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Learning True Love: Practicing Buddhism in a Time of War
Sister Chan Khong's autobiography tells the story of her spiritual and personal odyssey through the many years of her life. The book’s centerpiece is her moving account of her return to Vietnam, her homeland, after 40 years of exile. She describes in refreshing detail her emotional reactions, the reunions with many old friends and fellow activists, and her impression of the “new Vietnam” where Buddhists still struggle for religious freedom. Often compared to The Autobiography of Mahatma Gandhi, this memoir connects to larger themes, especialy when the author discusses the life and teaching of her fellow exile, Thich Nhat Hanh, gives an overview of the development of the European and American peace and human rights movements, and introduces readers to the Vietnamese style of Buddhism. Learning True Love is a testament to the power of tenacity and faith.
324 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2005
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
September 16, 2007
For years in my Social Justice course at Saint Louis University, I assigned the 1993 paperback by Cao Ngoc Phuong entitled, Learning True Love. One of my favorite books, it is the story of a young woman growing up in Vietnam during the 1950s and 1960s. From a young age, her passion is to be of assistance to poor people; she also wanted to be a Buddhist, but didn’t have very inspiring teachers. This changed when she met Thich Nhat Hanh, who became her teacher and mentor.
What made that book so compelling for me (and many of my students) was Phuong’s unbelievable stamina, inspiring cheerfulness, and serene courage in the midst of repression, poverty, and war.
Just this past April, Parallax Press published a second, revised, updated edition of the book, which I will continue to encourage my students to read and ponder. This edition continues the story of Phuong who became a Buddhist nun at age 50, taking on the name Sister Chan Khong. The book details the life and work at Plum Village, the Buddhist meditation center in France, as well as Thich Nhat Hanh and Chan Khong’s return to Vietnam after living in exile since the 1960s. Maxine Hong Kingston observes in her preface to the book, “Peacefully, lovingly, in the midst of war in Vietnam, Sister Chan Khong built communes, ‘pioneer villages,’ started schools and taught in them, nursed the wounded and sick, fed the hungry, buried the dead, all the while organizing people to raise funds and do work that changes the warring world.”
Chan Khong is a living example of what has come to be called “engaged Buddhism” and I think her story and perspective are invaluable for those of us in the United States who are involved in social change work.
I recently came across the following thought from writer Alice Walker: “The most important question in the world is, 'Why is the child crying?'” Chan Khong’s Learning True Love is an account of how she ahs tried to respond to this simple question. By reading about her life and practice, we may be led to ask, “Why are the children of Gaza, Baghdad, and Saint Louis crying?”
What made that book so compelling for me (and many of my students) was Phuong’s unbelievable stamina, inspiring cheerfulness, and serene courage in the midst of repression, poverty, and war.
Just this past April, Parallax Press published a second, revised, updated edition of the book, which I will continue to encourage my students to read and ponder. This edition continues the story of Phuong who became a Buddhist nun at age 50, taking on the name Sister Chan Khong. The book details the life and work at Plum Village, the Buddhist meditation center in France, as well as Thich Nhat Hanh and Chan Khong’s return to Vietnam after living in exile since the 1960s. Maxine Hong Kingston observes in her preface to the book, “Peacefully, lovingly, in the midst of war in Vietnam, Sister Chan Khong built communes, ‘pioneer villages,’ started schools and taught in them, nursed the wounded and sick, fed the hungry, buried the dead, all the while organizing people to raise funds and do work that changes the warring world.”
Chan Khong is a living example of what has come to be called “engaged Buddhism” and I think her story and perspective are invaluable for those of us in the United States who are involved in social change work.
I recently came across the following thought from writer Alice Walker: “The most important question in the world is, 'Why is the child crying?'” Chan Khong’s Learning True Love is an account of how she ahs tried to respond to this simple question. By reading about her life and practice, we may be led to ask, “Why are the children of Gaza, Baghdad, and Saint Louis crying?”
September 9, 2025
Beautiful, tedious, naive, inspiring, repetitive, brave
I was very irritated by her strange (symptomatic?) avoidance of US and French war crimes, of the violent structural logic of colonialism- yet what have I done in my life compared to her century of putting everything on the line for her fellow beings?
I’ll be thinking about this one.
I was very irritated by her strange (symptomatic?) avoidance of US and French war crimes, of the violent structural logic of colonialism- yet what have I done in my life compared to her century of putting everything on the line for her fellow beings?
I’ll be thinking about this one.
April 10, 2009
I choose this book for personal reasons. (Don't we all?)
I wanted to learn about love and service from the Buddhist perspective. On the cover of this book is a sweet, peaceful, and woman who reminds my of my grandmother. I was interested into hearing what she had to say.
She talks about her life with honesty and a pure heart. She is humble and openly exposes all sides of her. This is one of those books where it seems as if you are sitting with her and drinking tea while she talks about her life. No it's not like some of those boring stories people tell about themselves. You are there. You feel and see her perspective.
This book is about what I believe is the most important thing in the world: love. However, she talk about different types of love but they seem to be the same in the end.
I loved and will re-read this book. I have marked stories and quotes that I know I will refer to in the future.
I just wished that everyone would read this book.
It opens your heart and soul.
I felt compassion like never before and it inspired all aspects of my life.
So I would like to thank Sister Chan Khong for sharing her wisdom, hope, faith and love the she has for all of us.
I wanted to learn about love and service from the Buddhist perspective. On the cover of this book is a sweet, peaceful, and woman who reminds my of my grandmother. I was interested into hearing what she had to say.
She talks about her life with honesty and a pure heart. She is humble and openly exposes all sides of her. This is one of those books where it seems as if you are sitting with her and drinking tea while she talks about her life. No it's not like some of those boring stories people tell about themselves. You are there. You feel and see her perspective.
This book is about what I believe is the most important thing in the world: love. However, she talk about different types of love but they seem to be the same in the end.
I loved and will re-read this book. I have marked stories and quotes that I know I will refer to in the future.
I just wished that everyone would read this book.
It opens your heart and soul.
I felt compassion like never before and it inspired all aspects of my life.
So I would like to thank Sister Chan Khong for sharing her wisdom, hope, faith and love the she has for all of us.
March 22, 2024
I can’t even begin to explain how significant this is
August 26, 2010
I met this remarkable woman in 2006 at a retreat in Colorado with Thich Nhat Hahn. Her life story - of humanitarian aid work and political struggle grounded in the self-work of Buddhist practice - is truly inspiring. Her bravery in risking her life to provide social service in war-torn Viet Nam is remarkable, and the peace work she did to try to end the war and to help the "boat people" is still thought-provoking. But I think what did me the most good was story after story of how she used contemplative practices to get through excruciating circumstances - not by praying for miracles, but by returning to her own ground of dignity, compassion, and equanimity - which is pretty miraculous.
November 12, 2015
I was so fortunate to have attended a retreat with both Thay Nhat Hahn and Thay Khong and was even more fortunate to be in her small discussion group for daily dharma sharing. Her writing does not do her justice. She's extremely intelligent, incredibly brave, giving and joyful. No "putting on airs", completely humble despite her amazing and often perilous journey. Above all, her compassion is very genuine. I honestly think she's a bodhisattva.
April 21, 2008
I am very fortunate that I have gotten a few chances to be on Retreat with Sister Chan Khong. She has the most amazing energy and her strength simply transmits through the air. Check this book out...you'll most definitely be moved, it'll open your heart and OPEN YOUR eyes, if you're like me and didn't live through the war of Vietnam. MAY ALL BEINGS AWAKEN IN THIS LIFETIME!
October 24, 2023
"Learning True Love" by Sister Chan Khong offers an intimate glimpse into the life and work of a remarkable individual who played a significant role in the struggles of Vietnam. Sister Chan Khong, a prominent figure in the Plum Village tradition of Zen Buddhism, takes readers on a journey through her experiences in Vietnam during a turbulent period in its history.
I had the privilege of meeting Sister Chan Khong at a monastery retreat in New York, though I regret not knowing more about her background at that time. The book, however, primarily delves into the biography of her work in Vietnam rather than a profound exploration of her personal faith and how she practiced it. This approach may leave readers expecting a more in-depth examination of her spiritual journey feeling somewhat disappointed.
One noticeable aspect of the book is its repetitious and detailed nature, which may not suit all tastes. While the detailed accounts of Vietnam's struggles and the tireless efforts of Buddhist leaders like Sister Chan Khong are undoubtedly informative, the narrative can sometimes become dense and overly repetitive.
Despite these reservations, "Learning True Love" does offer valuable insights into the arduous challenges faced by Sister Chan Khong and her fellow activists during the Vietnam War. It sheds light on their unyielding commitment to peace, compassion, and social justice. Readers interested in the historical context of Vietnam's struggles and the profound impact of Buddhist leaders in that period will find this book a valuable resource.
In conclusion, "Learning True Love" is a detailed and at times repetitive biography that primarily focuses on Sister Chan Khong's work in Vietnam, rather than delving deeply into her spiritual beliefs and practices. It is a worthwhile read for those seeking to gain a deeper understanding of the historical backdrop and the tireless efforts of Buddhist leaders during a critical era in Vietnam's history. However, readers looking for a more personal exploration of faith and practice might find themselves yearning for a more introspective account.
I had the privilege of meeting Sister Chan Khong at a monastery retreat in New York, though I regret not knowing more about her background at that time. The book, however, primarily delves into the biography of her work in Vietnam rather than a profound exploration of her personal faith and how she practiced it. This approach may leave readers expecting a more in-depth examination of her spiritual journey feeling somewhat disappointed.
One noticeable aspect of the book is its repetitious and detailed nature, which may not suit all tastes. While the detailed accounts of Vietnam's struggles and the tireless efforts of Buddhist leaders like Sister Chan Khong are undoubtedly informative, the narrative can sometimes become dense and overly repetitive.
Despite these reservations, "Learning True Love" does offer valuable insights into the arduous challenges faced by Sister Chan Khong and her fellow activists during the Vietnam War. It sheds light on their unyielding commitment to peace, compassion, and social justice. Readers interested in the historical context of Vietnam's struggles and the profound impact of Buddhist leaders in that period will find this book a valuable resource.
In conclusion, "Learning True Love" is a detailed and at times repetitive biography that primarily focuses on Sister Chan Khong's work in Vietnam, rather than delving deeply into her spiritual beliefs and practices. It is a worthwhile read for those seeking to gain a deeper understanding of the historical backdrop and the tireless efforts of Buddhist leaders during a critical era in Vietnam's history. However, readers looking for a more personal exploration of faith and practice might find themselves yearning for a more introspective account.
August 25, 2020
The autobiography of a Vietnamese Buddhist nun, for decades exiled in France, yet never ceasing to find ways to help her homeland.
Chan Khong is a practitioner of 'engaged Buddhism', for her this is mainly practical social work to provide the basics to the poor. The text is also a political history of one perspective of the American-Vietnamese war and the Communist lock-down that followed, accompanied by Western complacency.
The author is an extraordinary peace activist and fund raiser, repeatedly putting others first and never compromising her values. Had she taken a different course in life, she could easily have been a top politician or CEO, but that is not where her heart took her.
Many times she risked her life and physical safety to help those in need, such as Vietnamese boat people or near-starving peasants in war-torn Vietnam. Anyone who has heard her speaking will recall her warm energy and engaging personality. Her approach to life's difficulties, and also to difficult people, is an example to us all.
The text is also somewhat playful: she even pokes some fun at her far more famous and renowned lifetime mentor Thich Nhat Hanh. In her practical activity and her lack of conceit, she seems to excel even this mentor.
Worth a read for anyone interested in the Vietnamese perspective of the war years and aftermath, or interested in how Buddhism can be practiced in modern life. Her story is also an example to young people (especially young women) on how to achieve change in a conservative male-dominated organisation, without resorting to confrontation or tribal politics.
Chan Khong is a practitioner of 'engaged Buddhism', for her this is mainly practical social work to provide the basics to the poor. The text is also a political history of one perspective of the American-Vietnamese war and the Communist lock-down that followed, accompanied by Western complacency.
The author is an extraordinary peace activist and fund raiser, repeatedly putting others first and never compromising her values. Had she taken a different course in life, she could easily have been a top politician or CEO, but that is not where her heart took her.
Many times she risked her life and physical safety to help those in need, such as Vietnamese boat people or near-starving peasants in war-torn Vietnam. Anyone who has heard her speaking will recall her warm energy and engaging personality. Her approach to life's difficulties, and also to difficult people, is an example to us all.
The text is also somewhat playful: she even pokes some fun at her far more famous and renowned lifetime mentor Thich Nhat Hanh. In her practical activity and her lack of conceit, she seems to excel even this mentor.
Worth a read for anyone interested in the Vietnamese perspective of the war years and aftermath, or interested in how Buddhism can be practiced in modern life. Her story is also an example to young people (especially young women) on how to achieve change in a conservative male-dominated organisation, without resorting to confrontation or tribal politics.
December 31, 2021
This is a lovely little book. The author possesses a great deal of wisdom and humility. She is a true expert at balancing bravery and compassion. It can benefit anyone interested in social work, peace work, or Buddhism.
This book will provide a picture of how daily struggles and significant decisions were reconciled for anyone who has enjoyed Thich Nhat Hanh's teachings and been curious about the experiences of devout Buddhists in Vietnam.
Through her book, I learned about ordinary Vietnamese people's struggles and pains during the difficult years. And the many bodhisattvas' sacrifices and heroic stories, such as Sister Chan Kong, Master Thich Nhat Hanh, and many others. I applaud their bravery in stepping outside of orthodox Buddhism to put it into practice. Many of the pages had me in tears. Thank you so much for demonstrating to the world, particularly Buddhists, how to put compassion and understanding into action and what true love entails. Excellent BOOK!
This book will provide a picture of how daily struggles and significant decisions were reconciled for anyone who has enjoyed Thich Nhat Hanh's teachings and been curious about the experiences of devout Buddhists in Vietnam.
Through her book, I learned about ordinary Vietnamese people's struggles and pains during the difficult years. And the many bodhisattvas' sacrifices and heroic stories, such as Sister Chan Kong, Master Thich Nhat Hanh, and many others. I applaud their bravery in stepping outside of orthodox Buddhism to put it into practice. Many of the pages had me in tears. Thank you so much for demonstrating to the world, particularly Buddhists, how to put compassion and understanding into action and what true love entails. Excellent BOOK!
February 28, 2018
This isn't like reading a book, this is like living the history of Vietnam, it's like getting your soul immolated just as those monks did it for freedom, for peace, for us.
Oh my.. I was on the bus on my way to work and I haven't seen it coming- her friend so shy, so timid, so open, so pure and she set herself on fire. I couldn't stop crying because it isn't just about Vietnam, or just about a person, it just about everyone and everything: what do we value most? And how do we put it into practice?
If you get your hands on this book it will change your life by putting things things in perspective and by raising a lot , but really a lot of questions about who you are and who we are as a species.
I am so grateful that there are people walking this Earth as the author, as the Dalai Lama, as Thich Nhat Khan.
May we all act wiser.
Oh my.. I was on the bus on my way to work and I haven't seen it coming- her friend so shy, so timid, so open, so pure and she set herself on fire. I couldn't stop crying because it isn't just about Vietnam, or just about a person, it just about everyone and everything: what do we value most? And how do we put it into practice?
If you get your hands on this book it will change your life by putting things things in perspective and by raising a lot , but really a lot of questions about who you are and who we are as a species.
I am so grateful that there are people walking this Earth as the author, as the Dalai Lama, as Thich Nhat Khan.
May we all act wiser.
February 18, 2021
The courage, compassion, and persistence of this remarkable woman in helping the poor in Vietnam during the War, then the refugee boat people afterwards, led to a lifetime of reaching out to relieve suffering wherever she could. One of the original six students of Thich Nhat Hanh, Sr. Chan Khong was co-founder of the Plum Village community in France which, up until the pandemic, drew thousands every year to retreats and other programs.
It was fascinating to me to read--in her own words--how everything happened. I also read the additional, more recent material in the second edition of this book, which came out in 2007.
It was fascinating to me to read--in her own words--how everything happened. I also read the additional, more recent material in the second edition of this book, which came out in 2007.
March 27, 2020
Sister Chan Khong is a massive inspiration. Only having known of her through the lens of her work alongside Thich Nhat Hanh, reading this book drove home to me how incredible that work is. Beyond the dharma that they have lived and taught, the true selflessness, compassion and profoundly brave determination expressed in their actions and words are incomprehensible. There is much to learn within this book about the nuances of the war in Vietnam, of colonialism, the lives of refuges, of fear and love and famine and seeing the light even in ones “enemies”...
March 26, 2020
I cannot stress enough how precious this book is to me. Sister Chan Khong is an inspiring woman, who fought for everything she believed in, yet not with force, with love. Usually, I don't like biographies a lot, but this one is different. Sister Chan teaches us how to live fully during a crisis and how to help those in need around us. This book can be really helpful to you, especially in challenging times like this.
February 12, 2025
I'm very grateful to this book for teaching me more experiences and stories of activism from the early period of Thich Nhat Hanh's peace work and what has become the global work of plum village and its associated monastic community
October 22, 2019
20,000 stars. I was so moved by her stories, her courage, and her resilience. So insightful and inspiring--this should be the first book anyone reads on the conflict in Vietnam.
Want to read
June 5, 2023From You Are Here, Thich Nhat Hanh
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July 31, 2024
Pg 101
December 29, 2020
Sister Chan Kong's story filled me with my own passion for wanting to help others. An incredible human being, and one who I strive to be like every day.
February 18, 2017
A very inspiring story of a Buddhist nun who was originally born in Vietnam. While there she started working with Thich Nhat Hahn and along with him was later an exile. She helped establish Plum Village Monastery in France and Deer Park Monastery in California. Eventually, after 40 years in exile both she and Thich Nhat Hahn were able to enter Vietnam again and teach. Buddhists like her and Thich Nhat Hahn were strong proponents of nonviolent protests against the war in Vietnam.
December 22, 2014
I found this rather dry, full of dates, names, places, the prose rather wooden. I think I was expecting more of a spiritual autobiography, whereas this is mostly a history of Sister Chan Khong's part in the founding of Thich Nhat Hanh's order. Sister Khong is quite open & honest about her inner struggles to find a peaceful heart, but it seemed a more clinical description to me. An example...
"One night, we stopped in Son Khuong, a remote village where the fighting was especially fierce. As we were about to go to sleep in our boat, suddenly we heard shooting, then screaming, then shooting again. The young people in our group were seized with panic, and a few young men jumped into the river to avoid the bullets. I sat quietly in the boat with two nuns and breathed consciously to calm myself."
Inspiring? Possibly. Warm & relatable? Nope.
I came away feeling that Sister Chan Khong is an amazing woman, but not someone I could actually have a conversation with, not someone I could connect with.
"One night, we stopped in Son Khuong, a remote village where the fighting was especially fierce. As we were about to go to sleep in our boat, suddenly we heard shooting, then screaming, then shooting again. The young people in our group were seized with panic, and a few young men jumped into the river to avoid the bullets. I sat quietly in the boat with two nuns and breathed consciously to calm myself."
Inspiring? Possibly. Warm & relatable? Nope.
I came away feeling that Sister Chan Khong is an amazing woman, but not someone I could actually have a conversation with, not someone I could connect with.
May 30, 2016
The simplicity and directness of sister Chain Khong's perspective is sort of shocking. There is little to nothing of ego present in the story of her life in service. The portrait it paints of Buddhist practice, and of the war in Vietnam is so immediately available through her presentation. I was particularly moved by her description of self-immolation, the motives and live of those young people who gave their lives during the war, I had never stepped into their shoes before, or imagined the way that their memory lived in the lives of their comrades. What a moving book.
June 11, 2016
Initially I was not impressed with this book. However the further I read the more I realized the deep and abiding personal truth of this simple woman's love for her homeland and for Thich Nhat Hanh which allowed her to steadfastly serve under his direction and slowly grow into her own wisdom and confidence. I read it slowly, pondering each small segment to see how it pertained to my life and what I could learn from it.
May 21, 2009
kaya ngerasain jaman perang vietnam...
sister Chan khong benar2 hebat...
dgn melakukan hidup berkesadaran, bisa menyelesaikan berbagai macam masalah negara...
kapan ya, bisa ke plum village...i wish i could be there soon...
sister Chan khong benar2 hebat...
dgn melakukan hidup berkesadaran, bisa menyelesaikan berbagai macam masalah negara...
kapan ya, bisa ke plum village...i wish i could be there soon...
October 26, 2013
I read this book years ago. This woman is a Bodhisattva and she provides insights for anyone who is fascinated by one of our greatest living religious teachers, Thich Nhat Hanh. The writing style leaves something to be desired, though.
August 8, 2014
Set against the background of one of the most divisive wars in history, this is the amazing story of an amazing woman. All Su Co Chang Khong ever wanted to do to be faithful to her aspiration to serve all beings and end a war.
April 21, 2008
My old minister's wife lent this one to me. I've been searching for it ever since. beautiful book.
August 21, 2008
One of those books that truly affected my perspective and ideals - and consequently has probably had profound influence on the choices I've made in my life.
January 5, 2009
The most amazing story of love, courage and compassion. It retaught me everything I thought I knew so well. The sort of book you'll always want to have on hand to borrow off to the world.
January 12, 2009
I read this book before I met Sister Chan Khong in India in Oct. 2008 where we were traveling with Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh. What a marvelous loving presence in this mad, mad world!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews