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How to Talk with Practically Anybody About Practically Anything
1970 Doubleday Book Club Edition (Hardcover)
173 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1970
12 people are currently reading
1136 people want to read
About the author
Barbara Walters
20 books57 followersBarbara Walters of American television reported news from 1961 for the national broadcasting company, and afterward in 1976 joined as the first woman to anchor the nightly network to 1979.
Barbara Jill Walters wrote as an journalist and media personality as a regular fixture on morning shows like The View. People knew Walters for more than a decade in morning on Today, where she with Hugh Downs later hosted Frank McGee and Jim Hartz. Walters later spent a quarter-century as co-host of 20/20, an evening magazine. She, the female, stood with Harry Reasoner on The American Broadcasting Company Evening News.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara...
Barbara Jill Walters wrote as an journalist and media personality as a regular fixture on morning shows like The View. People knew Walters for more than a decade in morning on Today, where she with Hugh Downs later hosted Frank McGee and Jim Hartz. Walters later spent a quarter-century as co-host of 20/20, an evening magazine. She, the female, stood with Harry Reasoner on The American Broadcasting Company Evening News.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara...
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews
August 25, 2017
I am an introvert, so the title of this book sounded like a ticket to the promised land. Thinking it was like all the other "How To" books I've read, I was ready for lists of techniques to practice, neat little instructions, maybe even illustrations.
I missed one crucial little fact: Barbara Walters is an extrovert. To an extrovert "How To Talk With Anybody About Practically Anything" means "How To Be Delightful And Interesting And Charming At All Times". Sure. That'll happen. I need somebody to tell me what to DO; this book is about how to BE.
Not that there isn't helpful information; Barbara Walters has mastered the art of conversation and she's willing to share what she's learned. When I went back through the book to look at the things I'd underlined, I did indeed end up with a list, not of things to do, but of things to remember about how people need to be treated.
In the first half of the book it becomes clear that her "secret" is simply caring about people. She believes it is her responsibility to make people comfortable. Whether she's doing an interview or talking to someone at a party, her priority is making sure the other person is left both feeling and looking good. What her philosophy boils down to is that one should never embarrass, criticize, insult or even inconvenience anyone else, but always allow them to save face, feel good about themselves and keep their dignity. Is it any wonder people respond so well?
Passages like this one sum it up quite well:
"People bursting with good will and an abundance of mental health are charming company; their need for ego-boosting, however, is minimal. People sinking into self-pity and depression are dreary, but they can't get out of it by themselves. So every now and then, just sit there and listen, and listen, and listen. You're paying your membership dues in the human race."
The second half of the book was a hoot. She talks about makeup, hair and clothes, but the book was published in 1970 so her suggestions are 42 years out of date. It was a blast from the past reading her advice about sending party invitations, how to properly thank your hostess, arranging seating at a dinner party, whether or not to have a receiving line at your party and even how to arrange for a guest lecturer and how to behave if you are one. This section is Etiquette 101, for a specific class of people in a specific time and place. It was wonderfully entertaining for someone who has never associated with the rich and famous, never visited New York City let alone lived there and who gets to read all of it with 42 years hindsight.
In the end I did get what I wanted from this book. Talking to people - family, friends or strangers - is not about technique, it's about caring. People know when they are being respected, and when they are just being tolerated, and every person ever born needs to feel they are being taken seriously. This book is worth reading just to be reminded of that. Sure it's dated, but the truths in it will never be out of date. And besides that, it was just plain fun.
I missed one crucial little fact: Barbara Walters is an extrovert. To an extrovert "How To Talk With Anybody About Practically Anything" means "How To Be Delightful And Interesting And Charming At All Times". Sure. That'll happen. I need somebody to tell me what to DO; this book is about how to BE.
Not that there isn't helpful information; Barbara Walters has mastered the art of conversation and she's willing to share what she's learned. When I went back through the book to look at the things I'd underlined, I did indeed end up with a list, not of things to do, but of things to remember about how people need to be treated.
In the first half of the book it becomes clear that her "secret" is simply caring about people. She believes it is her responsibility to make people comfortable. Whether she's doing an interview or talking to someone at a party, her priority is making sure the other person is left both feeling and looking good. What her philosophy boils down to is that one should never embarrass, criticize, insult or even inconvenience anyone else, but always allow them to save face, feel good about themselves and keep their dignity. Is it any wonder people respond so well?
Passages like this one sum it up quite well:
"People bursting with good will and an abundance of mental health are charming company; their need for ego-boosting, however, is minimal. People sinking into self-pity and depression are dreary, but they can't get out of it by themselves. So every now and then, just sit there and listen, and listen, and listen. You're paying your membership dues in the human race."
The second half of the book was a hoot. She talks about makeup, hair and clothes, but the book was published in 1970 so her suggestions are 42 years out of date. It was a blast from the past reading her advice about sending party invitations, how to properly thank your hostess, arranging seating at a dinner party, whether or not to have a receiving line at your party and even how to arrange for a guest lecturer and how to behave if you are one. This section is Etiquette 101, for a specific class of people in a specific time and place. It was wonderfully entertaining for someone who has never associated with the rich and famous, never visited New York City let alone lived there and who gets to read all of it with 42 years hindsight.
In the end I did get what I wanted from this book. Talking to people - family, friends or strangers - is not about technique, it's about caring. People know when they are being respected, and when they are just being tolerated, and every person ever born needs to feel they are being taken seriously. This book is worth reading just to be reminded of that. Sure it's dated, but the truths in it will never be out of date. And besides that, it was just plain fun.
October 20, 2022
As part of her work in television news media, Barbara Walters has interviewed thousands of people from all walks of life and from many different cultures. In this book, she shares some of her tips for building rapport with strangers and building relationships with people in your work or personal life. She also has ideas for working through feelings of shyness and what we now call social anxiety.
October 21, 2019
Outdated and charmingly offensive
April 13, 2013
I originally read this book when I was 12. No idea why since I’ve never been shy or at a loss for words yet I remember it fondly even if my only recalled take-away is to be well-read so you that you have something of interest to discuss. Rediscovering this book on openlibrary.org is a lesson in how faulty our memories truly are and how a 12 year-old is not the best judge of books. What 12 year-old needs chapters on conversing with royalty, celebrities, tycoons (both regular and lady tycoons plus the tycoon's wife), and lady drunks (distract her from her booze by asking if she would be so kind to accompany you to the ladies room)? Thankfully, my 12 year-old self absorbed nothing from her chapter on flirtation, both in the office and while looking for a man (in the same chapter, I think, to distinguish between fun, pointless flirtation and serious flirtation with an end goal). Let’s just say Clarence Thomas would applaud Walters approval of “casual” office flirtations and the advice for women to be pleasant and agreeable above all else. Just so you know, Walters is flattered if you openly flirt with her husband and thinks nothing more fun than an interviewee undressing her with his eyes, especially if he's Richard Burton. In another chapter, she even states that even the most loathsome of sexual advances at least reminds you that you’re pretty. Yes, because who doesn’t want to be pretty for a lecherous drunk? FYI, hair and makeup tips to remain presentable, another conversational plus, are also provided.
I did like Truman Capote’s advice for handling bores by making the bore a topic of mental analysis (What makes him so boring? What could his inner life be like?) and Walters’ advice on how to handle those who have such objectionable politics (“There are those who say . . . “) although the objectionable ones were those crazy early 70s radicals. And I now know the origin of Barbara Walters' odd “If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?” line of questioning. As she states, if all else fails and you can’t get a conversation going, bring up a conversational game like who would you want in the next hospital bed for company. Hugh Downs would like Sophia Loren in the next bed and Liberace chose Greta Garbo, letting you know that Walters has asked lots of people this question and that she does a lot of celebrity name-dropping throughout the book.
In Barbara Walters' defense, this book is long out-of-print and, based on the antiquated lady politics, I’m guessing or hoping she’s greatly evolved her feminist thinking and would like to keep it that way. Shame on openlibrary.org for making this crazy book available for e-book loan and ruining my fond tween memories but thank you for saving me from paying $26, the cheapest price available, for a used copy. For entertainment value, I’d love for Whoopie Goldberg and Joy Behar to debate this book on Walters' show The View with Elizabeth Hasselbeck, who I’m sure would find this book timely and relevant.
I did like Truman Capote’s advice for handling bores by making the bore a topic of mental analysis (What makes him so boring? What could his inner life be like?) and Walters’ advice on how to handle those who have such objectionable politics (“There are those who say . . . “) although the objectionable ones were those crazy early 70s radicals. And I now know the origin of Barbara Walters' odd “If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?” line of questioning. As she states, if all else fails and you can’t get a conversation going, bring up a conversational game like who would you want in the next hospital bed for company. Hugh Downs would like Sophia Loren in the next bed and Liberace chose Greta Garbo, letting you know that Walters has asked lots of people this question and that she does a lot of celebrity name-dropping throughout the book.
In Barbara Walters' defense, this book is long out-of-print and, based on the antiquated lady politics, I’m guessing or hoping she’s greatly evolved her feminist thinking and would like to keep it that way. Shame on openlibrary.org for making this crazy book available for e-book loan and ruining my fond tween memories but thank you for saving me from paying $26, the cheapest price available, for a used copy. For entertainment value, I’d love for Whoopie Goldberg and Joy Behar to debate this book on Walters' show The View with Elizabeth Hasselbeck, who I’m sure would find this book timely and relevant.
October 26, 2013
Added 10/26/13.
I read this as a library book years ago (and took many notes) but I decided to buy myself a copy and re-read it. So I bought a used copy online. It's full of helpful advice on how to talk to people and make good conversation. It takes a certain kind of skill to have interesting and friendly conversations. It's a useful skill. Barbara Walters shares her experiences in doing interviews and gives many "do-and-don't" suggestions.
I read this as a library book years ago (and took many notes) but I decided to buy myself a copy and re-read it. So I bought a used copy online. It's full of helpful advice on how to talk to people and make good conversation. It takes a certain kind of skill to have interesting and friendly conversations. It's a useful skill. Barbara Walters shares her experiences in doing interviews and gives many "do-and-don't" suggestions.
July 30, 2014
This book was written in another era, and is sometimes deeply offensive, but I think that makes it a historical artifact and funnier for it. From the chapter titled, "How to Cope... with Disaster": "You can pretend to faint, but this is a temporary measure. You've got to do better than that, and you get marks for quickness!"
December 20, 2023
I think the target audience for this book was "rich white women who are socialites" to which I do not apply to, so I don't know where to use this newfound knowledge. However, if someone reading this needs a plus one to a gala or to visit foreign royalty- hit me up 🙏🏻
One thing that stood out to me, was the fact that this book was written in an era where women were primarily house wives and shortly after the end of segregation.
Both of this things can heavily be seen in this book, with her having subcategories for women within certain groups, like "women tycoons" and referencing Martin Luther King Jr. and the Black Panthers movement periodically throughout, even including her own interview with MLKs mother. That said, in regards to both of this things, she was giving undercover racist. It was odd. Like she was writing in a way that was very performative , like she was only suggesting you not be racist because if you aren't you'll offend people.
She's also a boomer, so the questions she recommends you ask people are weird. "What do you think about the emergence of four letter words" was crazy, I still need to google to see what she was on about. UPDATE: she means curse words LOL, "four letter word" is not a literal thing it's slang for bad words
Overall, nothing remarkable. It did push me to do a deep dive on the author, and realize that she’s actually really well known . I’m also not going to be taking book recs from Quora anymore 😭
One thing that stood out to me, was the fact that this book was written in an era where women were primarily house wives and shortly after the end of segregation.
Both of this things can heavily be seen in this book, with her having subcategories for women within certain groups, like "women tycoons" and referencing Martin Luther King Jr. and the Black Panthers movement periodically throughout, even including her own interview with MLKs mother. That said, in regards to both of this things, she was giving undercover racist. It was odd. Like she was writing in a way that was very performative , like she was only suggesting you not be racist because if you aren't you'll offend people.
She's also a boomer, so the questions she recommends you ask people are weird. "What do you think about the emergence of four letter words" was crazy, I still need to google to see what she was on about. UPDATE: she means curse words LOL, "four letter word" is not a literal thing it's slang for bad words
Overall, nothing remarkable. It did push me to do a deep dive on the author, and realize that she’s actually really well known . I’m also not going to be taking book recs from Quora anymore 😭
August 27, 2021
In 1970, Barbara Walters' best fallback advice is to ask about clothes. "Does your wife pick your ties?" "Your Majesty, how did you keep your dress so clean after your visit to [example] mineshaft?" "Is it difficult to pack on a moment's notice, Mrs [ambassodor]?" That's 1970. That's Mad Men country. Fun read for a book I found in the staff lounge of the library I work in.
Read
December 3, 2024Scooped it up at the Pasadena Antique Mall as a plane read. No knowledge of Barbara Walters other than her name, but I very much enjoyed her takes on social decorum in the 70s, most of which are still very useful today.
March 4, 2022
Was there helpful information? Sure. But it was also peppered with nauseating sexism and racism that made it actually difficult to read in some passages. I can't really think of a situation or reader for whom I'd recommend this title.
March 28, 2011
A marvelous book--I pick it up every few months. Walters is so clear in her writing and her ideas are so sensible.
She covers the gamut of difficult conversations: with drunks, bores, the deaf, etc. Here, for instance, is her advice for how to talk to children. "Rather than inuqireing if the child has any hobbies, a term he may not understand, ask rather what he likes to do after school. Ask a little girl if she picks out her own clothes. Ask younger children to show you their favorite toy or name their favorite friend and tell you why they like the friend so much. Ask them what things scare htem—children have interesting fears."
She covers the gamut of difficult conversations: with drunks, bores, the deaf, etc. Here, for instance, is her advice for how to talk to children. "Rather than inuqireing if the child has any hobbies, a term he may not understand, ask rather what he likes to do after school. Ask a little girl if she picks out her own clothes. Ask younger children to show you their favorite toy or name their favorite friend and tell you why they like the friend so much. Ask them what things scare htem—children have interesting fears."
August 29, 2007
First of all, it is hilarious to read a book in the voice of Babs. The language of the book is from another time, a little less than politically correct for the two-thousands. However,she actually does show great insight about communicating with all sorts of (sometimes challenging) people.
April 6, 2011
I particularly enjoyed learning how to become fascinated with why some people are so damned boring ;)
September 26, 2016
written in 1970, so a few of the conversstion ideas and some social rules have changed since this was written, this book can still give some ideas for how to improve one's conversation skills.
April 3, 2024
Read for purely entertainment value after picking up a free hardcopy, it was interesting to compare how the past 50 years have changed the dynamics of Barbara Walters' techniques for successfully maintaining the gift of gab.
From stroking the egos of men/celebrities/powerful influencers to preparing for job interviews and dates, she details her style of communication when meeting new people of all backgrounds. Much of the information is dated, particularly in binary thinking and the roles of females in society, however some of the tips are still useful to overcoming modern day communication barriers. There are times where she pays more mind to how perfect the hair/outfit presentation matters more than being forward with personal opinions in a conversation with upper-echelon participants but does offer grace and cautions when bringing up sensitive topics to a variety of personality types as a way to mold yourself to bring out the most conversation from others and build a sense of trust.
Another difference noticed is a couple of flippant remarks about suicide, which is presented in a humorous tone but fails to land given the cultural shift with such sensitive dialogue. There's also dated terms that thankfully have mostly phased out of common vernacular but hints at the social conditioning prevalent during that era.
Overall, Barbara offers quips, tips, past experiences, and lessons learned from her initial decade as a writer and Today Show correspondent in this book that runs the range of useful, laughable, somewhat subjective, fairly specific situations and diversity of personalities that she had the experience working with. Her dry humor and personable style are present in the writing, and some of her honesty-forward trade tips could be well worth considering in today's shock-and-awe journalistic approaches to drawing viewership.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Favorite Quotes:
"I am the way I am; I look the way I look; I am my age."
"Today politics is the hottest, most dangerous subject in the land. It's not only a conversation-wrecker, it's a friendship-wrecker, a family-wrecker, a job-wrecker, a future-wrecker. If we could harness the destructive energy of disagreements over politics, we wouldn't need the bomb."
"Because of my efforts to at least appear objective, I can truthfully see two sides to almost any issue. This doesn't stop me from forming a personal opinion, but it does stop me from feeling that anyone who doesn't agree with me is full of malarkey."
"The most consistently endearing trait is human warmth. Everybody responds to the person that radiates friendliness from a serene core. Such people are lovely to be around because they don't reject or belittle and, best of all, they bring out the best, most generous qualities in the people they encounter, and make them feel marvelous about themselves. Project warmth: it's in short supply."
From stroking the egos of men/celebrities/powerful influencers to preparing for job interviews and dates, she details her style of communication when meeting new people of all backgrounds. Much of the information is dated, particularly in binary thinking and the roles of females in society, however some of the tips are still useful to overcoming modern day communication barriers. There are times where she pays more mind to how perfect the hair/outfit presentation matters more than being forward with personal opinions in a conversation with upper-echelon participants but does offer grace and cautions when bringing up sensitive topics to a variety of personality types as a way to mold yourself to bring out the most conversation from others and build a sense of trust.
Another difference noticed is a couple of flippant remarks about suicide, which is presented in a humorous tone but fails to land given the cultural shift with such sensitive dialogue. There's also dated terms that thankfully have mostly phased out of common vernacular but hints at the social conditioning prevalent during that era.
Overall, Barbara offers quips, tips, past experiences, and lessons learned from her initial decade as a writer and Today Show correspondent in this book that runs the range of useful, laughable, somewhat subjective, fairly specific situations and diversity of personalities that she had the experience working with. Her dry humor and personable style are present in the writing, and some of her honesty-forward trade tips could be well worth considering in today's shock-and-awe journalistic approaches to drawing viewership.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Favorite Quotes:
"I am the way I am; I look the way I look; I am my age."
"Today politics is the hottest, most dangerous subject in the land. It's not only a conversation-wrecker, it's a friendship-wrecker, a family-wrecker, a job-wrecker, a future-wrecker. If we could harness the destructive energy of disagreements over politics, we wouldn't need the bomb."
"Because of my efforts to at least appear objective, I can truthfully see two sides to almost any issue. This doesn't stop me from forming a personal opinion, but it does stop me from feeling that anyone who doesn't agree with me is full of malarkey."
"The most consistently endearing trait is human warmth. Everybody responds to the person that radiates friendliness from a serene core. Such people are lovely to be around because they don't reject or belittle and, best of all, they bring out the best, most generous qualities in the people they encounter, and make them feel marvelous about themselves. Project warmth: it's in short supply."
May 21, 2020
An interesting guide by an expert interviewer- however, this was written in the 70's and now feels more like a portal into a bygone era. Even the parts which were probably revolutionary for her time feel a bit inappropriate today- especially concerning gender expectations. In that sense, it also serves as a reminder of how much society has shifted. No longer does an interviewer need to "study up on newspapers & library books" to learn about their subject ahead of time- they can just do a quick google search! Social media has made people much more eager to disclose personal information of every sort-changing the conversation tactics for modern interviewers. Overall, it was interesting to learn about Barbara Walter's experiences as a successful female television figure, back when her role was novel for a woman.
September 14, 2022
Some entertaining, if dated, reading. Barbara Walter's talks about many celebrities and politicians she's interviewed, entertained , or had conversations with. A lot of it is written for people in upper social classes who want to flatter others of similar class. Its interesting and entertaining, but not as useful as one would hope. If you're looking to enhance your speaking or conversation skills, this isn't for you.
September 14, 2024
I first read this book when I was in my early twenties and found it very helpful. Recently, my husband found it in one of our many bookcases and I read it again, being in my late seventies now. It is very dated and isn’t a book I would recommend to my grandchildren but I have used many of Barbara Walter’s suggestions over the years in social situations with success.
August 28, 2017
Outdated in so many ways.
January 7, 2018
Good read, a little outdated though for the times.
September 24, 2019
“So every now and then, just sit there and listen, and listen, and listen. You’re paying your membership dues in the human race.”
April 4, 2020
Very outdated in parts, but some good advice.
May 13, 2020
It is a old book with good tips but some of them are not applicable decades after
March 3, 2025
So many helpful and practical tips! This book is a future re-read for sure!
July 14, 2025
What can I say....I LOVE spending time with Barbara Walters!
May 31, 2023
Dated. It gives you a glimpse into the social norms back then, and there are a few timeless hidden gems. You gotta dig 'em out yourself though from the author's unique stories and experiences. It's not your typical step-by-step guide, so don't expect any universal tips or strategies.
March 9, 2024
Being someone who can talk to a wall, I didn't necessarily need to read this book; however, since I inherited it, I decided to give it a read. It primarily caters to individuals in higher social classes who frequently interact with celebrities, royalty, and politicians. There are a few chapters that resonate with the average person, offering insights on connecting with both young people and the elderly. The book provides some noteworthy conversation starters and hosting tips. Despite its relevance, I wouldn't recommend it as a self-help book for social anxiety. It does carry a slightly outdated tone but manages to remain interesting for celebrity social dynamics.
May 29, 2014
This is a book by a well-respected television journalist, about the art of conversation and interviewing. It’s from 1970 and sports a picture of the author, much younger, certainly. Although the material is quite dated (she is referred to on the book jacket as “Miss Walters,” for example, and there are a number of other contemporary-culture references which by now seem stale, irrelevant and at times downright sexist, racist and generally politically incorrect, and which one reads with a combination of hilarity and cringing horror), the message seems consistent. Ms. (see?) Walters gives advice on talking to and bringing out people from a variety of groups, such as young/old, politicians/celebrities/CEOs, spouses of politicians/ celebrities/CEOs, royalty, difficult people, authors/lecturers, party guests and the like. I found the going quite slow, but for one who is shy and at a loss for such conversation at times, it would be helpful. Truly, I would be interested in an updated version of this book; indeed, I would surmise that Ms. Walters may herself cringe upon rereading these pages.
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April 29, 2011
This book was disapointing. Based on the title, one would think it would possess tips and tricks and conversation topics. It did that, but I walked away only feeling like I knew how to prepare to talk to someone (like a celebrity etc.). It was helpful in that regard because she told you what things to say to celebrities and what not to say, what research to do ahead of time (if you know you're going to be meeting them). But all of that was basically the first chapter. After that it gets a little dated (it was written around 1970, which is painfully obvious when you're reading things about the Kennedys and to remember that not all adolescents want to talk about drugs). It also was unhelpful in possessing tricks and tips for the chance and everyday encounters with ordinary people (co-workers, aquaintences, friends, etc.). Its a worthwile read, but know that its not going to be the book that changes your life.
March 9, 2015
I am 58 now and I think I read this when I was around 20 years old. It literally fell off a library shelf as I walked by.... I was curious, read it and have used her techniques ever since. Those techniques allowed me to grow into my confidence as I went thru life and met wonderful strangers with great stories. I would never have connected with so many people if Ms Walters had not shared her tools of how to get folks to open up to me. These tidbits on how to talk to practically anybody about practically anything got me jobs, start new friendships, spy on my friend's ex (at her request), face numerous "fear at a party" moments, get a puppy, and even get a husband (or two). What fun. It is a quick read with good solid examples. Go for it and let the experiences unfold.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews