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I Didn't Come Here to Make Friends: Confessions of a Reality Show Villain
In I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends former Bachelor “villain” and season 16 winner Courtney Robertson shares her story of love and heartbreak, and the reality of appearing on reality TV. For the first time ever, a former Bachelor contestant takes us along on her journey to find love and reveals that “happily ever after” isn't always what it seems.
275 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 24, 2014
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 836 reviews
July 27, 2014
6 stars. An absolute must-read for fans of Bachelor Nation. This book is funny and sad, and really gives a lot of behind-the-scenes info. I couldn't put it down, and it made me a genuine fan of Maneater Courtney. I hope she finds love. By the way, I'm not sorry or ashamed about how much I loved this book. Not at all.
June 23, 2014
Courtney Robinson Robertson was the girl we loved to hate. I'm a big fan of the Bachelor/ette franchise as a general rule, but Courtney really brought the kind of pain to the show that hooked us viewers in. I started off this review saying she was demonized, but I think everybody's aware, especially herself, that she was fully aware of her own behaviors and how they affected people.
Anyway, this is not a review on Courtney's personality flaws, but the book she wrote highlighting her life thus far which focuses heavily on her time with Ben Flajnik, The Bachelor's 16th bachelor.
A bit of backstory starts us off, namedropping as we go (Jesse Metcalfe, Adrian Grenier, Gerard Butler), where Courtney does her very best to set herself up as an awkward underdog whose ugly duckling difficulties in her teens and early 20s are intended to endear us to her. She stumbled into modeling completely unaware of her beauty as if she felt undeserving of the attention.
I suppose that angle may work for some readers, but ... hee. Not me.
In reality, and per the Bachelor show we all participated in as voyeurs, Courtney is exactly as she presented. I wish, as a reader and a viewer, she'd just embrace her inner bitch because it is what it is and it was what it was. She was catty and sassy as often as possible on the show, and attempting to play it off as "stand-up comedian gone bad" is just kind of pathetic.
None of what's written above, however, gives a pass to how Ben Flajnik treated Courtney post-Bachelor unreality. Courtney is definitely giving her side of the story in this painstakingly detailed retelling of events, and there would likely be a difference of opinion were we to compare notes with Ben, but he came off light on integrity on the show itself long before this book was neuron firing. That his behavior as Courtney describes it matches exactly what I would have expected is no coincidence nor is it a shock.
Long story short: I believe the charge that Ben Flajnik went on both Bachelorette AND Bachelor in order to hawk his winery & wine to be true.
As to why Courtney wrote this book? I think she's a big-time narcissist and has long-harbored resentment that she came off as terribly as she did on the show (even though it was by her own hand -- thus is the insanity of narcissism) and can't stand how Ben has talked poorly about her in the press for years. She wants to paint herself in the halo-glow of innocence via this book and point the wicked wand at Ben. It won't work, in my opinion, but she can have fun trying.
The secondary purpose for her writing this book is that I believe she desperately wants to be The Bachelorette, and in my opinion, they should let her do it. The ratings will be sky-effin-high (I'll for sure watch!!!). Make it a celebrity version since the bar has been raised so high for her, and holy crap. Show success.
One thing I really have to admit to - while reading the book I followed along as closely as I could with YouTube clips and media stories / pictures to go along with what she was reporting. It was a really lot of fun. To know the insider knowledge of how terribly bad her relationship was with Ben by the time they got to the Wet Republic pool party was awesome to then run over and look at the pictures and try to see the misery in their faces.
Overall this book was a super-fast read and highly entertaining. It's light and fun - not deep or difficult or cerebral at all. Be ready to feel like you're watching a 10-car pileup in wicked slow motion while eating popcorn and drinking cheap wine (not Ben's).
Disclaimer: I was provided a digital copy of this book in order to read and provide an honest review.
Anyway, this is not a review on Courtney's personality flaws, but the book she wrote highlighting her life thus far which focuses heavily on her time with Ben Flajnik, The Bachelor's 16th bachelor.
A bit of backstory starts us off, namedropping as we go (Jesse Metcalfe, Adrian Grenier, Gerard Butler), where Courtney does her very best to set herself up as an awkward underdog whose ugly duckling difficulties in her teens and early 20s are intended to endear us to her. She stumbled into modeling completely unaware of her beauty as if she felt undeserving of the attention.
I suppose that angle may work for some readers, but ... hee. Not me.
In reality, and per the Bachelor show we all participated in as voyeurs, Courtney is exactly as she presented. I wish, as a reader and a viewer, she'd just embrace her inner bitch because it is what it is and it was what it was. She was catty and sassy as often as possible on the show, and attempting to play it off as "stand-up comedian gone bad" is just kind of pathetic.
None of what's written above, however, gives a pass to how Ben Flajnik treated Courtney post-Bachelor unreality. Courtney is definitely giving her side of the story in this painstakingly detailed retelling of events, and there would likely be a difference of opinion were we to compare notes with Ben, but he came off light on integrity on the show itself long before this book was neuron firing. That his behavior as Courtney describes it matches exactly what I would have expected is no coincidence nor is it a shock.
Long story short: I believe the charge that Ben Flajnik went on both Bachelorette AND Bachelor in order to hawk his winery & wine to be true.
As to why Courtney wrote this book? I think she's a big-time narcissist and has long-harbored resentment that she came off as terribly as she did on the show (even though it was by her own hand -- thus is the insanity of narcissism) and can't stand how Ben has talked poorly about her in the press for years. She wants to paint herself in the halo-glow of innocence via this book and point the wicked wand at Ben. It won't work, in my opinion, but she can have fun trying.
The secondary purpose for her writing this book is that I believe she desperately wants to be The Bachelorette, and in my opinion, they should let her do it. The ratings will be sky-effin-high (I'll for sure watch!!!). Make it a celebrity version since the bar has been raised so high for her, and holy crap. Show success.
One thing I really have to admit to - while reading the book I followed along as closely as I could with YouTube clips and media stories / pictures to go along with what she was reporting. It was a really lot of fun. To know the insider knowledge of how terribly bad her relationship was with Ben by the time they got to the Wet Republic pool party was awesome to then run over and look at the pictures and try to see the misery in their faces.
Overall this book was a super-fast read and highly entertaining. It's light and fun - not deep or difficult or cerebral at all. Be ready to feel like you're watching a 10-car pileup in wicked slow motion while eating popcorn and drinking cheap wine (not Ben's).
Disclaimer: I was provided a digital copy of this book in order to read and provide an honest review.
July 26, 2014
Well, what did I really expect from this book? Courtney comes off as shallow and self-absorbed as what viewers saw on S16 of 'The Bachelor'. First of all someone show this girl what 'poor' really means.
"Growing up I didn't realize how poor our family was, sometimes I'd have to cancel gymnastics because we couldn't afford the dues" - Oh cry me a river, girl please get your head together. That really rubbed me the wrong way.
Aside from a misguided understanding of universal issues, Courtney proceeds to fill us all in, in detail about her love of masterbation (not needed), her many sexploits with celebrities (Which she says she detailed as she wanted to show her love life before deciding to go on The Bachelor...Really it's an excuse to talk herself up and slam men down. I mean she even just HAS to mention going on one date with Reese Whiterspoons now husband, - one date is one date and not classed as 'dating' somebody in my opinion. I think it was another excuse to name drop (Reeses of course).
However the content focused on 'The Bachelor' reality show was good fun and interesting to read- for a fan of reality tv shows (Which unashamedly is why I wanted to read this book).
It's a decent read for those who enjoy The Bachelor series and reality tv.
"Growing up I didn't realize how poor our family was, sometimes I'd have to cancel gymnastics because we couldn't afford the dues" - Oh cry me a river, girl please get your head together. That really rubbed me the wrong way.
Aside from a misguided understanding of universal issues, Courtney proceeds to fill us all in, in detail about her love of masterbation (not needed), her many sexploits with celebrities (Which she says she detailed as she wanted to show her love life before deciding to go on The Bachelor...Really it's an excuse to talk herself up and slam men down. I mean she even just HAS to mention going on one date with Reese Whiterspoons now husband, - one date is one date and not classed as 'dating' somebody in my opinion. I think it was another excuse to name drop (Reeses of course).
However the content focused on 'The Bachelor' reality show was good fun and interesting to read- for a fan of reality tv shows (Which unashamedly is why I wanted to read this book).
It's a decent read for those who enjoy The Bachelor series and reality tv.
October 21, 2014
Leave your brain and good taste at the door. This is the epitome of a frothy, summery beach read -- only with more bite (and quite possibly leaving you in need of a topical cream).
If you're a Bachelor/Bachelorette fan, you will want to read this. But don't admit out loud to anyone that you are, in fact, reading it. 2 words: guilty pleasure.
If you're a Bachelor/Bachelorette fan, you will want to read this. But don't admit out loud to anyone that you are, in fact, reading it. 2 words: guilty pleasure.
June 23, 2014
I didn't plan on reading this book. Full disclosure here - while my sisters organize parties and DVR episodes, I'm not invited. Because I keep asking questions like, "So why do we not like her?"
That said, I did watch the Final Rose episode with my sister and friend. I also saw snippets of Women Tell All. I had also caught snippets of conversations in real life so I knew that Lindzi was the favorite and Courtney was the mean girl. Regardless of those snippets, my biases going into the book were fairly minimal in terms of if I did or did not like any of the contestants.
This is not a Revenge book. It isn't even a book to rehaul Courtney's public image. It was simply the story of Courtney's introduction to boys, a brief lead up to deciding to do The Bachelor, and her perspective of what happened on and off the set. Ultimately, it was a more moving book than I anticipated.
What Courtney does is unveil the secrecy of the show. The girls' cell phones are taken. They don't get contact with outside world. See rest of review here: http://amusingreviews.blogspot.com/20...
That said, I did watch the Final Rose episode with my sister and friend. I also saw snippets of Women Tell All. I had also caught snippets of conversations in real life so I knew that Lindzi was the favorite and Courtney was the mean girl. Regardless of those snippets, my biases going into the book were fairly minimal in terms of if I did or did not like any of the contestants.
This is not a Revenge book. It isn't even a book to rehaul Courtney's public image. It was simply the story of Courtney's introduction to boys, a brief lead up to deciding to do The Bachelor, and her perspective of what happened on and off the set. Ultimately, it was a more moving book than I anticipated.
What Courtney does is unveil the secrecy of the show. The girls' cell phones are taken. They don't get contact with outside world. See rest of review here: http://amusingreviews.blogspot.com/20...
September 19, 2015
I will read any tell-all about Bachelor Nation. I am here for the wrong reasons, but I am here nonetheless.
June 10, 2016
Diary of bad decisions, delusional thinking and bad parents.
June 30, 2017
I'm pretty picky about what I give 5 stars to, but this book is everything I was looking for when I read the description (and what was lacking in Holly Madison's memoir). As someone who has watched The Bachelor for 10+ years and is obsessed with Lifetime's Unreal series, I wanted the details, scandal, and backstories that created this train wreck of a show, and Courtney delivered. Thank you, Courtney, for telling me about tattooed eyeliner, laxative issues on group dates, sex scandals, and pug buying sprees!: "But I wasn't heartbroken because I was rich! The first thing I splurged on was three pugs--Emma, Bubba, and Phoebe--one for me, one for my sister Rachel, and one for my BFF, Sara" (34).
Audience members definitely see a hilarious, critical, contemplative Courtney that is only alluded to on the show, and I don't see why people find it unbelievable. With so many people from reality TV explaining the editing process, it is not hard to imagine how Courtney's words were taken out of context or she was fed hints of what the girls were saying about her to make her on edge. I enjoyed her providing insight into what the girls were really like to live with like seemingly Pollyanna-esque Kasey B., who turned out to be an emotional basket case and super pretentious.
Moreover, people shouldn't doubt the sincerity of someone who provides embarrassing details of personal history (such as not knowing how to shave pubes), emotional break ups where she is cheated on, and issues with her family. These scenes were essential in making Courtney seem real and she definitely has some balls and confidence to include them. Furthermore, her metaphorical balls (because she would've told us if she had them for real; she's that kind of girl) are increased by the fact that she gives unappealing descriptions of the modeling world and the illustrious Bachelor franchise that would probably not hesitate to sue if need be.
I enjoyed Courtney's pre-Bachelor life as much as her post and could really identify with some of the universal issues she had when dating: cheaters, moochers, etc. Courtney doesn't wallow in her pain, but does convey that she's been hurt and endearingly remains hopefully for her future. She did, however, ruin my continued middle school influence crush on Adrian Grenier forever (bush shots? no thanks...)
She also shed comic light on some of the misunderstood girls from her season. Jaclyn, for instance, came off as a shallow boozehound on the series (which she kinda was), but the humor she added to the show was golden: "I"m only gonna burn like ten calories [. . .] But I can't wait to watch TV!" I feel you, girl. TV is the guiding star of my existence (I say as I type a book review).
The realest parts, though, were the ones with Ben. It really becomes evident how two faced people can be and how the media can make them appear something that they aren't. From Ben's obsession with his rude "Queen of Beige" mother, his obsession with girls' breast sizes, his plugs for a winery he didn't even own, and he desire to live like an undergrad frat boy, Courtney attempted to be tolerant, committed, and loyal. It's a shame she had to endure what she did, especially when her career suffered greatly, so I think all fans should ban together and support her via this book (which Ben said she'd never succeed at). I think, by the end, you and even Chris Harrison would give an approving nod to the conclusion.
I was seriously laughing out loud (and don't find much funny), so try it!
Audience members definitely see a hilarious, critical, contemplative Courtney that is only alluded to on the show, and I don't see why people find it unbelievable. With so many people from reality TV explaining the editing process, it is not hard to imagine how Courtney's words were taken out of context or she was fed hints of what the girls were saying about her to make her on edge. I enjoyed her providing insight into what the girls were really like to live with like seemingly Pollyanna-esque Kasey B., who turned out to be an emotional basket case and super pretentious.
Moreover, people shouldn't doubt the sincerity of someone who provides embarrassing details of personal history (such as not knowing how to shave pubes), emotional break ups where she is cheated on, and issues with her family. These scenes were essential in making Courtney seem real and she definitely has some balls and confidence to include them. Furthermore, her metaphorical balls (because she would've told us if she had them for real; she's that kind of girl) are increased by the fact that she gives unappealing descriptions of the modeling world and the illustrious Bachelor franchise that would probably not hesitate to sue if need be.
I enjoyed Courtney's pre-Bachelor life as much as her post and could really identify with some of the universal issues she had when dating: cheaters, moochers, etc. Courtney doesn't wallow in her pain, but does convey that she's been hurt and endearingly remains hopefully for her future. She did, however, ruin my continued middle school influence crush on Adrian Grenier forever (bush shots? no thanks...)
She also shed comic light on some of the misunderstood girls from her season. Jaclyn, for instance, came off as a shallow boozehound on the series (which she kinda was), but the humor she added to the show was golden: "I"m only gonna burn like ten calories [. . .] But I can't wait to watch TV!" I feel you, girl. TV is the guiding star of my existence (I say as I type a book review).
The realest parts, though, were the ones with Ben. It really becomes evident how two faced people can be and how the media can make them appear something that they aren't. From Ben's obsession with his rude "Queen of Beige" mother, his obsession with girls' breast sizes, his plugs for a winery he didn't even own, and he desire to live like an undergrad frat boy, Courtney attempted to be tolerant, committed, and loyal. It's a shame she had to endure what she did, especially when her career suffered greatly, so I think all fans should ban together and support her via this book (which Ben said she'd never succeed at). I think, by the end, you and even Chris Harrison would give an approving nod to the conclusion.
I was seriously laughing out loud (and don't find much funny), so try it!
August 2, 2014
As a huge bachelor fan, I could not resist reading this book even though I was sceptical and not a fan of Courtney Robertson. She has changed my view of her. If I can describe her in two words it would be FUNNY and TRUTHFUL! I also loved reading about what happens behind the scenes of the reality programme. At the end of the day, all she wanted was somebody to respect and love her for what she is. Big ups to Courtney.
July 20, 2015
I almost want to give this four stars for how engaging she is, and how I laughed out loud more times than I did during Jim Gaffigan's and Amy Poehler's books, combined. In fact, oh fuck it, four stars. Gooooooodbye credibility.
August 5, 2016
Oh how entertaining this was.
This has to be one of the most ridiculous shows in the history of television, but it's such a guilty a pleasure. I remember watching this season and hating on this chick - my mother and I were relentless, along with the rest of the viewers.
When I heard she wrote this book, I was so amused if only because she seemed like the type that would reveal everything. And she did! Unlike other recent D-list celebrities that have written their memoirs and pretending they would write about their shows (namely, everyone from the original 90210), she didn't hold back in selling out everyone she ever dated. She gave all the juicy details - which I am guessing are partially true - and it was hilariously written.
Some highlights:
Jesse Metcalfe - Apparently the dude is an ego maniac and much like his character from John Tucker Must Die.
Adrian Grenier - Uhhh I never wondered about his penis size, but uhh, thanks?
Gerard Butler - He supposedly sleeps with anything pretty. Interesting.
Trista Sutter - She was not portrayed well in this. She comes off super catty and vicious - and since much of what she said was actually posted by her person, she has nobody to blame for that but herself.
Lindzi Cox - I always knew I liked her.
Ashley and JP - They give me a toothache with all their sweetness.
-----
Look, there are three sides to every story: yours, mine, and the truth. This was a nasty account of many of the men she has dated and while I doubt all of it is true, I imagine some of it is. Ben must be fuming because this makes him come off in an awful light and I imagine superfans that still harbor warm feelings over him will be left stewing.
Let me say it again: Courtney is REALLY mean to Ben in this. She claims he spent their entire relationship cutting her down? Well then she certainly got even in this.
I would warn everyone to take this with a grain of salt, but it's super funny. She definitely didn't paint herself in the best of light and while my impression of her isn't as harsh as before, it's not exactly nice either. I do like that she talked about what made her interesting and what the fans would actually care about - the show. She spent a chapter discussing growing up, her relationships in Hollywood, and why she chose to do The Bachelor. I didn't mind that, and I liked that the rest of the book focused on the show. That's why any fans would want to read it. So if you watched the season, you'll likely enjoy this book.
This has to be one of the most ridiculous shows in the history of television, but it's such a guilty a pleasure. I remember watching this season and hating on this chick - my mother and I were relentless, along with the rest of the viewers.
When I heard she wrote this book, I was so amused if only because she seemed like the type that would reveal everything. And she did! Unlike other recent D-list celebrities that have written their memoirs and pretending they would write about their shows (namely, everyone from the original 90210), she didn't hold back in selling out everyone she ever dated. She gave all the juicy details - which I am guessing are partially true - and it was hilariously written.
Some highlights:
Jesse Metcalfe - Apparently the dude is an ego maniac and much like his character from John Tucker Must Die.
Adrian Grenier - Uhhh I never wondered about his penis size, but uhh, thanks?
Gerard Butler - He supposedly sleeps with anything pretty. Interesting.
Trista Sutter - She was not portrayed well in this. She comes off super catty and vicious - and since much of what she said was actually posted by her person, she has nobody to blame for that but herself.
Lindzi Cox - I always knew I liked her.
Ashley and JP - They give me a toothache with all their sweetness.
-----
Look, there are three sides to every story: yours, mine, and the truth. This was a nasty account of many of the men she has dated and while I doubt all of it is true, I imagine some of it is. Ben must be fuming because this makes him come off in an awful light and I imagine superfans that still harbor warm feelings over him will be left stewing.
Let me say it again: Courtney is REALLY mean to Ben in this. She claims he spent their entire relationship cutting her down? Well then she certainly got even in this.
I would warn everyone to take this with a grain of salt, but it's super funny. She definitely didn't paint herself in the best of light and while my impression of her isn't as harsh as before, it's not exactly nice either. I do like that she talked about what made her interesting and what the fans would actually care about - the show. She spent a chapter discussing growing up, her relationships in Hollywood, and why she chose to do The Bachelor. I didn't mind that, and I liked that the rest of the book focused on the show. That's why any fans would want to read it. So if you watched the season, you'll likely enjoy this book.
December 4, 2016
I was pleasantly surprised by this read. I liked how the book traces Courtney's entire "Bachelor" journey from the interview to the end of her relationship with Ben. Courtney looked back on her life with a critical and analytical lens, making this memoir rather insightful. In regards to the writing, Courtney and Deb included lists along the way to break up the narrative and make the reader laugh. The tone was humorous and enjoyable - like watching the show.
Also, I will note, the celebrity name dropping worked because Courtney summarized all of her pre-Bachelor relationships and how she ended up on the show. Normally, something like that would have the potential to annoy/bother me, but the manner in which she incorporated the names was organic.
If you want a behind-the-scenes look at "The Bachelor," READ THIS BOOK! Courtney goes into great detail about the other contestants, the process, editing, and more. This provided a new level of "Bachelor" knowledge.
Also, I will note, the celebrity name dropping worked because Courtney summarized all of her pre-Bachelor relationships and how she ended up on the show. Normally, something like that would have the potential to annoy/bother me, but the manner in which she incorporated the names was organic.
If you want a behind-the-scenes look at "The Bachelor," READ THIS BOOK! Courtney goes into great detail about the other contestants, the process, editing, and more. This provided a new level of "Bachelor" knowledge.
February 22, 2020
“It's funny how you repeat behavior, even when you know it's bad for you, because it's the only thing you know. It's like a comfortable misery.”
― Courtney Robertson, I Didn't Come Here to Make Friends: Confessions of a Reality Show Villain
DNF.
I do not know how I got sucked into this one..the point is that I did.
But it was just to..for lack of a better term..whiny. I happen to be a fan of The Bachelor and thought this might be wittier then it was. It was the first time I ever read anything a former contestant wrote.
]
Not for me.
― Courtney Robertson, I Didn't Come Here to Make Friends: Confessions of a Reality Show Villain
DNF.
I do not know how I got sucked into this one..the point is that I did.
But it was just to..for lack of a better term..whiny. I happen to be a fan of The Bachelor and thought this might be wittier then it was. It was the first time I ever read anything a former contestant wrote.
]
Not for me.
June 5, 2014
I read it in 2 days, a sure way to tell I enjoyed the book. It was an interesting and fun read and I think any fan of the Bachelor/Bachelorette would love it. Yes, even though I read RealitySteve this book revealed a lot more.
Having said that, I don't know what is the reason Courtney wrote the book. Get back at Ben? Get 15 more minutes in the spotlight? Needed the cash? If it's the 3rd reason, then more power to her. However, I don't feel she has redeemed herself in this book. To me she comes across as not a very nice person, and I will admit that it also made me a little sad, reading how a beautiful girl handles herself and how she allows men to treat her. This book exposed me to the culture of the beautiful and famous, people with no values whatsoever who are so obsessed with themselves. Not a pretty sight.
This is why I rate the book 4 stars. It was a lot of fun reading all the inside information about the show, but without sounding like a prude, it really did pain me to read how these people treat themselves and others.
Having said that, I don't know what is the reason Courtney wrote the book. Get back at Ben? Get 15 more minutes in the spotlight? Needed the cash? If it's the 3rd reason, then more power to her. However, I don't feel she has redeemed herself in this book. To me she comes across as not a very nice person, and I will admit that it also made me a little sad, reading how a beautiful girl handles herself and how she allows men to treat her. This book exposed me to the culture of the beautiful and famous, people with no values whatsoever who are so obsessed with themselves. Not a pretty sight.
This is why I rate the book 4 stars. It was a lot of fun reading all the inside information about the show, but without sounding like a prude, it really did pain me to read how these people treat themselves and others.
March 24, 2020
2.5
I gotta be honest. This book was one big ol humble brag. Only it wasn’t all that humble. I wish that the quality of writing was amped up a bit because it was a little rough at times for me. The content was pretty good, the most interesting parts being the behind the scenes of the bachelor bits. And Courtney herself was generally likable coming off as relatively down to earth and self-aware. Overall an easy three hour read for a specific bachelor loving audience.
I gotta be honest. This book was one big ol humble brag. Only it wasn’t all that humble. I wish that the quality of writing was amped up a bit because it was a little rough at times for me. The content was pretty good, the most interesting parts being the behind the scenes of the bachelor bits. And Courtney herself was generally likable coming off as relatively down to earth and self-aware. Overall an easy three hour read for a specific bachelor loving audience.
June 25, 2014
Definitely a guilty pleasure but I wanted my mind to be changed about how I perceived Courtney. Unfortunately, she is the same girl from the show. This book was nothing but her being a bully again.
November 18, 2014
It was better than I thought it would be. Occasionally obnoxious, but a decent behind the scenes look at a reality dating show, which is the only reason I read it.
Read
June 29, 2025As a bachelor fan during this era, I loved every juicy detail. But a lot of it is dated…
1. One of Arie’s kissing tips is never ask permission??? He says never ask “can I kiss you” HUH???
2. This may have been intentional to keep the “villain” edit but how she spoke, described and blatantly makes fun of women still was shocking. A lot you just wouldn’t be able to say today either. Like very early 2000s disses if that makes sense? (Fat/skinny shaming, an era when having an ass was still a diss, using offensive phrases like “gypsing around”, there are so many more I could name)
2.5. You can really tell this was written during a “different
time” it’s a shame but also jarring how bad the early
2000s really were
3. Fuck Ben
1. One of Arie’s kissing tips is never ask permission??? He says never ask “can I kiss you” HUH???
2. This may have been intentional to keep the “villain” edit but how she spoke, described and blatantly makes fun of women still was shocking. A lot you just wouldn’t be able to say today either. Like very early 2000s disses if that makes sense? (Fat/skinny shaming, an era when having an ass was still a diss, using offensive phrases like “gypsing around”, there are so many more I could name)
2.5. You can really tell this was written during a “different
time” it’s a shame but also jarring how bad the early
2000s really were
3. Fuck Ben
September 6, 2014
Kindle library e-book. True Confessions: The Bachelor/Bachelorette Series is one of my most embarrassing guilty pleasures. It's about as "real" as any reality series, which is to say, while not completely scripted many of the ridiculous things that happen while filming are contrived and characters are built upon very exaggerated foibles and flaws of the cast. Even knowing all this, I am still mostly addicted to this OTT ridiculous series and the rare happy endings such as with my very favorite couple Ashley and JP are the ultimate payoff.
I was one of the Bach fans who did not love Ben and I was not looking forward to his season. And, neither here nor there, but I think he lied to Courtney when he claimed he slept with Ashley - I just do not believe it. Needless to say, I was never a fan of Courtney, who to me, seemed like an OTT really bad actress. The fact that they were engaged for a year really surprised me and I was actually shocked at their After the Final Rose session as it was the first time, she seemed real and not like a cartoon character of herself.
So I debated whether curiosity would win over my ambivalence about Courtney, whom I knew would trash the other girls on her season, but when I saw that I could read the book for free I could not resist. True to form, Courtney tells it like it is, for good and ill. She is, like many people, a bit self-centered and not the least bit self-censored. And, surprise, surprise. That mostly turns out to be a good thing and made for an entertaining, if sometimes kinda trashy (in the best way though, really) read.
This book isn't for everybody, by a long shot, and I'm glad I didn't have to make a monetary investment into it, but if you are a bachfan, this is a really fun read. And I found myself feeling a bit more sympathetic to Courtney and appreciative that she let's it all hang out, blemishes and all.
I was one of the Bach fans who did not love Ben and I was not looking forward to his season. And, neither here nor there, but I think he lied to Courtney when he claimed he slept with Ashley - I just do not believe it. Needless to say, I was never a fan of Courtney, who to me, seemed like an OTT really bad actress. The fact that they were engaged for a year really surprised me and I was actually shocked at their After the Final Rose session as it was the first time, she seemed real and not like a cartoon character of herself.
So I debated whether curiosity would win over my ambivalence about Courtney, whom I knew would trash the other girls on her season, but when I saw that I could read the book for free I could not resist. True to form, Courtney tells it like it is, for good and ill. She is, like many people, a bit self-centered and not the least bit self-censored. And, surprise, surprise. That mostly turns out to be a good thing and made for an entertaining, if sometimes kinda trashy (in the best way though, really) read.
This book isn't for everybody, by a long shot, and I'm glad I didn't have to make a monetary investment into it, but if you are a bachfan, this is a really fun read. And I found myself feeling a bit more sympathetic to Courtney and appreciative that she let's it all hang out, blemishes and all.
July 3, 2014
I read a lot of books and have never written a review on any. I watched Ben and Courtney's season and the ladies on the show for the most part were catty and immature. I have to admit I was not a huge fan of Courtney until toward the end of the show and was really hoping it would work for her and Ben. Courtney is right though you don't go on a show like that to make friends with everyone. It seems that maybe Courtney's humor and personality were misunderstood due in most part to the other ladies being jealous of her and not getting to know her. As for what we saw on TV it seems the Bachelor is all about editing. After watching Juan Pablo's show and how him and Nikki were treated I've stopped watching. I think Courtney wrote a great book which explained a lot about her and her relationships. It doesn't matter how pretty you are on the outside everyone has insecurities. She has put up with a lot of things in her relationships most wouldn't. She just wants to be loved...don't we all! I read her book in less than a day and it kept me interested the whole way through. I wish her the best in future and I hope you find your "one". Kudos Courtney!!!
February 26, 2016
Not gonna lie, I'm fascinated by behind-the-scenes stuff about the Bachelor. The best part of the show for me is trying to identify manipulation and creative editing. This book got into great detail about the structure of the show behind the camera, and I ate it up. It also got into a lot of juicy tidbits about what wasn't shown on the screen, and although I kind of ate that up, too, I took it with a grain of salt. This is one woman's biased version of the story, although I certainly think that she has the right to tell her side of it after the way she was raked through the coals on the show and in the press. She's not a cardboard cutout villain, she's a real person with good and bad qualities, and this book did have the ring of truth about her own experience of events, though there are two sides to every story.
July 13, 2014
I remember watching Ben's season of the Bachelor and, like most people, being convinced Courtney was a terrible awful person. Of course we all know editing plays a big role in those perceptions so I was curious to hear her side of the story. This was a very engaging read and very interesting to get the real scoop. The writing style is very conversational and peppered with jokes. If you're a fan of the Bachelor/ette franchise you'll enjoy getting your fix in book form!
April 6, 2016
I really liked the book, I didn't realize how much went into making the bachelor and how much time they really didn't spend with each other you cant possibly get to know someone and fall in love with them that fast.I feel like Courtney did get a bad rap when she was on there and Ben is an ass I don't believe he had any feelings for her at all. She shouldn't have stayed with him he mad a fool of her so shame on you Ben.
May 20, 2016
3.5 stars
October 23, 2023
As a Bachelor fan, this is a must read. Courtney was the OG in terms of villainy and the first to tell ALL after the show. Is it a great book— it’s okay, but it’s fun. It also convinced me never to apply to this show.
Ben also went on the show twice to promote his winery, was a terrible fiancé, and cheated on her the whole time. Courtney didn’t own up to everything she did or reflect on her actions very much— but Ben was the true villain here.
Ben also went on the show twice to promote his winery, was a terrible fiancé, and cheated on her the whole time. Courtney didn’t own up to everything she did or reflect on her actions very much— but Ben was the true villain here.
August 21, 2016
Review also found at http://kristineandterri.blogspot.ca/2...
Ok, I admit it. You found me out. The Batchelor franchise is my guilty pleasure, any of them be it Bachelor, Bachelorette or Bachelor in Paradise. I know, I know. How can a professional business woman be drawn in to such nonsense. I say easy, if you want the easiest way to see a sociological experiment of people's behavior, this has got to be it.
While I am not one to want to extend any of the participants of this shows 15 seconds of fame, I couldn't help but pick this up to see if I could learn any behind the scenes information about how the show is produced. This read was to me the same as being stuck in a line at the grocery store. I never mind because I grab the gossip rags and catch up on the latest rumours while I wait.
This is the biography of Courtney Robertson who was the winner of the 16th season of the show. For fans of the show, she was the one that everyone hated. Myself included, to a certain extent. I did not like her and didn't want her to win but on the flip side, she cracked me up and I didn't want her to leave. She made things interesting and as many people should always know, these shows are edited so much in order to spin things a certain way that you never know what is really true in the correct context. For this reason I wanted to see what she had to say.
The beginning of the story was total fluff. I didn't care, nor do I think anyone else does, about Courtney's sexual history prior to the Bachelor. I only wanted to know what happened behind the scenes of the show. Things such as what really happened in the ocean when they went skinny dipping. This does get answered by the way. For this Courtney loses points to think that people might actually care how she spent her high school years or how many people she slept with. I also didn't care about the name dropping that occurred in the story
The story picks up when it starts talking about the show. We hear Courtney's side of what happened with the other girls in the house. She admits that she was a bitch to some of them. This scored her a couple of points back since she owned her mistakes. What we did see, should we choose to believe, is that the other girls were not as squeaky clean and innocent as they were portrayed. I had suspected this. Going back to my experiment comment, I don't care how nice you are, if you are in a competition in which there is only one winner and have to live with all of your competitors, the worst traits in everyone will come out. I believe that the girls were nasty to Courtney and tried to make her life miserable. I also believe as she admits to some that she was just as nasty back.
This story also dives in to what happened after the engagement ring was given and the couple went back to "real life". If everything Courtney says about Ben is true, I can say I knew it, he was not in it for the right reasons. Then again, how many season have there been so far, 20+? I would say less than 5 were in it for the right reasons. I also believe her take on this part of the relationship. The reason is because she didn't seem to go too far in trashing Ben. She told it from her aspect of the relationship and her needs. I feel she actually went easy on him.
As I normally don't read true stories, I don't really know how to rate this. Who am I to judge Courtney for her life decisions? I don't know her and have never walked in her shoes. I wanted to read this due to a curiosity of what she had to say. While the writing seemed underdeveloped in many spots and some thoughts never finished or returned to when it was promised, I was still entertained. My expectations were never for a literary masterpiece and because of that my expectation were met. So on that note, I have no choice but to rate the book according to my expectations which were honestly set quite low. This story is getting a very guilty 4 stars because it filled by gossip rag, quasi celebrity curiosity.
Ok, I admit it. You found me out. The Batchelor franchise is my guilty pleasure, any of them be it Bachelor, Bachelorette or Bachelor in Paradise. I know, I know. How can a professional business woman be drawn in to such nonsense. I say easy, if you want the easiest way to see a sociological experiment of people's behavior, this has got to be it.
While I am not one to want to extend any of the participants of this shows 15 seconds of fame, I couldn't help but pick this up to see if I could learn any behind the scenes information about how the show is produced. This read was to me the same as being stuck in a line at the grocery store. I never mind because I grab the gossip rags and catch up on the latest rumours while I wait.
This is the biography of Courtney Robertson who was the winner of the 16th season of the show. For fans of the show, she was the one that everyone hated. Myself included, to a certain extent. I did not like her and didn't want her to win but on the flip side, she cracked me up and I didn't want her to leave. She made things interesting and as many people should always know, these shows are edited so much in order to spin things a certain way that you never know what is really true in the correct context. For this reason I wanted to see what she had to say.
The beginning of the story was total fluff. I didn't care, nor do I think anyone else does, about Courtney's sexual history prior to the Bachelor. I only wanted to know what happened behind the scenes of the show. Things such as what really happened in the ocean when they went skinny dipping. This does get answered by the way. For this Courtney loses points to think that people might actually care how she spent her high school years or how many people she slept with. I also didn't care about the name dropping that occurred in the story
The story picks up when it starts talking about the show. We hear Courtney's side of what happened with the other girls in the house. She admits that she was a bitch to some of them. This scored her a couple of points back since she owned her mistakes. What we did see, should we choose to believe, is that the other girls were not as squeaky clean and innocent as they were portrayed. I had suspected this. Going back to my experiment comment, I don't care how nice you are, if you are in a competition in which there is only one winner and have to live with all of your competitors, the worst traits in everyone will come out. I believe that the girls were nasty to Courtney and tried to make her life miserable. I also believe as she admits to some that she was just as nasty back.
This story also dives in to what happened after the engagement ring was given and the couple went back to "real life". If everything Courtney says about Ben is true, I can say I knew it, he was not in it for the right reasons. Then again, how many season have there been so far, 20+? I would say less than 5 were in it for the right reasons. I also believe her take on this part of the relationship. The reason is because she didn't seem to go too far in trashing Ben. She told it from her aspect of the relationship and her needs. I feel she actually went easy on him.
As I normally don't read true stories, I don't really know how to rate this. Who am I to judge Courtney for her life decisions? I don't know her and have never walked in her shoes. I wanted to read this due to a curiosity of what she had to say. While the writing seemed underdeveloped in many spots and some thoughts never finished or returned to when it was promised, I was still entertained. My expectations were never for a literary masterpiece and because of that my expectation were met. So on that note, I have no choice but to rate the book according to my expectations which were honestly set quite low. This story is getting a very guilty 4 stars because it filled by gossip rag, quasi celebrity curiosity.
October 21, 2014
Women have served all these centuries as looking glasses possessing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of man at twice its natural size. ~ Virginia Woolf (1882-1941) ~
In this exciting, fascinating, and highly entertaining "I Didn't Come Here To Make Friends: Confessions of A Reality Show Villain" Courtney Robertson (CR) dishes truthfully about her experience of falling in love with bachelor Ben Flajnik (BF) on the 16th season of the Bachelor reality TV series, also the before the show, the application, screening process, during the show, behind the scenes happenings, following the show, and beyond.
CR was raised in Scottsdale, AZ in a loving stable family. Her mother, explained her young daughters that men were "pigs" and they would have to be extra careful. CR was a single, successful, beautiful model, the men she had been involved with didn't want to get married. CR didn't expect to be chosen to be on "The Bachelor", and was really surprised to be selected, and at the goings-on on behind the scenes of the show. The contestants were encouraged to become friends. CR was taken aback over this concept in the first place, weren't they all in a competition for BF heart? CR had already fallen emotionally for him, and it was painful to imagine other women with him. There were naturally jealousies, hostilities, cat fights, that occurred considering the circumstances. CR kept her distance, and this was held against her, not only by BF (who clearly should have been more supportive), she was cruelly, viscously, bashed/attacked by some of other contestants in the final airings of the show, and was left defenseless, obviously for entertainment value.
This is a must read book for anyone contemplating participating in reality TV. The behind the scenes are particularly telling: BF didn't seem to want to marry after the show ended. He seemed rejecting, not wanting to be alone with her, sabotaging their engagement. CR was seriously in love, and truly wanted to marry him. BF, a man who once lived in a small condo with three other men and one bathroom, usually traveled with an entourage, was publically photographed with other women during their engagement, greatly interested in profiting/publicity from the show, invited his friends for a lavish restaurant meal/drinks and (cheaply) expected CR to pay half the tab, broke off their engagement by phone... raising multiple red flags!
To his credit, he did her a huge favor by not going through with the wedding. Although CR was a strong independent woman, it was very sad to see her heart/soul crushed by this man. There were many excellent photos included.
In this exciting, fascinating, and highly entertaining "I Didn't Come Here To Make Friends: Confessions of A Reality Show Villain" Courtney Robertson (CR) dishes truthfully about her experience of falling in love with bachelor Ben Flajnik (BF) on the 16th season of the Bachelor reality TV series, also the before the show, the application, screening process, during the show, behind the scenes happenings, following the show, and beyond.
CR was raised in Scottsdale, AZ in a loving stable family. Her mother, explained her young daughters that men were "pigs" and they would have to be extra careful. CR was a single, successful, beautiful model, the men she had been involved with didn't want to get married. CR didn't expect to be chosen to be on "The Bachelor", and was really surprised to be selected, and at the goings-on on behind the scenes of the show. The contestants were encouraged to become friends. CR was taken aback over this concept in the first place, weren't they all in a competition for BF heart? CR had already fallen emotionally for him, and it was painful to imagine other women with him. There were naturally jealousies, hostilities, cat fights, that occurred considering the circumstances. CR kept her distance, and this was held against her, not only by BF (who clearly should have been more supportive), she was cruelly, viscously, bashed/attacked by some of other contestants in the final airings of the show, and was left defenseless, obviously for entertainment value.
This is a must read book for anyone contemplating participating in reality TV. The behind the scenes are particularly telling: BF didn't seem to want to marry after the show ended. He seemed rejecting, not wanting to be alone with her, sabotaging their engagement. CR was seriously in love, and truly wanted to marry him. BF, a man who once lived in a small condo with three other men and one bathroom, usually traveled with an entourage, was publically photographed with other women during their engagement, greatly interested in profiting/publicity from the show, invited his friends for a lavish restaurant meal/drinks and (cheaply) expected CR to pay half the tab, broke off their engagement by phone... raising multiple red flags!
To his credit, he did her a huge favor by not going through with the wedding. Although CR was a strong independent woman, it was very sad to see her heart/soul crushed by this man. There were many excellent photos included.
July 27, 2014
I read this book not expecting to like it nearly as much as I did, and dare I say even felt a bit inspired by Courtney's journey. I mean if she can overcome being the most hated contestant in Bachelor history well....
Regardless if Courtney wrote this book to gain sympathy, I did sympathize with her. We've all made mistakes and there are a lot of women out there who are/have been nasty b*tches to other women (the other contestants on her season included). I do not believe she deserved to be treated as harshly as she was by the American public, her fellow contestants and especially her own fiancé. I could sense a vulnerability reading her relationship with Ben. Seemed she was almost trapped with the paparazzi and the public having a very particular view of her.
There are definitely two sides to every story. I love The Bachelor and Season 16 was my fav because of all the drama. The insider tie-bits and reliving the experience through her eyes was VERY interesting. Almost felt like I was reading The Hunger Games it was so vicious lol. Also loved the blurbs from other members of Bachelor Nation sprinkled throughout the book.
Love her or hate her, I felt this book was very interesting and read it in 3 days. I want her to write another one!!
Regardless if Courtney wrote this book to gain sympathy, I did sympathize with her. We've all made mistakes and there are a lot of women out there who are/have been nasty b*tches to other women (the other contestants on her season included). I do not believe she deserved to be treated as harshly as she was by the American public, her fellow contestants and especially her own fiancé. I could sense a vulnerability reading her relationship with Ben. Seemed she was almost trapped with the paparazzi and the public having a very particular view of her.
There are definitely two sides to every story. I love The Bachelor and Season 16 was my fav because of all the drama. The insider tie-bits and reliving the experience through her eyes was VERY interesting. Almost felt like I was reading The Hunger Games it was so vicious lol. Also loved the blurbs from other members of Bachelor Nation sprinkled throughout the book.
Love her or hate her, I felt this book was very interesting and read it in 3 days. I want her to write another one!!
January 3, 2015
Going into this, I didn't expect a well written auto-biography. As predicted Courtney's journal-style tell all, was exactly what I expected. She was the so called "bad girl" chosen by Ben in The Bachelor. She starts with her childhood and no one is safe. She throws everyone under the bus, including herself. This is a total train wreck, but a must read for all of us "guilty pleasure" Bachelor fans. The inside scoop on the show is worth picking up the book. I actually found my myself Youtubing her season. She contradicts herself throughout the book, tries to convince us she was sarcastic vs mean (even though she was right on many occasions) but overall, she's just another sad girl looking for love.
July 12, 2015
This was a super quick read. I had to really think back to who the people were in her season on The Bachelor, but once I remembered them, it was interesting to read about the dynamics in the house from Courtney's point of view. I was not a fan of Ben on this season, and what Courtney wrote just confirmed what I thought.
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