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The Complete Idiot's Guide to Saying Goodbye: Stories
“After reading The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Saying Goodbye I felt in equal parts enthralled and unnerved. Arzate’s stories are stark, depressing, thought-provoking, and hilarious.” - Brian Whitney (Author of Raping the Gods.)
A house with cancer, a killer soda, an unusual church, strange TV shows, the true story of the creation of the Universe. All this and more is contained in this debut collection of stories from the amazing mind of Ben Arzate.
A house with cancer, a killer soda, an unusual church, strange TV shows, the true story of the creation of the Universe. All this and more is contained in this debut collection of stories from the amazing mind of Ben Arzate.
126 pages, Paperback
First published September 18, 2018
About the author
Ben Arzate
33 books139 followersBen Arzate writes and lives life. Sometimes he forgets to do the latter.
Contact: benarz13(at)gmail(dot)com
Contact: benarz13(at)gmail(dot)com
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
May 30, 2019
The short stories in this collection are, in turn, whimsical, bizarre and sometimes disturbing. They are presented in a matter of fact style, which makes them all the more unique. I am looking forward to reading more of Ben Arzate's work.
June 25, 2021
This book is the kind of weird that I know will haunt me for some time.
I need to sit down. My head is full of strangeness.
5 stars
I need to sit down. My head is full of strangeness.
5 stars
January 26, 2019
This collection reminded me of a tamer Douglas Hackle, like this was surrealism light.
Some of the ideas were really out there, and when it comes to short stories, outside-the-box premises are what keep me reading. There was enough strange and surreal here to keep me going, but I felt like some of the ideas deserved more attention. The house with cancer in particular. There was a longer narrative waiting to happen there, and I would have devoured that.
Then there were other stories that seemed to be more like incidents or happenings rather than stories, like The Arranged Marriage. But I have seen a lot of stuff like this come out of the alt lit scene, and I know there’s a market for it.
Overall there was a nice balance of different stories here, enough to keep me happy. If you’re into the surreal, or alt lit, you’ll probably get a kick out of this one. This book is indicative of the author’s potential, of which there is a great deal.
Some of the ideas were really out there, and when it comes to short stories, outside-the-box premises are what keep me reading. There was enough strange and surreal here to keep me going, but I felt like some of the ideas deserved more attention. The house with cancer in particular. There was a longer narrative waiting to happen there, and I would have devoured that.
Then there were other stories that seemed to be more like incidents or happenings rather than stories, like The Arranged Marriage. But I have seen a lot of stuff like this come out of the alt lit scene, and I know there’s a market for it.
Overall there was a nice balance of different stories here, enough to keep me happy. If you’re into the surreal, or alt lit, you’ll probably get a kick out of this one. This book is indicative of the author’s potential, of which there is a great deal.
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Book trailer
NihilismRevised
Review by Brandon Adamson at Stepkid
Review by Anita Dalton at Odd Things Considered
Review by Charlie Ceates at Cultured Vultures
Review by Zakary McGaha at Silent Motorist Media
Review by Daulton Dickey at Lost in the Funhouse
Interview on Bizzong!
Paperback
Kindle
Godless
First Edition
Buy from Amazon
Book trailer
NihilismRevised
Review by Brandon Adamson at Stepkid
Review by Anita Dalton at Odd Things Considered
Review by Charlie Ceates at Cultured Vultures
Review by Zakary McGaha at Silent Motorist Media
Review by Daulton Dickey at Lost in the Funhouse
Interview on Bizzong!
October 9, 2018
Holy crap, did I enjoy this book.
Ben Arzate is a name that I've been coming across quite a bit this past year. This first time was in May, when I story I wrote was named the runner up a flash fiction writing contest. Arzate's story finished first, and boy did it deserve to.
Over this summer I periodically saw book reviews he'd written come up in my newsfeed, and then in August I saw that he has a story placed in an upcoming collection called Fucked Up Stories To Read In The Daylight, which I've also got a story in as well. Finally deciding to see what this guy was all about, I got a hold of a copy of his poetry chapbook a few weeks ago and loved it.
I came into this collection of stories not really sure what to expect, having not read any prose fiction from Arzate other than that one flash story in May (which unfortunately wasn't included in this collection), but I connected with this book right from the very first page.
It's a collection of bizarro stories (mostly flash) that walk the line between absurdity and realism in ways that remind me a lot of writers like Richard Brautigan, D. Harlan Wilson and Violet LeVoit. The stories mostly go for the funny bone, but they can be chilling and emotional as well. If you dig bizarro, weirdness or even just offbeat humor, you'll dig this book.
Ben Arzate is a name that I've been coming across quite a bit this past year. This first time was in May, when I story I wrote was named the runner up a flash fiction writing contest. Arzate's story finished first, and boy did it deserve to.
Over this summer I periodically saw book reviews he'd written come up in my newsfeed, and then in August I saw that he has a story placed in an upcoming collection called Fucked Up Stories To Read In The Daylight, which I've also got a story in as well. Finally deciding to see what this guy was all about, I got a hold of a copy of his poetry chapbook a few weeks ago and loved it.
I came into this collection of stories not really sure what to expect, having not read any prose fiction from Arzate other than that one flash story in May (which unfortunately wasn't included in this collection), but I connected with this book right from the very first page.
It's a collection of bizarro stories (mostly flash) that walk the line between absurdity and realism in ways that remind me a lot of writers like Richard Brautigan, D. Harlan Wilson and Violet LeVoit. The stories mostly go for the funny bone, but they can be chilling and emotional as well. If you dig bizarro, weirdness or even just offbeat humor, you'll dig this book.
October 22, 2018
I really like this collection because it is filled with the kind of strange little stories that have made me a fan of Hank Kirton, Jon Konrath, and Andersen Prunty. These stories cover a lot of literary and psychological ground in very few words – 33 stories in 104 pages of text. I find such stories remarkably detailed because their spare nature causes me to fill in any blanks with my own life, sort of modifying them to fit my experiences. I do that with everything I read, to an extent, but it’s all the easier when writers like Arzate give me a perfect framework upon which to build my own literary reaction.
Most of these stories are flash fiction, more along the lines of vignettes. A few of the stories are longer form, like “Meth-Lab Nursery,” which sadly does exactly what is indicated in the title, and “The Arranged Marriage,” a strange story about a young couple forced to marry by their intrusive parents. The couple eventually find a way out of their predicament when they meet the girl’s ex-boyfriend, who works for a side show because he has what sounds like a cinematic form of progeria. We also get snippets of the miserable, post-apocalyptic, life of Alex, a protagonist who, in the course of three stories, gets coffee at a terrifying cafe located in an utter hellscape, is forced to fetch his mail from a locked cuckoo clock, and watches what appears to be the televised version of Best Gore punctuated by ballet performances. They’re unnerving stories, the Alex tales.
My favorite story in the collection is “The Rent is Due.” A lunatic landlord wakes all his tenants on the day rent is due. At 3:30 a.m., he lines them up, uses a belt to attach a large book to his head, and forces his tenants to punch him. If they don’t punch hard enough, he makes them hit him again. I don’t know why this story delighted me so much. Another of the shorter pieces I appreciate features a man dying after eating literal doughnut holes – like he has regular doughnuts but does not eat them but eats instead the void in the center. It kills him.
[...]
The book ends with “Love: A Parable.” It may seem like a jaded, cynical look at love, but at the same time it is a kind look at the nature of some sorts of romantic love, a perspective that can become very sentimental if not kept in check. It’s strange to say that a story can be both cynical and sentimental but here we are.
This book contains some rough and/or gross content: a neighborhood descends into really uncompelling group sex, a war criminal recites a nauseating soliloquy, weird angels wreck cars when they fall from the sky, and similarly unnerving content can surprise the reader unprepared for this sort of bizarro-ish splattery writing. Luckily I was prepared. You should be, too.
This is an abridged version of a much longer discussion - if you want to read the whole thing, click here.
Most of these stories are flash fiction, more along the lines of vignettes. A few of the stories are longer form, like “Meth-Lab Nursery,” which sadly does exactly what is indicated in the title, and “The Arranged Marriage,” a strange story about a young couple forced to marry by their intrusive parents. The couple eventually find a way out of their predicament when they meet the girl’s ex-boyfriend, who works for a side show because he has what sounds like a cinematic form of progeria. We also get snippets of the miserable, post-apocalyptic, life of Alex, a protagonist who, in the course of three stories, gets coffee at a terrifying cafe located in an utter hellscape, is forced to fetch his mail from a locked cuckoo clock, and watches what appears to be the televised version of Best Gore punctuated by ballet performances. They’re unnerving stories, the Alex tales.
My favorite story in the collection is “The Rent is Due.” A lunatic landlord wakes all his tenants on the day rent is due. At 3:30 a.m., he lines them up, uses a belt to attach a large book to his head, and forces his tenants to punch him. If they don’t punch hard enough, he makes them hit him again. I don’t know why this story delighted me so much. Another of the shorter pieces I appreciate features a man dying after eating literal doughnut holes – like he has regular doughnuts but does not eat them but eats instead the void in the center. It kills him.
[...]
The book ends with “Love: A Parable.” It may seem like a jaded, cynical look at love, but at the same time it is a kind look at the nature of some sorts of romantic love, a perspective that can become very sentimental if not kept in check. It’s strange to say that a story can be both cynical and sentimental but here we are.
This book contains some rough and/or gross content: a neighborhood descends into really uncompelling group sex, a war criminal recites a nauseating soliloquy, weird angels wreck cars when they fall from the sky, and similarly unnerving content can surprise the reader unprepared for this sort of bizarro-ish splattery writing. Luckily I was prepared. You should be, too.
This is an abridged version of a much longer discussion - if you want to read the whole thing, click here.
March 27, 2019
Full of fuck-you prose with the stories to back it, from start to finish Complete Idiot’s Guide to Saying Goodbye is a bizarro joyride and a great way to say hello to Ben Arzate.
January 11, 2020
Reading Ben Arzate’s short story collection is like being a kid reaching blindfolded into a bowl of trick-or-treat candy. You know you’re going to get something good, but you’re going to have to go through a some fear and disorientation to get it. Four stars for originality.
March 29, 2020
Arzate’s mind is like channel surfing, you pause at the quick stories that leaves you asking is my rent due this week? And then you click to the next station that has a women blasting her AK-47 and tossing Neohumans into the dirt. Arzate and his debut collection is bizarre, yet a refreshing guide of all things humorous, to the transgressions of bizarro literature.
Overall Favorites:
- ...but i was reminded of...
- The Rent is Due
- Violent Bitch Hitomi
- Unreflected Text
- There Goes the Neighborhood
- Little Jimmy’s Secret
Overall Favorites:
- ...but i was reminded of...
- The Rent is Due
- Violent Bitch Hitomi
- Unreflected Text
- There Goes the Neighborhood
- Little Jimmy’s Secret
April 22, 2019
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Saying Goodbye is one of those collections that has a little bit of everything but still feels like a comprehensive collection of the intent of the author. While this collection is a quick read, it has a lot of different things for different people, from poetry to straight bizarro. It's definitely well worth picking up.
December 31, 2019
Not at all what I expected when I picked this up...
However, definitely one of my most interesting reads all year. A collection of intrusive and unfiltered thoughts and feelings somehow gently woven into borderline poetic storytelling, even in it's shorter content.
I'll definitely be looking for more from this author in the future.
However, definitely one of my most interesting reads all year. A collection of intrusive and unfiltered thoughts and feelings somehow gently woven into borderline poetic storytelling, even in it's shorter content.
I'll definitely be looking for more from this author in the future.
February 20, 2019
Wonderful collection of short fiction. Very enjoyable read.
July 10, 2025
THE COMPLETE IDIOT’S GUIDE TO SAYING GOODBYE: STORIES
By Ben Arzate
Okay, I’m going to start this review off by saying that this is my first time reviewing a short story collection that had stories as short as these. I’ll also be super transparent and admit that I’ve never really given these types of shorter stories a chance, by any author, as they didn’t seem like they’d be my jam. Well… I was wrong. I absolutely LOVED them and I’m glad Ben Arzate was the one to show me how these are done, and done well.
Now that we got that out of the way, this collection is around 115 pages and has 33 stories. So if you math that out, you can see why I emphasized that they truly are short stories. There would be no way for me to ever review all 33 in a manner someone would actually read, but I would like to highlight some of the stories that were favorites of mine:
-This Be the Creation Story
-Alex Buys Coffee
-The Rent is Due
-The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Saying Goodbye
-Channel 104 at 2:45 AM
-Two Sentence Horror Story
-WATER MUSIC
-Sharp Tongue
-RealDoll Ballet
-John Walks into a Bar
-Little Jimmy’s Secret
-Why You Should Always Tip the Pizza Guy
-A Very Young Something With Wings
-Love: A Parable
Overall, every story in this collection is so different from one another. Some offer more depravity than others. A couple will make you gag. Some will make you really think. Many will make you say “WTF.” But the one thing they all have in common is how fantastic they’re written. This is yet another collection running for a top spot on my 2025 reads and one I recommend to everyone!
It’s available on Godless and is way too good to pass up! Get your hands on it asap.
By Ben Arzate
Okay, I’m going to start this review off by saying that this is my first time reviewing a short story collection that had stories as short as these. I’ll also be super transparent and admit that I’ve never really given these types of shorter stories a chance, by any author, as they didn’t seem like they’d be my jam. Well… I was wrong. I absolutely LOVED them and I’m glad Ben Arzate was the one to show me how these are done, and done well.
Now that we got that out of the way, this collection is around 115 pages and has 33 stories. So if you math that out, you can see why I emphasized that they truly are short stories. There would be no way for me to ever review all 33 in a manner someone would actually read, but I would like to highlight some of the stories that were favorites of mine:
-This Be the Creation Story
-Alex Buys Coffee
-The Rent is Due
-The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Saying Goodbye
-Channel 104 at 2:45 AM
-Two Sentence Horror Story
-WATER MUSIC
-Sharp Tongue
-RealDoll Ballet
-John Walks into a Bar
-Little Jimmy’s Secret
-Why You Should Always Tip the Pizza Guy
-A Very Young Something With Wings
-Love: A Parable
Overall, every story in this collection is so different from one another. Some offer more depravity than others. A couple will make you gag. Some will make you really think. Many will make you say “WTF.” But the one thing they all have in common is how fantastic they’re written. This is yet another collection running for a top spot on my 2025 reads and one I recommend to everyone!
It’s available on Godless and is way too good to pass up! Get your hands on it asap.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews