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I Used to Like You Until...: How Binary Thinking Divides Us
We’ve become a society of non-thinkers. After all, we’ve largely limited ourselves to just two options when it comes to complex issues. As an independent, libertarian voter who has spent the last ten years at Fox News, Kat has faced this phenomenon too many times to count. She’s learned that surprising things can happen when you refuse to choose a team, especially when you work at a place some people call an existential threat to America.
Binary thinking is much more than just the enemy of critical thinking, it’s also an immediate danger to our political discourse, our institutions, our way of consuming news, our relationships, our creativity, and even to our freedoms. All too often, we will let a single difference in viewpoint, an assumption, or an association be enough to write off another person entirely. We miss out on opportunities to connect and collaborate, all while the people in power benefit from our division.
Through humorous examples from her own life and insight only someone in her bizarre position can possess, Kat reminds us that the world doesn’t have to be so black and white. In her signature witty voice, Kat inspires us to lean into thoughtful consideration, genuine conversation, vulnerability, and only hating people when they really deserve it.
Binary thinking is much more than just the enemy of critical thinking, it’s also an immediate danger to our political discourse, our institutions, our way of consuming news, our relationships, our creativity, and even to our freedoms. All too often, we will let a single difference in viewpoint, an assumption, or an association be enough to write off another person entirely. We miss out on opportunities to connect and collaborate, all while the people in power benefit from our division.
Through humorous examples from her own life and insight only someone in her bizarre position can possess, Kat reminds us that the world doesn’t have to be so black and white. In her signature witty voice, Kat inspires us to lean into thoughtful consideration, genuine conversation, vulnerability, and only hating people when they really deserve it.
208 pages, Hardcover
First published September 10, 2024
439 people are currently reading
669 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 109 reviews
September 25, 2024
Scream👏 it👏 louder👏 for👏 the👏 people👏 in👏 the👏 back!
"I've said it before and I'll say it again: binary thinking is the enemy of critical thinking. For some reason, we've largely limited ourselves to just two options on so many crucial complex issues. Once you pick a side or a lens, you no longer have to think because all the thinking has been done for you. No matter the issue, you'll just go with whatever the people on your side are saying. You don't have to challenge your beliefs or feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, that stunts personal growth, as well as, personal relationships that could have been fulfilling."
"Grappling with diverse opinions and backgrounds makes us better decision makers, more creative problem solvers, and more empathic people."
"So even though it's tough--and in many ways, unnatural--refusing to try to get along with other people who disagree with you is not a good thing. If we want things to change, it's up to us."
"I've said it before and I'll say it again: binary thinking is the enemy of critical thinking. For some reason, we've largely limited ourselves to just two options on so many crucial complex issues. Once you pick a side or a lens, you no longer have to think because all the thinking has been done for you. No matter the issue, you'll just go with whatever the people on your side are saying. You don't have to challenge your beliefs or feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, that stunts personal growth, as well as, personal relationships that could have been fulfilling."
"Grappling with diverse opinions and backgrounds makes us better decision makers, more creative problem solvers, and more empathic people."
"So even though it's tough--and in many ways, unnatural--refusing to try to get along with other people who disagree with you is not a good thing. If we want things to change, it's up to us."
September 30, 2024
Very good book. A serious topic but written with Kat’s great humor.
August 15, 2025
5 Stars for I Used to Like You Until… (audiobook) by Kat Timpf read by the author.
I don’t understand how such an open minded and reasonable idea could be so controversial. But I’m sure that I’m going to loose a couple of GR friends for just liking this book. I haven’t followed the author on TV but I’ve enjoyed watching some of her takes on social media. And I love reading her books. I find her life stories fascinating.
I don’t understand how such an open minded and reasonable idea could be so controversial. But I’m sure that I’m going to loose a couple of GR friends for just liking this book. I haven’t followed the author on TV but I’ve enjoyed watching some of her takes on social media. And I love reading her books. I find her life stories fascinating.
September 12, 2024
Enjoyable overall read
The best parts of this book, for me, were the personal stories that were shared. I find Kat to be intelligent and captivating because her way of thinking and expression is unique. The least favorite parts for me were the studies she cited that I got quickly annoyed by. The overall premise of the book is absolutely true and people from all sides will benefit by reading it. I can't wait for her next book and hope it is all about her and nothing else is needed.
The best parts of this book, for me, were the personal stories that were shared. I find Kat to be intelligent and captivating because her way of thinking and expression is unique. The least favorite parts for me were the studies she cited that I got quickly annoyed by. The overall premise of the book is absolutely true and people from all sides will benefit by reading it. I can't wait for her next book and hope it is all about her and nothing else is needed.
September 23, 2024
I appreciate Kat's vulnerability and willingness to discuss difficult topics. Do I agree with her on 100% of the things she said? No! But, that's kinda the whole point of the book. If we believe something about someone from a different political party (or any group for that matter) just because they're apart of that group- we're really only hurting ourselves. The connections and relationships we're missing out on because of a bias... I hate that our country has become an us vs. them, completely divided (according to the news at least). It's up to us to really break that cycle. We can have friends that are a different political party than us, different religion than we are- and we can have actual productive conversations. Do we have to agree with them- no! We don't have to have the mentality, "if you disagree with me- you're wrong." And I really think that's the whole point Timpf is trying to make. We're very different people- but I think we'd get along just fine. Because we'd choose to.
October 9, 2024
I wish I could quote this whole book.
This didn’t feel preachy or biased, which is exactly what we need to be seeing right now. As an independent, I felt that this was both factual and fair, criticizing both parties and getting down to the nitty-gritty of the primary issue in politics in America, regardless of party: Political divide, political extremism, and political authority.
I didn’t agree with everything said in this book, but that’s the beauty of nonpartisanship and the entire POINT of the book: Don’t write someone off based on assumptions and a singular opinion, don’t follow anyone or anything blindly, allow criticism and critical thinking, and do your own research through multiple sources. 👍
🫡
This didn’t feel preachy or biased, which is exactly what we need to be seeing right now. As an independent, I felt that this was both factual and fair, criticizing both parties and getting down to the nitty-gritty of the primary issue in politics in America, regardless of party: Political divide, political extremism, and political authority.
I didn’t agree with everything said in this book, but that’s the beauty of nonpartisanship and the entire POINT of the book: Don’t write someone off based on assumptions and a singular opinion, don’t follow anyone or anything blindly, allow criticism and critical thinking, and do your own research through multiple sources. 👍
🫡
February 17, 2025
I really enjoyed *I Used to Like You Until...* I decided to read it after a friend told me to try more political books, and the phrase "binary thinking" on the cover caught my attention. I'll admit, I didn’t know who Kat Timpf was, but as I read, I found myself agreeing with so many of her ideas. I can't count the number of times I have ranted to my husband about tribalism, “Othering”, and how we get stuck in echo chambers. This book might as well have been written by me, only I could never have put my opinions down on paper this cohesively.
To get a vibe of the general message of the book here are 2 quotes I liked: "Refusing to interact with people you disagree with will inevitably lead to believe incorrect assumptions about them"
"The thrill of feeling morally Superior has no doubt played a huge role into how we've gotten to where we are now"
It was such a relief to finally read a mainstream voice I can actually agree with. If you’ve ever felt frustrated with today’s political discourse, this book is a must-read.
To get a vibe of the general message of the book here are 2 quotes I liked: "Refusing to interact with people you disagree with will inevitably lead to believe incorrect assumptions about them"
"The thrill of feeling morally Superior has no doubt played a huge role into how we've gotten to where we are now"
It was such a relief to finally read a mainstream voice I can actually agree with. If you’ve ever felt frustrated with today’s political discourse, this book is a must-read.
October 12, 2024
Kat’s new book tackles an intriguing subject—binary thinking—and how it impacts discourse in today’s polarized world. While the premise suggests a critical examination of how people approach issues with an all-or-nothing mindset, the book often strays into Timpf’s personal stories and experiences with online harassment.
Though these anecdotes may resonate with fans of her media presence, readers looking for a deep dive into the complexities of binary thinking may feel underserved. The book spends considerable time on her personal reactions to negative comments and doesn’t necessarily illuminate the broader topic of binary thinking as much as the title might suggest.
Timpf’s humor and sharp writing style are present throughout, and there are moments of insight. However, those hoping for a more focused exploration of the dangers of binary thought might find the personal stories distracting. In the end, it's a light, often entertaining read that brushes on serious issues, but in no way a treatise on red/blue division. I seriously LOL’d many times.
Listened on audio as delivered by Kat, who did it perfectly. Her delivery is so much like another (male) comedian or cartoon character—it is making me crazy not being able to think of who it is!
Though these anecdotes may resonate with fans of her media presence, readers looking for a deep dive into the complexities of binary thinking may feel underserved. The book spends considerable time on her personal reactions to negative comments and doesn’t necessarily illuminate the broader topic of binary thinking as much as the title might suggest.
Timpf’s humor and sharp writing style are present throughout, and there are moments of insight. However, those hoping for a more focused exploration of the dangers of binary thought might find the personal stories distracting. In the end, it's a light, often entertaining read that brushes on serious issues, but in no way a treatise on red/blue division. I seriously LOL’d many times.
Listened on audio as delivered by Kat, who did it perfectly. Her delivery is so much like another (male) comedian or cartoon character—it is making me crazy not being able to think of who it is!
September 29, 2024
DNF I really wanted to love this book. I even preordered it based on how much I enjoyed her first. I’m also a huge Gutfeld! fan and enjoy her takes on the show.
However, I quickly became overwhelmed with all the statistics and what seemed like stream of consciousness anecdotes. Half way through I realized I was bored, skipping paragraphs and not enjoying the read. That said, I’m giving it 2 stars because she definitely made her point and am still a fan. Sorry, Kat, this one just isn’t for me.
However, I quickly became overwhelmed with all the statistics and what seemed like stream of consciousness anecdotes. Half way through I realized I was bored, skipping paragraphs and not enjoying the read. That said, I’m giving it 2 stars because she definitely made her point and am still a fan. Sorry, Kat, this one just isn’t for me.
December 20, 2024
4.5 stars
A fascinating and funny way to handle such a huge topic. I knew nothing of her going in, but she made her points well.
A fascinating and funny way to handle such a huge topic. I knew nothing of her going in, but she made her points well.
September 22, 2024
AMEN!
Kat, thank you for stating the very obvious truth to our current state of our country. You have put into words what I have been feeling for way too long, as I struggle with daily interaction with both the far right and the far left. Many times I have been telling myself that we all really do have more in common than we espouse to each other. Thank you for confirming that in this book.
Kat, thank you for stating the very obvious truth to our current state of our country. You have put into words what I have been feeling for way too long, as I struggle with daily interaction with both the far right and the far left. Many times I have been telling myself that we all really do have more in common than we espouse to each other. Thank you for confirming that in this book.
October 2, 2024
I think that everyone, no matter your political stance, should read this book. My wife and I listened to the audiobook on Spotify, which was enjoyable because she voiced her own book. Thanks Kat for making an amazing, impactful and important book!
October 8, 2024
I implore everyone to read this amid this political climate.
October 11, 2024
I disagree with about 80 % of her views. I think this will be the last book of hers I will finish. She has really moved towards to the left with her views.
May 7, 2025
...sighs.
Okay, so, this is another one recommended to me by my Nana, by another Fox News commentator. I don't know why I humor this woman, and I don't know why I like to hate read so much.
I understand the message of this book is to try and address the binaristic thinking that encompasses a lot of the Political Discourse today. This book wasn't really For Me, in that I'm a capital L Leftist (like the author is a little l libertarian).
But also, it would be better if, at all, she stuck to the book's core message.
And believe you me, she loves to tell you about the book's message! She makes 10-20 references to the fact that topics are handled in previous parts of the book, that she is, in fact, writing a book, that she has to write this book ((pg 17, 20, every few pages..)).. it goes on. And did she mention that she wrote another book before? You Can't Joke About That is mentioned another 10-20 times too, and some quotes are lifted directly out of that book. A lot of quotes are straight up copy-pasted from things she's tweeted, things she's said on her show, transcripts from podcasts, her messages with exes. She is incredibly self-referential throughout the entire book, enough for the book to strike me as grift-y.
And that doesn't scratch the surface of her superiority-inferiority. Like, babe. I'm a My Hero Academia stan. This girl's got it worse than Kacchan.
On one hand, she'll talk about the devastating amount of breakups she's had, her paralyzing anxiety, her and her low self-esteem. On the other, she'll talk about how her uniquely unique way of thinking is the ultimate panacea to our current discourse ("By the way: When it comes to Trump himself, I'm low-key proud of my ability to thoroughly consider news related to him... I have a set of core principles, and my view of any situation depends on those principles instead of predetermined allegiance. (pg 12)". She can have a great friendship with someone who believes in broken windows policing and stop-and-frisk, even if she's against it! As if believing in what is tantamount to racial profiling is you know, a quirky difference in opinion. "My friend really likes pickles and I'm not a fan" type shit.
And I.. get it. Like, I'm an OCD girlie. I get being mentally ill. It sucks. But the whiplash between the two was one of the (many) grating things about this book.
What really ground my gears was the gentle hand she had for the political right. Like, she can play both sides all she wants, but save for the latter chapters, she had A LOT of false equivalence going on. Here are some of my favorites.
"Democrats popularized the beating of war drums in Ukraine" (pg 23-24), as if Iraq and Afghanistan (WHICH SHE TALKS ABOUT LATER) don't exist.
"Trump was indicted on four counts related to the 2020 election, and news broke that Hunter Biden put then-VP Joe on the phone more than twenty times during business dinners." (pg 26) LIKE? GIRL. Election interference >>>>> your garden variety corruption
"...[A]n analysis of the economic impacts of limiting the rise of the Earth's temperature to 1.5 degrees by oft-cited climate economist Richard Tol found that the costs of doing so would outweigh any financial benefits." (pg 54-55), which. Again. Failing planet >>> economy, but also Richard Tol used erroneous data and is a totally non-biased member of the Global Warming Policy Foundation, which.. literally promotes climate misinformation.
"The people on the Left who treat the existence of a Right-leaning outlet as a uniquely and unconscionably awful abomination conveniently ignore how it came to be in the first palce, which was an antidote to the media's heretofore largely liberal slant." (pg 60). Yeah, it was pro-conservative, but also founded to be PRO-NIXON (CONSERVATIVE) ADMINISTRATION. Please for the love of GOD do some research.
"[Ilhan Omar] filed joint tax returns with her now-husband before they were married and while she was married to someone else, a violation of both state and federal law... [AOC] had an outstanding tax bill from a failed business." (pg 100) Did you know that both offenses amount to about $5,000? Small tax errors don't equate to your grandstanding about them wanting to tax the rich.
Moving on.
There were a few other things, like her tendency to quote research, then be like "no offense, eggheads, but I have ✨common sense✨ and I could figure that out." She's willing to do incredibly surface level research, refer to it as research for her book, and then just.. make completely incorrect assumptions based upon it. She actually comes close to class consciousness a few times before just.. not.
But.
Her stories about her mother did touch my heart. More specifically, "Just as with all our conversations about religion, it got heated, and left us stuck on the same two sides: She wanted me to believe, and I wanted her to be my mother." Like.. yeah. That was the most humanizing aspect of this book to me - I think she tried to be pretty raw and self-deprecating throughout the book to try and keep you focused, but that line right there is actually what brought me kind of to her side a bit.
The interesting thing too is that we have a lot of commonalities in belief. I highlighted a lot of the book that I flat out agreed with politically, and I can probably share some exasperated eye-rolling with her. I do believe her when she says what she believes, but I don't believe her opinions are well-researched. A lot of what she said seemed pretty rudimentary, even if I kind of like her as a person?
I don't know. This was not a good book, but it could be like.. an okay comedy set? Because while it doesn't super get the job done in terms of trying to point out that both sides suck (because she is Very willing to drink a lot of conservative koolaid in framing), it is a good reminder that the other side isn't inherently evil.
Okay, so, this is another one recommended to me by my Nana, by another Fox News commentator. I don't know why I humor this woman, and I don't know why I like to hate read so much.
I understand the message of this book is to try and address the binaristic thinking that encompasses a lot of the Political Discourse today. This book wasn't really For Me, in that I'm a capital L Leftist (like the author is a little l libertarian).
But also, it would be better if, at all, she stuck to the book's core message.
And believe you me, she loves to tell you about the book's message! She makes 10-20 references to the fact that topics are handled in previous parts of the book, that she is, in fact, writing a book, that she has to write this book ((pg 17, 20, every few pages..)).. it goes on. And did she mention that she wrote another book before? You Can't Joke About That is mentioned another 10-20 times too, and some quotes are lifted directly out of that book. A lot of quotes are straight up copy-pasted from things she's tweeted, things she's said on her show, transcripts from podcasts, her messages with exes. She is incredibly self-referential throughout the entire book, enough for the book to strike me as grift-y.
And that doesn't scratch the surface of her superiority-inferiority. Like, babe. I'm a My Hero Academia stan. This girl's got it worse than Kacchan.
On one hand, she'll talk about the devastating amount of breakups she's had, her paralyzing anxiety, her and her low self-esteem. On the other, she'll talk about how her uniquely unique way of thinking is the ultimate panacea to our current discourse ("By the way: When it comes to Trump himself, I'm low-key proud of my ability to thoroughly consider news related to him... I have a set of core principles, and my view of any situation depends on those principles instead of predetermined allegiance. (pg 12)". She can have a great friendship with someone who believes in broken windows policing and stop-and-frisk, even if she's against it! As if believing in what is tantamount to racial profiling is you know, a quirky difference in opinion. "My friend really likes pickles and I'm not a fan" type shit.
And I.. get it. Like, I'm an OCD girlie. I get being mentally ill. It sucks. But the whiplash between the two was one of the (many) grating things about this book.
What really ground my gears was the gentle hand she had for the political right. Like, she can play both sides all she wants, but save for the latter chapters, she had A LOT of false equivalence going on. Here are some of my favorites.
"Democrats popularized the beating of war drums in Ukraine" (pg 23-24), as if Iraq and Afghanistan (WHICH SHE TALKS ABOUT LATER) don't exist.
"Trump was indicted on four counts related to the 2020 election, and news broke that Hunter Biden put then-VP Joe on the phone more than twenty times during business dinners." (pg 26) LIKE? GIRL. Election interference >>>>> your garden variety corruption
"...[A]n analysis of the economic impacts of limiting the rise of the Earth's temperature to 1.5 degrees by oft-cited climate economist Richard Tol found that the costs of doing so would outweigh any financial benefits." (pg 54-55), which. Again. Failing planet >>> economy, but also Richard Tol used erroneous data and is a totally non-biased member of the Global Warming Policy Foundation, which.. literally promotes climate misinformation.
"The people on the Left who treat the existence of a Right-leaning outlet as a uniquely and unconscionably awful abomination conveniently ignore how it came to be in the first palce, which was an antidote to the media's heretofore largely liberal slant." (pg 60). Yeah, it was pro-conservative, but also founded to be PRO-NIXON (CONSERVATIVE) ADMINISTRATION. Please for the love of GOD do some research.
"[Ilhan Omar] filed joint tax returns with her now-husband before they were married and while she was married to someone else, a violation of both state and federal law... [AOC] had an outstanding tax bill from a failed business." (pg 100) Did you know that both offenses amount to about $5,000? Small tax errors don't equate to your grandstanding about them wanting to tax the rich.
Moving on.
There were a few other things, like her tendency to quote research, then be like "no offense, eggheads, but I have ✨common sense✨ and I could figure that out." She's willing to do incredibly surface level research, refer to it as research for her book, and then just.. make completely incorrect assumptions based upon it. She actually comes close to class consciousness a few times before just.. not.
But.
Her stories about her mother did touch my heart. More specifically, "Just as with all our conversations about religion, it got heated, and left us stuck on the same two sides: She wanted me to believe, and I wanted her to be my mother." Like.. yeah. That was the most humanizing aspect of this book to me - I think she tried to be pretty raw and self-deprecating throughout the book to try and keep you focused, but that line right there is actually what brought me kind of to her side a bit.
The interesting thing too is that we have a lot of commonalities in belief. I highlighted a lot of the book that I flat out agreed with politically, and I can probably share some exasperated eye-rolling with her. I do believe her when she says what she believes, but I don't believe her opinions are well-researched. A lot of what she said seemed pretty rudimentary, even if I kind of like her as a person?
I don't know. This was not a good book, but it could be like.. an okay comedy set? Because while it doesn't super get the job done in terms of trying to point out that both sides suck (because she is Very willing to drink a lot of conservative koolaid in framing), it is a good reminder that the other side isn't inherently evil.
September 3, 2025
(audiobook)
Did not finish. Tapped out at 36%.
Not familiar with Kat Timpf at all, but eager to listen to a book on binary thinking, I gave it a shot.
But after a few hours of listening, I had to give it up.
It was a hard listen and a pretty shallow exploration of the topic. Kat writes from her unique perspective, but doesn't stray beyond her own examples much to illustrate the problems of binary thinking.
So much of the book was anecdotes about her own experiences where she felt pigeonholed due to her job on a Fox News show. There were a few instances where she cited polls, studies and other examples to illustrate the phenomenon, but they were far outweighed by stories about herself.
This really comes off more as a memoir about herself than an exploration of political polarization. And being that so much of Kat's life is about politics, her own experiences really skew her perspective on the problem.
I agree wholeheartedly with the premise that American politics is too polarized and exploits the public by presenting binary options. But I was hoping for more from this book than Kat complaining about conversations at parties, guys she used to date, and reading nasty social media comments from jerks insulting her.
Over a third into the book, I didn't find a hint that it would get any deeper and truly explore the issue of binary thinking and suggest some solutions.
As far as the audiobook part of it, Kat has a good voice for narrating, but her delivery is very bullish. It comes off as someone arguing a strong opinion with frequent doses of sarcasm -- for hours. It's the tone I'd expect on a cable news opinion show -- makes sense as that's her job -- but not something that I want in my ears for a whole audiobook.
Did not finish. Tapped out at 36%.
Not familiar with Kat Timpf at all, but eager to listen to a book on binary thinking, I gave it a shot.
But after a few hours of listening, I had to give it up.
It was a hard listen and a pretty shallow exploration of the topic. Kat writes from her unique perspective, but doesn't stray beyond her own examples much to illustrate the problems of binary thinking.
So much of the book was anecdotes about her own experiences where she felt pigeonholed due to her job on a Fox News show. There were a few instances where she cited polls, studies and other examples to illustrate the phenomenon, but they were far outweighed by stories about herself.
This really comes off more as a memoir about herself than an exploration of political polarization. And being that so much of Kat's life is about politics, her own experiences really skew her perspective on the problem.
I agree wholeheartedly with the premise that American politics is too polarized and exploits the public by presenting binary options. But I was hoping for more from this book than Kat complaining about conversations at parties, guys she used to date, and reading nasty social media comments from jerks insulting her.
Over a third into the book, I didn't find a hint that it would get any deeper and truly explore the issue of binary thinking and suggest some solutions.
As far as the audiobook part of it, Kat has a good voice for narrating, but her delivery is very bullish. It comes off as someone arguing a strong opinion with frequent doses of sarcasm -- for hours. It's the tone I'd expect on a cable news opinion show -- makes sense as that's her job -- but not something that I want in my ears for a whole audiobook.
February 19, 2025
I loved reading a book by a libertarian and a columnist for Fox News. I thought the book was well written, captivating and full of great information. I found myself literally nodding my head over and over again and saying "yes!" "totally!" "brilliant!' while listening to the audiobook. I actually changed my mind completely on taxes, just from her one chapter on it. I feel like Kat helped me understand our country and the people in it better, and I'm very grateful I read her book.
I only listened to the audiobook but I'm looking forward to reading the physical copy so I can highlight quotes. I wrote down a few of my favorite quotes so wanted to include them in the review. (Grammer mistakes are my own)
"I've told people I work in p*rn, instead of that I work at Fox News, because it's less controversial"
"Dropping the Fox News bomb at a party changes the vibe of the whole thing. People will look around like who let her in?! Shes complicit in hatred!"
"The two sides have become so polarized that people aren't critically thinking. They are too busy shouting partisan talking points at each other, insisting on showing just how committed they are to their own side: the good side"
"If you believe the other party is evil, you get to be good simply because you're against them"
I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a thought provoking and fresh take on American politics.
I only listened to the audiobook but I'm looking forward to reading the physical copy so I can highlight quotes. I wrote down a few of my favorite quotes so wanted to include them in the review. (Grammer mistakes are my own)
"I've told people I work in p*rn, instead of that I work at Fox News, because it's less controversial"
"Dropping the Fox News bomb at a party changes the vibe of the whole thing. People will look around like who let her in?! Shes complicit in hatred!"
"The two sides have become so polarized that people aren't critically thinking. They are too busy shouting partisan talking points at each other, insisting on showing just how committed they are to their own side: the good side"
"If you believe the other party is evil, you get to be good simply because you're against them"
I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a thought provoking and fresh take on American politics.
March 23, 2025
Политическите отношения във всекидневна Америка очевидно не са на много добро ниво, особено в големите градове, дето човек може да се сблъска както с големи различия в материалното и социално положение на съгражданите си, така и с големи политически различия.
Особено вероятно е това да стане, ако в този поляризиран политически климат, в тази епоха на крайности и липса на нюанс, човек е както що-годе известен, така и със склонност по-скоро към обмисляне и нюанс в политическите си възгледи, отколкото към яростно крещене на мнението си.
Кат Тимпф е либертарианка, която участва в едно комедийно-коментарно предаване по Фокс Нюз и освен това живее в Ню-Йорк и работи в сферата на медиите - три елемента, предвещаващи бурна химическа реакция помежду си. Която авторката описва в книгата и които провокират коментарите й на гореописаното поляризирано американско общество.
Изводът й: Can't we all just get along?
Особено вероятно е това да стане, ако в този поляризиран политически климат, в тази епоха на крайности и липса на нюанс, човек е както що-годе известен, така и със склонност по-скоро към обмисляне и нюанс в политическите си възгледи, отколкото към яростно крещене на мнението си.
Кат Тимпф е либертарианка, която участва в едно комедийно-коментарно предаване по Фокс Нюз и освен това живее в Ню-Йорк и работи в сферата на медиите - три елемента, предвещаващи бурна химическа реакция помежду си. Която авторката описва в книгата и които провокират коментарите й на гореописаното поляризирано американско общество.
Изводът й: Can't we all just get along?
February 12, 2025
Read. This. Book! And then listen to the messages. And if you didn’t get them the first time, read it again. I highly suggest listening to this because it’s read by the author, and her humor shines through in her own voice. I burst out laughing so many times and also found myself nodding and saying “exactly!” out loud more times than I could count. Binary thinking has divided us. And flexible thinking is going to save us. I had no idea who Kat Timpf was before I read this book, had no clue what she does for a living or anything else. I just loved the title and I was not disappointed. You can’t read this with a cynical closed mind or you will miss (and make) the point.
November 10, 2024
You’ll hate this book if A) this election was easily black or white for you, or B) you easily judge a person by one piece of information you know about them (like their work)
A very serious book with humor along the way. Kat opening up about some very personal issues made the book feel more real. You understand how her life has shaped her as a human.
Kat, from what you shared about her, your mother would be proud.
A very serious book with humor along the way. Kat opening up about some very personal issues made the book feel more real. You understand how her life has shaped her as a human.
Kat, from what you shared about her, your mother would be proud.
March 31, 2025
I completely agree with the author's premise in this book, but just can't handle her language. It's probably partially because this is three audiobooks in as many weeks that were full of f-bombs and other profane language, but, in those books there was a point to the language. In this book it's just because she can. And also, the writing was just pretty average.
December 5, 2024
“Binary thinking is the enemy of critical thinking”
May 26, 2025
I think my dad got this for me as a "fuck you stop being so judgemental," but I agreed with a lot of points and the ones I didn't agree with I thought about. ended up writing notes in the margins and a letter to my dad in the back. maybe ill give it to him to read, who knows
October 15, 2024
loved her prior book. This one probably would be better as an audible . The book reads much like she talks on shows. Not a bad thing, just difficult to read and at some points was tiresome.
I may purchase on audible as I think I would enjoy it more.
I may purchase on audible as I think I would enjoy it more.
September 13, 2024
Overall, I found this book enjoyable!
3 stars because the theme was a bit of a wet blanket on top of a very interesting story. I would have preferred something more autobiographical - perhaps still with the same theme but less tightly tied to it.
3 stars because the theme was a bit of a wet blanket on top of a very interesting story. I would have preferred something more autobiographical - perhaps still with the same theme but less tightly tied to it.
February 22, 2025
DNF around 30%, when she started talking about how "valid" concerns about economic losses were when making decisions to combat climate change. Girl, come on.
I picked up this book by accident, which, I presume, is how most people start reading this book. It was in the "humor" section of a library display and had a cute girl on it - I figured she was a comedian. She makes it very clear early on what she's actually famous for, which is being a bisexual libertarian Fox News pundit. Oh my. Well, the last woman who made me feel insane and in love was a skinny white libertarian. I resolved to read this book in case it gave me, "there are other fish in the sea" feelings.
A lot of what I read was whining that people don't like her because of her actions and choices. Don't get me wrong, I agree that it's important to have personal relationships with people who don't agree with you on political issues. Some disagreements, though, come down to irresolvable differences--the kind which will manifest in conflicts in the relationship in other ways. A lot of politics is about what we owe each other, and what level of care we have available in ourselves for other peoples' feelings. Sometimes it's about intelligence and fastidiousness, about how thoroughly we've thought through our positions and how emotional we are about them with or without being self aware. In other cases, it comes down to our fundamental beliefs about reality. All of these issues put up reasonable barriers of trust in scenarios where intimacy is involved. In short: it may be fun to knock back a White Claw and play darts with a Republican, but I wouldn't trust them to weigh in on an actual conflict in my life.
And I wouldn't trust Kat Timpf. She seems to have no self awareness that, even if she herself never says something untrue or unkind, she's building a product, the purpose of which is to incite fear and spread propaganda. She chooses to spend her time and her life doing this. I get the sense she and I agree on a lot of actual political issues, but we're not going to agree on whether she's entitled to social capital, or to people caring about her feelings of "being judged" when she doesn't take care of their feelings.
In reality there is no strong line between the personal and the political. No firm boundary. If the system kills you, it kills your person, not just your politics.
And you know - the more involved you are with government the more you realize it's a lot of different people in different rooms who do not communicate or agree with each other. The money for different committees and commissions all comes from different places at different times. So you can't be "anti government" or "for small government" because government is not one big nebulous concept. You have to make your decisions on a case by case basis, looking at the workings and value of each institution. I hope Ms. Timpf will be my ally when it comes to defunding the police but I don't know how much I can rely on her when it comes to, say, healthcare or foreign aid.
I picked up this book by accident, which, I presume, is how most people start reading this book. It was in the "humor" section of a library display and had a cute girl on it - I figured she was a comedian. She makes it very clear early on what she's actually famous for, which is being a bisexual libertarian Fox News pundit. Oh my. Well, the last woman who made me feel insane and in love was a skinny white libertarian. I resolved to read this book in case it gave me, "there are other fish in the sea" feelings.
A lot of what I read was whining that people don't like her because of her actions and choices. Don't get me wrong, I agree that it's important to have personal relationships with people who don't agree with you on political issues. Some disagreements, though, come down to irresolvable differences--the kind which will manifest in conflicts in the relationship in other ways. A lot of politics is about what we owe each other, and what level of care we have available in ourselves for other peoples' feelings. Sometimes it's about intelligence and fastidiousness, about how thoroughly we've thought through our positions and how emotional we are about them with or without being self aware. In other cases, it comes down to our fundamental beliefs about reality. All of these issues put up reasonable barriers of trust in scenarios where intimacy is involved. In short: it may be fun to knock back a White Claw and play darts with a Republican, but I wouldn't trust them to weigh in on an actual conflict in my life.
And I wouldn't trust Kat Timpf. She seems to have no self awareness that, even if she herself never says something untrue or unkind, she's building a product, the purpose of which is to incite fear and spread propaganda. She chooses to spend her time and her life doing this. I get the sense she and I agree on a lot of actual political issues, but we're not going to agree on whether she's entitled to social capital, or to people caring about her feelings of "being judged" when she doesn't take care of their feelings.
In reality there is no strong line between the personal and the political. No firm boundary. If the system kills you, it kills your person, not just your politics.
And you know - the more involved you are with government the more you realize it's a lot of different people in different rooms who do not communicate or agree with each other. The money for different committees and commissions all comes from different places at different times. So you can't be "anti government" or "for small government" because government is not one big nebulous concept. You have to make your decisions on a case by case basis, looking at the workings and value of each institution. I hope Ms. Timpf will be my ally when it comes to defunding the police but I don't know how much I can rely on her when it comes to, say, healthcare or foreign aid.
October 1, 2024
Meh. Just okay for me. I'd much rather view/listen to her than read her. However, I will probably always support her and buy her books.
February 16, 2025
Kat Timpf's second book showed up on the shelves of Portsmouth (NH) Public Library, an impulsive grab for me. My take on her first book, You Can't Joke About That is here. As I said there, I became a Kat fan when she was writing for National Review (where she was bylined "Katherine Timpf") from 2014 to 2020. (Her author archive is here.) She moved on to Fox News, and became sort of famous, I think. She also does stand-up comedy.
Her overall thesis (see subtitle) is unexceptional: you should not judge people as evil, insane, ignorant, or stupid simply because they disagree with you on some political or personal matter. I assume it's OK to judge if they actually are evil, insane, ignorant, or stupid. But, geez, suck it up and move on; you're not perfect either.
The book is a mishmash of personal observations and political opinion. She is a self-described "small-l" libertarian, and when she is defending her small-p positions, she's often on-target and occasionally very funny. From her chapter on religion:
A lot of the stuff from the Bible is beautiful and certainly more insightful than the Marilyn Monroe quotes that wind up plastered all over Instagram. (I mean, I've said this before, but I'll say it again: As soon as I read "It's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring!" all I hear is "I'm a reckless sloppy drunk and I might throw up in your car!")
Downsides: her on-screen/stage jobs have made her hone her verbal skills very sharply: she's into, see above, one-liner zings. That style doesn't often translate well to the printed page. (Getting the audiobook might work better.) She says "like" a lot. Example, from her climate-change discussion:
Here's the thing, though: If your go back to the Two Sides of the 1997 Kyoto Protocol, there are many reasons to see both sides as right. For example, it would be better, in a perfect, simple world, to just, like, stop emitting greenhouse gases.
Safe to say that Kat will not be competing with George F. Will anytime soon. (And, by the way, an Earth without greenhouse gases would be a very cold Earth, without photosynthesis. And, therefore, also probably without many people.)
Kat's rocky personal life, filled with conflict with family, lovers, friends, nicotine, and ex-fans (see the title) is … sorry, not that interesting.
October 18, 2024
I liked her first book much, much better. This one was not for me. Not only do I rather disagree with some of her premise points, but also the style of the book left me cold. It has an anecdotal kind of stream of consciousness glibness that for some of the topics, just didn't do justice to true cognitive abilities to THINK. Which is very much the core of this subject matter. In a perfect world there could be 100 ways to understand law/government/rules or whatever- but maybe 95 of those ways do NOT WORK within any practical applications. Which have been tried over and over again with only failure and misery results. So her base way to decide what IS binary or not- well, to me? She's so young and IMHO, rather naive to being an individual among millions of individuals. Just saying, Kat- language also matters and audiences get bored with unedited on and on's added to stats after stats. Plus most of it cores on harassment she has suffered. Not the onus of the title.
This one holds foul language and much more judgmental equivocal measures criteria, IMHO, despite the onus of being besties with opposites. Often and also there is a kind of disconnect to the non-popular or unheralded peon too. I felt it. Others don't, perhaps- I've read reviews. Maybe because I'm old and have seen some true idealism that ruined more than it helped? Well, a libertarian and small government view is and can be totally justified and could work. But I feel her methods of getting that from where we sit now? ROFL to zero. Coupled with she definitely puts herself right in the midst of the "popular" kids' crowd in the voice here. The truth is, you vote with 1 or 2 or 3 choices depending upon where you live in the USA. With history showing you which choice succeeds when #3 gets a chunk.
It isn't only binary division either that is core to dysfunction presently. Not at all. Critical thinking is nearly absent from media and/or policy of operations now in 2024. So this individual experience evaluation? 3 or 4 main factors are totally left OUT of what critical thinking IS.
If you want to read her, read her first book. This is much on a par for a popularity money grab, IMHO. Love the Gutfeld show, like her comedy routines, feel she is often and nearly always herself with little self-editing, but that this one was NOT a very good writing exercise. She has much better in her.
This one holds foul language and much more judgmental equivocal measures criteria, IMHO, despite the onus of being besties with opposites. Often and also there is a kind of disconnect to the non-popular or unheralded peon too. I felt it. Others don't, perhaps- I've read reviews. Maybe because I'm old and have seen some true idealism that ruined more than it helped? Well, a libertarian and small government view is and can be totally justified and could work. But I feel her methods of getting that from where we sit now? ROFL to zero. Coupled with she definitely puts herself right in the midst of the "popular" kids' crowd in the voice here. The truth is, you vote with 1 or 2 or 3 choices depending upon where you live in the USA. With history showing you which choice succeeds when #3 gets a chunk.
It isn't only binary division either that is core to dysfunction presently. Not at all. Critical thinking is nearly absent from media and/or policy of operations now in 2024. So this individual experience evaluation? 3 or 4 main factors are totally left OUT of what critical thinking IS.
If you want to read her, read her first book. This is much on a par for a popularity money grab, IMHO. Love the Gutfeld show, like her comedy routines, feel she is often and nearly always herself with little self-editing, but that this one was NOT a very good writing exercise. She has much better in her.
September 23, 2024
At a time when Americans are deeply divided along political lines, I Used to Like You Until…by Kat Timpf comes along at the right time. It’s a call for people to focus on what unites them rather than what divides them and to become more tolerant of differences.
Timpf, a comedienne and political commentator on Fox News (and if you’ve just tuned out hearing ‘Fox News,’ well, that’s part of the problem), is a libertarian with a lowercase l. She ascribes to no political party but believes in ultimate personal liberty and freedom of speech, that government should mind its own business and stop interfering in the lives of its citizens.
Her contention is that elected officials seek to divide us, to pit citizens against each other, because if we’re fighting among ourselves, we’re not paying attention to what the government is doing. We the people need to stop fighting, focus on what we can agree on, and ensure our government works for us and not against us.
I highlighted a lot. Here are just a few of the salient points:
“Politics makes us fight with the people we actually know on behalf of the people who don’t even know we exist.”
“There is far too much focus on which specific people we will put into positions of power, and not enough focus on the amount of power those positions have…We wouldn’t have to freak out about what might happen if This Guy or That Guy got elected if the people we elected didn’t have so much authority over us in the first place.”
“Anytime you hear the government use words such as ‘security’ and ‘safety,’ you absolutely should be vigilant…about how the government might be using that kind of language to manipulate you.”
“Too often, people scream at each other over having opposite or different solutions, while missing the chance to acknowledge that they care about the same problem.”
“When anyone calls for a ban on hate speech, they’re assuming that the people in charge of that are going to have the exact same definition of what that means as they do.’
I Used to Like You is smart, perceptive, and timely. A recommended read for everyone!
Timpf, a comedienne and political commentator on Fox News (and if you’ve just tuned out hearing ‘Fox News,’ well, that’s part of the problem), is a libertarian with a lowercase l. She ascribes to no political party but believes in ultimate personal liberty and freedom of speech, that government should mind its own business and stop interfering in the lives of its citizens.
Her contention is that elected officials seek to divide us, to pit citizens against each other, because if we’re fighting among ourselves, we’re not paying attention to what the government is doing. We the people need to stop fighting, focus on what we can agree on, and ensure our government works for us and not against us.
I highlighted a lot. Here are just a few of the salient points:
“Politics makes us fight with the people we actually know on behalf of the people who don’t even know we exist.”
“There is far too much focus on which specific people we will put into positions of power, and not enough focus on the amount of power those positions have…We wouldn’t have to freak out about what might happen if This Guy or That Guy got elected if the people we elected didn’t have so much authority over us in the first place.”
“Anytime you hear the government use words such as ‘security’ and ‘safety,’ you absolutely should be vigilant…about how the government might be using that kind of language to manipulate you.”
“Too often, people scream at each other over having opposite or different solutions, while missing the chance to acknowledge that they care about the same problem.”
“When anyone calls for a ban on hate speech, they’re assuming that the people in charge of that are going to have the exact same definition of what that means as they do.’
I Used to Like You is smart, perceptive, and timely. A recommended read for everyone!
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