The Way of Duty: A Woman and Her Family in Revolutionary America

by Joy Day Buel

The Buels have used a rich trove of documents to tell the story of a Connecticut woman, Mary Fish Silliman (1736–1818), whose adventures illuminate the day-to-day realities of living through the American Revolution.

Genres: History, Biography, Nonfiction, American Revolutionary War, Historical, American History, College

310 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1984

Reviews

[Louis Muñoz]

An exceptional book. The role and contributions and VOICES of women throughout history, in this case, the Revolutionary War period, are sadly underrepresented and underVALUED. This work, based on the extraordinary diaries and journals of Mary Fish Noyes Silliman, is to be cherished on many levels!

[Margo Brooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lovely book about the remakably well documented history of a woman and her family in Revolutionary Connecticut. The authors quote from various letters and journals that her academically inclined family wrote, but interpret the history and life of the family members in a way that makes them live again.

Mary was the daughter of a poor Connecticut minister who came upon hard times (although not devastatingly so) during the Great Awakening. As a minister's daughter, she spent her early years and first marriage defferential and quite indesicive (very different from the protrayal of women as dipcted by Laurel Ulrich's Midwive'A Tale, but upon finding the love of her life in her next husband, her spiritual grounding and grounding of family networks became much more developed, until upon her death, her youngest son, a professor at Yale, gathered her writing for preservation.

This book provides wonderful insights on how the Great Awakening, the Revolutionary War, and the movement of people to the western states after the Revolution affected individuals and families on a personnal level. At the same time, it made sense of many historical quirks that I never 100% appreciated, such as how the capture and exchange of soldiers worked and the fact that ANYONE could read and were generally EXPECTED to read any letters that passed through their hands--whether they were related to the adressee or not. What a nightmere during the war years!

I highly recommend this book for students of history who want to know what life was really like for the average person.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

The authors read through an uncountable number of letters and family papers, slowly piecing together the absolutely fascinating story of this woman and her family through an era of American history you almost never hear about from a woman's perspective.

It had the potential to be a long, slogging read, but it turned out to be a blow-right-through-it, can't-put-it-down. Really, really well-done.

This was #7 of my read-through-the-bookshelf challenge, and this puts me at five awesome books out of seven.

[Leah · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I first picked it up I thought, "This is gonna take me a looooong time. I'll just read the first chapter and see what I think." Well, I was thoroughly engrossed. It's the fascinating story of a remarkable woman who lived in Revolutionary America. Her life was full of ups and downs and she wrote about them in her journals and correspondence. The faith that she learned from her father who was a Puritan minister helped her throughout her entire life.

[Ian Racey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mary Fish Noyes Silliman comes across as a likable and admirable woman, at once both archetypal and exceptional. Her father, a pastor, was a contemporary of the fire-and-brimstone preacher Jonathan Edwards; her son Benjamin was a seminal American science educator and the first American to distill petroleum. Her life spans the history of Connecticut from the Puritans' Great Awakening in the 1740s to the much more secular Age of Jefferson, the Democratic Republicans and the War of 1812. In between, of course, comes the Revolutionary War, an event that took over every detail of Mary's everyday life, as she was married to a general of the Connecticut militia and lived, during the war, in Fairfield, at Connecticut's southwest frontier, all too close to the British strongholds of New York and Long Island. Her husband's abduction to New York by local Tories, and her connivance at the kidnapping of a Long Island Loyalist in retaliation, mark the centrepiece of the book, and are excellent reading. But that central chapter is also the most uncharacteristic, as for most of Mary's long life, she's shown as an unassuming, hardworking, quietly devout Congregationalist, and the reader can't help but like her, and to feel sympathy for her as ill luck, poor decisions and tragedy affect a number of her sons and grandchildren her final years. The authors do make sure not to shirk from how her identity as a slaveholder has to colour that assessment, and are very clear in pointing out the hypocrisy she exhibited in doing so--perhaps somewhat rare in a book published thirty-five years ago.

[Linda Wallace · Rating 3 out of 5]

Somewhat interesting to read about a woman's life in the mid 1700's to the early 1800's. She (Mary) belonged to the middle class, but stil lead a difficult life at times. She was married three times, experienced the lose of children and many close family members as I expect others of the time did also. It was a slow read and at times tedious and difficult especially trying to read the letters that were used as primary sources. The people at that time were very formal & wordy.

[Gabriel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book, I am a direct dissident of Mary Fish Silliman, and it was such an eye opening experience being able to read this book. You don't always really think about how life was in America when your family firsts arrives, being caught up in your own. But I had the rare experience of being able to read a book about my family, and the challenges they faced and the hardships my family has come out of, definitely recommend this book

[David Blankenship · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an interesting account of a long and eventful life of a woman from colonial days through the Revolutionary War into the late 1810s. Through this time, Mary buried three husbands and saw many different outcomes in her children and their children.

At times, the story is more about the men in her life, as in a patriarchal culture that is who recorders of history focused upon. But yet her own life and faith shined through as well.

[Mary Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very well written. Reads like a novel, not dry. As I was reading another biography on Benjamin Silliman, this book flashed into my memory due to his upbringing by his mother which this book is about. Small world.....

[Hannah Catherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

even tho i had to read this for school, i learned to enjoy it! interesting read, especially living in ct all my life.

[Cheyenne · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was a required book for one of the classes I'm currently taking. I didn't choose to read this book however it wasn't as bad as i initially thought it would be. That being said I still didn't enjoy the book all that much. It wasn't the most exciting book I've ever read but it wasn't the worst book I've ever read either.

[Michelle]

journals and letters of Mary Fish, the story of daily life in 1700s conlonial America. Good picture of everyday life, and also gives a feel for the impact of grass-roots politics on the Revolution. Rec. in Honey

[Deborah Rice · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting view of a New England family during the Colonial and Revolutionary time periods. It was taken from the diaries and letters of Mary Fish Silliman. While interesting and a good view of family life of the time, I expected more primary sources to be included.

[Nancy]

Journals, letters of Revolutionary War era woman and her families throughout her life. Gives insight to the culture and society of the day, and how faith and courage of those living during this time helped to shape our country.

[Pat · Rating 4 out of 5]

a great insight to the way it was. Had fun with all the locations here in CT and many references to the local figures in the Revolutionary War. Has a great lead in to another book we have to now read. The Prize.

[T · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful history.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I hastily read this for school.

[Deb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful source material, well interpreted.