Under Saturn's Shadow: The Wounding and Healing of Men

Studies in Jungian Psychology by Jungian Analysts #63

by James Hollis

Satürn, gücünü elinden alacaklar diye çocuklarını yiyen kadim Roma tanrısıydı. Tarih boyunca erkekler Satürn’ün mirasının psikolojik ve ruhsal yükü altında ezilmiş, otoritenin bozulması nedeniyle acı çekmişlerdir. Kadınlardan ve diğer erkeklerden duydukları korku yüzünden hem kendilerini hem de başkalarını yaralamışlardır.The Middle From Misery to Meaning in Midlife (Inner City, 1993) adlı kitabın da yazarı olan James Hollis, Satürn’ün Gölgesi Altında’da bu sorunları ele alıyor ve erkeklere kişisel bütünlük duygularını geri kazanmaları konusunda somut çözümler öneriyor.Erkekler kadar kadınlar da bu kitabı okumaya değer bulacaklar; çalışma, erkeklerin kalplerinde taşıdıkları sırları açığa çıkarıp açıklamakla yetinmiyor, ataerkilliğin en kötü etkilerinden kurtulmak için hepimizin yapması gerekenlere de zengin bir bakış açısı sunuyor.James Hollis, Ph.D., Zürih’teki C.G. Jung Enstitüsü’nden mezun oldu. Kuzey Amerika’da mitoloji ve din üzerine sayısız konferans düzenleyen yazar, genellikle erkek meselelerine ve ortayaş dönemlerine değinir. Hem Philadelphia’da hem de yaşadığı yer olan Linwood, New Jersey’de özel klinikleri bulunmaktadır.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Philosophy, Self Help, Spirituality, Gender, Personal Development

144 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 1994

About the author

James Hollis, Ph. D., was born in Springfield, Illinois, and graduated from Manchester University in 1962 and Drew University in 1967. He taught Humanities 26 years in various colleges and universities before retraining as a Jungian analyst at the Jung Institute of Zurich, Switzerland (1977-82). He is presently a licensed Jungian analyst in private practice in Washington, D.C. He served as Executive Director of the Jung Educational Center in Houston, Texas for many years and now was Executive Director of the Jung Society of Washington until 2019, and now serves on the JSW Board of Directors. He is a retired Senior Training Analyst for the Inter-Regional Society of Jungian Analysts, was first Director of Training of the Philadelphia Jung Institute, and is Vice-President Emeritus of the Philemon Foundation. Additionally he is a Professor of Jungian Studies for Saybrook University of San Francisco/Houston.

He lives with his wife Jill, an artist and retired therapist, in Washington, DC. Together they have three living children and eight grand-children.

He has written a total of seventeen books, which have been translated into Swedish, Russian, German, Spanish, French, Hungarian, Portuguese, Turkish, Italian, Korean, Finnish, Romanian, Bulgarian, Farsi, Japanese, Greek, Chinese, Serbian, Latvian, Ukranian and Czech.

Reviews

[Andrew Marshall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Most men are under-fathered and over-mothered, that's the conclusion of Jungian Analyst James Hollis. I have read many of his books and they always have some profound ideas. At the heart of this one is that men give the women in their lives the responsibility for their emotional welfare (because they have not completely left the shelter of their mother's hearth) and their fathers have not taught them the secrets of being a true man - beyond playing the narrow set of socially acceptable roles of provider and defender. The book has the eight secrets about men (which most men don't know or deny their truth) and seven steps to healing. I use it a lot with clients and I've yet to meet a man who does not find something in it profound. Here's just one of the notes that I took: most men's greatest fear is not death but not having truly lived their life. This book can help you start that journey of self-discovery.

[Pilgrim_girl · Rating 4 out of 5]

A sibling book to 'Women who run with the wolves' by Clarissa Estes. It is very nice to read about problems or qualities that are attributed to one sex only. Both of them make brief apology somewhere in the beginning saying that the opposite sex might be in the same boat provided circumstances are similar. After that both continue talking about their favorite. But if you read both books together you might get some kind of a very peculiar 'stereo effect' =)

And a bit of a quote:

'The Eight Secrets Men Carry Within

1. Men's lives are as much governed by restrictive role expectations as are the lives of women.
2. Men's lives are essentially governed by fear.
3. The power of the feminine is immense in the psychic economy of men.
4. Men collude in a conspiracy of silence whose aim is to suppress their emotional truth.
5. Because men must leave Mother, and transcend the mother complex, wounding is necessary.
6. Men's lives are violent because their souls have been violated.
7. Every man carries a deep longing for his father and for his tribal Fathers.
8. If men are to heal, they must activate within what they did not receive from without.'

Highly recommended.

[Kristīne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bija ok. Ar šāda veida literatūru neaizraujos, bet grāmatu kluba tēma “Vīriešu problēmas” pati pavilka aiz rokas.
Šo to izskaidroja, bet gan jau dziļākai izpratnei ar vienu 150lpp grāmatiņu nepietiks. Kad vīram prasīju par viņa vīrišķajiem noslēpumiem un ievainojumiem, saņēmu grāmatai atbilstošu strupu atbildi - grāmatiņa neko nedod, gribu kaut ko zināt, esot vnk jāprasa. Autors teiktu, klasisks gadījums, kad būtu jāiet terapijā.
Sapņu skaidrojumiem skrēju pāri, bet daudz domāju par savām attiecībām ar radiniekim vīriešiem, ieskaitot dēlu. Vai esmu par maz vai par daudz māte.

[Andrei · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book has many perspicacious observations about male psychology, peppered with beautiful poetic expressions and fascinating details. There were many moments where I recognized parts of myself which made it an interesting read. However, I found myself struggling with both its style and content. It's repetitive: he reiterates his thesis, quite incessantly, to the point where I lost my patience, and when it came to practical advice, I was left frustrated by its explicitly vague nature:

"But always, whenever healing occurs, it is due to a transpersonal, mysterious agency, experienced as grace."

This makes me wince, and there's a sugary atmosphere to the writing which I personally dislike. His idea that the only reason people misbehave, or seek power over others, is because they were raised wrong, that violence only comes from weakness, seems unrealistic to me. I don't imagine surplus-killer predators with strict dominance hierarchies behave the way they do because they have a complicated relationship to their mother. Surely bad parenting is a scourge, but the shining Buddha-minds which he aims for seem to only function via mysterious forces. There's also a hagiography of marginal cultures which I find suspicious.

For example, he offers this fascinating detail:

"One looks with horror at his paintings of the Mandan Sioux initiatory rites. A skewer was driven into the pectoral muscles of the initiate and he was raised by rope from those hooks toward the ceiling of the ceremonial lodge. He was swung around, hanging from the hooks in his breast, until he fainted. Then he was lowered to the ground and when he recovered he placed a finger on a buffalo skull, the digit to be severed as a further sacrifice."

This is super cool as a curiosity, but he makes the questionable assumption that cruelty played no part in this, that its *apparent* cruelty is strictly necessary to make the mysterious archetypal healing energy spring forth, which they arrived at by some sort of magic. I'm not convinced that it's anything more than one of many bungled attempts at trying to form a society; a society/culture which is not exactly thriving, I might add.

I also get the impression he wants to have his cake and eat it too. For example, he glorifies strength and heroism, using mythological stories to explain that you can't throw yourself a pity party, that you gotta go out there and fight. I'm on board. But then he'll also flip that around and talk about how pitiful it is that men are holding back their pain, how the patriarchy sucks, how men use external means to salve their wounds, and how they won't find inner peace that way.

It would be nice if men could be totally attuned to their emotions, willing to express them, and also able to cut them off in service of their families and communities, and also able to take care of their own needs, and also protect their family, and also not be pressured to be a strong-man. This would all be nice, but he himself admits that his profession offers little more than talk on this matter: "As constructive and supportive as therapy may be, it does not involve ritual burial and rebirth, or swinging from the pectorals. No ecstatic vision, only talk. Such talk is necessary, and healing, but it also takes longer."


I didn't come away feeling a lot of confidence in the power of these rituals or visions. He wraps the book up with a good pep talk:

A man still is obliged to fulfill his commitments to others, to meet his responsibilities. Yet he has an inescapable calling to individuation. If he forgets that calling, squanders his brief moment on earth, he is a problem to those others anyhow. To live the journey of the soul is to serve nature, to serve others and to serve that mystery of which we are the experiment.

Do what you gotta do, but, also don't get too caught up in that...?

[Nick Chase · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this PDF on my laptop the past week, which has offered, undoubtedly, the most complex thinking from any book I've read this year. It is based on Jungian Psychology about man (males) + the relationship with society's expectations' values, inner self, and connection with the true path. It is written incredibly well and filled with quotable passages and bathroom sticky note decor, left and right. Being 23 and undergoing some of the transformational phases of adulthood, this book seemed to find me at the right time and offer an abundance of questions to contemplate. I viewed this read more as morning studying than enjoyment, but was filled with wonder throughout. Highly recommend to anyone, even women, who have an urge to learn more about the struggles and questions that man faces throughout the span of life - and the great possibilities of being aware and overcoming these.

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then you will gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer "

[Shavawn M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

James Hollis's book, Under Saturn's Shadow: The Wounding and Healing of Men, is a must-read for both men and women who want to understand the shadow aspect of their relationships. Hollis traces the roots of men's fear in this book that uses depth psychology, dreams, anecdotes from Hollis's analysands, and symbolism to unpack the grief, wounding, and sorrow that men face due to a lack of male mentors and rites of passage to help them navigate adulthood. Because women have an easier time acknowledging their emotions, they are more likely to acknowledge and work on their shadows. Men -- according to Hollis -- are more likely to shut down in the face of tremendous grief or loss, rather than mine it for what it can teach them. His contention is that all men are wounded in one way or another. This is a beautiful book in that it offers those wounded men a way out of the wilderness of their pain. It helped me to understand several of the men in my life better, and for that I am truly grateful.

[Anastasiia Mozghova · Rating 3 out of 5]

нельзя заставить другого пойти в терапию и проделывать необходимую работу или сделать это за него, но можно прочитать эту книгу и попытаться чуть лучше понять.

[Абрахам Хосебр · Rating 5 out of 5]

Джеймс Холліс
"Під тінню Сатурна"


...чоловіки, у яких перший тромбоз
настає, як Різдво, які пливуть за течією, обтяжені договорами та зобов'язаннями, а також неодмінним дотриманням встановленого порядку, в похмуру порожнечу старості і неможливості, втративши доступ до всього, що колись надавало смак життю.

Філіп Ларкін

З перших сторінок стає зрозуміло, що Холліс дійсно глибоко занурений в тексти Юнґа - цитат з його робіт тут багато, також багато покликань на поезію (Рільке, Гете) і прозу (Кафка, Гессе, Ніцше). Книжка читається легко і швидко. Холліс робить те, на що Юнґ ніколи б не пішов - дає списки проблем і списки вирішень.

Базою книги є "Вісім сокровенних чоловічих таємниць". Кожна з яких, у свою чергу стає розділом книги:

1. Життя чоловіка, як і життя жінки, багато у чому визначається обмеженнями, закладеними у рольових очікуваннях.
2. Життя чоловіка значною мірою керується страхом.
3. Фемінність у чоловічій психіці має величезну владу.
4. Чоловіки зберігають мовчання з метою придушити свої справжні емоції.
5. Травма є необхідною, оскільки чоловіки повинні покинути матір та подолати материнський комплекс.
6. Життя чоловіків сповнене насильства, бо насильства зазнала їхня душа.
7. Кожен чоловік відчуває глибоку тугу за своїм батьком і потребує спілкування зі старійшинами своєї спільноти.
8. Якщо чоловіки хочуть зцілитися, то їм слід мобілізувати всі свої внутрішні ресурси, поповнивши те, що вони свого часу не змогли отримати ззовні.

На противагу їм Холліс наводить "Сім кроків до самозцілення":

1. Від-творіть у пам'яті втрату батька.
2. Розповідайте таємниці.
3. Шукайте вчителів та навчайте інших.
4. Ризикніть полюбити чоловіків.
5. Зціліться самі.
6. Здійсніть душевну мандрівку.
7. Приєднуйтеся до «революції» - процесу радикальних змін.

Виходячи з назви книги, ми розуміємо, що більшість уваги приналежиться так званій патріархальній кастрації. Дуже вчасно, паралельно я читав Ноймана, який детально аналізує негативний вплив на індивіда Великої Матері та Великого Батька. Коли з Матір'ю все більш-менш зрозуміло - гіперопіка аж до інцестуозного пожирання і поглинання і намагання зробити з дитини "puer aeternus", зверненого в лоно Несвідомого. То Великий Темний Батько гнобить свого стна шляхом догм і накидання соціальних ролей.

"Практично кожен чоловік може згадати випадки, коли він якось намагався проявити себе, а у відповідь стикався з глузуванням та неприйняттям. Якщо чоловік виглядатиме тендітним і вразливим, він заплатить за це високу ціну. Іноді він відчуває сором перед іншими чоловіками, іноді перед жінками, але найчастіше - перед самим собою. Тим із них, хто постійно зайнятий облогою Небезпечного Замку (Castle Perilous), потрібно все більше впевненості в собі, аби щосили триматися тремтячими руками за міцний образ свого Я. Тому вони погоджуються стати у смиренну позу і мовчати про те, що їм шкодить. Слово «conspiracy» (змова) походить від латинського conspirare («разом дихати»). Чоловіки мовчки дихають разом, аби захистити свою перелякану душу, і продовжують своє болісне переживання травми."

Раніше, чоловіки мали можливість пристосуватись до життя шляхом ініціації, яка дозволяла їм подорослішати. Згадаймо наприклад сцену з "Бійцівського клубу" де Тайлер говорить, що вони разом з головним героєм належать до "покоління вирощеного жінками", "вічних шукачів гуру і наставника".
В сучасному світі такі наставники вимерли. Треба віддати належне Холлісу, який критикує так звані "Чоловічі спільноти", де чоловіки обмальовуюттся фарбами і плачуть один в одного на плечах. Те ж саме стосується і різноманітних психотерапеатів, які й самі знаходяться під Тінню Сатурна. Рятунок - в самовиліковуванні, яке здобувається через знання, життєвий досвід та переогляд цінностей. Юнґ мав рацію, коли казав, що несвідоме має на нас та оточуючих ,тим більший вплив, чим менше ми про нього знаємо.

"Оскільки у чоловіків немає можливості звернутися до старійшин племені і вони вже зрозуміли, що існує вкрай мало мудрих чоловіків (якщо вони є взагалі), не кажучи вже про чоловіків, які пройшли ініціацію, вони зазнають болісних душевних страждань. Через відсутність у психіці чоловіків ключових локусів, міфологічних «точок внутрішньої опори», вони мають навчитися зцілюватися самі. Іноді зцілитися можуть одночасно декілька друзів, але здебільшого чоловік має зцілитися індивідуально.
У своєму романі «Деміан», присвяченому проблемі зцілення душі свого сучасника, Герман Гессе, який перебував у вигнанні, тричі переживав гоніння і навіть отримав Нобелівську премію, зауважив: «У світі мандрівників, коли всі шляхи перетинаються, з'являється відчуття того, що сам цей світ є домом». Але відчуття спільноти, первинного зв'язку виявляється лише «тимчасовим»; потім чоловік знову вирушає в мандрівку одинаком."

У висновку - маємо цікаву, але дещо спрощену для масового читача юнґіанську теорію чоловічих травм. Правильним для кожного після неї стане вивчення базових праць того ж Юнґа, Ноймана, Фон Франц чи Едінґера, бо Холліс знаючи набагато більше, не зміг це все викласти із зрозумілих причин.

[Romeo Cernucan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reading Under Saturn’s Shadow was like watching a 3D movie without the glasses. The book contains some wisdom and fascinating ideas, but its meaning is shattered by unclear writing, overly abstract concepts, and constant references to myths and Jungian notions that take away its authenticity. The language is unnecessarily complex, and the examples are hard to grasp, which made the book feel disconnected from practical reality.

The author ties nearly every psychological and emotional problem men face to their childhood relationships with their parents, particularly their mothers and absent fathers, while ignoring other important factors like biology, social conditions, physical health, or even environmental influences. Everything is viewed through a Jungian lens—dreams, archetypes, anima, imago etc—with little explanation for a noob like me.

That said, one good idea stood out: the loss of social structures that existed in tribes or pre-industrial societies. Back then, wise men initiated boys into adulthood, and fathers passed down skills and labor to their sons, creating a sense of continuity and identity. With industrialization, many boys were uprooted, alienated from their families, and disconnected from mentorship, which left a void. There’s a poignant example in the book of a father, powerless and beaten down by society, taking out his frustration on his son—the only one over who he had any control. That keep a cycle of hatred fear and violence, that leads to extremism, fanaticism and all the other 'isms'.

While there are interesting ideas here and there the writing style made it difficult to fully engage with the book.

3/5 stars

[Behrouz · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book is a must read for all men, and is recommended for everyone. It sheds light to the common sufferings of all men and inner works need to be done for that. The only problem with the book is the relatively hard language that James Hollis chose to right the book on.

[Sashko Valyus · Rating 5 out of 5]

Діло чоловіка це робота, війна і тривога.
Ця книга якраз прийшлась мені в важливий етап життя. Дає багато відповідей на питання які турбували довгий час. Тема яка піднімається дуже важлива зараз, оскільки фемінізм бушує, а SJW не мають в кого вчепитися ми забуваємо що чоловіки також страждають:
— їм нав’язані конкрнеті соціальні ролі і очікують що вони мають їх виконувати
— від них очікують такж певні поведінкові шаблони, якими ми привикли бачити мужиків
— вони бояться і від того стають агресивними
— вони виховані матерями, звідки вони знають як бути чоловіком

Додаткого в книзі розбираються проблеми які вилазять госто зараз, такі як:
— відсутність ритуалу перетворення хлопця в чоловіка, створило цілий соціланий пласт кідалтів (kid+adult) які не встигають подорослішати
— відстуність чітких орієнтирів і настанов які би розказували що має робити чоловік
— постійна залежність від думки матері і життя в її тіні, заставляє чоловіків жити не своїм життям, саме звідси взялись численні чоловічі кризи
— проживання життя «за батьків»
— соціальне табу на відкриту прояву почуттів, призводить до неврозів, соматичних і психічних заховрювань

Загалом автор рекомендує на всяк випадок, прослухати себе, сходити на сеанс психіатра і започатковувати чоловічий рух. Щоб мати можливість бути тим ким ти справді є

[Sandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent book for men to better understand their struggles and for the women who care about men. I recommend this book to male patients and encourage them to apply its principles to their lives. Hollis quotes Jung about the "too-small life" being the cause of much unhappiness:
"I have frequently seen people become neurotic when they content themselves with inadequate or wrong answers to the questions of life. They seek position, marriage, reputation, outward success or money, and remain unhappy and neurotic even when they have attained what they were seeking. Such people are usually confined within too narrow a spiritual horizon. Their life has not sufficient content, sufficient meaning. If they are enabled to develop into more spacious personalities, the neurosis generally disappears." (Memories, Dreams, Reflectionsw, p. 140).
May we all, male or female, live the spaciousness of our lives fully.

[Banu Mihai · Rating 5 out of 5]

O carte cu adevărat excepțională care seamănă o profunzime desăvârșită în mentalul cititorului. Și cuget că dacă este de actualitate în era noastră modernă, în momentul apariției (1994) a reprezentat un semnal de alarmă evident pentru societatea americană.
Voi reveni cu o recenzie amănunțită în scurt timp .📚📚📚

[Selton Chagas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sem dúvida, um dos melhores livros que li em 2020. E nos abre muitas possibilidade para nós, homens, pensarmos no sofrimento e na cura de nossas questões mediadas pelo patriarcado.

O mito de Saturno, o deus romano da Agricultura, nos acompanha em nossa jornada masculina numa complexa relação com o poder. Que ao se relacionar com o patriarcado, desenvolvem expressivas estruturas de desigualdades que causam também extremo sofrimento aos homens.

O autor explica, logo no começo do livro, os oito segredos que todos os homens escondem. Segredos baseados nas relações com nossas masculinidades, mas também como o feminino que há em todos nós. Por meio de uma abordagem psicanalítica, e com muitos exemplos pessoais e de casos que cuidou ao longo de sua carreira, Hollis nos guia em meio a esses segredos, descortinando-os e apontando possibilidades de ressignificação.

Muitos de nós somos ensinados a buscar artifícios como drogas, álcool, violência física e emocional contra outros homens e mulheres para dar vazão às feridas causadas pela sombra de Saturno. Sofrimento este que faz com que muitos homens não conheçam e reconheçam seus próprios desejos e potencialidades, bem como faz com que desconheçam sua própria humanidade.

A mim, e acredito que a muitos homens, sua leitura faz-nos mergulhar em dilemas que vivenciamos ao longo de nossa trajetória, como a necessidade de provar "ser homem" mesmo sem saber exatamente o que isso significa. Os ritos de passagens em sociedades anteriores às industriais, que tinham esse conteúdo simbólico, se perderam historicamente, o que, na interpretação do autor, deixa a muitos de nós perdidos e sem orientação para construir uma relação saudável com o masculino e o feminino. Mas não há outro caminho se não ir adiante para construir essa outra relação. Que se dá de forma individual e coletiva.

Sugiro esse livro a todo homem que questione os padrões históricos do patriarcado, que seguramente estão junto com as estruturas capitalistas limitando as possibilidades de homens e mulheres de SERMOS.

[Pavel Annenkov · Rating 5 out of 5]

О ЧЕМ КНИГА:
Интересная работа о том, как мужчине в ХХ веке сложно избавиться от груза ролей и ожиданий, которое накладывает на него семья и общество. Эта книга тоже на 5 баллов, как и предыдущая "Перевал в середине пути". Теперь я со временем точно прочитаю всё, что написал Джеймс Холлис.

ГЛАВНАЯ МЫСЛЬ КНИГИ:
На каждом мужчине лежит бремя ролей и ожиданий, представляющее собой тень Сатурна. Чтобы сбросить с себя э��от груз общества и окружения, мы должны измениться сами и сделать это индивидуально. Все изменения начинаются изнутри. Поэтому задача оказывается трудной, но все равно лучше решать её, чем навсегда жить неосознанной жизнью.

КАКАЯ БЫЛА ЦЕЛЬ ЧТЕНИЯ:
Разобраться в роли и месте мужчины в современном мире.

ИНТЕРЕСНЫЕ МОМЕНТЫ ИЗ КНИГИ:
- «Жизнь мужчины куда больше определяется его ролевыми ожиданиями, чем государством, в котором он живет.»

- «Силы бессознательного, общественные институты и идеологии, направляющие нашу жизнь, настолько инертны, что нельзя надеяться на быстрое изменение общества и характерных для него социально-половых ролей.» Не надо ждать, что в течении моей жизнь изменится отношение социума к сложным жизненным вопросам. Надо самому разбираться в себе и строить свою жизнь. Для этого важны книги и самоанализ.

- «Это неправда, что все, чего мы не знаем, не причинит нам боли; в действительности все, чего мы не знаем, причинит нам очень сильную боль»

- «Мужчине требуется год посещать психотерапевта, чтобы достичь того состояния, в котором женщина, как правило, начинает терапию, — с точки зрения его способности выражать свои актуальные чувства и переживания»

- «Внешняя власть может возникнуть только на основе внутреннего авторитета. Эту истину должны познать на практике все мужчины. Так как им редко удается почувствовать свой внутренний авторитет, они вынуждены всю свою жизнь уступать другим или же скрываться за своим социальным статусом, компенсируя ощущение собственной внутренней слабости»

- «Быть мужчиной — значит знать, чего ты хочешь, а затем мобилизовать свои внутренние ресурсы, чтобы достичь желаемого. Такой взгляд может показаться слишком упрощенным, но это не так. Ибо в самом начале человеку крайне трудно понять, чего он хочет. Как ему отделить внутреннюю истину от какофонии личных комплексов и предписаний культуры? И где человеку взять мужество, чтобы жить в реальном мире, после того как он обретет свою внутреннюю истину?»

ЧТО Я БУДУ ПРИМЕНЯТЬ:
Еще сильнее снижу ожидания от людей вокруг меня.

ЕЩЕ НА ЭТУ ТЕМУ:
📗Натаниэль Бранден "Шесть столпов самооценки"

[Craig Werner · Rating 4 out of 5]

This provides an excellent introduction to Jungian understandings of the problems facing men in a culture that has devalued and distorted masculinity in horrifying and seemingly intractable ways. (Turn on a news feed for 15 seconds for evidence.). This lists of the eight problems facing men--devaluing women, hiding secrets from each other and ourselves, the necessity of wounding--and of paths to healing--breaking silence, attending to inner work, mentoring and being mentored--will be familiar to anyone grounded in Jung. So, while I didn't learn a whole lot, I value the book and wouldn't hesitate to recommend it, especially to younger men who know something's wrong but aren't sure what.

[Eugene · Rating 5 out of 5]

when a boy transforms into a man internally? why some are not transforming. Lot of questions answered in this book

[Andreea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it all.

[Felipe Petersen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Saturn’s father, Uranus, hated his children for he feared their potential. When Saturn replaced his father, he was surrounded by feelings of power, jealously and insecurity – ‘where power is, love is not’, according to Jung. The book argues that most men have grown up under the shadow of this Saturnian legacy and proposes ways for men to look to their inner side and become better people.
The author shares men’s eight secrets:
1. Men's lives are as much governed by restrictive role expectations as are the lives of women.
Most men are still ruled by the expectations to provide for their family, to have attractive women, etc. Men must be honest with themselves and understand what makes them happy and overcome their fear of thinking about it and stop lying to themselves.

2. Men's lives are essentially governed by fear.
Men think they cannot be afraid, and this is a fear they all try to hide. This requires self-honesty to be overcome.

3. The power of the feminine is immense in the psychic economy of men.
Men project their mother on the feminine side and extrapolate their behaviour/personality to all women. They fear opening up as women do, and they do not become as close as they should be.

4. Men collude in a conspiracy of silence whose aim is to suppress their emotional truth.
Men are afraid to share what damages them because most have suffered a situation where they were shamed for doing so.

5. Because men must leave Mother, and transcend the mother complex, wounding is necessary.
Men must wound to understand the dread reality of life and face a new level of consciousness.

6. Men's lives are violent because their souls have been violated.
And this violence needs to be acknowledged so it can be treated.

7. Every man carries a deep longing for his father and for his tribal Fathers.
Older societies used to have rites of passage to symbolize the transformation from boy to man.

8. If men are to heal, they must activate within what they did not receive from without.'


The author then shares 7 steps to healing:
1. Re-member the loss of the fathers.
Understand what the wounds of your past masculine references were and avoid recreating their behaviour.

2. Tell the secrets.
Wherever there is denial, the wound festers. (i) Tell the truth of your soul to yourself, (ii) live that truth and (iii) tell it to others.

3. Seek mentors and mentor others.

4. Risk loving men.
To love other men, you have to love yourself. This is the greatest risk in this endeavor.

5. Heal thyself.
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heat and try to love the questions themselves… Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then you will gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

6. Recover the soul’s journey.
Men at this point must be free to make their first secret known: our lives have a role definition as have women’s. Understand your true motivations and find what matters to you.

7. Join the revolution
Individual power can go great lengths towards helping change this reality.

At some points the book really did make me feel question men’s role expectations in society (and there seems to be research corroborating this, such as one that 72% of men agree that men being able to support a family financially is very important for a partner, while 71% of women think the same; 25% of men agree that women being able to support a family financially is very important for a partner, while 39% of women think the same), but some of it is too repetitive and not very actionable (and I still question its underlying argument a bit – the pros of being a man certainly outweigh the cons).

[Guilherme Zeitounlian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Albeit short, this book took me a while to read. That was because of two reasons.
1) The book is short: the author does not expand much on the main points. So you do have to read carefully.
2) I found myself constantly pausing, book in hand, to stare at the horizon and reflect upon my life.

Hollis explains how our society created fixed roles for men and women, and women began to question these roles in the last decades. They found roles models, fought for their rights and, although there is much to be done, their fight is on. Good for them.

But men are at a loss. We lost our rites of passage. We are bereft of role models, have been taught to repress our emotions and our true selves, and, worst of all, we are unaware of all this.

We end up wounding others and ourselves in this process - and burying ourselves in an intense pursuit of work, sex, alcohol, drugs, power... what have you.

And note: there is nothing inherently wrong with any of those. But many men are using them to numb themselves.

The result is that we end up living a life unfulfilled, leaving our true selves on the table, and never realizing our true potential.

This is not a book about the "male movement" or anything like that. It is a book about personal transformation. About facing your fears.

And about bringing to consciousness some issues - so that you can work on them.

What I liked the most about the book is that the author realizes this is a systemic issue: a consequence of our current society.

But, at the same time, he does not get on a soapbox and try to preach or invent policies.

Instead, he acknowledges that this is a personal journey, and quotes Jung in why the transformation must begin with each of us.

"Such a man knows that whatever is wrong in the world is in himself, and if he only learns to deal with his own shadow he has done something real for the world.

He has succeeded in shouldering at least an infinitesimal part of the gigantic, unsolved social problems of our day.

These problems are mostly so difficult because they are poisoned by mutual projections.

How can anyone see straight when he does not even see himself and the darkness he unconsciously carries with him into all his dealings?”

This is a great book, and I believe any man interested in self-development, emotional balance, and happiness would find some value in reading it.

[Jeri Rowe · Rating 5 out of 5]

It must've been three years ago when I bought "Under Saturn's Shadow." It came recommended by a therapist I was seeing. I'll call him Gene. I saw Gene nearly every week for at least 15 months, and he helped me immensely. He helped me repair my marriage and make me see -- and understand -- what had been unseen and barely understood my whole life. As for "Under Saturn's Shadow," though, I kept it on my bookshelf. I'd see the cover, and I'd be reminded of that precarious time in my life when I felt everything I cared about was slipping through my fingers. This past weekend, though, I picked it up. Life was better, I was better, I was in between books, and I felt it was time face what I feared. I'm glad I did.

James Hollis' "Under Saturn's Shadow" is full of OMG moments because I see myself in its pages. I see what I was, and I saw what I'm working to be. And as I read, I kept hearing Gene's voice in my head. I can see why he recommended I read Hollis' book.

I kept a pencil and Post-its at my elbow while I read because I knew I would go back to "Under Saturn's Shadow" time and again for reference and reinvigoration. Many passages grabbed me. Here are two:

"Our mythology is full of heroic adventures -- mountains climbed, ogres fought, dragons defeated -- but it takes even more courage for a man to speak his emotional truths. The hero quest today is not through the physical world but through the badlands of the soul."

"Most men use their job to validate themselves, but they do not feel valued even when they haev achieved success. They use work to validate their identity when they have not done the work of individuation. As Albert Camus noted, "Without work, all life goes rotten. But when work is soulless, life stifles and dies.' While we cannot ignore economic realities, we must also ensure that our work give meaning and substance to our lives. It is necessary for men to decide anew, then, who they are and how they will spend their precious energy."

Hollis' book came out in 1994. Do the math. That's a long time ago. But what you'll find in his 135 pages is pretty timeless, incredibly helpful. And if you're a man at any age working to answer the emotional questions in your life, "Under Saturn's Shadow" will show that you are far from alone. He will give you tips on how to answer those questions and how you can feel more whole.

[Drick · Rating 3 out of 5]

Drawing on Jungian psychology, particularly his concepts of anima and animus, Hollis talks about the woundedness of men in relationship to the lasting impact of their father and mother. He offers his perspective on why men tend to be competitive to a fault, to hold in emotions, often feel depressed despite outward success, and the controlling and even abuse of women. As I read this book I found myself identifying with parts of it, and not connecting with other parts. On the other hand, I thought of many men who displayed some if not all the characteristics and behaviors he describes. Hollis is to be commended for raising up the fact that men are wounded as are women by some of our dominant cultural paradigms.

[Rafal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Można mieć wątpliwości co do weryfikowalności przedstawianych tez, ilości przykładów literackich i subiektywnych interpretacji snów - ale i tak książka jest zaskakująco ciekawa.

Hollis daje kolejną perspektywę na potrzebę istnienia większych narracji oraz wypełnienia życia treścią i sensem (choć oby nie były nim religia, naród czy inne modne dziś dogmaty).

Interesujące były też rozważania dotyczące roli i wagi niepraktykowanych dziś rytuałów przejścia (i infantylizujacych ducha konsekwencji ich braku), niejasnych definicji męskości prowadzących do trywializacji osobowości (i ograniczaniu siebie do person), konieczności szacunku wobec jednostki, czy lęku przed śmiercią (a właściwie przed brakiem własnego życia).

[Matt · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book really got me thinking about men's lives and what's missing. Several things stuck with me, for example, the rites of passage and what they all had in common in tribal societies. The author shared his own experience with football and compared that to ritual scarring. It really spoke to my own experience with MMA.
I also liked that the internal battles were respected more than the external battles. And I find myself agreeing with his point-of-view that political movements aren't nearly as important as inner work and outer honesty.

[Федор Кривов · Rating 3 out of 5]

Стиль Холлиса - не слишком структурированные рассуждения - все-таки мне не очень заходит, тяжело уловить суть в длинном повествовании. Ценные мысли:

Это неправда, что все, чего мы не знаем, не причинит нам боли; в действительности все, чего мы не знаем, причинит нам очень сильную боль, и тогда мы, как Самсон, вслепую обрушим храм на свои головы.
Страх несоответствия образу мужчины – это самая заметная часть сатурнианской тени; ее составляют соперничество, отношения «победитель – проигравший», результативность как мера состоятельности мужчины. Мужчина, который хвастается своей дорогой машиной, огромным домом, высокой должностью или статусом, в той или иной мере компенсирует свое ощущение собственной малой значимости.
Ибо такой человек знает: все, что плохо в мире, плохо в нем самом, и если только он научится правильно обращаться с собственной тенью, значит, он уже сделал что-то реальное для всего мира. Он добился успеха в том, что может вынести на своих плечах какую-то бесконечно малую часть всех гигантских нерешенных социальных проблем нашего времени. В своем большинстве эти проблемы такие трудные потому, что отягощены взаимными проекциями. Как же может человек смотреть вперед, если он не видит ни самого себя, ни той темноты, которую он бессознательно привносит с собой в то, что делает?
Там, где есть власть, не остается места для любви.
Хотя совершенно ясно, что женщины не хотят превращаться в матерей для своих мужей, ясно и то, что многие мужчины стараются добиться от жены безусловного принятия и заботливого отношения, присущего «хорошей» матери. Я видел много мужчин, супружеские отношения которых по разным причинам уже давно зашли в тупик, но при этом они не могли сохранять спокойствие даже при мысли о разводе. Мысль о расставании вселяла ужас в ребенка, покидающего дом, чтобы сделать шаг в неизвестное.
Прежде чем он смог прийти к согласию со своим сообществом и принять его требования, ему пришлось совладать с собственной яростью, сильным стремлением к одиночеству, переживанием боли и жалостью к себе. Представший перед ним образ Геракла был проекцией его собственного героизма. Филоктет исцелился только после полного возвращения к жизни, а не в результате ухода от нее. Пещера, в которой он собирался обрести исцеление, по существу, символизирует его материнской комплекс: царство уютной темноты, в котором тепло и влажно и появляется ощущение жалости к себе и одиночества
Пока мужчина не сможет признать свою зависимость, которая, говоря иначе, является зависимостью внутреннего ребенка, он будет либо тщетно пытаться найти опору в нездоровых отношениях с материнским суррогатом, либо испытывать гнев в отношении жены или подруги, которая не отвечает его требованиям. Большинству мужчин должно было бы стать стыдно при одном лишь допущении, что они ищут мать в жене или подруге, но, если у них не получается отделить свои детские отношения с матерью от реальных отношений с женщиной, они будут периодически отыгрывать старый, регрессивный сценарий.
Юнг пишет об этом прямо и откровенно: Как правило, самое сильное психологическое воздействие на ребенка оказывает жизнь, которую не прожили его родители.
Благодаря матери ребенок может ощущать мир как заботливую и защищающую его среду. Благодаря отцу он может получить поддержку, чтобы войти в мир и начать бороться за свою жизнь. Разумеется, мать также может помочь ему в борьбе за жизнь, а отец – позаботиться о нем, но архетипически они играют свойственные им роли. Мать активизирует материнский комплекс, который должен трансформироваться так, чтобы у ребенка исчезли многие внутренние ограничения; в противном случае он сохранит зависимость и вовремя не расстанется с детством. Так, например, сам того не осознавая, он может побуждать жену играть роль заботливой матери и гневаться на нее, если она от этого отказывается, хотя сознательно он бы не позволил ей исполнять эту роль. Или же он может отказаться от своего внутреннего странствия и попасть в зависимость от другого мужчины, бессознательно пытаясь найти в нем отсутствующий образ отца. Он может быть зол на отца из-за его недостатков, или просто испытывать злость из-за отсутствия социально признанных авторитетов, или тайно скорбеть по потерянному для него отцу.
Сыну необходимо видеть отца и в окружающем его мире. Ему нужен отцовский пример, помогающий понять, как существовать в этом мире, как работать, как избегать неприятностей, как строить правильные отношения с внутренней и внешней фемининностью. Ему необходимо активизировать свою маскулинность и с помощью внешней отцовской модели, и непосредственно, через самоутверждение. Сказать мальчику: «не плачь», «не будь маменькиным сынком» – значит только продлить его самоотчуждение в будущем. Каждому сыну отец должен показать, как быть эмоционально честным, как подниматься с земли и продолжать драться, то есть на примере отца сын должен увидеть, как пережить необходимую травму. Ему нужно показать, что испытывать страх совершенно естественно для каждого человека и, ощущая этот страх, мужчина все равно должен жить своей жизнью и совершать свое странствие.
Ницше как-то заметил, что основной целью брака является беседа. Цель отношений, основанных на взаимном согласии, примером которых являются супружеские, – не заботиться друг о друге (ибо это приведет к активизации детско-родительских комплексов), а способствовать личностному развитию супруга и развиваться вместе с ним. Эти значит, что отношения между людьми должны быть диалектическими: это откровенное общение, в котором существуют и компромисс, и личностное развитие.
Мужчина должен задать себе вопрос: чего именно я боюсь и почему не двигаюсь вперед? Какие самые сокровенные задачи я точно должен решить? Каково мое призвание в жизни? В какой мере я могу совместить работу с потребностями своей души? Как я могу строить отношения с другими и при этом развиваться индивидуально?

[Tomasz Sokołowski · Rating 5 out of 5]

sophisticated, challenging, vulnerable

These are three words I would describe this book with.
It can look innocent counting only 130 pages, but each one of them is filled to the fullest by the yet unspoken wisdom of a man “standing on the shoulders of giants”. James Hollis uses beautiful baroque style to colourfully depict meanders of the healing soul’s journey. Still, if one takes a closer look, these decorative details are structured in a thoughtful way and serve a greater purpose. Purpose of examining every inch and ounce of the man’s soul even if it’s uncomfortable.
Sometimes it felt like the information repeats itself and it’s one big juicy Ouroboros, nevertheless I see how there could be a cognitive error on my side, since the book is pretty demanding. Not only because of its language and references reaching the deepest history of a humankind, but mainly because reading it requires the specific state of mind. One must be prepared to dive deep into his inner world while maintaining an acute awareness of what is happening underneath the facade of cautiously chosen letters.
I wouldn’t call it a typical self-help lecture, rather a philosophical essay which’s conclusion gives some sobering advice about managing this short pause between two great mysteries.

[Tim Paggi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hollis draws from Jungian and Freudian concepts to identify problems of post-industrialization masculinity. He points out that contemporary men have no rites of passage (such as walkabouts or even hazing rituals), and they also lack familial labor identities (such as learning how to farm or blacksmith from their fathers). These deficiencies leave “wounds” upon men’s souls, which they seek to heal through machismo, business, unhealthy sex, politics, etc. Men grieve for fathers they never really had and are “overmothered” which causes psychological complexes. They cannot speak meaningfully about this because men “collude in a conspiracy of silence whose aim is to suppress their emotional truth.”

I decided to read this because I’m writing a haunted house book that is also about men and masculinity, and a friend told me his therapist recommended this book to him. I’m pretty suspicious about Jungian and Freudian stuff but reading this, I found a lot of it rang true. This was also written a while ago (90s?) but seems relevant, as there is something of a crisis of masculinity and manhood today, I’d argue, that’s many times worse than it’s ever been in my lifetime.

In the end, Hollis says there are no rituals or rites, and therefore men must work through their inner struggles with therapy and being emotionally honest with other men. They must embrace change and fear and May even be required to hurt others in the process (ie: have difficult conversations with their families and friends). Hollis argues that men are inherently individualistic and need to experience adventure in order to come into themselves, and quotes Rilke as having said “there is room in us/for a second large and timeless life.”

[Bruno Henrique Marcondes Oliveira · Rating 5 out of 5]

E não é que o Patriarcado também me faz mal mesmo?! 🫠


Quotes:

"Enquanto não formos livres, ninguém o será."

"Como é raro termos um amigo emocionalmente íntimo. A intimidade entre os homens é fortemente superficial, se comparada à que existe entre as mulheres. A maioria dos homens preferiria morrer a conversar a respeito dos seus medos, da sua impotência ou das suas frágeis esperanças."

"Um dos inimigos fundamentais dos homens é o medo, medo do feminino e medo de ser ferido pelos outros homens. O patriarcado, que substitui o amor pelo poder e mede o valor em função do elemento material, venerando suas próprias ereções em vez de o divino, é uma compensação para esse medo."

"Os filhos precisam ver o pai vivendo a própria vida, lutando, sendo emotivo, falhando e caindo, levantando-se de novo, sendo humano. Quando o filho não ve o pai vivendo com sinceridade sua jornada pessoal, terá então de encontrar seu paradigma em outro lugar, ou, pior ainda, viver inconscientemente a jornada que o pai não empreendeu."

"É preferível o demônio que conhecemos à ambiguidade e a tensão do desconhecido"

[Alex Osa · Rating 5 out of 5]

So it's hard. It's hard to accept yourself as you are and to dig deep inside yourself, inside pains and traumas.
James Hollis gave, personally me the possibility, to reflect on my actions, on things that I was not proud of. It is not an easy journey to read this book cause it gives you the possibility to see yourself in the mirror as you are with a lot of traumas and pains. It reminds you that you're not alone and that many others share similar feelings.
I strongly recommend this book to all men for a deeper understanding of themselves and to women for gaining insight into the other side of the story. Perhaps this can help us begin to understand and accept each other more.

[Bogdan Skaskiv · Rating 4 out of 5]

Книга юнгіанського аналітика розповідає про походження чоловічих психічних травм та шляхи до їх зцілення, про ролі, що нав'язуються суспільством та травми, що передаються від батьків, про відсутність ініціації в сучасному світі, що не дає чоловікам до кінця сепаруватись. Автор цитує багато джерел та поєднує свої спостереження, зокрема під час розмов з пацієнтами, з поезією та літературою.

Якби не складність письма та відсутність пояснень багатьох термінів, можна було б ставити вищу оцінку, але і без цього книга може бути корисна для саморефлексії (і не лише для чоловіків).