Shattered

by Hanif Kureishi

On Boxing Day 2022, in Rome, Hanif Kureishi had a fall. When he came to, in a pool of blood, he was horrified to realise he had lost the use of his limbs. He could no longer walk, write or wash himself. He could do nothing without the help of others, and required constant care in a hospital. So began an odyssey of a year through the medical systems of Rome and Italy, with the hope of somehow being able to return home, to his house in London.

While confined to a series of hospital wards, he felt compelled to write, but being unable to type or to hold a pen, he began to dictate to family members the words which formed in his head. The result was an extraordinary series of dispatches from his hospital bed – a diary of a life in pieces, recorded with rare honesty, clarity and courage.

As Hanif wrote, early on: ‘A few days ago, a bomb went off in my life, but this bomb has also shattered the lives of those around me. My partner, my children, my friends.’

This book takes these hospital dispatches – edited, expanded and meticulously interwoven with new writing – and charts both a shattering and a a new life born of pain and loss, but animated by new feelings – of gratitude, humility and love.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Audiobook, Biography Memoir, Autobiography, Medical

336 pages, Hardcover

First published February 4, 2025

About the author

Hanif Kureishi is the author of novels (including The Buddha of Suburbia, The Black Album and Intimacy), story collections (Love in a Blue Time, Midnight All Day, The Body), plays (including Outskirts, Borderline and Sleep With Me), and screenplays (including My Beautiful Laundrette, My Son the Fanatic and Venus). Among his other publications are the collection of essays Dreaming and Scheming, The Word and the Bomb and the memoir My Ear at His Heart.

Kureishi was born in London to a Pakistani father and an English mother. His father, Rafiushan, was from a wealthy Madras family, most of whose members moved to Pakistan after the Partition of India in 1947. He came to Britain to study law but soon abandoned his studies. After meeting and marrying Kureishi’s mother Audrey, Rafiushan settled in Bromley, where Kureishi was born, and worked at the Pakistan Embassy.

Kureishi attended Bromley Technical High School where David Bowie had also been a pupil and after taking his A levels at a local sixth form college, he spent a year studying philosophy at Lancaster University before dropping out. Later he attended King’s College London and took a degree in philosophy. In 1985 he wrote My Beautiful Laundrette, a screenplay about a gay Pakistani-British boy growing up in 1980’s London for a film directed by Stephen Frears. It won the New York Film Critics Best Screenplay Award and an Academy Award nomination for Best Screenplay.

His book The Buddha of Suburbia (1990) won the Whitbread Award for the best first novel, and was also made into a BBC television series with a soundtrack by David Bowie. The next year, 1991, saw the release of the feature film entitled London Kills Me; a film written and directed Kureishi.

His novel Intimacy (1998) revolved around the story of a man leaving his wife and two young sons after feeling physically and emotionally rejected by his wife. This created certain controversy as Kureishi himself had recently left his wife and two young sons. It is assumed to be at least semi-autobiographical. In 2000/2001 the novel was loosely adapted to a movie Intimacy by Patrice Chéreau, which won two Bears at the Berlin Film Festival: a Golden Bear for Best Film, and a Silver Bear for Best Actress (Kerry Fox). It was controversial for its unreserved sex scenes. The book was translated into Persian by Niki Karimi in 2005.

He was appointed Commander of the Order of the British Empire (CBE) in the 2008 New Year Honours.

Kureishi is married and has a pair of twins and a younger son.

Reviews

[Allanah Marlow]

Tragic but witty. Sticking with my rule of not rating autobiographies because how can I really judge you for the way you choose to tell your story.

[Lee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting and slightly iffy in equal proportion. Hard to take issue with any such account of a man suffering so horribly, but Kureishi -- admirably self-effacing -- brings a bit too much ick. Not just the graphic day-to-day tribulations of the confined and immobile, but a grinding (to this reader) obsession with priapic matters. Well written, as you might imagine, but not massively ingratiating and a bit queasy.

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

(3.5) I vaguely remembered hearing that Hanif Kureishi had been paralyzed in an accident, but it wasn't until my library ordered a copy that this book entered my radar. In weekly dispatches from his hospital bed, the novelist/screenwriter chronicles his adjustment to severe disability and almost total dependency. Long before a year has passed, he's relinquished shame over paid carers wiping his bottom: he has no dignity left to lose. The topics range from his childhood and early attempts at writing to his current situation and his attitude toward sex - sexuality being one of the things he was saddest to have taken away, pretty much instantly. He spends the whole year in hospitals in Rome (where he was staying with his partner for Christmas when he had his fall) and London and rejoices to be able to finally go back home, though in a wheelchair. The fact that this was dictated to family members and later revised into a book accounts for the occasional repetition and tonal sameness. Melanie Reid's The World I Fell Out Of is the better account of adult acquired disability, but this is still a solid memoir and one that will draw in people new to medical reads. I plumped for a free subscription to the author's Substack, The Kureishi Chronicles, so I can keep following his progress.

[Briar Lomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Picked this up because I liked the cover (Lol), but then was surprised to read, relate, enjoy very much.
Hanif was fully paralysed after a freak accident and this book follows the next year of his life in multiple hospitals, as dictated to his partner and sons from his bed. After my own freak accident last year (thankfully not as serious or life changing) I really empathised with the authors thoughts and feelings in this time. I found the themes interesting, honest, at times highly self indulgent - but he has very little else going on so I'll happily give him that one.
A reminder that health, mobility, connection, sex.. are all precious and often finite things, we best glory in them while we can.

[Daniel Oster · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5- I appreciate the rawness and honesty, but he borders on insufferable at times

[Tomás ☁️ · Rating 3 out of 5]

unas memorias tras el accidente que dejó al autor prácticamente en estado vegetal, que se adaptan perfectamente a lo que arthur frank llama narrativa de padecimiento #tesis #mierdicinayliteratura que es el motivo por el que llegué a este libro

es lo primero que leo del autor y para mí, que el concepto spoiler no aplica y que me gusta conocer la vida de los autores, siento que es un buen sitio por el que empezar: en esta especie de diario de su año ingresado en distintos hospitales se cuela una interesantísima lección sobre escritura y unas pinceladas a su vida y obra que me ayudan a hacerme una idea de quién es el autor y qué quiere contarnos a sus lectores

durante gran parte del libro me asaltaba la pregunta que me hago a menudo con estas narrativas de padecimiento de las que antes hablaban: ¿cuál es su valor literario? teniendo claro cuál es el vital/terapéutico de la escritura. En ocasiones parecía una concatenación de anécdotas más o menos superfluas que a ratos son tiernas y a ratos cómicas, muy ágiles siempre

menos mal que leí hasta el final los agradecimientos: el autor pide donaciones para poder sobrevivir en un Reino Unido donde el NHS y los cuidados se desmoronan. un broche de oro que me dio un vuelco al corazón

[Tom Mooney · Rating 4 out of 5]

A superb memoir: moving, funny, unflinchingly honest and inspiring. Kureishi has lost a lot of things as a result of the catastrophic accident he suffered, but his sense of humour and storytelling ability are not among them.

[Victor The Reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Shattered” centers on writer Hanif Kureishi’s long road to recovery after he endures a fatal fall during Boxing Day in Rome in 2022 and must have constant care while getting support from his loved ones. We also learn about his writing career and the people he’s met and worked with.

For a story about recovery and strength, it really has a very open and unusual feel. It’s also not as emotional or gripping as I was expecting as while we learn a lot about his life, we also get his opinion and thoughts on topics that can get a bit too suggestive. Still, it’s a catching read. B+ (83%/Very Good)

[ᛚᚨᚱᚲᚨ × ᚠᛖᚾᚱᛁᚱ (Semi hiatus) · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am determined to keep writing, it has never mattered to me more.

I've never heard of Hanif Kureishi before, but the title and the blurb made me instantly pick Shattered up.
And... I wish I didn't.
I wish I could say that I liked the openness of the author, and the way in which he talks about everything - from his new life, to taboo topics. But the latter made me almost put the book down. A lot of his thoughts are "old-school", and not in a good way. Boys will be boys, am I right? And what happened to being self-entitled and with the only opinion that matters? Let's bring it back! F*ck pronouns and inclusiveness, am I right? We became a bunch of softies... where did the writers that didn't give a damn go?
He's definitely not the kind of person I would hang out with - he rubs me the wrong way. I don't know if he really thinks such things (disturbing), or if he said them just to be EdGy.

Sex and drugs go together, like wine and a good meal. The idea isn't that people should be traumatized by sex, or drugs, but that they should be taught to love them, as essential pleasures.

Some people are censorial, excited, if not turned on, by controlling others' speech and freedoms. There is an element of the left which is bursting with aggressive self-righteousness, and self-defeating puritanism.

I reached the place in the book where John Self, the protagonist, decides to try to rape his girlfriend. It's a comic and nasty scene which hasn't aged well, but which reminds us of how transgressive literature can be.

Not interested in this author whatsoever, even when I found some (few) reflections interesting.

Rating: ⭐

Quotes:
💬 [...]There probably are no stuck writers, just resting ones, and those who wait.

💬 As babies our first form of exchange is that of being loved. We are kissed and caressed, gurgled at and appreciated. We are loved into the world and even as we age we expect love from others as an initial impulse. We don't expect to be harmed, and if we are, we are shocked. As we get older we may become suspicious, afraid and disillusioned, but the expectation of love is never erased.

💬 I love secrets - though not so much my own - and one of my favourite parts of conversation is to hear the confidences of others. Secrets are the currency of intimacy.

💬 This place I occupy is inhabited by disabled people and their carers. Being semi-immobilized here is not such a big deal. People do not talk down to you. But becoming a disabled person in an able-bodied world is another matter. I fear the eyes of others, and what they will think when they see me. I dread my fantasies about what healthy and exciting lives they lead in their fit bodies. I will never be like them again; I will have to learn how to inhabit who I have become. But I do not wish to, there is a struggle in me, I do not want to give up my former self.

💬 We are the animals looking for laughs.

💬 How innocent we must seem when we don't know our fate. A man walking unknowingly into a disaster.
We are in constant development, never the same as yesterday. All the time we are changing, there is no going back. My world has taken a zig where previously it zagged; it has been smashed, remade and altered, and there is nothing I can do about it. But I will not go under; I will make something of this.

[Debby Binns · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to this as BBC’s book of the week. Its a memoir about the accident that Hanif Kureishi (author of the Budha of Surburbia) paralysed after falling over in Rome. This is a very real insight into what it means to be disabled – having to adapt a normal life to a life full of constraints. He doesn’t shy away for detailing the differences between his new and old life and it was difficult to listen to at many points - but brilliantly written.

[Lulabim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Qué golfo y bonito eres, Hanif, dale fuerte.

[Ammar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Raw
Intimate
Depressive
Funny
Sad
And a glimpses of hope

[Patrick Hewett · Rating 4 out of 5]

terrifying experience reading this and hearing Hanif's reflections on his paralysis in 2023. horrible to hear how this man who had a lifestyle full of a love for life and sex drugs & rock n roll, then was instantly plunged into a world of misery, where he is completely dependent on others.

A lot of this is his reflections on his past, art and generally capturing his conversations with others on the ward. It captures both his warmth and his selfishness in a very human, endearing way.

i think I would have enjoyed it more if it was structured into a fleshed out narrative instead of its diary entry form, but doesn't take away from what a great voice he has.

hope he's doing ok right now.

[Natasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Within weeks of this accident, Hanif Kureishi, though he did not have the use of his hands, started doing the one thing he does best- write. He started dictating a series of dispatches from his hospital bed in Italy. His family took down his words and posted them on social media. For a few weeks. His readers waited for anxiously for these dispatches, and we all hoped that someday when he was better, they would be collated into a book. He must have heard our collective desire, because those writings were revised, expanded and edited and put together into a memoir, Shattered.

The early dispatches were practical and dealt with his immediate surroundings- the room he was in, the people he met, the medical procedures conducted on his, his everyday triumphs and setbacks. Reading the book, you get the feeling that thought he wanted to be anywhere but on the hospital bed, he took pleasure in getting to know people and hearing their stories. But over the next few months, the writing took on a different tone- they became more philosophical and meaningful.
I received a review copy and this is my unbiased review: https://www.youthkiawaaz.com/2024/11/...

[Shalini · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is remarkable how Hanif Kureshi recounts the unfortunate turn in life and living his early days with paraplegia. There are many interesting anecdotes and a boring one about a threesome with Iris and Hans, where he forewarns the reader alluding to Chekov’s ‘A Boring Story’. There are some gems such as “Conversation is useless in the best sense. It’s anti-capitalist - you don’t make money out of it; there is no gain, except for that which is exchanged in the moment. There is only the pure pleasure of sitting with another human being, of listening to them, of an ephemeral exchange which has no meaning beyond a temporary pleasure that is shared.” and “I’m not one for the indiscriminate neoliberal fantasy of today where young people are told they can have it all or be whatever they want to be. This is cruel optimism.” It is a good read.

[K · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found it too boring so I had to leave it halfway. Tried my level best to finish reading it, but unfortunately, I couldn’t.

[Jonathan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. Totally absorbing, shocking and, considering the circumstances, surprisingly funny.

[Bethany Mcdonald · Rating 5 out of 5]

Like a Modern Tuesdays with Morrie… although much more complexity. I couldn’t imagine being a writer who’s not able to write anymore. My life purpose would be taken from me. Although, maybe this book is to show how you can’t fulfill your life purpose alone all the time.

[Dd · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars.

I wasn't familiar with Hanif Kureishi at first, but I was intrigued by the reviews of his memoir, which chronicles his journey through unexpected and life-altering circumstances.

Then I realized he had written the screenplays for My Beautiful Laundrette and Sammy and Rosie Get Laid—films I loved as a teenager and felt so 'cool' watching in the theater at the time. That connection drew me in even more.

I found the memoir exceptionally well written. I especially appreciated his reflections on psychoanalysis and his exploration of a transformed existence—touching on identity, sexuality, and dependency with striking honesty and insight.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars rounded up

[Miguel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Escrever sobre uma desgraça irremediável já de si é muito difícil. Hanif Kureishi teve a coragem de o fazer, com imenso humor à mistura.
A retirar deste livro uma enorme lição. Nunca nos apercebemos da felicidade de estarmos vivos e na posse de todas as faculdades, estado considerado "normal", até deixarmos de o estar. Simples coisas do dia-a-dia que nos são "garantidas" passam a "impossíveis de realizar" quando já não estamos no estado "normal".

[Simona Moschini · Rating 5 out of 5]

All'inizio (da non crederci) erano frammenti sull'allora Twitter. Incredibili perché non era mai successo, forse, che uno scrittore famoso si mettesse a nudo in un diario on line dettato ai familiari dal suo letto di neo-tetraplegico.
Adesso è un libro ma il dolore è sempre lo stesso. L'umiliazione, l'espropriazione, la reificazione, la perdita totale della dignità, la speranza, la rabbia.

[Alejandro Orradre · Rating 4 out of 5]

Desgarrador y angustiante diario que relata parte del año que pasó el escritor hospitalizado tras un terrible desfallecimiento que le provocó una parálisis. Está escrito desde las entrañas, se nota que hay más corazón que cabeza, lo cual es de agradecer.

No es un libro para leer en momentos de bajón, eso seguro.

[Kirsten · Rating 3 out of 5]

Listened to the abridged Radio 4 version

[Mark Harwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kureishi's newfound paralysis is met with good humor, but as his isolation progresses, his journal unravels into tangents and (often sexual) preoccupations. The subject matter is sometimes shocking, though the author almost entirely lacks self-pity, and his voice is always casual. He holds nothing back and welcomes the reader to sit, stay awhile—make yourself at home although Kureishi may never be comfortable again.

[Juliette Millet · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hanif Kureishi siempre me ha caído bien. Tenía curiosidad —y cierta expectativa— por ver cómo una pluma tan sarcástica y oscura se enfrentaría a su propia desgracia. El resultado, sin embargo, no me convenció. Aunque hay pasajes geniales donde reflexiona con lucidez sobre la dependencia y la humillación cotidiana, A Pedazos es puramente anecdótico. Le falta estructura, dirección, algo que le dé peso más allá del testimonio. Termina pareciendo un conjunto de notas sueltas, más cercano al desahogo que a una obra sólida.

Lo terminé con respeto, pero sin entusiasmo.
Nota: debo decir que leí la traducción francesa y no la española.

[Anne (Not of Green Gables) · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5. I always feel iffy rating a memoir but some feel right. This has moments of clear beauty and then some chapters felt stagnate and repetitive. The audiobook is a good shout if you enjoy that way of reading.

[Pietro Martinetti · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hanif Kureishi ha scritto il diario della sua frantumazione “non ho più una dignità” dalle stanze degli ospedali, in seguito alla caduta che lo ha reso tetraplegico terminando la sua vita precedente. In un altro passaggio l’autore afferma che gli scrittori sono spesso inferiori alle loro opere. Nel caso di questo libro, la questione è più legata a quanto il destino di chi scrive possa essere ininfluente sulla voce e sulla sua opera. Dunque la cronaca di Kureishi dal ricovero a Roma il giorno di Santo Stefano del 2022 fino al ritorno nella sua casa a Londra è un grande quaderno dei dolori, su cosa succede quando il destino ti viene incontro: le relazioni tra malati, con gli infermieri, i sistemi sanitari, il buio, ogni gesto che dipende dalla volontà degli altri, la fine di ogni indipendenza, la paura. Ma nonostante il buco nero nel quale precipita, la voce di Hanif Kureishi è inconfondibile. Ci sono l’ossessione per la scrittura e la lettura con Kafka, Dostoevskij, Balzac, Proust, Dickens, Henry Miller, il mito James Baldwin, gli amici Salman Rushdie e Zadie Smith, Freud e la psicoanalisi, il padre, l’infanzia, il cricket e la comunità pakistana, il sesso, il porno e le droghe, i suoi racconti di Londra da oggi fino agli anni 60’ con Bowie e Samuel Beckett, che a vent’anni Kureishi incontra al Royal court Theatre. Sandro Veronesi in ogni suo esergo cita il drammaturgo “Non posso continuare, continuerò”, è ciò che Hanif Kureishi ha fatto tutti i giorni dall'incidente. Il risultato è questo libro di sofferenza, dolore e luce.

[Francis Pellow · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brutally open and honest struggle to deal with life changing accident. An excellent abridged Radio 4 book of the week

[Paul Snelling · Rating 4 out of 5]

I remember Hanif Kureishi’s first books in the 1990s but had lost touch a little. Like everyone I was saddened to hear of his fall, at Christmas 2022 which resulted in a life changing injury. This book which feels, thanks to the large text, a lot shorter than its 300-odd pages is his (dictated) account of the year that followed, through initial stabilisation and treatment in Rome to his Rehab, first in Rome, then in London, and his final return home.

There’s just a little ‘philosophy’, some snippets of autobiography and some digressions about this and that – but it’s mainly about the nuts and bolts of recovery, unsentimental and often scatological. It’s engaging and you can’t help but cheer him on, but I thought that there would be more on meaning.