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Tell Me Who I Am
A true story of false memory and lost innocence in one of England's most respectable families
Imagine waking up one day to discover that you have forgotten everything about your life. Your only link with the past, your only hope for the future, is your identical twin.
Now imagine, years later, discovering that your twin had not told you the whole truth about your childhood, your family, and the forces that had shaped you. Why the secrets? Why the silences? You have no choice but to begin again.
This has been Alex's reality: a world where memories are just the stories people tell you, where fact and fiction are impossible to distinguish. With dogged courage he has spent years hunting for the truth about his hidden past and his remarkable family. His quest to understand his true identity has revealed shocking betrayals and a secret tragedy, extraordinary triumph over crippling adversity and, above all, redemption founded on brotherly love.
Marcus his twin brother has sometimes been a reluctant companion on this journey, but for him too it has led to staggering revelations and ultimately the shedding of impossible burdens.
Their story spans continents and eras, from 1950s debutantes and high society in the Home Counties to a remote island in the Pacific and 90s raves. Disturbing, funny, heart-breaking and affirming, Alex and Marcus's determination to rebuild their lives makes us look afresh at how we choose to tell our stories.
Imagine waking up one day to discover that you have forgotten everything about your life. Your only link with the past, your only hope for the future, is your identical twin.
Now imagine, years later, discovering that your twin had not told you the whole truth about your childhood, your family, and the forces that had shaped you. Why the secrets? Why the silences? You have no choice but to begin again.
This has been Alex's reality: a world where memories are just the stories people tell you, where fact and fiction are impossible to distinguish. With dogged courage he has spent years hunting for the truth about his hidden past and his remarkable family. His quest to understand his true identity has revealed shocking betrayals and a secret tragedy, extraordinary triumph over crippling adversity and, above all, redemption founded on brotherly love.
Marcus his twin brother has sometimes been a reluctant companion on this journey, but for him too it has led to staggering revelations and ultimately the shedding of impossible burdens.
Their story spans continents and eras, from 1950s debutantes and high society in the Home Counties to a remote island in the Pacific and 90s raves. Disturbing, funny, heart-breaking and affirming, Alex and Marcus's determination to rebuild their lives makes us look afresh at how we choose to tell our stories.
353 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 4, 2013
248 people are currently reading
1955 people want to read
About the author
Alex Lewis
1 book8 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
This is Alex^^Lewis, where ^=space.
This is Alex^^Lewis, where ^=space.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 86 reviews
April 4, 2024
Read this book non-stop on a six hour airplane flight. Fascinating, horrendous, and incredibly well told.
Highly recommend!
Highly recommend!
January 12, 2020
I watched the Netflix documentary which, I have to say, was incredible. Afterwards, I simply could not forget this story and ‘Marky and Ally’ (as they affectionately call each other.) They came across as the nicest and most normal blokes who told their difficult story with courage and honesty. I found the book even more riveting and I’m so glad I picked it up as it delves under the surface and paints the whole picture of their lives and also that of their siblings. I felt it managed to tap into the complexities of abuse and family dysfunction in which denial, falsehood and secrecy are the key components. But mostly this book feels like two people making sense of an unspeakable thing. 5 stars.
June 28, 2015
The book is very oddly written. Something about the style felt almost child-like and overly simple. There's tons of telling instead of showing. The third part of the book borders on the unreadable -- an almost verbatim transcript of conversations that add very little to the overall story.
The story itself is pretty incredible. Hearing details of it on a podcast is what drew me to the book. And yet...
It is a dangerous place to be, saying you are sceptical of someone else's recovered memories of sexual abuse. So I hesitate to say this, but I found myself wondering -- could this book be a lie? Could huge portions of the tale be misremembering?
Strangely, the book itself seems to suggest that possibility -- the version of events the twins tell, about the accident, is, suddenly, remembered in a new way. If memories are that malleable, how are we to take the rest of the book?
There is no medicine or science in the book at all. While I don't want pictures of the MRI scans, a total absence of medical experts on memory and brain injury seems suspicious.
And there's also this weird whitewash feeling to the book. It's as though the author, collaborating with the twins, created a document that they want to call reality. Even with it being a little messy, it somehow feels too tidy. I am also always suspicious of books of journalism where the author is absent from the text.
How can I sum it up? Parts 1 & 2 are great, part 3 is boring, the whole thing is very oddly written, but it was a fascinating read.
The story itself is pretty incredible. Hearing details of it on a podcast is what drew me to the book. And yet...
It is a dangerous place to be, saying you are sceptical of someone else's recovered memories of sexual abuse. So I hesitate to say this, but I found myself wondering -- could this book be a lie? Could huge portions of the tale be misremembering?
Strangely, the book itself seems to suggest that possibility -- the version of events the twins tell, about the accident, is, suddenly, remembered in a new way. If memories are that malleable, how are we to take the rest of the book?
There is no medicine or science in the book at all. While I don't want pictures of the MRI scans, a total absence of medical experts on memory and brain injury seems suspicious.
And there's also this weird whitewash feeling to the book. It's as though the author, collaborating with the twins, created a document that they want to call reality. Even with it being a little messy, it somehow feels too tidy. I am also always suspicious of books of journalism where the author is absent from the text.
How can I sum it up? Parts 1 & 2 are great, part 3 is boring, the whole thing is very oddly written, but it was a fascinating read.
August 29, 2019
T/W- Sexual Abuse
Tell Me Who I Am is the devastating true story of twins Alex and Marcus, who grow up into a tough family upbringing and then one of them having a nasty accident come of age. Alex since the accident has lost all of his memories, but Marcus can't bring himself to reveal some shocking truths about their experiences to Alex. Living lies, travelling abroad and having to come to rebuild lives after loss, this was a harrowing read that proved to be far more unsettling than I had anticipated. While I do like reading memoirs, the pacing was very disjointed throughout. There was something that didn't sit well with me, but I do put that down to the overall tone of the book. It's never easy to speak out about heavy issues such as abuse. 3 stars was my final decision after spending a few weeks thinking about this review.
Tell Me Who I Am is the devastating true story of twins Alex and Marcus, who grow up into a tough family upbringing and then one of them having a nasty accident come of age. Alex since the accident has lost all of his memories, but Marcus can't bring himself to reveal some shocking truths about their experiences to Alex. Living lies, travelling abroad and having to come to rebuild lives after loss, this was a harrowing read that proved to be far more unsettling than I had anticipated. While I do like reading memoirs, the pacing was very disjointed throughout. There was something that didn't sit well with me, but I do put that down to the overall tone of the book. It's never easy to speak out about heavy issues such as abuse. 3 stars was my final decision after spending a few weeks thinking about this review.
September 2, 2013
This story is about a family, in particular twin boys, who are raised in a well-to-do family in England filled with joy and laughter on the outside, but on the inside it is a very different story. There are horrific secrets of sexual and emotional abuse carried out against the male children of the family (the twins and their younger brother Oliver), mainly perpetuated by their mother. What makes this terrible abuse story different however, is that one of the twins, Alex, cannot remember it occurring due to a motorcycle accident which happened when he was eighteen, and led to the loss of all his memories prior to the event save one, he is able to remember his twin Marcus. On seeing his mother at his hospital bedside, he cannot recollect her at all, and sees her as just a “hysterical woman” whose noise-making is slightly irritating and too much for his fragile brain to take at the time of awakening from a coma. Alex now has to re-build his life, relying heavily on his twin to fill in the gaps in his memory and to teach him about what kind of person he is.
There is a twist to this tale. Marcus decides not to tell Alex about the abuse that they suffered at the hands of their mother that Alex clearly has no memory of. Right or wrong, Marcus wants to spare his twin that trauma, and in a way, he has blocked it out himself so that he can continue with his life. When their mother dies however, Alex begins to question a few things, namely the lack of grief experienced by his siblings and begins to wonder what they are hiding.
Obviously, this is a very sinister and emotive story, and reading about sexual abuse is never going to be pleasant. What I did find inspiring is that this is not just a book about abuse, the author takes great pains to show us the wonderful things that have happened in the twins’ lives, for example their travelling, their “work hard” attitude, and their business ventures. This shows us that while others may have admitted defeat after their experiences, they refuse to be labelled as victims. I have to say, I wasn’t entirely sure about their idea for building a hotel on a deserted African island, but the fact that they go back and try to assist the local village financially, or in building a school surely has to be respected. The only thing I had a slight issue with is that the writing style at times seems slightly sensationalist, with an unnecessary cliffhanger at the end of every chapter. This is only my opinion though, and I’m sure others may enjoy this method, it just didn’t sit right for me.
Please see my full review at http://www.bibliobeth.wordpress.com
There is a twist to this tale. Marcus decides not to tell Alex about the abuse that they suffered at the hands of their mother that Alex clearly has no memory of. Right or wrong, Marcus wants to spare his twin that trauma, and in a way, he has blocked it out himself so that he can continue with his life. When their mother dies however, Alex begins to question a few things, namely the lack of grief experienced by his siblings and begins to wonder what they are hiding.
Obviously, this is a very sinister and emotive story, and reading about sexual abuse is never going to be pleasant. What I did find inspiring is that this is not just a book about abuse, the author takes great pains to show us the wonderful things that have happened in the twins’ lives, for example their travelling, their “work hard” attitude, and their business ventures. This shows us that while others may have admitted defeat after their experiences, they refuse to be labelled as victims. I have to say, I wasn’t entirely sure about their idea for building a hotel on a deserted African island, but the fact that they go back and try to assist the local village financially, or in building a school surely has to be respected. The only thing I had a slight issue with is that the writing style at times seems slightly sensationalist, with an unnecessary cliffhanger at the end of every chapter. This is only my opinion though, and I’m sure others may enjoy this method, it just didn’t sit right for me.
Please see my full review at http://www.bibliobeth.wordpress.com
Want to read
November 5, 2019Saw the brilliant but harrowing Netflix documentary over the weekend, so I'm curious about the book. According to Marcus, he withheld a lot of information in the book, only feeling comfortable to discuss the details and the magnitude of what happened to them in the documentary.
I was a little disappointed by the documentary, however - I was hoping that they'd explore the ethical dilemma in greater detail, and hopefully touch upon the philosophical questions surrounding memory as identity. The very concept is so Dickian, it could easily be an episode of Black Mirror, or even a series by itself. Take nothing away from the documentary, though- it was brilliant.
I was a little disappointed by the documentary, however - I was hoping that they'd explore the ethical dilemma in greater detail, and hopefully touch upon the philosophical questions surrounding memory as identity. The very concept is so Dickian, it could easily be an episode of Black Mirror, or even a series by itself. Take nothing away from the documentary, though- it was brilliant.
July 7, 2021
I enjoyed every part of this unusual story. The first thing that I took from watching this movie, is the blurred boundaries between our memories and reality and that everything in life somehow seems to be connected. We all have things in our lives that we decide not to look at. Because they are too painful, too emotional, or too complicated, we often hide them. We lock them away and tend to think that we cleaned them up. Easy.
It's an interesting idea how a seemingly great solution - losing all your bad and traumatic memories - isn't a solution to his problems at all. As this documentary implies, we can not control our emotions and by hiding certain feelings or painful experiences they aren't cleaned up at all.
Even when losing his memory, it clearly seems important for Alex to understand what truly happened in his life. Even when he wasn't able to remember it, it was important for him to understand his past - and so his present, and to face those painful experiences and see them for what they truly are. At some point you might think that you actually need your history. All of it, to be able to fully live in the present without limitations.
It's like entering a new room. Every time we enter a new room we might think it's a new opportunity for us to really be there and show our new selves, while in fact, we all carry a backpack with us. Our backpacks are filled with memories and past experiences, and although we might be running for bad things from the past, we always take that backpack with us, wherever we go.
As long as we put all kinds of heavy things in our backpacks that do not belong there and don't take a closer look into it, in some ways our presence will be influenced by it. Flashbacks or overreactions are simple triggers that are routed in past experiences and remind us of the constantly blurred boundaries between memory and reality, past and present.
Another thing that crossed my mind when I watched this movie, is the importance of emotional bonds. It made me think how much we actually rely and depend on the people who we allow close to us. We rely on their information and ways of looking at things. I don't have any experience of being a twin myself, but I do get a sense of how strong their bond is and how deep their connection is rooted. Much can be said about the way Marcus framed their common past, but it's beautiful to see how these twin brothers will do anything for their other half.
A story with different layers. Thanks for sharing it and putting it out!
It's an interesting idea how a seemingly great solution - losing all your bad and traumatic memories - isn't a solution to his problems at all. As this documentary implies, we can not control our emotions and by hiding certain feelings or painful experiences they aren't cleaned up at all.
Even when losing his memory, it clearly seems important for Alex to understand what truly happened in his life. Even when he wasn't able to remember it, it was important for him to understand his past - and so his present, and to face those painful experiences and see them for what they truly are. At some point you might think that you actually need your history. All of it, to be able to fully live in the present without limitations.
It's like entering a new room. Every time we enter a new room we might think it's a new opportunity for us to really be there and show our new selves, while in fact, we all carry a backpack with us. Our backpacks are filled with memories and past experiences, and although we might be running for bad things from the past, we always take that backpack with us, wherever we go.
As long as we put all kinds of heavy things in our backpacks that do not belong there and don't take a closer look into it, in some ways our presence will be influenced by it. Flashbacks or overreactions are simple triggers that are routed in past experiences and remind us of the constantly blurred boundaries between memory and reality, past and present.
Another thing that crossed my mind when I watched this movie, is the importance of emotional bonds. It made me think how much we actually rely and depend on the people who we allow close to us. We rely on their information and ways of looking at things. I don't have any experience of being a twin myself, but I do get a sense of how strong their bond is and how deep their connection is rooted. Much can be said about the way Marcus framed their common past, but it's beautiful to see how these twin brothers will do anything for their other half.
A story with different layers. Thanks for sharing it and putting it out!
August 31, 2025
For brevity’s sake: I did not see the Netflix doc before reading this book.
A harrowing and disturbing story. The story was heartbreaking but extremely compelling. The complexities of the children in this family was what drew me to it. However, the story was told in a very disjointed way…it was hard to keep up with the time frame. Some of the answers were given towards the end. Alex’s accident was presented at the beginning with no context or explanation, just he had an accident and lost his memory. At the end they did explain the circumstances of his accident, how it happened, etc. I enjoyed the ending, especially the interviews with the siblings and learning how each of them coped differently. Overall, the compelling story kept me interested but I was thrown off by how it was told.
A harrowing and disturbing story. The story was heartbreaking but extremely compelling. The complexities of the children in this family was what drew me to it. However, the story was told in a very disjointed way…it was hard to keep up with the time frame. Some of the answers were given towards the end. Alex’s accident was presented at the beginning with no context or explanation, just he had an accident and lost his memory. At the end they did explain the circumstances of his accident, how it happened, etc. I enjoyed the ending, especially the interviews with the siblings and learning how each of them coped differently. Overall, the compelling story kept me interested but I was thrown off by how it was told.
October 8, 2013
I've just finished this book and found it fascinating and gripping. These twin brothers and their siblings really have built amazing lives after such a difficult start. I learnt so much reading this book, about the struggle of learning to live again, struggling with dyslexia and what people will do to protect the ones they love. Everyone should read this book. I'm so glad I got the chance to read this book...thank you.
November 12, 2019
I recently watched the documentary based on Alex and Marcus’ story and was fascinated by it. I looked forward to learning more about their background, which this book does provide. However, it is not at all well written, and the final section is confusing and pointless. But their story and courage in telling it is amazing and worth reading about. I highly recommend the documentary on Netflix, watch that first!
December 6, 2019
I liked how this book was written. I had seen the documentary and was interested to read the book. The documentary covers the twins and Alex's need for the truth, however the book goes into far more detail about how their lives have been impacted by their parents, and that they have other siblings too. It's a difficult subject matter but as they don't go into details of the abuse, I never felt so horrified that I needed to stop reading.
January 22, 2020
This book is not very well written. So bad in fact, I just can't finish it. I got halfway through before the quality started waning even further which is a shame because that's when it was supposed to start getting good. I highly recommend the Netflix documentary though. Skip the book.
November 1, 2024
This was a fascinating story, and while at times the book did drag in a few places (especially if you have seen the documentary that was made about this), the book is really compelling and multi-faceted. It's divided into three parts, each of which focuses on different aspects of their story. The first being about Alex's accident and living with amnesia, which is fascinating. Then it moves onto the hunt for the truth behind his family's dark past, which is fascinating in a whole different way. And it wraps up by focusing on their hunt for healing and understanding, delving into the family dynamics-which is also fascinating.
I watched the documentary first, which I don't recommend. The book drags a little bit if you know what's coming down the road, but the book explores far better many of the themes and insights into abuse, neglect, and how that impacts not only individuals but families.
What I really appreciate about this story most of all is that despite all the difficulties, it really feels uplifting and hopeful. It's more about the journey to discover themselves and who they are beyond their terrible upbringing, which is really inspiring.
Bring tissues.
I watched the documentary first, which I don't recommend. The book drags a little bit if you know what's coming down the road, but the book explores far better many of the themes and insights into abuse, neglect, and how that impacts not only individuals but families.
What I really appreciate about this story most of all is that despite all the difficulties, it really feels uplifting and hopeful. It's more about the journey to discover themselves and who they are beyond their terrible upbringing, which is really inspiring.
Bring tissues.
March 17, 2019
** Books 26 - 2019 **
This books to accomplish Tsundoku Books Challenge 2019
3,4 of 5 stars!
6th of 16th Books that i bought from Big Bad Wolf Jakarta 2019 is finally finished read! yayy! I'm curious about the story since it is memoir of twins brothers Alex and Marcus Lewis about.. When Alex was eighteen years old he got car accident that erased all of his eighteen years old memories and he just knew his twins, Marcus only.. It is really hurts me with they also have difficulties of reading and writing since both of them have complicated dyslexia..
The most unforgivable one when i read about their F****** Mother, Jill did something horrible to them! Even the chilhood memories of Jill being written in almost a few chapters in this books i am still wondering how can such a mother did such thing to her own son? In the end i'm also touched when finally both of Marcus and Ali found their everlasting wife (Vito and Camilla). They deserve to get better life! I hope even Oliver , their younger brother can through this traumatic events!
Thankyou Bigbadwolf 2019!
This books to accomplish Tsundoku Books Challenge 2019
3,4 of 5 stars!
6th of 16th Books that i bought from Big Bad Wolf Jakarta 2019 is finally finished read! yayy! I'm curious about the story since it is memoir of twins brothers Alex and Marcus Lewis about.. When Alex was eighteen years old he got car accident that erased all of his eighteen years old memories and he just knew his twins, Marcus only.. It is really hurts me with they also have difficulties of reading and writing since both of them have complicated dyslexia..
The most unforgivable one when i read about their F****** Mother, Jill did something horrible to them! Even the chilhood memories of Jill being written in almost a few chapters in this books i am still wondering how can such a mother did such thing to her own son? In the end i'm also touched when finally both of Marcus and Ali found their everlasting wife (Vito and Camilla). They deserve to get better life! I hope even Oliver , their younger brother can through this traumatic events!
Thankyou Bigbadwolf 2019!
April 12, 2021
What a whirlwind ride. This book details the lives of Alex and Marcus Lewis identical twin boys with a strong connection. During this book we learn that Alex had an accident which resulted in a head injury which put him in a coma. When he awakes the only thing he remembers is his twin brother. At the age of 18 the boys begin a new path while Alex awakens a new life he relearn everything thanks to his brother but later learns something is missing, something Marcus left out to save his brother from the truth and pain that Marcus so wished to forget himself. I am in absolute awe of the courage in these pages.
June 19, 2025
Harrowing
December 26, 2019
After watching the Netflix documentary that followed the book I absolutely had to buy and read it and I’m so glad I did. As always, the book tells it best.
The book begins keeping details to a minimum and giving a background of the boys’ lives and continues to give more insight as you move through the book and I found myself feeling like part of the family being told the story in person. Tell Me Who I Am is heartbreaking and harrowing but has to be read. It causes controversy in that I found that I was arguing with myself about decisions characters had made and had to keep reminding myself that Alex and Marcus’ story was a true one and although it’s mostly always hidden, the horrors they faced are all too common. I adored the book and how brutally honest it was throughout.
I’d highly recommend but have a box of tissues nearby.
The book begins keeping details to a minimum and giving a background of the boys’ lives and continues to give more insight as you move through the book and I found myself feeling like part of the family being told the story in person. Tell Me Who I Am is heartbreaking and harrowing but has to be read. It causes controversy in that I found that I was arguing with myself about decisions characters had made and had to keep reminding myself that Alex and Marcus’ story was a true one and although it’s mostly always hidden, the horrors they faced are all too common. I adored the book and how brutally honest it was throughout.
I’d highly recommend but have a box of tissues nearby.
January 10, 2020
Re-watched the documentary and decided to listen to the book too.
It seems the documentary‘s big reveal already happened before the film, in the book. So I’m not sure if the documentary was a dramatisation... it’s a bit confusing.
The hooked dragged on and the last third with all siblings remembering things was an almost blow-to-blow account that dragged on unnecessarily. Pity. It’s a harrowing, moving story. But it could have been told better... I liked the narration of the audiobook though...
The documentary is more moving though.
It seems the documentary‘s big reveal already happened before the film, in the book. So I’m not sure if the documentary was a dramatisation... it’s a bit confusing.
The hooked dragged on and the last third with all siblings remembering things was an almost blow-to-blow account that dragged on unnecessarily. Pity. It’s a harrowing, moving story. But it could have been told better... I liked the narration of the audiobook though...
The documentary is more moving though.
August 4, 2013
I came across this autobiography after seeing the twins on breakfast television and so decided I would give it ago. Well, it was certainly one of those books you can't put down (I read it in 36 hours) even though the subject matter is very serious. It probably shows the character of the twin brothers that abuse and trauma can be related in a way that you want to read more and certainly not in a sensationalist way. Definitely one to be recommended.
December 20, 2014
This kind of book is just not my cup of tea. While the story is somewhat interesting, I just don't like the style of writing. Repetitive and mundane, turning what is a disturbing story into a book I was just reading to get through. Disappointing.
July 4, 2016
Interesting on so many levels: twins, dyslexia, abuse, brain injury, family dynamics. Written in a non sensationalistic style which I appreciated hugely. A generous insight into many different issues.
November 1, 2019
This is a very good read. I saw the documentary and decided to read the book. It is interesting to see how one man lost his memories of the past and one suppressed them. Very sad that no one reported this obvious abuse when the children were young.
November 6, 2019
Repetition made it dull at the end
March 17, 2023
I watched this documentary on Netflix and ended with my hand on my chest. I wanted to spend more time with this amazing story, so when I found out it was based on a book, I checked out the audiobook right away.
Amazing. An important story about navigating memory and working through trauma, with soulful love empowering the journey. These twins reminded me of a single psyche that’s divided in half to try to protect itself during trauma. It was fascinating to watch that play out. I was touched to hear how throughout their dynamic, interesting lives, the brothers cared for each other, protected each other, and worked individually and then together to address incomprehensible trauma.
This book is told in a way that honors the nebulous fabric of traumatic memories, mirroring how the knowledge comes in waves and echoes, and also showing how denial can be productive and beneficial for periods of time, though ultimately, the soul will keep wrestling toward wholeness and truth. Sometimes the book’s writing felt repetitive, but I’m so blown away by the content, I’ll excuse that.
I think a lot of other people will hear parts of their own healing journeys echoed in these brothers’ articulate and brave search for wholeness in themselves.
Amazing. An important story about navigating memory and working through trauma, with soulful love empowering the journey. These twins reminded me of a single psyche that’s divided in half to try to protect itself during trauma. It was fascinating to watch that play out. I was touched to hear how throughout their dynamic, interesting lives, the brothers cared for each other, protected each other, and worked individually and then together to address incomprehensible trauma.
This book is told in a way that honors the nebulous fabric of traumatic memories, mirroring how the knowledge comes in waves and echoes, and also showing how denial can be productive and beneficial for periods of time, though ultimately, the soul will keep wrestling toward wholeness and truth. Sometimes the book’s writing felt repetitive, but I’m so blown away by the content, I’ll excuse that.
I think a lot of other people will hear parts of their own healing journeys echoed in these brothers’ articulate and brave search for wholeness in themselves.
March 29, 2023
Tell me who I am was a gut wrenching book that really had me thinking. If you and another person had a tragedy you shared but they had total memory loss, would you remind them of the tragedy? Would it hurt or benefit them too know? We all watch the movies like Overboard where someone losses their memory and the other person takes advantage of them for their own good. Well this story is the opposite.Twin brothers Alex and Marcus are extremely close growing up but had a very toxic upbringing filled with sexual abuse. Alex is in a life changing accident that wipes away his memories of everything and everybody except for his twin. Marcus must teach his brother to relearn the simplest of tasks in order to move on, but there's somethings he'll never tell, and that's the stories of abuse that went on in their childhood home. For Marcus he feels his doing Alex a favor but somehow Alex knows there's pieces of the puzzle he's missing and it's driving him mad. The brothers will struggle, battle, one wanting the truth and the other refusing to speak the words he simply can't bear to admit.
The story is moving and heart breaking and will make you question what you would do if you were in the same situation.
The story is moving and heart breaking and will make you question what you would do if you were in the same situation.
March 5, 2023
“Tell Me Who I Am” is a compelling narrative nonfiction book that takes the reader on a journey with a set of identical twins as they discover and unlock the memories of their childhood. Memories are subjective, and a person’s perception is their reality. When memory and reality collide, the process of sorting out what is real and what one has been told is real is both devastating and healing. I had to keep reminding myself that this book is not fiction. These twin brothers lived this story along with their two younger siblings. When Alex Lewis suffers a traumatic brain injury from a motorcycle accident that results in complete amnesia except for knowing his own name and that of his twin, his twin brother Marcus becomes the keeper of his memories. This allows Marcus to reinvent the truth for his brother, but also to lock away the truth in his own mind. I couldn’t turn the pages fast enough to see how it all unfolded. Some people may judge the choices they make along the way and at the end, but having grown up in the same era as these two men, I can understand and relate to how they coped. This is an excellent read worthy of five stars.
October 28, 2018
I find the book very moving, and rightfully written. The sensitivity of the entire story is well kept and although on many occassion i wished the author did exposed the identities of the abuser, i still find it justly so to keep it at bare minimum.
It is not easy and will never be easy to discuss in details the trauma and the dark experiences that Alex, Marcus and Oliver had. And i appreciate the idea that the lack of too much details were compensated with the emotions of each chapter.
I am feeling proud and happy to know that they have come out very successful in their lives despite the challenges they have.
After reading the book, i am left to dream of being able to visit and stay in Fundu resort someday to share and experience the patch of paradise that helped them heal and provided refuge during their dark harrowing days...
It is not easy and will never be easy to discuss in details the trauma and the dark experiences that Alex, Marcus and Oliver had. And i appreciate the idea that the lack of too much details were compensated with the emotions of each chapter.
I am feeling proud and happy to know that they have come out very successful in their lives despite the challenges they have.
After reading the book, i am left to dream of being able to visit and stay in Fundu resort someday to share and experience the patch of paradise that helped them heal and provided refuge during their dark harrowing days...
April 2, 2021
This book was too long by one-third. Too much exposition, not enough scene. The story is fascinating and when I read about the author, someone known for writing thrillers, I hoped to learn something about writing as I was learning about memory. In the first, I was disappointed, though it did reinforce much that I learned about writing over the last five years. Still, the story, one twin is in a horrific accident, the result of which is a coma and loss of all memories. The other twin begins to "fill him in." But it wasn't enough. Over decades, the injured twin begins to explore other' memories about him and life before the accident. His search reveals much more than he or his siblings, the twin and a younger brother and sister, cared to remember. With more than 100 pages to "get into it" I found myself speed reading and skipping sections. I did not do that within scenes.
August 2, 2021
What a tragically beautiful reminder that we are products of who we are on the inside and not products of the things that have happened to us along the way.
My favorite quote and thought of the many favorites is this from the beginning:
“… perhaps the most remarkable gift from working with them has been an affirmation of the endless resources of the human spirit. Despite what they suffered as children, they have gone on to achieve so much.” I love that empowering concept of the endless resources of the human spirit. There is so much given and so much taken in our lives, and it’s best when we embrace and face it all not in solitude but in union with each other.
I did long for more showing than telling, however I assume that’s why they made a documentary and I am looking forward to that!
My favorite quote and thought of the many favorites is this from the beginning:
“… perhaps the most remarkable gift from working with them has been an affirmation of the endless resources of the human spirit. Despite what they suffered as children, they have gone on to achieve so much.” I love that empowering concept of the endless resources of the human spirit. There is so much given and so much taken in our lives, and it’s best when we embrace and face it all not in solitude but in union with each other.
I did long for more showing than telling, however I assume that’s why they made a documentary and I am looking forward to that!
October 27, 2019
Marcus and Alex arrived via my radio, on the BBC World Service, in the wee hours of a Saturday morning. They were utterly charming and the snippets of their story I caught in my drowsy state intrigued me. They were promoting their new Netflix documentary, also called “Tell Me Who I Am”. I downloaded the book the next day, and I also watched the documentary, but I’m not really sure what to tell you.
The book, which was written with help from a ghost writer because both men are dyslexic, explores several themes: being an identical twin, trust, memory, the effects of sexual abuse, and the secrets we all keep from each other. It also questions what it is that makes a person’s identity and how we manipulate others. Their story weaves a tangled web that left me with many unanswered questions.
The book, which was written with help from a ghost writer because both men are dyslexic, explores several themes: being an identical twin, trust, memory, the effects of sexual abuse, and the secrets we all keep from each other. It also questions what it is that makes a person’s identity and how we manipulate others. Their story weaves a tangled web that left me with many unanswered questions.
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