This book gave a useful perspective into this family's approach to homeschool. They seem like a great family, dedicated to loving each other and doing good in the world. I especially appreciated their thoughts about believing in your child's abilities and feeding their natural curiosity. And they showed that homeschool is really doable. This book is a useful, interesting, inspiring resource for homeschoolers and parents in general.
The Hardings shared a lot of their beliefs and values throughout the book. I didn't have a problem with that at all. Their religion obviously played a huge part in their homeschool, and I think that's cool.
STOP NOW IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ A THEOLOGICAL DISCOURSE!
But as I've waded into the homeschool community, I've come across one specific belief again and again. The belief is that good Christian wives need to submit to their husbands. That the husband gets the final say for the family.
This belief came out in small ways throughout the book such as when Mona Lisa said, "I needed to learn to let Kip lead." Then in the resources section she listed a couple of books by author/homeschooler Debi Pearl who wrote Created to be His Helpmeet. Mona Lisa endorses the book by saying that she thinks every engaged or married woman should read it.
I've read excerpts from Created to be His Helpmeet, and I found Pearl's take on husband/wife relationships alarming. One of her main ideas is that God has certain characteristics, and each man is born with one of these characteristics as his primary one. The characteristics are dominant, visionary, and steady. A wife's job is to discover her husband's primary characteristic and support him in that.
In regards to the dominant husband, Pearl says this: "If you are blessed to be married to a strong, forceful, bossy man, as I am, then it is very important for you learn how to make an appeal without challenging his authority."
Also: "If a wife learns early to enjoy the benefits of taking the second seat, and if she does not take offense to his headstrong aggressiveness, she will be the one sitting at his right side being adored, because this kind of man will totally adore his woman and exalt her."
Debi Pearl, Mona Lisa Harding, and some other Christian, homeschooling moms I've come across are admirable for reading the scriptures and trying to apply them. They take the scripture from Ephesians where Paul says, "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as unto the Lord" and try to really make that happen in their lives. It's wonderful to try to follow God's word.
That being said, I'm a Christian. I believe in the Bible. But I don't believe Paul's counsel, as interpreted by so many, is a blueprint for the way God wants marriage to be. I believe God created men and women to be equals, in marriage and life in general.
I believe the Hardings have a good marriage, but I don't think having the wife submit to the husband is the key to their good marriage. I think all marriages get better when husbands and wives work together as completely equal partners.
(I know I have a unique perspective on this issue because I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We believe in eternal marriage and that the title of God can refer to Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother--a coequal, exalted man and woman. In traditional Christian theology, it only makes sense for men to be created in the image of God because God is strictly male. In the Church of Jesus Christ's doctrine, there is space for women. They were not created as less than men, second to men, or subservient to men. They were created in the image of God just as much as men because God is also female. So my belief in this doctrine hugely shapes my belief about how men and women are meant to relate to each other.)
Like I said, I admire people like Kip and Mona Lisa Harding for following the scriptures to the best of their ability and taking their faith seriously. They have done and will do so much good in the world for being people of integrity.
But it really doesn't help anybody to see one gender as subordinate to the other. And I don't believe that's what God intends for us.