What to Say When You Talk to Your Self: Powerful New Techniques to Program Your Potential for Success!

by Shad Helmstetter

div class aplus p You Are What You Believe You Are Simple but profound techniques of Self-Talk that will enable you to get back in control of your lives and turn your dreams into reality This book will bring about dramatic improvement in all areas of your life You will Feel better and accomplish more Achieve more at work and at home Overcome fears Quit bad habits and unhealthy lifestyle Become more confident and much more Self-Talk is based on the latest scientific developments about how the human brain receives and accepts information In this life changing book you will discover how to use this revolutionary technique to reverse negative counterproductive programming of the brain to create a new positive and vibrant life for yourselves The new groundbreaking word forward programming taught in this book can be used by anyone at any time to change the conditioning of the subconscious mind the control center of the brain with new repeated directions You control all the messages silent spoken or written that your brain receives leading to permanent behavioral change p div

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Personal Development, Business, Personal Growth, Productivity

230 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1986

Reviews

[Scott · Rating 4 out of 5]

My favorite 2 paragraphs so far. "After examining the philosophies, the theories, and the practiced methods of influencing human behavior, I was shocked to learn the simplicity of that one small fact: You will become what you think about most; your success or failure in anything, large or small, will depend on your programming - what you accept from others, and what you say when you talk to yourself.
It is no longer a success theory; it is a simple but powerful, fact. Neither luck nor desire has the slightest thing to do with it. It makes no difference whether we believe it or not. The brain simply believes what you tell it most. And what you tell it about you, it will create. It has no choice."

[Peter Ritchie · Rating 1 out of 5]

He spends the first four chapters firstly illustrating his journey, and then explaining the purposes and methods of self help books. I can not believe how badly it is written. I may be wrong and will humbly accept if so. However, there is no continuity to the writing; some sentences are completely out of place. I skipped the next several chapters to reach chapter 14. Finally, I thought, the meat of the pie! But no. It is fair to say that the book was a rather insubstantial piece of work. A novel so far from academic standards I struggle to believe the author has a Phd. Though if I learned one thing that is the majority of University graduates have the capacity to write something to this standard and make money! Don't read the book just know this - saying positive things to yourself is good.

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book. It helped change my live for the better. It says, that the average 18 year old hears, "no," "you can't do it," "your not good enough," and the like 148,000 times. I was especially rotten as a youth, I must have heard it 300,000 time. I came to believe the negative talk. This book helped me break bad habits instilled by others.

I look forward to rereading it every year.

[Karishma · Rating 2 out of 5]

Rating the Idea of the Book: 5/5
Rating the Writing of the Book: 2/5

I started the book with a lot of expectations, convinced that I will be able to get a gameplan by "Dr" Shad Helmstetter. Being a behavioral "researcher", I expected the book to be filled with actual research, reference to scientific studies, etc.

How wrong I was. The narration comes across as a hypocritical "uncle" speaking.

The book starts with shitting on other self-help books, so I felt convinced that this is the book I should read and practice to change my inner narrative or "programming" before I could begin to reshape my life. But the next few chapters just keep rehashing the same idea again and again and again and again and again.... Without any actual scientific evidence, just using plain old tangents and word vomits.

He goes on to shit on motivational speakers, and explains really well the difference between instrinsic and extrinsic motivation. That part was good. But then spends the majority of the next few chapters acting and speaking like one! Like, bro, practice what you preach.

And one part of the book was downright problematic. Here:

"Any of us can talk ourselves into depression and discouragement—and we can as easily talk ourselves out of it."

NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO! As much as we'd want to believe that Depression (the mental illness) can be rid with Yoga and positive thinking and self-talk, sometimes you do need medical intervention and professional help, and statements like these do little to alleviate the stigma that exists for getting help for mental illnesses.

I think that the author meant "feelings or periods of sadness" when he used the word "depression". But not making that distinction comes across as really ignorant and irresponsible from the part of "Dr" Shad Helmstetter.

Another gem:

"The primary reason for this success is that life coaches are “results” oriented, rather than therapy oriented. Well-trained life coaches are very effective in helping their clients produce realistic positive results in multiple areas of their lives—and they help their clients without using past-probing techniques of therapy and psychological counseling."

The author just shit on Therapy as a viable practical source of help and instead promoted "life coaching" as a miraculous, snake oil treatment to life's problems. That too with a full section on life coaching smack in the middle of a chapter that had nothing to do with it. It seems like a lazy after-thought from the author, "Oh, I just remembered I also run a life coaching business. Need to advertise, this page seems appropriate to place it."

If you think you need therapy, PLEASE GO FOR IT!

Don't get me wrong, despite the bad writing, advertorials, and some problematic ideas, I would still recommend this book as a read, but better done with this plan:

Chapters 1 to 9 - Read them.
Chapters 10 to 13 - Skip or Skim.
Chapters 14 - Read (warning: later part of the chapter will be an advertisement for the author's audio tapes, just skim through this part)
Chapter 15 - Definitely Skip.
Chapters 16 to 20 - Skim them.
Chapters 21 to 22 - Read them.
Chapter 23 - The conclusion. Nothing ground breaking. Bad attempt at being a motivational talk (the irony). Can skip or skim.

Again, the idea of changing the inner narrative is very interesting and definitely something I will be starting. I have personally been told that the way I talk of myself seems to underplay me. And there were some nice tips that the book provided.

Maybe the book presented ground breaking ideas when it was first published, but it has not aged well. I will be starting my own course of changing my self talk, but don't think I will credit this book for being an activator. A catalyst? At best, maybe.

Cheers.

[Kamal · Rating 5 out of 5]

بعد كل صفحة:

[Rgrega72]

Completely changed the way I think. Keep positive affirmations with you at all times. The only way to change the way you think is to reprogram the way you think. Instead of feeding your mind with negative words and ideas feed your brain with positive affirmations and ideas. As stated in the book your brain is an apartment with old furniture. Take out the old furniture and throw it away, which is the negative thinking and replace it with new furniture, which is positive thinking. No matter what in your life you want to change you must feed yourself positive affirmations and be specific with the words multiple times a day, atleast 10 - 20 times a day if not more. The more you are consistent with it the easier it becomes and the more noticeable the changes are. You begin to recognize the negativity from the outside and notice how you handle it with a positive response.

[Rileigh Crowe · Rating 1 out of 5]

Since I’m not even sure where to begin with this book, here’s a quick summary:

-Other self-help techniques don’t work, but mine does.
-Saying positive things to yourself is good.
-If you just lie to yourself enough, it’ll eventually come true.
-There are lots of studies backing this up. I’m not going to cite any directly or mention any specific ones, though. Just take my word for it.
-Repeat for 255 pages with a mind-numbing amount of filler.

This book had an interesting concept, but it was not well executed at all. It’s extremely repetitive and it’s painfully clear that the author was just trying to fill a book. The entire beginning of the book consists of him going on about how other self-help techniques don’t work (which I found ironic) because they aren’t based on an understanding of how the brain works, then he goes on to not explain how the brain works. He explains that his techniques are the only ones that create a lasting result, but he doesn’t seem to show any proof of this, which becomes a recurring pattern in the book.

There were a few interesting chapters towards the middle and end of the book, but most of it was still filler and repetition. My main problem with the book was that the author mentions that there are studies backing up whatever he’s talking about, but he doesn’t specifically mention any or cite any. We’re expected to take his word for it. Now, I might be in the minority here, but without citations or references (combined with how vague he is when he talks about them), I have a hard time believing these studies exist.

Maybe I’m the wrong kind of person to be reading this book (I read it for a class), but I don’t think any book is ever going to change your life and magically make all your dreams come true, like this one promises to. I also don’t think you need a 255-page book to know that it’s good to say positive things to yourself. If I hadn’t been required to read this, I would not have finished it.

[Kathleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really helpful book for me when I was going through a painful divorce. Most of us don't realize what the running commentary in our heads is saying. This book encourages you to pay attention, sort out the negatives, and modify the way you talk to yourself. We can be sabotaging ourselves without even knowing it. I highly recommend it for an eye-opening, potentially life-altering experience.

[Chris · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this book many moons ago and I must agree that negative self talk is an issue that we all must overcome. What I didn't like about the book was that at many points from chapter to chapter the book felt like a sales pitch to purchase the tape series. Then you can really overcome your negative self talk.... Good luck, but I'd rather keep my duckets in my pocket rather than forking them over to this clever promoter.

[The Lion's Share · Rating 4 out of 5]

“You are everything that is, your thoughts, your life, your dreams come true. You are everything you choose to be. You are unlimited as the endless universe.”

This self help book is unique to other self help books in that it offers to change that voice in your head.

How? Well it’s quite easy. You must write down powerful statements using the below as guidelines:

Step 1

1. Is it in present tense?
2. Is it specific?
3. Is it depicted as if it’s already been accomplished?
4. Does it get the job done without creating wide effects?
5. Is it easy to use?
6. Is it practical?
7. Is it personal and is it honest?
8. Does it ask enough of me?

Step 2
Then you record yourself saying each statement with feeling (each one three times).

Step 3
After you’ve recorded them all, record them all again (once each) and replace “I”with “you”.

Step 4
Listen to them every day.

Fro example: “I do not bite my nails” (I do but you get the idea)
Or a more advanced one: “I begin each day with a clear mind and a specific plan to get the most from my time and my effort. I follow my plan and I reach my goals.”

So your replacing negative statements in your mind with accomplished positive goals.

Sound straightforward right...?

[Renu · Rating 2 out of 5]

Honestly, the author has wasted his PhD degree. This book in no way was impactful or useful to me. Besides, it serves no purpose to read 256 pages to know that humans have to do positive self-talk. From a PhD holder, I expected scientific evidence for his "beliefs" and not a pastor preaching ethics. The book could have been summarised in a newspaper article. Besides, being pollyannaish about a sinking situation won't get you out of the situation in any way. Being realistic and practical is the only way to self-help. No offence, but those who loved this book might be doing "phoney positive talk".

[Maha · Rating 3 out of 5]

i read a brief of about 33 pages only but really i liked this book.
Some quotations that i loved in this book :))

• To manage you future you must manage yourself.
• Give you brain the right direction & it works well.
**Your success or failure in anything, large or small, will depend on your programming – what you accept from others, and what you say when you talk to yourself.
* The brain simply believes what you tell it the most – It does not care whether it is right or wrong.
* What you think, you will become.
* Whatever thoughts you or others put into you, known or unknown, affect you.

* You are everything that is, Your thoughts, your life, your dreams come true, You are everything you choose to be, You are as unlimited as the endless universe.

[Shevon Quijano · Rating 4 out of 5]

The meat of What to Say When You Talk to Yourself was that we need to consistently be our number one fan. This can be accomplished by regularly saying nice things to yourself through Self Talk phrases, of which the author provides many. I’ll also incorporate the plan to have out loud conversations with myself to talk through situations and emotions.

The first 8 chapters or so were unnecessary...He spent a lot of time on other methods and why they don’t work.

[Jin Kok · Rating 5 out of 5]

The human brain is incredibly powerful personal computer controller and that each word that you input into your mind would determine your attitude on how you decide to do in life. Whether it is mediocre or magnificence.

[Teodora · Rating 1 out of 5]

I chose this book because of the title and now that I finished it... I realize the only thing I like about it is the title. What you say when you talk to yourself is important.

Things I did not like:

1. It made it seem like the only thing between you and your succes is your mind. But how about social problems? How about war? How about laws? How about health issues? How about things that are out of our control? Although he mentioned that "it won't work in some cases" the general vibe was that this book will change your life completely.

2. Although some thoughts we learned in the young stage need to be changed, that doesn't mean that any bad emotion has to be turned around and denied. Sometimes our intuitions don't come from trauma. Sometimes we just need to say "today sucked" and be real with ourselves instead of ignoring our negative feelings.

[Nishant Chandra · Rating 1 out of 5]

How the hell is this 4.11 escapes my mind.

[Taylor Ball · Rating 1 out of 5]

The premise was good and I learned a few really valuable insights. HOWEVER, it’s a very short book and still felt way too long. The gist is how you talk to yourself matters and influences everything you do and everything you will do. There are levels of self talk. Level 1 is outright negative self talk. Eg I can’t do this or that. Level 2 is “I should”. It’s still negative because when you finish the thought there is almost always an underlying negative assumption. Eg “I should exercise more” has some bad underlying assumptions like I’m not a healthy person, I am not active, I struggle to lose weight, etc. Level 3 involves using “never” statements when attempting to change your self talk. For example, repeating “I never smoke” will help you stop smoking bc our brains don’t do well with cognitive dissonance. Level 4 is the best and this type of self talk involves positive, present statements.

That was basically all I learned from the book. It wad incredibly repetitive - which the author acknowledges at the beginning as an intentional decision to help drive home the points. Yet it just seemed he didn’t have enough to say. There were also no citations or references to published studies even though he positions himself as a PhD.

The entire second half is meant to be about how you can implement these ideas and he spends the whole book telling you to buy his audio tapes. Yes, he gives some examples of good self talk but also with a weird warning where he implies that if you don’t use exactly the right words - which only he knows - you’ll cause more damage than good.

1 star because I did learn something and it did remind me to be more aware of my self talk.

Also this book was published 20 years ago yet it was riddled with typos, horribly written sentences and bad grammar.

[Jonathan-David Jackson · Rating 3 out of 5]

The concept is great, and simple: say positive things when you talk to yourself! Tell yourself that the things you want are already true. For example, if I want to be a nicer person, I just say to myself regularly "I am a nice person." My mind hears this, and I begin to behave as I have already told myself I am.

The book is not so great, being maybe 3/4 filler, and overall very boring. I only struggled through it because it was a book my dad liked. It does give information about the specific way to structure self-talk, which is hard to find otherwise, and at least the book was pretty short.

If you want to practice self-talk, I recommend this free app I found, My Affirmations. It lets you create unlimited affirmations and organize them into folders. You can have them as just text, or record them in your own voice.

If anyone wants to know if affirmations really work, ask me after six months (April 2019) and I'll let you know.

[Frank]

Terrible! Most of this book, and I mean 99% of it, is filler. What a waste of time. I give it 0 stars.

[Rebecca · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really like the concept and I will defo take on board the message but the writing style was difficult to get along with and kind of old fashioned.

[Charlotte Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good book all about the way you talk to yourself and the importance your words hold.
‘The brain simply believes what you tell it most. And what you tell it about you, it creates. It has no choice.’

1. Programming creates beliefs
2. Beliefs create attitudes
3. Attitudes create feelings
4. Feelings determine actions
5. Actions create results

Heavy on be your own best friend - ‘all we have to do is ask and our friend will be there, without fail, anytime, in any circumstance’

The self talk checklist
- Present tense
- Specific
- Gets the job done without unwanted side effects
- Easy to use
- Practical
- Personal and honest
- Does it ask enough of you?

[Kiki]

Negative self talk is something we all deal with. This is the first self help book that I've picked up. The book teaches common sense, but I've never given "You are what you say" much thought until this book was recommended to me. This book is already affecting the way I think, and I'm not even half way through. I watch out for negative self talk or thoughts and correct myself.

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was required reading in a college class of mine and I loved it. It is not a big book and it can be hard to get through but I have learned a lot from this book.

[Ms. Reeves · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is very powerful. Words come to life so choosing your words literally means choosing your world.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wish there was more information on why this may work. Neuroplasticity. Being positive does not seem bad, as long as one remains grounded in reality. For instance, taking action along with wishing for improved habits.

That the center section of this book seemed like a sales pitch for the author's audio offerings was off putting.

There are actual statement examples provided in the last section.

Thank you for reading!

[Dide · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this in bits so took a while to finish. Something i have learnt from reading books so far is that no book no matter how biases may be against them is without value.
This is a book that has some good nuggets and like all self help books or instructions, if you don't practice you can't claim it works or not.

[Agnė V. · Rating 4 out of 5]

gal kiek per ilga ir pasikartojanti, bet aš labai tikiu, kad daug dalykų gyvenime prasideda nuo minčių. Ir jeigu save programuojame, kad dalykai bus blogi, tai jie tokie ir bus.

[Niki Monague · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5/5 ⭐️

Therapist Dr Shad explains the importance of changing the way you talk to yourself, that little voice can be changed to more positive, we go through different ways to incorporate this positive self talk into your everyday life, also when things aren’t going so well this is a reminder to get back to your baseline. Now to put the lessons to practice.

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

This audiobook hit just right, enough so that I listened to it twice before returning it to the library, and I've added it to my "future to own" list. This is simple but a powerful way to change your life. Whether it's through writing, thinking to yourself, talking to yourself out loud, talking about yourself to others, or hearing recorded thoughts about yourself either from you or someone else, be mindful in what you say and how you say it. The message that you hear the most is what the brain's subconscious believes.

As a music teacher, I've often told my students that the secret to learning their instrument well is to program the subconscious so that what they play the most feels effortless. The challenge is that the subconscious lacks nuance and could be considered amoral. When it's learning, it notices what you say and what you do, not necessarily what you meant. Case in point: If you're learning a scale on the piano, and you are supposed to use this fingering combination to start (1-2-3-1), but you find yourself practicing by going 1-2-3-4, then saying oops and changing 4 to 1, your conscious brain says "I meant to use finger 1, not finger 4. I'll do better next time." But the subconscious only notices what you did: first use finger 4, then use finger 1. And every time you make that mistake, your body will keep doing it easier and easier because the subconscious is latching on to your actions.

Therefore, the entire concept of this book makes perfect sense to me. When we say, "I can't lose weight" or "I just can't resist eating too many sweets", we might think we're just venting about the struggle, but we're also programming our subconscious with how to behave, and it takes that message as programming, making it so that we really can't lose weight and we really can't resist sweets. The counter to this is to state very clearly what you WANT yourself to be: "I CAN lose weight. I take every opportunity to move. I stop eating just before I'm full. I only make food choices that are good enough for my body. I do not give up when it feels difficult or the numbers aren't decreasing as fast as I might wish." A specific mantra like this that defines your identity so that even while you might still be buying donuts for a few weeks, eventually the persistence of your new message will cause your subconscious to rebel with a thought of its own like "...then why are you eating another donut."

This is one specific example of my own among a variety of ways that this book encourages how changing the way you talk to yourself can change your life, and I'm all for it. To the book's credit, it doesn't say it will be easy, and it doesn't say that you'll see instant or even quick results. Highly recommended!

[Jared Pangier · Rating 5 out of 5]

Two books have changed the way I live my life this year, and this is one of them. Despite being written in 1986 and despite analogizing the human brain to computers with floppy disks, this book maintains its relevancy in a world that is filled with reasons for our brains to think negative thoughts 75-80% of the time. But this book goes way beyond the power of positive thinking. As Shad analogizes, we must remove the old, decrepit furniture which are our negative patterns of thought, and replace them with positive self-talk. This book changed and is changing my life as I listen to my own self-talk recordings (not tapes — but on my iPhone) each morning, recharging my batteries and programming me to live a life of success. I will. I am. It is and I am.

And as for the other book that changed my life? Check out what I wrote on The Alchemist:)