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Don't Let Her See Me Cry
This is the gutsy true story of a woman's remarkable journey from a hopeless young heroin addict facing a prison sentence with a newborn baby to a successful psychologist and mother and best friend to Ali - the daughter who gave her the courage and determination to survive.
Sentenced to the longest drug-related prison term ever meted out to a woman in Victoria, the discovery that she was to become a mother was far from welcome news to Helen Barnacle. The irony was that this tiny helpless being gave her a new lease on life - and a reason to hope. Helen's love and devotion for baby Ali led to her winning an historic battle. In a landmark decision she became the first woman allowed to keep her baby in prison beyond her first birthday.
But three years later Helen had to face every mother's worst nightmare and give up her daughter. While she knew the time had come for Ali to leave the prison for her own good, this did not make the decision any easier. Ali had become her reason for living. Handing her daughter over at the gates of the prison almost destroyed her. In utter despair she resumed her love affair with heroin and was on a hopeless path of destruction until she was caught using in prison. Her brother Ron, the only person who had stood by her, gave her an ultimatum-if she really loved Ali she had to stop thinking of herself and find the courage to live. Helen had first to overcome her lifelong addiction with heroin, a crutch she had relied in since her youth to overcome her feelings of worthlessness.
Thanks to the support of staff at Fairlea's Education Centre the former musican began to rediscover her love of music and study classical music, as well as writing and performing her own work for the Fairlea Drama Group, which evolved into the highly acclaimed Somebody's Daughter Theatre group. Helen also began a Bachelor of Arts degree, majoring in psychology. After leaving prison 12 years ago, she completed her post-graduate studies in psychology and after two years supervision was employed as a psychologist specialising in drug and alcohol problems at TaskForce Community Agency in Prahran. Over the next six years she ran workshops for judges and magistrates, counselled both drug workers and addicts, presented papers for national and international seminars, wrote the drug education booklet 'Tentative Steps', and rose to position of Drug Program Director. She also established a pilot project in the Juvenile Justice System using drama and the arts as therapy with young offenders.
Sentenced to the longest drug-related prison term ever meted out to a woman in Victoria, the discovery that she was to become a mother was far from welcome news to Helen Barnacle. The irony was that this tiny helpless being gave her a new lease on life - and a reason to hope. Helen's love and devotion for baby Ali led to her winning an historic battle. In a landmark decision she became the first woman allowed to keep her baby in prison beyond her first birthday.
But three years later Helen had to face every mother's worst nightmare and give up her daughter. While she knew the time had come for Ali to leave the prison for her own good, this did not make the decision any easier. Ali had become her reason for living. Handing her daughter over at the gates of the prison almost destroyed her. In utter despair she resumed her love affair with heroin and was on a hopeless path of destruction until she was caught using in prison. Her brother Ron, the only person who had stood by her, gave her an ultimatum-if she really loved Ali she had to stop thinking of herself and find the courage to live. Helen had first to overcome her lifelong addiction with heroin, a crutch she had relied in since her youth to overcome her feelings of worthlessness.
Thanks to the support of staff at Fairlea's Education Centre the former musican began to rediscover her love of music and study classical music, as well as writing and performing her own work for the Fairlea Drama Group, which evolved into the highly acclaimed Somebody's Daughter Theatre group. Helen also began a Bachelor of Arts degree, majoring in psychology. After leaving prison 12 years ago, she completed her post-graduate studies in psychology and after two years supervision was employed as a psychologist specialising in drug and alcohol problems at TaskForce Community Agency in Prahran. Over the next six years she ran workshops for judges and magistrates, counselled both drug workers and addicts, presented papers for national and international seminars, wrote the drug education booklet 'Tentative Steps', and rose to position of Drug Program Director. She also established a pilot project in the Juvenile Justice System using drama and the arts as therapy with young offenders.
549 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 14, 2000
16 people are currently reading
193 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
April 16, 2019
Although Don’t Let Her See Me Cry: A Mother’s Story took a while to read I found it extremely interesting. A gripping and sad memoir of a heroin addict facing 15 years in gaol - the longest drug-related sentence handed out to a woman in Victoria. And the first woman permitted to keep her baby in gaol beyond the age of one.
A moving story of a woman who turned her life around.
*Book #6/72 of my coffee table to-read pile challenge
A moving story of a woman who turned her life around.
*Book #6/72 of my coffee table to-read pile challenge
February 14, 2022
A must read, I thought I had an idea about drug use but clearly not. This raw and honest account of Helen's life is a real eye opener. Abuse, drug use, the broken system of incarceration that just perpetuates that cycle is heart wrenching. A well written easy to read biography.
December 1, 2019
3.5 but will bump it up to a 4.
Raw, raw insight into the mindset of a heroin addict (although, as Barnacle would say, she is so much more than that). Engaging and self aware,
this also touches upon the dehumanisation of people who have committed crimes.
Although probably a tad too long, this was a fascinating and very well written read.
Raw, raw insight into the mindset of a heroin addict (although, as Barnacle would say, she is so much more than that). Engaging and self aware,
this also touches upon the dehumanisation of people who have committed crimes.
Although probably a tad too long, this was a fascinating and very well written read.
November 21, 2016
This autobiography provides insight into some of the potential reasons individuals may have for drug use, the impact on micro and macro levels of their life and the difficulties they face, including systematic barriers in withdrawal and abstaining. While there has been in increase in harm minimisation policies to address drug use in Australia since Helen was using and incarcerated (70's and 80's), it reinforced areas that could still be addressed to promote such values, such as specialised bio psychosocial services within prisons for addiction and other psychological experiences, including mental health and trauma.
August 21, 2016
A story of a woman torn between the love of heroin and the love of her child. A long prison sentence for something she didn't do but there were many other illegal acts that she was not caught. She eventually turns her life around and becomes a successful psychologist. drug counsellor and prison reform campaigner. A true story of a difficult life.
August 5, 2016
A must read for so many different people. It is a remarkable eye opening true story of crime and drugs, a world most of us don't know. It is inspirational as to how some people deal with life and can choose to turn things around.
August 15, 2023
Epic read, epic lady!
This book ‘spoke’ to me when I discovered it on a bookshelf upon its release in 2000. I have already read it four times over the past 23 years & am about to read it again!
‘Don’t Let Her See Me Cry’ remains one of my favourite reads of all time & still touches me in the same way it did when I was fortunate enough to discover it all those years ago.
I still have my original copy, which I am lucky enough to have signed with a personal message from Helen. It is one of my most treasured possessions, as it reminds there is good & that we should all have hope.
I have also had the pleasure & privilege to meet with Helen numerous times over the past 23 years. This lady is amazing & a true gift from the ‘universe’ ❤️
I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who is fortunate enough to cross its path. If you have any human spirit inside you at all, please read Helen’s story. I’m quite sure you will experience every human emotion inside & won’t regret it.
I very rarely do reviews on anything but felt the need when it popped up. If this review inspires just one person to read Helen’s book, then my job’s done!
This cruel world needs more people like Helen. If only the ‘system’, whatever that may be, would take a few leaves out of her book! Basic humanity, empathy & compassion are much more beneficial & productive as opposed to ignorance & judgement!
This book ‘spoke’ to me when I discovered it on a bookshelf upon its release in 2000. I have already read it four times over the past 23 years & am about to read it again!
‘Don’t Let Her See Me Cry’ remains one of my favourite reads of all time & still touches me in the same way it did when I was fortunate enough to discover it all those years ago.
I still have my original copy, which I am lucky enough to have signed with a personal message from Helen. It is one of my most treasured possessions, as it reminds there is good & that we should all have hope.
I have also had the pleasure & privilege to meet with Helen numerous times over the past 23 years. This lady is amazing & a true gift from the ‘universe’ ❤️
I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who is fortunate enough to cross its path. If you have any human spirit inside you at all, please read Helen’s story. I’m quite sure you will experience every human emotion inside & won’t regret it.
I very rarely do reviews on anything but felt the need when it popped up. If this review inspires just one person to read Helen’s book, then my job’s done!
This cruel world needs more people like Helen. If only the ‘system’, whatever that may be, would take a few leaves out of her book! Basic humanity, empathy & compassion are much more beneficial & productive as opposed to ignorance & judgement!
April 22, 2020
This is the true story of Helen Barnacle's life of heroin addiction. It details her life from childhood in minute detail and her troubled adolescence, which resulted in her use of heroin and her subsequent imprisonment.
To her surprise (and horror at first) she discovers that she is pregnant whilst awaiting a court appearance - that will eventually sentence her to a minimum of 8 years.
Don't let her see me cry outlines how she was allowed to have her daughter with her for a limited time, while serving her sentence, and what happens afterwards.
As autobiographies go this isn't a bad one. Her behaviour at times, beggars belief - but I guess that's the nature of addiction.
If I have one criticism, I found this book way too long and a bit repetitive.
To her surprise (and horror at first) she discovers that she is pregnant whilst awaiting a court appearance - that will eventually sentence her to a minimum of 8 years.
Don't let her see me cry outlines how she was allowed to have her daughter with her for a limited time, while serving her sentence, and what happens afterwards.
As autobiographies go this isn't a bad one. Her behaviour at times, beggars belief - but I guess that's the nature of addiction.
If I have one criticism, I found this book way too long and a bit repetitive.
March 8, 2021
3.5 Stars
This is beautifully written, however like most long memoirs; there were some dry parts. Helen's story is a tragedy. I always wanted to travel back in time to pull her out of that life. The prologue alone had me hooked. I felt her sense of injustice of being so young and locked up for drug charges. Part of me has always felt that our justice system is broken as well as society. I felt her sense of injustice at being hated for her involvement with drugs.
But, I felt this book was way too long. Her story could have been far shorter and still have depth. I found my self skimming and skipping large chunks of the text without a problem. However, the parts I enjoyed I loved. Helen's story is raw, and in those critical moments, I felt the emotion in her writing.
This is beautifully written, however like most long memoirs; there were some dry parts. Helen's story is a tragedy. I always wanted to travel back in time to pull her out of that life. The prologue alone had me hooked. I felt her sense of injustice of being so young and locked up for drug charges. Part of me has always felt that our justice system is broken as well as society. I felt her sense of injustice at being hated for her involvement with drugs.
But, I felt this book was way too long. Her story could have been far shorter and still have depth. I found my self skimming and skipping large chunks of the text without a problem. However, the parts I enjoyed I loved. Helen's story is raw, and in those critical moments, I felt the emotion in her writing.
January 10, 2025
A re-read for me, having originally read it when it first came out and so much still resonates with me, namely Helen's realisations while in prison that it was a revolving door issue of drugs 'outside', get locked up, released, go back to drugs to cope, re-arrested and back in prison.
Many of her female friends also experienced abuse as kids which led them down this road.
Many of her female friends also experienced abuse as kids which led them down this road.
June 12, 2025
A really good look at a females insight into the harsh realities dealing with serious drug addiction. Unfortunately she is in the low percentile that turns her life around. I do believe that drugs should be legalised thus preventing the stigma of drug users. They too are people like us in our society which we are responsible for. Education about drugs in schools should start at primary school.
March 30, 2024
This book had a very good subject and could be a great use for educational purposes. However, it is written very plain and very simple so it did not contain enough excitement for me to remain drawn into the book.
June 5, 2019
A very interesting look into the life of a Heroin addicted
June 5, 2024
I loved this book!!!! I felt like i learnt a lot, which is something i can't always say after i finish reading a book. I felt honoured to be taken on Barnacle's life journey, and i often find myself thinking back to this book, in the many months after i finished reading it.
April 21, 2008
very sad true story
November 25, 2010
Long story but worth it.
May 13, 2011
Excellent, very well written and very easy to read.I couldn't put the book down, very emotional and heartfelt.
August 7, 2011
not a bad book
August 5, 2012
Fantastic book. One of my favourites
August 8, 2012
Really interesting autobiography. About the first women in Australia to have her child in prison, over the age of one.
April 17, 2014
Good book over all
April 28, 2015
This book is beautiful, it has so many emotions, and gives a completely new point of view!
June 3, 2016
WOW! How honest and indepth a recount!
June 30, 2020
A very interesting book indeed, I discovered an awful lot about the trials of addicts. I also found a new respect for them. Well done Helen (clapping)
August 19, 2012
Far far too long
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews