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Pants on Fire: A Collection of Lies
A misplaced tramp, a castle of nitwits, some dangerous mirrors, a crusade against hugs, a conversation with a very somber wheat farmer, and this pesky little thing called "the Rapture"; all these and more pepper the pages of Pants on Fire: A Collection of Lies. It's a set of quirky, twisted, macabre, hilarious tales crammed into one beautifully pants-burning package.
170 pages, ebook
First published January 1, 2013
59 people are currently reading
516 people want to read
About the author
Clayton Smith
22 books149 followersClayton Smith is a writer, teacher, and entrepreneur based in Chicago. He is an assistant professor of instruction in the Business and Entrepreneurship Department at Columbia College Chicago, and he is the co-founder of Media Empire Media. His work includes the novels Apocalypticon, Anomaly Flats, and Na Akua and the comedic plays Death and McCootie and The Depths.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
February 21, 2016
We all know how I feel about flash fiction, which is why the one extra star that I would have given has been docked here. Mr. Clayton has style though, undoubtedly, and I did enjoy this collection of short stories. While there is a high chance I might pick up another of his books, this just wasn't it for me. Again, this is more of a case of 'it's not you, it's me' rather than the book not being good for reals. The endings felt too forced, you know? I was all caught up in the story, taking it in, savouring it, and then bam, it used to end. Suddenly and out of the blue, like the light at the end of the tunnel was a freight train coming my way. And with this Metallica reference, I end this review.
December 6, 2013
In a word: Brilliant. Smith's writing is succinct and very smart, at times poignant and other times laugh out loud funny. The stories in "Pants on Fire" take the reader on journeys through well crafted worlds with interesting and unique people to meet along the way.
The stories are short and easy to read. This is a wonderful book for anyone who enjoys well told stories.
The stories are short and easy to read. This is a wonderful book for anyone who enjoys well told stories.
December 8, 2014
Devilishly Clever, and That’s No Lie
4.5 Stars
This collection of lies is a thoroughly enjoyable read. Filled with wit, humor, and a dash of creepy fun this collection of tales will keep you reading and leave you wanting more. I would highly recommend these stories to readers who enjoyed The Twilight Zone or perhaps even the lighter side of Tales from the Crypt.
4.5 Stars
This collection of lies is a thoroughly enjoyable read. Filled with wit, humor, and a dash of creepy fun this collection of tales will keep you reading and leave you wanting more. I would highly recommend these stories to readers who enjoyed The Twilight Zone or perhaps even the lighter side of Tales from the Crypt.
May 16, 2017
This is a collection of short stories that says more than any other collection I've read, especially the story 'The World, with Roger Blink' that the author really wishes he could have been around to write for Monty Python's Flying Circus. It has a lot of that droll, flat, deadpan wit that went over well in the early 1970's but has become less and less popular as shows and books as wee now feel they need to explain 'that was a joke, you're supposed to laugh now. We'll leave how long up to you. But be on the lookout, another joke isn't far off.
The collection is mostly hit or miss (a bit too much miss) urban fiction with a bit of science fiction and fantasy tossed into the mix. The one exception being 'The Saloon at the Edge of Gehenna (A Story in Three Parts)' which I would list as one of the better short stories I've read in years and a concept I could easily see being stretched into a full novel. In my opinion it's a crime the author hasn't realized he's got something here that could easily capture an audience with a full length book within the concept he's created.
The majority of the rest of the stories are readable which does put them ahead of much of the dreck being published these days. It's not something you'll regret reading there's just not a lot that's memorable. Okay, with that one exception, just not exceptional.
The collection is mostly hit or miss (a bit too much miss) urban fiction with a bit of science fiction and fantasy tossed into the mix. The one exception being 'The Saloon at the Edge of Gehenna (A Story in Three Parts)' which I would list as one of the better short stories I've read in years and a concept I could easily see being stretched into a full novel. In my opinion it's a crime the author hasn't realized he's got something here that could easily capture an audience with a full length book within the concept he's created.
The majority of the rest of the stories are readable which does put them ahead of much of the dreck being published these days. It's not something you'll regret reading there's just not a lot that's memorable. Okay, with that one exception, just not exceptional.
September 21, 2017
Pants on Fire is a collection of short stories that are most definitely all lies. Some are better than others. Some are funny, some are creepy, some make you think. Overall, I found them to be quite enjoyable, particularly the shorter ones. It’s an odd little book for sure.
September 13, 2018
Very strong start. The blend of stories was well thought out. Some were downright hilarious, others had me scared to turn off the light. An interesting collection.
January 11, 2025
What a great read to end the year. As Short stories go, this may be in the realm of as good as it gets. Maybe for me it’s just too much New Year’s Single Malt, or just a warm feeling about really great writing.!
March 12, 2016
Wow. This book was really not what I expected at all. Ironically, that's exactly why I loved it so much. Needless to say, I don't hang out in the Humour section very often. However, "Pants on Fire: A Collection of Lies" turned up on my Bookbub recommendations and I decided I was curious and it was time to give it a try.
See when I think of humour, I'm used to the slapstick, quick-and-obvious type you get from TV shows or comedians. This was totally different! At first, when reading "The Death (or Life) of Hattie Dunweather", I was confused and didn't really understand what was going on and how I was meant to feel about it. As I read the other stories, I realised that was the point and it was wonderful - the stories are so full of really non-sensical and quirky events, weird and funny situations that the best way to enjoy them is honestly to just roll with it and enjoy the ride!
Another thing that threw me a little is that many of these stories do not have that "happy-go-lucky" feel that I was expecting (maybe due to lack of experience, I don't really know). In fact, quite a lot of these stories are quite macabre and unsettling, namely "Mirrored", "The Amazing Brutillo" and "The Sandalman Song". They definitely make you feel uneasy but at the same time, they are just so bizarre and mess with such genuine day-to-day thoughts and fears that I can (to some extent) appreciate the dark humour and irony in a way I didn't think I could do.
In terms of recommending this book, I would warn that the type of humour we get from this book is not one that will appeal to everyone: I'm sure I know some people who would just find it "too weird" but personally, I liked how it knocked me off my feet and destroyed my expectations (in the best way). The stories are super short so I'd definitely recommend anyone who is curious to give it a try. It may be bizarre and unexpected but roll with it and it won't disappoint!
See when I think of humour, I'm used to the slapstick, quick-and-obvious type you get from TV shows or comedians. This was totally different! At first, when reading "The Death (or Life) of Hattie Dunweather", I was confused and didn't really understand what was going on and how I was meant to feel about it. As I read the other stories, I realised that was the point and it was wonderful - the stories are so full of really non-sensical and quirky events, weird and funny situations that the best way to enjoy them is honestly to just roll with it and enjoy the ride!
Another thing that threw me a little is that many of these stories do not have that "happy-go-lucky" feel that I was expecting (maybe due to lack of experience, I don't really know). In fact, quite a lot of these stories are quite macabre and unsettling, namely "Mirrored", "The Amazing Brutillo" and "The Sandalman Song". They definitely make you feel uneasy but at the same time, they are just so bizarre and mess with such genuine day-to-day thoughts and fears that I can (to some extent) appreciate the dark humour and irony in a way I didn't think I could do.
In terms of recommending this book, I would warn that the type of humour we get from this book is not one that will appeal to everyone: I'm sure I know some people who would just find it "too weird" but personally, I liked how it knocked me off my feet and destroyed my expectations (in the best way). The stories are super short so I'd definitely recommend anyone who is curious to give it a try. It may be bizarre and unexpected but roll with it and it won't disappoint!
July 3, 2014
If you’re anything like me, you love to read, but you don’t have the time or energy to sit up until 3am reading “just one more chapter”. Especially when you have an alarm going off at 6am the next day.
You are like me? Awesome! Well...step right up! I’ve got the book for you!
PANTS ON FIRE: A COLLECTION OF LIES by Clayton Smith is a book of short stories that will have you staying up until 3am reading “just one more short story”! That, unlike the title of the book, is no lie. I picked it up when it was on a freebie promotion, on recommendation from a friend, but it is well worth the regular price.
The book is filled with 17 (18 if you include the award winning “The Mustache”) short stories. Each one brimming with random goodness that makes you want to keep reading. The best part is depending on how much time you have, you can read one, two or more stories in one sitting.
I read PANTS ON FIRE in three separate sittings because it worked out best that way for me, but I could have easily read it all in one sitting if I had the extra time. It was great! There were a couple stories that were a little slow for my liking, but the rest were just my kind of fun. I can’t tell you which was my favorite because there were a few that instantly were top of the list. You’ll just have to find out for yourselves. ;-)
I have another of Mr. Smith’s books (APOCALYPTICON) on my Kindle and am looking forward to digging into that one soon. I’m sure I’ll enjoy it just as much as I did PANTS ON FIRE.
You are like me? Awesome! Well...step right up! I’ve got the book for you!
PANTS ON FIRE: A COLLECTION OF LIES by Clayton Smith is a book of short stories that will have you staying up until 3am reading “just one more short story”! That, unlike the title of the book, is no lie. I picked it up when it was on a freebie promotion, on recommendation from a friend, but it is well worth the regular price.
The book is filled with 17 (18 if you include the award winning “The Mustache”) short stories. Each one brimming with random goodness that makes you want to keep reading. The best part is depending on how much time you have, you can read one, two or more stories in one sitting.
I read PANTS ON FIRE in three separate sittings because it worked out best that way for me, but I could have easily read it all in one sitting if I had the extra time. It was great! There were a couple stories that were a little slow for my liking, but the rest were just my kind of fun. I can’t tell you which was my favorite because there were a few that instantly were top of the list. You’ll just have to find out for yourselves. ;-)
I have another of Mr. Smith’s books (APOCALYPTICON) on my Kindle and am looking forward to digging into that one soon. I’m sure I’ll enjoy it just as much as I did PANTS ON FIRE.
April 20, 2016
A mixed bag, but worth reading.
This collection of short stories was a little all over the place. Some are genuinely funny (the first one in particular), some are interesting, some are gripping and/or disturbing (Sandalman, I'm looking at you...), and some are just kind of strange and seem to be full of unfulfilled potential.
Some of the shorter stories seem like descriptions of either nothing much, or of something weird, and then not much happens and it ends abruptly. It's a bit unsatisfying. And there were a few stories that had a really good build-up but the ending didn't fulfil the promise ( Cold Feet and The Rapture... being good examples).
My favourites were The Life (and Death)..., Mirrored and It's in the Cards.
I also really enjoyed The Saloon... and thought it brought up some really interesting concepts, but they were mostly referred to off-hand and given no proper background or detail. I feel like this could easily be the basis for a sci-fi novel if given a bit more room to grow. It's almost like it's an outline for a novel rather than a (slightly long) short story.
So, Clayton Smith is clearly a good writer, who can pull of a lot of different styles and has a fantastic imagination - I just wish he'd given some of the stories more room to grow and maybe polished them a little more.
Overall I enjoyed this quick read and would recommend it.
This collection of short stories was a little all over the place. Some are genuinely funny (the first one in particular), some are interesting, some are gripping and/or disturbing (Sandalman, I'm looking at you...), and some are just kind of strange and seem to be full of unfulfilled potential.
Some of the shorter stories seem like descriptions of either nothing much, or of something weird, and then not much happens and it ends abruptly. It's a bit unsatisfying. And there were a few stories that had a really good build-up but the ending didn't fulfil the promise ( Cold Feet and The Rapture... being good examples).
My favourites were The Life (and Death)..., Mirrored and It's in the Cards.
I also really enjoyed The Saloon... and thought it brought up some really interesting concepts, but they were mostly referred to off-hand and given no proper background or detail. I feel like this could easily be the basis for a sci-fi novel if given a bit more room to grow. It's almost like it's an outline for a novel rather than a (slightly long) short story.
So, Clayton Smith is clearly a good writer, who can pull of a lot of different styles and has a fantastic imagination - I just wish he'd given some of the stories more room to grow and maybe polished them a little more.
Overall I enjoyed this quick read and would recommend it.
February 28, 2016
I received this book for free.
I got a Kindle as there are times I cannot read a paperback. I think this book has justified that decision. It is dark in a lot of places. It could be an out-take from Monty Python in other places. It could be a book to give you nightmares in others.
From the award winning story 'The Mustache', you know you are going to be reading something different. It mixes dark humour with horror and farce in a way I have not read before. I thoroughly enjoyed it from cover to cover (errm... if it had covers. I am not used to reviewing e-books yet).I highly recommend it to readers who want something a bit different!
I got a Kindle as there are times I cannot read a paperback. I think this book has justified that decision. It is dark in a lot of places. It could be an out-take from Monty Python in other places. It could be a book to give you nightmares in others.
From the award winning story 'The Mustache', you know you are going to be reading something different. It mixes dark humour with horror and farce in a way I have not read before. I thoroughly enjoyed it from cover to cover (errm... if it had covers. I am not used to reviewing e-books yet).I highly recommend it to readers who want something a bit different!
April 19, 2016
The book is very interesting collection of stories and is a really quick read. Some of the stories are better then others but atlas they are far better then anything i could ever do. The book is full of comedy and humor(are they the same thing who knows maybe if you read the book you will find out) it truly shows Clayton Smiths potential I look forward to reading more of his work in the future this book is a must read if you like some good jokes and lies.
I will definitely recommended this to anyone who is in need of some good wholesome humor.
Was a really great read to start the week off with.
I will definitely recommended this to anyone who is in need of some good wholesome humor.
Was a really great read to start the week off with.
March 15, 2014
Clayton Smith has crafted a smart, whimsical collection of quick tales that put the author's wit and talent for ironic humor front and center. They read like well-told campfire stories, each with a sly element of magical realism or a clever Twilight-Zone-ish twist—and in some (such as “In the Cards,” my personal favorite) he even sneaks in a thread of real-life poignancy. Clever, twisty and poignant: a difficult three-point turn to pull off, but Mr. Smith does it all over the place here, with ease and aplomb. Highly recommended.
January 20, 2014
Smart, inventive and with a style similar to that of Lemony Snicket, this small collection of charming short stories is a refreshing change of pace. Filled with quirky cautionary tales and twisted horror stories, Clayton Smith's morbid sense of humor and creative storytelling never fails to keep me interested, if not laughing out loud. A strong recommendation for anyone who enjoys hilarious and well-written fiction pieces.
February 22, 2016
A good collection of short stories
The book is very interesting collection of stories and is a really quick read. Some of the stories are better then others but they all outweigh anything I could inevitability do. The book is full of comedy and humor it truly shows Clayton Smith potential I look for word to reading books by him in the future.
Will definitely recommended to anyone who is need of some good wholesome humor!
Great Read!
The book is very interesting collection of stories and is a really quick read. Some of the stories are better then others but they all outweigh anything I could inevitability do. The book is full of comedy and humor it truly shows Clayton Smith potential I look for word to reading books by him in the future.
Will definitely recommended to anyone who is need of some good wholesome humor!
Great Read!
March 23, 2016
Eclectic Read
I will typically read a collection of short stories as a time filler before beginning a new book or during wait times at appointments when it could be ten minutes or an hour. That said, this collection did make me laugh out loud. I highly recommend The Pepper Shaker. But, the collection left me a little confused. Maybe that was the point.
Either way, just for the story mentioned above, this collection should be sifted through.
I will typically read a collection of short stories as a time filler before beginning a new book or during wait times at appointments when it could be ten minutes or an hour. That said, this collection did make me laugh out loud. I highly recommend The Pepper Shaker. But, the collection left me a little confused. Maybe that was the point.
Either way, just for the story mentioned above, this collection should be sifted through.
February 23, 2016
"Smith can definitely write. His dialogue is snappy, his powers of description are terrific, and he has plenty of imagination." The book proved to be wicked fun, and short stories format makes for easy reading. The supernatural genre is not something I was much into, but the way Mr Smith coats it with his ironic humor, one can’t help but chuckle.
April 24, 2016
So funny
I loved a lot of the stories in this book. Some of them I chuckled a little and some of them I laughed out loud while reading them. I could see some of these being acted out on YouTube like the camel story or even the last story in the book. This book was worth reading for the laughs.
I loved a lot of the stories in this book. Some of them I chuckled a little and some of them I laughed out loud while reading them. I could see some of these being acted out on YouTube like the camel story or even the last story in the book. This book was worth reading for the laughs.
May 7, 2016
Great!
The stories/lies in this book are very entertaining. I especially enjoyed the mustache one, it made me laugh pretty hard. I borrowed this from Amazon, but I can totally see myself purchasing it eventually. Also I highly recommend the author's book Apocalypticon, I own it and have reread it and it led me to this collection.
The stories/lies in this book are very entertaining. I especially enjoyed the mustache one, it made me laugh pretty hard. I borrowed this from Amazon, but I can totally see myself purchasing it eventually. Also I highly recommend the author's book Apocalypticon, I own it and have reread it and it led me to this collection.
August 14, 2014
Amazing. It was hard to believe that this was a collection of stories from one writer. It reminded me strongly of the Twilight Zone, a range of completely mind-twisting tales that ranged from fanciful to downright terrifying (a la old style Stephen King, but more eloquent).
July 7, 2015
This is a fantastic collection of short stories. The majority are witty, creative, and fun. A few are allegories, a few are tall tales. There is a long one in the middle that wasn't my favorite, but overall this is a great collection. If you enjoy short stories, check this out!
March 2, 2016
It's all lies!
A funny collection of stories from Mr Smith. Humorous and eclectic, I really enjoy his writing style. Nice range of characters and plots, if you like this you will love his full length stories.
A funny collection of stories from Mr Smith. Humorous and eclectic, I really enjoy his writing style. Nice range of characters and plots, if you like this you will love his full length stories.
Read
March 27, 2016This book was Okay. Like many collection of shorts some were good some missed the mark completely. I do not think I would recommend this as a book to buy, but if you get it for free as I did why not.
June 29, 2016
This book of short stories has a little bit of everything and the story quality also ranges from good to excellent. I read these over a period, finding that reading more than one or two at a time wasn't as much fun. Worked well as a literary Amuse Bouche.
March 16, 2016
Short stories
Some stories are unique to say the least. Some are just silly. Not as good a book as I thought it would be.
Some stories are unique to say the least. Some are just silly. Not as good a book as I thought it would be.
March 1, 2016
I adore short story collections. And I really adore quirky short story collections. There is something for everyone.
March 2, 2016
Good short stories.
April 9, 2016
Some of the stories I enjoyed, others still seem to haunt my nightmares. Quick and easy to read, but the style was repeated over and over despite the change of characters.
June 11, 2016
A collection of short stories, some humorous, some with a horror bent.
June 14, 2016
Quirky
Have always liked a quirky sense of humor and Mr Smith's stories are loaded with it. In this case the short stories fit my schedule perfectly.
Have always liked a quirky sense of humor and Mr Smith's stories are loaded with it. In this case the short stories fit my schedule perfectly.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews