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Etiquette for the End of the World
From the author of The Art of Mingling comes a witty romantic comedy about endings…and new beginnings
RULE #1: DON’T PANIC—IT ONLY ATTRACTS SHARKS
It’s not the end of the world. That’s what depressed, 39-year-old Tess Eliot has to remind herself after losing her newspaper column and being dumped by her boyfriend for a younger woman (a feng shui expert? Really?) But when Tess gets hired by a wacky cult to write an etiquette guide to prepare for what the cult believes is imminent global catastrophe, she begins to ask herself: “Wait—could the world actually be coming to an end?”
At first, Tess fakes her way through chapters like “Boundaries in the Bunker” and “Cannibalism: Yes or No?” Then she uncovers what appears to be a bona fide plot for world destruction, and she embarks on a life-changing odyssey—involving all-too-close encounters with touchy-feely survivalists and conspiracy theorists, and one handsome guy who seems way too perfect. Filled with wit and insight (including the “Twelve Rules to Live and Die By”), Etiquette for the End of the World is laugh-out-loud fun, with surprising life lessons along the way.
“When the world comes to an end, I want Jeanne Martinet at my side, giving me dating protocol and telling me how to carry my weapons. Etiquette for the End of the World is brilliant, page-turning fun.”
-- Debra Galant, author of Rattled
“Jeanne Martinet has written a wise and witty novel, full of surprises and lovable characters.”
-- Richard Marek, author of Works of Genius
"Warmhearted and deliciously sly...Read it, laugh out loud, and be prepared for anything!"
-- Laura Moore, author of Trouble Me
“A funny, charming and knowing look at post-2012 romance.”
-- Dalma Heyn, author of Marriage Shock: The Transformation of Women into Wives
“Smart and funny”
-- Randy Cohen, author of Be Good: How to Navigate the Ethics of Everything
RULE #1: DON’T PANIC—IT ONLY ATTRACTS SHARKS
It’s not the end of the world. That’s what depressed, 39-year-old Tess Eliot has to remind herself after losing her newspaper column and being dumped by her boyfriend for a younger woman (a feng shui expert? Really?) But when Tess gets hired by a wacky cult to write an etiquette guide to prepare for what the cult believes is imminent global catastrophe, she begins to ask herself: “Wait—could the world actually be coming to an end?”
At first, Tess fakes her way through chapters like “Boundaries in the Bunker” and “Cannibalism: Yes or No?” Then she uncovers what appears to be a bona fide plot for world destruction, and she embarks on a life-changing odyssey—involving all-too-close encounters with touchy-feely survivalists and conspiracy theorists, and one handsome guy who seems way too perfect. Filled with wit and insight (including the “Twelve Rules to Live and Die By”), Etiquette for the End of the World is laugh-out-loud fun, with surprising life lessons along the way.
“When the world comes to an end, I want Jeanne Martinet at my side, giving me dating protocol and telling me how to carry my weapons. Etiquette for the End of the World is brilliant, page-turning fun.”
-- Debra Galant, author of Rattled
“Jeanne Martinet has written a wise and witty novel, full of surprises and lovable characters.”
-- Richard Marek, author of Works of Genius
"Warmhearted and deliciously sly...Read it, laugh out loud, and be prepared for anything!"
-- Laura Moore, author of Trouble Me
“A funny, charming and knowing look at post-2012 romance.”
-- Dalma Heyn, author of Marriage Shock: The Transformation of Women into Wives
“Smart and funny”
-- Randy Cohen, author of Be Good: How to Navigate the Ethics of Everything
280 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 31, 2012
10 people are currently reading
390 people want to read
About the author
Jeanne Martinet
12 books24 followersJeanne Martinet is the author of nine books, including the just-out MINGLING WITH THE ENEMY as well as THE ART OF MINGLING, which has sold more than 150,000 copies and been published in ten countries. She has been featured in such publications as: The New York Times, The New York Daily News, Newsweek, The U.S. News and World Report, Salon.com, The Chicago Tribune, The Boston Globe, TimeOut New York, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, The Washington Post, The San Francisco Chronicle and The Huffington Post. Martinet has shared her humor and mingling know-how on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including NBC's "The Today Show," and NPR's "Morning Edition."
Jeanne Martinet, AKA "Miss Mingle," lives, writes and mingles in New York City.
Jeanne Martinet, AKA "Miss Mingle," lives, writes and mingles in New York City.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 61 reviews
August 16, 2012
As seen on my blog (read my interview with the author!):
*Note: This is a 4.5/5 rating*
There has not been a book that's made me laugh out loud like this in a long time. A few pages in and I was already completely taken by Tess Eliot, and her slew of misfortunes. She was such an easy character to relate to-throw in her love for writing and her job experience in multiple publishing houses, and she officially became one of my favourite female characters, not to mention one I envied. It was so refreshing to follow a female protagonist that was portrayed as strong, confident and daring. So many books these days-or maybe the one's I've been reading-feature female leads that are weak and overly dependant.
In terms of secondary characters, Jeanne wrote some of the most amazingly witty and hilarious ones I have ever had the pleasure of meeting in print. Ginny, Tess's best friend, was your classic skeptic, and I loved so much of her dialogue:
"I don't know, Tess. I mean, they sound like a cult, and I just think, after all you've been through, it's like you've been thrown in the river and you're climbing on the back of a crocodile, just because it's the only thing that looks like land"
Harriet, her mentor, was, hands-down, my absolute favourite. I love me some bitter and cynical 80-year-old lady characters. I can't pick one particular quote of hers, because I loved every second she was speaking.
The storyline in this book was exhilarating, and SO out of the ordinary. Just when I thought it was going in one direction, it picked me and threw me somewhere else entirely. At one point I found myself in Mexico City-where Tess's surroundings were described so beautifully and realistically, I literally felt the sea breeze on my face, and saw every colour of those Monarch butterflies as they flew away:
"[...]They did indeed hang from the leaves of the trees, bending the limbs, so that all you could see was the flickering vibration of orange, like sparkling orange water. They would take off in waves, as if they were moving on cue to music. And when they moved off a tree en masse, it was if the had come to life[...]" Beautiful.
All the while, the idea of doomsday, December 21,2012, looms over the characters (and the reader's) heads. But both Tess and Jeanne manage to make the very idea feel light-hearted and humorous. I want to quote so many more lines, but I would definitely be here all night. This book was an absolute delight to read, and I can only hope that Miss Jeanne continues to entertain us with her fiction-what a great first delve into the genre!
----------
*DISCLAIMER* I received this book from the publisher via NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.
*Note: This is a 4.5/5 rating*
There has not been a book that's made me laugh out loud like this in a long time. A few pages in and I was already completely taken by Tess Eliot, and her slew of misfortunes. She was such an easy character to relate to-throw in her love for writing and her job experience in multiple publishing houses, and she officially became one of my favourite female characters, not to mention one I envied. It was so refreshing to follow a female protagonist that was portrayed as strong, confident and daring. So many books these days-or maybe the one's I've been reading-feature female leads that are weak and overly dependant.
In terms of secondary characters, Jeanne wrote some of the most amazingly witty and hilarious ones I have ever had the pleasure of meeting in print. Ginny, Tess's best friend, was your classic skeptic, and I loved so much of her dialogue:
"I don't know, Tess. I mean, they sound like a cult, and I just think, after all you've been through, it's like you've been thrown in the river and you're climbing on the back of a crocodile, just because it's the only thing that looks like land"
Harriet, her mentor, was, hands-down, my absolute favourite. I love me some bitter and cynical 80-year-old lady characters. I can't pick one particular quote of hers, because I loved every second she was speaking.
The storyline in this book was exhilarating, and SO out of the ordinary. Just when I thought it was going in one direction, it picked me and threw me somewhere else entirely. At one point I found myself in Mexico City-where Tess's surroundings were described so beautifully and realistically, I literally felt the sea breeze on my face, and saw every colour of those Monarch butterflies as they flew away:
"[...]They did indeed hang from the leaves of the trees, bending the limbs, so that all you could see was the flickering vibration of orange, like sparkling orange water. They would take off in waves, as if they were moving on cue to music. And when they moved off a tree en masse, it was if the had come to life[...]" Beautiful.
All the while, the idea of doomsday, December 21,2012, looms over the characters (and the reader's) heads. But both Tess and Jeanne manage to make the very idea feel light-hearted and humorous. I want to quote so many more lines, but I would definitely be here all night. This book was an absolute delight to read, and I can only hope that Miss Jeanne continues to entertain us with her fiction-what a great first delve into the genre!
----------
*DISCLAIMER* I received this book from the publisher via NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.
February 12, 2015
I'm afraid I've been too liberal with my stars as of late, and this book was supposed to be first on the receiving list of my new crackdown. But the book was too good! It earned its five stars, so here I go again, handing out a five star rating like I have them to spare. This book was a delight, from beginning to end! There's lovable characters, romance, mystery, and hilarity.
Tess Eliot's world is falling apart when she loses her brother to a family feud, then her boyfriend to another woman, and finally her newspaper column. So it makes a kind of poetic sense that the one paying project she can find is to to write an etiquette guide for the end of the world commissioned by a doomsday group.
The book had just enough ridiculous in it to lighten to mood (the favorite local bar is the Scrub-a-Dub-Pub, which used to be a laundrymat) but it's never so crazy as to be unbelievable. There are quotable lines throughout, and I found myself stopping over and over to highlight a great moment. One favorite was Tess' response to a gorgeous guy flirting with her, "Maybe she was having a long overdue nervous breakdown, and Peter was part of the hallucination. If so, she certainly had to hand it to her subconscious: What a great way to nuts."
What was surprising to me, and probably part of why the book was such a good time, was that I was completely and entirely along with Tess for the ride. As she digs deeper into this 12/21/12 prophecy I found myself beginning to wonder and worry if there wasn't some truth to it, then as Tess spoke to doubters I was soothed, and by the end I was like Tess. A doubter, but not totally confident in that position.
Of course with an end-of-the-world book you have to wonder, how on earth is the author going to wrap this up? Well she did it well and she did it in a, to me, unexpected way. Without spoiling anything, I will say that there was another twist to the story that caught me completely off guard and I loved it! Well done, Martinet!
Bravo! I'm looking forward to reading more of this author.
*I received this ebook as an ARC via NetGalley.
Tess Eliot's world is falling apart when she loses her brother to a family feud, then her boyfriend to another woman, and finally her newspaper column. So it makes a kind of poetic sense that the one paying project she can find is to to write an etiquette guide for the end of the world commissioned by a doomsday group.
The book had just enough ridiculous in it to lighten to mood (the favorite local bar is the Scrub-a-Dub-Pub, which used to be a laundrymat) but it's never so crazy as to be unbelievable. There are quotable lines throughout, and I found myself stopping over and over to highlight a great moment. One favorite was Tess' response to a gorgeous guy flirting with her, "Maybe she was having a long overdue nervous breakdown, and Peter was part of the hallucination. If so, she certainly had to hand it to her subconscious: What a great way to nuts."
What was surprising to me, and probably part of why the book was such a good time, was that I was completely and entirely along with Tess for the ride. As she digs deeper into this 12/21/12 prophecy I found myself beginning to wonder and worry if there wasn't some truth to it, then as Tess spoke to doubters I was soothed, and by the end I was like Tess. A doubter, but not totally confident in that position.
Of course with an end-of-the-world book you have to wonder, how on earth is the author going to wrap this up? Well she did it well and she did it in a, to me, unexpected way. Without spoiling anything, I will say that there was another twist to the story that caught me completely off guard and I loved it! Well done, Martinet!
Bravo! I'm looking forward to reading more of this author.
*I received this ebook as an ARC via NetGalley.
September 6, 2012
Read This Review & More Like It At Ageless Pages Reviews
Original Review: What the fuck did I just read?
After a couple of days:
Dear Tess Knows Best Eliot,
I’m going through a really difficult time right now. I have to write a review of Etiquette for the End of the World, but even though it was really boring, offensive, and schizophrenic, I can’t come up with anything to say! How do you even start reviewing a book that calls itself a romantic comedy, but is more All About Steve than Annie Hall? The romantic “twist” is so badly telegraphed it hardly counts, and is offensive as hell to boot! Plus, halfway through, the author completely forgot she was writing a romantic comedy and turned it into a conspiracy thriller/supernatural/travel fiction! No, I don’t know how it’s all supposed to work, either. As a famous columnist, and one time chapter header writer on an etiquette guide, can you get me out of this?
Sincerely,
Bored of Everlasting Stupid Tropes, Reading Even Very Irritatingly Exasperating Works for Enthusiastic Review, Even Veritably Enraging Romances
Dear BEST REVIEWER EVER,
When my boyfriend Matt dumped me for my feng-shui expert neighbor, I didn’t sit at home and moan. I went to the bar and ordered laundry-themed drinks from my hot, gay BFF. And when I lost my job writing this column, (sorry this won’t get published in some big-shot NYC newspaper, by the way,) I didn’t wallow in self pity. I went to the bar and ordered laundry-themed drinks from my hot, gay BFF! BEST REVIEWER EVER, what I’m saying is you need to get out of your slump. Fly to Mexico or London or the beach, even if you’re flat broke like yours truly. The change of scenery, and all the gin, will do you good.
If that still doesn’t help BEST REVIEWER EVER, we’re going to have to get drastic. First, steal mail from your 84 year old ex-boss. Then go visit some end of the world loonies and take a massively profitable writing job, even if it will embroil you in an international cult trying to bring about the apocalypse. There, BEST REVIEWER EVER, you’ll meet a smoking hot, mysterious Hollywood exec. who will sweep you off your feet in a whirlwind romance unlike any you have ever know. It’s only a shame he’s also a pathological liar who will tell you his ex-girlfriend stabbed all of his suits, when it was really the cult members, keeping you from getting out while you still can. When he stands you up on New Years, causing you to panic and reveal the detective work you’ve been doing on the side to one of the sketchiest cult members of all, don’t drown your sorrows at the bar…oh no wait, yes do that.
BEST REVIEWER EVER, now’s the part where it gets really tricky. Remember that detective work I mentioned? Well you are going to research a new idea for the end of the world. It will lead you to a librarian who will tell you she found secret plans for a nanobot that could bring down all technology as we know it. Being afraid of these plans falling into wrong hands, she won’t destroy them. She will hide them in an obscure book about beetles. The psycho you’re working for will be obsessed with beetles. His lackey, the one cutting up suits and the one you’re going to have to reveal all these plans to, will steal the book for his boss, inadvertently stealing the apocalypse plans too. I know this is a lot to take in, so pause for a stiff drink.
You may need to take time out for a side plot about your brother stealing your inheritance, I know mine did. This will probably result in baby rabies and a psychic salad-dressing obsessed aunt. You will also start having prophetic dreams about Mexico and earthquakes, just like one of the nutters at the cult. This is totally normal and not mass hysteria, but a tiny bit of the supernatural. Just to spice life up.
Anyway BEST REVIEWER EVER, don’t bother going to the police, because they think you’re nuts. Gather up Gay BFF and fly to London to meet with the cult leader in person. He’ll turn out to be even more mad scientist-y than feared, but you’ll be able to talk your way out of him killing you. You may even get gifts! Make sure to steal a vial of his nanobot solution, because you’re going to need that to prove you haven’t had too many Spin Cycles. On the way home, you’ll meet that same librarian, who’s now a stewardess, and she’ll be able to smuggle the vial through customs for you. This will leave you free to confess to Gay BFF that you’re in love with him. He’ll confess that he’s not really gay; his “boyfriend” is actually his son! (This is a very advanced maneuver, BEST REVIEWER EVER, don’t try this unless you’re sure you’re in a terrible book.) You may now advance to your HEA.
In the end, the Hollywood Exec. will show back up for you to realize he was just a rebound. The government will totally let you go incite hysteria while they quietly deal with the wacko cult leader, whose serum didn’t even work anyway. You’ll settle down to being the stepmother of not-Gay BFF’s kid, while you both make hilarious gay jokes about how could you ever think he was a queen, giiiiirlfriend? And then you’ll get a book deal out of the whole thing! If that’s not enough to break through writer’s block, BEST REVIEWER EVER, I don’t know what is. Maybe you’ll have to write a parody of something.
Now dear, I’m off to Mexico to play poker with some colorful stereotypes. There’s nothing like spending those book advances on expensive, spur-of-the-moment plane tickets!
<3
Tess "Etiquette for the End of the World" Eliot
Totally Awesome Relatable Character.
Super Not Racist/Homophobic. Pinkie Swear.
Original Review: What the fuck did I just read?
After a couple of days:
Dear Tess Knows Best Eliot,
I’m going through a really difficult time right now. I have to write a review of Etiquette for the End of the World, but even though it was really boring, offensive, and schizophrenic, I can’t come up with anything to say! How do you even start reviewing a book that calls itself a romantic comedy, but is more All About Steve than Annie Hall? The romantic “twist” is so badly telegraphed it hardly counts, and is offensive as hell to boot! Plus, halfway through, the author completely forgot she was writing a romantic comedy and turned it into a conspiracy thriller/supernatural/travel fiction! No, I don’t know how it’s all supposed to work, either. As a famous columnist, and one time chapter header writer on an etiquette guide, can you get me out of this?
Sincerely,
Bored of Everlasting Stupid Tropes, Reading Even Very Irritatingly Exasperating Works for Enthusiastic Review, Even Veritably Enraging Romances
Dear BEST REVIEWER EVER,
When my boyfriend Matt dumped me for my feng-shui expert neighbor, I didn’t sit at home and moan. I went to the bar and ordered laundry-themed drinks from my hot, gay BFF. And when I lost my job writing this column, (sorry this won’t get published in some big-shot NYC newspaper, by the way,) I didn’t wallow in self pity. I went to the bar and ordered laundry-themed drinks from my hot, gay BFF! BEST REVIEWER EVER, what I’m saying is you need to get out of your slump. Fly to Mexico or London or the beach, even if you’re flat broke like yours truly. The change of scenery, and all the gin, will do you good.
If that still doesn’t help BEST REVIEWER EVER, we’re going to have to get drastic. First, steal mail from your 84 year old ex-boss. Then go visit some end of the world loonies and take a massively profitable writing job, even if it will embroil you in an international cult trying to bring about the apocalypse. There, BEST REVIEWER EVER, you’ll meet a smoking hot, mysterious Hollywood exec. who will sweep you off your feet in a whirlwind romance unlike any you have ever know. It’s only a shame he’s also a pathological liar who will tell you his ex-girlfriend stabbed all of his suits, when it was really the cult members, keeping you from getting out while you still can. When he stands you up on New Years, causing you to panic and reveal the detective work you’ve been doing on the side to one of the sketchiest cult members of all, don’t drown your sorrows at the bar…oh no wait, yes do that.
BEST REVIEWER EVER, now’s the part where it gets really tricky. Remember that detective work I mentioned? Well you are going to research a new idea for the end of the world. It will lead you to a librarian who will tell you she found secret plans for a nanobot that could bring down all technology as we know it. Being afraid of these plans falling into wrong hands, she won’t destroy them. She will hide them in an obscure book about beetles. The psycho you’re working for will be obsessed with beetles. His lackey, the one cutting up suits and the one you’re going to have to reveal all these plans to, will steal the book for his boss, inadvertently stealing the apocalypse plans too. I know this is a lot to take in, so pause for a stiff drink.
You may need to take time out for a side plot about your brother stealing your inheritance, I know mine did. This will probably result in baby rabies and a psychic salad-dressing obsessed aunt. You will also start having prophetic dreams about Mexico and earthquakes, just like one of the nutters at the cult. This is totally normal and not mass hysteria, but a tiny bit of the supernatural. Just to spice life up.
Anyway BEST REVIEWER EVER, don’t bother going to the police, because they think you’re nuts. Gather up Gay BFF and fly to London to meet with the cult leader in person. He’ll turn out to be even more mad scientist-y than feared, but you’ll be able to talk your way out of him killing you. You may even get gifts! Make sure to steal a vial of his nanobot solution, because you’re going to need that to prove you haven’t had too many Spin Cycles. On the way home, you’ll meet that same librarian, who’s now a stewardess, and she’ll be able to smuggle the vial through customs for you. This will leave you free to confess to Gay BFF that you’re in love with him. He’ll confess that he’s not really gay; his “boyfriend” is actually his son! (This is a very advanced maneuver, BEST REVIEWER EVER, don’t try this unless you’re sure you’re in a terrible book.) You may now advance to your HEA.
In the end, the Hollywood Exec. will show back up for you to realize he was just a rebound. The government will totally let you go incite hysteria while they quietly deal with the wacko cult leader, whose serum didn’t even work anyway. You’ll settle down to being the stepmother of not-Gay BFF’s kid, while you both make hilarious gay jokes about how could you ever think he was a queen, giiiiirlfriend? And then you’ll get a book deal out of the whole thing! If that’s not enough to break through writer’s block, BEST REVIEWER EVER, I don’t know what is. Maybe you’ll have to write a parody of something.
Now dear, I’m off to Mexico to play poker with some colorful stereotypes. There’s nothing like spending those book advances on expensive, spur-of-the-moment plane tickets!
<3
Tess "Etiquette for the End of the World" Eliot
Totally Awesome Relatable Character.
Super Not Racist/Homophobic. Pinkie Swear.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 11, 2012
Quick....before the world ends: READ THIS BOOK!! Witty, wise, and winning, Etiquette for the End of the World is a two-for-one. You not only get a sci fi story about the end of the world that's just around the corner (12-21-12, according to the Mayan calendar), but a guide to etiquette for life as we never thought we'd know it! I was immediately hooked by the voice of Tess, an out-of-work social advice columnist for a local newspaper on Manhattan's Upper West Side ("Tess Knows Best!") who gets herself a job writing a guide for how to live in this post-apocalyptic landscape. Tess falls down the rabbit hole as she tries to solve the mystery surrounding a group that's planning for the end of the world (etiquette included), and much madness ensues. But just when you think the story is spinning into the twilight zone, Tess turns out to be your average neurotic New Yorker with a warmth that makes you love her and root for her. The plot twists and Tess' wry take on life made it a great read, and the etiquette guide will come in handy after Dec. 21. I hope the Mayans were wrong so I can read Jeanne Martinet's next novel!(less)
September 6, 2012
Etiquette for the End of the World is a funny, charming and knowing look at post-2012 romance, a novel whose heroine is the funny, charming and knowing feelance writer, Tess. Assigned the dreaded task of authoring a post-Amy Vanderbilt dating primer, Tess calls on her own experience in advising readers.“You are going to have to lower your standards somewhat,” she notes drily; today's women "can no longer rule out thieves and murderers from the dating pool.” Don’t be too picky about a potential new lover, in other words, but “Do check out his teeth.” --Dalma Heyn, author of "MARRIAGE SHOCK: The Transformation of Women into Wives
August 12, 2012
Tess is completely down on her luck, so of course she jumps at the first paying gig she comes across: writing a post- apocalyptic self-help book for a group of doomsday crazies. This of course leads to hilarity and (slightly amusing) adventure. This would have been a solid three stars, but the final glimpse from Tess's handbook - "12 Rules to Live and Die By:- was hilarious and lent itself to a solid 3 1/2. Darn you, Goodreads, and your no 1/2 stars policy!
December 4, 2014
With a Mayan prophecy predicting the demise of the world, SOMEONE needs to write an end times book of etiquette so there isn’t panic and bad behavior when civilization collapses, and Tess is determined that the someone will be her. Not that she actually believes the doomsday prophecy, but her wealthy potential employer is almost looking forward its fulfillment, and since Tess’s own life is already pretty much of a disaster she needs the job. Plus she’ll be conferring with a movie star handsome co-worker so it’s all good. Good, that is, until the end-of-life-as-Tess-knows-it prediction starts seeming all too plausible. Heartwarming hilarity ensues. This entertaining romantic thriller is packed with quirky characters and fun galore.
I bought this as an inexpensive Kindle book, and then was able to purchase an even less expensive Audible version which kept me smiling during my commute.
I bought this as an inexpensive Kindle book, and then was able to purchase an even less expensive Audible version which kept me smiling during my commute.
September 6, 2012
A delicious combination of angst, romance, soul-searching and screwball comedy. I wanted to spend more time with these characters!
August 19, 2012
Such a pleasure to find fiction that is captivating AND funny! Hope there will be a sequel!
September 5, 2012
I am finally finished. FINALLY!! I thought that this book would never end. I had to put it down multiple times just so I would have enough patience to make it through one more chapter. I must say that I am proud of myself for making it all the way through and not giving up like I so so wanted to do.
This is how I felt while reading this
and this
and when I wasn't passing out while reading, this is what I wanted to do
and this
Yep, that pretty much sums that up.
This ARC was provided by Liza Dawson Associates via NetGalley
This is how I felt while reading this
and this
and when I wasn't passing out while reading, this is what I wanted to do
and this
Yep, that pretty much sums that up.
This ARC was provided by Liza Dawson Associates via NetGalley
September 2, 2012
Enjoyable read. Fun mixture of romantic comedy, post-apocalyptic fiction and mystery.
March 23, 2013
I am not normally attracted to this type of fiction but I loved it. I could not help be laugh at the humor in it. I just might have to get a copy of the, " twelve rules to live and die by" for my desk. ;)
Read
May 29, 2020DNF at 30%
The story meanders. I’m not even sure what genre it is. Is it a mystery? A chic-lit? A romance? A romantic thriller? As I’ve already read 30% of the book, and it’s still not clear, I’m abandoning it.
The story meanders. I’m not even sure what genre it is. Is it a mystery? A chic-lit? A romance? A romantic thriller? As I’ve already read 30% of the book, and it’s still not clear, I’m abandoning it.
September 3, 2012
When I spotted Etiquette for the End of the World on NetGalley, I was immediately entranced by its old-fashioned cover. It shows a somewhat regal-looking lady against an NYC backdrop and the tag line claims it to be Bridget Jones for the new Millenium (oh God, no, that’s an insult to this novel, to be fair, as I really didn’t like Bridget Jones). With 2012 being a pretty serious year – if you’re a believer that the world will indeed end in December (I do not believe it in the slightest, and think it’s all utterly ridiculous) I was intrigued to read a novel that was going to give us a humourous look into the world ending. (Whether I believe it or not, I love humorous takes on things that are already stupid and ridiculous.)
I will admit that parts of the novel is a bit fantastical – sometimes it rather does slip into a sci-fi/mystery novel rather than what it is, which is Chick Lit. If, like me, you’re not a believer in the world ending in December, you will find all the Maya(n) explanations to be boring and due to their frequency in the novel, I did find myself tiring of them easily. I also thought the “secret plot” Tess uncovers to be mildly farfetched, and to be a pretty similar thing to Y2K. It didn’t make me switch off, but it did make me wonder where on Earth the novel was going. How does a Chick Lit novel make itself into a sci-fi novel? I didn’t really get it, it’s not necessarily two genres that mesh well, really.
What Etiquette for the End of the World did offer, was a humourous look at the world ending. I was easily sucked into Tess Eliot’s life as her own world falls apart and she finds herself writing a self-apocalyptic help guide. Tess is a fabulous character and the way in which she goes through life is brilliant. I loved the cosy atmosphere of her local pub the Scrub-a-dub-pub, I loved her friends, particularly Harriet who is like a mother-figure. Sure, I personally don’t believe in the world ending any time soon, but I believed what the characters believed and though I did find it a bit over the top, I appreciate that there probably ARE people who believe the world will end and there probably IS an organisation like WHOOSH who believe they’re doing the right thing trying to prepare people for the world ending, and as such Tess’s writing of the guide was humorous. It was quite nice to see that she herself felt a bit weird and strange writing this guide and working for these people when she, too, wasn’t entirely sure if they were true believers or just quacks.
Etiquette for the End of the World is very well written and Jeanne Martinet has reasearched the Maya(n)s thoroughly. One thing I will say is that the novel is quite wordy and that dialogue is sparse at best. I’d have liked more diagloue and less of paragraphs and pararaphs of words. It did seem that whenever dialogue did appear, it wasn’t that it was out of place or unexpected, but it truly was strange because I was so used to just reading pararaphs without breaks, of reading pages and pages with no chatter. It does mean that the book does lag a tiny bit – any book that is so narrative heavy is always going to suffer if someone tries to read the book for a long period of time as you do start to wonder why there is no interaction or so little interaction between the characters. However, the novel was a solid read, and I would recommend the book because it is one of the quirkiest books I’ve ever read. I’m so glad the cover is so beautiful and it managed to convice me to request it, and I’m so glad I started to read it, because I did enjoy it and Tess Eliot really did make the novel for me, she’s definitely a heroine to root for.
I will admit that parts of the novel is a bit fantastical – sometimes it rather does slip into a sci-fi/mystery novel rather than what it is, which is Chick Lit. If, like me, you’re not a believer in the world ending in December, you will find all the Maya(n) explanations to be boring and due to their frequency in the novel, I did find myself tiring of them easily. I also thought the “secret plot” Tess uncovers to be mildly farfetched, and to be a pretty similar thing to Y2K. It didn’t make me switch off, but it did make me wonder where on Earth the novel was going. How does a Chick Lit novel make itself into a sci-fi novel? I didn’t really get it, it’s not necessarily two genres that mesh well, really.
What Etiquette for the End of the World did offer, was a humourous look at the world ending. I was easily sucked into Tess Eliot’s life as her own world falls apart and she finds herself writing a self-apocalyptic help guide. Tess is a fabulous character and the way in which she goes through life is brilliant. I loved the cosy atmosphere of her local pub the Scrub-a-dub-pub, I loved her friends, particularly Harriet who is like a mother-figure. Sure, I personally don’t believe in the world ending any time soon, but I believed what the characters believed and though I did find it a bit over the top, I appreciate that there probably ARE people who believe the world will end and there probably IS an organisation like WHOOSH who believe they’re doing the right thing trying to prepare people for the world ending, and as such Tess’s writing of the guide was humorous. It was quite nice to see that she herself felt a bit weird and strange writing this guide and working for these people when she, too, wasn’t entirely sure if they were true believers or just quacks.
Etiquette for the End of the World is very well written and Jeanne Martinet has reasearched the Maya(n)s thoroughly. One thing I will say is that the novel is quite wordy and that dialogue is sparse at best. I’d have liked more diagloue and less of paragraphs and pararaphs of words. It did seem that whenever dialogue did appear, it wasn’t that it was out of place or unexpected, but it truly was strange because I was so used to just reading pararaphs without breaks, of reading pages and pages with no chatter. It does mean that the book does lag a tiny bit – any book that is so narrative heavy is always going to suffer if someone tries to read the book for a long period of time as you do start to wonder why there is no interaction or so little interaction between the characters. However, the novel was a solid read, and I would recommend the book because it is one of the quirkiest books I’ve ever read. I’m so glad the cover is so beautiful and it managed to convice me to request it, and I’m so glad I started to read it, because I did enjoy it and Tess Eliot really did make the novel for me, she’s definitely a heroine to root for.
September 8, 2012
39-year-old Tess Eliot has been dumped by her boyfriend after 4 years, lost her newspaper column ‘Tess Knows Best’ and is in a family feud with her brother. Desperate for a job she takes on a project to write an etiquette guide preparing readers for the doomsday of December 21, 2012.
We get to read bits and pieces of the etiquette guide while Tess is writing it. The etiquette guide is absolutely hilarious! The novel, while being humorous, is not as great as the etiquette guide itself. It’s a light-hearted, funny read and I must admit I was curious about what would happen on December 21, 2012 and if the etiquette guide for the End of the World was necessary.
Note: I received a free copy via NetGalley
We get to read bits and pieces of the etiquette guide while Tess is writing it. The etiquette guide is absolutely hilarious! The novel, while being humorous, is not as great as the etiquette guide itself. It’s a light-hearted, funny read and I must admit I was curious about what would happen on December 21, 2012 and if the etiquette guide for the End of the World was necessary.
Note: I received a free copy via NetGalley
May 2, 2013
This was a really fun read. The black humor of how one might want to behave in the aftermath of the Mayan Calendar predictions was tied together with a sweet, somewhat unexpected romance and compelling suspense. I look forward to finding other books by this author.
April 26, 2013
This book is actually a 4.5/5 in my eyes-it got a little bogged-down in a spot or two, but was great fun and I will probably read it again someday. Very enjoyable!
October 18, 2012
Read it @ Gone Pecan
Tess Eliot has just been fired from her job writing a newspaper column and is down on her luck. The only job she can find is working for a fringe Doomsday “cult” that wants her to write a book about how transition to a world where it’s important to learn how to navigate without our modern day amenities and think more about personal survival and where our next meal is coming from. Desperate, she takes the job even though she thinks the group is made up of harmless nutjobs. She even starts to see the handsome fundraiser for the group, despite her intuition that something about him is off, including his request that she help him with his fundraising efforts by researching possible end of days causes and overinflating their significance and probability. While doing so, she stumbles upon someone with information about a manmade disaster that could really happen if it were to fall into the wrong hands.
This book was kind of slow to start, it took me several days to commit to reading, but once I got into it, it really flowed and I didn’t want to put it down to go to bed. I think my main issue was with the cynicism of Tess. I mean, sure, the End of Days Mayan prophesy is a bit farfetched, but her attitude kind of irritated me. When she started to write the book, she became more open minded. Not that I think it’s a possability, but her initial meeting with the group, she went in thinking “these people are completely delusional” and I wish she would have had a different mindset.
There were several side plots of the book that really fleshed out the story. I don’t know why, but whenever a book is less than 300 pages, I expect it to be pretty straightforward without many ancillary stories, but the other plots really explained a lot about Tess and made her more real. I particularly liked Harriet, Tess’s mentor and former boss. She was a riot.
In the end, it was funny, especially Tess’s advise in her book. There were a lot of unbelievable parts, like the plot she stumbles upon, but I was willing to overlook that, especially considering how it all played out in the end.
Pecans: 3.5/5
Tess Eliot has just been fired from her job writing a newspaper column and is down on her luck. The only job she can find is working for a fringe Doomsday “cult” that wants her to write a book about how transition to a world where it’s important to learn how to navigate without our modern day amenities and think more about personal survival and where our next meal is coming from. Desperate, she takes the job even though she thinks the group is made up of harmless nutjobs. She even starts to see the handsome fundraiser for the group, despite her intuition that something about him is off, including his request that she help him with his fundraising efforts by researching possible end of days causes and overinflating their significance and probability. While doing so, she stumbles upon someone with information about a manmade disaster that could really happen if it were to fall into the wrong hands.
This book was kind of slow to start, it took me several days to commit to reading, but once I got into it, it really flowed and I didn’t want to put it down to go to bed. I think my main issue was with the cynicism of Tess. I mean, sure, the End of Days Mayan prophesy is a bit farfetched, but her attitude kind of irritated me. When she started to write the book, she became more open minded. Not that I think it’s a possability, but her initial meeting with the group, she went in thinking “these people are completely delusional” and I wish she would have had a different mindset.
There were several side plots of the book that really fleshed out the story. I don’t know why, but whenever a book is less than 300 pages, I expect it to be pretty straightforward without many ancillary stories, but the other plots really explained a lot about Tess and made her more real. I particularly liked Harriet, Tess’s mentor and former boss. She was a riot.
In the end, it was funny, especially Tess’s advise in her book. There were a lot of unbelievable parts, like the plot she stumbles upon, but I was willing to overlook that, especially considering how it all played out in the end.
Pecans: 3.5/5
January 20, 2013
This book is a case of cover love for me. That is, I loved the cover so much that it enticed me to read this book (the book summary didn't hurt either). Look at it! If the end of the world is happening why not put on a fancy dress and pearls? I totally would do that!
Tess Elliot has had a run of bad luck -- from losing her job to losing her boyfriend. Because she doesn't have anything left to lose, including money, she takes on a job writing a 'survival manual' for the end of the world from a doomsday cult of sorts. Tess is skeptical about the group, but her skepticism turns into paranoia when she uncovers a plot for the destruction of life as we know it.
If Tess's book Etiquette for the End of the World were actually a book, I would read it. Throughout this book are excerpts from the 'guide', and it was hilarious! I had some laugh out loud moments throughout this book. Martinet does a great job with mixing humor and mystery in Etiquette For The End Of The World. I especially liked the main character, Tess Eliot. At the beginning of the book she doubts herself and her abilities. Her character changes throughout the book due to the events that surround her. She grows more confident, and self assured. While this book definitely had some great moments, I wasn't overly wowed by the plot. It was good, just not great.Even though the book was a little predictable, I still enjoyed reading it.
Overall, this is a fun book to read. I would recommend it to anyone who likes quirky, but an enjoyable book.
Read more at http://www.2readornot2read.com/2013/0...
Tess Elliot has had a run of bad luck -- from losing her job to losing her boyfriend. Because she doesn't have anything left to lose, including money, she takes on a job writing a 'survival manual' for the end of the world from a doomsday cult of sorts. Tess is skeptical about the group, but her skepticism turns into paranoia when she uncovers a plot for the destruction of life as we know it.
If Tess's book Etiquette for the End of the World were actually a book, I would read it. Throughout this book are excerpts from the 'guide', and it was hilarious! I had some laugh out loud moments throughout this book. Martinet does a great job with mixing humor and mystery in Etiquette For The End Of The World. I especially liked the main character, Tess Eliot. At the beginning of the book she doubts herself and her abilities. Her character changes throughout the book due to the events that surround her. She grows more confident, and self assured. While this book definitely had some great moments, I wasn't overly wowed by the plot. It was good, just not great.Even though the book was a little predictable, I still enjoyed reading it.
Overall, this is a fun book to read. I would recommend it to anyone who likes quirky, but an enjoyable book.
Read more at http://www.2readornot2read.com/2013/0...
May 8, 2013
Sometimes you need a nice, short chick-lit to brighten your day. Something funny and easy to read. I thought that was just what I got, when I decided to read Etiquette for the End of the World. I was wrong!
It has the classic chick-lit-start: Woman has been left by boyfriend, lost her job and is desperate for something to happen. Granted, Tess is a bit older than my usual chick-lit-reads protagonists, but actually it never really shows. She could just as well have been 25. She comes across a great opportunity for her to make some money and off we go.
So much in this story seems either irrelevant or coincidental. She just happens to meet a librarian who knows secret stuff and who has a friend who knows more stuff. Jeez, I don’t get why they are a part of the story? She could have come across this secret without introducing more characters that I didn’t care for! Tess ends up in a lot of unrealistic situations which resolves themselves very easily. Overall the conspiracy theory part was too much and I didn’t care for it. At times the story (well, Tess anyways) was condescending and rude, which, obviously, is never a good thing.
But the story had some good qualities after all. It was somewhat funny. I like the parts about the book - it was funny in a cute way and I would actually have loved to buy that book. Etiquette for the End of the World gets 2 stars for being weirder than I ever thought possible for a chick-lit - but really, read something else. There are plenty of great and funny stories out there!
It has the classic chick-lit-start: Woman has been left by boyfriend, lost her job and is desperate for something to happen. Granted, Tess is a bit older than my usual chick-lit-reads protagonists, but actually it never really shows. She could just as well have been 25. She comes across a great opportunity for her to make some money and off we go.
So much in this story seems either irrelevant or coincidental. She just happens to meet a librarian who knows secret stuff and who has a friend who knows more stuff. Jeez, I don’t get why they are a part of the story? She could have come across this secret without introducing more characters that I didn’t care for! Tess ends up in a lot of unrealistic situations which resolves themselves very easily. Overall the conspiracy theory part was too much and I didn’t care for it. At times the story (well, Tess anyways) was condescending and rude, which, obviously, is never a good thing.
But the story had some good qualities after all. It was somewhat funny. I like the parts about the book - it was funny in a cute way and I would actually have loved to buy that book. Etiquette for the End of the World gets 2 stars for being weirder than I ever thought possible for a chick-lit - but really, read something else. There are plenty of great and funny stories out there!
September 18, 2012
This witty, wacky novel struck me as a clever update of the wonderful screwball romantic comedies of the 1930s. Upper West Sider Tess Eliott is the smart, sparkling, but at-sea heroine, a newly unemployed newspaper columnist who lands a peculiar freelance assignment: write an etiquette book for WOOSH, a shadowy organization obsessed with the Mayan-predicted “end of the world,” due to hit in December 2012. Enter debonair Peter Barrett, WOOSH’s too handsome, too perfect, too charming fundraiser who sweeps Tess off her feet and into the depths of a possible conspiracy involving the NSA, deadly computer viruses and ancient cults that may indeed point to humanity’s demise. In travels that take her to Mexican jungle ruins and the placid English countryside, Tess bravely steps up to solve the mysteries behind WOOSH and along the way seeks to repair her career, her family relationships and most importantly, her floundering love life. Could it be that her perfect mate has been hiding in plain sight all along? Martinet keeps the reader guessing -- and laughing –throughout Tess’s comic adventures. Featuring a cast of memorably eccentric supporting characters and filled with innumerable humorous insights into contemporary mores, Martinet’s novel is intelligent entertainment.
September 23, 2012
"Etiquette" is a hilarious screwball comedy that takes place with the threat of possible world destruction tingeing all behavior, both wacky and otherwise. It's a great page-turner with the added bonus of smart, witty and true advice for post-apocalyptic times, which works just as well for our own version of everyday doomsday. Tess and Harriet are characters so true you think you know them but I wish there was more of a stage for a few of the "lesser" personalities who are equally quirky and interesting. Perhaps a sequel taking place after all the 2012 dust has settled...
March 5, 2014
Do judge a book by its cover -- because this one lives up to the promise of its brilliantly clever title.
I read this in one sitting, and literally laughed out loud at regular intervals. It is that rare combination of humor, romance and mystery. I found the main character very credible, and Martinet sends up the New York publishing scene like a real pro..
Let's hope the world doesn't end too soon -- so that we can look forward to more from this talented writer.
I read this in one sitting, and literally laughed out loud at regular intervals. It is that rare combination of humor, romance and mystery. I found the main character very credible, and Martinet sends up the New York publishing scene like a real pro..
Let's hope the world doesn't end too soon -- so that we can look forward to more from this talented writer.
September 12, 2012
ETIQUETTE FOR THE END OF THE WORLD has all the pleasures of chick-lit, but deeper ones too, a great deal of fascinating lore about myths and mysteries that alternately comfort us or scare us to death. I'd say this book is a happy meeting between Noel Coward and Nora Ephron, sophisticated richly humorous, and oddly enough, full of excellent advice for the little apocalypses we encounter every day.
March 15, 2013
A nice fun, light read. It's been a while since I've read chick-lit so it was a refreshing change. The snippets of the etiguette guide that she was commissioned to write are hilarious. I'd read the book if it were ever written ;)
April 17, 2013
This book was so much fun! It was funny and smart. The characters were engaging and the story was an interesting one. It was fairly original and I really liked the execution of it. This was a quick, light read that I'd recommend to anyone who wants some fun, humorous chick lit.
September 16, 2012
I liked this light hearted story about the end of the world according to the Mayan calendar. Love, spy's, whoosh
April 27, 2013
Loved this book! Silly cute story. Kind of predictable but I still really enjoyed it.
April 24, 2022
Tess Eliot has just lost her job, ended her multi-year relationship with her boyfriend when he tells her that he has been cheating on her, and she's estranged from her brother over an inheritance that he got and she didn't, and she really needs to make some money. Through a weird series of events, she gets hired to write a book on etiquette for the end of the world, which is needed just in time for 12/21/12, when certain groups of people are expecting the end of the world as we know it as prophesied (they think) by the Mayan calendar (it's a whole thing). She sets out to learn as much as she can about the supposed apocalypse, and starts to get pulled into the conspiracy theories against her will. She doesn't forget to write her book, though, with as much humor and good advice as she can think up.
I thought this was a really fun book. There was more of a mystery than I was expecting, which was a bonus. My favorite parts of the book, though, were definitely the chapters in her end of the world etiquette book. They were filled with humor, most of it tongue in cheek, and I found myself looking forward to reading more of them as the book went on. The characters were enjoyable (other than the ones you weren't supposed to like), and I like how the book progressed from start to finish.
In summary, this was a fun, light, quick read, and I enjoyed it very much.
4/5 stars..
I thought this was a really fun book. There was more of a mystery than I was expecting, which was a bonus. My favorite parts of the book, though, were definitely the chapters in her end of the world etiquette book. They were filled with humor, most of it tongue in cheek, and I found myself looking forward to reading more of them as the book went on. The characters were enjoyable (other than the ones you weren't supposed to like), and I like how the book progressed from start to finish.
In summary, this was a fun, light, quick read, and I enjoyed it very much.
4/5 stars..
April 17, 2013
You know that person that starts telling you some story and it goes a little something like this?
"So I have to tell you this story! I was on the train and this thing happened! And...well, before I got on the train, my best friend Mary (you remember her, right?) helped me do this thing at home. So anyway, on the train, I thought of Mary and then I saw this thing and then...well, on the train, I forgot to mention that I also met my ex-partner Joe (you remember him too right?), and so Joe and I did this thing, but then we missed our station, which is the station that I always use but on this particular day I wanted to use another because it was important, especially since I was going to meet this person, which reminds me, the reason I was on the train at all was because I was going to a job interview that my friend Jessica (you know her too, right? Big influence in my life) told me about this morning, which I guess I should have mentioned (Because you know how I'm also unemployed, right?). Anyway, it turns out the crush of my life is available, and everyone lived happily ever after."
Now imagine that going on for about 300 pages. That's kind of what it felt like to read this book.
The premise was promising, and I was really looking forward to reading this book. Some of the etiquette tips referenced in the title are quite funny. I would have LOVED to have seen more of those, perhaps better integrated into the novel.
But that's the thing. This book seemed to always start several days or weeks into an event, but then goes back and fills in the details with quick descriptions of events, or ad-hoc characters dropped in specifically to ease the transition from then to now. As a result, a LOT of the characters, including the main character's best friend Ginny and her brother Stuart, seem ludicrously one-dimensional and pointless because they serve no purpose other than to bridge some time gap.
The main character, a down-on-her-luck woman named Tess, was okay, but seemed to conform to the "downtrodden middle-aged woman who can't catch a break" stereotype that made novels like "Perfect on Paper" and "Spying in High Heels" eventually frustrating to read for me. In this case, Tess' constant "woe is me I'm poor but I'm still going to spend tons of money remodeling my place" kind of suffering seems unconvincing at best. If you're going to have a heroine struggle financially, dear gods, let her struggle! Tess' so-called money woes--a catalyst for her taking her oddball writing assignment--seem utterly superficial and quickly resolved.
What really bugged me is that the novel sets up some pretty big, ambitious questions. Who is Peter? What is WOOSH really about? What's up with this Orbus guy? What are the tiny slits in Peter's outfits? What about that librarian and her friend? Like any good novel, the book sets up some questions that you WANT answered. And yet all of these seemingly interesting page-turners find quick, almost ridiculously understated resolution. Part of the problem is, again, the characters' lack of any real definition. A librarian just happens to exist to help Tess out. Peter is there to make her go ga-ga but serves virtually no real purpose in the book. Some crazy dude at WOOSH has personality issues...and that's all we know. And by the end, everything gets wrapped up in such a brutally understated manner, I felt like I'd just been duped into thinking the ending would offer any kind of meaningful payoff to these great questions the book posits from the get-go. For me, there was none.
Oh, and the novel's romantic resolution? Really? I don't want to spoil it, but...okay, screw it. I'm spoiling it. Stop reading now if you don't want to get spoiled.
Spoiler alert.
Seriously.
Stop reading. Spoiler coming.
Okay, you asked for it.
Seriously???!! The gay guy who, as it turns out, isn't gay? Um, sorry, that was totally unconvincing. Just another conveniently force-fed resolution, as if the author wrote herself into a corner and just went with whatever seemed marginally plausible.
Argh, I hate that I have to write such a bad review for a fellow writer, and I mean nothing personal to you, Ms. Martinet. But this novel really started off as a three-star reading for me, and then gradually devolved into the one-star mess that I'm ranting about now. I had high hopes for this book and I guess it's my disappointment that's making me write this review.
"So I have to tell you this story! I was on the train and this thing happened! And...well, before I got on the train, my best friend Mary (you remember her, right?) helped me do this thing at home. So anyway, on the train, I thought of Mary and then I saw this thing and then...well, on the train, I forgot to mention that I also met my ex-partner Joe (you remember him too right?), and so Joe and I did this thing, but then we missed our station, which is the station that I always use but on this particular day I wanted to use another because it was important, especially since I was going to meet this person, which reminds me, the reason I was on the train at all was because I was going to a job interview that my friend Jessica (you know her too, right? Big influence in my life) told me about this morning, which I guess I should have mentioned (Because you know how I'm also unemployed, right?). Anyway, it turns out the crush of my life is available, and everyone lived happily ever after."
Now imagine that going on for about 300 pages. That's kind of what it felt like to read this book.
The premise was promising, and I was really looking forward to reading this book. Some of the etiquette tips referenced in the title are quite funny. I would have LOVED to have seen more of those, perhaps better integrated into the novel.
But that's the thing. This book seemed to always start several days or weeks into an event, but then goes back and fills in the details with quick descriptions of events, or ad-hoc characters dropped in specifically to ease the transition from then to now. As a result, a LOT of the characters, including the main character's best friend Ginny and her brother Stuart, seem ludicrously one-dimensional and pointless because they serve no purpose other than to bridge some time gap.
The main character, a down-on-her-luck woman named Tess, was okay, but seemed to conform to the "downtrodden middle-aged woman who can't catch a break" stereotype that made novels like "Perfect on Paper" and "Spying in High Heels" eventually frustrating to read for me. In this case, Tess' constant "woe is me I'm poor but I'm still going to spend tons of money remodeling my place" kind of suffering seems unconvincing at best. If you're going to have a heroine struggle financially, dear gods, let her struggle! Tess' so-called money woes--a catalyst for her taking her oddball writing assignment--seem utterly superficial and quickly resolved.
What really bugged me is that the novel sets up some pretty big, ambitious questions. Who is Peter? What is WOOSH really about? What's up with this Orbus guy? What are the tiny slits in Peter's outfits? What about that librarian and her friend? Like any good novel, the book sets up some questions that you WANT answered. And yet all of these seemingly interesting page-turners find quick, almost ridiculously understated resolution. Part of the problem is, again, the characters' lack of any real definition. A librarian just happens to exist to help Tess out. Peter is there to make her go ga-ga but serves virtually no real purpose in the book. Some crazy dude at WOOSH has personality issues...and that's all we know. And by the end, everything gets wrapped up in such a brutally understated manner, I felt like I'd just been duped into thinking the ending would offer any kind of meaningful payoff to these great questions the book posits from the get-go. For me, there was none.
Oh, and the novel's romantic resolution? Really? I don't want to spoil it, but...okay, screw it. I'm spoiling it. Stop reading now if you don't want to get spoiled.
Spoiler alert.
Seriously.
Stop reading. Spoiler coming.
Okay, you asked for it.
Seriously???!! The gay guy who, as it turns out, isn't gay? Um, sorry, that was totally unconvincing. Just another conveniently force-fed resolution, as if the author wrote herself into a corner and just went with whatever seemed marginally plausible.
Argh, I hate that I have to write such a bad review for a fellow writer, and I mean nothing personal to you, Ms. Martinet. But this novel really started off as a three-star reading for me, and then gradually devolved into the one-star mess that I'm ranting about now. I had high hopes for this book and I guess it's my disappointment that's making me write this review.
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