You're Not Crazy - You're Codependent.

by Jeanette Elisabeth Menter

"Jeanette is in my head, like a loving parent, showing me how to make better choices."In this revised edition of the book that's been helping people understand and overcome codependency for over a decade, you now get the added benefit of learning how to build your best life after codependency.It's vital to understand what codependency is and how it's sabotaged your life. But that's not enough to help you become who you were always meant to be. Here you'll find simple steps that will lead you to discover who you really are and how to create the life you truly want. Stop faking it and start living!

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Relationships, Audiobook, Addiction

150 pages, ebook

First published January 18, 2012

Reviews

[Adam · Rating 2 out of 5]

She lost me at “god loves you.”

[Arthea J. Larson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think I’m just tired of reading about codependency. Unlike many authors, including this one, I don’t think codependency always has its origins in your childhood. I would have liked to read more on how you develop it as an adult and perhaps stop it at the first sign. THAT I would find useful.

[Bookworm Heath · Rating 3 out of 5]

I recently realised I had codependency all wrong.

I figured as a codependent, a person relied on others to take charge of their life situation and that they were dependent on that leadership from others to function.

THEN I read that actually, a codependent is a person who feels the need to control and provide for others whom they deem unable to look after themselves, that they wish to “save” others and then I saw myself.

I was interested to learn more so I picked this audiobook.

I have more clarity on codependent relationships now, which I am grateful for.

However, this book came off a little preachy and there’s so much about having faith in God - which to be fair the author warns about initially - but it lost me in that.

Faith is important in any healing journey, but it doesn’t have to be faith in God and in that I felt a little bored by the author’s constant chatter about having a relationship with this higher power.

All in all, a decent listen, but I didn’t relate and the tools for healing were not beneficial for me.

[Valerie · Rating 1 out of 5]

As many in the co-dependent community are also associated with spirituality in the "Higher Power" sense, this author is very religiously centered which moved me from the attitude of seeking her wisdom to just another religious author without scientific background to really help seekers.

[mallorie cook · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent!

Very informative especially for someone just beginning to become self aware. It’s broken down into sections and tells the reader just how codependency is effecting them.

[K.C. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good insight from someone who has lived with codependency.

[María · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5/5 stars
this book is really informative and I am very happy that I chose it. Because of the way that she is delivering this information, I already felt like a changed person and more self-aware. This book also challenged me to take more extra steps to heal any codependency roots.

[N A · Rating 5 out of 5]

Spot on!

This book reflects everything that my mind was telling me. Jeanette is down to earth and straight to the point.

[Alex Apostol · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was on every page

This book was the first book I read in my journey to healing and I'm so glad I bought it. I could see myself on every page as well as practical ways to change my destructive thinking and behavior. I want to thank the author for being another person to help save me from co-dependency.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Closer to 3.5. Really helpful to a point especially if you're atheist or agnostic, and even when the author delves into faith she isn't judgmental about one's lack of it. A very good supplement to Codependent No More and the works of Codependents Anonymous.

[Michele Cervantes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Im not crazy

Good information I feel a whole lot better after reading his book. I am learning to take back my life

[Jocelyn Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was an amazing read!!! I did not sleep until 1 am, which the book was 75% complete by that time! This woman answered all of my questions in a way of simplicity. Thank you

[EyeofBelladona · Rating 5 out of 5]

For years I have struggled to find my own feet and how to firmly stand with confidence. I felt as though I only had to serve and be compliant. I never knew who I really was or wanted to be.
This book helped shed some light on how this comes to be and how to gain that confidence back.
Of course, that's all up to you. When you make a change and believe it's all part of the process.

This book is worth it, and so are you.
We don't have to be part of the pain we've endured. We can end the cycle.
Be kind to yourself and know that even if you're just reading books like these, you are looking for change. That's a big step.
Bless all of you.

[Yomara Moreno · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recomend this book 100%

I believe this book is written with the heart and the authority of the author. I admire her for her courage and heart to share with all of us her story and of course her journey to recovery. Thank you so much for taking the time to make all your pains worthy helping others to cope with theirs. Thank you as well for sharing with us your faith and love for God in such a humble way. This book is really a blessing and a great source of help and inspiración. With love,

[Leah Lambart · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful for individuals and families

I bought this to help with understanding myself and my family and it did help. I didn't have substance abuse in my immediate family, but I'm the family history. The patterns of codependent behavior run deep and continue on through the generations. I'd like to be there end of it, at least for my own children. This book identifies and lentils behaviors do that you know you're not crazy, just in bad patterns. And it gives solutions that help.

[Diane D. Kahl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love This Book!

Very practical with homework to force the codependent to face the origins of their reactive, clingy, people-pleasing, shame-based codependent behavior.

Have not completed the exercises yet but will do so soon during a period of recuperation from impending surgery, when there will be few distractions. Good time to heal physical!t and mentally. Thank you for your work.

[Chelsea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great introduction into what codependency is and the affect it can have on your life and health. This guide helps you with boundaries, how to say no, and a touches briefly on delegation. It is reassuring to learn that as you develop healthier habits for yourself, that there are people who may not be there for the entirety of the journey, and you will survive that abandonment. Accepting that you no longer need validation and acceptance can be an alienating task, but a powerful one.

[Kathryn Clare · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good Primer for CODA Help

I am a therapist and although I still think Melody Beattie's CODEPENDENT NO MORE is the best book out there on this subject, this one does a great job of succinctly giving you direction on getting the help you need. I like how the book is set up & how she spells out the issues as well as examples of CODEPENDENT behaviors & stories. She does, however, need a better Editor. [Yes, I am still a perfectionistic CODA, Ha!]

[Amber Manley · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this book was very helpful personally. The writing prompts made me think about things I hadn’t thought of before that may be in connection with the codependent traits I’ve developed. It also forced me to realize ways in which I’ve made a lot of growth. Wasn’t a huge fan of the God talk, but I understand how a higher power can bring can bring solace to people and give them a sense of purpose which can be helpful in finding yourself when recovering from codependency.

[Régis Araujo]

I didn't know I had codependency - neither knew this word existed - until October 2018, so this very important book in my journey of figuring out what codependency is and how to overcome it. It makes it clear that codependency is not a one size fits all trait and helps us understand how our past molded what we are today and the bad/poor choices we've made along the way.
Most important it shows this condition is something we can somehow control - as specialists believe there is no cure. I recommend it.

[Amanda Schott · Rating 5 out of 5]

I always thought of myself as independent

Codependent to me previously had to do with drugs or alcohol since I didn't have a problem with either I never thought of myself as codependent. I liked this book cause I could relate with the author.
I recommend this book to anyone that's had had abuse, trauma or addiction in their lives.

[Mercer Smith · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book could actively harm people reading it. Read any other book on codependency and it will be more helpful. Especially for people just starting their learning journey, this book may cause more guilty, agony or self-doubt than needed. Especially at the start of a somewhat-deep, vulnerable, self-learning period.

[Edmcdaniel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book because of the practical tips and guidance. However I just felt it was a little overly simplified, a little sloppy with the grammar and editing and I just didn’t resonate with the overall tone. My Counsellor wanted me to find and understand co-dependency and boundaries. I will be looking for another book to help me on my journey.

[Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well written, spot on with so much but I wish to could talk to the author, I don't feel like I am an enabler, I feel like by buying the smokes, picking up from the pub, doing all those things it is because it is expected and keeps the peace not because I was ever ashamed of his behaviour which I was constantly!!

[Imelda Nakamura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone needs to read this book!

What can I say but Hallelujah!!!! Finally a book that touched my weary soul! I have been waiting for this book my whole life! It's thought provoking but also practical. I can't just be in a survival mode, I need to thrive, I need to have peace, I need to have joy in my life.

[Anjuna Harper · Rating 5 out of 5]

hahaha, when you're listening to a book and you're thinking "yes that relates, oh, that too"
an important book for growing into a more mature and healthy adult if you grew up in a destructive environment!

[lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent

The title is what made me choose the book and the writer has a way of wording things that help you know exactly what you might be struggling to understand! I'm sure I'll re-read this book multiple time to gather information I missed the first time!

[faith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really enjoyed

This book was helpful. I read others but the way she wrote it was as if we were having coffee. A friend with no judgment. I would say read this book if you need more knowledge in this personal level.

[Melinda Monier · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very thorough and we'll written.

This book made understanding codependency
easy to understand and exp!aimed how to work through and become whole again. I would recommend this to anyone struggling to be free from a codependent life.

[Rudo Williams · Rating 4 out of 5]

Road to recovery

Great read. I will be using the coping skills that were shared in this book. I’m headed in the right direction and am thankful for the validation I received from reading this book.