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Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure, and Other Everyday Hurts
Heal small emotional injuries before they become big ones.
We all sustain emotional wounds. Failure, guilt, rejection, and loss are as much a part of life as the occasional scraped elbow. But while we typically bandage a cut or ice a sprained ankle, our first aid kit for emotional injuries is not just understocked—it’s nonexistent.
Fortunately, there is such a thing as mental first aid for battered emotions. Drawing on the latest scientific research and using real-life examples, practicing psychologist Guy Winch, Ph.D. offers specific step-by-step treatments that are fast, simple, and effective. Prescriptive and unique, Emotional First Aid is essential reading for anyone looking to become more resilient, build self-esteem, and let go of the hurts and hang-ups that are holding them back.
We all sustain emotional wounds. Failure, guilt, rejection, and loss are as much a part of life as the occasional scraped elbow. But while we typically bandage a cut or ice a sprained ankle, our first aid kit for emotional injuries is not just understocked—it’s nonexistent.
Fortunately, there is such a thing as mental first aid for battered emotions. Drawing on the latest scientific research and using real-life examples, practicing psychologist Guy Winch, Ph.D. offers specific step-by-step treatments that are fast, simple, and effective. Prescriptive and unique, Emotional First Aid is essential reading for anyone looking to become more resilient, build self-esteem, and let go of the hurts and hang-ups that are holding them back.
304 pages, Paperback
First published July 20, 2013
1450 people are currently reading
12488 people want to read
About the author
Guy Winch
5 books381 followersGuy Winch is a licensed psychologist, speaker, and author whose books have been translated into fourteen languages. He received a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from New York University in 1991 and he has a private practice in Manhattan. He writes The Squeaky Wheel blog for PsychologyToday.com and he also blogs for Huffington Post. On the occasional dark and moonlit night, you might find him performing stand-up comedy in New York City.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 360 reviews
April 20, 2014
**First aid for the psyche**
As a therapist, I’m constantly looking out for helpful resources for clients. This book has quickly been added to my list. It so clearly explores the seven most common—and inevitable, if you’re human!—psychological injuries and then provides specific “first aid” treatments for each:
1. Rejection—The emotional cuts and scrapes of daily life
Description:
Rejections can inflict four distinct emotional wounds, each of which might require some from of emotional first aid: lingering visceral pain, anger and aggressive urges, harm to self-esteem, and damage to feeling that we belong. (p. 17)
Treatments:
• Argue with self-criticism
• Revive your self-worth
• Replenish feelings of social connection
• Desensitize yourself
2. Loneliness—Relationship muscle weakens
Description:
Loneliness makes us constantly on guard, prepared for the disappointment and rejection we are sure will come. As a result, we miss opportunities to make social connections and behave in ways that push others away. (p. 53)
Treatments:
• Remove your negatively tinted glasses
• Identify your self-defeating behaviors
• Take on the other person’s perspective
• Deepen your emotional bonds
• Create opportunities for social connection
• Adopt a best friend
3. Loss and Trauma—Walking on broken bones
Description:
Loss and trauma create four psychological wounds. They cause overwhelming emotional pain, they undermine our basic sense of identity and the roles we play in life, they destabilize our belief systems and our understanding of the world, and they challenge our ability to remain present and engaged in our most important relationships. (p. 85)
Treatments:
• Soothe your emotional pain your way
• Recover lost aspects of your self
• Find meaning in tragedy
4. Guilt—The poison in our system
Description:
Guilt usually serves an important function by alerting us to when we might have harmed another person or when any actions we’re considering might do so. However, if our offense is serious or if we’ve already made significant efforts to apologize to a person we harmed or atone for our actions in other ways and our guilt remains excessive, or if we suffer from substantial survivor guilt, or separation and disloyalty guilt, emotional first aid is indeed necessary. (p. 119)
Treatments:
• Learn the recipe for an effective apology
• Forgive yourself
• Reengage in life
5. Rumination—Picking at emotional scabs
Description:
In order to break the self-reinforcing nature of ruminative thoughts and allow our wounds to heal, we must interrupt the cycle of rumination once it gets triggered, and we should weaken the urge to ruminate at the source by diminishing the intensity of the feelings that fuel it. We must also make efforts to monitor our relationships and to ease the emotional burden we might be placing on loved ones. (p. 154)
Treatments:
• Change your perspective
• Reframe the anger
• Go easy on your friends
6. Failure—Emotional chest colds become psychological pneumonias
Description:
When we fail repeatedly or when we respond to failures in ways that set back our confidence, our self-esteem, and our chances of future success, we run the risk of allowing our emotional chest cold to turn into psychological pneumonia. Because much of the anxiety associated with failures can build upon itself, it is best to be prudent and apply psychological first aid treatment as soon as possible after meaningful or bothersome failures occur. (p. 189)
Treatments:
• Get support and get real
• Focus on factors in your control
• Take responsibility and own the fear
• Distract yourself from performance pressure distractions
7. Low Self-Esteem—Weak emotional immune systems
Description:
Having low self-esteem weakens our emotional immune systems and inflicts three kinds of psychological wounds: it makes us more vulnerable to psychological injuries, it makes us dismissive of positive feedback and resistant to emotional nutrients, and it makes us feel unassertive and disempowered. (p. 232)
Treatments:
• Adopt self-compassion and silence the critical voices in your head
• Identify your strengths and affirm them
• Increase your tolerance for compliments
• Increase your personal empowerment
• Improve your self-control
Think of this book as first aid for the psyche. And, use as needed until symptoms subside.
As a therapist, I’m constantly looking out for helpful resources for clients. This book has quickly been added to my list. It so clearly explores the seven most common—and inevitable, if you’re human!—psychological injuries and then provides specific “first aid” treatments for each:
1. Rejection—The emotional cuts and scrapes of daily life
Description:
Rejections can inflict four distinct emotional wounds, each of which might require some from of emotional first aid: lingering visceral pain, anger and aggressive urges, harm to self-esteem, and damage to feeling that we belong. (p. 17)
Treatments:
• Argue with self-criticism
• Revive your self-worth
• Replenish feelings of social connection
• Desensitize yourself
2. Loneliness—Relationship muscle weakens
Description:
Loneliness makes us constantly on guard, prepared for the disappointment and rejection we are sure will come. As a result, we miss opportunities to make social connections and behave in ways that push others away. (p. 53)
Treatments:
• Remove your negatively tinted glasses
• Identify your self-defeating behaviors
• Take on the other person’s perspective
• Deepen your emotional bonds
• Create opportunities for social connection
• Adopt a best friend
3. Loss and Trauma—Walking on broken bones
Description:
Loss and trauma create four psychological wounds. They cause overwhelming emotional pain, they undermine our basic sense of identity and the roles we play in life, they destabilize our belief systems and our understanding of the world, and they challenge our ability to remain present and engaged in our most important relationships. (p. 85)
Treatments:
• Soothe your emotional pain your way
• Recover lost aspects of your self
• Find meaning in tragedy
4. Guilt—The poison in our system
Description:
Guilt usually serves an important function by alerting us to when we might have harmed another person or when any actions we’re considering might do so. However, if our offense is serious or if we’ve already made significant efforts to apologize to a person we harmed or atone for our actions in other ways and our guilt remains excessive, or if we suffer from substantial survivor guilt, or separation and disloyalty guilt, emotional first aid is indeed necessary. (p. 119)
Treatments:
• Learn the recipe for an effective apology
• Forgive yourself
• Reengage in life
5. Rumination—Picking at emotional scabs
Description:
In order to break the self-reinforcing nature of ruminative thoughts and allow our wounds to heal, we must interrupt the cycle of rumination once it gets triggered, and we should weaken the urge to ruminate at the source by diminishing the intensity of the feelings that fuel it. We must also make efforts to monitor our relationships and to ease the emotional burden we might be placing on loved ones. (p. 154)
Treatments:
• Change your perspective
• Reframe the anger
• Go easy on your friends
6. Failure—Emotional chest colds become psychological pneumonias
Description:
When we fail repeatedly or when we respond to failures in ways that set back our confidence, our self-esteem, and our chances of future success, we run the risk of allowing our emotional chest cold to turn into psychological pneumonia. Because much of the anxiety associated with failures can build upon itself, it is best to be prudent and apply psychological first aid treatment as soon as possible after meaningful or bothersome failures occur. (p. 189)
Treatments:
• Get support and get real
• Focus on factors in your control
• Take responsibility and own the fear
• Distract yourself from performance pressure distractions
7. Low Self-Esteem—Weak emotional immune systems
Description:
Having low self-esteem weakens our emotional immune systems and inflicts three kinds of psychological wounds: it makes us more vulnerable to psychological injuries, it makes us dismissive of positive feedback and resistant to emotional nutrients, and it makes us feel unassertive and disempowered. (p. 232)
Treatments:
• Adopt self-compassion and silence the critical voices in your head
• Identify your strengths and affirm them
• Increase your tolerance for compliments
• Increase your personal empowerment
• Improve your self-control
Think of this book as first aid for the psyche. And, use as needed until symptoms subside.
August 7, 2022
I had my first-ever therapy session yesterday, and I was nervous beforehand.
So nervous my hands shook while I added milk to my morning coffee, so nervous I dropped my curling iron while getting ready and burned my dang boob.
I somehow dragged myself to the computer for our Zoom call and was surprised to meet a dapper, sparkly-eyed man who flies in the face of my Annie Hall inspired fears. Within minutes, Dr. G made a sarcastic, off-color comment that got me full-on laughing and feeling like I was out for coffee with a friend.
I’d have clammed right up if he'd been anything other than himself: fun, willing to share vulnerable details of his own life, and in possession of the wit and willingness to sustain our first inside joke a full fifty minutes.
Yes, he shared a few truths that made me flinch. Yes, I’m already nervous about the next appointment because I sense he’s seen my crazy.
But overall, I feel extremely lucky to have been paired with this doctor, who couldn't have given me a better first-time experience.
I’m telling you this as context for why Dr. Winch isn't such a great fit for me as Dr. G. His humor skews more punny than funny for my taste, and he rigidly sticks to the book’s titular metaphor, outlining "first aid treatments" for each "psychological injury" addressed. I listened to this on audiobook and kept upping the speed to get through it quicker. I also found myself tuning out more than I listened.
I’m sure there’s another nervous first-timer out there with a burned boob and shaking hands, for whom Dr. Winch will be the perfect match. And that person will be lucky to have him.
That person just isn't me.
So nervous my hands shook while I added milk to my morning coffee, so nervous I dropped my curling iron while getting ready and burned my dang boob.
I somehow dragged myself to the computer for our Zoom call and was surprised to meet a dapper, sparkly-eyed man who flies in the face of my Annie Hall inspired fears. Within minutes, Dr. G made a sarcastic, off-color comment that got me full-on laughing and feeling like I was out for coffee with a friend.
I’d have clammed right up if he'd been anything other than himself: fun, willing to share vulnerable details of his own life, and in possession of the wit and willingness to sustain our first inside joke a full fifty minutes.
Yes, he shared a few truths that made me flinch. Yes, I’m already nervous about the next appointment because I sense he’s seen my crazy.
But overall, I feel extremely lucky to have been paired with this doctor, who couldn't have given me a better first-time experience.
I’m telling you this as context for why Dr. Winch isn't such a great fit for me as Dr. G. His humor skews more punny than funny for my taste, and he rigidly sticks to the book’s titular metaphor, outlining "first aid treatments" for each "psychological injury" addressed. I listened to this on audiobook and kept upping the speed to get through it quicker. I also found myself tuning out more than I listened.
I’m sure there’s another nervous first-timer out there with a burned boob and shaking hands, for whom Dr. Winch will be the perfect match. And that person will be lucky to have him.
That person just isn't me.
August 29, 2015
My true rating is 2.5 stars.
Overall the book is great guide for how to address the minor emotional scrapes and bruises in life. Most of the techniques describes are science based and I have heard about from other sources. I really enjoyed his presentation, he offers treatment plans for each malady. I liked that he cited research for each of the treatment.
The reason for a grading it down is that a few examples that the author puts into the book are far more complex and he uses them in attempt to illustrate a much simpler concept. He does stay on point with those examples, just focusing on issue at hand. But I feel like him ignoring the other much bigger and complex issues at hand.
Case in point is his patient who accidentally runs over mother's foot. In the situation the woman's argument with her mother escalates to the boiling point, so she tries to leave the house to disengage. Her mother follows her & insists on carrying on an argument in public. In the heat of the argument the woman forgets to straighten the steering wheel before starting to drive & runs over her mother's foot. The author focuses only on guilt part of the situation and even draws a conclusion that the woman's mother will not be able to forgive her daughter until she offers her mother a recompense - a promise never to leave in a middle of an argument. I feel that in this specific case the guilt ties into much deeper feelings shame, blame in a relationship, history of emotional abuse, inability to set boundaries and deal with conflict in a healthy way. The author doesn't mention any of these factors, although I feel they apply in much greater degree in this case than simple guilt. The author also makes a statement, which sounds like he endorses the idea that the woman to offer mother her desired recompense just to alleviate her guilt. I strongly disagree with that statement and wished he used a much less complex case to illuminate his point.
Overall the book is great guide for how to address the minor emotional scrapes and bruises in life. Most of the techniques describes are science based and I have heard about from other sources. I really enjoyed his presentation, he offers treatment plans for each malady. I liked that he cited research for each of the treatment.
The reason for a grading it down is that a few examples that the author puts into the book are far more complex and he uses them in attempt to illustrate a much simpler concept. He does stay on point with those examples, just focusing on issue at hand. But I feel like him ignoring the other much bigger and complex issues at hand.
Case in point is his patient who accidentally runs over mother's foot. In the situation the woman's argument with her mother escalates to the boiling point, so she tries to leave the house to disengage. Her mother follows her & insists on carrying on an argument in public. In the heat of the argument the woman forgets to straighten the steering wheel before starting to drive & runs over her mother's foot. The author focuses only on guilt part of the situation and even draws a conclusion that the woman's mother will not be able to forgive her daughter until she offers her mother a recompense - a promise never to leave in a middle of an argument. I feel that in this specific case the guilt ties into much deeper feelings shame, blame in a relationship, history of emotional abuse, inability to set boundaries and deal with conflict in a healthy way. The author doesn't mention any of these factors, although I feel they apply in much greater degree in this case than simple guilt. The author also makes a statement, which sounds like he endorses the idea that the woman to offer mother her desired recompense just to alleviate her guilt. I strongly disagree with that statement and wished he used a much less complex case to illuminate his point.
March 20, 2017
Written by psychologist Guy Winch, this book should probably be in your medicine cabinet, not your book shelf.
This book focuses on how ignoring emotional wounds makes them worse and how your emotional outlook on life is infected by that initial trauma.
It also sections out each emotional "infection" like guilt, anger, low self-esteem, failure, etc. and teaches you how to treat the wounds before they turn into full-fledged diseases.
Here's the TED talk by the author which is pretty useful in itself.
https://www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_t...
This book is one of those that I'll keep in my book shelf to go to for first aid tips when I feel sad, angry or probably low on self-esteem.
This book focuses on how ignoring emotional wounds makes them worse and how your emotional outlook on life is infected by that initial trauma.
It also sections out each emotional "infection" like guilt, anger, low self-esteem, failure, etc. and teaches you how to treat the wounds before they turn into full-fledged diseases.
Here's the TED talk by the author which is pretty useful in itself.
https://www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_t...
This book is one of those that I'll keep in my book shelf to go to for first aid tips when I feel sad, angry or probably low on self-esteem.
December 31, 2014
I first heard Guy on several episodes of The Mental Illness Happy Hour and his humor, easy approach, and intelligence struck a chord with me. Much of this carries over to his book, although I’d definitely recommend looking up the podcasts.
Emotional First Aid is divided into different chapters according to emotional “ailments.” Each then has a set of “prescriptions” (i.e. when battling low self esteem and the vicious cycle of negative thoughts such as “I’m a failure. I’m stupid. I’ll never be able to write a Goodreads review that will win the hearts and minds of mankind” think of what you would say to a child or a friend in a similar circumstance and try to steer your thoughts to be more kind than cruel).
Although Guy recommends reading the book in its entirety (rather than focusing on any chapter that pertains to you specifically at the time), I’m not sure if that was the best approach or not. I also can’t speak to the efficacy of the “prescriptions” but they seem to be of sound reasoning, and were often things I had heard before (not to say that it isn’t valuable to read this, because I do think it could be quite useful). But ultimately, reading/hearing advice only gets you so far, it’s ultimately up to you to put some of that wisdom into action.
Emotional First Aid is divided into different chapters according to emotional “ailments.” Each then has a set of “prescriptions” (i.e. when battling low self esteem and the vicious cycle of negative thoughts such as “I’m a failure. I’m stupid. I’ll never be able to write a Goodreads review that will win the hearts and minds of mankind” think of what you would say to a child or a friend in a similar circumstance and try to steer your thoughts to be more kind than cruel).
Although Guy recommends reading the book in its entirety (rather than focusing on any chapter that pertains to you specifically at the time), I’m not sure if that was the best approach or not. I also can’t speak to the efficacy of the “prescriptions” but they seem to be of sound reasoning, and were often things I had heard before (not to say that it isn’t valuable to read this, because I do think it could be quite useful). But ultimately, reading/hearing advice only gets you so far, it’s ultimately up to you to put some of that wisdom into action.
August 3, 2013
I was lucky enouth to put my hands on an advance copy of this important book. Dr. Winch gives us a tool box for life to deal with psychological everyday but distressing problems as well as how we can indeed benefit from them. Parents shold make a point to get the book for their kids as this is an amazing guide for adulthood, college years and throughout life. The outstanding book specifies very clearly when we can practice "self help" and when we should seek professional advice. My advice is to keep this book very handy, right next to the band aid, as am sure it will and should be referred to as an important manual to accompany us in various points in our life.
March 4, 2019
Buzzfeed likes to rec this book a lot and I get it because it's nicely written and easy to digest, but I felt it was repetitive and probably better to look at when you have a particular problem in mind than to just generally read.
August 12, 2015
Dr. Winch says that we should treat emotional pain like we do physical pain- with a good wash and a bandaid. The problem is that very few of us have had the training to know what to do when various emotional hurts occur. This book gives practical suggestions and exercises to help reduce and eliminate the lingering psychological pain and dysfunction from every day hurts and disappointments. It's an amazing little book and, potentially, life changing if the reader takes Dr. Winch's suggestions and runs with them.
November 21, 2020
مراجعة تلخيصيّة واجبة لهذا الكتاب
April 5, 2018
I wanted to hide my self-help books for fear of showing to public every inch of a wimp that I am.
This one I can hide because I read its Kindle edition on my phone. I know you think the cover screams "FOR WIMPS". I thought so too, but the fact that Guy Winch has the authority to speak on this matter, being a clinical psychologist with decades of practice, triggered me to start reading.
It only takes a few minutes of reading the Introduction before I bought Winch's idea that it's curious how well we're trained to take care of our bodies since childhood, yet we know practically nothing on how to treat "common psychological injuries." Children know what we should do when we catch a cold or get a scratch on our knee, he wrote, yet as adults we know little on how to recover from low self-esteem or loss and trauma.
The book is divided into 8 chapters, one chapter each to discuss rejection, loneliness, loss and trauma, guilt, rumination, failure, and low self-esteem. The last chapter is Conclusion, where Winch urges his readers to "create your personal psychological medicine cabinet."
In each chapter Winch discusses examples he encountered from his practice, and provides techniques to administer a "psychological aspirin" for our psychological injuries. He is cautious though to describe symptoms which signal the need to consult a mental health specialist.
I like how Winch seems to find a perfect physical ailment analogy for each of the 7 psychological ones he writes about. Loss and trauma is likened to walking on broken bones (the mental imagery alone gave me insight on why loss is something difficult to recover from), while the analogy of picking at emotional scabs is used for rumination. Through his description, I can appreciate how important it is not to dismiss the everyday hardship we have to endure - the way we won't dismiss a broken leg saying "Oh well, the pain will go away on itself."
I read the real-life examples he writes intently, marvelled at how we humans are capable to treat ourselves so badly when it comes to psychological well-being. At the end of each chapter he lists down the "aspirins", coded as Treatment A, Treatment B, etc followed by Exercises on how to apply the treatments. I find this arrangement disrupts my reading, but I can understand its reason: after all, the book bears the words “practical strategies” in its title.
I didn't read this book linearly from Chapter 1 to 8, but picked a random chapter each time instead. The one that intrigued me the most was the chapter about Rumination, because I was feeling that I tended to ruminate too much for my own good. He is so spot on - describing in detail how his clients fell into the deep well of rumination, and its horrifying effects on their lives. I liked the "treatments" he prescribed at the end of the chapter, and could see how they'd help.
All in all, it's an enjoyable book and a good one to study about man's psychological ailments. If anything, I am now constantly reminded that much as leaving my scraped knee untreated is not a brave act, taking care of a psychological cuts and wounds is not a sissy one.
This one I can hide because I read its Kindle edition on my phone. I know you think the cover screams "FOR WIMPS". I thought so too, but the fact that Guy Winch has the authority to speak on this matter, being a clinical psychologist with decades of practice, triggered me to start reading.
It only takes a few minutes of reading the Introduction before I bought Winch's idea that it's curious how well we're trained to take care of our bodies since childhood, yet we know practically nothing on how to treat "common psychological injuries." Children know what we should do when we catch a cold or get a scratch on our knee, he wrote, yet as adults we know little on how to recover from low self-esteem or loss and trauma.
The book is divided into 8 chapters, one chapter each to discuss rejection, loneliness, loss and trauma, guilt, rumination, failure, and low self-esteem. The last chapter is Conclusion, where Winch urges his readers to "create your personal psychological medicine cabinet."
In each chapter Winch discusses examples he encountered from his practice, and provides techniques to administer a "psychological aspirin" for our psychological injuries. He is cautious though to describe symptoms which signal the need to consult a mental health specialist.
I like how Winch seems to find a perfect physical ailment analogy for each of the 7 psychological ones he writes about. Loss and trauma is likened to walking on broken bones (the mental imagery alone gave me insight on why loss is something difficult to recover from), while the analogy of picking at emotional scabs is used for rumination. Through his description, I can appreciate how important it is not to dismiss the everyday hardship we have to endure - the way we won't dismiss a broken leg saying "Oh well, the pain will go away on itself."
I read the real-life examples he writes intently, marvelled at how we humans are capable to treat ourselves so badly when it comes to psychological well-being. At the end of each chapter he lists down the "aspirins", coded as Treatment A, Treatment B, etc followed by Exercises on how to apply the treatments. I find this arrangement disrupts my reading, but I can understand its reason: after all, the book bears the words “practical strategies” in its title.
I didn't read this book linearly from Chapter 1 to 8, but picked a random chapter each time instead. The one that intrigued me the most was the chapter about Rumination, because I was feeling that I tended to ruminate too much for my own good. He is so spot on - describing in detail how his clients fell into the deep well of rumination, and its horrifying effects on their lives. I liked the "treatments" he prescribed at the end of the chapter, and could see how they'd help.
All in all, it's an enjoyable book and a good one to study about man's psychological ailments. If anything, I am now constantly reminded that much as leaving my scraped knee untreated is not a brave act, taking care of a psychological cuts and wounds is not a sissy one.
Read
October 16, 2020كتاب قيم.. من الكتب التي سأحتفظ بها .. لأنه لا يكفيه قراءة واحدة
مفيد للأفراد و المعالجين.
مفيد للأفراد و المعالجين.
November 28, 2021
Kalau kita tahu bahwa diri kita kenapa-kenapa, apa yang sebaiknya dilakukan?
Ketika aku kecelakaan tunggal 2018 lalu, salah satu bagian kaki kiriku berada di luar "jalurnya." Dilarikan ke rumah sakit & mendapat tindakan medis darurat. Perawat yang berjaga sudah tahu apa yang musti dilakukan sebelum lukanya makin parah sembari menunggu dokter bisa menanganiku di ruang praktik.
Itu kalau terlihat secara kasat mata. Bagaimana jika keadaan psikis kita yang terluka? Apakah ada semacam "Pertolongan Pertama pada Kecelakaan"?
Perkenalanku dengan Guy Winch lebih dulu lewat bukunya How to Fix a Broken Heart pada 2019. Eh, belakangan ini malah baru tahu kalau Winch sudah pernah menulis Emotional First Aid pada 2013.
Seperti judulnya, buku ini memberikan pemaparan apa yang bisa kita lakukan jika merasa "tidak baik-baik saja." Perasaan itu bisa muncul dalam bentuk merasa bersalah (guilt), penolakan (rejection), kehilangan & trauma (lost & trauma), hingga tidak percaya diri (low self-esteem).
Winch menggunakan studi kasus yang biasa ditemui dalam keseharian kita. Untuk satu "perasaan kurang enak" itu, Winch memberikan 3-4 perlakuan. Sederhana sebagaimana maksud dari buku ini. Beberapa malah ada yang berupa latihan untuk membangun kapasitas manajemen emosi lebih baik. Di akhir bab, Winch selalu menutupnya dengan tulisan kapan baiknya meminta bantuan profesional.
Buku ini ringan kok. Bahasanya mudah dipahami & tidak menggunakan istilah medis "ndakik." Cocok dijadikan cemilan atau mau dibaca dalam sekali rebahan.
Untuk aku yang masih dalam rangka ngeberesin "inner-child issue" supaya bisa merawat hubungan lebih awet, Guy Winch cukup membantuku "making sense of whatever happens inside my head." Harapannya, aku bisa mengkomunikasikannya kepada partnerku dengan cara yang bukan "ngambek" (atau "silent treatment").
Beli ini di Kindle dengan harga USD2 aja karena info dari Sophia Mega :3 (makasi ya Meg!)
Kalau judul ini diskon lagi, beli gih.
Ketika aku kecelakaan tunggal 2018 lalu, salah satu bagian kaki kiriku berada di luar "jalurnya." Dilarikan ke rumah sakit & mendapat tindakan medis darurat. Perawat yang berjaga sudah tahu apa yang musti dilakukan sebelum lukanya makin parah sembari menunggu dokter bisa menanganiku di ruang praktik.
Itu kalau terlihat secara kasat mata. Bagaimana jika keadaan psikis kita yang terluka? Apakah ada semacam "Pertolongan Pertama pada Kecelakaan"?
Perkenalanku dengan Guy Winch lebih dulu lewat bukunya How to Fix a Broken Heart pada 2019. Eh, belakangan ini malah baru tahu kalau Winch sudah pernah menulis Emotional First Aid pada 2013.
Seperti judulnya, buku ini memberikan pemaparan apa yang bisa kita lakukan jika merasa "tidak baik-baik saja." Perasaan itu bisa muncul dalam bentuk merasa bersalah (guilt), penolakan (rejection), kehilangan & trauma (lost & trauma), hingga tidak percaya diri (low self-esteem).
Winch menggunakan studi kasus yang biasa ditemui dalam keseharian kita. Untuk satu "perasaan kurang enak" itu, Winch memberikan 3-4 perlakuan. Sederhana sebagaimana maksud dari buku ini. Beberapa malah ada yang berupa latihan untuk membangun kapasitas manajemen emosi lebih baik. Di akhir bab, Winch selalu menutupnya dengan tulisan kapan baiknya meminta bantuan profesional.
Buku ini ringan kok. Bahasanya mudah dipahami & tidak menggunakan istilah medis "ndakik." Cocok dijadikan cemilan atau mau dibaca dalam sekali rebahan.
Untuk aku yang masih dalam rangka ngeberesin "inner-child issue" supaya bisa merawat hubungan lebih awet, Guy Winch cukup membantuku "making sense of whatever happens inside my head." Harapannya, aku bisa mengkomunikasikannya kepada partnerku dengan cara yang bukan "ngambek" (atau "silent treatment").
Beli ini di Kindle dengan harga USD2 aja karena info dari Sophia Mega :3 (makasi ya Meg!)
Kalau judul ini diskon lagi, beli gih.
August 3, 2024
คะแนน: 4/5 ⭐
เมื่ออ่านหนังสือเล่มนี้ครั้งแรก ผมรู้สึกไม่ค่อยประทับใจนัก แต่เมื่อได้อ่านบทที่ตรงกับสถานการณ์ที่ผมกำลังเผชิญอยู่ กลับพบว่าคำแนะนำที่ให้มานั้นช่างน่าสนใจและได้ผลจริงๆ
จึงลองอ่านอีกครั้งโดยนึกถึงเรื่องราวในอดีตที่สอดคล้องกับแต่ละหัวข้อ ผมรู้สึกอินกับหนังสือมากขึ้น ทำให้ตระหนักว่าหนังสือเล่มนี้สร้างมาเพื่อการปฐมพยาบาลจิตใจของเราเอง ควรมีไว้ติดบ้านเพื่อหยิบขึ้นมาเยียวยาตนเองเมื่อจำเป็น
อย่างไรก็ตาม มีจุดหนึ่งที่รู้สึกขัดใจเล็กน้อยตลอดการอ่าน คือกรณีศึกษา (เคสของคนไข้) ที่ผู้เขียนยกมาเป็นตัวอย่าง หลังจากเล่าถึงกรณีศึกษา หลักการ และงานวิจัยที่เกี่ยวข้องแล้ว ผู้เขียนมักจะไม่ได้บอกวิธีการจัดการกับกรณีศึกษานั้นๆ อย่างชัดเจน รวมถึงไม่ได้ระบุผลลัพธ์ที่ได้ ทำให้รู้สึกค้างคาใจ (อยากรู้อยากเห็น) และเกิดความกังขาในวิธีการเยียวยาที่นำเสนอ เพราะขาดตัวอย่างที่ใช้จริงกับผลลัพธ์ที่เห็นได้ชัดเจน เนื่องจากหลายหลักการของผู้เขียนเป็นการแย้งหลักการเดิมๆ ที่เราเคยอ่านในหนังสือเล่มอื่นๆ ผมจึงต้องการหลักฐานที่ชัดเจน
แม้จะมีข้อติเล็กน้อย แต่ผมยังคงเห็นว่าหนังสือเล่มนี้เป็นแหล่งข้อมูลที่ดีเยี่ยมสำหรับการปฐมพยาบาลจิตใจตนเองเมื่อเจอสถานการณ์ต่างๆ เช่น:
การถูกปฏิเสธ
ความเหงา
การสูญเสียและเหตุการณ์สะเทือนใจ
ความรู้สึกผิด
การครุ่นคิด
ความล้มเหลว
ความเคารพตัวเองต่ำ
โดยรวมแล้ว หนังสือเล่มนี้ถือเป็นเครื่องมือที่น่าจะช่วยให้เราผ่านพ้นปัญหาทางอารมณ์ได้อย่างมีประสิทธิภาพครับ
เมื่ออ่านหนังสือเล่มนี้ครั้งแรก ผมรู้สึกไม่ค่อยประทับใจนัก แต่เมื่อได้อ่านบทที่ตรงกับสถานการณ์ที่ผมกำลังเผชิญอยู่ กลับพบว่าคำแนะนำที่ให้มานั้นช่างน่าสนใจและได้ผลจริงๆ
จึงลองอ่านอีกครั้งโดยนึกถึงเรื่องราวในอดีตที่สอดคล้องกับแต่ละหัวข้อ ผมรู้สึกอินกับหนังสือมากขึ้น ทำให้ตระหนักว่าหนังสือเล่มนี้สร้างมาเพื่อการปฐมพยาบาลจิตใจของเราเอง ควรมีไว้ติดบ้านเพื่อหยิบขึ้นมาเยียวยาตนเองเมื่อจำเป็น
อย่างไรก็ตาม มีจุดหนึ่งที่รู้สึกขัดใจเล็กน้อยตลอดการอ่าน คือกรณีศึกษา (เคสของคนไข้) ที่ผู้เขียนยกมาเป็นตัวอย่าง หลังจากเล่าถึงกรณีศึกษา หลักการ และงานวิจัยที่เกี่ยวข้องแล้ว ผู้เขียนมักจะไม่ได้บอกวิธีการจัดการกับกรณีศึกษานั้นๆ อย่างชัดเจน รวมถึงไม่ได้ระบุผลลัพธ์ที่ได้ ทำให้รู้สึกค้างคาใจ (อยากรู้อยากเห็น) และเกิดความกังขาในวิธีการเยียวยาที่นำเสนอ เพราะขาดตัวอย่างที่ใช้จริงกับผลลัพธ์ที่เห็นได้ชัดเจน เนื่องจากหลายหลักการของผู้เขียนเป็นการแย้งหลักการเดิมๆ ที่เราเคยอ่านในหนังสือเล่มอื่นๆ ผมจึงต้องการหลักฐานที่ชัดเจน
แม้จะมีข้อติเล็กน้อย แต่ผมยังคงเห็นว่าหนังสือเล่มนี้เป็นแหล่งข้อมูลที่ดีเยี่ยมสำหรับการปฐมพยาบาลจิตใจตนเองเมื่อเจอสถานการณ์ต่างๆ เช่น:
การถูกปฏิเสธ
ความเหงา
การสูญเสียและเหตุการณ์สะเทือนใจ
ความรู้สึกผิด
การครุ่นคิด
ความล้มเหลว
ความเคารพตัวเองต่ำ
โดยรวมแล้ว หนังสือเล่มนี้ถือเป็นเครื่องมือที่น่าจะช่วยให้เราผ่านพ้นปัญหาทางอารมณ์ได้อย่างมีประสิทธิภาพครับ
December 29, 2020
3.75
Sách có tựa tiếng Việt là sơ cứu cảm xúc.
Nhà ai cũng có tủ sơ cứu khi bị vết thương vật lí. Nhưng hiếm có gia đình nào có khả năng sơ cứu những vết thương về cảm xúc, tinh thần.
Cảm xúc là thứ chúng ta trải nghiệm hằng ngày, nhưng ít khi hiểu được chúng. Cuốn sách này giúp người đọc có thể hiểu được những khuôn mẫu cảm xúc thường gặp, cách để đối diện và chữa lành.
Tác giả sách có chuyên môn về tâm lí trị liệu nên tính ứng dụng của những hướng dẫn có tính ứng dụng rất cao.
Mỗi tủ sách nên có cuốn này, bên cạnh cái tủ thuốc.
Sách có tựa tiếng Việt là sơ cứu cảm xúc.
Nhà ai cũng có tủ sơ cứu khi bị vết thương vật lí. Nhưng hiếm có gia đình nào có khả năng sơ cứu những vết thương về cảm xúc, tinh thần.
Cảm xúc là thứ chúng ta trải nghiệm hằng ngày, nhưng ít khi hiểu được chúng. Cuốn sách này giúp người đọc có thể hiểu được những khuôn mẫu cảm xúc thường gặp, cách để đối diện và chữa lành.
Tác giả sách có chuyên môn về tâm lí trị liệu nên tính ứng dụng của những hướng dẫn có tính ứng dụng rất cao.
Mỗi tủ sách nên có cuốn này, bên cạnh cái tủ thuốc.
December 9, 2020
أهم فكرة جاء فيها هي رفع تقدير الذات وعدم جعل أي مشكلة تحط من تقديرك لذاتك من غير أن تبالغ في هذا الرفع فتصل للنرجسية دون أن تشعر ، كان بالامكان اختصار الكثير من الكتاب
April 9, 2019
We sustain frequent psychological wounds as we go through life. Unfortunately, until now, few of us have had the awareness and the know-how to treat them effectively. Instead we tend either to ignore them entirely or to unwittingly react in ways that deepen them and allow them to cause damage to our mental health over time. … this is the whole premise of Guy Winch's Emotional First Aid.
More and more people are become aware of mental health and the importance of taking the time to see about their emotional health. I think this book is timely and offers solid, practical advice for some common emotional wounds. In Emotional First Aid Guy Winch offers treatment for the following areas of life:
1. Rejection- The emotional cuts and scrapes of daily life
2. Loneliness- Relationship muscle weakens
3. Loss and Trauma- Walking on broken bones
4. Guilt- The poison in our system
5. Rumination- Picking at emotional scabs
6. Failure-Emotional chest colds become psychological pneumonias
7. Low Self-Esteem -Weak emotional immune systems
A well put together emotional medical cabinet if you are looking to tackle one of the following areas above. Winch did warn that this is just a "first aid kit" so if you need to go deeper please seek the relevant help.
A good read for your emotional health.
More and more people are become aware of mental health and the importance of taking the time to see about their emotional health. I think this book is timely and offers solid, practical advice for some common emotional wounds. In Emotional First Aid Guy Winch offers treatment for the following areas of life:
1. Rejection- The emotional cuts and scrapes of daily life
2. Loneliness- Relationship muscle weakens
3. Loss and Trauma- Walking on broken bones
4. Guilt- The poison in our system
5. Rumination- Picking at emotional scabs
6. Failure-Emotional chest colds become psychological pneumonias
7. Low Self-Esteem -Weak emotional immune systems
A well put together emotional medical cabinet if you are looking to tackle one of the following areas above. Winch did warn that this is just a "first aid kit" so if you need to go deeper please seek the relevant help.
A good read for your emotional health.
Read
July 8, 2022En bok som lämpar sig för alla, men jag skulle speciellt rekommendera den för personer som arbetar med människor.
Varje kapitel fokuserar på en psykisk skada och jämför den med fysiska skador. Varje kapitel innehåller dessutom praktiska övningar som fungerar som första hjälpen. Författaren är dock i varje kapitel tydlig med när man ska söka professionell hjälp.
Överlag en rätt trevlig bok att läsa, författarens personlighet lyser igenom och han skriver om för många svåra ämnen med humor och på ett sätt som är lätt att ta till sig. Dock lönar det sig att vara uppmärksam på eventuella föråldrade eller förenklade råd/exempel och bilda sin egen uppfattning, som med det mesta.
Varje kapitel fokuserar på en psykisk skada och jämför den med fysiska skador. Varje kapitel innehåller dessutom praktiska övningar som fungerar som första hjälpen. Författaren är dock i varje kapitel tydlig med när man ska söka professionell hjälp.
Överlag en rätt trevlig bok att läsa, författarens personlighet lyser igenom och han skriver om för många svåra ämnen med humor och på ett sätt som är lätt att ta till sig. Dock lönar det sig att vara uppmärksam på eventuella föråldrade eller förenklade råd/exempel och bilda sin egen uppfattning, som med det mesta.
January 4, 2016
كتاب لطيف وخفيف يوضح لنا أبرز المشاكل العاطفيه اللي نمر فيها وكيف نقدر نعالج أنفسنا خلالها .. مقسم المشكلات لعدة فصول,
- الرفض: الجروح النفسية وخدوش الحياة
- الشعور بالوحدة
الفقدان والصدمات النفسية-
- لشعور بالذنب
- التفكير الاجتراري
- الشعور بالفشل
-انخفاض تقدير الذات
الحلو فيه ان كل فصل يوضح لنا كيف نقدر نعالج انفسنا لو تعرضنا لهذي المواقف ومتى يتوجب علينا انا نستشير طبيب معالج
انصح بقرائته لمن يعاني من آلام او مر بتجارب صعبه لازالت تؤثر عليه
- الرفض: الجروح النفسية وخدوش الحياة
- الشعور بالوحدة
الفقدان والصدمات النفسية-
- لشعور بالذنب
- التفكير الاجتراري
- الشعور بالفشل
-انخفاض تقدير الذات
الحلو فيه ان كل فصل يوضح لنا كيف نقدر نعالج انفسنا لو تعرضنا لهذي المواقف ومتى يتوجب علينا انا نستشير طبيب معالج
انصح بقرائته لمن يعاني من آلام او مر بتجارب صعبه لازالت تؤثر عليه
March 9, 2019
Good reference book, but didn't learn anything particularly interesting, but fairly applicable for most emotional "injuries". I was hoping for a chapter on jealousy and envy, but there was none. Also found Winch seems to shoehorn the book a bit too much into the "First Aid" analogy without giving too much information. Didn't like the bits of humor he included in his book either.
January 17, 2022
كتاب جيًد جدًا ي تقديم الحلول والعلاجات الفعّالة بكفاءة طالما الأمر ما زال تحت سيطرة الإنسان، لا يناسب من كانت صدماته أقوى من الطبيعي، ولا يناسب الملولين.
ولهذا ضاعت نجمة من الكتاب لأنه يكرر الكثير من الكلام بلا فائدة ترجى منه.
ولكن بشكل عام الكتاب جيد جدا وتنصح به بشدة.
ولهذا ضاعت نجمة من الكتاب لأنه يكرر الكثير من الكلام بلا فائدة ترجى منه.
ولكن بشكل عام الكتاب جيد جدا وتنصح به بشدة.
July 2, 2018
As a therapist, I'm constantly looking out for helpful resources for clients. This book has quickly been added to my list. It so clearly explores the seven most common--and inevitable, if you're human!--psychological injuries and then provides specific "first aid" treatments for each:
1. Rejection--The emotional cuts and scrapes of daily life
Description:
Rejections can inflict four distinct emotional wounds, each of which might require some from of emotional first aid: lingering visceral pain, anger and aggressive urges, harm to self-esteem, and damage to feeling that we belong. (p. 17)
Treatments:
* Argue with self-criticism
* Revive your self-worth
* Replenish feelings of social connection
* Desensitize yourself
2. Loneliness--Relationship muscle weakens
Description:
Loneliness makes us constantly on guard, prepared for the disappointment and rejection we are sure will come. As a result, we miss opportunities to make social connections and behave in ways that push others away. (p. 53)
Treatments:
* Remove your negatively tinted glasses
* Identify your self-defeating behaviors
* Take on the other person's perspective
* Deepen your emotional bonds
* Create opportunities for social connection
* Adopt a best friend
3. Loss and Trauma--Walking on broken bones
Description:
Loss and trauma create four psychological wounds. They cause overwhelming emotional pain, they undermine our basic sense of identity and the roles we play in life, they destabilize our belief systems and our understanding of the world, and they challenge our ability to remain present and engaged in our most important relationships. (p. 85)
Treatments:
* Soothe your emotional pain your way
* Recover lost aspects of your self
* Find meaning in tragedy
4. Guilt--The poison in our system
Description:
Guilt usually serves an important function by alerting us to when we might have harmed another person or when any actions we're considering might do so. However, if our offense is serious or if we've already made significant efforts to apologize to a person we harmed or atone for our actions in other ways and our guilt remains excessive, or if we suffer from substantial survivor guilt, or separation and disloyalty guilt, emotional first aid is indeed necessary. (p. 119)
Treatments:
* Learn the recipe for an effective apology
* Forgive yourself
* Reengage in life
5. Rumination--Picking at emotional scabs
Description:
In order to break the self-reinforcing nature of ruminative thoughts and allow our wounds to heal, we must interrupt the cycle of rumination once it gets triggered, and we should weaken the urge to ruminate at the source by diminishing the intensity of the feelings that fuel it. We must also make efforts to monitor our relationships and to ease the emotional burden we might be placing on loved ones. (p. 154)
Treatments:
* Change your perspective
* Reframe the anger
* Go easy on your friends
6. Failure--Emotional chest colds become psychological pneumonias
Description:
When we fail repeatedly or when we respond to failures in ways that set back our confidence, our self-esteem, and our chances of future success, we run the risk of allowing our emotional chest cold to turn into psychological pneumonia. Because much of the anxiety associated with failures can build upon itself, it is best to be prudent and apply psychological first aid treatment as soon as possible after meaningful or bothersome failures occur. (p. 189)
Treatments:
* Get support and get real
* Focus on factors in your control
* Take responsibility and own the fear
* Distract yourself from performance pressure distractions
7. Low Self-Esteem--Weak emotional immune systems
Description:
Having low self-esteem weakens our emotional immune systems and inflicts three kinds of psychological wounds: it makes us more vulnerable to psychological injuries, it makes us dismissive of positive feedback and resistant to emotional nutrients, and it makes us feel unassertive and disempowered. (p. 232)
Treatments:
* Adopt self-compassion and silence the critical voices in your head
* Identify your strengths and affirm them
* Increase your tolerance for compliments
* Increase your personal empowerment
* Improve your self-control
1. Rejection--The emotional cuts and scrapes of daily life
Description:
Rejections can inflict four distinct emotional wounds, each of which might require some from of emotional first aid: lingering visceral pain, anger and aggressive urges, harm to self-esteem, and damage to feeling that we belong. (p. 17)
Treatments:
* Argue with self-criticism
* Revive your self-worth
* Replenish feelings of social connection
* Desensitize yourself
2. Loneliness--Relationship muscle weakens
Description:
Loneliness makes us constantly on guard, prepared for the disappointment and rejection we are sure will come. As a result, we miss opportunities to make social connections and behave in ways that push others away. (p. 53)
Treatments:
* Remove your negatively tinted glasses
* Identify your self-defeating behaviors
* Take on the other person's perspective
* Deepen your emotional bonds
* Create opportunities for social connection
* Adopt a best friend
3. Loss and Trauma--Walking on broken bones
Description:
Loss and trauma create four psychological wounds. They cause overwhelming emotional pain, they undermine our basic sense of identity and the roles we play in life, they destabilize our belief systems and our understanding of the world, and they challenge our ability to remain present and engaged in our most important relationships. (p. 85)
Treatments:
* Soothe your emotional pain your way
* Recover lost aspects of your self
* Find meaning in tragedy
4. Guilt--The poison in our system
Description:
Guilt usually serves an important function by alerting us to when we might have harmed another person or when any actions we're considering might do so. However, if our offense is serious or if we've already made significant efforts to apologize to a person we harmed or atone for our actions in other ways and our guilt remains excessive, or if we suffer from substantial survivor guilt, or separation and disloyalty guilt, emotional first aid is indeed necessary. (p. 119)
Treatments:
* Learn the recipe for an effective apology
* Forgive yourself
* Reengage in life
5. Rumination--Picking at emotional scabs
Description:
In order to break the self-reinforcing nature of ruminative thoughts and allow our wounds to heal, we must interrupt the cycle of rumination once it gets triggered, and we should weaken the urge to ruminate at the source by diminishing the intensity of the feelings that fuel it. We must also make efforts to monitor our relationships and to ease the emotional burden we might be placing on loved ones. (p. 154)
Treatments:
* Change your perspective
* Reframe the anger
* Go easy on your friends
6. Failure--Emotional chest colds become psychological pneumonias
Description:
When we fail repeatedly or when we respond to failures in ways that set back our confidence, our self-esteem, and our chances of future success, we run the risk of allowing our emotional chest cold to turn into psychological pneumonia. Because much of the anxiety associated with failures can build upon itself, it is best to be prudent and apply psychological first aid treatment as soon as possible after meaningful or bothersome failures occur. (p. 189)
Treatments:
* Get support and get real
* Focus on factors in your control
* Take responsibility and own the fear
* Distract yourself from performance pressure distractions
7. Low Self-Esteem--Weak emotional immune systems
Description:
Having low self-esteem weakens our emotional immune systems and inflicts three kinds of psychological wounds: it makes us more vulnerable to psychological injuries, it makes us dismissive of positive feedback and resistant to emotional nutrients, and it makes us feel unassertive and disempowered. (p. 232)
Treatments:
* Adopt self-compassion and silence the critical voices in your head
* Identify your strengths and affirm them
* Increase your tolerance for compliments
* Increase your personal empowerment
* Improve your self-control
September 12, 2022
Emotional First Aid was alright, but it just wasn’t what I was looking for as someone who’s already read numerous psychology books.
Throughout the book Guy Winch regards our psychological wounds as physical ones, with the goal of teaching readers how to care for the small cuts we may receive on a day-to-day basis before they evolve into something more serious. He discusses seven difficult experiences (e.g. rejection, loneliness, loss), the psychological wounds they inflict, and the various treatment methods for these wounds. Stories from his clients are also weaved in when appropriate.
I think of this book as a “Mental Health for Dummies”—it would be great for people who have never really thought about their mental health or emotions before, people who tend towards a more logical and structured way of thinking, and people who need concrete activities they can do to improve their mental health. Unfortunately I don’t fall into any of these categories, but I’d still recommend this as a good introductory book.
Throughout the book Guy Winch regards our psychological wounds as physical ones, with the goal of teaching readers how to care for the small cuts we may receive on a day-to-day basis before they evolve into something more serious. He discusses seven difficult experiences (e.g. rejection, loneliness, loss), the psychological wounds they inflict, and the various treatment methods for these wounds. Stories from his clients are also weaved in when appropriate.
I think of this book as a “Mental Health for Dummies”—it would be great for people who have never really thought about their mental health or emotions before, people who tend towards a more logical and structured way of thinking, and people who need concrete activities they can do to improve their mental health. Unfortunately I don’t fall into any of these categories, but I’d still recommend this as a good introductory book.
February 17, 2016
I seem to be one of the few people who didn't love this book. I whole heartedly support the underlying concept of "emotional hygiene" and "emotional first aid" but found that some of the "first aid" suggestions were not any different than other ideas offered in a plethora of other self help books. I was hoping for more of a research-based (rather than anecdotal) read, but I'm not necessarily the audience he was targeting. He's clearly targeting the general public and not those of us who have been steeped in psychological research. In that regard, he does a good job of simplifying concepts for readers (if this is what readers want--I didn't necessarily enjoy this part of the writing). I appreciate the effort, but for me, this didn't have the impact I'd hoped. The TED talk the author gives is just as good and takes less time. :)
July 6, 2017
I especially loved the chapter on ruminating. In addition to making it clear why we tend to think the way we do, Winch offers concrete ways to deal with those emotional "injuries" the instant they happen.
October 16, 2019
3 1/2 Stars.
“There is something wrong about the fact that we know so much about brushing and flossing but so little about how to take care of our emotions and our psychological well-being.”
We all have experiences that damage our emotional dimension and there are things that we could do, but we barely are conscious of them. We care about our body, society forces us for a sexy and unreal physical shape, we try to choose what we eat carefully, but nobody simply gives a fuck about his or her mind(maybe because we can’t see it like our belly). Describing emotional hygiene is the simple goal behind this book.
It contains of seven chapter, each describes a psychological medicine cabinet about Rejection, Loneliness, Loss and Trauma, Guilt, Rumination, Failure and Low self-esteem. I found chapters classification very well and helped me not to get confused. Each one contains 1. The psychological wounds that inflict our body, 2. General treatment guidelines (with a summary after it), 3. Some exercises (sometimes) to help you stick to that guideline and at last 4. A brief part, when to consult a mental health professional. Also, finding sources of what Guy Winch was saying all through book, enabled me to check it for further information when I needed.
I didn’t check all of solutions that were in the book practically, but I did use some of them before even starting this book and they were helpful in some ways. So, I know some of them (not most or all of them) works well (at least in my case) and it’s not just some crap thing to sell and deplete your pockets out of money.
I first saw this book when I was watching one of Guy Winch’s videos about “Emotional First Aids” and why we all need it. I found it amusing, you can watch here: https://www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_the_case_for_emotional_hygiene?language=en
“There is something wrong about the fact that we know so much about brushing and flossing but so little about how to take care of our emotions and our psychological well-being.”
We all have experiences that damage our emotional dimension and there are things that we could do, but we barely are conscious of them. We care about our body, society forces us for a sexy and unreal physical shape, we try to choose what we eat carefully, but nobody simply gives a fuck about his or her mind(maybe because we can’t see it like our belly). Describing emotional hygiene is the simple goal behind this book.
It contains of seven chapter, each describes a psychological medicine cabinet about Rejection, Loneliness, Loss and Trauma, Guilt, Rumination, Failure and Low self-esteem. I found chapters classification very well and helped me not to get confused. Each one contains 1. The psychological wounds that inflict our body, 2. General treatment guidelines (with a summary after it), 3. Some exercises (sometimes) to help you stick to that guideline and at last 4. A brief part, when to consult a mental health professional. Also, finding sources of what Guy Winch was saying all through book, enabled me to check it for further information when I needed.
I didn’t check all of solutions that were in the book practically, but I did use some of them before even starting this book and they were helpful in some ways. So, I know some of them (not most or all of them) works well (at least in my case) and it’s not just some crap thing to sell and deplete your pockets out of money.
I first saw this book when I was watching one of Guy Winch’s videos about “Emotional First Aids” and why we all need it. I found it amusing, you can watch here: https://www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_the_case_for_emotional_hygiene?language=en
April 2, 2019
Ausschnitte vom Buch, die ich besonders interessant fand:
Argumente für emotionale Hilfe:
- Seite 9: Wir würden niemals ein aufgeschlagenes Knie so lange unbehandelt lassen, bis wir nicht mehr richtig gehen können, aber seelische Verletzungen lassen wir so gut wie immer unbehandelt.
- Seite 19: Bei Untersuchungen von Amokläufen an Schulen, einschliesslich der Tragödie in Columbine von 1999, kam heraus, dass 13 von 15 Tätern starke persönliche Ablehnung und Ausgrenzung durch ihre Mitschüler erfahren hatten.
- Seite 21: Unser Selbstswertgefühl ist unter anderem deshalb so leicht durch Zurückweisung zu verletzen, weil zu unserer Grundausstattung ein fundamentales Bedürfnis gehört, uns von anderen akzeptiert zu fühlen.
- Seite 46-49: Zahlreiche Studien zeigen, dass Menschen, die einmal als einsam eingestuft wurden, eher negativ beurteilt werden. Einsamkeit ist mit einem Stigma behaftet, das Scham und Selbstvorwürfe mit sich bringt.
Strategien um Selbstwertgefühle und Zugehörigkeit zu stärken:
- Seite 35: Ein kurzer Austausch / Chat kann helfen Selbstwertgefühle und Zugehörigheit wiederherzustellen.
- Seite 36: Eine Zurückweisung von einem Mensch kann dir helfen abzuwägen, ob die Person zu deiner Persönlichkeit und Interessen passt.
- Seite 67: Frag dich, wie es sich anfühlen könnte der andere Mensch zu sein. Welche Erfahrungen hat die Person mit ähnlichen Situationen gemacht? Auf was hat die Person Angst? Warum? Was hofft die Person passieren wird?
- Seite 160: Die Gründe, dass du Neujahrsvorsätzevorsätze nicht umgesetzt, sind klar: 1. Du hast zu viele. Reduziere auf einen Vorsatz. 2. Ein sorgfältig ausgearbeiteter Plan mit konkreten Zielen und genauen Zeiten fehlt.
- Seite 209: Ersetze Stimmen in deinem Kopf, welche dich verbal misshandeln, mit freundlichen, verständnisvollen, hilfreichen und beruhigen Stimmen. Studien haben gezeigt, dass Mitgefühl mit sich selbst unser emotionales Immunsystem stärkt.
- Seite 211: Definiere was du richtig gut kannst.
Strategien um Einsamkeit zu lindern:
- Seite 55: Um Einsamkeit zu lindern kann es helfen mit anderen Menschen zu sprechen. Beispiel: Bei Webinars / Events via www.meetup.com teilnehmen, welche mit interaktiven Übungen so moderiert sind, dass Menschen verschiedene Themen miteinander besprechen.
- Seite 55 und 73: Um Einsamkeit zu lindern kann es helfen ein Haustier anzuschaffen, z.B. einen Hund.
- Seite 60: Kontaktliste auf beispielsweise www.linkedin.com anschauen. Eine Kontaktperson, mit der du gerne Thema x besprechen möchtest, schreiben.
- Seite 72: Helfe freiwillig mit verschiedene Aufgaben zu lösen, z.B. via www.swissvolunteers.ch
Strategien um Unsicherheit und Angst zu überwinden:
- Seite 71: Wenn du bei einem Event teilnimmst, nimm dir vor, es ist ein Teil eines Researchprojektes, und dass du darüber bloggen wirst. Wenn du - neben Eventteilnahme - ein zusätzliches Vorhaben hast, wirkst du als ein Mensch, der engagiert ein oder mehrere Hobbys pflegst.
- Seite 73: Hilf anderen Menschen. Wenn du darauf fokussierst zu geben, wirst du weniger unsicher.
- Seite 185: Schreibe über deine Befürchtungen z.B. auf deinem Blog.
- Seite 185: Spreche mit Menschen, die du vertraust, über deine Ängste.
- Seite 187: Um Prüfungsangst zu reduzieren, vorbereite dich gut.
- Seite 187: Mache Atmungsübungen.
- Seite 189: Schreibe über einen Wert, der für dich sehr wichtig ist. Schreibe warum dieser Wert für dich wichtig ist.
Strategien um mit der Belastung von Verlust, Trauer und Kummer umzugehen:
- Seite 77: Kummer ist eine normale Reaktion auf Umstände wie Verlust von Job und/oder Partner. Zeit ist ein wichtiger Faktor bei der Genesung. Nach etwa 6 Monaten haben wir das akute Stadium von Kummer überstanden.
- Seite 79: Einen Sinn vom Leben zu suchen / definieren kann helfen.
- Seite 94: Wenn wir nach dem Warum statt nach dem Wie forschen, erweitern wir unseren Denkhorizont und unser Assoziationsspektrum und sind gezwungen, die umfassenden existenziellen, spirituellen oder philosophischen Implikationen des Ereignisses einzubeziehen. Das hilft uns Sinn in den Ereignissen zu finden und auch einen inneren Frieden zu finden.
- Seite 96: Über Ereignisse schreiben kann der Person selber und anderen Menschen helfen.
Strategien um mit Fehlern, Peinlichkeiten und Scham umzugehen:
- Seite 173: Von Fehlern lernen. Thomas Edison probierte mehrere Tausend Male eine Glühbirne zu machen, bis es ihm gelang. Er sagte: "Ich bin kein einziges Mal gescheitert. Ich habe nur 10,000 Wege gefunden, die nicht funktionieren."
- Seite 174: Fokussiere auf das was bei der Arbeit gut gelungen / gut gegangen ist.
- Seite 175: Fokussiere auf die Freude, die du bei der Arbeit erlebt hast.
- Seite 176: Fokussiere auf das, was du selber kontrollieren kannst. Beispiel: Um mehr gesund zu werden, gehe mehr und sitze weniger.
- Seite 185: Lache über dich selbst. Studien zeigen, dass eine humorvolle Betrachtung des Scheiterns effektiv ist um Peinlichkeiten und Scham zu überwinden. Lerne von Komikern.
Strategien um Schuldgefühle zu lindern:
- Seite 114: Sich in 3 Schritten entschuldigen: 1. Ich habe unseren Termin heute total vergessen. 2. Es tut mir sehr leid. 3. Ich bitte dir um Verzeihung.
- Seite 121: Sich selber in 2 Schritten vergeben: 1. Übernehme volle Verantwortung für dein Verhalten sowie die Folgen, welche die Schuldgefühle verursacht haben. 2. Beschliesse dass übertriebene Schuldgefühle keinem produktiven Zweck für dein Leben dienen.
- Seite 126: Sich dem Leben wieder zuzuwenden. Entdecke deine wichtigsten Werte. Setze sinnvolle Ziele, welche du erreichen willst.
Argumente für emotionale Hilfe:
- Seite 9: Wir würden niemals ein aufgeschlagenes Knie so lange unbehandelt lassen, bis wir nicht mehr richtig gehen können, aber seelische Verletzungen lassen wir so gut wie immer unbehandelt.
- Seite 19: Bei Untersuchungen von Amokläufen an Schulen, einschliesslich der Tragödie in Columbine von 1999, kam heraus, dass 13 von 15 Tätern starke persönliche Ablehnung und Ausgrenzung durch ihre Mitschüler erfahren hatten.
- Seite 21: Unser Selbstswertgefühl ist unter anderem deshalb so leicht durch Zurückweisung zu verletzen, weil zu unserer Grundausstattung ein fundamentales Bedürfnis gehört, uns von anderen akzeptiert zu fühlen.
- Seite 46-49: Zahlreiche Studien zeigen, dass Menschen, die einmal als einsam eingestuft wurden, eher negativ beurteilt werden. Einsamkeit ist mit einem Stigma behaftet, das Scham und Selbstvorwürfe mit sich bringt.
Strategien um Selbstwertgefühle und Zugehörigkeit zu stärken:
- Seite 35: Ein kurzer Austausch / Chat kann helfen Selbstwertgefühle und Zugehörigheit wiederherzustellen.
- Seite 36: Eine Zurückweisung von einem Mensch kann dir helfen abzuwägen, ob die Person zu deiner Persönlichkeit und Interessen passt.
- Seite 67: Frag dich, wie es sich anfühlen könnte der andere Mensch zu sein. Welche Erfahrungen hat die Person mit ähnlichen Situationen gemacht? Auf was hat die Person Angst? Warum? Was hofft die Person passieren wird?
- Seite 160: Die Gründe, dass du Neujahrsvorsätzevorsätze nicht umgesetzt, sind klar: 1. Du hast zu viele. Reduziere auf einen Vorsatz. 2. Ein sorgfältig ausgearbeiteter Plan mit konkreten Zielen und genauen Zeiten fehlt.
- Seite 209: Ersetze Stimmen in deinem Kopf, welche dich verbal misshandeln, mit freundlichen, verständnisvollen, hilfreichen und beruhigen Stimmen. Studien haben gezeigt, dass Mitgefühl mit sich selbst unser emotionales Immunsystem stärkt.
- Seite 211: Definiere was du richtig gut kannst.
Strategien um Einsamkeit zu lindern:
- Seite 55: Um Einsamkeit zu lindern kann es helfen mit anderen Menschen zu sprechen. Beispiel: Bei Webinars / Events via www.meetup.com teilnehmen, welche mit interaktiven Übungen so moderiert sind, dass Menschen verschiedene Themen miteinander besprechen.
- Seite 55 und 73: Um Einsamkeit zu lindern kann es helfen ein Haustier anzuschaffen, z.B. einen Hund.
- Seite 60: Kontaktliste auf beispielsweise www.linkedin.com anschauen. Eine Kontaktperson, mit der du gerne Thema x besprechen möchtest, schreiben.
- Seite 72: Helfe freiwillig mit verschiedene Aufgaben zu lösen, z.B. via www.swissvolunteers.ch
Strategien um Unsicherheit und Angst zu überwinden:
- Seite 71: Wenn du bei einem Event teilnimmst, nimm dir vor, es ist ein Teil eines Researchprojektes, und dass du darüber bloggen wirst. Wenn du - neben Eventteilnahme - ein zusätzliches Vorhaben hast, wirkst du als ein Mensch, der engagiert ein oder mehrere Hobbys pflegst.
- Seite 73: Hilf anderen Menschen. Wenn du darauf fokussierst zu geben, wirst du weniger unsicher.
- Seite 185: Schreibe über deine Befürchtungen z.B. auf deinem Blog.
- Seite 185: Spreche mit Menschen, die du vertraust, über deine Ängste.
- Seite 187: Um Prüfungsangst zu reduzieren, vorbereite dich gut.
- Seite 187: Mache Atmungsübungen.
- Seite 189: Schreibe über einen Wert, der für dich sehr wichtig ist. Schreibe warum dieser Wert für dich wichtig ist.
Strategien um mit der Belastung von Verlust, Trauer und Kummer umzugehen:
- Seite 77: Kummer ist eine normale Reaktion auf Umstände wie Verlust von Job und/oder Partner. Zeit ist ein wichtiger Faktor bei der Genesung. Nach etwa 6 Monaten haben wir das akute Stadium von Kummer überstanden.
- Seite 79: Einen Sinn vom Leben zu suchen / definieren kann helfen.
- Seite 94: Wenn wir nach dem Warum statt nach dem Wie forschen, erweitern wir unseren Denkhorizont und unser Assoziationsspektrum und sind gezwungen, die umfassenden existenziellen, spirituellen oder philosophischen Implikationen des Ereignisses einzubeziehen. Das hilft uns Sinn in den Ereignissen zu finden und auch einen inneren Frieden zu finden.
- Seite 96: Über Ereignisse schreiben kann der Person selber und anderen Menschen helfen.
Strategien um mit Fehlern, Peinlichkeiten und Scham umzugehen:
- Seite 173: Von Fehlern lernen. Thomas Edison probierte mehrere Tausend Male eine Glühbirne zu machen, bis es ihm gelang. Er sagte: "Ich bin kein einziges Mal gescheitert. Ich habe nur 10,000 Wege gefunden, die nicht funktionieren."
- Seite 174: Fokussiere auf das was bei der Arbeit gut gelungen / gut gegangen ist.
- Seite 175: Fokussiere auf die Freude, die du bei der Arbeit erlebt hast.
- Seite 176: Fokussiere auf das, was du selber kontrollieren kannst. Beispiel: Um mehr gesund zu werden, gehe mehr und sitze weniger.
- Seite 185: Lache über dich selbst. Studien zeigen, dass eine humorvolle Betrachtung des Scheiterns effektiv ist um Peinlichkeiten und Scham zu überwinden. Lerne von Komikern.
Strategien um Schuldgefühle zu lindern:
- Seite 114: Sich in 3 Schritten entschuldigen: 1. Ich habe unseren Termin heute total vergessen. 2. Es tut mir sehr leid. 3. Ich bitte dir um Verzeihung.
- Seite 121: Sich selber in 2 Schritten vergeben: 1. Übernehme volle Verantwortung für dein Verhalten sowie die Folgen, welche die Schuldgefühle verursacht haben. 2. Beschliesse dass übertriebene Schuldgefühle keinem produktiven Zweck für dein Leben dienen.
- Seite 126: Sich dem Leben wieder zuzuwenden. Entdecke deine wichtigsten Werte. Setze sinnvolle Ziele, welche du erreichen willst.
March 11, 2020
A reference book and psychological medicine cabinet to have at hand for daily aches.
I read it as an ebook. I'll definitely have the paper version to keep and review as much as necessary.
As a review of the content, I found it highly efficient, based on scientific researches and extremely simple (not effortlessly though) to implement.
I hope this will help more people to spend more time on making their psychological well being a priority.
I read it as an ebook. I'll definitely have the paper version to keep and review as much as necessary.
As a review of the content, I found it highly efficient, based on scientific researches and extremely simple (not effortlessly though) to implement.
I hope this will help more people to spend more time on making their psychological well being a priority.
October 1, 2022
Great book! The author explains and analyzes the feelings in each chapter. And gives ways of dealing with those feelings. He has based his remedies on up-to-date research. There were interesting findings that he mentioned.
The book gave me a deeper understanding of those feelings and ideas how to deal with them. I’ll refer to it at times when I need it. It was exactly what I have been looking for.
The book gave me a deeper understanding of those feelings and ideas how to deal with them. I’ll refer to it at times when I need it. It was exactly what I have been looking for.
November 7, 2023
This one is for the Solution-Focused girlies 💄👠💅🏻 this is super helpful for actionable strategies for your clients/self and particularly helpful for the “feeling stuck” folks
April 22, 2019
I think this book is best read on an as-needed basis. Required reading, IMO. Always good to get a refresher on how to apologize, how to manage rumination, how to heal from grief, etc. Insane that this stuff is not taught in schools. Not the most in-depth, insightful, paradigm-shifting book you read on the topic, but that's not what it is supposed to be.
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