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วิธีพาตัวเองออกจาก "กล่อง" ใบเล็ก

4.11  ·  Rating details ·  16,139 Ratings  ·  1,737 Reviews
"วิธีพาตัวเองออกจาก กลอง ใบเลก : Leadership and Self-Deception" เลมนี เปนหนังสือขายดีระดับโลกทีเดินเรืองผานตัวละครทีเปนผูบริหารสูง ซึงแมจะประสบความสำเรจ แตชีวิตกลับถูกกัดกรอนเพราะปัญหาความสัมพันธทีแกไมตก ทังกับภรรยา ลูกชาย และลูกนอง จนกระทังเขาไดคนพบวา ตนตอของปัญหาทังหมดมาจาก "กลอง" เลกๆ เพียงใบเดียว ดังนัน วิธีเดียวทีจะแกปัญหาเรืองคนทังหมดคือ "การออกจากกลอง" ดวยวิธีการเขี ...more
Paperback, 232 pages
Published (first published January 1st 2000)
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Alan
Feb 02, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is a hard book to read - not because the language or ideas are lofty (just the opposite, the ideas have been made extremely accessible) -- the reason this book was hard to read, is because it nearly forces you to take a hard look at the way you live, the way you treat others, and the way you navigate through business, personal, and other situations.

The biggest take aways from this book, in my humble opinion, are that we often are at least part of the cause of the problems that we *blame* o
...more
Erin
Apr 02, 2013 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: work-related
Good principles, a good teaching tool for organizations, but painful to get through.

I assume the story format is aimed to make the read easier to get through and understand, but instead it felt like a local TV commercial with a bad script. I would prefer that the narrator was straight, to-the-point and speaking to the reader. Examples are helpful, but following Tom's slow learning process made me feel like I was in a math class that I was too advanced for, ready to move on to the more complicate
...more
London
Jan 02, 2012 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
I like to refer to this book as "the worst book I ever finished reading". Meaning that I kept reading it all the way to the end (including the 20 or so pages of Arbinger Institute sales pitch), which was long past the point where I wanted to put it down and not pick it back up again. What really got me was the condescending tone of the narrator. Others have described the same thing as "simplifying concepts to almost childlike speaking" but in reality, the narrator is so condescending to the read ...more
Kim
Feb 17, 2008 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: personal-growth
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Eric Glenn
Aug 13, 2010 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I read this book in one day...I just couldn't put it down. An excellent book on how to be a better person and leader. Really set well with my beliefs on building relationships which are the love of others versus love of self. I think I will buy this book for each of my adult children to read. Hopefully they can learn these concepts faster than the 52 years it has taken me!

It is also a MUST read for leaders in business, especially if you are involved in Network Marketing. Really it is a must rea
...more
Laura Broder
Feb 22, 2010 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
READ THIS BOOK RIGHT NOW.

I'm serious.

I'm not really into management books, but this one was recommended to me by a friend and mentor who I respect immensely. She gave me her copy months and months ago, and boy do I wish I picked it up sooner.

Firstly, this book is incredibly readable. Though it's about communication and interpersonal relationships, it's not a dry, non-fiction handbook. The concepts the book present are unveiled slowly, through a fictional story. Tons of real-life examples are use
...more
Idrees
كتاب رائع!
مفيد ليس فقط للعلاقات في العمل، بل وللعلاقات بشكل عام، وخاصة العلاقات بين أفراد العائلة، من زوج وزوجة، وآباء وأبناء.
أنصح به كل أحد.
Antoinette Perez
Really struggled with this book, and I see from the average rating that I'm in the minority here. The contrived fable format... the condescending, read-my-mind closed question interrogations... the shallow introspection... the insistence on the reader forgetting what he or she knows about the phrases "in the box" and "out of the box" to adopt a new meaning just for this book... long-winded (pages-long) pseudo-explanations of new concepts and jargon that only muddy the waters more, like this exce ...more
VR
Nov 18, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Anyone who wants a full and satisfied life
Recommended to VR by: Judge Memmott
A book that teaches powerful principles that I have already begun implementing to great effect in my own life. The principles we already know for the most part, and the general truths don't surprise, but The Arbinger Institute has blended and crafted them in such a way as to help us really put it all together. My favorite and most meaningful insight is that when we are "in the box" it doesn't matter what we do, how helpful or good we try to be, we will end up defeating ourselves. Forget blame an ...more
Kelly
Jan 19, 2009 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction
I came into work one day, and this book was on my desk with no note attached. I picked it up, flipped it over, and read the first quote on the back: "Fascinating, thought provoking, and insightful! This book is a wake-up call to all those who think they're good with people..."[return][return]Wait. What?! Was somebody trying to tell me something? Was this some passive-aggressive attempt at telling me I'm a bear to work with? I could actually feel my heart drop and hit my stomach. I hid the book u ...more
Farnoosh Brock
Apr 13, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: business-spirit
The premise of this book focuses on one's own limited view of people, relationships, and organizational dynamics and clearly shows them as obstacles to one's optimal performance and productivity. The Arbinger Institute reveals the new thoughts and debunks false notions around leadership. The best leadership and business books weave the concepts into a story rather than disseminate them in dry abstract paragraphs. Try as it may, abstraction always comes short of making us engage and anticipate th ...more
Dan George
May 19, 2014 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: leadership
The core ideas in the book -- what the authors call getting "in the box" toward others and how to get out of the box -- are helpful. However, two things keep me from giving this book a higher rating.

First, the story the authors use to introduce these core ideas to the reader could have been much shorter with higher impact. See Patrick Lencioni's business fables for an example of that.

Second, two key terms in the book -- "in the box" and "self-betrayal" -- are not good fits for what the authors
...more
Cameron
Sep 09, 2008 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Anyone
Life changing way to look at the people around us and our influence on them.

I have just gone through this book with another student and it has changed his life. He just apologized to his father for some serious stuff that he would not admit to in the past. He said he does not like his dad still but needs to treat him as a person because that is more fair.

What better endorsement for a book?

This is the fourth student I have gone through this book with and it is a great intervention in therapy. I h
...more
Jesse Stay
Jan 09, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Jesse by: David Barlow
Shelves: improving-life
A guidebook for life! This excellent book uses a fictional example to get you thinking "out of the box" in how you interact with others, both in business and in your personal life. This should be mandatory reading for every employee and family member. You find yourself in the shoes of the characters as they go through problems in their lives, realizing that we all have these same problems in our relationships with people. I'll be having my kids all read this! This book will help you, and everyon ...more
Jenny Stringham
Good ideas, and a clever way of communicating the ideas while keeping the reader engaged. A little hokey in parts, but it worked good for the subject I thought.
Trung Thieu
Jul 07, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Sách hay, dễ đọc.
Tựa đề tiếng Việt là "Lãnh Đạo và sự Tự Lừa Dối" (mua bản ebook của alezaa có 15k còn tiki thì 20k, sách giấy thì tầm 50k)
Tuy tựa đề có từ Lãnh Đạo nhưng triết lý của sách có thể được áp dụng vào nhiều mặt của cuộc sống thường nhật.

Một số khái niệm:
- Sự Tự Lừa Dối: Con người chúng ta luôn chối bỏ sự thật là mình đang có vấn đề
ẩn dụ bằng hình ảnh nhốt mình trong hộp.

- Sự Tự Phản bội:
1. Đó là khi ta biết mình nên làm điều gì đó cho người khác nhưng cuối cùng lại không.

2. Khi tự ph
...more
Thai Duc
Jun 18, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
People should read the book. It gives a new way of looking at our behaviors. It gives you an option to look at your acting. By knowing them, you can gradually live a better life, run organizations better. The book does not give you answers for your problems. It gives you the truth.
I love the "Box" concept and the drawing. The drawing delivered a big impact on my memory.
While reading the book, I reflected, I got so many ah-ha moments. The book is my environment to open the other sides of the box.
...more
Ambika Rani K
A must read book for everyone who thinks he is right all the time and the other person is wrong. A book which serves as a compendium in resolving every troubled relationship in your life.
Corinne
"WHAT?" you say to yourself. WHAT is this fantasy-story-loving girl doing reading a book that demands shelving on the business/psychology shelf? And a valid question it is. I would never in one thousand years have picked it up if my dearly beloved husband hadn't read it first and told me that it changed his life. Changed it to the point where I am SEEING him look at the world in a different way. And when my husband, who has watched me read for 11+ years now and has never once asked me to read so ...more
Abe Smith
I thought the book had some excellent five star concepts and ideas but it was just a 3 star read. Although the book didn't unnecessarily rehash ideas as business books are prone to do, I felt that it was sometimes difficult to extract the principles being taught because of the story-style way of presenting the material. That said, I plan on implementing a couple of their ideas which I believe can be life altering.
❀Aimee❀ Just one more page...
Interesting way of thinking that takes some practice for most people. For some reason, I tend to think this way most of the time. I do need to consider this whenever I start to feel my frustration levels rise with someone.
Joy Gardner
Oct 18, 2007 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is a great book about what it really means to be a leader and inspire change.
Barry Davis
Jun 11, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Subtitled “Getting Out of the Box”, uses the parable of a fictional company, agrum, and a new employee, tom Callum, to learn how to think and act “outside of the box”, avoiding the pitfalls of self-deception.

Based on the work of Arbinger Institute, it is a very readable tale that includes experiences with family, co-workers, strangers, etc. to help understand how our self-betrayal (knowing what to do and not doing it, or “honoring” it), places individuals “in the box” where it is necessary for o
...more
Willian Molinari
Aug 04, 2017 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: audio
It's a good book. Good information in a good narrative form.

This is a short book with an easy to follow narrative about leadership. There are not so many notes about this one, but here they are:

* See People as people, not objects
* Self-betrayal is an act in contrary of what I feel I should do for another person. i.e. when you want to hold the door but doesn't
* When I betray myself I enter in the box and start seeing the world in a way it justifies my self-betrayal, my view of reality becomes dis
...more
Steve
May 08, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I'm not a fan of business/management/leadership books, finding most of them filled with platitudes and banalities. That seems par for the course in the genre. "Leadership and Self-Deception" is part of that genre, but is able to transcend it, at least a bit. What distinguished this book is the self-deception aspect. The premise is that leaders especially but human being in general fail when they fail to view people as human beings and as ends in themselves rather than means to an end. This is so ...more
Niki
Aug 27, 2017 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I read this book on the recommendation of my boss, who said he found it very enlightening. Apparently a lot of organizations use this book as a sort of guide, and much of the material focuses on how to think outwardly, of others, instead of inwardly and of oneself, in company and work settings. The book's written as a novel, and some readers on other reviews expressed they didn't like that, because it made the tone seem condescending to them, but I haven't found it condescending at all (though t ...more
Justin Weiss
Nov 05, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I wish I'd read this a long time ago.

By this point, I'm pretty familiar with the "focus on yourself before you focus on others" idea, the "you are ultimately responsible for your own part in failure," all that stuff. But this was the first book I've read that put the nuance and principles into it that I didn't know I was missing.

It caused me to reflect a lot on situations and relationships I could have handled _much_ better in the past. Besides being fast and fun, I'm pretty sure this is going
...more
Elizabeth D
Sep 22, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Every mentor should give this book to their protégés. It crosses from professional life to personal life. Understanding how you think and process the environment around you will inspire you to see others differently!
Jack Vinson
Sep 30, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Interesting perspective on what blocks people from performing at their highest. Need to think about this. Nice parallels with the TOC thinking processes - particularly the idea that People Are Good.
Sina Hassanpour
Jun 27, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
من در واقع ترجمه آقاي شيخ الاسلام از اين كتاب راخواندم، به نظرم كتاب بسيار خوب و مفيديه و براي درك بسياري از روابط انساني چه در زندگي و چه در محيط كار بسيار مهم و حياتي است.
فقط در ترجمه از عبارت بيرون از كوزه به جاي عبارت
Out of the box
استفاده شده بود كه به نظرم خيلي غريب بود و حداقل از نظر من عبارت به جايي نبود. البته در حد دانش من
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Arbinger was founded in 1979. Since then, Arbinger has worked with thousands of individuals and organizations and helped them to transform their effectiveness and performance.

Early on, Arbinger’s growth was fueled solely by clients who spread the word about Arbinger’s impact. Arbinger’s public profile was then dramatically increased by the global success of its first book, Leadership & Self De
...more
More about The Arbinger Institute...
“Self-deception is like this. It blinds us to the true causes of problems, and once we’re blind, all the “solutions” we can think of will actually make matters worse. Whether at work or at home, self-deception obscures the truth about ourselves, corrupts our view of others and our circumstances, and inhibits our ability to make wise and helpful decisions.” 4 likes
“Whenever we are in the box, we have a need that is met by others’ poor behavior. And so our boxes encourage more poor behavior in others, even if that behavior makes our lives more difficult.” 3 likes
More quotes…