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Vampires Don't Sparkle!
What would you do if you had unlimited power and eternal life? Would you...go back to high school? Attend the same classes year after year, going through the pomp and circumstance of one graduation after another, until you found the perfect date to take to prom? Would you...spend your days moping and brooding, finding your only joy in a game of baseball on a stormy day? Or would you...do something else? Anything else? The authors of this collection have a few ideas; some fanciful, some humorous, and some as dark as an endless night. Join us, and discover what it truly means to be "vampyre." Edited by Michael West Foreword by Michael West "A New Life" by J. F. Gonzalez "What Once was Flesh" by Tim Waggoner "The Darkton Circus Mystery" by Elizabeth Massie "Robot Vampire" by R. J. Sullivan "Beneath a Templar Cross" by Gord Rollo "The Weapon of Memory" by Kyle S. Johnson "The Excavation" by Stephen Zimmer "Skraeling" by Joel A. Sutherland "Dreams of Winter" by Bob Freeman "Dracula's Winkee: Bloodsucker Blues" by Gregory L. Hall "I Fuck Your Sunshine" by Lucy A. Snyder "A Soldier's Story" by Maurice Broaddus "Rattenkonig " by Douglas F. Warrick "Vampire Nation" by Jerry Gordon "Curtain Call" by Gary A. Braunbeck
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First published March 12, 2013
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About the author
Michael West
31 books175 followersMichael West is the bestselling author of Cinema of Shadows, Spook House, The Wide Game, Skull Full of Kisses, and the critically-acclaimed Legacy of the Gods series. A graduate of Indiana University, West earned a degree in Telecommunications and Film Theory, and since that time, he has written a multitude of short stories, articles, and reviews for various on-line and print publications. He lives and works in the Indianapolis area with his wife, Stephanie, their two children, Kyle and Ryan, their daughter-in-law, Grace, and their dog, King Seesar.
His children are convinced that spirits move through the woods near their home.
West's short story "Goodnight," originally published in WICKED KARNIVAL #6, was named "Best Horror Short Story of 2005" in the P&E Readers Poll.
His children are convinced that spirits move through the woods near their home.
West's short story "Goodnight," originally published in WICKED KARNIVAL #6, was named "Best Horror Short Story of 2005" in the P&E Readers Poll.
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
January 10, 2017
The introduction to this book, written by editor Michael West, starts out with the following…
”The 1988 concert film Rattle and Hum opened up with a familiar sounding tune. Lead singer Bono took the microphone in his hand and announced to the crowd, ‘This song…Charles Manson stole it from the Beatles. We’re stealin’ it back.’ And the band then produced to rock a huge arena with their amazing rendition of Helter Skelter”
...he then goes on to say…
”Stephenie Meyer stole the vampire from Bram Stoker. We’re stealin’ it back!”
…and more power to em! I’ve felt the same exact way that Michael West does. That Twilight corrupted the vampire. This is an anthology of fifteen short stories about vampires written by writers who are all fed up with sparkly vampires. Most are horror and dark fantasy, but some are comedy. I have to say I really enjoyed this book. My favorite stories were: What Once Was Flesh by Tim Waggoner; Beneath a Templar Cross by Gord Rollo; Skraeling by Joel A. Sutherland; Dreams of Winter by Bob Freeman; and Curtain Call by Gary A. Braunbeck. Dreams of Winter was my number one favorite out of the bunch. The story of an occult detective who is hunting a vampire that can take the appearance of someone the victim longs for. And Dracula’s Winkee: Bloodsucker Blues was absolutely hilarious!
There were two stories, however, that I was not fond of at all. I did not like Robot Vampire by R.J. Sullivan. A singing, dancing female robot that’s possessed by a Japanese bloodsucking demon just didn’t sit well with me. And I Fuck Your Sunshine by Lucy A. Snyder was incredibly stupid!
This is an “Anti-Twilight” book, and I highly recommend it. Also, if you purchase this book a portion of the money goes to the American Cancer Society, and if there’s anything worse then Twilight it’s cancer!
”The 1988 concert film Rattle and Hum opened up with a familiar sounding tune. Lead singer Bono took the microphone in his hand and announced to the crowd, ‘This song…Charles Manson stole it from the Beatles. We’re stealin’ it back.’ And the band then produced to rock a huge arena with their amazing rendition of Helter Skelter”
...he then goes on to say…
”Stephenie Meyer stole the vampire from Bram Stoker. We’re stealin’ it back!”
…and more power to em! I’ve felt the same exact way that Michael West does. That Twilight corrupted the vampire. This is an anthology of fifteen short stories about vampires written by writers who are all fed up with sparkly vampires. Most are horror and dark fantasy, but some are comedy. I have to say I really enjoyed this book. My favorite stories were: What Once Was Flesh by Tim Waggoner; Beneath a Templar Cross by Gord Rollo; Skraeling by Joel A. Sutherland; Dreams of Winter by Bob Freeman; and Curtain Call by Gary A. Braunbeck. Dreams of Winter was my number one favorite out of the bunch. The story of an occult detective who is hunting a vampire that can take the appearance of someone the victim longs for. And Dracula’s Winkee: Bloodsucker Blues was absolutely hilarious!
There were two stories, however, that I was not fond of at all. I did not like Robot Vampire by R.J. Sullivan. A singing, dancing female robot that’s possessed by a Japanese bloodsucking demon just didn’t sit well with me. And I Fuck Your Sunshine by Lucy A. Snyder was incredibly stupid!
This is an “Anti-Twilight” book, and I highly recommend it. Also, if you purchase this book a portion of the money goes to the American Cancer Society, and if there’s anything worse then Twilight it’s cancer!
March 2, 2013
My first time as editor on an anthology. And what an anthology it is! Some of the best writers working in Horror and Dark Fantasy today have each brought their own unique spin to the vampire. Best of all, a portion of the proceeds from the sale of this anthology will go to help fight cancer. If you love your bloodsuckers dark, animalistic, and above all, scary, this is the book for you!
Read
June 1, 2013Are you surprised I am reviewing this? Really? Well than you are new to Kriss’ world because in my world, vampires… THEY DON’T SPARKLE!!! I will hold back because there are tons of new readers this week and promise to keep most of my normal diatribe free of my colorful vocabulary.. promise. On that note, vampires were the first monster my father handed me in a book and my grandmother had me watch with her in a movie and have always terrified me. I mourn for the terror they used to bring into our lives!
What caught my eye when I saw the announcement of this new anthology at the beginning of the year was the title and it’s promise to back the night. Also who the editor would be and later the list of authors I got even more excited. It is now almost June and I have read it through and through more than a few times and fallen a little more in love with it each read.
Some of my favorite comments and quotes from some of these deadly creatures and their hunters:
Oh dear, there are so many more, wonderful sound “bites” and these are just from the a small amount of stories Top stories? I do not want to taint it. I was drawn first because it is an SSP title, second because Michael West as editor, Tim Waggoner whom I adore from his Nikropolis – Michael Richter series and I was really curious what RJ was going to pull with a robot vampire! The rest, all of them have a little for everyone’s “tastes” (I slay me.. oh.. oh hehehe)
If you thought the circus was creepy because of the clowns? Think again! That tent in the back? You may not want to go back there, really I don’t think you should. Oh dear and dancing robots whose AI gets an upgrade? Be careful what you wish for … “When the machines take over” means something completely different in this story! Marrying an ancient terror with an unknown techno wonder(?) who knows what will happen! Sprinkle some humor with a tad bit of a Harry Dresdon and John Taylor flavored hard-boiled fun filled with snark (and I love my snark)! Add some beautiful esoteric and allegorical content plus a story from my neck of the woods and you have a complete meal delivered to you in a 16-course feast which will have you going on a secret run to the hardware store and buying a nightlight, a wooden garden stake and possibly sneaking in the local Catholic church with your Nigene bottle, just in case!
I want to say one thing, just a tiny one. I believe those who have created these sparkly vampires have possibly fallen for what Stoker was trying to get through with in a symbolic nature those gothi writers of old liked to throw at us. Evil doesn’t have to be in your face, ripping you to shreds, hanging you on meat hooks and grabbing your ankles from a storm drain. Evil can be a gentile creature, ask to be invited in and make you blush. Evil can tempt you to bare one of the most intimate parts of your body which protects your lifeline and as a vessel of light (since let’s face it the vampire myth is steeped in Christian mythology), your vessel which is full of blood… blood… *cackling maniacally*
All of this aside, the basic thing we keep forgetting about the vampire myth is this creature has been cursed, denied true death and rest because of some irreconcilable sin or religious taboo. So I will let these glitterfied authors slide, for now, because they have been glamored, after all. In this anthology, the only thing sparkling is the brilliant new shine on an ancient iconic monster.
To wrap this up, vampires were never meant to be moody century old creatures of the night who hang out in high schools and fall in love with jail bait! They are not threatening to become a martyr because they decide to try being Emo when they are about 150 years too old for Emo, by throwing themselves in to the sun where… get this.. OK … THEY SPARKLE!! You like them sparkly? That is fine! But you probably won’t like the true vampire mythology of blood sucking fiends! Awww *patting your glitter covered hair* I bet you cannot even remember what a real vampire is about! You should take a chance and check it out, you can read a sample on Amazon.
Michael West’s introduction to these sixteen stories shares two important things, one of a literary concern and one of a personal one which affects so many in our lives. Michael dedicated the book to Sara and his wife Stephanie. Proceeds from this collection and those to come will be going to support the fight with a donation to the American Cancer Society
“For two of the bravest women I have ever known, Sara and Stephanie. Promises to Keep.”
One lost her battle with breast cancer and his wife, Stephanie has won just in this last year. Having watched his passion being part of the Seventh Star Press group on Facebook (Seventh Star Sound-off, new minions err members welcome plus when you join you get an entry in the giveaway) and on his fan page it is evident how much this master of horror is passionate about all aspects of his life. He wants to bring the kinds of horror we love back into our lives and eradicate the real horror of cancer from it! Way to go Michael, and thank you!
Crap, I promised I was not going to go there.. I know………. I know but Michael said it first, so from the book, and I support this statement:
Michael West edited an incredible collection of amazing tales with something for every real vampire lover. It is time to take back the night, people because these vampires don’t sparkle.
FIVE stars overall (THOSE STARS SPARKLE!)
What caught my eye when I saw the announcement of this new anthology at the beginning of the year was the title and it’s promise to back the night. Also who the editor would be and later the list of authors I got even more excited. It is now almost June and I have read it through and through more than a few times and fallen a little more in love with it each read.
Some of my favorite comments and quotes from some of these deadly creatures and their hunters:
“If your victim didn’t die, you might as well be drinking water.”
“Al liked to wait a bit before disposing of his empties, just in case they turned.”
“My official title is ‘occult detective’ and yes, I wear a trenchcoat and fedora. Some clichés are just too good to mess with.”
“Van Dyck? Van Buren? Van… who knows? Don’t worry… I’ll come up with something.”
“…if Jesus loves him as much as those bumper stickers say he does, then he can shovel that stuff down himself.”
“As the sun rises, the fiend dies before our eyes, its body bound by the twinkling lights of a Christmas Angel. “Huh,” Sarah says, “I guess sometimes vampires do sparkle”
Oh dear, there are so many more, wonderful sound “bites” and these are just from the a small amount of stories Top stories? I do not want to taint it. I was drawn first because it is an SSP title, second because Michael West as editor, Tim Waggoner whom I adore from his Nikropolis – Michael Richter series and I was really curious what RJ was going to pull with a robot vampire! The rest, all of them have a little for everyone’s “tastes” (I slay me.. oh.. oh hehehe)
If you thought the circus was creepy because of the clowns? Think again! That tent in the back? You may not want to go back there, really I don’t think you should. Oh dear and dancing robots whose AI gets an upgrade? Be careful what you wish for … “When the machines take over” means something completely different in this story! Marrying an ancient terror with an unknown techno wonder(?) who knows what will happen! Sprinkle some humor with a tad bit of a Harry Dresdon and John Taylor flavored hard-boiled fun filled with snark (and I love my snark)! Add some beautiful esoteric and allegorical content plus a story from my neck of the woods and you have a complete meal delivered to you in a 16-course feast which will have you going on a secret run to the hardware store and buying a nightlight, a wooden garden stake and possibly sneaking in the local Catholic church with your Nigene bottle, just in case!
I want to say one thing, just a tiny one. I believe those who have created these sparkly vampires have possibly fallen for what Stoker was trying to get through with in a symbolic nature those gothi writers of old liked to throw at us. Evil doesn’t have to be in your face, ripping you to shreds, hanging you on meat hooks and grabbing your ankles from a storm drain. Evil can be a gentile creature, ask to be invited in and make you blush. Evil can tempt you to bare one of the most intimate parts of your body which protects your lifeline and as a vessel of light (since let’s face it the vampire myth is steeped in Christian mythology), your vessel which is full of blood… blood… *cackling maniacally*
All of this aside, the basic thing we keep forgetting about the vampire myth is this creature has been cursed, denied true death and rest because of some irreconcilable sin or religious taboo. So I will let these glitterfied authors slide, for now, because they have been glamored, after all. In this anthology, the only thing sparkling is the brilliant new shine on an ancient iconic monster.
To wrap this up, vampires were never meant to be moody century old creatures of the night who hang out in high schools and fall in love with jail bait! They are not threatening to become a martyr because they decide to try being Emo when they are about 150 years too old for Emo, by throwing themselves in to the sun where… get this.. OK … THEY SPARKLE!! You like them sparkly? That is fine! But you probably won’t like the true vampire mythology of blood sucking fiends! Awww *patting your glitter covered hair* I bet you cannot even remember what a real vampire is about! You should take a chance and check it out, you can read a sample on Amazon.
Michael West’s introduction to these sixteen stories shares two important things, one of a literary concern and one of a personal one which affects so many in our lives. Michael dedicated the book to Sara and his wife Stephanie. Proceeds from this collection and those to come will be going to support the fight with a donation to the American Cancer Society
“For two of the bravest women I have ever known, Sara and Stephanie. Promises to Keep.”
One lost her battle with breast cancer and his wife, Stephanie has won just in this last year. Having watched his passion being part of the Seventh Star Press group on Facebook (Seventh Star Sound-off, new minions err members welcome plus when you join you get an entry in the giveaway) and on his fan page it is evident how much this master of horror is passionate about all aspects of his life. He wants to bring the kinds of horror we love back into our lives and eradicate the real horror of cancer from it! Way to go Michael, and thank you!
Crap, I promised I was not going to go there.. I know………. I know but Michael said it first, so from the book, and I support this statement:
“Stephenie Meyer stole this monster from Bram Stoker. We’re stealin’ it back!”
Michael West edited an incredible collection of amazing tales with something for every real vampire lover. It is time to take back the night, people because these vampires don’t sparkle.
FIVE stars overall (THOSE STARS SPARKLE!)
April 13, 2013
See my full review at Bitten By Books: http://bittenbybooks.com/63645/vampir...
Vampires Don’t Sparkle! is a collection of stories that have one thing in common: they all highlight the good old-fashioned vampire. The vampires here are evil, wicked, and glory in all the blood they can. There are no creatures that regret their existence, pine after mortals, or limit themselves to subsist on animal blood. These are the vampires of old, the vampires that make us humans crave the daylight and fear the darkness.
Vampires Don’t Sparkle! is a collection of stories that have one thing in common: they all highlight the good old-fashioned vampire. The vampires here are evil, wicked, and glory in all the blood they can. There are no creatures that regret their existence, pine after mortals, or limit themselves to subsist on animal blood. These are the vampires of old, the vampires that make us humans crave the daylight and fear the darkness.
June 7, 2013
I thoroughly enjoyed this anthology and the fact that it took the vampire myth back to its horror roots, as well as adding some new flair to these creatures of the night. Not all of these stories are about the vampire that many have come to know and that's a good thing. If you're into vampires and/or looking for something fresh and new in the horror genre, check this one out and I don't think you'll be disappointed. Out of 15 stories, I'm sure there is something for just about anyone.
April 5, 2013
Review to follow...
May 15, 2014
It is an awesome book. Each story was a completely different take on vampires and each one was creepy and scary in its own way.
June 7, 2013
This is a throwback to old school vampires as they should be. They are evil, scary and bloody. I knew Michael West would pick awesome tales and he did not disappoint. All the stories were very readable and enjoyable. My favorites from the group were “Vampire Nation” by Jerry Gordon,“The Excavation” by Stephen Zimmer, “A Soldier’s Story” by Maurice Broaddus and “Robot Vampire” by R. J. Sullivan. This book is not for the Twilight fans this is for fans of horror and of Vampires the way they were meant to be written.
The Introduction of this book was amazing as well not only does Michael West talk about taking Vampires back he also talks about a topic that is obviously very important and personal to him. They have done something amazing with this book not only compiled a great selection of stories but a portion of the proceeds from the sales of the anthology will be going to cancer research institutions. Michael West, the author of highly-acclaimed novels such as Poseidon’s Children, Cinema of Shadows, The Wide Game andSpook House, comments. “It is a very personal cause for me. One year ago, I lost one of my closest friends, author Sara J. Larson, to cancer, and then my wife was diagnosed with the disease last fall. I hope that, with this anthology, we can help win the fight against this real-life horror.”
And as you will see another amazing cover from Seventh Star Press' Matthew Perry.
I highly recommend everyone buy a copy of this anthology.
The Introduction of this book was amazing as well not only does Michael West talk about taking Vampires back he also talks about a topic that is obviously very important and personal to him. They have done something amazing with this book not only compiled a great selection of stories but a portion of the proceeds from the sales of the anthology will be going to cancer research institutions. Michael West, the author of highly-acclaimed novels such as Poseidon’s Children, Cinema of Shadows, The Wide Game andSpook House, comments. “It is a very personal cause for me. One year ago, I lost one of my closest friends, author Sara J. Larson, to cancer, and then my wife was diagnosed with the disease last fall. I hope that, with this anthology, we can help win the fight against this real-life horror.”
And as you will see another amazing cover from Seventh Star Press' Matthew Perry.
I highly recommend everyone buy a copy of this anthology.
November 13, 2014
This anthology of vampire stories is coolly scary and entertaining, ranging from convincingly traditional to jarringly modern, through everything in between. A fantastic old-fashioned and wholly new Curtain Call from Gary Braunbeck leaves readers haunted as the last page closes, while petty thieves and the depressed bereaved share intervening tales with horror, humor, mystery and fun. Two stories that truly stand out for me are Douglas Warrick’s terrifying Rattenkonig, for its haunting sense of fear and evil enchantment, and Tim Wagonner’s What Once Was Flesh for the clever sting in a beautifully constructed tale. Dracula’s Winkee by Gregory Hall offers a thoroughly modern late-night comedy touch, and Lucy Snyder’s unsweet Sunshine is not for the kids or the squeamish. There’s nary a sparkle in sight, but that doesn’t stop these vampires offering plenty of new shocks and awesome horrors to keep readers awake at night and through the day.
Disclosure: I received a free ecopy when I hosted the anthology on my blog, and I’m just sorry it took me so long to get around to reading it.
Disclosure: I received a free ecopy when I hosted the anthology on my blog, and I’m just sorry it took me so long to get around to reading it.
December 12, 2013
I have to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book because it took me back to the roots of where vampire stories started. Back to where vampires are creatures that have no soul and are meant to be feared rather than befriended or fallen in love with.
None of these stories have vampires that mourn their old existence or crave the company of humans to try and remember what life used to be like. Every creature in this book is evil and heartless and meant to be feared, just the way vampires should be.
All of the stories in this collection are short, sweet and to the point. If you are like me and miss the old fashioned vampire stories before these creatures were glorified and turned into mushy human wannabes, you'll enjoy reading this collection as much as I did.
None of these stories have vampires that mourn their old existence or crave the company of humans to try and remember what life used to be like. Every creature in this book is evil and heartless and meant to be feared, just the way vampires should be.
All of the stories in this collection are short, sweet and to the point. If you are like me and miss the old fashioned vampire stories before these creatures were glorified and turned into mushy human wannabes, you'll enjoy reading this collection as much as I did.
May 2, 2013
As with all anthologies, there are going to be stories you enjoy more than others, but the majority of the stories in this book were enjoyable and a refreshing return to actual horror stories involving vampires.
Because some of the proceeds of the book's sales go towards cancer charities, this is definitely a worthy book to add to your collection.
On second thought... maybe not if your name is Bella.
Because some of the proceeds of the book's sales go towards cancer charities, this is definitely a worthy book to add to your collection.
On second thought... maybe not if your name is Bella.
July 31, 2015
Interesting collection of stories, some better than others. One with Bram Stoker taking center stage (literally) in a unique spin, and one about Dracula's "Wee Winkie" that goes beyond "too much information" to "what the hell is this author smoking?"
More of a 3.5 rating than a 4, but we don't have divisions available.
More of a 3.5 rating than a 4, but we don't have divisions available.
November 10, 2013
"Skraeling" by Joel A. Sutherland and "Dracula's Winkee" by Gregory L. Hall were 4 star reads, the rest of stories were 3-star ish. The whole book is definitelly worth reading though.
June 6, 2013
Funny and inventive. And not at all cute or filled with angst and unrequited passion.
October 4, 2025
3 stars.
There was one story about the Luke Box that was exceptional but I already read it elsewhere. Some others may be decent such as the one from the Excavation. However, the rest was just meh. In fact, some were completely incomprehensible.
I would say this book is "passable".
There was one story about the Luke Box that was exceptional but I already read it elsewhere. Some others may be decent such as the one from the Excavation. However, the rest was just meh. In fact, some were completely incomprehensible.
I would say this book is "passable".
May 11, 2023
really more of a high 2.5
The editing was bad at times, and that really detracted from the experience
The editing was bad at times, and that really detracted from the experience
August 18, 2024
Some mostly OK vampire stories. There were a few comical ones in the middle that I thought were dumb.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews