Wow! This is quite the book to make one feel. No, FEEL! So much raw emotion and passion!
Like I'd need telling about obsessive love affairs... And not so obsessive ones.
And the everafters. And the blame game. And everything else.
Magical thinking at its best.
Q:
Wishes are brutal, unforgiving things. They burn your tongue the moment they’re spoken and you can never take them back. They bruise and bake and come back to haunt you. (c)
Q:
I’ve made far too many wishes in my lifetime, the first when I was eight years old. Not the sort of wish for ice cream or a party dress or long blond hair; no. The other sort, the kind that rattles your bones, then sits in the back of your throat, a greedy red toad that chokes you until you say it aloud. The kind that could change your life in an instant, before you have time to wish you could take it back. (c)
Q:
PEOPLE HIDE THEIR TRUEST NATURES. I UNderstood that; I even applauded it. What sort of world would it be if people bled all over the sidewalks, if they wept under trees, smacked whomever they despised, kissed strangers, revealed themselves? Keep a cloak, that was fine, the thing to do; present a disguise, the outside you, the one you want people to believe. (c)
Q:
My sister-in-law was a perfect example: the sunny, near-perfect mathematician who drove through the quiet streets in her nightgown when most good people were in bed, who studied the hundred ways to die. I had already decided I wouldn’t mention the fact that I’d seen her at the book deposit. A liar like all the rest, ready to pretend I didn’t know about the crack in the reality of her life, the dark hour, the library door, the book of sorrow in her hands. (c)
Q:
Now I know the most desperate arguments are always over foolish things. The moment that changes the path of a life is the one that’s invisible, that dissolves like sugar in water. (c)
Q:
Queen of the universe. The girl who thought of no one but herself. (c)
Q:
I knew what my role was in the world. I was the quiet girl at school, the best friend, the one who came in second place. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. I didn’t want to win anything. (с)
Q:
There were words I couldn’t bring myself to say; words like ruin and love and lost made me sick to my stomach. In the end, I gave them up altogether. (c)
Q:
The girl encased in ice facing the mountain. The cold silence that was so clean it didn’t hurt. For me, there was nothing beyond those mountains. Nothing worth going toward. (c)
Q:
I thought he understood I didn’t deserve kindness, or loyalty, or luck. Then one night Jack brought me flowers, a handful of fading daisies he’d picked up at a farm stand, but flowers all the same. That was the end; that was how he ruined everything. (c)
Q:
I suppose I thought if my grandmother kept up her interests, she wouldn’t die; she’d have to stay around to finish the books she was so fond of. (c)
Q:
My life was empty and that was fine. It was what I was used to. (c)
Q:
Before he knew it, he’d be out walking his dog and he wouldn’t even remember us, the strangers who wished the best for him, who wished he would indeed wake up. (c)
Q:
But the logic of fairy tales was that there was no logic: bad things happened to the innocent, children were set out in the woods by their parents, fear walked hand in hand with experience, a wish spoken aloud could make it so. (c)
Q:
...'A Hundred Ways to Die'... Self-help, that’s the section where it belonged. (c)
Q:
He who had no fear, who had wrestled with death and returned far stronger than he’d been before. He wanted his privacy; some people believed a man who told his secrets was a man who lost his strength, and maybe Lazarus Jones was such a man. (c)
Q:
I just made up my mind to forget about the time. What had time ever done for me? (c)
Q:
Could you walk into fear as one person and come back as someone else entirely. (c)
Q:
All I wanted was to be somebody else. Was that asking too much? Was that asking for everything? That’s why I was here. It was already happening, just by driving fifty miles. The person I’d been would have never approached a stranger’s front door and knocked, not once but three times. Once for ice. Twice for snow. Three for the tires on the road. ...
All I knew is that I wanted to fly away. I wanted to be something brand-new. I felt like those human beings in fairy tales who suddenly find themselves in another creature’s skin, trapped in sealskin, horsehide, feathers. (c)
Q:
I should have told him that the worst thing in the world is a wish that comes true. (c)
Q:
“Do you think every person has one defining secret?” ...
“Don’t you think we’re more complex than that? Don’t we all have endless secrets?”
“Little, bullshit ones. Sure. I don’t mean those. Who do you love? Who did you fuck? Everyone has them. I mean one defining secret. The essence of a person. If you figure that out, you figure out the riddle of that particular human being.” (c)
Q:
Since I didn’t believe in love, I soon enough defined my state as a delusionary preoccupation. Obsession. An emotion that should be tied up and taken out with the trash, replaced by more serious, less affecting thoughts. (c)
Q:
If Frances York had known what I was doing, I would have been fired on the spot. What people read revealed so much about them that she considered our card catalog a treasure house of privileged secrets; each card contained the map of an individual’s soul. (c)
Q:
This was a little too personal. I thought we’d speak of the weather, the heat, perhaps the student’s classwork, not the edge of the known world. (c)
Q:
ARE PEOPLE DRAWN TO EACH OTHER BECAUSE OF THE stories they carry inside? At the library I couldn’t help but notice which patrons checked out the same books. They appeared to have nothing in common, but who could tell what a person was truly made of? The unknown, the riddle, the deepest truth. I noticed them all: the ones who’d lost their way, the ones who’d lived their lives in ashes, the ones who had to prove themselves, the ones who, like me, had lost the ability to feel. (c)
Q:
To hell with human beings. I’d always felt safer with stories than with flesh and blood (c)
Q:
The truth was, I didn’t want to interfere. Why should it be up to me to touch anyone’s life, guide someone right rather than left, off the road instead of on? Get involved and you made mistakes. Inevitable. Who knows where your advice, interest, love, might lead? Start and it might be impossible to stop. (c)
Q:
I felt heartbroken and I hadn’t even known I had a heart to break. (c)
Q:
That’s the danger when you come to the middle of the story. You may find out more than you ever wanted to know. (c)
Q:
This had been happiness and we didn’t know it. We walked right past. Had no idea. Step after step. (c)
Q:
... I realized I couldn’t let go; not even of this. I’d been that way all my life, holding on tight. I couldn’t let go of anything.
Except for the things that mattered most. (c)
Q:
No wonder I stayed away from kindness; in some ways it was worse than ill treatment. You could fight against cruelty, tooth and claw, but sympathy engulfed you, took you over, made you aware of all you’d done wrong. (c)
Q:
I hadn’t understood what a mystery a human being was, how many forms love could take. (c)
Q:
“They think you’re calling to them,” my brother said. “They hear it as a love song. That’s why they smack into the engines of planes. They think they’re being seduced by some huge horny bat made out of metal and then—kaboom—crushed, mashed, and decimated.”
Proof of my theory: Love destroyed you. (c)
Q:
A strange woman in the dark, all grown up, standing in the grass, under the moon, beneath a cloud of bats, crying at a funeral for a leaf, a mole, a lost love, an idea. (c)
Q:
How dangerous could a tiny shred of truth be? It had no thorns, no talons, no teeth nor tail nor sting. Truth, sleeping on the other side of what I knew. (c)
Q:
I loved him in a way that was over. A way that was the beginning of something. The sort of love that opened you up for more. (c)
Q:
This would be the moment I would never let go of, even though it caused me the greatest pain. When I was old, when I couldn’t walk or talk or see, I would still have this. (c)
Q:
This thesis was at the very center of chaos theory—if the tiniest of actions reverberated throughout the universe in invisible and unexpected ways, changing the weather and the climate, then anything was possible. (c)
Q:
The best way to die is while you’re living... Even for someone like me. You’d laugh to know how long it’s taken me to figure that out, when all I had to do was cross over the mountains. When I walk to my car in the parking lot on winter nights, I have often noticed bats, a black cloud in the darkening sky. They bring me comfort. They make me feel you’re not so far away. To think, I used to be afraid. I used to run and hide. Now I stand and look upward. I don’t mind what the weather is; the cold has never bothered me. I hope what I’m seeing is the ever after. I hope it’s you. (c)