Life's Operating Manual: With the Fear and Truth Dialogues

by Tom Shadyac

Just about everything today comes with an operating manual—from your computer to your car, from your cell phone to your iPad. Is it possible that Life comes with an operating manual, as well? That’s the simple, but powerful premise of Tom Shadyac’s inspiring and provocative first book. Written as a series of essays and dialogues, we are invited into a conversation that is both challenging and empowering. The question now is, can we discern what is written inside of this operating manual and garner the courage to live in accordance with its precepts.

Genres: Nonfiction, Philosophy, Psychology, Self Help, Spirituality, Personal Development, Education

261 pages, Hardcover

First published May 1, 2013

About the author

Tom Shadyac is the film director behind such blockbuster hits as Ace Venture: Pet Detective; The Nutty Professor; Liar, Liar; Patch Adams; and Bruce Almighty. A recent brush with death compelled Tom to make his latest film, I AM, a documentary that asks some of today’s most profound thinkers two questions: “What’s wrong with the world?” and “What can we do about it?” His latest book, "Life's Operating Manual: With the Fear and Truth Dialogues," comes out on May 1st, 2013.

Reviews

[Andy Nieradko · Rating 5 out of 5]

You definitely want to read this book. Life's Operating Manual is so engaging I read it in one sitting. I'm finding it hard not to gush over this one, it really grabbed me and wouldn't let go. Mr. Shadyac makes an incredible argument that competition is not our natural state. If we were hardwired for fighting, then he points out, our systems would flourish under those conditions. Of course the opposite is true, and stress is the number one killer of modern man. We never truly own anything, so why do we strive so hard to get more and more? To lead a simpler, more compassionate life makes a lot more sense than the direction most of us are heading. The fear/truth dialogue technique at the end of each chapter is pretty darn cool. It's an amazing way of taking each idea further, and bouncing it back and forth, while viewing it from every possible angle. I first heard of Tom Shadyac when he was a guest on my favorite internet radio show, Whitley Strieber's Dreamland (http://www.unknowncountry.com). That interview led me to see his film "I Am", which was absolutely brilliant. This book goes much deeper into his philosophy, and his amazing story of how he went from directing blockbuster motion pictures to finding true happiness. Even though I have slightly differing views on God and "The Secret", I have to say this book blew me away. I received this book for free from Hay House Publishing for review purposes.

[Eric Fadden · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted so badly to like this book. In the end, while I like the concept I just couldn't take any more of his writing and wound up abandoning it. I understand what he's trying to do and say - the world is pretty backwards these days and there are things that people can do in their everyday lives to make it a better place. But the problem is that, while being incredibly descriptive of the solutions and their idealistic results, he offers no methods for getting to those solutions. The things he talks about are a complete paradigm shift; things that would turn key concepts of everyday life on their head. But, the question is not how do we get there - the question should be "how do we lead people to it". To talk about the ideal with no solution comes off as whiny and, frankly, it's easy to tell people about "how it should be" when you've made millions of dollars. The reality for most people, however, is quite different.

And then there are the dialogues. I don't even know where to start.

So, in the end, great concept but the execution just didn't do anything for me. I'm down with what he's saying but I just really couldn't stand how he was saying it.

[Joyce · Rating 5 out of 5]

I saw Tom Shadyac recently on "Real Time with Bill Maher". I was so impressed with him that I ordered his book.

Wow!!!! This book, along with several others I am reading, gives me hope for the future of the world and humankind.

There is, underneath or behind the scenes, an entirely different world of thought and energy other than that which is shown day to day on TV, movies, radio, newspapers, etc. I believe as Shadyac does that human beings are wired for goodness, empathy, compassion and caring. The Truth is the real spiritual movement that continues and is buried by all the noise in our world today.


This is an absolute must read if you want to see that there is hope.

I have had many of these same thoughts for years, but buried them because they just got laughed at as ridiculous, especially in corporate America.
Now I feel validated, that other people think this way too. Cooperation instead of competition. Caring instead of punishment for failing to make it in the world.

I wish I could give this book 10 stars.

[Malin Gisela · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was difficult for me to rate because I really enjoyed some chapters while others fell a bit flat. Tom is genuinely passionate about the subject and I recognise the energy, that need to be part of the change, that I felt too almost instantly as I picked up Ishmael. A lot of his ideas in this book are based on that book and you can tell. I enjoyed the chapter on education a lot and his thoughts on inviting and facing pain and loss as a part of finding happiness.

What took away from the experience for me was the constant references to God. As an atheist I found that aspect repetitive and not at all necessary. The subject itself and the ideas to me are about so much more than religion. The religious aspect was distracting if anything.

[Leroy Seat · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had not known the author's name until watching his 2011 documentary film (DVD) "I AM," and I read this book because of being favorably impressed by the film.

Like the movie, this book contains some questionable theology, it seems to me, but it also has a lot of good, helpful material. It is certainly a book that should feed people who are "spiritual but not religious."

In the past I had seen two films directed by Shadyac: "Patch Adams" and "Bruce Almighty," and about an hour ago my wife finished watching his "Liar, Liar." Earlier today I had just read, "In 1996, the day after the opening of 'Liar, Liar,' I traded the media madness of our movie's release for the temporary solitude of Gethsemani, Thomas Merton's Trappist monastery in the tranquil hills of Kentucky" (p. 226).

One of the main themes of the book is the need for simplifying one's lifestyle and moving toward equality and cooperation. For example, Shadyac writes, “Tremendous wealth is routinely built on the backs of others; on the labor of others that is undervalued, underappreciated, and underrewarded” (p. 131). And he suggests that that “downsizing in square footage could lead to upsizing in well-being” (p. 217).

Even though there are problems with some of the ideas presented in this book, it is one that most people should be able to read with considerable benefit.

[J. Chamberlain · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the good fortune to work with Tom Shadyak on the film "Patch Adams." It was a wonderful experience. Tom's book, "Life's Operating Manual," was outstanding. In fact, I'm about to read it again. There aren't enough stars to rate Tom's work. After you've read Tom's book and "I'm OK, You're a Pain in the Ass ...a love story" and "Life Doing It's Thing," by J. Michael Chamberlain, I recommend adding these wonderful books to your list:
(1) "A Curious Mind" by Brian Grazer and Charles Fishman.
(2) "Yes Please" by Amy Poehler.
(3) "Life is a Gift" by Tony Bennett.
(4) "The Audacity of Hope" by Barack Obama.
(5) "The Tao of Willie" by Willie Nelson.
(6) "There's a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem" by Wayne W. Dyer.
(7) "I Must Say" by Martin Short.

[Sandra Lederman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life- changing
Really wonder if we could get critical mass!

[Jill · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is one of those books that the star rating is not a good scale for my opinion. The essays themselves were overall well written. Personally, I did not like the fear/truth dialogues. I understand the writer was showing us his human side and how we all have inner monologue arguments, but I started skimming through those.

I was disappointed but had set myself up for expecting more of Shadyac's decision to sell his mansions and move to a trailer park, but in reality, that was my own anticipation of expecting this to be more autobiographical, and I realize that I need to watch I AM and/or interviews of Shadyac to get his story and insights.

To his own point, it is fair that I do not completely agree and am entitled to my own opinions. I agree that we all need to find our own peace and happiness and live our lives NOW, not constantly thinking things will get better by being monetarily wealthier. I have very mixed feelings about him not wanting people to be competitive, and not giving trophies for the best in class. While I 100% see the view of how damaging this can be, pushing children/adults to be better makes them want to improve if it is something they are passionate about. Sometimes eustress is very productive, but I do see the point of putting too much pressure and expectations and raising the bar being detrimental to one's psyche.

I don't regret reading this book, but I did not take a lot from it. Basically, he's saying life is complicated, we all need to go back to our childhood and find the simple things that make us happy and find our own passions and live them in the moment, not constantly thinking, "It will get better when..." Life is too short to not live it to it's full potential now, and hope things get better.

[Tim Larison · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a complementary copy of this book from Hay House for review purposes. The opinions are completely my own based on my experience.

Tom Shadyac had it made by conventional standards. A successful Hollywood director whose films had grossed nearly two billion, Shadyac led a life of luxury and fame. “I flew privately everywhere and anywhere I pleased. I bought expensive houses, antiques, and old masters’ paintings at Sotheby’s auctions, and paid tens of thousands of dollars for authentic Persian rugs,” he recalls. Then a near fatal bike accident caused him to reevaluate his priorities and human nature in general. Shadyac shares his insights in his new book, Life’s Operating Manual, a worthy followup to his “I Am” documentary on a similar theme.

“Our culture keeps us so busy counting money and material possessions, focusing our attention on status symbols and skewed definitions of success, that our own happiness, anchored in family, community, creativity, simplicity, and service – is passing us by,” Shayac writes. In Life’s Operating Manual Shayac contends that people are basically good, that cooperation, not competition, is the natural state in the animal world, and that our current society is out of alignment with these fundamental truths. This stance will no doubt draw criticism. Shayac addresses the naysayers in a creative way through a series of “fear” and “truth” dialogs at the end of each chapter. For example, this exchange is included after a chapter on cooperation:

“FEAR: Ah, yes. Just what the world needs, another socialist who wishes to redistribute wealth.

TRUTH: I do not wish to redistribute wealth; I wish to redefine it. When people understand that true wealth is found not in the accumulation of things, but in the advancement of love, wealth will redistribute itself.”

I thought the fear/truth dialogs were effective in summarizing the main points of each chapter while answering any doubts a skeptical reader may have.

I also liked Shadyac’s message to all of us of charging what we need for our services, earning a fair return, without getting as much as we can. “Whether in the grocery or garment industry, in education or entertainment, we are all encouraged, even expected, to charge the highest price for a good or service the market will bear,” he writes. I was moved by Shadyac’s example of St Judes Children’s Research Hospital as an organization that doesn’t overcharge and exists to genuinely serve humanity. “No cancer-stricken child should be denied treatment, regardless of ability to pay,” is the hospital’s motto.

“Society’s so screwed up because we’re so screwed up,” the author writes. “But what if this story about our inherent defects is just that – a story? What if we are actually good in our nature, divinely designed so, hardwired to help and to love?” Is it realistic to expect society to change from a competitive “me first” attitude to the utopia Shadyac envisions? Perhaps not. If the change Shadyac hopes for is to become a reality, it will happen one person at a time. Reading Life’s Operating Manual caused me to reevaluate my priorities, and I think it will do the same for you.

[John Kaufmann · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mildly interesting. The author pours out his personal philosophy in these pages. I have no quarrel with his philosophy - there's nothing I fundamentally disagree with, though I might add some stuff. And I hate to be too critical or judgmental - Mr. Shadyac looks to be a serious, thoughtful, good person, and he has undoubtedly poured his heart and soul into these pages. Nonetheless, there didn't seem to be anything new here - no new or unique insights, no new or unique synthesis of ideas. It was mostly a reiteration of stuff I've read or thought before - it is our separation from nature and our subsequent interest in individual profit that is at the root of most of our problems, and recognizing our oneness with nature and with each other is our way back to wholeness. Shadyac even traces the roots of our problem to the beginning of agriculture, citing Daniel Quinn's Ishmael, but didn't add anything to that interpretation.

[Kelvin · Rating 4 out of 5]

(NOTE: I received this book from the Goodreads giveaways.)

Sometimes you hear something that you have heard before, and then it clicks. Mr Shadyac reminds us in this book that life was not meant to be complicated by the material things that we strive after, but to be simplified by love and authenticity and simplicity.

The essays in this book are short and inviting. Mr Shadyac shares some wonderful stories to illustrate his points. His writing is passionate and alive. The dialogues between fear and truth, while sometimes cheesy, present good arguments for the points Mr Shadyac makes throughout. Mr Shadyac pulls from a variety of spiritual traditions to remind us that truth is eternal and universal, even when we don't recognize the clothes it is wearing.

Overall, nothing new is said. But this is readily admitted by the author. We don't always need to learn something new, we just need to realize how important the old stuff is.

[Peggy Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a long-time admirer of Tom Shadyac's films, I had been anticipating the arrival of 'Life's Operating Manual with the Fear and Truth Dialogues.' Since purchasing the book, I have pored over the pages, re-reading many of them. Masterfully written, this 'operating manual' beautifully describes how we can achieve lives that are rich with an inner depth and are not dependent upon the material successes that are too often sought in our culture. The teachings and beliefs of Mary Oliver, Thomas Merton, Hafiz and Rumi, to name a few, are interwoven with dialogues between Fear and Truth so that we can envision happier and more authentic lives. I love 'Life's Operating Manual' because it is written with compassion by a gifted man who shares his own experience making the shift to a more fulfilling life.

[Jennifer England · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read many, many books in my 57 years. I got the nudge to read this now. And I watched "I AM" a few years back and watched it again with new meaning. I must say that this book and the "I AM" movie is the most heart opening book/documentary I have ever read/watched. And if you see my history of books I follow many many spiritual leaders. My feeling is that this be required reading in our schools. Especially for teachers (which if you look at yourself we all are). Thank God for the bike Tom bought that open his heart and allowed his soul to come through to provide this incredibly amazing healing book and be inspired to make the movie "I AM". I am now forever touched by this and looking through a different view of our world and all those in it. Thank you Tom!!!!! And I love the movies you have directed. My favorite being Patch Adams.

[Jilles · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have watched the news recently and see the craziness, corruption and violence everywhere in the world, and you are looking for a new way of looking at these things this is the book for you. I call it spirituality from the outside in. Shadyac is looking at all the problems of society and sees this as an outcome of the disconnect from ourselves. An amazing book from a Hollywood director you never expected.

[Heidi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This might just be the book that changes how I act in the world. The idea expressed in this book is so simple, yet so lost on mankind. Thank you Tom Shadyac for reminding me of who I am. This book hooked me and I am certain that it will never let go. It connected the head back to the heart; where we all need to be.

[Roy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a wonderfully wise book. I would also say brave but I suspect that author has long stopped thinking or caring about such terms. Instead this book is a gift which, with every reader, benefits us all.

[Louis Spirito · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this as part of the writer's Malibu book giveaway and so glad I did. Funny, insightful and provoking, the book challenges us to re-examine the way we live and love in the world, to challenge everything in the light of greed vs. need.

[Jim · Rating 2 out of 5]

There are some good stories and parallels drawn to the meaning and importance of life in this book. There are some good points in the book, a strong introduction, and then the book became boring and preachy. I would give it 2.5 stars and say the first 20 or so pages are worth reading.

[Claudia · Rating 2 out of 5]

I would have liked this book much better without the annoying "dialogues" throughout. The message was a great one, but the dialogues broke it up.

[Sandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

My 23 year old son ordered this book and left it laying around. It was meant to be! It is amazing, met my needs for this life-changing time period for me.

[George · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book helped to give me courage to integrate my spirituality more into my business.

[Virginia Bryant]

the title is off putting- the juice is in the subtitle "fear and truth dialogues". This is about the neccesity and possibility of changing our societal value system to one that works.

[Jimmy Ruff · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is one of those books that, while I liked his concept and I do agree with most if not all of what he is trying to get across, he could have said everything in this book in one chapter.

[Catherine Rubenstein · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fast read with provocative slant. There's a lot to unpack in this little book and would be fun to use as an icebreaker at a dinner party.

[Socrate · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sunt un povestitor, regizor de film de mai bine de douăzeci și cinci de ani, așa că permiteți-mi să încep cu o poveste... În luna iunie a anului 1998, după ce am încheiat turnarea filmului „Mincinosul mincinoșilor“, eu, Jim Carrey și încă un prieten ne-am decis să ne îndreptăm spre Alaska să respirăm un pic de aer curat, să ne desfătăm cu frumusețea naturii și să vorbim despre viață, iubire și despre sensul a tot și a toate. La câteva zile după începutul aventurii noastre, pe când zburam
la mare înălțime pe deasupra Munților Chugach, pilotul nostru a primit instrucțiuni prin radio cum că trebuia să livreze benzină la vreo douăzeci de excursioniști eșuați pe un ghețar din apropiere. Atunci îmi veni ideea: „Hei, Jim, ce-ar fi să faci tu livrarea?“ Într-o fracțiune de secundă, Jim își dădu seama de potențialul nostim al acestui scenariu. Vedeți voi, acolo unde ne aflam noi era o zonă mai mult decât izolată. Cabana noastră, de exemplu, se afla la peste trei sute de kilometri de un
drum asfaltat. Ești norocos să vezi pe cineva pe acolo, darămite pe Ace Ventura livrând benzină. Dar exact asta urma să se petreacă și, când pilotul nostru își dădu acordul, eram aprinși de nerăbdare.
Nu peste mult timp am aterizat la vreo șaptezeci de metri de excursioniști. Jim a coborât și se îndrepta cu canistra de benzină spre grupul care nu bănuia nimic. Apoi ridică sus canistra și declamă cu vocea personajului Ace Ventura, „Salut, sunt Jim Carrey! Am auzit că aveți nevoie de niște benzină!“ N-o să uit niciodată gurile căscate de mirare ale celor douăzeci de excursioniști, complet surprinși. Jim lăsă jos canistra, apoi adăugă: „Acuși vine și Tom Cruise cu niște batoane energizante!“ Cu un gest teatral se răsuci pe călcâie și se întoarse la avion. Și cu asta, ne-am luat zborul, râzând ca nebunii de fețele uluite ale excursioniștilor, pe care înghețase expresia unanimă care spunea: Jim Carrey era ultima persoană la care te-ai putea aștepta să îți aducă benzină pe un ghețar din pustietatea Alaskăi! Pe când scriu acestea, mă simt un pic de parcă eu aș fi Jim, iar voi, probabil, sunteți excursioniștii care nu bănuiesc nimic. Sunt ultima persoană la care vă așteptați să vă transmită un mesaj despre cum să îndreptați o lume care a luat-o pe căi greșite. La urma urmelor, în ochii acelei lumi, eu nu sunt decât un regizor de comedii - Ace Ventura, Detectivul lu´ pește, Profesorul trăsnit, Mincinosul mincinoșilor, Patch Adams, Dumnezeu pentru o zi, Evan Atotputernicul - lucru care mă face să fiu o sursă improbabilă pentru conținutul acestei cărți. La fel de improbabil și pentru mine: a fost nevoie de o experiență la granița morții pentru a-mi da curajul de a îmi împărtăși povestea, mai întâi în documentarul Eu sunt și acum aici, în această carte.

[toxygen · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book starts with giving you hope of changing your life attitude. The core of the book is mediocre, at best. Reason for that, in my opinion, is lack of (novel) writing skill of the author. He presents some really deep ideas, which touched the thoughts that people think about in their lives, secretly and silently. Alas, it really only touched and not hit these ideas like a hammer that would make them resonate within you. The ending partly explains this mediocrity, but doesn't make it any more enjoyable.

When I started reading this book I did not have high hopes, therefore, I did not end up disappointed. I would recommend reading this book to everyone, nevertheless, as it might resonate with you little better than it did with me...

To conclude, there were some parts that will keep me busy thinking for some time, but I feel like I would appreciate more input on these parts from the author, not only gentle poke.

[Tessa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Easy and fun book, but overal quite a forgettable read. I didn't feel it brought a lot to the table and the text between fear and truth sounded so scripted it pained me to read it at times. I didn't feel like Fear challeneged Truth to it's real potential. Fear can go deep, even manic sometimes, the Fear depicted in this book was like a lost puppy trying to bark a bit, but always accepting the defeat. I do agree that fear is and should not be that powerful, but the text in itself was not convincing. Overal it was a quick read, but not one of my favorites.

[Adam Johnson · Rating 3 out of 5]

There is nothing wrong with the message in this book. In fact, it's a message that needs to be heard. However, its delivery here feels thin, and I can't really put my finger on why. Perhaps it's because I didn't feel that the fear and truth dialogues worked as a mode of exploring the ideas, and these dialogues were a large part of the book.

Again, the message is strong and worth hearing, but I think that others have delivered it in a far more compelling way.

[Jake Heilbrunn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful book filled with meditations on Living a life true to yourself



In a unique truth-fear dialogue, Tom dives into how we can start living radically authentic lives rooted in the truth that is inherently within us, yet often forgotten. He does a great job presenting his ideas philosophically, yet in a way that doesn't feel cheesy or hip-hop. Highly recommend!

[Nathan Patrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book might come across a little hokey for some, but for me, it was tremendously helpful during a very low point in my mental health. I read this many years ago, and it was one of the first times I was introduced to the idea that we're all connected. Shadyac inspired me to follow my bliss.