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Take it as a Compliment(Hardback) - 2015 Edition
After interviewing and receiving anonymous messages from women and men across the globe who have experienced sexual abuse and harassment, Maria Stoian has illustrated their experiences in this powerful collective graphic memoir to express the complex emotions felt by victims of sexual abuse and explore what needs to change.
Hardcover
First published November 21, 2015
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About the author
Maria Stoian
11 books44 followersMaria is an designer/illustrator currently living in Scotland. She likes to screenprint and work digitally and she thinks InDesign is a gift from the gods. She's working as a designer with the cool cats at Hillside Agency.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 329 reviews
April 5, 2016
TRIGGER WARNING- Rape, domestic abuse, sexual assault.
I am so, so spitting enraged right now. I finished reading it last night and I was so angry that I couldn’t find the words. It’s been a little less than 24 hours and I still can’t find the words to explain how ashamed I am to live in a world such as this.
Take It as a Compliment consists of 20 vignettes where men and women share stories of various sexual harassments that have happened to them. These stories are depicted in such a stark and matter of fact way that reading them was very brutal.
Reading this graphic novel was painful and more so because I could relate to it to an extent. We live in a world where even 122 years after the first female suffrage, women are still treated like commodities. I am too horrified to count how many time rape survivors have had been told that they were raped because they were asking for it. If you are an ambitious woman, you are called nasty names. If you aren’t an ambitious woman, you are still called nasty names. If you are sexual, you are called a slut, if you are non-sexual, you are called a frigid bitch/prude. Our bodies don’t belong to us.
My parents get worried if I am still out after 8pm because the city is not safe and I might get assaulted or worse, raped. The society expects a girl to take unsolicited advances with a shy smile. Because this is a man’s world. I get so angry when I think about how the movies/books today glorify stalking. If a guy bothers a girl enough number of times, she’ll come around. Eventually.
I had a guy ‘friend’ once tell me that I’d make a great trophy wife. I have had to fend off unwanted advances from another ‘friend’ even after I told him that I wasn’t interested in him. In retrospect, I feel ashamed as I let it carry on for months because I felt guilty. Because I had flirted with him this one time. I thought I was asking for it. That’s how the society has raised me.
Marital rape is still not punishable in India. Being catcalled is a normal occurrence.
Sexual violence doesn’t know gender. Male rape is NOT a myth. It’s awful how their experiences are not paid attention to and the men are told to suck it up or grow a pair.
Back in 2009 when I was living in Patna, I was out with my mum shopping. It was around 5 in the evening, the sun was still out. It was a couple of days before Christmas. I was wearing a sweater underneath an unzipped orange jacket.
We were walking on the pavement. It wasn’t that crowded. A man passed us. He must have been in his mid 20’s. I was still talking to mum when I felt his hand touch my breasts. I was too shocked to do anything except keep walking. I was only able to tell mum about it when we reached home. I remember her being so angry and asking me why I didn’t tell her when it had happened. She said she’d have beaten him.
It doesn't matter that I wasn't dressed provocatively (although, that is never a valid argument.) It doesn't matter that I was out with a family member. In daylight. Sexual assault is NOT a victim's fault.
ARC provided by Netgalley in exchange of an honest review.
I am so, so spitting enraged right now. I finished reading it last night and I was so angry that I couldn’t find the words. It’s been a little less than 24 hours and I still can’t find the words to explain how ashamed I am to live in a world such as this.
Take It as a Compliment consists of 20 vignettes where men and women share stories of various sexual harassments that have happened to them. These stories are depicted in such a stark and matter of fact way that reading them was very brutal.
Reading this graphic novel was painful and more so because I could relate to it to an extent. We live in a world where even 122 years after the first female suffrage, women are still treated like commodities. I am too horrified to count how many time rape survivors have had been told that they were raped because they were asking for it. If you are an ambitious woman, you are called nasty names. If you aren’t an ambitious woman, you are still called nasty names. If you are sexual, you are called a slut, if you are non-sexual, you are called a frigid bitch/prude. Our bodies don’t belong to us.
My parents get worried if I am still out after 8pm because the city is not safe and I might get assaulted or worse, raped. The society expects a girl to take unsolicited advances with a shy smile. Because this is a man’s world. I get so angry when I think about how the movies/books today glorify stalking. If a guy bothers a girl enough number of times, she’ll come around. Eventually.
I had a guy ‘friend’ once tell me that I’d make a great trophy wife. I have had to fend off unwanted advances from another ‘friend’ even after I told him that I wasn’t interested in him. In retrospect, I feel ashamed as I let it carry on for months because I felt guilty. Because I had flirted with him this one time. I thought I was asking for it. That’s how the society has raised me.
Marital rape is still not punishable in India. Being catcalled is a normal occurrence.
Sexual violence doesn’t know gender. Male rape is NOT a myth. It’s awful how their experiences are not paid attention to and the men are told to suck it up or grow a pair.
Back in 2009 when I was living in Patna, I was out with my mum shopping. It was around 5 in the evening, the sun was still out. It was a couple of days before Christmas. I was wearing a sweater underneath an unzipped orange jacket.
We were walking on the pavement. It wasn’t that crowded. A man passed us. He must have been in his mid 20’s. I was still talking to mum when I felt his hand touch my breasts. I was too shocked to do anything except keep walking. I was only able to tell mum about it when we reached home. I remember her being so angry and asking me why I didn’t tell her when it had happened. She said she’d have beaten him.
It doesn't matter that I wasn't dressed provocatively (although, that is never a valid argument.) It doesn't matter that I was out with a family member. In daylight. Sexual assault is NOT a victim's fault.
ARC provided by Netgalley in exchange of an honest review.
August 2, 2017
Tengo que decir que llegué a este libro por el simple hecho de que amo las novelas gráficas, y comúnmente las leo para salir de una cruda literaria. No llegue a el porque me interesara leer sobre el tema, siendo plenamente sincero, lo primero que pensé cuando vi este libro fue: "Que bueno que le están dando voz a quienes lo necesitan" pero después, por cierta incredulidad que a veces tengo, pensé de mala gana: "Supongo que es otro libro feminista". Pasaron días y no me quería quedar con la espinita de pensar eso y lo conseguí. Así que después de leerlo agradezco haber tomado esa decisión.
La novela gráfica nos cuenta 20 experiencias anónimas sobre el acoso sexual, verbal o físico. Pero no son sólo experiencias de mujeres, este libro te recuerda que cualquier persona, en cualquier situación y de parte de cualquier otra persona, puede recibir acoso.
Son historias de Mujeres y hombres que me hicieron darme cuenta de la importancia que es mostrar obras como esta en escuelas, en talleres o incluso con tu grupo de amigos. Para mostrarle al mundo de lo que nosotros mismos somos capaces de hacernos.
Sin duda "Esto no es un piropo" me dio más de lo que esperaba, y lo agradezco.
La novela gráfica nos cuenta 20 experiencias anónimas sobre el acoso sexual, verbal o físico. Pero no son sólo experiencias de mujeres, este libro te recuerda que cualquier persona, en cualquier situación y de parte de cualquier otra persona, puede recibir acoso.
Son historias de Mujeres y hombres que me hicieron darme cuenta de la importancia que es mostrar obras como esta en escuelas, en talleres o incluso con tu grupo de amigos. Para mostrarle al mundo de lo que nosotros mismos somos capaces de hacernos.
Sin duda "Esto no es un piropo" me dio más de lo que esperaba, y lo agradezco.
March 7, 2016
Reading this book has been quite a traumatic experience, as the description says "Each experience is brought to life by Maria Stoian's exceptional artwork”. If you don’t even have a slightest idea of what the experience here might refer to, let me tell you what it is…
+
Little girl in a big bad world!*
There was this lone, little girl in a crowded bus on her way back home. Not all too lone. She had her innocent, candy-chewing companions in that sweltering, metallic fun ride. But, little did she know that it would no longer remain as fun but a tainted memory from her childhood. Even after a decade or so, the mere sight of bus passing-by would bring back to her the haunting incident which she was about to encounter.
It was an usual day. But what happened is not just unusual. Inhumane and sadistic. She would always remember the ugly perverted face of the old guy who touched her. No candy tastes sweet to her, anymore; No friend cheers her, even if they try everything. Should she tell her mom? How does the old guy sleep at night doing heinous thing like this? She was a kid and she was happy. But, look what happened now! She has to become achingly aware$ of the fact the world is not just changing but corrupted as fcuk (pardon my French!).
She looked for her help with tears welled up in her eyes, but there was none. People were talking politics, movies, sports, and what-nots! She was forgotten; ignored. The old man moved on. She thought that nobody saw it. But there was another man concocting something similar for his future filthy pleasures! How will she face the world now? Who can she rely on? Family and Friends – They can’t be always there for her. Can they? Society – Really?
She brought her backpack to her front and tried to smile at them who didn’t see what happened!
-
Coming back to the book, it has vivid pictures of real life experiences ranging from harassment to abuse! It is hard not to think of some similar experience when you read these experiences. Well it doesn’t stop there, it talks about what measures need to be taken after the incident. You heard me! It is an incident. A mere incident. To be forgotten soon, like yesterday’s news paper. But the newspaper accumulates the dust; gets bedraggled in some unused place; in worst case, gets shredded or crumpled and thrown away!
My six senses stop making sense when I think how someone can do this to someone. It is all about POWER, I once thought. No Ladies and gentlemen. It is our indifference; our lethargy. Whatever happened to the public morality! Can the good old lady say now ”Whatever happens happens for good”?
Some might argue that education is the key. But, No! Not to this lock. If it is education, why do we have anti-sexual harassment policies in even top companies? Am I digressing? Some says “values” with which we have to imbue the young lives. Are the parents of perverts (Pardon my poor choice of words) not doing their duty then?
Well, does this book provide any solution to this age-old problem? No. But, it might help the ill-fated individuals.
____________________________________
* This story is from my personal experience which remains indelible and painful in my memory. The old guy ran away! Apparently he had it all figured and our efforts ended in vain. Hope she is alright now!
$ These words are borrowed from my beautiful big sis Sabah!
It is not that I don’t have any stories now. Just my preference.
+
Little girl in a big bad world!*
There was this lone, little girl in a crowded bus on her way back home. Not all too lone. She had her innocent, candy-chewing companions in that sweltering, metallic fun ride. But, little did she know that it would no longer remain as fun but a tainted memory from her childhood. Even after a decade or so, the mere sight of bus passing-by would bring back to her the haunting incident which she was about to encounter.
It was an usual day. But what happened is not just unusual. Inhumane and sadistic. She would always remember the ugly perverted face of the old guy who touched her. No candy tastes sweet to her, anymore; No friend cheers her, even if they try everything. Should she tell her mom? How does the old guy sleep at night doing heinous thing like this? She was a kid and she was happy. But, look what happened now! She has to become achingly aware$ of the fact the world is not just changing but corrupted as fcuk (pardon my French!).
She looked for her help with tears welled up in her eyes, but there was none. People were talking politics, movies, sports, and what-nots! She was forgotten; ignored. The old man moved on. She thought that nobody saw it. But there was another man concocting something similar for his future filthy pleasures! How will she face the world now? Who can she rely on? Family and Friends – They can’t be always there for her. Can they? Society – Really?
She brought her backpack to her front and tried to smile at them who didn’t see what happened!
-
Coming back to the book, it has vivid pictures of real life experiences ranging from harassment to abuse! It is hard not to think of some similar experience when you read these experiences. Well it doesn’t stop there, it talks about what measures need to be taken after the incident. You heard me! It is an incident. A mere incident. To be forgotten soon, like yesterday’s news paper. But the newspaper accumulates the dust; gets bedraggled in some unused place; in worst case, gets shredded or crumpled and thrown away!
My six senses stop making sense when I think how someone can do this to someone. It is all about POWER, I once thought. No Ladies and gentlemen. It is our indifference; our lethargy. Whatever happened to the public morality! Can the good old lady say now ”Whatever happens happens for good”?
Some might argue that education is the key. But, No! Not to this lock. If it is education, why do we have anti-sexual harassment policies in even top companies? Am I digressing? Some says “values” with which we have to imbue the young lives. Are the parents of perverts (Pardon my poor choice of words) not doing their duty then?
Well, does this book provide any solution to this age-old problem? No. But, it might help the ill-fated individuals.
____________________________________
* This story is from my personal experience which remains indelible and painful in my memory. The old guy ran away! Apparently he had it all figured and our efforts ended in vain. Hope she is alright now!
$ These words are borrowed from my beautiful big sis Sabah!
It is not that I don’t have any stories now. Just my preference.
June 27, 2016
This graphic novel was meant to be one of the Feminist Orchestra book club's reads for July, but as soon as it arrived in the post I knew I had to read it straight away. This is a powerful depiction of sexism, sexual harassment, and sexual assault that thankfully covers both sexes, and one that I strongly believe should be required reading for all young people. The stories are heartbreaking, shocking, and arresting, but told in a very accessible way. Although the art style was not necessarily my favourite, I felt that the visual element of the stories provided even more of an impact than if it had just been words on a page. Essential reading.
Read
May 3, 2024Despite the title, this is not a book advocating for men and women to take sexual assault as a compliment, instead it shows very clearly that any form of putting undesired hands on someone else is a crime, and should be treated as one. It is a form of fighting the rape culture placed upon us, and why we should all join to destroy it. It might be their story now, but it could soon be ours. Statistically, it is possible, and I want to avoid other people going through similar circumstances. This is a way for the conversation to continue, and it NEEDS to continue.
Rest of review here: https://booksandstuff1357.wordpress.c...
Rest of review here: https://booksandstuff1357.wordpress.c...
May 11, 2017
A series of (22) stories by Stoian based on stories she gathered from a variety of sources about experiences (mostly) women have had pertaining to sexual violence, public sexual harassment, domestic abuse and assault. The stories are often very minimal, short, just getting at moments ranging from public groping to rape, in an emotional range of discomfort to full-on rage. Usually it is guy who think that they can do anything they want with women and girls, so since I have boys I am going to share some of these vignettes with them. I thought it was sometimes deeply unsettling to read, but somehow still inviting because of the sensitive artistic shapings of Stoian. And important book for everyone to read. Some of it is about how easily we take advantage of someone's vulnerabilities (or, being young, naive, vulnerable in various ways) are taken advantage of.
Check out a couple sample chapters here.
http://cargocollective.com/takeitasac...
Check out a couple sample chapters here.
http://cargocollective.com/takeitasac...
February 10, 2016
Take It as a Compliment is a graphic novel featuring several short stories reflecting real life sexual abuse/harassment, domestic and child abuse. It is disturbing and you should be prepared before reading it.
I am shocked to realize one of the scenarios feels all too familiar. In my teens I was walking on the street and a boy on a bicycle passing by smacked my behind. I turned, but he was already riding away, looking back with a smile on his face. I didn't know what to do at the moment and I felt ashamed because of what happened and most of all because people saw and were looking at me.
Anyway, that's one of the soft scenarios in the comic. There are far worse things presented in Take It as a Compliment.
I recommend this book to all the adults out there. And I think teens should read it, too. Girls and boys should be aware of the danger some monsters (they are beyond being called people) pose. And they should know that it's not all right or normal. Nobody deserves to be abused or harassed.
*I thank Maria Stoian, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, and Netgalley for this copy in exchange for an honest review.
I am shocked to realize one of the scenarios feels all too familiar. In my teens I was walking on the street and a boy on a bicycle passing by smacked my behind. I turned, but he was already riding away, looking back with a smile on his face. I didn't know what to do at the moment and I felt ashamed because of what happened and most of all because people saw and were looking at me.
Anyway, that's one of the soft scenarios in the comic. There are far worse things presented in Take It as a Compliment.
I recommend this book to all the adults out there. And I think teens should read it, too. Girls and boys should be aware of the danger some monsters (they are beyond being called people) pose. And they should know that it's not all right or normal. Nobody deserves to be abused or harassed.
*I thank Maria Stoian, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, and Netgalley for this copy in exchange for an honest review.
February 16, 2016
Books like this are SO important. I have had so many similar experiences to the ones in this book and the amount of times I've been told things like "he was only joking", "well, what were you wearing?" "Sure he was drunk" and "relax, don't be so uptight" etc is unbelievable. If someone does something that makes you uncomfortable you shouldn't have to fight to get people to believe that it wasn't your fault. If a guy or girl does something that makes you uncomfortable and you tell them to stop and they don't, it is inexcusable. If they take advantage of you, under any circumstance, it is inexcusable.
This book had some really great examples. I liked how it wasn't just what would be defined as "serious" because sexual harassment happens all the time too. There is nothing that fills me with more panic than being catcalled or sexually harassed. I wish there was more examples in this book because they were all great. I hope Maria Stoian does more books like this because I would definitely read them. I really wish younger me had read something like this and then I would have realised that many things I let happen, wasn't okay. I really hope younger people read this and realise that it's not okay and there is support you can get. I loved the illustrations. They were brilliant.
I would definitely read more from Maria Stoian and I would 100000% recommend this.
*I received an arc in exchange for an honest review.
This book had some really great examples. I liked how it wasn't just what would be defined as "serious" because sexual harassment happens all the time too. There is nothing that fills me with more panic than being catcalled or sexually harassed. I wish there was more examples in this book because they were all great. I hope Maria Stoian does more books like this because I would definitely read them. I really wish younger me had read something like this and then I would have realised that many things I let happen, wasn't okay. I really hope younger people read this and realise that it's not okay and there is support you can get. I loved the illustrations. They were brilliant.
I would definitely read more from Maria Stoian and I would 100000% recommend this.
*I received an arc in exchange for an honest review.
April 13, 2023
Hard to rate this book. The topics of harassment and abuse are important, the presentation here is fragmentary—although presenting 20 different stories, each a few pages, does provide a spectrum of situations.
While most of the stories are men being complete jerks towards females, there are a few instances where women are the abusers or relentless harassers, as well as some male/male situations. In fact the back cover quote ("I think maybe it was a bit my fault. Maybe I am too nice.") is from a male hitchhiker and male driver offering a ride. They don't speak the same language, so there is "miscommunication." The driver makes a pass, and the hitchhiker says no. Then the hitchhiker "felt stupid for thinking so innocently." To me, this story is at one end of the spectrum of abuse, where a pass is made and rejected, and someone feels uncomfortable.
Unfortunately, many of the other stories skew well towards the other end of the trauma spectrum where saying "no" is ignored. The domestic abuse situations were the most difficult to read, because intimacy and abuse are all wrapped up together into one painful bundle.
The range of stories, although each is fragmentary, does provoke the reader to think about a variety of situations. Many situations involve alcohol. The advice at the end does not mention the dangers of drugs or alcohol, so let me repeat safety advice often given to gay men who must navigate a hostile dangerous world: travel in groups, be aware of your surroundings, and don't get drunk.
While most of the stories are men being complete jerks towards females, there are a few instances where women are the abusers or relentless harassers, as well as some male/male situations. In fact the back cover quote ("I think maybe it was a bit my fault. Maybe I am too nice.") is from a male hitchhiker and male driver offering a ride. They don't speak the same language, so there is "miscommunication." The driver makes a pass, and the hitchhiker says no. Then the hitchhiker "felt stupid for thinking so innocently." To me, this story is at one end of the spectrum of abuse, where a pass is made and rejected, and someone feels uncomfortable.
Unfortunately, many of the other stories skew well towards the other end of the trauma spectrum where saying "no" is ignored. The domestic abuse situations were the most difficult to read, because intimacy and abuse are all wrapped up together into one painful bundle.
The range of stories, although each is fragmentary, does provoke the reader to think about a variety of situations. Many situations involve alcohol. The advice at the end does not mention the dangers of drugs or alcohol, so let me repeat safety advice often given to gay men who must navigate a hostile dangerous world: travel in groups, be aware of your surroundings, and don't get drunk.
June 28, 2017
Una novela gráfica pequeña pero con gran impacto.
October 29, 2015
At first, I was hesitant to request this graphic novel on NetGalley because I know it’d be disturbing and uncomfortable to read. And obviously, this graphic novel turns out to be NOT AN EASY READ.
First of all, these are not made up stories. They are REAL, and they were mostly submitted online anonymously. We are all aware that all these acts happen commonly in real life, and it saddens me to even just think about it. These acts are ugly and gross. And we shouldn’t turn a blind eye and act like nothing has happened.
AND THAT’S WHY THIS GRAPHIC NOVEL IS SO IMPORTANT.
These days, I’ve seen a lot of comments saying that all these acts happened because of the victim’s faults. People blame the victims because they are the ones who ‘asked’ for it, because of their appearance, because they wear revealing clothes and let me tells you guys, THESE ACTS ALSO HAPPENED TO PEOPLE WHO COVER THEMSELVES. I’m not telling that it’s okay to wear revealing clothes because honestly it’s not but THE MOST IMPORTANT THING that needs to be changed is people’s mindset. NO ONE IS ASKING TO BE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED. And I’m relieved to know that the author hasn’t focused on female victims only, there is also a story where one man was raped during a blind date.
People should be able to feel safe wherever they go and whoever they are with, when they are walking down the street at night, and when they are with friends, family, and significant others. It’s distressing to know that some people that we trust would betray us and take advantage on us. This shouldn’t be happening. I honestly can’t imagine the impact of these acts has on someone’s life. And guess what, you can’t, until you’ve been through it.
On the other side, the artwork is beautiful and stunning and it is so simple yet so powerful enough to convey the message. The idea of turning stories about sexual harassment, sexual violence, and sexual abuse into graphic novel kind of scares me actually. I want it to look real but at the same time, not to be explicitly illustrated. And I think the illustrations are fine, but bear in mind that some wouldn’t be appropriate for kids. The author also included some advices at the end of the graphic novels, for both victims and people who would want to talk to the victims/people who are aware of the acts.
Again, THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT GRAPHIC NOVEL. And no one should have to go through these things. These are not compliments, at all.
Thank you NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for providing me with an eARC in return for an honest review.
First of all, these are not made up stories. They are REAL, and they were mostly submitted online anonymously. We are all aware that all these acts happen commonly in real life, and it saddens me to even just think about it. These acts are ugly and gross. And we shouldn’t turn a blind eye and act like nothing has happened.
AND THAT’S WHY THIS GRAPHIC NOVEL IS SO IMPORTANT.
These days, I’ve seen a lot of comments saying that all these acts happened because of the victim’s faults. People blame the victims because they are the ones who ‘asked’ for it, because of their appearance, because they wear revealing clothes and let me tells you guys, THESE ACTS ALSO HAPPENED TO PEOPLE WHO COVER THEMSELVES. I’m not telling that it’s okay to wear revealing clothes because honestly it’s not but THE MOST IMPORTANT THING that needs to be changed is people’s mindset. NO ONE IS ASKING TO BE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED. And I’m relieved to know that the author hasn’t focused on female victims only, there is also a story where one man was raped during a blind date.
People should be able to feel safe wherever they go and whoever they are with, when they are walking down the street at night, and when they are with friends, family, and significant others. It’s distressing to know that some people that we trust would betray us and take advantage on us. This shouldn’t be happening. I honestly can’t imagine the impact of these acts has on someone’s life. And guess what, you can’t, until you’ve been through it.
On the other side, the artwork is beautiful and stunning and it is so simple yet so powerful enough to convey the message. The idea of turning stories about sexual harassment, sexual violence, and sexual abuse into graphic novel kind of scares me actually. I want it to look real but at the same time, not to be explicitly illustrated. And I think the illustrations are fine, but bear in mind that some wouldn’t be appropriate for kids. The author also included some advices at the end of the graphic novels, for both victims and people who would want to talk to the victims/people who are aware of the acts.
Again, THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT GRAPHIC NOVEL. And no one should have to go through these things. These are not compliments, at all.
Thank you NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for providing me with an eARC in return for an honest review.
January 11, 2016
(I received an ARC of this title from the publisher via NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review)
Trigger warning: harassment, sexual and physical abuse, rape
Take It as a Compliment is a book about shame and fear and trauma, but mostly shame. About the shame people experience when they are the victims of unwanted sexual attention, the shame of speaking out, the shame of knowing that there is always someone ready to blame victims for their own abuse.
It collects the real stories of real victims of sexual trauma, giving these people a voice to articulate things they have kept hidden. Each of the twenty stories is a different experience, but each comes from the same problematic cultural place that is summed up in the title: unwanted sexual attention as some sort of flattery rather than a violation. Most of the stories are very short, some only a couple of lines, but they are all personal and forceful.
I was initially a little wary of approaching these confessional-style stories in graphic novel form; the art has the potential to make or break the emotional connection to the stories. Too realistic and the visceral disgust makes it difficult to stomach, too cartoonish and it seems like a joke. To her credit, Stoian avoids both extremes. She takes a similar but distinct approach to each story, with most of them rendered in a flat, 2-D style with a highly saturated color palette. The simplicity and deceptively bright veneer performs three distinct functions: 1) it distances the experience just enough to keep readers engaged with something that is profoundly disturbing, 2) it allows the voices of the victims to take the front seat over the art itself, and 3) it offers a juxtaposition between the style and the substance that creates an amplifying dissonance. There are also hints of surrealism that add an extra layer of disorientation and immediacy. The most harrowing of the physical actions that occur are generally off-page or obliquely rendered, but when all the elements are brought together, they are very powerful.
This is not a fun book, as I’m sure should be obvious by now. But it is an important book, another step in an ongoing process to find the courage and the mediums to really discuss the crisis of rape culture and the unnecessary shame associated with being mistreated that so often results in silence.
August 14, 2025
Respeto y apoyo el objetivo del libro, pero siento que le faltó algo más de fuerza. Esta obra está compuesta por 20 microrrelatos en formato gráfico, los cuales tienen como objetivo denunciar distintas situaciones en las que algunas personas, tanto hombres como mujeres, se han visto acosados o han sufrido abusos sexuales.
En total, apenas alcanza las 100 páginas, así que os podréis imaginar lo breve que es cada historia. Por lo que comenta la autora, recibió estos testimonios y decidió difundirlos sin mostrar las identidades de las víctimas porque son situaciones que puede vivir cualquiera en su día a día y sentirse identificado.
Algunas pueden parecer inofensivas, pero hay que ser conscientes que, incluso un simple piropo puede ser desagradable si te lo hacen sin venir a cuento y haciéndote sentir como si fueras un objeto sobre el que babear. Aparte de eso, también se nos enseña que, incluso dentro de una pareja, pueden darse comportamientos en los que se traspasan los límites y que hay cosas del día a día que no deberían estar tan normalizadas. Hay unos relatos más duros que otros, pero me dio la impresión de que solo se ponía el foco en el hecho concreto y no se hacía el suficiente hincapié en el daño que sufrían las víctimas (a nivel emocional y, en ocasiones, también físicamente).
Además, creo que se transmite la idea de que nadie es castigado por comportarse de forma deplorable, lo cual puede acrecentar todavía más el miedo a la hora de denunciar estos actos. Y sí, sé que muchos acosadores o agresores salen impunes, pero no hubiera estado mal lanzar el mensaje de que, en algunos casos, se logra detenerlos.
De las ilustraciones no puedo decir nada negativo, en cada historia queda claro lo que sucede y, aun así, las imágenes no se recrean en detalles morbosos.
Se lee en apenas un par de sentadas y te hace pensar en lo anestesiados que estamos a veces ante determinadas actitudes, pero hubiera sido mejor añadir más texto y que se incidiera mejor en las secuelas de estos hechos.
En total, apenas alcanza las 100 páginas, así que os podréis imaginar lo breve que es cada historia. Por lo que comenta la autora, recibió estos testimonios y decidió difundirlos sin mostrar las identidades de las víctimas porque son situaciones que puede vivir cualquiera en su día a día y sentirse identificado.
Algunas pueden parecer inofensivas, pero hay que ser conscientes que, incluso un simple piropo puede ser desagradable si te lo hacen sin venir a cuento y haciéndote sentir como si fueras un objeto sobre el que babear. Aparte de eso, también se nos enseña que, incluso dentro de una pareja, pueden darse comportamientos en los que se traspasan los límites y que hay cosas del día a día que no deberían estar tan normalizadas. Hay unos relatos más duros que otros, pero me dio la impresión de que solo se ponía el foco en el hecho concreto y no se hacía el suficiente hincapié en el daño que sufrían las víctimas (a nivel emocional y, en ocasiones, también físicamente).
Además, creo que se transmite la idea de que nadie es castigado por comportarse de forma deplorable, lo cual puede acrecentar todavía más el miedo a la hora de denunciar estos actos. Y sí, sé que muchos acosadores o agresores salen impunes, pero no hubiera estado mal lanzar el mensaje de que, en algunos casos, se logra detenerlos.
De las ilustraciones no puedo decir nada negativo, en cada historia queda claro lo que sucede y, aun así, las imágenes no se recrean en detalles morbosos.
Se lee en apenas un par de sentadas y te hace pensar en lo anestesiados que estamos a veces ante determinadas actitudes, pero hubiera sido mejor añadir más texto y que se incidiera mejor en las secuelas de estos hechos.
January 19, 2018
20 historias gráficas, a modo de cómic, que dan a conocer diversos tipos y niveles de acoso sexual. Mujeres, hombres, niños, niñas, en la vía pública, en el trabajo, en la intimidad de una relación, etc. Historias sencillas pero que impactan. No me cabe en la cabeza cómo es posible que existe gente en el mundo que no respete un "no".
June 23, 2017
No sé cómo describir esta novela gráfica. Siento que está mal decir: "me gustó", porque el tema que toca es, para mí, muy fuerte. Las ilustraciones son una maravilla. En esta novela encontraremos los diferentes tipos de acoso y es sorprendente lo enferma que está lo sociedad, en verdad es muy triste. Denle la oportunidad a esta novela, lo recomiendo.
August 3, 2017
Maria Stoian recopiló diversas historias de abuso y las ilustró de forma maravillosa. Muchas de la historias aquí contadas ni siquiera tienen texto pero al verlas inmediatamente las entiendes y te duelen. La selección que hizo Stoian pareciera ser adecuada para que en muchas de ellas nos identifiquemos. Es fuerte y es verdad.
May 17, 2016
Book blurb: Bringing together the voices of males and females of all ages, the stories in this collective graphic memoir reflect real life experiences of sexual abuse, violence and harassment.
What I did not know going into this graphic novel is that it is a collection of experiences, and that each vignette was not fictional, but in fact represented something that actually happened to the people in this collection. That would have been useful information to have at the start of the book instead of the end. Since I did not know that going in, the short vignettes, and changing gender voice was confusing as I thought I was reading a single story.
The art is sketchy and cartoony, and maybe that was a deliberate choice to help offset the violence of the stories themselves. The themes covered in this collection are important ones that affect too many of us, and this might be a useful book for starting a discussion on these difficult topics. I so appreciated the author's efforts in shedding some light on these issues, but the book as a whole lacked a cohesiveness for me, and maybe that was due to the issues I mentioned earlier. It's hard to say I "liked" this one given the subject matter, but this slim volume is worth a read.
What I did not know going into this graphic novel is that it is a collection of experiences, and that each vignette was not fictional, but in fact represented something that actually happened to the people in this collection. That would have been useful information to have at the start of the book instead of the end. Since I did not know that going in, the short vignettes, and changing gender voice was confusing as I thought I was reading a single story.
The art is sketchy and cartoony, and maybe that was a deliberate choice to help offset the violence of the stories themselves. The themes covered in this collection are important ones that affect too many of us, and this might be a useful book for starting a discussion on these difficult topics. I so appreciated the author's efforts in shedding some light on these issues, but the book as a whole lacked a cohesiveness for me, and maybe that was due to the issues I mentioned earlier. It's hard to say I "liked" this one given the subject matter, but this slim volume is worth a read.
November 18, 2015
This comic will make you mad. It will make you sick. It will make you depressed. It will make you vengeful.
If you ever think that you are somehow deserving of abuse, don’t believe it. That is the lie that abusers use to justify their own pathetic lack of empathy. Whether you’re dating or married, sex should always be consensual; anyone who claims there’s an obligation can go fuck themselves.
If any of the experiences in this book feel familiar to you, speak out. You are not weak. Strength comes from telling one’s story. The blame belongs with the perpetrator, not the victim.
The art style here is quite economical, but it is one I’m familiar with. Somehow, the comic format made the stories feel even more accessible. Like most comics, this is a short book that can be read in less than half an hour, but the message is an important one.
Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an eBook copy in exchange or my honest review.
If you ever think that you are somehow deserving of abuse, don’t believe it. That is the lie that abusers use to justify their own pathetic lack of empathy. Whether you’re dating or married, sex should always be consensual; anyone who claims there’s an obligation can go fuck themselves.
If any of the experiences in this book feel familiar to you, speak out. You are not weak. Strength comes from telling one’s story. The blame belongs with the perpetrator, not the victim.
The art style here is quite economical, but it is one I’m familiar with. Somehow, the comic format made the stories feel even more accessible. Like most comics, this is a short book that can be read in less than half an hour, but the message is an important one.
Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an eBook copy in exchange or my honest review.
February 23, 2018
Historias cortas en cómic basadas en hechos reales de acoso o abuso sexual (tanto a hombres como a mujeres, hetero y homosexuales, en su mayoría niños o adolescentes). Las historias son muy breves y presentan el acoso tal cómo sucedió, no hay espacio para las metáforas, aunque sí mucho espacio para las emociones que dejaron estos sucesos por años. Los colores elegidos (vibrantes y dinámicos) son un buen contraste con la mayoría de las historias, que van desde el desconcierto, el absurdo hasta la rabia y la culpa. Muy bueno.
May 12, 2017
The book contains many stories about sexual harassment, abuse and rape. Some of the perpetrators are foreigners and some of them are friends. Most of the times, the victim is a woman.
The stories are both scary and very important to discuss, because it will take much effort to change the attitudes towards women. The book also includes a few stories about men being harassed, which of course should be taken seriously, but it is not as big a structural problem as the sexist structure that somehow seems to almost justify sexual abuse towards women.
The stories are both scary and very important to discuss, because it will take much effort to change the attitudes towards women. The book also includes a few stories about men being harassed, which of course should be taken seriously, but it is not as big a structural problem as the sexist structure that somehow seems to almost justify sexual abuse towards women.
April 20, 2021
This book just makes you lose all hope in human-kind.. because how can people act like this?!
It makes me sick to my stomach and so ANGRY that experiences like the ones mentioned in this comic, are frequently occurring every single day and we're not able to stop them..
It's so frustrating and you feel absolutely helpless.
I can't imagine how difficult it must have been for the survivors in these stories to come forward and talk about their experiences.
—
Tw: Abusive relationship, sexual harassment/assult, rape, child abuse, violence
It makes me sick to my stomach and so ANGRY that experiences like the ones mentioned in this comic, are frequently occurring every single day and we're not able to stop them..
It's so frustrating and you feel absolutely helpless.
I can't imagine how difficult it must have been for the survivors in these stories to come forward and talk about their experiences.
—
Tw: Abusive relationship, sexual harassment/assult, rape, child abuse, violence
March 6, 2022
I liked the variety of the testimonies. The art style complimented the text nicely and the parts with less texts actually provided more information and left a deeper impact.
I think we need more books like this one.
I think we need more books like this one.
February 8, 2018
This took a while to get through, not because it's particularly long or complex, but because I had to keep putting it down and walking away for a bit. Twenty tales of people who, well, basically couldn't take, “No,” for an answer. The stories run from outright rape to more subtle mental games. Most, but not all, feature female protagonists. All were drawn from first person accounts, most submitted online anonymously. Stoian uses a variety of styles and drawing techniques to tell these stories, some as short as a page or two.
The artwork is lovely, even quite striking. The stories themselves can be … harrowing, many of them featuring behavior that makes one ashamed to be a member of the human race. The book could fairly be summed up as “#metoo: The Graphic Novel.” It’s worth reading, although I can't guarantee you'll enjoy the experience.
The artwork is lovely, even quite striking. The stories themselves can be … harrowing, many of them featuring behavior that makes one ashamed to be a member of the human race. The book could fairly be summed up as “#metoo: The Graphic Novel.” It’s worth reading, although I can't guarantee you'll enjoy the experience.
August 15, 2017
RAPE CULTURE IS NOT A MYTH.
And if you are in any doubt whatsoever, then please read this book. It is important.
If you are already aware of our deadly descent into rape culture then please still read this book. Please hear these peoples' stories. This graphic short collection puts together the stories of individuals who have been subject to sexual harassment, abuse, and violence; people of all ages, races, and genders.
The artwork is absolutely stunning and also incredibly hard-hitting and emotional at times. It's bright and colourful, and this adds to the impact of the collection.
Please read it.
Received for free via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
And if you are in any doubt whatsoever, then please read this book. It is important.
If you are already aware of our deadly descent into rape culture then please still read this book. Please hear these peoples' stories. This graphic short collection puts together the stories of individuals who have been subject to sexual harassment, abuse, and violence; people of all ages, races, and genders.
The artwork is absolutely stunning and also incredibly hard-hitting and emotional at times. It's bright and colourful, and this adds to the impact of the collection.
Please read it.
Received for free via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
August 5, 2016
Net Galley eARC review
This is an important read. I liked the illustrations overall though at times they were a liiiiittle hard to follow as with the wordless comic which I really liked, but it took a few reads to get what was going on. Maria Stoian has done a great job showing different types of abuse lobbed at both women and men to varying degrees and the result is a, sometimes very uncomfortable, but important work which leaves no room for misinterpretation: it is not a compliment.
This is an important read. I liked the illustrations overall though at times they were a liiiiittle hard to follow as with the wordless comic which I really liked, but it took a few reads to get what was going on. Maria Stoian has done a great job showing different types of abuse lobbed at both women and men to varying degrees and the result is a, sometimes very uncomfortable, but important work which leaves no room for misinterpretation: it is not a compliment.
July 28, 2018
It was a pretty hard to read but damn am I glad I did. I want everyone who jokes about sexual assault or anyone who doesn’t take it seriously to read this book.
The art was wonderful and made the stories both more absorbing and more terrible (it felt like I was in the moment/scene as a bystander and could do nothing to help). I loved that it also provided tips in the back on how to help people who have suffered sexual assault.
Highly suggest this book!
The art was wonderful and made the stories both more absorbing and more terrible (it felt like I was in the moment/scene as a bystander and could do nothing to help). I loved that it also provided tips in the back on how to help people who have suffered sexual assault.
Highly suggest this book!
May 7, 2021
Lo pedí a la biblioteca en un proyecto que hicieron el 8M así que tenía la obligación de leerlo jaja (es broma, sí quería leerlo, aunque hace muchísimo tiempo que lo metí en mi want-to-read).
Supongo que no cuenta ninguna historia que sea muy distinta de lo que todos conocemos, tristemente, me ha recordado este vídeo. Me ha sorprendido que cambiase de estilo de historia a historia, algunos me han gustado más que otros pero eso. En general me parece un buen cómic, no lo compraría pero para cogerlo de la biblioteca pues está bien e interesante.
Supongo que no cuenta ninguna historia que sea muy distinta de lo que todos conocemos, tristemente, me ha recordado este vídeo. Me ha sorprendido que cambiase de estilo de historia a historia, algunos me han gustado más que otros pero eso. En general me parece un buen cómic, no lo compraría pero para cogerlo de la biblioteca pues está bien e interesante.
April 30, 2020
A short collection of anonymous online interviews that detail different peoples experiences of sexual abuse. The stories did make me feel a sense of discomfort but also made me think about my own experiences and how to better understand and support others who have gone through different forms of sexual abuse.
Overall an extremely thought-provoking read with a beautiful art style.
Overall an extremely thought-provoking read with a beautiful art style.
April 18, 2017
A powerful collection Stoian has collected in graphic format, illustrating recountings of sexual abuse, violence and harassment across age and gender, and the impact they had on their victims. A challenging work that has personally sparked several discussions for me.
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