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QBQ! The Question Behind the Question: Practicing Personal Accountability in Work and in Life
The lack of personal accountability is a problem that has resulted in an epidemic of blame, victim thinking, complaining, and procrastination. No organization—or individual—can successfully compete in the marketplace, achieve goals and objectives, provide outstanding service, engage in exceptional teamwork, or develop people without personal accountability.
John G. Miller believes that the troubles that plague organizations cannot be solved by pointing fingers and blaming others. Rather, the real solutions are found when each of us recognizes the power of personal accountability. In QBQ! The Question Behind the Question®, Miller explains how negative, ill-focused questions like “Why do we have to go through all this change?” and “Who dropped the ball?” represent a lack of personal accountability. Conversely, when we ask better questions—QBQs—such as “What can I do to contribute?” or “How can I help solve the problem?” our lives and our organizations are transformed.
THE QBQ! PROMISE
This remarkable and timely book provides a practical method for putting personal accountability into daily actions, with astonishing results: problems are solved, internal barriers come down, service improves, teams thrive, and people adapt to change more quickly. QBQ! is an invaluable resource for anyone seeking to learn, grow, and change. Using this tool, each of us can add tremendous worth to our organizations and to our lives by eliminating blame, victim-thinking, and procrastination.
QBQ! was written more than a decade ago and has helped countless readers practice personal accountability at work and at home. This version features a new foreword, revisions and new material throughout, and a section of FAQs that the author has received over the years.
John G. Miller believes that the troubles that plague organizations cannot be solved by pointing fingers and blaming others. Rather, the real solutions are found when each of us recognizes the power of personal accountability. In QBQ! The Question Behind the Question®, Miller explains how negative, ill-focused questions like “Why do we have to go through all this change?” and “Who dropped the ball?” represent a lack of personal accountability. Conversely, when we ask better questions—QBQs—such as “What can I do to contribute?” or “How can I help solve the problem?” our lives and our organizations are transformed.
THE QBQ! PROMISE
This remarkable and timely book provides a practical method for putting personal accountability into daily actions, with astonishing results: problems are solved, internal barriers come down, service improves, teams thrive, and people adapt to change more quickly. QBQ! is an invaluable resource for anyone seeking to learn, grow, and change. Using this tool, each of us can add tremendous worth to our organizations and to our lives by eliminating blame, victim-thinking, and procrastination.
QBQ! was written more than a decade ago and has helped countless readers practice personal accountability at work and at home. This version features a new foreword, revisions and new material throughout, and a section of FAQs that the author has received over the years.
115 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2014
788 people are currently reading
8927 people want to read
About the author
John G. Miller
34 books39 followersJohn G. Miller is the founder of QBQ, Inc., an organizational development company dedicated to making personal accountability a core value for organizations and individuals. QBQ, Inc. has worked with hundreds of Fortune 500 and other companies and governmental and non-government organizations internationally. Miller, who appears frequently on national television and radio, is the author of the bestselling QBQ! The Question Behind the Question and Flipping the Switch: Five Keys to Success at Work and in Life. He lives in Denver.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 875 reviews
March 31, 2014
It's unfortunate that the system won't let me give this less than one star.
Like many business books, this book can be summarized on a postcard: Take more personal responsibility for the problems you encounter. Don't ask questions that blame other people, or express frustration (e.g., "Why is this happening to me?") Instead, ask the "Question Behind the Question (QBQ) (e.g., "How can I improve this?").
The message itself has some value, but the book over-promises on its usefulness and under-delivers on how to actually use it.
Let me see if I can summarize all the reasons this is a terrible book:
Problems with the book itself (not the message):
* No evidence. There is nothing, not even an anecdote, that shows anyone applying the QBQ principle and having their life or business improve.
* No structure. The book is a string of platitudes and anecdotes.
* Ineffective anecdotes. None of the anecdotes correlate directly to the message. None of the anecdotes are of people using the QBQ method.
* Asking the "Question Behind the Question" does not directly correlate with the core message of personal accountability (expressions of frustration and blame can be made without asking a question)
* Too many logical fallacies (I won't bore you with a list)
Problems with the message:
* Personal accountability is fine, but this book presents it as a silver bullet for success and doesn't examine the nuances of it.
* Huge difference between using personal accountability to solve a problem (which is what the book focuses on) and using personal accountability to initiate a conversation with others about working to solve the problem. Doesn't explain when you'd want to use which approach.
* Encourages people to act, regardless of the consequences.
This book seems like it would be best for a passive-aggressive manager to give to his employees to read so that he doesn't have to spend time training them.
The biggest problem with the book is that ideally, it's unnecessary. If you focus on other aspects of business, such as building a culture of freedom and responsibility, optimism, and open and honest communication, any problems with "personal accountability" will take care of themselves. If people aren't taking personal accountability in your company, you probably have a deeper problem elsewhere in your corporate culture. Unfortunately, this book encourages you, not to look deeper into the root cause of the problem, but to use "personal accountability" to take action and solve the superficial manifestations of the problem.
Like many business books, this book can be summarized on a postcard: Take more personal responsibility for the problems you encounter. Don't ask questions that blame other people, or express frustration (e.g., "Why is this happening to me?") Instead, ask the "Question Behind the Question (QBQ) (e.g., "How can I improve this?").
The message itself has some value, but the book over-promises on its usefulness and under-delivers on how to actually use it.
Let me see if I can summarize all the reasons this is a terrible book:
Problems with the book itself (not the message):
* No evidence. There is nothing, not even an anecdote, that shows anyone applying the QBQ principle and having their life or business improve.
* No structure. The book is a string of platitudes and anecdotes.
* Ineffective anecdotes. None of the anecdotes correlate directly to the message. None of the anecdotes are of people using the QBQ method.
* Asking the "Question Behind the Question" does not directly correlate with the core message of personal accountability (expressions of frustration and blame can be made without asking a question)
* Too many logical fallacies (I won't bore you with a list)
Problems with the message:
* Personal accountability is fine, but this book presents it as a silver bullet for success and doesn't examine the nuances of it.
* Huge difference between using personal accountability to solve a problem (which is what the book focuses on) and using personal accountability to initiate a conversation with others about working to solve the problem. Doesn't explain when you'd want to use which approach.
* Encourages people to act, regardless of the consequences.
This book seems like it would be best for a passive-aggressive manager to give to his employees to read so that he doesn't have to spend time training them.
The biggest problem with the book is that ideally, it's unnecessary. If you focus on other aspects of business, such as building a culture of freedom and responsibility, optimism, and open and honest communication, any problems with "personal accountability" will take care of themselves. If people aren't taking personal accountability in your company, you probably have a deeper problem elsewhere in your corporate culture. Unfortunately, this book encourages you, not to look deeper into the root cause of the problem, but to use "personal accountability" to take action and solve the superficial manifestations of the problem.
March 27, 2013
This book was pretty annoying, because it sings the tune of a cranky old white guy with bootstrap mentality, and fuck a bunch of horrible humans and oppressive power systems in the deathculture of heterosexist capitalist patriarchy that create structural barriers to people's abilities to be happy, productive, and satisfied or whatever. It's about "personal" accountability, however, so let's assume we get to define for ourselves to what values and standards we are accountable, and that we possess the self-respect and analytical prowess to push back when warranted. With that in mind, this was a good reminder of the answer to the age old question put to anarchism: Who will take out the trash? I will, natch.
Some gems:
When faced with a problem that sucks, ask not "Why me??" but instead:
1. Begin with "What" or "How" (not "Why," "When," or "Who")
2. Contain an "I" (not "they," "them," "we," or "you")
3. Focus on action.
Stop asking externally focused questions.
Creativity is succeeding within the box.
Why don't they communicate better --> How can I better understand them?
"I'm sure there are reasons we could explore, but frankly, I'd prefer to talk about solutions."
It was a timely read because I've been feeling mopey and blamey recently, and as I navigate what's depression and what's self-sabotage, sometimes it's good to have crotchety, completely un-self-aware, story-wandering grandpa at your side saying, "Suck it up." Why the 1 star review? Because dude really loves it when service industry folks go above and beyond (like ingratiating to wack customer needs with their own money), and that is just the worst.
Some gems:
When faced with a problem that sucks, ask not "Why me??" but instead:
1. Begin with "What" or "How" (not "Why," "When," or "Who")
2. Contain an "I" (not "they," "them," "we," or "you")
3. Focus on action.
Stop asking externally focused questions.
Creativity is succeeding within the box.
Why don't they communicate better --> How can I better understand them?
"I'm sure there are reasons we could explore, but frankly, I'd prefer to talk about solutions."
It was a timely read because I've been feeling mopey and blamey recently, and as I navigate what's depression and what's self-sabotage, sometimes it's good to have crotchety, completely un-self-aware, story-wandering grandpa at your side saying, "Suck it up." Why the 1 star review? Because dude really loves it when service industry folks go above and beyond (like ingratiating to wack customer needs with their own money), and that is just the worst.
October 17, 2010
This book painted with such a broad brush that it failed to capture any of the nuance of interpersonal relationships and corporate responsibility. I understand the concept of personal accountability and not shifting blame. However, his major premise that we do not ask why or who but only what I can do misses the mark completely. There are times where it is imperative to look at the actions of others and how the team impacts and effects productivity. The author's desire to prop up his business and reduce actions to catch-phrases and slogans misses the idiosyncrasies and nuances of interpersonal relationships.
March 14, 2017
This is a hideous, hideous book that I, like many people in shitty low-wage/no benefit jobs was required to read for work. It's main message seems to be how can I help the CEO get richer by groveling and debasing myself in front of ridiculous, over-demanding customers. I take pride in my work and always believe in being polite and helpful but dude, if we're out of milk I'm not running down the street to get you some from the convenience store.
September 3, 2022
This is a must read I think for people in leadership roles but also for the people in any organization there are a lot of quick stories with the same take away. What can I do: to make this work better, to motivate my team, to add value to...etc. It is a mindset that I think everyone needs to try and get into if they are in a leadership role.
I recently left the company I had been working for the last twelve years and the awesome team I had cultivated there. Going into a new company and new culture was a little scary and I wasn't sure what to expect. In some ways the company culture is better and in some ways it was worse. There are always trade offs right, but starting with a new team I found there were a few people in it that played the blame game actively and while some statements made might be true they weren't productive to getting work done.
The Question Behind the Question (QBQ) is a great starter book to identify when you are asking an incorrect question as opposed to a productive question. For example some of the incorrect questions management asks are things like:
While those are questions they really fall into a victimhood stance of things happening to you. There is nothing proactive in those statements, nothing that you are doing to fix these issues. Some better questions would be:
I think this is a must have fast read for anyone in management. Some managers don't capitalize on the differences of their teams and instead trying to treat everyone the same and I have found that is a horrible way to operate. Instead it is better to identify what are the strengths and weaknesses of all the team members and help they play to their strengths while developing their weaknesses.
This is a short enough book that I assigned it to a few of the people on my team I'm trying to develop for future leaders but also used some of the examples in our weakly meetings to talk about and identify how to change mindsets and work together to do less finger pointing and more how can I help fix this issue. I'm fortunate in a lot of ways there are so many tools to already do that but there are always areas of improvement and times that victim thinking needs to be squashed and this book will help with some tools of how to change the script from victim questions into something that is proactive and productive.
I recently left the company I had been working for the last twelve years and the awesome team I had cultivated there. Going into a new company and new culture was a little scary and I wasn't sure what to expect. In some ways the company culture is better and in some ways it was worse. There are always trade offs right, but starting with a new team I found there were a few people in it that played the blame game actively and while some statements made might be true they weren't productive to getting work done.
The Question Behind the Question (QBQ) is a great starter book to identify when you are asking an incorrect question as opposed to a productive question. For example some of the incorrect questions management asks are things like:
"Why doesn't the younger generation want to work?"
"When will we find good people?"
"Why aren't they motivated?"
"Who made the mistake?"
"When will they get ingaged?"
While those are questions they really fall into a victimhood stance of things happening to you. There is nothing proactive in those statements, nothing that you are doing to fix these issues. Some better questions would be:
"How can I be a more effective coach?"
"What can I do to better understand each person I manage?"
"How can I build a stronger team?"
I think this is a must have fast read for anyone in management. Some managers don't capitalize on the differences of their teams and instead trying to treat everyone the same and I have found that is a horrible way to operate. Instead it is better to identify what are the strengths and weaknesses of all the team members and help they play to their strengths while developing their weaknesses.
This is a short enough book that I assigned it to a few of the people on my team I'm trying to develop for future leaders but also used some of the examples in our weakly meetings to talk about and identify how to change mindsets and work together to do less finger pointing and more how can I help fix this issue. I'm fortunate in a lot of ways there are so many tools to already do that but there are always areas of improvement and times that victim thinking needs to be squashed and this book will help with some tools of how to change the script from victim questions into something that is proactive and productive.
July 20, 2018
This book was required reading at a large retail department store chain, where I worked,when it was taken over by new management. "QBQ" became our new mantra and managers were constantly hounding us to answer the "Question Behind the Question." It's certainly light reading and not much of a challenge intellectually; it does make suggestions that encourage excellent customer service - there is nothing wrong with that, but...the overall premise, that there are no limits to providing such service, is questionable. I believe in civility and respect when dealing with customers, helping them with their needs and making the process as satisfactory as possible, but I also believe that stopping at nothing to give the customer what he/she wants is the best way to create a monster. Customers become arrogant,rude, crazy with power and an attitude that they are entitled to satisfaction at any cost (a cost not to borne by them of course); once you give them what they want, they want - no demand - more. Sorry, I'm going off on a tangent here, but I think books that espouse philosophies such as this book does are actually dangerous.
I no longer work for the retail giant, and as far as I know QBQ has fallen by the wayside.
I no longer work for the retail giant, and as far as I know QBQ has fallen by the wayside.
July 19, 2011
There’s big wisdom in this little book. John Miller tackles a big subject, personal accountability, with a surprisingly simple premise: The questions we ask ourselves, “why is this happening again?” “Who is responsible,” and “When will this improve?” determines our emotional response to the difficult situations that life presents. Ask the wrong questions and we move backwards into blaming others, protecting ourselves, and rationalizing failure. Ask ourselves QBQ questions and we’re much more likely to take pro-active action, inspire those around us to do the same, and improve our lives.
Miller’s QBQ Rules:
1. Frame questions with ‘what’ or ‘how’ and avoid ‘why,’ ‘when,’ and ‘who.’
2. The question must contain an ‘I’ to ensure personal involvement
3. The question must be action oriented through words such as ‘build,’ ‘do,’ and ‘make.’
Miller provides a number of business-world examples that illustrate the usefulness of QBQ questions. However, as with many books in this genre, the success examples he cites are not – in fact – using his model. Grafting a system on top of events that have already transpired is not as powerful as testing the theory in real time and documenting results. However, the QBQ logic embodies enough common sense to stand on it’s own. I found myself conducting an internal comparison of successful vs unsuccessful personal challenges and the QBQ premise held up well. Highly recommended.
Miller’s QBQ Rules:
1. Frame questions with ‘what’ or ‘how’ and avoid ‘why,’ ‘when,’ and ‘who.’
2. The question must contain an ‘I’ to ensure personal involvement
3. The question must be action oriented through words such as ‘build,’ ‘do,’ and ‘make.’
Miller provides a number of business-world examples that illustrate the usefulness of QBQ questions. However, as with many books in this genre, the success examples he cites are not – in fact – using his model. Grafting a system on top of events that have already transpired is not as powerful as testing the theory in real time and documenting results. However, the QBQ logic embodies enough common sense to stand on it’s own. I found myself conducting an internal comparison of successful vs unsuccessful personal challenges and the QBQ premise held up well. Highly recommended.
September 9, 2015
Read this for work. Not impressed. Personal accountability is important, yes. This book just read like a branding and marketing of ideas and concepts that are in lots of other books.
Some of it a bit too corporate and (this is an example from the book for teachers): "You feel overworked and underpaid? Well...what can you do to reignite your passion for teaching?"
Uh....
Some of it a bit too corporate and (this is an example from the book for teachers): "You feel overworked and underpaid? Well...what can you do to reignite your passion for teaching?"
Uh....
April 30, 2012
Read this for work. Now I'm wondering: How can I never read another book like this?
The eponymous acronym is meaningless and seems like simply an attempt to brand the pretty basic idea that one shouldn't look to blame others but should look for a way to help out in any given situation. How that relates to questions, either in front or behind each other, seems a bit unclear to me.
The eponymous acronym is meaningless and seems like simply an attempt to brand the pretty basic idea that one shouldn't look to blame others but should look for a way to help out in any given situation. How that relates to questions, either in front or behind each other, seems a bit unclear to me.
April 13, 2009
This book was loaned to me by a co-worker (whose boyfriend apparently lives by the "QBQ"). Very short, very quick read. A little too simplistic. Not anything I haven't heard before. Basically espouses personal accountability. Don't blame other people. Instead of asking negative questions, ask questions that start with either "What" or "How," include "I," and include some kind of action. Not bad advice, although it talks about not blaming others or complaining, but doesn't address the issues of not blaming yourself for everything and not feeling like everything is your fault (which seems like a trap you could fall into).
April 7, 2016
This book was introduced to me from my employer who brought in John's daughter to introduce us to the QBQ! method.
First off - I have no issues with the message this book is trying to convey, I believe wholeheartedly in the importance of personal accountability and I agree that often times we are too quick to blame in the workplace and don't take enough time looking internally for the solutions to our problems.
However, how does one prevent "silos" from happening if every individual is only looking at what they can do? OF COURSE I agree that the only person you can change is yourself - and that is why personal accountability is so important because you can't change others, BUT if I don't have a fundamental understanding of WHY my company chose to do X or WHY my company hasn't implemented Y ----- then I probably don't have a very good idea of my employer's vision, direction, goal, target outcome, etc. Sometimes one has to ask those questions to better understand what is even going on. I NEED that information to ensure that when I ask "What can I do to support the organization" or "What can I do to be a more effective employee" I'll be on the right track.
While I can't control the people on my team or decide whether or not they will change - if I don't include them in my big picture thinking while I decide how I can contribute - then we aren't acting as a team, we are doomed to become scattered, off track, or duplicate each other's efforts by not realizing someone else has already begun solving X and they're close to finding the solution, so I probably shouldn't start from scratch in my efforts to solve the same thing. I'd probably be better served helping them. But until I ask, What are they doing for the team? I won't know they're working on X, close to a solution, and in need of my help! Your organization will soon become a hackathon, a bunch of people albeit engaged and hard at work, but unknowingly duplicating the same thing and thus wasting energy and wasting efforts that could be put to better use in an orchestrated manner.
I think creating rules on what words can start your sentences and what words can't is too simplistic. The root of the issue is the attitude not what word you use. "What was she thinking when she read my email and responded so rudely?" sounds totally different coming from the place of, I am genuinely trying to put myself in her shoes to see why she reacted to me in that way to see the situation from her perspective so I can understand where she is coming from.
If you have a positive/calm attitude and the mindset of someone who can only control yourself and wants to do everything possible to be a positive force and contribution to your environment, it doesn't matter what word you use to start your sentences with.
I also agree that blame can become toxic but sometimes you do need to address a leaky pipe, rather than do what you can to mop up water but take no action to figure out where the leak is coming from.
Overall, I support the main message, I just don't agree with every example or the oversimplification.
First off - I have no issues with the message this book is trying to convey, I believe wholeheartedly in the importance of personal accountability and I agree that often times we are too quick to blame in the workplace and don't take enough time looking internally for the solutions to our problems.
However, how does one prevent "silos" from happening if every individual is only looking at what they can do? OF COURSE I agree that the only person you can change is yourself - and that is why personal accountability is so important because you can't change others, BUT if I don't have a fundamental understanding of WHY my company chose to do X or WHY my company hasn't implemented Y ----- then I probably don't have a very good idea of my employer's vision, direction, goal, target outcome, etc. Sometimes one has to ask those questions to better understand what is even going on. I NEED that information to ensure that when I ask "What can I do to support the organization" or "What can I do to be a more effective employee" I'll be on the right track.
While I can't control the people on my team or decide whether or not they will change - if I don't include them in my big picture thinking while I decide how I can contribute - then we aren't acting as a team, we are doomed to become scattered, off track, or duplicate each other's efforts by not realizing someone else has already begun solving X and they're close to finding the solution, so I probably shouldn't start from scratch in my efforts to solve the same thing. I'd probably be better served helping them. But until I ask, What are they doing for the team? I won't know they're working on X, close to a solution, and in need of my help! Your organization will soon become a hackathon, a bunch of people albeit engaged and hard at work, but unknowingly duplicating the same thing and thus wasting energy and wasting efforts that could be put to better use in an orchestrated manner.
I think creating rules on what words can start your sentences and what words can't is too simplistic. The root of the issue is the attitude not what word you use. "What was she thinking when she read my email and responded so rudely?" sounds totally different coming from the place of, I am genuinely trying to put myself in her shoes to see why she reacted to me in that way to see the situation from her perspective so I can understand where she is coming from.
If you have a positive/calm attitude and the mindset of someone who can only control yourself and wants to do everything possible to be a positive force and contribution to your environment, it doesn't matter what word you use to start your sentences with.
I also agree that blame can become toxic but sometimes you do need to address a leaky pipe, rather than do what you can to mop up water but take no action to figure out where the leak is coming from.
Overall, I support the main message, I just don't agree with every example or the oversimplification.
April 7, 2021
I had to read this for work. 'Nuff said.
June 5, 2008
This books talks about recognizing personal accountability in all areas of your life...personally and professionally.
Favorite Quotes:
pg. 23
"How can I do my job better today?"
"What can I do to improve the situation?"
"How can I support others?"
Pg. 39
Most of us have heard the saying, "Creativity is thinking outside the box." There's a lot of truth in that, but to me true creativity is this:
Succeeding within the box.
pg. 46
Blame and "whodunit" questions solve nothing. They create fear, destroy creativity and build walls. Instead of brainstorming and working together to get things done, we blame-storm and accomplish nothing. There's not a chance we'll reach our full potential until we stop blaming each other and start practicing personal accountability.
pg. 63
A CEO or anyone in leadership should state that...
Personal Accountability begins with ME...not with YOU
pg. 69
People's minds fill with all kinds of ideas when asked what they would change to improve things. But guess what nobobdy ever says? Me! "I would change me to make our organization run more effectively." Someone once suggested it was a trick question but I don't think it is. Read it again. Our minds simply don't go there. Our thoughts almost always focus elsewhere first. Asking questions that begin with "What" or "How" and contain and "I" brings our focus back to ourselves.
pg. 74
The definition of integrity is:
"Being what I say I am by acting in accordance with my words."
pg. 76
Here's an integrity test for anyone who's part of an organiziation: Does what we say about our organization while we're at work match what we say at home? If it's positive at work and negative a few hours later at home, we have a choice to make. Here's an idea we should all consider:
Believe or leave.
pg. 84
Even though there are risks involved in taking action, the alternative, inaction, is almost never the better choice.
Action, even when it leads to mistakes, brings learning and growth. Inaction brings stagnation and atrophy.
Action leads us toward solutions. Inaction at best does nothing and holds us in the past.
Action requires courage. Inaction often indicates fear.
Action Builds confidence; inaction, doubt.
"It's better to be one who is told to wait, than one who waits to be told."
pg. 95
"As a leader, I'm here to help you reach your goals."
Humility is the cornerstone of leadership.
pg. 110
We attend too many seminars. We take too many classes. We buy too many books. We play too many audios in our cars. It's all wasted if we're unclear on what learning really is: Learning is not attending, listening or reading. Nor is it merely gaining knowledge. Learning is really about translating knowing what to do into doing what we know. It's about changing.
If we have not changed we have not learned. What Have you learned today?
Favorite Quotes:
pg. 23
"How can I do my job better today?"
"What can I do to improve the situation?"
"How can I support others?"
Pg. 39
Most of us have heard the saying, "Creativity is thinking outside the box." There's a lot of truth in that, but to me true creativity is this:
Succeeding within the box.
pg. 46
Blame and "whodunit" questions solve nothing. They create fear, destroy creativity and build walls. Instead of brainstorming and working together to get things done, we blame-storm and accomplish nothing. There's not a chance we'll reach our full potential until we stop blaming each other and start practicing personal accountability.
pg. 63
A CEO or anyone in leadership should state that...
Personal Accountability begins with ME...not with YOU
pg. 69
People's minds fill with all kinds of ideas when asked what they would change to improve things. But guess what nobobdy ever says? Me! "I would change me to make our organization run more effectively." Someone once suggested it was a trick question but I don't think it is. Read it again. Our minds simply don't go there. Our thoughts almost always focus elsewhere first. Asking questions that begin with "What" or "How" and contain and "I" brings our focus back to ourselves.
pg. 74
The definition of integrity is:
"Being what I say I am by acting in accordance with my words."
pg. 76
Here's an integrity test for anyone who's part of an organiziation: Does what we say about our organization while we're at work match what we say at home? If it's positive at work and negative a few hours later at home, we have a choice to make. Here's an idea we should all consider:
Believe or leave.
pg. 84
Even though there are risks involved in taking action, the alternative, inaction, is almost never the better choice.
Action, even when it leads to mistakes, brings learning and growth. Inaction brings stagnation and atrophy.
Action leads us toward solutions. Inaction at best does nothing and holds us in the past.
Action requires courage. Inaction often indicates fear.
Action Builds confidence; inaction, doubt.
"It's better to be one who is told to wait, than one who waits to be told."
pg. 95
"As a leader, I'm here to help you reach your goals."
Humility is the cornerstone of leadership.
pg. 110
We attend too many seminars. We take too many classes. We buy too many books. We play too many audios in our cars. It's all wasted if we're unclear on what learning really is: Learning is not attending, listening or reading. Nor is it merely gaining knowledge. Learning is really about translating knowing what to do into doing what we know. It's about changing.
If we have not changed we have not learned. What Have you learned today?
August 26, 2010
another jewelry lady suggested this book to a few of us for our business, so i picked it up and finally decided to read it. it took me less than an hour- a fast, easy read.
i have to admit that i was turned off by the second page. "on a cross coountry flight the flight attendant got on the intercom and said, 'Sorry everyone but the movie we promised you will not be shown today. Catering put the wrong one on board.'" He then goes on to use this as an example of people not taking responsibility and accountability. As a flight attendant, this does happen and i thought- well what else was she supposed to do????
i decided to continue on and though i learned a lot and think what he's trying to teach people is great (but i still think he shouldn't have used that example!)
some of my favorite things from the book are
every day ask yourself How Can I do My Job Better Today? What Can I Do to Improve the Situation? How Can I Support Others?
We're going through a merger and a lapse in contract at my job and a lot ,of the employees are anti management and its very much a we vs. them mentality. i admit that i have been sucked into this, and am going to try to change my attitude and position after reading this.
A few other key points:
Stop playing the victim.
Work with what you got.
How can you adapt to changes in the workplace?
Take Ownership
Make Better choices
A definite must read for everyone who has kids and has a job!
i have to admit that i was turned off by the second page. "on a cross coountry flight the flight attendant got on the intercom and said, 'Sorry everyone but the movie we promised you will not be shown today. Catering put the wrong one on board.'" He then goes on to use this as an example of people not taking responsibility and accountability. As a flight attendant, this does happen and i thought- well what else was she supposed to do????
i decided to continue on and though i learned a lot and think what he's trying to teach people is great (but i still think he shouldn't have used that example!)
some of my favorite things from the book are
every day ask yourself How Can I do My Job Better Today? What Can I Do to Improve the Situation? How Can I Support Others?
We're going through a merger and a lapse in contract at my job and a lot ,of the employees are anti management and its very much a we vs. them mentality. i admit that i have been sucked into this, and am going to try to change my attitude and position after reading this.
A few other key points:
Stop playing the victim.
Work with what you got.
How can you adapt to changes in the workplace?
Take Ownership
Make Better choices
A definite must read for everyone who has kids and has a job!
January 30, 2010
My company used to have a book club in which the entire staff participated. Prior to my becoming a full time employee with the company and being included in this activity, they read "QBQ!" The book continues to be referenced by executive management and our Account Service Department is reading the book together. Well, I couldn't be left out, so I had to buy it and read it for myself.
I learned a few of the principles in this book though my own failings earlier in life (okay, within the last 12 years) and truly believe in the power of personal accountability. I take away an even greater depth to some of the basics I've already embraced and something I can share as I coach my team at work. No, I can't change them, but I can share this book.
Favorites for me: you always have a choice (I've been saying this for years.) Stress is a choice. Think in "I" terms not them. Do not adopt victim mentality.
It's energizing to read a book and flip your thinking.
I learned a few of the principles in this book though my own failings earlier in life (okay, within the last 12 years) and truly believe in the power of personal accountability. I take away an even greater depth to some of the basics I've already embraced and something I can share as I coach my team at work. No, I can't change them, but I can share this book.
Favorites for me: you always have a choice (I've been saying this for years.) Stress is a choice. Think in "I" terms not them. Do not adopt victim mentality.
It's energizing to read a book and flip your thinking.
March 6, 2021
This is the most self-promoting book that exists. If you enjoy reading the acronym QBQ. you will enjoy this book. "QBQ" is in the introduction 18 times, and the introduction is only three short pages long. This book can be written and summarized on a napkin. Good night.
July 19, 2018
Being accountable and refining from blaming others is in itself a good piece of advice. But the author fails to see that some time taking responsibility means ignoring problems that are not your responsibility or avoiding time consuming creativity during the rush hour in order to accommodate one customer at the cost of several other and/or your already stressed out coworkers.
I don't know about the United states but many of the examples in this book are the exacts formula for losing your job, sometimes even without notice, in some organizations in Europe and Asia.
Also when working on a big project with other people/ teams " What can I do" is only a very small part of the equation.
I don't know about the United states but many of the examples in this book are the exacts formula for losing your job, sometimes even without notice, in some organizations in Europe and Asia.
Also when working on a big project with other people/ teams " What can I do" is only a very small part of the equation.
February 28, 2018
I was given this to read in the first 30 days of my new job, and I must say it’s a great way to reset your mind before things get hectic. I unknowingly followed the QBQ life in my last job, until I started doing other people’s jobs. This was a breath of fresh air and I made sure to take my time reading it, even though I wanted to blast through it. At times, the points seemed common sense to me, but they might not be fore every one! Common sense is actually not common....sadly. But! I definitely recommend this. Yes yes!
July 14, 2024
Read this (in like an hour lmao) for a book club at work. I think there are some decent concepts that I can apply but I wish it had gone into more depth, especially from the lens of a person who isn’t a supervisor
July 16, 2024
Imma be so honest, I crammed it for a book club at work. I get the concepts of self help books but they definitely aren’t for me. My brain just does really process books like this. But it did make me reflect how I do things. So I’ll give it that.
October 6, 2018
Everyone should read this. I hope I make a few changes in my life that help me be a better leader.
June 5, 2021
Pretty useless book. There is no solid evidence of his theory, nor any scientific backing. This book is a string of two page anecdotes preaching the same positive nonsense.
Yes, it’s good to be positive. It’s good to recognize you can’t control the actions of others but can control your reactions to those actions. It’s good to try to incite change.
But...
This book seems like a way to brainwash people into thinking they are always responsible for being perfect, or close to it. It teaches its readers that it doesn’t matter if other people are messing up...how can YOU make it better? How about holding those other people accountable?
The author tells a story about how he was on a plane ride and met the man next to him. They begin talking and the other man turns out to be a personal injury lawyer, and the author explains to him that he teaches personal accountability. The author kind of mocks the situation and acts like he’s better than this personal injury lawyer.
I’m sorry but there are times when being labeled a victim is accurate. If my loved ones are driving down the road,
Following laws, and some drunk slams into them...how are my loved ones not victims? Punishments need to be even higher for offenders both in public and in the workplace. Teaching people to have accountability only works when everyone is being held to the same standard.
It’s kind of like when a child is brutally murdered by the parents. Some of these “we choose positivity” people will make comments like “At least the child is at peace now.” “RIP, now he/she is a beautiful angel.” How are they qualified to make statements like that? Sometimes being positive is being naive.
Yes, it’s good to be positive. It’s good to recognize you can’t control the actions of others but can control your reactions to those actions. It’s good to try to incite change.
But...
This book seems like a way to brainwash people into thinking they are always responsible for being perfect, or close to it. It teaches its readers that it doesn’t matter if other people are messing up...how can YOU make it better? How about holding those other people accountable?
The author tells a story about how he was on a plane ride and met the man next to him. They begin talking and the other man turns out to be a personal injury lawyer, and the author explains to him that he teaches personal accountability. The author kind of mocks the situation and acts like he’s better than this personal injury lawyer.
I’m sorry but there are times when being labeled a victim is accurate. If my loved ones are driving down the road,
Following laws, and some drunk slams into them...how are my loved ones not victims? Punishments need to be even higher for offenders both in public and in the workplace. Teaching people to have accountability only works when everyone is being held to the same standard.
It’s kind of like when a child is brutally murdered by the parents. Some of these “we choose positivity” people will make comments like “At least the child is at peace now.” “RIP, now he/she is a beautiful angel.” How are they qualified to make statements like that? Sometimes being positive is being naive.
March 12, 2023
Many, many years ago I was a young professional woman traveling from Ohio back to Atlanta. I had a packed week ahead of me and a stressful weekend behind me, and just wanted to get to where I was going and have a few hours of peace.
While in the airport waiting on my flight I stumbled across this small book and thought it looked like an interesting read. I snagged it from the bookstore and soon was settled into my seat waiting to take off. I started reading it and within an hour had finished it.
I then sat there in my seat, on the tarmac, for another eight hours due to winter weather delays. All around me people got angrier and angrier and I could only laugh because I had just finished this book and was unable to access a victim mentality without the question behind the question (the QBQ) rising up.
I just re-read it again this morning in thirty minutes and I truly would wish this experience on everyone. It is a fantastic reminder that I can make a tremendous different in the world, by focusing on the difference I need to make in me.
I highly recommend this book for everyone of every age in every industry and profession as well as parents and kids. It’s just the simplest and most effective concept to help turn things around, no matter what those things are.
While in the airport waiting on my flight I stumbled across this small book and thought it looked like an interesting read. I snagged it from the bookstore and soon was settled into my seat waiting to take off. I started reading it and within an hour had finished it.
I then sat there in my seat, on the tarmac, for another eight hours due to winter weather delays. All around me people got angrier and angrier and I could only laugh because I had just finished this book and was unable to access a victim mentality without the question behind the question (the QBQ) rising up.
I just re-read it again this morning in thirty minutes and I truly would wish this experience on everyone. It is a fantastic reminder that I can make a tremendous different in the world, by focusing on the difference I need to make in me.
I highly recommend this book for everyone of every age in every industry and profession as well as parents and kids. It’s just the simplest and most effective concept to help turn things around, no matter what those things are.
July 11, 2012
This is a rather different book which focuses on the epidemic "blame" game which is rampant today. John Miller attempts to pursuade one to accept responsibility, be accountable and, above all, quit blaming.
He suggest we drop questions that begin with "who" and "why" and change them to "show" and "what". He also says to remove the "they" and "them" and replace with "I". So, when a "situation" arises, instead of trying to dodge blame or find an excuse, pose a question like "What can I do to help?" or "How can I assist?"
Miller's reasoning is that when we say "who's doing that?" or "Do I have to?" we should say, "How can I make a difference?" The "ducking responsibility" questions make us a subservient, while the action-oriented questions put us in control. Never fear action. "It is better to be one who is told to wait, than one who waits to be told."
He suggest we drop questions that begin with "who" and "why" and change them to "show" and "what". He also says to remove the "they" and "them" and replace with "I". So, when a "situation" arises, instead of trying to dodge blame or find an excuse, pose a question like "What can I do to help?" or "How can I assist?"
Miller's reasoning is that when we say "who's doing that?" or "Do I have to?" we should say, "How can I make a difference?" The "ducking responsibility" questions make us a subservient, while the action-oriented questions put us in control. Never fear action. "It is better to be one who is told to wait, than one who waits to be told."
June 30, 2017
Snooze
March 2, 2024
Very quick read. But great. Had to read for a leadership program; I know I’ll be reading it again. Will be using in both my professional and personal life.
Read
March 26, 2018The book QBQ is not one of my favorites. The book I recently read was “QBQ!”, It stands for the question behind the question. This book was written by John G. Miller. I personally didn’t like this book really because of just the style that it had. I don’t really enjoy this style of book writing where there is short stories, but it depends on what you like.
This book is a little short, so it is hard to write about. The basic moral of this book was taking situations that the writer had in his life, and going more in depth in it. He would go and find the question behind the question. One thing I did enjoy in this book was some of the stories in it. There were some short stories in this book that we’re somewhat intriguing and relatable, yet a lot of them I didn’t like very much. Some stories would talk about how what people do and what you think of it. I liked those stories. Yet in this book there were some stories that were either too demanding or too in depth about the Question behind the question.
Having this be a short book, I will give it a little bit of sympathy for my rating. I think I would rate this book a 3.5 out of 5 for some certain reasons of good short stories. I think this book has high and lows but deserves this rating for having some decent stories and for how long the book is. I would suggest this book to anyone that likes this style of writings, or a book going in depth in stories. This wasn’t as good as the recent books but it wasn't too bad.
This book is a little short, so it is hard to write about. The basic moral of this book was taking situations that the writer had in his life, and going more in depth in it. He would go and find the question behind the question. One thing I did enjoy in this book was some of the stories in it. There were some short stories in this book that we’re somewhat intriguing and relatable, yet a lot of them I didn’t like very much. Some stories would talk about how what people do and what you think of it. I liked those stories. Yet in this book there were some stories that were either too demanding or too in depth about the Question behind the question.
Having this be a short book, I will give it a little bit of sympathy for my rating. I think I would rate this book a 3.5 out of 5 for some certain reasons of good short stories. I think this book has high and lows but deserves this rating for having some decent stories and for how long the book is. I would suggest this book to anyone that likes this style of writings, or a book going in depth in stories. This wasn’t as good as the recent books but it wasn't too bad.
December 6, 2018
Lack of personal accountability is a problem a lot of people struggle with in this day and age. In this book the author John Miller explains how to gain it and the little pieces that goes along with personal accountability in order to gain that skill. Each chapter shows each little puzzle piece that fits into the topic of personal accountability and most chapters include a question like who? what? where? when? or why? For example there are chapters about the Foundation of Teamwork, Making Better Choices, Why me?, the Motor of Learning, etc. He also explains how we should take blame for ourselves instead of blaming others. I think this book was informational in some ways and in others not so much because in some chapters he had really good points and explanations to back it up and in others there was not good evidence supporting his ideas and points. I agree with the author because I think that people should take responsibility for their own actions and not blame other people. I would give this book at 3 out of 5 stars because it was informative yet it was kind of boring.
July 10, 2018
Personal accountability starts with you (this should be said into a mirror). John Miller poses a practical way to focus on what we can do to incorporate personal accountability into our everyday lives. At the same time, his system stomps out the idea of victimhood. Take an afternoon and read this short and focused book on personal accountability and you will start looking at “problems” as opportunities for improvement.
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