Finding Family: My Search for Roots and the Secrets in My DNA

by Richard Hill

Finding Family: My Search for Roots and the Secrets in My DNA was a Global Ebook Awards gold medal winner and a Next Generation Indie Book Awards Finalist. It is Richard Hill's true and intensely personal story of how he pieced together the long-kept secret of his own origins. This highly suspenseful book is a page-turning saga of personal detective work that will appeal to anyone who loves a good mystery.

But this isn't fiction. It's an engrossing account of an adoptee trying to reclaim the biological family denied him by sealed birth records. This fascinating quest, including the author's landmark use of DNA testing, takes readers on an exhilarating roller-coaster ride and concludes with a twist that rivals anything Hollywood has to offer.

Easy to read and hard to put down, Finding Family is the first book to chronicle the paradigm-shifting application of genetic genealogy to adoption search. Whether you're searching for your own roots or just craving a darn good read, Finding Family is a book you will likely devour in one sitting...and wholeheartedly recommend to others.

In the vein of a classic mystery, Hill gathers the seemingly scant evidence surrounding the circumstances of his birth. At his adoptive father's deathbed, he discovers shocking information that leads him to methodically chase down leads, which sometimes yield poignant glimpses of his birth parents, sometimes garner resistance, and as frequently flat-line in disappointment.

As his resolve shores up, the author also avails of new friends, genealogists, the Internet, and the latest DNA tests in the new field of genetic genealogy. As he closes in on the truth of his ancestry, he is able to construct a living, breathing portrait of the young woman who was faced with the decision to forsake her rights to her child, and ultimately the man whose identity had remained hidden for decades.

During the course of Hill's mission, Finding Family offers guidance, insight, and motivation for anyone engaged in a similar mission, from ways to obtain information to the many networks that can facilitate adoption searches. Best of all, the author demystifies how DNA and genetic genealogy can produce irrefutable results in determining genetic connections. In an intimate, personal voice, Hill sheds light on this new science that is helping adoptees bypass sealed records and similar stumbling blocks. It is certain to inspire those who are in search of their birth parents as well as others who are uncertain of their biological ancestry.

Richard Hill's groundbreaking use of DNA testing in adoption search was featured on the front page of The Wall Street Journal. His DNA Testing Adviser web site makes genetic genealogy understandable to all.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Adoption, Biography, History, Biography Memoir, Genetics

249 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2012

About the author

Richard Hill was the first adoptee to identify his birth family through genetic genealogy DNA tests. He shared his story in an award-winning book, "Finding Family: My Search for Roots and the Secrets in My DNA.” He has founded two websites on DNA testing, most recently, DNAFavorites.com. Richard gives presentations on genetic genealogy topics both virtually and in person. He is a member of the Genealogical Speakers Guild and the American Adoption Congress. He lives in Michigan with his wife of 57 years.

Reviews

[Richard Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Since it's my personal story and I wrote the book, I love it. No surprise there.

[Carol]

I read this awhile ago and should have written a review at that time so this may be a bit vague.

At a doctor visit just before college Hill learns that the parents he loves and believed birthed him did not. He does not confront his parents with this knowledge for quite some time yet begins a quest to find out his beginnings. Richard Hill's research spans decades and should help anyone on a similar path. His book is described as a classic mystery of sorts and that it is. It is also a journey of a determined man to find his roots while retaining the love and stability of his adoptive relationships.

Like many adopted persons, Hill has questions and seeks answers only to find closed doors and poor record keeping. DNA affords him the means to find some of these answers. IT's a twisty path with lots of surprises and I was enthralled. I applaud him for this and for his willingness to share what he learned with us.

Knowing many people who are unable to find their birth parents due to closed records, secrets kept, I see the anguish this brings them. I am a proponent of open adoption which allows both biological and adoptive parents some access to personal information. Perhaps not for all, but its foundation built on honesty seems to benefit many parents and their children.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book offers so much more than genealogy and DNA! From the perspective of an adoptee who is an only child, his idea of family is loaded with some great expectations. Mr. Hill has many insightful revelations about what this word means to him throughout his journey to find his biological parents.

This a wonderful human interest story along with enough suspense to prevent the use of a bookmark.

[Annette · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could not put this book down. The author's search and success in finding his birth father through a combination of research and DNA testing, long after his father's death,was an inspiration for me in my search. Riveting and inspiring!

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Scrolling through the Nonfiction section at NetGalley, I saw the title of this book and it grabbed my attention. I was curious about the author's journey in finding his truths because I too wondered about my own ancestors. While my own discoveries were interesting, the author's road was a lot bumpier and filled with many twists and turns. Finding one's roots was more difficult in decades prior than today. Sites like Ancestry and Familysearch didn't exist, leaving millions of people in the dark about their ancestors. Many state laws concerning adoption created more hurdles for researchers like the author.

Using a mixture of honesty and comedy, the author related the discovery of his own adoption before high school graduation. Though the admission created thousands of questions in his mind, he respected his adoptive parents' decision not to tell him and explained the reasons why within the memoir. Many family members, biological or not, appeared throughout the book and directed the author's search with their revelations. Sometimes he found out a name or a place. Not every tidbit of information brought the right answers, but they helped to shape the picture of his ancestry. Finding his mother's side of the family wasn't very difficult once he began to look. She stayed with his adopted parents while she was pregnant. Getting the answers to his father's identity was a longer, more difficult journey.

Before the onset of the internet, the only way to find out genealogical information was to contact the county clerks in the city or county and fill out petitions, in person or through the mail, for birth certificates, death certificates or other such public information. These petitions often required some proof of relationship in order to be approved. An adoptee looking for such information would have to go above and beyond for such petitions to be granted. Wait times could be anywhere from a few days to months before an answer came in the mail. The author struggled with rejections on several occasions along the way. Once more and more information became available online, the author was able to find more connections at a better pace. Through the DNA testing offered at Ancestry's website, he narrowed down the number of men who could be his father. Of course, that answer also proved to be tricky until advanced DNA testing came out years later.

Throughout the entire story and all its ups and downs, I felt as though I was walking alongside the author. Each discovery, no matter good or bad, brought hope that he would get the answers he longed to know from the moment he knew of his adoption. The author's writing style made it very easy to feel like I knew him for years, and all the people he had contact with became my friends as well. I really liked how he stayed positive and held onto the hope of answers during the darkest moments. It was an eye-opener to realize that not every adoptee's story could end so well. That made me sad, because I feel like everyone should know their roots. Not only was the memoir an enjoyable read, the author used his work to help others in the same situation by providing a section of links and agencies that will help people with their own searches. So, if you're a lover of nonfiction memoirs tinged with comedy or a fellow searcher of roots, this book will make you smile, laugh and sometimes cry, but definitely worth the read.

[Matthew Harbowy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall, this is an excellent book for the beginning genealogist. Many people will be inspired by the successes and difficulties that Richard faced, and he has written this in a very readable, linear narration. With so many unknowns and blind corners as he faced, this book should also appeal to people who love a good mystery novel. I think this story has the potential to become a timeless addition to some reader's shelves.

This book also provides an excellent case study in scientific research. One of the deeper conclusions which can be drawn from this text is that it provides an object lesson in the difference between most probable truth, and actual truth. It should also provide an object lesson in the limits (as well as advantages) of DNA testing, particularly with an eye for use of a limited number of STR markers. Under no circumstances should a highly probable conclusion be accepted until all of the other likely possibilities can be ruled out using a test of sufficient resolution.

One of my lingering concerns about this book is that it provides very little context beyond a very personal story. For some readers, this is going to be a good thing- it avoids projecting the discouragement the author clearly experienced onto the reader: of the form, "well, he had setbacks, how am I going to possibly overcome that when faced with that kind of challenge?" However, there's very little to indicate exactly how difficult if the average person, interested in genealogy, attempts to trace their own tree.

Richard's experience is fairly representative, I think, even though a good percentage of people will face much thicker brick walls. The past comes to us in a sophisticated game of telephone, in which the simple errors of communication often amplify the effect of casuistry and outright prevarication. "It was a different time", it is said, when "fallen girls" would be whisked off in secrecy. His handling of what would be an outright scandal, "unspeakable", in some circles is adept and non-judgmental. If anything, the ability of himself and others to overcome popular prejudices and speak the truth is probably one of the most important factors in allowing him to make breakthroughs in his roadblocks.

I think that there are a lot of people who would have declared their own searches "done" in many of the earlier chapters because the provisional "facts" confirmed their own prejudices, and Richard does an exceptional job of treading the thin line between self-deception and "digging up old bones"- truths that injure more than they edify. It's one thing to believe fortuitous and happy lies to blur painful truths, but taking those secrets to the grave may cause irreparable harm in completely unanticipated ways. In some ways, reading this on a kindle where I wasn't watching or feeling the page number led me to feel very "mystery solved!" at a number of points too early. I consider myself fairly sophisticated, and my ability to fool myself with such a clear, plainly written tale should prove to most readers of this review that when I say simple, it doesn't mean easy.

Listening to your own reactions as the book progresses and as the story changes direction is in some ways, more instructive in your own biases and self-deceptions than it is about genealogy. As such, I highly recommend this book not for the genealogist shelf, but for moral instruction. This book would be a welcome addition at a number of Ethical Culture society and Unitarian Universalist Sunday school shelves.

For people with considerable experience in the field of genealogy, particularly genetic genealogy, this book is not going to provide you with anything you don't already know. This is why I am giving the book three stars: because for me, it seemed to read at a high-school level, and I was hoping for the story to be interspersed with a bit of generalizable advice. However, when trying to explain this field to others this book might be much more engaging to the general population, and especially due to the exceptionally clear and unsophisticated narrative, I would recommend this book to both mid-grade and high school readers. Taken as that- as biography, not as an instruction manual, this is a highly readable and personable story. The lack of "how-to" advice, which in this field can so quickly become dated, might promise to make this book much more of a timeless classic.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finding Family was an engaging read with the best possible outcome for the author. Mr Hill's decency and thoughtfulness rang through this book as he made the decision to search for his biological family. I appreciated how thoroughly he outlined the process and how he never whitewashed how complicated and fraught it can be. He took on many poignant issues as he searched for his birth mother and father, especially around the sexual lives of his birth parents and its implications for the next generations. One point that I disagree with Mr. Hill is about his belief in the importance of not hurting family members in the search process. While a laudable goal I think, at times a family member might feel hurt during a search and it may not be helped. For example, there are adoptive parents who do feel hurt that their child wants to look for a parent and while respecting their feelings and being as reassuring as possible, a person who is adopted might need to do it anyway and this is OK. Other than that, this was a heartwarming, well-written story and I am thrilled for the author that he found what he needed in his journey.

One other thought is that Mr Hill rated his own book on Goodreads and I think it is best to trust the readers of your book to do that.

Thank you to NetGalley for allowing me the opportunity to review this book for an honest opinion.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I came across this book last weekend while searching our local library's catalog for basic books on DNA and genetics. I am an adoptee currently searching for additional biological relatives. The information Mr. Hill provided regarding the various genetic testing options available was extremely useful for me as I find it overwhelming at times to sift through all of the information returned in a Google search on this topic!

Reading Mr. Hill's account of his multi-decade search for his biological roots was captivating. I appreciate the fact that he and his family were willing to share their story. While everyone's family circumstances are unique, I was able to relate to several aspects of his search which have encouraged me to not give up on completing the rest of my own search.

I highly recommend this book and have just ordered two copies--one to keep for myself and one to share with my birth family.

[Toni Mccreash]

This book is a fantastic read. It hooks you on the first page. This is the story of an adopted man's journey to find his birth parents. It took him over 30 years to answer his questions, but one of the many lessons of this book is that don't give up. He documented and analyzed every angle of a situation and went after the paper trail. One of the most fascinating pieces I learned is the multiple birth certificates and how he used different names on a hunch and was successful. I was fascinated by the need to do multiple DNA tests as the first test led him to believe his father was one person, but additional DNA testing proved it was someone else (a different brother). I highly recommend reading this book. There is much to learn from Mr. Hill's experience.

[Helen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir is a tale of perseverance over many years in one man's search for answers about his origins. The effort he put into his search is enormous. I understand what drives him because I am still searching. It is one of very few books that incorporate the magic of DNA testing as an aid to crack such a case, although you can encounter many similar stories online now. I would especially recommend this book to those looking for easy answers and those ready to give up, to give them some perspective about what may be required of them and how the passage of time can help them in more ways than one.

[Producervan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding Family: My Search for Roots and the Secrets in My DNA by Richard Hill. ©2017. Kindle edition. Nonfiction. 5 Stars. This is an engrossing look at the author’s search for his biological parents. An interesting read through the struggles, disappointments and gifts of unexpected love and acceptance, the author triumphs in a world where people don’t surrender their secrets easily or gladly. Highly recommend for genetic genealogy enthusiasts. This book has a concise informative bit at the end which is easy to understand.

[Carola Hume · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book, it was an easy read, hard to put down, with lots of suspense to keep the reader interested. I think an audience from late- teens to 100 years old would enjoy this book. It would make a good birthday or Christmas gift.

[Barbara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Because I love family history, this book was a great read. It's about a man that was adopted and his journey to find his biological family. It was a fast read. I read it in two days. I thought it was a fascinating story. It also broadened my understanding of DNA and its use in family history.

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great genealogy book! Loved the research and the great discoveries

[Kristie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I couldn't put this down (except for sleep and work)! It's a fascinating true story of one adopted man's quest to find the truth about his biological parents and heritage.

[Maria N. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Richard Hill’s Finding Family is not just a memoir it’s a gripping personal mystery, an inspiring guide for genealogical sleuths, and a testament to the resilience of the human spirit in the search for identity. From the very first page, Hill draws readers into the intimate yet suspense filled journey of an adoptee determined to uncover the truth about his origins, despite the brick walls of sealed birth records and decades of unanswered questions.

Hill’s writing blends the pacing of a seasoned thriller with the heartfelt candor of a memoir. We follow him as he collects fragments of information about his birth, piecing them together like a master detective. His quest is not only fueled by persistence, but also by a willingness to embrace new and innovative tools most notably his pioneering use of DNA testing in the early days of genetic genealogy. The result is a narrative that feels both deeply personal and universally relatable for anyone who has ever wondered about the story of their own roots.

The structure of the book mirrors the emotional landscape of the search: moments of exhilarating breakthroughs are followed by heartbreaking setbacks, false leads, and tantalizing near misses. Yet Hill’s perseverance, bolstered by the help of friends, genealogists, and the growing online adoption search community, keeps the reader invested in every twist and turn. The eventual revelation of his family’s truth is delivered with the kind of dramatic punch that could rival a Hollywood script but without sacrificing the dignity and authenticity of real life.

Beyond the personal story, Finding Family stands as a valuable resource. Hill devotes part of the book to explaining the science of DNA testing and genetic genealogy in clear, accessible language. He demystifies complex processes, offering step by step guidance for adoptees and others conducting family history research. His emphasis on both traditional research methods and cutting edge DNA tools makes this book uniquely practical while remaining emotionally engaging.

At its core, this is more than a story about tracing bloodlines it’s about reclaiming identity, finding closure, and honoring the humanity of the people who shaped our lives, whether we knew them or not. Hill treats the individuals in his story, especially his birth mother, with compassion and respect, portraying them not as plot devices but as real human beings whose choices and circumstances were shaped by their time.

For adoptees, genealogists, or anyone intrigued by the intersection of science, mystery, and human connection, Finding Family is both a guide and an inspiration. It reassures those still searching that persistence can yield answers, while reminding us all that the story of where we come from is, in many ways, the story of who we are.

Verdict: A masterfully told, deeply moving, and practically useful account of one man’s search for truth, Finding Family belongs on the shelf of every adoption searcher, DNA detective, and lover of true life mysteries. Richard Hill’s courage and resourcefulness make this not just a book to read, but one to revisit for wisdom, encouragement, and hope.

[Michelle N · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to the audiobook version of this book.

I have a keen interest in Genealogy and totally enjoyed this book. It's like a mystery novel, but about a family's history.
Richard Hill's determination and resilience for finding all the puzzle piezes and putting them all together is admirable.

[Edith · Rating 4 out of 5]

My review as posted on Netgalley: I very much enjoyed reading Richard's story of discovering his origin. The book had a wonderful pace and the real life characters were well developed. The author wrote beautifully about his parents, the Hills, Jackie and the people in her life, never judged anyone involved for the choices they made - to hide his adoption, to have extramarital affairs, to divorce, to be promiscuous, or to drive under the influence. There was no blame. There was no villain. There were just the facts recounted in a very loving way. I appreciated the author's unconditional acceptance of the events that led to his adoption and the journey to find the answers.

I am not adopted. I chose to read this book because I like reading true stories about personal journeys. Reading this book was like sitting with an old friend and hearing him share a piece of his history with me. Richard's account of the start, stall, stop of the process rang very true! I was there when a very close friend from my childhood began her search for her birth parents. Her search took 30 years to find all (?) the answers, too! Many of the younger readers will not be able to relate to the limitations and lack of immediate information at the click of a button; I remember searching on microfilm in public libraries to get a clue or new piece of the puzzle. The author wrote beautifully of the evolution of scientific testing and its accuracy as well as the progression of information sharing on the internet.

Kudos, Richard Hill, for your courage to take the journey. Many thanks for sharing your story with the world.

[Bob Grenier · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a true story about a man who discovered he was adopted. His adopted parents never told him about his birth mother although they supported her during the last months of her pregnancy and paid all expenses. He learns about this accidentally just before starting college.

He begins his search many years later after his father tells him that he has a brother and urges him to find him.

There are many frustrations with the inaccuracy of records - sometime deliberate.

Finding birth-mother and half-brother is much easier than birth-father.

I found the story very interesting. Once I started, I could not put it down. It is an easy read, and I finished in a 3-4 hours.

I bought the kindle edition. A bonus eBook explaining the various DNA tests was included at no cost. It would be helpful for anyone considering taking a test.

[Mary Alaga · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was fascinating from beginning to end and filled with useful information, not too hard to understand.

It was also an eye-opening book in that I never thought about how hard it must be for those who were adopted and have no starting point to begin a search for family. I need to quit whining about my problems with my genealogy search. At least I know who my parents were.

I initially bought this book as I wanted to know a little more about DNA research and what it could do for me. (Answer: not a lot as I am female and it's application to me, without a brother, are very limited).

Ultimately what I learned is There are no secrets anymore. Can't wait until they start testing the DNA on the bones of King and Queens etc.

[M · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked this book partly because I can relate to some of it. The author makes his search for his family interesting and encouraging if you are doing something similar yourself. Even if you can't personally relate to this type of research, if you enjoy a good mystery this book is for you. There are plenty of twists and turns and knowing that it is a true story makes it that much more interesting.

I really admire his step-father for giving him some info to start him on his journey. Plus the feel good feelings you have of his positive experiences with meeting new family or people who knew them back when.

Hill offers plenty of insight and or tips on how to do similar research. As well as offer you plenty of excitement on what will happen next.

[Lyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finding Family
What a wonderful book. Richard Hill accidentally learns of his adoption. What he does next is remarkable. Hill continued to respect and honor is parents waiting until the best time to reveal his knowledge. Later we follow him on his journey towards the discovery of his birth family and the secrets surrounding his adoption placement. This is a book of DNA and scientific facts – yet it is filled with love, hope, mystery and family. Great for genealogists to discover “another side” of family trees. Enjoy! NetGalley and CreateSpace provided an advanced review copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!

[Janice · Rating 5 out of 5]

This self published book is the story of an adoptees search for his birth parents. He was one of the first people to successfully use DNA testing for genetic genealogy. He documented his search, over the course of about 30 years. Mr. Hill was very resourceful and his book is full of great tips, ideas and information that would be helpful to any genealogist, adoptee, or birth parent. I also reviewed this book at WikiTree, my favorite genealogy site.

The author has a web site, www.DNA-Testing-Adviser.com

[Debra]

For those in search, they will find it fascinating and helpful. My father was adopted in Illinois which was closed till only a few years ago. We received his original birth certificate only two years ago. After reading Richards book, I realize now that even these documents are speculative. We did find out that me father had a sister, actually two. One was adopted. One we know of, but she does not want contact unfortunately.

[Connie · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I have ever read. It's about a man who finds out he's adopted and doesn't decide to persue it until he is 32. But his story is about him doing DNA testing to find his biological roots. I think his first DNA test was in the late 80s-early 90s. Tests that long ago aren't as accurate as they are today so he is even more confused. SO he takes another one. And it gets better from there. I highly recommend!!

[Trish · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an interesting read, especially since, as an adoptee, I am in the process of trying to connect with my birth father. The story of this man's search, combined with how he ended up using DNA to settle once and for all who his father was, could provide good information for any member of the adoption triad seeking to connect with another member of that triad.

[Diane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great real life mystery story!

Fascinating story of Richard Hill's decades long search for his biological parents. Lots of twists and turns and misinformation complicated his search. Along the way he met new family and friends that might have been but didn't turn out to be family. An early user of DNA testing he learned along the way.

[Michele · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful story. I enjoyed the ups and downs of Richard's journey to find out who he really was genetically. This book will be a great help to anyone who is researching their ancestry/adoption using DNA. I bought an extra copy and donated it to my locale library hoping it will help others in their search.

[Patrick Finney]

A spectacular read! A perfect book for someone looking for their family! I found mine at the age of 60 and could relate to Richard’s story. What a story! You won’t be able to put it down until you finish the book!

[Evelyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Using DNA to find relatives

Interesting story of author's search for his birth parents. He was adopted in a closed adoption (1940's) and takes the reader along on his journey to discover who his birth parents were.