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The Woman in the Photograph
Mani Feniger's new memoir/biography, "The Woman in the Photograph," is a compelling narrative set in motion by an unexpected meeting with history. With the fall of the Berlin Wall, the door to her mother’s vanished past sprang open and what Mani discovered irrevocably changed her life. Her surprising, beautifully written memoir reads like a detective story. It will stir your curiosity and make you wonder about the man or woman in your own photographs and how your life has been influenced by events you know little about.
...an eloquent account of a daughter's transformative journey into the heart of her mother's hidden life. (Elizabeth Rosner, Speed of Light)
...Mani's evocative book unfolds like a mystery. The story has a heartbeat... (Sue Bender, Plain and Simple)
...an eloquent account of a daughter's transformative journey into the heart of her mother's hidden life. (Elizabeth Rosner, Speed of Light)
...Mani's evocative book unfolds like a mystery. The story has a heartbeat... (Sue Bender, Plain and Simple)
248 pages, Paperback
First published June 1, 2012
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600 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 82 reviews
July 30, 2023
During the author's growing up years in Brooklyn she knew her mother and many of the extended family were among the "lucky" German Jews who managed to escape before the Nazis closed the border. Her mother said little about her past except for occasional expressions of disappointment. The young author wasn't all that curious about the past anyway, so she didn't ask anymore questions about her mother's past.
After her mother's death the author came across a photograph of her mother and aunt as young women and realized that her mother must have had a prior life that was profoundly different from her later hard scrabble life as a struggling widow with children.
Her dentist grandfather whom she had previously assumed had been killed by the Nazis had instead died suddenly from a stroke and her grandmother had died by suicide the following year leaving the two young adult daughters struggling with ways to export what was left of their inheritance out of the country. Their father had died without revealing his Swiss bank account numbers, a plan to export wealth to Palestine failed when a relative kept it for himself, and a trunk of keepsakes shipped to New York was not shared with them by the relatives to whom it was sent. All that the sisters were able to take out of the country ended up being themselves and what they carried.
After the author was satisfied that she had pieced together the available information about her mother's early life she decide to travel to Leipzig, Germany with her husband and visit the address where her mother's family had lived which was destroyed during WWII and is now bare ground.
After her mother's death the author came across a photograph of her mother and aunt as young women and realized that her mother must have had a prior life that was profoundly different from her later hard scrabble life as a struggling widow with children.
I was stunned by the image of my mother ... . The woman in this photograph is not my mother, I thought. I recognized her proud profile; otherwise she bore little resemblance to the person I had known all my life. The mother I knew was frugal and practical. ... But it was not just the elegance of her attire that startled me so. The most striking difference was that the woman I knew was never still. ... She was on guard, jumping at the sound of a car horn, snapping with impatience if you kept her waiting. The woman in this photograph is calm, poised, self-possessed. She is at home in the world, and in herself.Thus began the author's search and series of interviews seeking information about her mother's early life and escape from Germany. Her detective work revealed layer after layer of a story that started out as an apparently happy well to do middle class living situation in Leipzig dissolving into sad tragedy and untrustworthy friends and relatives.
Her dentist grandfather whom she had previously assumed had been killed by the Nazis had instead died suddenly from a stroke and her grandmother had died by suicide the following year leaving the two young adult daughters struggling with ways to export what was left of their inheritance out of the country. Their father had died without revealing his Swiss bank account numbers, a plan to export wealth to Palestine failed when a relative kept it for himself, and a trunk of keepsakes shipped to New York was not shared with them by the relatives to whom it was sent. All that the sisters were able to take out of the country ended up being themselves and what they carried.
After the author was satisfied that she had pieced together the available information about her mother's early life she decide to travel to Leipzig, Germany with her husband and visit the address where her mother's family had lived which was destroyed during WWII and is now bare ground.
We both knelt on the ground, listening and breathing until words came. "May all be forgiven. May everyone be liberated from an burden of blame. May the pain between my mother and her family be put to rest, no more hatred to be carried from this day forth.They then visited the cemetery where her grandfather and grandmother were buried. Luckily the Jewish cemetery in Leipzig survived the Nazi era and is now taken care of.
May the trauma between German and Jew acknowledged and brought to completion. From this day forward, no victim, no oppressor. May all beings be free of suffering. May this land be free to nourish new life."
I reached into my pocket and took out a rose quartz stone I had brought with me from home and placed it on this grave that had remained without a visitor for seventy years, probably since my mother left Germany in 1935.Near the end of the book the author reflects on lessons learned. She acknowledges that she knows that she was loved by her mother and that her own life circumstances are blessed compared to those of her mother. However, she doesn't need to inherit everything.
Michael and I closed our eyes, each with our own prayer. Then I spoke.
"I am sitting on the bones of my grandparents. They have crossed over to another plane and the things they did or did not do, the words they said or did not say, are no longer relevant. They are my grandparents and I thank them for the gift of life they gave to Alice, and she in turn, passed on to me. I acknowledge the pain that they may have inflicted, and forgive them for anyway they caused my mother to suffer. Now Alice is also free. ... she has returned to her pure spirit."
... I didn't need to accept everything she gave me, like her fears that people would let you down when you needed them, or the conviction that danger lurked behind every unguarded moment. This part of my inheritance I gently buried in the Leipzig cemetery.
August 15, 2012
This book really makes you wonder how much the people who came before you are affecting your life. It captures you and tells you a story that makes you want to read more.
December 4, 2014
This book will move you to tears, both of sadness and joy, as the author searches for a usable past, one that answers the mysterious silences of her childhood and early adulthood, and one that can heal deep wounds just barely covered over with thin stories, sighs, and vague references.
At one level the book tells a holocaust story, demonstrating that more than six million Jews were affected by the Nazi terror. Even the "lucky ones" like Mani's parents, aunt and uncle, who arrived safely in America before the final extermination, could not escape the confiscation of their property, and, even more painfully, their identities. They passed unto their children both fear and denial, huge gaps that could only be overcome with persistent research, interviews, helpful relationships built on newly-forged trust.
The book reads like a detective story and thus pulls the reader from start to finish. It has a poetic, haunting quality of understated eloquence. I was especially moved by the prayer at the spot in Leipzig where Mani goes to find the place where her grandmother jumped to her death. Her willingness to forgive and her determination that the dark shadow not continue past her generation was the most moving part of all for me.
At one level the book tells a holocaust story, demonstrating that more than six million Jews were affected by the Nazi terror. Even the "lucky ones" like Mani's parents, aunt and uncle, who arrived safely in America before the final extermination, could not escape the confiscation of their property, and, even more painfully, their identities. They passed unto their children both fear and denial, huge gaps that could only be overcome with persistent research, interviews, helpful relationships built on newly-forged trust.
The book reads like a detective story and thus pulls the reader from start to finish. It has a poetic, haunting quality of understated eloquence. I was especially moved by the prayer at the spot in Leipzig where Mani goes to find the place where her grandmother jumped to her death. Her willingness to forgive and her determination that the dark shadow not continue past her generation was the most moving part of all for me.
August 24, 2012
Moving story that made me want to go back and research my own family, my own history. I highly recommend!
December 2, 2015
"I always knew she loved me, but I didn’t need to accept everything she gave me, like her fears that people would let you down when you needed them, or the conviction that danger lurked behind every unguarded moment." ~ Mani Feniger, The Woman in the Photograph
If you choose to read The Woman in the Photograph by Mani Feniger, be certain a box of tissues sits close by as they'll be needed. My tears came for mixed reasons--sadness and joy--as Feniger searches for a story that will explain the silences in her childhood and young adulthood as well as a story capable of healing deep wounds and scars.
It did not matter that the Holocaust impacted the lives of six million Jews, an underlying theme in Feniger's book, for even those able to escape like the author's parents and an aunt and uncle were stripped of their personal property and saddest of all their identities. As a result, their children received the ironic gift of fear and often denial. Years of research, digging through photos, and much more would be needed to establish a sense of trust in others.
Cleverly crafted by Feniger, The Woman in the Photograph, is a true story and yet reads as a novel would read. Filled with suspense and tension, the reader at times feels the sense of a mystery or thriller. Yet, Feniger's prose is so poetic as to draw the reader into a sense of passion and fervor.
Most touching to this reader was Feniger's commitment to stop the filtration of these negative emotions to the next generation. In order to do this, she must find forgiveness within her heart for the atrocities committed not only to her family but also unknown millions.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbDqr...]
Although this book starts somewhat slowly, I found myself being quickly drawn into reader-character relationships I had not expected. I enjoy reading about the history of World War II and despite its horrors, I find reading about those who survived the Holocaust and even those who did not to be a source of great faith in the generations gone before us. I highly recommend this book to any reader who is a history buff and would enjoy an up close read of a true story of a woman searching for the truth.
If you choose to read The Woman in the Photograph by Mani Feniger, be certain a box of tissues sits close by as they'll be needed. My tears came for mixed reasons--sadness and joy--as Feniger searches for a story that will explain the silences in her childhood and young adulthood as well as a story capable of healing deep wounds and scars.
It did not matter that the Holocaust impacted the lives of six million Jews, an underlying theme in Feniger's book, for even those able to escape like the author's parents and an aunt and uncle were stripped of their personal property and saddest of all their identities. As a result, their children received the ironic gift of fear and often denial. Years of research, digging through photos, and much more would be needed to establish a sense of trust in others.
Cleverly crafted by Feniger, The Woman in the Photograph, is a true story and yet reads as a novel would read. Filled with suspense and tension, the reader at times feels the sense of a mystery or thriller. Yet, Feniger's prose is so poetic as to draw the reader into a sense of passion and fervor.
Most touching to this reader was Feniger's commitment to stop the filtration of these negative emotions to the next generation. In order to do this, she must find forgiveness within her heart for the atrocities committed not only to her family but also unknown millions.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbDqr...]
Although this book starts somewhat slowly, I found myself being quickly drawn into reader-character relationships I had not expected. I enjoy reading about the history of World War II and despite its horrors, I find reading about those who survived the Holocaust and even those who did not to be a source of great faith in the generations gone before us. I highly recommend this book to any reader who is a history buff and would enjoy an up close read of a true story of a woman searching for the truth.
August 18, 2014
The Woman in the Photograph is a poignant account of a Jewish girl’s attempt to reconnect with her heritage. Mani Feniger has to be applauded for openly sharing something which has obviously had a big impact on her life. Holocaust survivors will relate to the story. Actually, anyone who has ever been uprooted in life will be able to empathize to some extent.
Mani is born in New York and lives in Queens with her parents and older brother. Her parents are Germans who escaped Nazi Germany. Her mother is reticent about her past and Mani grows up without knowing much about her mother’s or father’s prior life. She loses her father at a young age, after which her mother devotes herself to working and raising her family.
Throughout her life, Mani feels that her mother is a bit different. Circumstances have made the mother bitter, she thinks. Mani dabbles in some spirituality and gets the name of ‘MaNi’ from her guru which means diamond. She faces early setbacks in life and eventually settles in California.
The destruction of the Berlin wall sets some things in motion. She comes across an old photo of her mother and aunt, who are fashionably dressed looking very stylish. Mani realizes the mother she knew was never like that. She embarks on a journey to try to discover the mother in the photo.
Full review at my blog.
Mani is born in New York and lives in Queens with her parents and older brother. Her parents are Germans who escaped Nazi Germany. Her mother is reticent about her past and Mani grows up without knowing much about her mother’s or father’s prior life. She loses her father at a young age, after which her mother devotes herself to working and raising her family.
Throughout her life, Mani feels that her mother is a bit different. Circumstances have made the mother bitter, she thinks. Mani dabbles in some spirituality and gets the name of ‘MaNi’ from her guru which means diamond. She faces early setbacks in life and eventually settles in California.
The destruction of the Berlin wall sets some things in motion. She comes across an old photo of her mother and aunt, who are fashionably dressed looking very stylish. Mani realizes the mother she knew was never like that. She embarks on a journey to try to discover the mother in the photo.
Full review at my blog.
May 30, 2016
When I began reading, I thought I’d read a few chapters then head to the kitchen to make dinner. That never happened. With the help of a pot of coffee, I finished Mani Feniger’s book in a little less than 6 hours. It’s not often a memoir will capture me like this one has. I was fascinated by the author’s determination to learn more about her mother and the journey she took to get there. We all have relatives we don’t particularly care for, but when I read about the Aunt and Uncle who stole the cows, I was livid. I wanted to strangle these people! Mani’s Mother went to great lengths to keep her past hidden from her kids and we will never really know why. To say she was a survivor would be an understatement. Mani found not only her own roots, but discovered a side of history we aren’t taught in school. This book truly touched my heart in many different ways. It’s a book that I won’t soon forget and one I will be recommending to all my friends.
March 23, 2015
I find it a bit difficult to critique a true story, and doing it for this one is no different. This was a good book - a good story, but the last 25% of the book, when the author found closure, was lacking something. The author had a bit of a rough go with her Mother who left Germany prior to WWII. After her Mother's passing, the author decided she needed to research her Mother's history and her own German-Jewish history, as well. I enjoyed the book immensely until the point she travelled to Germany to find that history "in person." I just found that the story became tedious and a bit boring. Maybe she finished the book from this point too quickly. I loved seeing the pictures of the author's Mom and sister - they really added to the backstory and I'm glad they were included. While I'm glad I read this book, considering how good it was in the beginning, I expected more at the end.
January 2, 2015
A new challenge unfolds in each chapter, and I'm rooting all the way for Ms Feniger to make new connections with her mother.
Halfway through the book comes the big revelation: "I thought that because I was born in America, I wasn't really affected by the persecution of the Jews or whatever happened to my relatives--not personally--but I was wrong. I do carry the weight of what occurred before I was born." (p 116)
Someone has said that the strongest ties are the invisible ones. In this book we find how even the secrets of one generation find ways to leak out and speak to the next generation.
Halfway through the book comes the big revelation: "I thought that because I was born in America, I wasn't really affected by the persecution of the Jews or whatever happened to my relatives--not personally--but I was wrong. I do carry the weight of what occurred before I was born." (p 116)
Someone has said that the strongest ties are the invisible ones. In this book we find how even the secrets of one generation find ways to leak out and speak to the next generation.
May 20, 2015
Waste of time.
Boring. I read about three quarters of this book. It just kept getting more boring by each page. The opportunity of getting money by doing research on her mother's past was the motivating factor for her quest. She left no stone unturned if she thought there was a penny under it. The unfortunate part was that she didn't even like her mother. Then she writes a boring book to make sure she gets every penny out other mother life story. Did she think for one moment, that her mother would have been very upset by the author exposing intimate details of her mother's life. It was her mother's story to tell, not the authors.
eca
Boring. I read about three quarters of this book. It just kept getting more boring by each page. The opportunity of getting money by doing research on her mother's past was the motivating factor for her quest. She left no stone unturned if she thought there was a penny under it. The unfortunate part was that she didn't even like her mother. Then she writes a boring book to make sure she gets every penny out other mother life story. Did she think for one moment, that her mother would have been very upset by the author exposing intimate details of her mother's life. It was her mother's story to tell, not the authors.
eca
June 6, 2013
This is an achievement extraordinaire. I found this book fulfilling, as it is accessibly written and its sentimentality rewarding. I recommend it to others for whom family roots are of great import.
May 13, 2020
Well researched
I appreciated the attention to detail but also that it was very readable. I felt like I was going on the journey into the past with her. Loved the historical insight.
I appreciated the attention to detail but also that it was very readable. I felt like I was going on the journey into the past with her. Loved the historical insight.
February 18, 2019
A well written search for her mother's past in escaping Nazi Germany.
September 24, 2016
Sometimes you CAN "judge a book by its cover."
I read this beautiful book several years ago, drawn by the haunting picture on the cover. During a switch from one Kindle to another, it was deleted and I couldn't remember the name to reorder it. I looked again recently because I reviewed a book on creating e-book covers and I wanted to reference this as a fine example. Anyway, I'm happy to have it back on my Kindle and I enjoyed reading it today as much as I did the first time.
If you avoid books about the Holocaust because they are so inexpressibly sad, I can only tell you that I'm glad I didn't pass on this one. It IS about the Holocaust and its lingering effects on the survivors, but it's also an intelligent, sensitive look at families and relationships, past and present. The sisters in the picture had a complicated relationship, as do Ms. Feniger and her brother. Her mother was scarred, not only by her experiences in Nazi Germany, but by her childhood with a passive mother and an abusive father. Mani and her mother were ultimately able to forge a strong, loving relationship, but family secrets always stood between them. As a relative says, "Everything has been buried so long...."
A recurring theme is the innate (we must suppose) personality or character that enables one person to survive a horrible experience emotionally intact while another is crushed and embittered. What gives a person the confidence and resilience to go through hell and remain loving and open and optimistic? Is it instilled by parenting or is it embedded in our DNA?
It's sometimes said of a book that it raises more questions than it answers, but there are some questions for which there ARE no answers. I think that this author has used the difficulties in her life to develop a deep understanding of human nature. This book makes you THINK and that's the highest compliment I can pay.
I read this beautiful book several years ago, drawn by the haunting picture on the cover. During a switch from one Kindle to another, it was deleted and I couldn't remember the name to reorder it. I looked again recently because I reviewed a book on creating e-book covers and I wanted to reference this as a fine example. Anyway, I'm happy to have it back on my Kindle and I enjoyed reading it today as much as I did the first time.
If you avoid books about the Holocaust because they are so inexpressibly sad, I can only tell you that I'm glad I didn't pass on this one. It IS about the Holocaust and its lingering effects on the survivors, but it's also an intelligent, sensitive look at families and relationships, past and present. The sisters in the picture had a complicated relationship, as do Ms. Feniger and her brother. Her mother was scarred, not only by her experiences in Nazi Germany, but by her childhood with a passive mother and an abusive father. Mani and her mother were ultimately able to forge a strong, loving relationship, but family secrets always stood between them. As a relative says, "Everything has been buried so long...."
A recurring theme is the innate (we must suppose) personality or character that enables one person to survive a horrible experience emotionally intact while another is crushed and embittered. What gives a person the confidence and resilience to go through hell and remain loving and open and optimistic? Is it instilled by parenting or is it embedded in our DNA?
It's sometimes said of a book that it raises more questions than it answers, but there are some questions for which there ARE no answers. I think that this author has used the difficulties in her life to develop a deep understanding of human nature. This book makes you THINK and that's the highest compliment I can pay.
August 9, 2013
This is the sort of quest I'd like to go on one day.
November 29, 2013
Interesting memoir of a daughter tracing her Jewish mother's life in Germany prior to WWII and escape to America.
August 10, 2014
Very tender account of mother daughter relationship and how all is not what it initially appears.
May 19, 2013
This was a good book. I enjoyed it immensely.
July 19, 2013
An interesting account of a daughter's relentless search for her mother's past
October 11, 2019
I wanted to like this book, I really did. It being a historical memoir, I had much higher hopes and those were dashed fairly quickly. The author is selfish and self-centered with no consideration of the others that may have been affected by the same history her parents were subjected to. Her grandfather was a heinous nazi and her grandmother was complacent in that but her lack of empathy for the victims and immediate willingness to forgive her grandparents and even attempting to justify it made me ill. The worst part of the whole book was her lack of sympathy when visiting villagers with PTSD from her grandfather's actions she shows no empathy as she continues to press for more information. Their strong emotions don't even seem to effect her or sink in. What's most ridiculous is she is most concerned about her inheritance and even calls her aunt (one of the only likable humans in the story) on her death bed to tell her that they FOUND THE MONEY! So gross. No remorse at her aunts death. Her whole motivation was certainly not motivating to the reader. And, her whole humanizing of her monster of a grandfather made me sick to my stomach. It is apparent that her and her parents share those selfish self-centered genes that her grandparents thrived on. Oh, and the book was boring t'boot and she is a horrible writer. DO NOT RECOMMEND and would never want to know this woman.
April 5, 2019
One of the sad things about human nature is that even people who you thought were friends can cheat you and scam you. We all know about the human life lost during the Holocaust but this book shows how the people who did escape and survive were cheated. This made me feel rotten about human nature. (I know there are good people who help when we're down, but there were a lot of people willing to con the Jews who were desperate to get out of Germany.) For instance, this is what happened to the author's mother and aunt. Jews who got visas to enter other countries were allowed to leave Germany, but they were not allowed to take anything--no money, no bankbooks, no jewelry, no silverware, no nothing. Imagine moving to another country and you're not allowed to bring five cents with you. Non-Jewish friends would say they'd open a Swiss bank account for them, or buy them livestock to sell in another country. Then, the money or the livestock mysteriously disappeared, leaving the sisters scammed out of their money.
I'm glad the author found the background to her mother's life. It sure makes me sad and mad that there are people out there who will kick you when you're down, as even friends, lovers, and relatives of the Jews did to them in the 1930's.
I'm glad the author found the background to her mother's life. It sure makes me sad and mad that there are people out there who will kick you when you're down, as even friends, lovers, and relatives of the Jews did to them in the 1930's.
October 20, 2017
Well written poignant memoir.
This made me curious about my own family. I'm too old now to start such a task, but if I had it to do over again there are many questions I would like answered. Maybe one of my many nieces or nephews will be curious enough to pick up the threads.
As for this book, I was most engaged during the search, and the times the author described Alice and Erica's lives. It got a little annoying when she got maudlin.
This made me curious about my own family. I'm too old now to start such a task, but if I had it to do over again there are many questions I would like answered. Maybe one of my many nieces or nephews will be curious enough to pick up the threads.
As for this book, I was most engaged during the search, and the times the author described Alice and Erica's lives. It got a little annoying when she got maudlin.
August 12, 2018
I am finding that I am being drawn to read books dealing with this issue. The story of these people and families who are able to reconnect with their ancestors who were lost in Germany during the war is so compelling. I wonder how emotional a journey like this would be. I like Mani Feniger's story and her families struggle. I wish the cattle hadn't died and that the trunks were found.
August 17, 2018
Interesting Informative
This was a great book about a woman,who went thru her mother's past in order to better understand the woman who raised her & it all started with an old photograph.
This is one of hundreds of books,that I have read about the Holocaust & it being non fiction made all the difference.
Highly recommend !
This was a great book about a woman,who went thru her mother's past in order to better understand the woman who raised her & it all started with an old photograph.
This is one of hundreds of books,that I have read about the Holocaust & it being non fiction made all the difference.
Highly recommend !
May 4, 2019
I found the subject very intriguing and I liked how the author tried to structure it like a mystery novel. But overall I think it needed polish. And it left me with a lot of unanswered questions that seemed intentionally omitted. I would still recommend it, especially for families of genocide survivors.
March 3, 2020
This was a very interesting story, but it was also bittersweet. Too bad Mani's mother
did not open up about her life in Europe while she was still alive. And it's a shame Mani was not
interested enough to ask her mother about her past existence and didn't really seem to care
much about it until her mother passed away.
did not open up about her life in Europe while she was still alive. And it's a shame Mani was not
interested enough to ask her mother about her past existence and didn't really seem to care
much about it until her mother passed away.
April 17, 2021
The Search For My Mother's Past, EBk-M, Kindle, @ 6/2012, Read 4/17/21. Biography, Nonfiction, Germany, Jews, Holocaust, Genealogy, U.S., Immigrants. A woman finds an old picture of her mother and aunt, and realizes she doesn't recognize her mother. Over the course of 20+ years, she struggles to find and know the woman in the photo. 4☆'s = Very Good.
September 12, 2021
Fantastic, Beautifully Written
I totally enjoyed this book and I thank Mani for sharing her mother's story with us. I cried, I smiled, I grieved, I experienced renewal with them all. I really felt that I was looking at the world and walking with Mani's mother.
If you are awestruck by the stories of people and their histories, you will enjoy this book.
I totally enjoyed this book and I thank Mani for sharing her mother's story with us. I cried, I smiled, I grieved, I experienced renewal with them all. I really felt that I was looking at the world and walking with Mani's mother.
If you are awestruck by the stories of people and their histories, you will enjoy this book.
January 14, 2018
Poignant
After reading this story I realize how little I know about my own family, parents and grandparents. It’s quite sad.
After reading this story I realize how little I know about my own family, parents and grandparents. It’s quite sad.
July 1, 2020
Interesting story of new age daughter discovering the truth about her mother, a German Jewish refugee who never talked about her previous life.
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