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Only Say Good Things: Surviving Playboy and Finding Myself
A raw and unflinching look at the objectification and misogyny of the Playboy mansion, a woman’s stolen young adulthood and her journey to self-acceptance, and a rare look inside Hugh Hefner’s final days.
At just twenty-one years old, Crystal Harris’ life changed forever when she attended a party at the notorious Playboy mansion. Picked out of the crowd by Hugh Hefner, she became one of his infamous “girlfriends,” attending glamorous Hollywood parties and traveling the world. Yet this seemingly alluring lifestyle had a dark side. Hef controlled his girlfriends with strict rules regarding everything from their hair and makeup to their curfews, and Crystal was forced to compete with other women for her spot in the highly hierarchal system. Living at the mansion, she felt more like a fixture than a resident.
She quickly rose to the top, but being Hef’s number one girlfriend came at the cost of Crystal’s identity outside her role in the Playboy universe. Her fate seemed sealed when Hef surprised her with a marriage proposal she could not imagine refusing. But as Crystal Hefner, she grew increasingly restless to understand who she truly was away from what she saw as Playboy’s toxic culture.
In ONLY SAY GOOD THINGS, Crystal offers a vulnerable and clear-eyed look at how her experience with Hugh Hefner catalyzed her transformative journey from someone who prized external validation over all else to a person who finally recognizes her true worth. This candid memoir provides a fascinating look behind the scenes at a powerful cultural icon and brand, and an equally empowering perspective on hard-won lessons about who we allow to determine our value.
At just twenty-one years old, Crystal Harris’ life changed forever when she attended a party at the notorious Playboy mansion. Picked out of the crowd by Hugh Hefner, she became one of his infamous “girlfriends,” attending glamorous Hollywood parties and traveling the world. Yet this seemingly alluring lifestyle had a dark side. Hef controlled his girlfriends with strict rules regarding everything from their hair and makeup to their curfews, and Crystal was forced to compete with other women for her spot in the highly hierarchal system. Living at the mansion, she felt more like a fixture than a resident.
She quickly rose to the top, but being Hef’s number one girlfriend came at the cost of Crystal’s identity outside her role in the Playboy universe. Her fate seemed sealed when Hef surprised her with a marriage proposal she could not imagine refusing. But as Crystal Hefner, she grew increasingly restless to understand who she truly was away from what she saw as Playboy’s toxic culture.
In ONLY SAY GOOD THINGS, Crystal offers a vulnerable and clear-eyed look at how her experience with Hugh Hefner catalyzed her transformative journey from someone who prized external validation over all else to a person who finally recognizes her true worth. This candid memoir provides a fascinating look behind the scenes at a powerful cultural icon and brand, and an equally empowering perspective on hard-won lessons about who we allow to determine our value.
240 pages, Hardcover
First published January 23, 2024
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,972 reviews
January 26, 2024
When I was a teenager I loved the show The Girls Next Door. It followed "the real life" of Playboy CEO Hugh Hefner's 3 very very young girlfriends, Holly, Bridget and Kendra. As I said in my review of my reread of Holly Madison's memoir, I never actually thought they were his real girlfriends. I had assumed that it was all fake, it was branding and all for show. I don't think I could have watched the show if I thought it was real. I did think that Holly was probably his companion but I never thought they had sex....I was a teenager I thought you stopped having sex at 40...so I definitely didn't think an 80 year old was still getting it in. Playboy wasn't sexual to me. It was a cute little playful wholesome brand. Yeah there were naked women but I had been raised to know that nudity isn't inherently sexual. I don't know....there were way more sexually graphic things on the internet...naked women just didn't and don't bother me.
When Holly Madison wrote her book telling her truth of time with Hef she was painted as bitter and vindictive. Then Hef died and #Metoo hit....Suddenly powerful men like Hef were being reconsidered. Hef built his empire on the bodies of young desperate women and he spent decades dating women 50 to 60 years younger than him. Hef was in his late 70's when he started dating 18 year old Kendra. I'm in my 30's and anyone under 25 is a child to me.
After Holly, Kendra and Bridget moved out Hef immediately replaced "the loves of his life" with 3 new blondes Crystal, and the Shannon twins( the twins were also teenagers) tried to continue the reality show...I didn't watch it and neither did most viewers. Hef and the producers seemed to think that the viewers were watching the show for Hef so any 3 blondes could replace them...that wasn't true. Crystal would go on to marry Hef( after she first ran away) and she was the last woman standing when he died. As a weekly listener to the Girls Next Level podcast hosted by Holly and Bridget I've been really fascinated by the Crystal years. Holly and Bridget didn't know Crystal but several people have come on the podcast to shade Crystal or at least question her motives in Hefs last years. So when I saw Crystal was writing a book I immediately had my library order it.
Crystal Harris Hefner was like most of Hefs girlfriends. She was dealing with trauma and down on her luck. Crystal even states that Mary, Hef's longtime associate said that Hef loved "broken birds". She wanted protection and comfort so she put up with a lot a shit she shouldn't have. Crystal was still grieving the deaths of 2 very important people in her life and she just wanted some place to land.
As I read this I first enjoyed getting to know Crystal who I knew nothing about. I didn't watch her season of GND or watch the wedding special The Runaway Bride until fairly recently. I also wanted to compare her experiences to those of Holly and Bridget. Crystal like most of Hef's girls has conflicted feelings about him. Bridget tends to talk about the good times, Holly has lots of anger towards Hef and Crystal seems to feel mostly sad. The Hef that Crystal writes about is a sad, selfish, shallow man. He didn't seem to actually love anyone but himself. Everything was about his image as "The Man". Crystal has no idea if Hef actually loved her or if he even loved his children. As his widow Crystal has been painted by people close to Hef as the bad guy. She jilted him at the alter before eventually marrying him. And she shut out lots of people once Hef's health began deteriorating. The lavish parties stopped and as he got sicker she stopped allowing most people to see him. Some people see this as bad...but I see this as Karma. Hef gave his girlfriends 6:30 curfews and handed them allowances like he was their dad( grandfather). He controlled what they wore, what they ate and if they could visit their families. So my thinking is that Crystal exerting her control over Hef is perfectly justified.
I like Crystal. I want her have a happy life. She removed her plastic surgery and no longer lives a life based on looks. I know Bridget is writing a book and I'm assuming given Kendra's recent awakening I think we might be getting a more honest book from her in the future.
A Must Read for GND lovers and for those of people who just want a look at life behind the Playboy curtain.
When Holly Madison wrote her book telling her truth of time with Hef she was painted as bitter and vindictive. Then Hef died and #Metoo hit....Suddenly powerful men like Hef were being reconsidered. Hef built his empire on the bodies of young desperate women and he spent decades dating women 50 to 60 years younger than him. Hef was in his late 70's when he started dating 18 year old Kendra. I'm in my 30's and anyone under 25 is a child to me.
After Holly, Kendra and Bridget moved out Hef immediately replaced "the loves of his life" with 3 new blondes Crystal, and the Shannon twins( the twins were also teenagers) tried to continue the reality show...I didn't watch it and neither did most viewers. Hef and the producers seemed to think that the viewers were watching the show for Hef so any 3 blondes could replace them...that wasn't true. Crystal would go on to marry Hef( after she first ran away) and she was the last woman standing when he died. As a weekly listener to the Girls Next Level podcast hosted by Holly and Bridget I've been really fascinated by the Crystal years. Holly and Bridget didn't know Crystal but several people have come on the podcast to shade Crystal or at least question her motives in Hefs last years. So when I saw Crystal was writing a book I immediately had my library order it.
Crystal Harris Hefner was like most of Hefs girlfriends. She was dealing with trauma and down on her luck. Crystal even states that Mary, Hef's longtime associate said that Hef loved "broken birds". She wanted protection and comfort so she put up with a lot a shit she shouldn't have. Crystal was still grieving the deaths of 2 very important people in her life and she just wanted some place to land.
As I read this I first enjoyed getting to know Crystal who I knew nothing about. I didn't watch her season of GND or watch the wedding special The Runaway Bride until fairly recently. I also wanted to compare her experiences to those of Holly and Bridget. Crystal like most of Hef's girls has conflicted feelings about him. Bridget tends to talk about the good times, Holly has lots of anger towards Hef and Crystal seems to feel mostly sad. The Hef that Crystal writes about is a sad, selfish, shallow man. He didn't seem to actually love anyone but himself. Everything was about his image as "The Man". Crystal has no idea if Hef actually loved her or if he even loved his children. As his widow Crystal has been painted by people close to Hef as the bad guy. She jilted him at the alter before eventually marrying him. And she shut out lots of people once Hef's health began deteriorating. The lavish parties stopped and as he got sicker she stopped allowing most people to see him. Some people see this as bad...but I see this as Karma. Hef gave his girlfriends 6:30 curfews and handed them allowances like he was their dad( grandfather). He controlled what they wore, what they ate and if they could visit their families. So my thinking is that Crystal exerting her control over Hef is perfectly justified.
I like Crystal. I want her have a happy life. She removed her plastic surgery and no longer lives a life based on looks. I know Bridget is writing a book and I'm assuming given Kendra's recent awakening I think we might be getting a more honest book from her in the future.
A Must Read for GND lovers and for those of people who just want a look at life behind the Playboy curtain.
January 11, 2024
Didn't think this book was going to give me more reasons to dislike Dr. Phil but here we are.
What a weird, fucked up life, and I hope Crystal is healing now and that this book helped her in that journey.
What a weird, fucked up life, and I hope Crystal is healing now and that this book helped her in that journey.
March 15, 2024
I'm reading my way through a plethora of books about female representation in the media, especially in the early 2000s, and when it comes to all the generally questionable reality TV content, the insanity of "The Girls Next Door" / "The Girls of the Playboy Mansion" really takes the cake. So let's recap for a sec: Holly Madison, Hef's "girlfriend" before Crystal, has published a fully delusional (but, I have to admit, rather entertaining) memoir called Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny, which also entails her bitching against Crystal, because Holly is totally a good girl and a feminist and truly loved Hef, while all the others were just grifters (whatever, Holly). Now make no mistake: Crystal is also delusional, but at least she is refraining from constantly putting other women down in order to make herself appear better than she is.
The core conundrum to me - and what unites Holly and Crystal - is that these women seriously looked at the whole Playboy brand in the laste 2000's and thought THIS was "glitz and glam", and that the women who were paid to live and have sex with a senior citizen who perpetually wore pyjamas were his girlfriends, and not, in fact, sex workers. Both of them refuse to acknowledge, apparently also to themselves, that what they did was sex work - and I'm not saying this to shame sex workers, but to show that these women were part of a transactional business relationship, but unable to realize it, which led to them being shocked when they were treated like the commodities they were paid to be.
Does this excuse the manipulative and partly outright criminal behavior (revenge porn, secret cameras in the bedroom etc.) of Hef, a man who made a fortune with the objectification of women? No, not at all. But women like Holly and Crystal, who were victims, also decided to become his accomplices: They helped glorifying being a "fem bot" (Holly's words) for their own expected gain. Crystal studied psychology, but being a psychologist didn't seem glamorous enough. The book consists of her again and again and again stating that she had nowhere to go and no other prospects, which very obviously was never true, she just had no better and easier option to be famous, to be in the spotlight, to live in a mansion with personnel. Unlike Holly, she seemed to be very aware of what was happening around her and with her, but, and this is the tragedy, for a long time, she thought it was worth it.
And now she writes a book under the name Crystal Hefner about how she wants to leave Hef behind. This woman has been through terrible experiences, but her book is another lessen in how some people resort to outright public self-harm in their quest for recognition - and that millions of consumers watch it as entertainment.
The core conundrum to me - and what unites Holly and Crystal - is that these women seriously looked at the whole Playboy brand in the laste 2000's and thought THIS was "glitz and glam", and that the women who were paid to live and have sex with a senior citizen who perpetually wore pyjamas were his girlfriends, and not, in fact, sex workers. Both of them refuse to acknowledge, apparently also to themselves, that what they did was sex work - and I'm not saying this to shame sex workers, but to show that these women were part of a transactional business relationship, but unable to realize it, which led to them being shocked when they were treated like the commodities they were paid to be.
Does this excuse the manipulative and partly outright criminal behavior (revenge porn, secret cameras in the bedroom etc.) of Hef, a man who made a fortune with the objectification of women? No, not at all. But women like Holly and Crystal, who were victims, also decided to become his accomplices: They helped glorifying being a "fem bot" (Holly's words) for their own expected gain. Crystal studied psychology, but being a psychologist didn't seem glamorous enough. The book consists of her again and again and again stating that she had nowhere to go and no other prospects, which very obviously was never true, she just had no better and easier option to be famous, to be in the spotlight, to live in a mansion with personnel. Unlike Holly, she seemed to be very aware of what was happening around her and with her, but, and this is the tragedy, for a long time, she thought it was worth it.
And now she writes a book under the name Crystal Hefner about how she wants to leave Hef behind. This woman has been through terrible experiences, but her book is another lessen in how some people resort to outright public self-harm in their quest for recognition - and that millions of consumers watch it as entertainment.
January 27, 2024
At this point, it's probably fair to say I am on a bender of 'aughts pop culture memoirs.
As an old lady of 36, I'm wondering where the hell the adults were when a TV show about a geriatric perv and his relationship with three young blondes was sold to us as a quirky, fun little romp?
I remember watching The Girls Next Door and having a favorite, like they were the Spice Girls. In case you are wondering, it was Bridget because she was getting her master's degree. I also remember being jealous of their super cool bedrooms and I seem to remember some fabulous cats. I don't think it ever crossed my mind that these young women were banging the old dude in pajamas?? It was a strange time.
Anyway.
So I did not watch the season with Crystal. Like another reviewer suggested, I was there for Holly/Bridget/Kendra. Who gaf about Hef? I vaguely remember they married or whatever and assumed she was just after his money. Why else would you marry Hef?
What this memoir illuminated was the extent of Hef's predatory behavior of targeting vulnerable young women and luring them into his gross little world with the hopes of glamour, money, success, celebrity. There were no surprises here, but the peak behind the glitzy curtain to reveal the seedy, 1970's frozen world of the Playboy Mansion was fascinating. Crystal seems like an intelligent woman who has found healing in her recent years. I'm sorry that she was another victim of this creep.
On a final note, can we please dig Hef up and get him away from the first woman he exploited?! I'd forgotten he was buried next to Marilyn Monroe. One final "fuck you" from another powerful Hollywood man to the women of America. Ugh.
As an old lady of 36, I'm wondering where the hell the adults were when a TV show about a geriatric perv and his relationship with three young blondes was sold to us as a quirky, fun little romp?
I remember watching The Girls Next Door and having a favorite, like they were the Spice Girls. In case you are wondering, it was Bridget because she was getting her master's degree. I also remember being jealous of their super cool bedrooms and I seem to remember some fabulous cats. I don't think it ever crossed my mind that these young women were banging the old dude in pajamas?? It was a strange time.
Anyway.
So I did not watch the season with Crystal. Like another reviewer suggested, I was there for Holly/Bridget/Kendra. Who gaf about Hef? I vaguely remember they married or whatever and assumed she was just after his money. Why else would you marry Hef?
What this memoir illuminated was the extent of Hef's predatory behavior of targeting vulnerable young women and luring them into his gross little world with the hopes of glamour, money, success, celebrity. There were no surprises here, but the peak behind the glitzy curtain to reveal the seedy, 1970's frozen world of the Playboy Mansion was fascinating. Crystal seems like an intelligent woman who has found healing in her recent years. I'm sorry that she was another victim of this creep.
On a final note, can we please dig Hef up and get him away from the first woman he exploited?! I'd forgotten he was buried next to Marilyn Monroe. One final "fuck you" from another powerful Hollywood man to the women of America. Ugh.
February 5, 2024
I find out about all the new celebrity and royalty biographies coming out from the Daily Mail Online app. They are always posting articles in the Showbiz section, serializing bombshells from new book releases. If interested, I request them from the library. That's what happened with this one! It just sounded very intriguing, and it certainly was. Hugh Hefner's last wife Crystal Harris wrote this memoir.
One of the tasty morsels coming out of this tell-all was that this iconic mansion was frozen in time with old decoration from the seventies. Crystal claims Hef lost some hearing from taking too much viagra, and details the weekly routines such as movie nights (watching old black and white movies Hef loved such as Casablanca), picking out girls to come up to Hef's bedroom to participate in group sex, complying with curfews, getting an allowance, and keeping up your appearance. It reminded me just a bit of Elvis's grooming of Priscilla. You weren't supposed to have too many opinions and Hef was in control of the whole situation. You lost yourself to a great degree by deciding to be in that role. They got engaged without Hef actually asking, and when he died his ashes were entombed literally right next to Marilyn Monroe's mausoleum slot. That was the one thing Hef planned out many years ago.
This was a light, quick read that provided a rare glimpse into Hef's secret world inside his Playboy gothic mansion.
One of the tasty morsels coming out of this tell-all was that this iconic mansion was frozen in time with old decoration from the seventies. Crystal claims Hef lost some hearing from taking too much viagra, and details the weekly routines such as movie nights (watching old black and white movies Hef loved such as Casablanca), picking out girls to come up to Hef's bedroom to participate in group sex, complying with curfews, getting an allowance, and keeping up your appearance. It reminded me just a bit of Elvis's grooming of Priscilla. You weren't supposed to have too many opinions and Hef was in control of the whole situation. You lost yourself to a great degree by deciding to be in that role. They got engaged without Hef actually asking, and when he died his ashes were entombed literally right next to Marilyn Monroe's mausoleum slot. That was the one thing Hef planned out many years ago.
This was a light, quick read that provided a rare glimpse into Hef's secret world inside his Playboy gothic mansion.
December 27, 2023
3.5 stars.
It's very difficult to review and rate somebody's personal story and experience....let me just say that.
I think intrigued, disgusted, fascinated, whatever your opinion on Hugh Hefner, one has some sort of feelings about him and his Playboy empire.
I watched The Girls Next Door, like a moth to a flame....and I think that show was really to make it seem like the lifestyle was cute and fun all the time....and perhaps an attempt to humanise Hugh a little bit.
Crystal's book I inhaled in one night and I was intrigued about getting a real glimpse behind the curtain. The book is very interesting and honest, a few explicit moments (the scene with the shampoo bottle when she was 14 made me really sad and uncomfortable).
I think what I found polarising in the book is that Crystal does give us a very real idea of who Hugh actually was....but I think despite all her healing, she was still desperately trying to preserve some image of him...she could have been more raw, more real....but I think she says it in the book, not using this term, but her relationship with Hugh is reminiscent of somebody with Stockholm Syndrome.
I hoped she go into why she was so defensive and dismissive of other people's claims and experiences, or perhaps mention if she had any regrets around that.... Also her sisters, where were they....did anybody try to encourage her to leave the lifestyle? I wanted a lot more, but that is me.... because maybe I'm nosey and always interested in family dynamics.
W.r.t the writing, I felt there was a lot of repetition and maybe we'd go off track a few times and I felt like I missed a part of the story..it felt disjointed at times. All in all, an intriguing read though....and not to be all judge Judy, but wow that man.....let me rather not....
It's very difficult to review and rate somebody's personal story and experience....let me just say that.
I think intrigued, disgusted, fascinated, whatever your opinion on Hugh Hefner, one has some sort of feelings about him and his Playboy empire.
I watched The Girls Next Door, like a moth to a flame....and I think that show was really to make it seem like the lifestyle was cute and fun all the time....and perhaps an attempt to humanise Hugh a little bit.
Crystal's book I inhaled in one night and I was intrigued about getting a real glimpse behind the curtain. The book is very interesting and honest, a few explicit moments (the scene with the shampoo bottle when she was 14 made me really sad and uncomfortable).
I think what I found polarising in the book is that Crystal does give us a very real idea of who Hugh actually was....but I think despite all her healing, she was still desperately trying to preserve some image of him...she could have been more raw, more real....but I think she says it in the book, not using this term, but her relationship with Hugh is reminiscent of somebody with Stockholm Syndrome.
I hoped she go into why she was so defensive and dismissive of other people's claims and experiences, or perhaps mention if she had any regrets around that.... Also her sisters, where were they....did anybody try to encourage her to leave the lifestyle? I wanted a lot more, but that is me.... because maybe I'm nosey and always interested in family dynamics.
W.r.t the writing, I felt there was a lot of repetition and maybe we'd go off track a few times and I felt like I missed a part of the story..it felt disjointed at times. All in all, an intriguing read though....and not to be all judge Judy, but wow that man.....let me rather not....
February 11, 2024
I was NOT expecting to be crying the whole way through this book, but here we are. I had to pause my listening several times because many of the things Crystal went through, I also went through and it was hitting a bit too close to home.
It was such a sad read, which I figured it would be, but...yeah. I'm not okay!! I hope Crystal is though, after everything. She deserves nothing but the best.
One thing here really surprised me, and that's the section on Dr Phil & his son...like I knew Dr Phil wasn't exactly who he pretended to be, but his son too??? Really glad Crystal was able to talk about that at all, it's crazy.
I'll have to get a physical copy for sure, this is now one of my favourite memoirs. Also, I highly recommend the audiobook which is narrated by the author herself and you can feel the emotion & pain in her voice as she's reading her words.
It was such a sad read, which I figured it would be, but...yeah. I'm not okay!! I hope Crystal is though, after everything. She deserves nothing but the best.
One thing here really surprised me, and that's the section on Dr Phil & his son...like I knew Dr Phil wasn't exactly who he pretended to be, but his son too??? Really glad Crystal was able to talk about that at all, it's crazy.
I'll have to get a physical copy for sure, this is now one of my favourite memoirs. Also, I highly recommend the audiobook which is narrated by the author herself and you can feel the emotion & pain in her voice as she's reading her words.
January 24, 2024
She contradicts her own story from interview to interview and in this book from page to page and nothing good has ever happened to this woman in her life.
October 19, 2024
Hard to relate to 🤷🏼♀️ But fascinating nonetheless 😉
April 3, 2024
Okay wow, this was FUCKED UP. Growing up with playboy always in my life, I had heard various stories over the years about what went on at the mansion and the wild playboy parties that took place, but nothing ever like this.
This was absolutely wild. While Hef was a visionary and definitely made his mark in the world, it sounds like he was an awful man in his later years. Trying to relive the glory of his yesteryear with unreal expectations for his “girlfriends” and the life that followed.
While this wasn’t really a memoir of Crystal as much as her story of her entire time in the mansion, her struggles, her breaking away just to come back. This really gives a lot of insight into to playboy mansion life and some crazy stories to go along with it.
You can really tell she puts herself out there on these pages and I think gives an honest view of how growing up in a toxic environment with low self esteem and how she basically let guys walk all over her and tried to be a pick me girl.
This was sad, gross, sad, insane, did I mention sad? Story. Reccomended. 4 stars
This was absolutely wild. While Hef was a visionary and definitely made his mark in the world, it sounds like he was an awful man in his later years. Trying to relive the glory of his yesteryear with unreal expectations for his “girlfriends” and the life that followed.
While this wasn’t really a memoir of Crystal as much as her story of her entire time in the mansion, her struggles, her breaking away just to come back. This really gives a lot of insight into to playboy mansion life and some crazy stories to go along with it.
You can really tell she puts herself out there on these pages and I think gives an honest view of how growing up in a toxic environment with low self esteem and how she basically let guys walk all over her and tried to be a pick me girl.
This was sad, gross, sad, insane, did I mention sad? Story. Reccomended. 4 stars
January 29, 2024
First off, everyone has a right to tell their story and second off at its best it verifies and is consistent with what Holly has said for almost 20 years. However, 80-90% of this book’s content are just almost direct repeats from Holly’s book and the Girls Next Level podcast, with no credit or recognition given by the author. Repeating of insights that didn’t even directly happen to her, with no credit given to Holly who actually experienced some of these situations. Spend your money and time on Holly’s book and podcast.
July 23, 2024
3.5 stars. This felt genuine and raw, and I truly hope that it was. It can be hard with such polished celebrities to know what's real behind the glitz and glamour. Of course, they always want to show themselves in the best light, even though it may not tell some of the more negative things about them, and I couldn't help but catch this vibe from this book. Hefner was guilty of some heinous crimes, both by him himself and simply kept quiet about some of his guests' activities, and there's NO WAY she didn't know about the seedier, grittier activities that occurred in the mansion. Because of my prior knowledge of such horrid things, it made it feel that this book was certainly skirted over and generalized. Partial reasoning could be legal, like NDAs she signed at whatever point, but still.
February 25, 2024
Dr. Phil plot twist
July 17, 2024
As a teenager during the ‘00s, you absolutely could not get away from the juggernaut that was the hype around the Playboy brand! The bunny logo was on everything, from clothing to home ware. And the girlfriends of Hugh Hefner, and Hef himself, were television stars on E! Entertainment Network’s ”The Girls Next Door”. I would watch it religiously, thinking that the girls who lived in the mansion, were also living the best, most glamorous, lives ever. This was far from the truth. Life in the Playboy Mansion, and as one of Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends, wasn’t all it was made out to be. Like Holly Madison before her, now it’s Crystal Hefner’s time to speak out. She promised her late husband that she would only say good things about him and her life with him, but she learnt that it’s always best to be true to yourself and to speak your truth.
Only Say Good Things is open, honest, and raw with emotion. Crystal’s life before the glitz and glamour of Hollywood and the weird world of Playboy, was filled with tragedy. She lost her Father to brain cancer, and then her beloved first boyfriend and first love, Greg, died whilst away in the Army. This shaped her struggles with relationships and how easy it was for her to pulled into Hugh Hefner’s controlling world. He wanted his girlfriends to always be "perfect", even having strict curfews where they were not allowed out after 9pm. With Crystal quickly becoming his main girlfriends, then fiancè, then wife - the rules were imposed extra hard on her. She was ruled over with misogyny, and made to feel like an object - so much that she objectified herself and lost her sense of identity in the process.
After Hef’s death, Crystal felt lost, but also a sense of freedom too. Now was the time for her to take control of her own life, relationships, and to heal.
4 Stars
Only Say Good Things is open, honest, and raw with emotion. Crystal’s life before the glitz and glamour of Hollywood and the weird world of Playboy, was filled with tragedy. She lost her Father to brain cancer, and then her beloved first boyfriend and first love, Greg, died whilst away in the Army. This shaped her struggles with relationships and how easy it was for her to pulled into Hugh Hefner’s controlling world. He wanted his girlfriends to always be "perfect", even having strict curfews where they were not allowed out after 9pm. With Crystal quickly becoming his main girlfriends, then fiancè, then wife - the rules were imposed extra hard on her. She was ruled over with misogyny, and made to feel like an object - so much that she objectified herself and lost her sense of identity in the process.
After Hef’s death, Crystal felt lost, but also a sense of freedom too. Now was the time for her to take control of her own life, relationships, and to heal.
4 Stars
December 15, 2024
4/5
Apie gyvenimą su seksistu, sužlugdžiusiu tiek daug žmonių ir padariusiu tiek daug, kad moterys jaustųsi nepakankamai gražios, seksualios, kad jų jausmai ir poreikiai būtų nustumti į šoną, o patrauklumas grotų pirmu smuiku. Apie moterį, iš kurios buvo tiek prižvengta, bet kuri knygoje pasirodė tokia empatiška, gera ir aiškiai suvokianti į ką įsivėlė ir kiek jai tai kainavo. Nieko labai šokiruojančiai naujo, tik eilinis įrodymas, kad Hefnerio imperija buvo pastatyta ant kompleksų, skausmo, žeminimo ir aiškių taisyklių bei aiškios formulės, aiškaus tipažo moterų, kurios jam pasidavė. Be kaltinimo, tik pasakojant. Ne taip kaip skaitant Ratajkowski autiobiografiją, kuri su šia nemenkai susisieja per kūno kulto temą, atrodo, kad Crystal iš tiesų suvokia, kokią žalą pati padarė kitoms moterims ir merginoms, ne tik tą, kuri buvo padaryta jai.
Be to, ši autobiografija veikia kaip puikus priminimas, kad visi savyje turim daug smerkimo ir daug vidinės mizoginijos. Kad turbūt visi esam žiūrėję į jos ir Hefnerio foto ir galvoję, kad ji ten tik dėl pinigų ir kad viskas, kas jai buvo daryta, tarsi pateisinama, nes ji žinojo, kur lenda. Bet traumos – toks sudėtingas dalykas, kaip sudėtinga yra ir meilė sau, kaip sudėtingas gebėjimas suvokti, ko esi vertas ir kur yra ribos. Įdomu, kad ji skiria nemažai laiko sveikatos temai, papasakodama kiek iš tiesų „grožis“ jai kainavo. Ir kiek kainavo santykiai su žymiausiu pleibojum pasauly. Ir viską apie jį pasako vienas vienintelis faktas – jis dar 90s išsipirko sau amžino poilsio vietą šalia Marilyn Monroe. Jos niekas neklausė, ar norėtų prie jo, ją apvogusio ir paniekinusio, ilsėtis. Tikiuosi, kad ji pagaliau ilsisi.
Apie gyvenimą su seksistu, sužlugdžiusiu tiek daug žmonių ir padariusiu tiek daug, kad moterys jaustųsi nepakankamai gražios, seksualios, kad jų jausmai ir poreikiai būtų nustumti į šoną, o patrauklumas grotų pirmu smuiku. Apie moterį, iš kurios buvo tiek prižvengta, bet kuri knygoje pasirodė tokia empatiška, gera ir aiškiai suvokianti į ką įsivėlė ir kiek jai tai kainavo. Nieko labai šokiruojančiai naujo, tik eilinis įrodymas, kad Hefnerio imperija buvo pastatyta ant kompleksų, skausmo, žeminimo ir aiškių taisyklių bei aiškios formulės, aiškaus tipažo moterų, kurios jam pasidavė. Be kaltinimo, tik pasakojant. Ne taip kaip skaitant Ratajkowski autiobiografiją, kuri su šia nemenkai susisieja per kūno kulto temą, atrodo, kad Crystal iš tiesų suvokia, kokią žalą pati padarė kitoms moterims ir merginoms, ne tik tą, kuri buvo padaryta jai.
Be to, ši autobiografija veikia kaip puikus priminimas, kad visi savyje turim daug smerkimo ir daug vidinės mizoginijos. Kad turbūt visi esam žiūrėję į jos ir Hefnerio foto ir galvoję, kad ji ten tik dėl pinigų ir kad viskas, kas jai buvo daryta, tarsi pateisinama, nes ji žinojo, kur lenda. Bet traumos – toks sudėtingas dalykas, kaip sudėtinga yra ir meilė sau, kaip sudėtingas gebėjimas suvokti, ko esi vertas ir kur yra ribos. Įdomu, kad ji skiria nemažai laiko sveikatos temai, papasakodama kiek iš tiesų „grožis“ jai kainavo. Ir kiek kainavo santykiai su žymiausiu pleibojum pasauly. Ir viską apie jį pasako vienas vienintelis faktas – jis dar 90s išsipirko sau amžino poilsio vietą šalia Marilyn Monroe. Jos niekas neklausė, ar norėtų prie jo, ją apvogusio ir paniekinusio, ilsėtis. Tikiuosi, kad ji pagaliau ilsisi.
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February 9, 2024I don't rate biographies and memoirs.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I remember watching the E! show The Girls Next Door and was mesmerised by the lives of the Playboy bunnies and Hef's girlfriends. There was something naughty and frivolous about their lives, something a little bit plastic and not real that made it such an entertaining show. After reading Holly Madison's book about her time at the mansion, I gained an insight into the seedier, darker side of the Playboy mansion and the man obsessed with power and control - Hugh Hefner. Crystal Hefner has always been a bit of an enigma. The woman who convinced Hef to marry again (or so the world thought) and became his sole companion up until his death. So when I heard she was releasing her story, I knew I had to read it.
Crystal doesn't shy away from any aspect of her life before, during and after Hugh Hefner. She documents that fateful night she's chosen by Hefner to join him at the mansion, as well as adding context to her life growing up and loosing her father, and her first love, at such a young age. She arrives at the mansion as a young, impressionable and broken girl. And Hugh swoops in and takes advantage of this. As Crystal says, 'he always kept the ones with broken wings'. And their relationship is a complicated one. Hugh constantly undermined Crystal, reminded her she was lucky to be there, to the point where she believed it. She was to be seen, not heard, the good girl looking for her knight. Hugh became her jailer, yet she cared for him deeply too and did everything he ever asked of her. When he was gone, and she was finally free, he left a big hole in her life and she felt lost. She had to find herself again.
A frank and eye opening read about time in the Playboy mansion, where sexual liberation is at the whim of powerful men. I only hope that times have changed and we never get anything like the Playboy legacy ever again.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I remember watching the E! show The Girls Next Door and was mesmerised by the lives of the Playboy bunnies and Hef's girlfriends. There was something naughty and frivolous about their lives, something a little bit plastic and not real that made it such an entertaining show. After reading Holly Madison's book about her time at the mansion, I gained an insight into the seedier, darker side of the Playboy mansion and the man obsessed with power and control - Hugh Hefner. Crystal Hefner has always been a bit of an enigma. The woman who convinced Hef to marry again (or so the world thought) and became his sole companion up until his death. So when I heard she was releasing her story, I knew I had to read it.
Crystal doesn't shy away from any aspect of her life before, during and after Hugh Hefner. She documents that fateful night she's chosen by Hefner to join him at the mansion, as well as adding context to her life growing up and loosing her father, and her first love, at such a young age. She arrives at the mansion as a young, impressionable and broken girl. And Hugh swoops in and takes advantage of this. As Crystal says, 'he always kept the ones with broken wings'. And their relationship is a complicated one. Hugh constantly undermined Crystal, reminded her she was lucky to be there, to the point where she believed it. She was to be seen, not heard, the good girl looking for her knight. Hugh became her jailer, yet she cared for him deeply too and did everything he ever asked of her. When he was gone, and she was finally free, he left a big hole in her life and she felt lost. She had to find herself again.
A frank and eye opening read about time in the Playboy mansion, where sexual liberation is at the whim of powerful men. I only hope that times have changed and we never get anything like the Playboy legacy ever again.
February 3, 2024
2023 belonged to Britney's memoir and if there's any justice, 2024 will belong to Crystal Hefner's. I walked into this book with no expectations. I don't watch 99% of reality TV because I think it's gross and when The Girls Next Door became a hit my own reaction was "Gross. Why does anyone want to watch an old man parading around with a bevy of blondes young enough to be his granddaughters?"
Does Hefner dish some Playboy dirt in this book? I mean, some? But honestly nothing she discloses was all that shocking for me. Honestly even if you were just half paying attention to the legacy of Playboy, Hugh Hefner and how gross the early 2000s were (especially) for women in the public eye - there was nothing here that really caused my jaw to drop. From an outsider looking in (albeit peripherally) this was all stuff I suspected. Hence choosing to never watch The Girls Next Door.
What I was hoping for in this book is exactly what I got - Crystal Hefner's honesty. How a lost young woman thinks she's found the Golden Ticket when Hefner plucks her from the crowd at a mansion Halloween party. And how that lost college girl grew up to be a lost young woman and eventually a lost young widow. Also, once married to Hefner, and in his declining years to boot, her conflicted feelings about the man made for riveting reading.
Is this a book about Crystal Hefner dishing some dirt? I mean, maybe a small part of it? But it's really a book about a lost young woman trying to find herself and accepting that she's a work in progress.
Does Hefner dish some Playboy dirt in this book? I mean, some? But honestly nothing she discloses was all that shocking for me. Honestly even if you were just half paying attention to the legacy of Playboy, Hugh Hefner and how gross the early 2000s were (especially) for women in the public eye - there was nothing here that really caused my jaw to drop. From an outsider looking in (albeit peripherally) this was all stuff I suspected. Hence choosing to never watch The Girls Next Door.
What I was hoping for in this book is exactly what I got - Crystal Hefner's honesty. How a lost young woman thinks she's found the Golden Ticket when Hefner plucks her from the crowd at a mansion Halloween party. And how that lost college girl grew up to be a lost young woman and eventually a lost young widow. Also, once married to Hefner, and in his declining years to boot, her conflicted feelings about the man made for riveting reading.
Is this a book about Crystal Hefner dishing some dirt? I mean, maybe a small part of it? But it's really a book about a lost young woman trying to find herself and accepting that she's a work in progress.
October 10, 2024
kind of diabolical to isolate an elderly person from his entire support system, proceed to take ur side piece on vacation as said elderly husband is dying, THEN publish a book after his death trashing on him and their whole relationship USING AND PROFITING OFF SAID HUSBAND’S LAST NAME. the fact that hef’s kids and family don’t fuck with u says a ton. the cognitive dissonance is INSANE. get help, crystal.
February 4, 2024
4.5. Just as with Holly Madison’s memoir of some years back, Down the Rabbit Hole - I found this incredibly interesting! I sped through it in one day and appreciated Crystal’s strong reading of the audiobook and the honesty and introspection she demonstrated throughout the memoir.
Crystal’s book and Holly’s book are quite different from one another, but each narrative also totally validates and backs up the other, as though the two women completed forensic interviews separately after surviving and fleeing the cult-like Mansion environment. (Indeed, there is remarkable consistency across all narratives that have come out from various Mansion survivors in the wake of Hefner’s death, presumably in part because of the immense, sweeping, and fastidious control he exerted.)
I’m not sure if Crystal has had a lot of good, successful therapy, but this book reads as though it were written by someone who has. Without portraying herself as a victim at all, and while taking personal responsibility for her choices and understanding and owning the reasons for making them, Crystal provides excellent context to help a reader understand how an intelligent woman who, let’s make no mistakes, clearly saw everything wrong with the environment of the Playboy Mansion (and Crystal and Holly have been just one of many of these who have recently spoken out) might still have made the choice to work there and remain there in the sort of ultimate, all-consuming, full-contact spokesmodel job that was being one of Hef’s “girlfriends” - and eventually for some of these girlfriends, a wife.
While Crystal describes a number of strengths and supportive relationships that helped her in her early and subsequent life, she also experienced two really horrific and impactful losses of important men in her life at a young age, and she describes well some of the domino effects of these traumatic experiences on her future relationships and career - as well as her mental health.
Crystal also describes growing up in a household, parent/family, and sociocultural environment that strongly valued and extolled women’s appearances, sexuality, and service to/dependence on men as primary. Additionally, one of the early losses she experienced resulted in parental mental health problems and some emotional neglect and abandonment, with Crystal becoming largely dependent on providing for herself at a young age, without much guidance or really any supervision, and vulnerable to a number of risk factors, including domestic violence and substance use. (These are all ACE scores in action, for those familiar with them.)
Crystal relocated as an adolescent to a new and somewhat hostile family and community environment where she did not have much support and where she and her mom were messaged that they were undeserving, did not belong, and were lucky to get whatever they got so they’d better work hard and uncomplainingly to keep it. This is the very same sort of “all women ARE replaceable” tune sung at the Playboy Mansion, so it felt familiar to her when she found herself there after a series of Bud Lite and similar spokesmodel jobs (similarly, Madison worked at Hooters) that were like equally exploitative and more unremunerative versions of the Playboy gig supervised by assholes who were like Wayfair versions of Hugh Hefner without any of the success, experience, or business acumen he could try to claim.
When offered the longer-term girlfriend job by Hefner during a time Crystal was fleeing an abusive relationship, was facing being unhoused, and had limited options and resources, Crystal accepted it, moving to the Mansion when, it bears remembering, she was barely out of her teens. She went on to spend essentially her entire younger adulthood there, ultimately ending up a quasi-nurse and caregiver-companion figure to an eventually very infirm Hefner in the time leading up to his death (the third major loss in her life of an important close male relationship, which by then was necessarily significant, if unusual and highly conflicted and fraught).
Crystal skillfully contextualizes this choice so that it makes perfect sense how she saw it at the time as the best option for herself - a good option, actually - and an option she felt was in line with what she could expect or deserve, given her experiences. As she states, she “understood the job,” and had an idea of (some of) the tradeoffs to be accepted, and she set about it with what can only be described as a good Midwestern work ethic and a sort of “golden rule” vibe where she tried to conduct herself with as much integrity as possible within the workplace and relationships of the Mansion.
The vibe of this book is in keeping with this, as she manages to share some of the types of info about Hefner and the Mansion that we want to and should know about, but while keeping it classy. It comes clean about things but is not a dirt-slinging book. I felt that Holly Madison successfully managed this as well. The women continue to speak up on behalf of other Mansion survivors (it really and truly did function like a cult): for example, Crystal destroyed a huge cache of nonconsensual nude/revenge porn/blackmail insurance photos and videos of women - including very young women - that Hefner was discovered to have accumulated and retained for years.
In some ways, there were some real parallels to the Britney Spears bio here. We are learning more and more about the depth of corruption in the entertainment industry, and this is very much in vein with other recent accounts that have come out, especially ones where we glorify, rationalize, minimize, and sanitize the gross things that wealthy and powerful men, people, corporations, and media do, especially to young women, who then are victim-blamed. And, it’s always been far too easy for people to dismiss Hefner as a harmless little old man in a robe or a sailor cap. He’s his own unique kind of self-obsessed toxic narcissist monster, whose desire to control women extended to forcing himself into Marilyn Monroe’s personal space even after her death. (He purchased the final resting place immediately next to hers, without her consent - just as Playboy published her nudes without her consent.)
I am extremely glad Crystal shared her own story, which I found fascinating, admirable, and important. Although there have only been a finite number of women who have resided in the Mansion or served as one of Hefner’s “girlfriends,” the experiences and lessons in the story are very transferable and widely applicable to the larger entertainment field.
Crystal’s book and Holly’s book are quite different from one another, but each narrative also totally validates and backs up the other, as though the two women completed forensic interviews separately after surviving and fleeing the cult-like Mansion environment. (Indeed, there is remarkable consistency across all narratives that have come out from various Mansion survivors in the wake of Hefner’s death, presumably in part because of the immense, sweeping, and fastidious control he exerted.)
I’m not sure if Crystal has had a lot of good, successful therapy, but this book reads as though it were written by someone who has. Without portraying herself as a victim at all, and while taking personal responsibility for her choices and understanding and owning the reasons for making them, Crystal provides excellent context to help a reader understand how an intelligent woman who, let’s make no mistakes, clearly saw everything wrong with the environment of the Playboy Mansion (and Crystal and Holly have been just one of many of these who have recently spoken out) might still have made the choice to work there and remain there in the sort of ultimate, all-consuming, full-contact spokesmodel job that was being one of Hef’s “girlfriends” - and eventually for some of these girlfriends, a wife.
While Crystal describes a number of strengths and supportive relationships that helped her in her early and subsequent life, she also experienced two really horrific and impactful losses of important men in her life at a young age, and she describes well some of the domino effects of these traumatic experiences on her future relationships and career - as well as her mental health.
Crystal also describes growing up in a household, parent/family, and sociocultural environment that strongly valued and extolled women’s appearances, sexuality, and service to/dependence on men as primary. Additionally, one of the early losses she experienced resulted in parental mental health problems and some emotional neglect and abandonment, with Crystal becoming largely dependent on providing for herself at a young age, without much guidance or really any supervision, and vulnerable to a number of risk factors, including domestic violence and substance use. (These are all ACE scores in action, for those familiar with them.)
Crystal relocated as an adolescent to a new and somewhat hostile family and community environment where she did not have much support and where she and her mom were messaged that they were undeserving, did not belong, and were lucky to get whatever they got so they’d better work hard and uncomplainingly to keep it. This is the very same sort of “all women ARE replaceable” tune sung at the Playboy Mansion, so it felt familiar to her when she found herself there after a series of Bud Lite and similar spokesmodel jobs (similarly, Madison worked at Hooters) that were like equally exploitative and more unremunerative versions of the Playboy gig supervised by assholes who were like Wayfair versions of Hugh Hefner without any of the success, experience, or business acumen he could try to claim.
When offered the longer-term girlfriend job by Hefner during a time Crystal was fleeing an abusive relationship, was facing being unhoused, and had limited options and resources, Crystal accepted it, moving to the Mansion when, it bears remembering, she was barely out of her teens. She went on to spend essentially her entire younger adulthood there, ultimately ending up a quasi-nurse and caregiver-companion figure to an eventually very infirm Hefner in the time leading up to his death (the third major loss in her life of an important close male relationship, which by then was necessarily significant, if unusual and highly conflicted and fraught).
Crystal skillfully contextualizes this choice so that it makes perfect sense how she saw it at the time as the best option for herself - a good option, actually - and an option she felt was in line with what she could expect or deserve, given her experiences. As she states, she “understood the job,” and had an idea of (some of) the tradeoffs to be accepted, and she set about it with what can only be described as a good Midwestern work ethic and a sort of “golden rule” vibe where she tried to conduct herself with as much integrity as possible within the workplace and relationships of the Mansion.
The vibe of this book is in keeping with this, as she manages to share some of the types of info about Hefner and the Mansion that we want to and should know about, but while keeping it classy. It comes clean about things but is not a dirt-slinging book. I felt that Holly Madison successfully managed this as well. The women continue to speak up on behalf of other Mansion survivors (it really and truly did function like a cult): for example, Crystal destroyed a huge cache of nonconsensual nude/revenge porn/blackmail insurance photos and videos of women - including very young women - that Hefner was discovered to have accumulated and retained for years.
In some ways, there were some real parallels to the Britney Spears bio here. We are learning more and more about the depth of corruption in the entertainment industry, and this is very much in vein with other recent accounts that have come out, especially ones where we glorify, rationalize, minimize, and sanitize the gross things that wealthy and powerful men, people, corporations, and media do, especially to young women, who then are victim-blamed. And, it’s always been far too easy for people to dismiss Hefner as a harmless little old man in a robe or a sailor cap. He’s his own unique kind of self-obsessed toxic narcissist monster, whose desire to control women extended to forcing himself into Marilyn Monroe’s personal space even after her death. (He purchased the final resting place immediately next to hers, without her consent - just as Playboy published her nudes without her consent.)
I am extremely glad Crystal shared her own story, which I found fascinating, admirable, and important. Although there have only been a finite number of women who have resided in the Mansion or served as one of Hefner’s “girlfriends,” the experiences and lessons in the story are very transferable and widely applicable to the larger entertainment field.
January 24, 2024
So much more than a story about Playboy
Having read all the books by former girlfriends about Hef, this one is by far the best. She focuses more on her journey on finding herself and the challenges along the way, instead of just retelling the rules of life with Hef. She also gives insight into the final years of Hef's life and her complicated feelings for him. Her story is extremely inspiring and honest. I have so much more respect for her after reading her story.
Having read all the books by former girlfriends about Hef, this one is by far the best. She focuses more on her journey on finding herself and the challenges along the way, instead of just retelling the rules of life with Hef. She also gives insight into the final years of Hef's life and her complicated feelings for him. Her story is extremely inspiring and honest. I have so much more respect for her after reading her story.
September 13, 2024
I feel for Crystal story and all the hardships she faced living in the Playboy mansion, but I felt like this book didn’t give us anything. We didn’t already know. I wish maybe there was multiple women who wrote books or we had some more backstory, but this fell flat for me as an autobiography.
February 15, 2024
It is, as ever, really difficult to rate a book like this — so filled with personal pain. I knew next to nothing about Crystal Hefner (or all that much about Hugh Hefner honestly) and so this was a real insight into the deeply disturbing world of misogyny, abuse and exploitation that is Playboy. Crystal’s treatment by Hefner is such a miserable portrait of coercive control by a narcissistic and powerful man, and even years on her own feelings towards him remain evidently so conflicted.
There were some moments of real insight:
‘Hef’s persona, the narrative that everyone bought into, was of a powerful man who used that power to elevate women, fight for civil rights and champion the first amendment. He was the poster boy for sexual liberation. I never felt very liberated in his bedroom… It was an invisible trap, framed in the language of choice.’
It’s so unbelievably clear how detrimental an impact Hugh Hefner has had both on the attitudes of men towards women, and attitudes of women towards themselves. It’s laughable that anyone can still claim Hefner was a force for good when it comes to women’s liberation — this whole book is more or less The Case Against The Sexual Revolution, volume 2.
All that being said, I did struggle with the author’s unwillingness, or inability, to take any accountability for anything that has happened in her life. Is this unfair of me? Maybe! Victimhood is a fraught topic!
A great deal of the book is Crystal psychoanalysing her own decisions, speaking at length about her childhood and adolescence to justify the decisions she made. Lots of this is sad and does ring true, but she always stops short of ever engaging with her complicity in the world she chose to enter. At the beginning of the book it is clear that she made a lot of decisions based on a deep desire for fame and glory, but that’s never something she is willing to take responsibility for. By the end, it felt like the book was just an excuse to justify herself.
There were some moments of real insight:
‘Hef’s persona, the narrative that everyone bought into, was of a powerful man who used that power to elevate women, fight for civil rights and champion the first amendment. He was the poster boy for sexual liberation. I never felt very liberated in his bedroom… It was an invisible trap, framed in the language of choice.’
It’s so unbelievably clear how detrimental an impact Hugh Hefner has had both on the attitudes of men towards women, and attitudes of women towards themselves. It’s laughable that anyone can still claim Hefner was a force for good when it comes to women’s liberation — this whole book is more or less The Case Against The Sexual Revolution, volume 2.
All that being said, I did struggle with the author’s unwillingness, or inability, to take any accountability for anything that has happened in her life. Is this unfair of me? Maybe! Victimhood is a fraught topic!
A great deal of the book is Crystal psychoanalysing her own decisions, speaking at length about her childhood and adolescence to justify the decisions she made. Lots of this is sad and does ring true, but she always stops short of ever engaging with her complicity in the world she chose to enter. At the beginning of the book it is clear that she made a lot of decisions based on a deep desire for fame and glory, but that’s never something she is willing to take responsibility for. By the end, it felt like the book was just an excuse to justify herself.
January 29, 2024
It’s kind of amazing how boring she was able to make life at the Playboy mansion sound. I read this whole book about her life and learned absolutely nothing about who she is as a person.
February 19, 2024
I thought this was a really well done memoir. Kept me interested the entire time.
There were a lot of parts of the memoir that weren't new information, but already known facts but I still really enjoyed reading the whole thing.
I've said before, but when I read a memoir I feel weird judging someones life story, who am I to lower someones rating for having a boring life 😂😂 - so I tend to just rate the overall writing and story telling rather than the story, and this was very well done in that regard. The ghost writer did such a good job. Kept me interested and very well written.
There were a lot of parts of the memoir that weren't new information, but already known facts but I still really enjoyed reading the whole thing.
I've said before, but when I read a memoir I feel weird judging someones life story, who am I to lower someones rating for having a boring life 😂😂 - so I tend to just rate the overall writing and story telling rather than the story, and this was very well done in that regard. The ghost writer did such a good job. Kept me interested and very well written.
February 10, 2024
a heartbreaking read
I never watched The Girls Next Door and I haven’t read Holly’s memoir, but when I saw this book being promoted I instantly knew I was going to read it. I was ready for a sad story to be shared, but I was unprepared for the extent of trauma Crystal went through. In the beginning I was pleasantly surprised by how well written the book was, and flew through the first 2/3 (it is also largely chronological, which I very much prefer in a memoir). Towards the end the book stalls a bit, with some circular ideas and I felt like she got lost in what she was trying to say. But overall an important read, and I’m proud of her for making her voice heard. 3/5 ⭐️ for the writing and readability of the book, but 5/5 ⭐️ for her story.
I never watched The Girls Next Door and I haven’t read Holly’s memoir, but when I saw this book being promoted I instantly knew I was going to read it. I was ready for a sad story to be shared, but I was unprepared for the extent of trauma Crystal went through. In the beginning I was pleasantly surprised by how well written the book was, and flew through the first 2/3 (it is also largely chronological, which I very much prefer in a memoir). Towards the end the book stalls a bit, with some circular ideas and I felt like she got lost in what she was trying to say. But overall an important read, and I’m proud of her for making her voice heard. 3/5 ⭐️ for the writing and readability of the book, but 5/5 ⭐️ for her story.
March 1, 2024
I know very little about the Playboy empire as a whole although I always knew that Hugh Hefner would never have been what I considered a good person. Only Say Good Things: Surviving Playboy and Finding Myself was a shocking(?) and heartbreaking look into what it was like inside the mansion along with Crystal Hefner's own personal struggles inside and outside of that. I say shocking with a question mark because in a way the things she shares aren't all that surprising when you are dealing with a man like this. You have to be a certain type of person to create something like Playboy, and Hugh's personality and the things he said and did basically live up to what I would have expected.
What I loved most was learning more about Crystal as a person and even her life outside of the mansion will tug at your heartstrings. I listened to the audiobook, and I think that is 100% the way to go since she narrates it herself. She lays it all out there, and you can hear the emotion in her voice which made it even more of a heavy hitter for me. I think it is important to note that writing is not her career, nor is she an audiobook narrator, but even considering those things she did a superb job with both. I would recommend listening to/reading Only Say Good Things if you are interested in seeing a glimpse into what it was like for the women of the Playboy Mansion.
What I loved most was learning more about Crystal as a person and even her life outside of the mansion will tug at your heartstrings. I listened to the audiobook, and I think that is 100% the way to go since she narrates it herself. She lays it all out there, and you can hear the emotion in her voice which made it even more of a heavy hitter for me. I think it is important to note that writing is not her career, nor is she an audiobook narrator, but even considering those things she did a superb job with both. I would recommend listening to/reading Only Say Good Things if you are interested in seeing a glimpse into what it was like for the women of the Playboy Mansion.
March 17, 2024
The contradictions in this book gave me whiplash.
Everyone else was using him - all i ever wanted was to be in playboy
I don’t trust anyone - I’m the first to trust someone
On and on she shows that she clearly has no idea who she is while blaming everyone else for her problems. This was a huge waste of money and 90% of this book was exactly what holly said in hers.
Everyone else was using him - all i ever wanted was to be in playboy
I don’t trust anyone - I’m the first to trust someone
On and on she shows that she clearly has no idea who she is while blaming everyone else for her problems. This was a huge waste of money and 90% of this book was exactly what holly said in hers.
August 2, 2024
Look I love a trashy celebrity memoir but this one didn’t fire. Was hoping for this to be more scandalous, or interesting, but this was bland and sad.
February 24, 2024
Playboy and specifically the GND tv show are one of my major pop culture interests. I will admit, I have never watched a single episode of season 6. So obviously I’m a fan of Holly Bridget and Kendra from the years of watching them and reading their memoirs. I had never heard of Crystal until she dipped out on the wedding with Hef and all those magazine articles kept coming out. And then she disappeared from my mind again until he passed away, and she took on more of a social media presence. She seemed interesting and when I heard she had a memoir coming out I figured why not check it out.
Unfortunately, 3/4 of this book could have been written by anyone with knowledge of what the mansion was like behind closed doors. It felt aloof and the only stories Crystal tells are when she is the victim. Not one good thing managed to happen in all those years- sorry, not buying it.
Crystal certainly could use intensive therapy with all the circling back to losing her father and when some guy she dated for a few months died a year after they broke up. It felt bizarre and out of place to mention these deaths in nearly every chapter. Of course grief is complicated but it didn’t feel like she was grieving- it gave me the impression she wanted the readers to feel sorry for her.
I didn’t feel like anything written had been genuine until hitting the chapters where Hefs health declines and he passes away. But then Crystal talks about her life since the mansion and something shifts in her tone to make it feel real. I would have liked to hear more about that- more about who she is and what she thinks. Instead it was a memoir full of information most people already know from someone who repeatedly tells you she didn’t want to be there and appears to have struggled to even tolerate Hef. Not the best by any means- maybe for someone who doesn’t have much knowledge on Playboy/the reality of his gfs lives it would be interesting but it wasn’t for me. There are much better Playboy memoirs out there.
Unfortunately, 3/4 of this book could have been written by anyone with knowledge of what the mansion was like behind closed doors. It felt aloof and the only stories Crystal tells are when she is the victim. Not one good thing managed to happen in all those years- sorry, not buying it.
Crystal certainly could use intensive therapy with all the circling back to losing her father and when some guy she dated for a few months died a year after they broke up. It felt bizarre and out of place to mention these deaths in nearly every chapter. Of course grief is complicated but it didn’t feel like she was grieving- it gave me the impression she wanted the readers to feel sorry for her.
I didn’t feel like anything written had been genuine until hitting the chapters where Hefs health declines and he passes away. But then Crystal talks about her life since the mansion and something shifts in her tone to make it feel real. I would have liked to hear more about that- more about who she is and what she thinks. Instead it was a memoir full of information most people already know from someone who repeatedly tells you she didn’t want to be there and appears to have struggled to even tolerate Hef. Not the best by any means- maybe for someone who doesn’t have much knowledge on Playboy/the reality of his gfs lives it would be interesting but it wasn’t for me. There are much better Playboy memoirs out there.
March 12, 2024
Since Hugh Hefners death, stories have come out about him being quite an abusive human being, so was expecting to read this and for it to be a bit of a horror story, however it left me feeling sorry for Hugh and disliking the author.
First she describes him as "disgusting" as he was 60 years older than her, despite her CHOOSING to sleep with him on multiple occasions because she wanted access to his "lifestyle" (aka money). Him wanting to be surrounded by young super models was gross, however the young super models wanting to sleep with a man in his 80s for his money was not‽
She slags him off for being constantly lonely and not making a connection with her or any of the other girls, despite the obvious issue that there is a 60 year age gap. Then tries to justify why she was going after his money because she had a hard life, but never justifies why an old man she describes as "lonely" would pay to be constantly shown affection and attention by a bunch of young super models. She also mentions the strange boundaries he would set (such as a curfew), and frame it as abuse despite her freely agreeing to it. Describes getting married to him as a "promotion" and also admitted she married him despite never being in love with him. When he died she initially praised him for the first year afterward, but then got a book deal and now he is a monster. It just sounds like she took advantage of a lonely old man who paid for attention and affection. Kinda sad.
Looked at the reviews for this and there is surprisingly a lot of woman despite it being a book about Playboy. All of the reviews from the ladies seem to agree Hugh was the villian, but when finding two guys that reviewed this, they seem to be reading the same book as me. Maybe it is a male/female prospective thing here.
Either way, was expecting to hear more about the inner workings of Playboy and less about the author but she went on about herself a lot. Disappointing.
First she describes him as "disgusting" as he was 60 years older than her, despite her CHOOSING to sleep with him on multiple occasions because she wanted access to his "lifestyle" (aka money). Him wanting to be surrounded by young super models was gross, however the young super models wanting to sleep with a man in his 80s for his money was not‽
She slags him off for being constantly lonely and not making a connection with her or any of the other girls, despite the obvious issue that there is a 60 year age gap. Then tries to justify why she was going after his money because she had a hard life, but never justifies why an old man she describes as "lonely" would pay to be constantly shown affection and attention by a bunch of young super models. She also mentions the strange boundaries he would set (such as a curfew), and frame it as abuse despite her freely agreeing to it. Describes getting married to him as a "promotion" and also admitted she married him despite never being in love with him. When he died she initially praised him for the first year afterward, but then got a book deal and now he is a monster. It just sounds like she took advantage of a lonely old man who paid for attention and affection. Kinda sad.
Looked at the reviews for this and there is surprisingly a lot of woman despite it being a book about Playboy. All of the reviews from the ladies seem to agree Hugh was the villian, but when finding two guys that reviewed this, they seem to be reading the same book as me. Maybe it is a male/female prospective thing here.
Either way, was expecting to hear more about the inner workings of Playboy and less about the author but she went on about herself a lot. Disappointing.
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