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Why We Write About Ourselves: Twenty Memoirists on Why They Expose Themselves (and Others) in the Name of Literature
Everything an aspiring memoirist needs to know, in one readable volume, a follow-up to the acclaimed writers’ handbook Why We Write
For the many amateurs and professionals who write about themselves—bloggers, journal-keepers, aspiring essayists, and memoirists—this book offers inspiration, encouragement, and pithy, practical advice. Twenty of America’s bestselling memoirists share their innermost thoughts and hard-earned tips with veteran author Meredith Maran, revealing what drives them to tell their personal stories, and the nuts and bolts of how they do it. Speaking frankly about issues ranging from turning oneself into an authentic, compelling character to exposing hard truths, these successful authors disclose what keeps them going, what gets in their way, and what they love most—and least—about writing about themselves.
For the many amateurs and professionals who write about themselves—bloggers, journal-keepers, aspiring essayists, and memoirists—this book offers inspiration, encouragement, and pithy, practical advice. Twenty of America’s bestselling memoirists share their innermost thoughts and hard-earned tips with veteran author Meredith Maran, revealing what drives them to tell their personal stories, and the nuts and bolts of how they do it. Speaking frankly about issues ranging from turning oneself into an authentic, compelling character to exposing hard truths, these successful authors disclose what keeps them going, what gets in their way, and what they love most—and least—about writing about themselves.
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First published January 26, 2016
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About the author
Meredith Maran
18 books188 followersMEREDITH MARAN is the author of more than a dozen nonfiction books, including Why We Write About Ourselves, Why We Write, and My Lie; and the acclaimed 2012 novel, A Theory of Small Earthquakes. She's a book critic and essayist for newspapers and magazines including the Los Angeles Times, the Boston Globe, the Chicago Tribune, The Los Angeles Review of Books, and Salon.com. The recipient of fellowships from the MacDowell Colony and Yaddo, and a member of the National Book Critics Circle, Meredith lives in a restored historic bungalow in Los Angeles.
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 135 reviews
February 1, 2016
A great collection of first-person pieces from memoir authors, charting their individual journeys into autobiographical writing and giving their top tips. Opinions vary as to whether you have to get the approval of the people who appear in your work – some think that’s essential; others simply change the names and get on with it. Sometimes this has led to fallout within families. One thing everyone agrees on, though, is that a memoir has to be as carefully crafted as any novel, with a clear narrative arc and distinctive dialogue and scenes. You can’t just string together a bunch of things that happened and expect it to make a compelling story.
My favorite pieces were from Kate Christensen, Edwidge Danticat and Darin Strauss. It was also particularly interesting to hear from Sue Monk Kidd since most people think of her as just a novelist. (Much as I love Anne Lamott, I’m not sure why we need a piece from her about writing memoir, given that she so often reflects on her craft in her own essays.)
For anyone else fascinated by memoirs, I’d recommend reading this as a pair with The Art of Memoir by Mary Karr.
My favorite pieces were from Kate Christensen, Edwidge Danticat and Darin Strauss. It was also particularly interesting to hear from Sue Monk Kidd since most people think of her as just a novelist. (Much as I love Anne Lamott, I’m not sure why we need a piece from her about writing memoir, given that she so often reflects on her craft in her own essays.)
For anyone else fascinated by memoirs, I’d recommend reading this as a pair with The Art of Memoir by Mary Karr.
January 10, 2016
I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting from this book, but, wow, it blew me away. In Why We Write about Ourselves, twenty popular authors share their experiences of writing their own memoirs. They speak about revealing themselves, of being painfully honest, of protecting (or not) the ones they love (or don't).
The themes in every chapter are similar (I'm guessing Maran asked specific questions of each author), but, surprisingly, their perspectives vary a lot--much more than I was anticipating. It seems that most authors have a very clear sense of right and wrong. They feel very strongly about when it's okay to reveal and when they need to hold back, when they should protect and when they can let 'er rip. The funny thing is that they don't agree on when that is. They each have strong internal compasses, but they are definitely not all aiming North. It was interesting to see that variation.
I also liked that editor Maran includes what she calls a "vital statistics" section in each chapter. She gives a small intro to the author, then info like date of birth, hometown, a list of family members, schools, current job, and a list of publications. I have read books by about half of the authors featured here, but after reading this book, oh man, my to-be-read list just grew, like, exponentially.
Some of my favorite authors in Why We Write about Ourselves: Ishmael Beah, Kate Christensen, Pat Conroy, Edwidge Danticat, Meghan Daum (she really surprised me with her insight and down-to-earth attitude, actually), Nick Flynn, and Anne Lamott.
At any rate, this is a wonderfully engaging book and a great resource for writers. Definitely worth checking out.
The themes in every chapter are similar (I'm guessing Maran asked specific questions of each author), but, surprisingly, their perspectives vary a lot--much more than I was anticipating. It seems that most authors have a very clear sense of right and wrong. They feel very strongly about when it's okay to reveal and when they need to hold back, when they should protect and when they can let 'er rip. The funny thing is that they don't agree on when that is. They each have strong internal compasses, but they are definitely not all aiming North. It was interesting to see that variation.
I also liked that editor Maran includes what she calls a "vital statistics" section in each chapter. She gives a small intro to the author, then info like date of birth, hometown, a list of family members, schools, current job, and a list of publications. I have read books by about half of the authors featured here, but after reading this book, oh man, my to-be-read list just grew, like, exponentially.
Some of my favorite authors in Why We Write about Ourselves: Ishmael Beah, Kate Christensen, Pat Conroy, Edwidge Danticat, Meghan Daum (she really surprised me with her insight and down-to-earth attitude, actually), Nick Flynn, and Anne Lamott.
At any rate, this is a wonderfully engaging book and a great resource for writers. Definitely worth checking out.
December 27, 2015
The range of writers in this collection is impressive. There were some old favorites of mine and a few who were more or less new to me (I won't say which so I don't expose my own ignorance, immediately breaking a law of memoir writing...). The writers reflect on their own experience and give advice to those trying to write memoirs. And of course, they contradict each other. They have completely different paths to memoir-writing and give different advice. They have different opinions about how to do it best, what is more or less important in life than writing. So it's like the Bible. No matter who you are or what you're trying to write, you'll be able to find inspiration and justification in here. And those who disagree with you will, too.
There are a few things they agree on, though. That writing is tough, and the good memoirs arise out of discomfort or pain. That shitty first drafts are important (and yes, Ann Lamott's is the best... of course it is...). That there's a big big big difference between a memoir and a diary. That they don't regret writing a memoir, however painful or wonderful it was.
If you love writers and writing, go on and read it. It will be time well-invested.
I got a free copy of this from First to Read.
There are a few things they agree on, though. That writing is tough, and the good memoirs arise out of discomfort or pain. That shitty first drafts are important (and yes, Ann Lamott's is the best... of course it is...). That there's a big big big difference between a memoir and a diary. That they don't regret writing a memoir, however painful or wonderful it was.
If you love writers and writing, go on and read it. It will be time well-invested.
I got a free copy of this from First to Read.
June 8, 2024
Oh, my! As if my to-read list isn't already long enough! Reading this book has not only given me 20+ memoirs to add (I've read some that are listed, but many authors wrote multiple volumes of memoirs), but also numerous books of fiction and non-memoir nonfiction written by these authors as well.
If you want to write a memoir, if you're in the process of writing one, or if you're just interested in the genre, I would recommend this book highly. A series of questions were asked of each author; some of them answer them all, some of them veer off into other topics, some just write what they want to write, with minimal attention given to the questions. No matter, I found it all interesting, even if I couldn't really identify with the author's life or experiences. Four stars, the highest rating I give any book that isn't a classic.
If you want to write a memoir, if you're in the process of writing one, or if you're just interested in the genre, I would recommend this book highly. A series of questions were asked of each author; some of them answer them all, some of them veer off into other topics, some just write what they want to write, with minimal attention given to the questions. No matter, I found it all interesting, even if I couldn't really identify with the author's life or experiences. Four stars, the highest rating I give any book that isn't a classic.
May 22, 2023
Published in 2016, "Why We Write About Ourselves: Twenty Memoirists on Why They Expose Themselves (and Others) in the Name of Literature," edited by Meredith Maran, is an excellent collection of essays by bestselling authors on why they write, and what kind of craft tips they recommend to aspiring memoirists.
I'm not an aspiring memoirist, I just happened to crave reading something by Dani Shapiro one night, and this book was the only thing my library owned that Dani Shapiro had contributed a piece of writing to.
I did enjoy Shapiro's essay. My favorites were the essays by Cheryl Strayed and Ayelet Waldman. I've read the work of at least half of these authors, and found myself discovering new books to read.
There are so many people self-publishing memoirs these days, and I've read at least thirty or so in the past few years. When writers pay no attention to craft, and are simply publishing their journal or diary pages, or publishing text that sounds like the kind of unloading I assume people do in a therapist's office, it makes for very mind-numbingly boring, painful reading.
I'm really glad that people can unload in their diaries, or unload to their therapists. Sadly, however, this kind of stuff is not riveting. Listening to it is literally a job -- a job that counselors receive monetary payment for doing -- and I want a book to entertain me, not force me to do unpaid labor. The memoirists in "Why We Write About Ourselves" clearly understand that. So much of their advice consistently stresses paying attention to storytelling: that a successful memoir is a work of successful storytelling. Over and over, these authors state that journal or diary pages alone do not make a memoir.
Hearing these published authors consistently stress this concept healed the battered part of my mind that has slogged through so many badly written self-published memoirs in the past few years. Reading a stranger's diary pages is like taking a mental beating. It also makes you appreciate crafted memoirs all the more.
I'd certainly recommend this book to anyone who is actually seeking advice on writing memoir.
I also know that people who believe their diary pages are worth millions of dollars will never touch a book like this. Power to 'em.
Four stars.
I'm not an aspiring memoirist, I just happened to crave reading something by Dani Shapiro one night, and this book was the only thing my library owned that Dani Shapiro had contributed a piece of writing to.
I did enjoy Shapiro's essay. My favorites were the essays by Cheryl Strayed and Ayelet Waldman. I've read the work of at least half of these authors, and found myself discovering new books to read.
There are so many people self-publishing memoirs these days, and I've read at least thirty or so in the past few years. When writers pay no attention to craft, and are simply publishing their journal or diary pages, or publishing text that sounds like the kind of unloading I assume people do in a therapist's office, it makes for very mind-numbingly boring, painful reading.
I'm really glad that people can unload in their diaries, or unload to their therapists. Sadly, however, this kind of stuff is not riveting. Listening to it is literally a job -- a job that counselors receive monetary payment for doing -- and I want a book to entertain me, not force me to do unpaid labor. The memoirists in "Why We Write About Ourselves" clearly understand that. So much of their advice consistently stresses paying attention to storytelling: that a successful memoir is a work of successful storytelling. Over and over, these authors state that journal or diary pages alone do not make a memoir.
Hearing these published authors consistently stress this concept healed the battered part of my mind that has slogged through so many badly written self-published memoirs in the past few years. Reading a stranger's diary pages is like taking a mental beating. It also makes you appreciate crafted memoirs all the more.
I'd certainly recommend this book to anyone who is actually seeking advice on writing memoir.
I also know that people who believe their diary pages are worth millions of dollars will never touch a book like this. Power to 'em.
Four stars.
May 23, 2016
(I should note, initially, that I did receive this book as part of the GoodReads Giveaways program. This did not, however, actively affect my review of the book. This book was, undeniably, the best of the free GoodReads books I've read to date.)
I was terribly surprised when this book arrived on my front porch. Given the fact that I've read so many biographies, autobiographies, and memoirs lately (Jessa Crispin's The Dead Ladies Project: Exiles, Expats, and Ex-Countries, Kirsten Gillibrand's Off the Sidelines: Raise Your Voice, Change the World, Amy Poehler's Yes Please...), it came at the ideal time, and I enjoyed looked forward to getting a "meta" approach to the genre. I tend to gravitate to books on writing, anyway. (Anne Lammott's Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life and Ray Bradbury's Zen in the Art of Writing: Essays on Creativity come to mind, in particular.) Admittedly, given the topic and format of the book, it wouldn't take much for Meredith Maran and her motley group of memoirists to win me over.
Why We Write About Ourselves offers not only insight as to why and how each writer approaches the genre, but also advice and warnings for the aspiring memoirist. As a notably egocentric and mildly narcissistic person, I enjoyed particularly sections at the back of each memoirist's chapter listing the author's "Wisdom for Memoir Writers."
A few common themes ring out within this advice:
1) A memoir is not a diary,
2) Don't hold back on your first draft,
3) Be conscious of the effect your writing will have one those you love, and
4) Respect the narrative form a much as you would in fiction.
Much of the book, in fact, discusses the interplay between fiction and non-fiction, truth and fabrication, memoir and creative personal essay. It was on this topic that the writers most frequently disagreed. Some authors believe that if a writer is frightened about exposing him or herself, he/she ought to stick to fiction writing. Some authors believe that memoirs ought to remain entirely truthful, while others believe that some fabrication or elaboration could be included so as to develop a coherent narrative. Still others believe that some elements of the narrative could be abandoned altogether under the pretense that the memoir is factual and need not be "plot hole"-free. Some writers even discuss the mixing of the memoir and novel forms, including actual events and persons within their fictional body of work.
Perhaps the only two drawbacks I found with this book were my now further-lengthened "to-read list" (which has now been expanded to include Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace by Ayelet Waldman and The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd) and a newly rejuvenated insatiable desire to continue writing about myself.
God help us all.
I was terribly surprised when this book arrived on my front porch. Given the fact that I've read so many biographies, autobiographies, and memoirs lately (Jessa Crispin's The Dead Ladies Project: Exiles, Expats, and Ex-Countries, Kirsten Gillibrand's Off the Sidelines: Raise Your Voice, Change the World, Amy Poehler's Yes Please...), it came at the ideal time, and I enjoyed looked forward to getting a "meta" approach to the genre. I tend to gravitate to books on writing, anyway. (Anne Lammott's Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life and Ray Bradbury's Zen in the Art of Writing: Essays on Creativity come to mind, in particular.) Admittedly, given the topic and format of the book, it wouldn't take much for Meredith Maran and her motley group of memoirists to win me over.
Why We Write About Ourselves offers not only insight as to why and how each writer approaches the genre, but also advice and warnings for the aspiring memoirist. As a notably egocentric and mildly narcissistic person, I enjoyed particularly sections at the back of each memoirist's chapter listing the author's "Wisdom for Memoir Writers."
A few common themes ring out within this advice:
1) A memoir is not a diary,
2) Don't hold back on your first draft,
3) Be conscious of the effect your writing will have one those you love, and
4) Respect the narrative form a much as you would in fiction.
Much of the book, in fact, discusses the interplay between fiction and non-fiction, truth and fabrication, memoir and creative personal essay. It was on this topic that the writers most frequently disagreed. Some authors believe that if a writer is frightened about exposing him or herself, he/she ought to stick to fiction writing. Some authors believe that memoirs ought to remain entirely truthful, while others believe that some fabrication or elaboration could be included so as to develop a coherent narrative. Still others believe that some elements of the narrative could be abandoned altogether under the pretense that the memoir is factual and need not be "plot hole"-free. Some writers even discuss the mixing of the memoir and novel forms, including actual events and persons within their fictional body of work.
Perhaps the only two drawbacks I found with this book were my now further-lengthened "to-read list" (which has now been expanded to include Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace by Ayelet Waldman and The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd) and a newly rejuvenated insatiable desire to continue writing about myself.
God help us all.
October 21, 2015
I got to read this before it is released because my writing teacher had the galleys. It's a great collection of essays by a variety of rock star memoirists. I found the advice extremely helpful, some more than others. But there was something to take away from each and every essay. I read Kate Christensen's essay twice.
January 6, 2016
I read a lot of memoirs, so I really loved reading Why We Write About Ourselves. I felt like I was able to get inside the heads of some of my favorite authors. These essays also introduced me to a few new authors, whose books I will definitely be reading in the near future.
It was interesting to see how the reasons for writing differed from author to author, but what I found most fascinating was that each author has his or her own set of rules when it comes to writing memoir. Some of the authors had a fairly similar code they lived by while others had a more unorthodox approach. Learning these rules helps readers understand what the memoirist is telling us (and is choosing not to tell us) a little better.
(I received an advance copy through the Penguin Random House program First to Read.)
It was interesting to see how the reasons for writing differed from author to author, but what I found most fascinating was that each author has his or her own set of rules when it comes to writing memoir. Some of the authors had a fairly similar code they lived by while others had a more unorthodox approach. Learning these rules helps readers understand what the memoirist is telling us (and is choosing not to tell us) a little better.
(I received an advance copy through the Penguin Random House program First to Read.)
December 4, 2015
I received this book as part of the Penguin Random House First to Read program.
As an aspiring writer, Why We Write About Ourselves opened my eyes to a whole new realm of writing that I hadn't considered entering. The featured authors' essays on why they write memoirs were triumphant, interesting and honest.
I love memoirs and I believe those who write them bare their souls to the world in the hope to offer a universal truth, an empathy that we have not yet connected with. Some of my favorites: Sue Monk Kidd, Cheryl Strayed, A.M. Homes, Ayelet Waldman, Anne Lamott, Nick Flynn.... All of their stories are lovely and their advice authentic. This collection energized me and sparked within me something I didn't know I wanted to write.
Kudos to the editor on this one! If nothing else, you will come out at the end with an extensive to-read book list.
As an aspiring writer, Why We Write About Ourselves opened my eyes to a whole new realm of writing that I hadn't considered entering. The featured authors' essays on why they write memoirs were triumphant, interesting and honest.
I love memoirs and I believe those who write them bare their souls to the world in the hope to offer a universal truth, an empathy that we have not yet connected with. Some of my favorites: Sue Monk Kidd, Cheryl Strayed, A.M. Homes, Ayelet Waldman, Anne Lamott, Nick Flynn.... All of their stories are lovely and their advice authentic. This collection energized me and sparked within me something I didn't know I wanted to write.
Kudos to the editor on this one! If nothing else, you will come out at the end with an extensive to-read book list.
December 3, 2015
I recently read Mary Karr’s Art of Memoir and loved her insightful advice and anecdotes. This covers similar topics but includes information from twenty different authors. It was interesting, if a little repetitive, and I definitely have a load of books to add to my TBR after reading. I read it straight through in one sitting but I would recommend dipping into it between books or to get ideas for further reading. I am not planning on writing a memoir but I would suggest reading Karr’s book in addition to this one if you plan on doing so. Overall, I enjoyed it and liked all of the author’s included. I received an ARC of this book from Penguin's First to Read Program in exchange for an honest review.
August 6, 2018
This book asks some of the best memoirists of our time to tell us how and why they write about themselves. Why memoir instead of novels? How do they feel about exposing their own private lives or the lives of those they love? What advice do they have for others who feel the need to commit memoir? Pat Conroy, Cheryl Strayed, Anne Lamott, Sue Monk Kidd, Edwidge Danticat, James McBride and others answer honestly and in depth. The result is fascinating reading for anyone and better than an MFA for the would-be memoirist. Maran, a memoirist herself, has done a great job organizing and introducing the writers in this volume. I have highlighted many passages for re-reading. My only problem now is that I want to read all of the books by all of the authors included here.
November 8, 2015
A fascinating look at memoir writing .A group of essays written by some of my favorite memoirists Annie Lamott Dani Shapiro Sandra Tsing Loh a wonderful group of writers who r eveal their process the intimate art of writing a memoir.They share people's reactions to seeing themselves in these memoirs both good&bad.For those who are planning on writing a memoir or just enjoy reading them this book is a treasure.
May 21, 2016
Amazing! If you want to be a memoirist or just love to read them, this is one to get!
December 28, 2018
A fairly slight book that I didn't love or hate. Mostly a good opportunity to find new books and authors to read.
October 26, 2019
I took my time reading this book and taking in the guidance, experience and advice the different authors shared about writing memoir. I would highly recommend for anyone looking into writing a memoir and/or similar type book. However even if you are not writing or thinking about writing this is a very interesting read about the different aspects of what went into the various authors writing about themselves.
April 2, 2019
This is a fabulous collection for anyone who writes creative nonfiction, or enjoys reading memoir. I finished it with a lot of new memoirs on my to read list, and lots of great advice to implement in my own work.
February 2, 2016
Memoirs. Love them or hate them?
If you love them you'll definitely want to check out this book. If you hate them...you also may want to check this one out as it might help you appreciate memoirs (or, I suppose, it may solidify your hatred. Que sera, sera).
Although the publisher's blurb above is aimed toward writers, this book will also be of interest to readers of memoirs and an excellent resource for book groups that read memoirs.
When looking at a collection of essays featuring various writers, I tend to focus in on and enjoy those chapters by (or about) authors I already know and love. What was exciting for me about this book is that I was turned on to writers I haven't read or, in some cases, hadn't yet heard of.
There are twenty writers featured:
Ishmael Beah
Kate Christensen
Pearl Cleage
Pat Conroy
Kelly Corrigan
Edwidge Danticat
Meghan Daum
Nick Flynn
A. M. Homes
Sue Monk Kidd
Anne Lamott
Sandra Tsing Loh
James McBride
Dani Shapiro
David Sheff
Darin Strauss
Cheryl Strayed
Ayelet Waldman
Jesmyn Ward
Edmund White
Each chapter follows this format:
-An opening quote from the writer's work
-A short intro to the writer
-A text box listing the writer's vitals (birthday, home, family, social media, etc)
-A text box listing his or her collected works
-Then comes the meat: the writer starts off by answering the question, "Why I write about myself"and takes of from there for a few or more pages, writing about their writing experience
-The chapter ends with a bullet pointed list of advice for memoir writers
I really dig this format. It gives the reader a well-rounded and consistent introduction to each writer and then lets the writer say what he or she wants to say. I now want to read everything that all twenty writers wrote (Been there, done that only in the case of Pat Conroy). I must admit that there are some popular memoirs written by a few of these writers that I avoided because they were so popular. (Yes, I'm one of those readers who sometimes avoids popular books. When I eventually read them I tend to enjoy the hell out of them.) I will keep this book in my reference section. It will be helpful to re-read a writer's chapter either before or after I read their memoir. It certainly encouraged me to press on with my own memoir writing.
In a book filled with helpful advice and great insights on just about every page, here are two that resonated with me:
*Favorite quote from an writer I'm familiar with: "Memoirs hurt people. Secrets hurt people. The question to ask yourself is, if you tell your story, will it do enough good to make it worth hurting people?" ~ Pat Conroy
*Favorite quote from a writer I haven't yet read: "I firmly believe that there are things we already know and spend a lot of time resisting. You can try, but the amount of energy you spend trying not to know what you already know will be exhausting." ~ A.M. Homes
http://wildmoobooks.blogspot.com/2016...
If you love them you'll definitely want to check out this book. If you hate them...you also may want to check this one out as it might help you appreciate memoirs (or, I suppose, it may solidify your hatred. Que sera, sera).
Although the publisher's blurb above is aimed toward writers, this book will also be of interest to readers of memoirs and an excellent resource for book groups that read memoirs.
When looking at a collection of essays featuring various writers, I tend to focus in on and enjoy those chapters by (or about) authors I already know and love. What was exciting for me about this book is that I was turned on to writers I haven't read or, in some cases, hadn't yet heard of.
There are twenty writers featured:
Ishmael Beah
Kate Christensen
Pearl Cleage
Pat Conroy
Kelly Corrigan
Edwidge Danticat
Meghan Daum
Nick Flynn
A. M. Homes
Sue Monk Kidd
Anne Lamott
Sandra Tsing Loh
James McBride
Dani Shapiro
David Sheff
Darin Strauss
Cheryl Strayed
Ayelet Waldman
Jesmyn Ward
Edmund White
Each chapter follows this format:
-An opening quote from the writer's work
-A short intro to the writer
-A text box listing the writer's vitals (birthday, home, family, social media, etc)
-A text box listing his or her collected works
-Then comes the meat: the writer starts off by answering the question, "Why I write about myself"and takes of from there for a few or more pages, writing about their writing experience
-The chapter ends with a bullet pointed list of advice for memoir writers
I really dig this format. It gives the reader a well-rounded and consistent introduction to each writer and then lets the writer say what he or she wants to say. I now want to read everything that all twenty writers wrote (Been there, done that only in the case of Pat Conroy). I must admit that there are some popular memoirs written by a few of these writers that I avoided because they were so popular. (Yes, I'm one of those readers who sometimes avoids popular books. When I eventually read them I tend to enjoy the hell out of them.) I will keep this book in my reference section. It will be helpful to re-read a writer's chapter either before or after I read their memoir. It certainly encouraged me to press on with my own memoir writing.
In a book filled with helpful advice and great insights on just about every page, here are two that resonated with me:
*Favorite quote from an writer I'm familiar with: "Memoirs hurt people. Secrets hurt people. The question to ask yourself is, if you tell your story, will it do enough good to make it worth hurting people?" ~ Pat Conroy
*Favorite quote from a writer I haven't yet read: "I firmly believe that there are things we already know and spend a lot of time resisting. You can try, but the amount of energy you spend trying not to know what you already know will be exhausting." ~ A.M. Homes
http://wildmoobooks.blogspot.com/2016...
December 21, 2021
Memoir writing is a dangerous game. With fiction, you can try to avoid hurting other people. With memoir, your blood and guts are out there, on display for anyone interested to see. There seems to be a trend (which happened after this book had been published) towards increasing autobiographicalization of work--that is, critics reading autobiography into fiction, and writers playing with that idea in a sort of game, in which truth of the happening is assured.
It takes a particular type of confidence and courage to present oneself without ornamentation, as the flawed beings we all are. This book is not so much an example of that practice, as it is writers discussing their process.
Sometimes it seems to me that memoir is the most powerful genre, and that any other sort of writing has a layer of untruth about it. Even with meticulously researched non-fiction, we cannot see inside the mind of any other person but ourselves, so only in memoir may we be the final authority on the truth of our own experience. Of course, there are always competing narratives, but a good memoir will instill trust in the reader that they are not being misled by a narcissist. All of the writers collected in this volume seem to understand that idea.
By reading about other people's true experiences, we can set a kind of barometer for our own. Is life fair? Not a chance. Should it be fair? I think most can agree that it should be. Not every writer gets published. Yet they are told that having done the work for themselves is a reward in itself. Sometimes, it seems the easiest way to get published is to write a controversial essay about regrettable actions or personal trauma. The risk is that the first things one publishes may pigeonhole them into the "one hit wonder" category; each of these writers seem to have escaped this fate, yet they all have their bete-noires and favorite topics.
In short, these are all gifted writers, and their guidelines for writing memoir will be a valuable resource for all writers. I would particularly recommend it for high schoolers writing college admissions essays, since it seems more of those are produced than any other form of memoir, but also for the increasing number of writers that have felt their fiction lacks a certain authenticity.
Note that the review below was excerpted by a major publishing house, one of the high points in the life of this blog.
http://flyinghouses.blogspot.com/2016...
It takes a particular type of confidence and courage to present oneself without ornamentation, as the flawed beings we all are. This book is not so much an example of that practice, as it is writers discussing their process.
Sometimes it seems to me that memoir is the most powerful genre, and that any other sort of writing has a layer of untruth about it. Even with meticulously researched non-fiction, we cannot see inside the mind of any other person but ourselves, so only in memoir may we be the final authority on the truth of our own experience. Of course, there are always competing narratives, but a good memoir will instill trust in the reader that they are not being misled by a narcissist. All of the writers collected in this volume seem to understand that idea.
By reading about other people's true experiences, we can set a kind of barometer for our own. Is life fair? Not a chance. Should it be fair? I think most can agree that it should be. Not every writer gets published. Yet they are told that having done the work for themselves is a reward in itself. Sometimes, it seems the easiest way to get published is to write a controversial essay about regrettable actions or personal trauma. The risk is that the first things one publishes may pigeonhole them into the "one hit wonder" category; each of these writers seem to have escaped this fate, yet they all have their bete-noires and favorite topics.
In short, these are all gifted writers, and their guidelines for writing memoir will be a valuable resource for all writers. I would particularly recommend it for high schoolers writing college admissions essays, since it seems more of those are produced than any other form of memoir, but also for the increasing number of writers that have felt their fiction lacks a certain authenticity.
Note that the review below was excerpted by a major publishing house, one of the high points in the life of this blog.
http://flyinghouses.blogspot.com/2016...
August 6, 2016
Memoir is my favorite genre to read and think about, probably the genre I read more than any other. I read a lot *about* memoir too. As a freelance editor, I frequently work with memoirists who grapple with the issues that circle through this little gem of a book. What is the truth, must you protect others (or must you not), how do you navigate telling harsh stories about others in your life, what is the difference between memoir and just telling the stories you always tell? Why write memoir, anyway? In this volume, Nick Flynn's answer to that question is, "A memoir is not simply stringing together the five or ten good stories you’ve been telling about your wacky childhood for your whole life. To cross the threshold into the deeper mysteries, you need to ask yourself why you’ve been telling those particular stories, and not the millions of others you could tell."
This book is like a Whitman's sampler -- little nuggets of thoughts and advice from twenty well-known memoirists, along with a brief intro and some quick facts about them. I would have preferred more from the memoirists and less from the volume's editor, but then that's what their books are for. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book, and listening to so many who have struggled with the various issues inherent in writing memoir. Often their thoughts differ, one from the other, which is fascinating. Even if you only love reading memoir, this book will be a fascinating peak behind the curtain. And if you are writing memoir, this book should be on your shelf as an entry point into the issues you are facing.
This book is like a Whitman's sampler -- little nuggets of thoughts and advice from twenty well-known memoirists, along with a brief intro and some quick facts about them. I would have preferred more from the memoirists and less from the volume's editor, but then that's what their books are for. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book, and listening to so many who have struggled with the various issues inherent in writing memoir. Often their thoughts differ, one from the other, which is fascinating. Even if you only love reading memoir, this book will be a fascinating peak behind the curtain. And if you are writing memoir, this book should be on your shelf as an entry point into the issues you are facing.
April 7, 2016
Meredith Maran has collected an incredible group of writers who straddle both classical memoir and personal essay. I was thrilled to get under the hood and see how the engine works with such writers as AM Homes, Ayelet Waldman, Nick Flynn, Cheryl Strayed, Annie Lamott, Sue Monk Kidd, Meghan Daum, the late Pat Conroy...and more. They all write for different reasons, according to rules of their own making, and by their own methods. No one can accuse memoirists of all being the same, except for the depth of their insight and the quality of their prose.
The only crime is my local Barnes & Noble has their books shoved into the Biography category, when clearly this is a very different art form. I've heard memoir described as looking in one window of a person's house. I'm grateful that these writers have so many interesting and well-decorated rooms. When they they continue to invite us inside it forces us to consider our own lives. This will be a standard in every memoir collection and a valuable tool for all who dare write about themselves. Thank-you, Meredith Maran!
The only crime is my local Barnes & Noble has their books shoved into the Biography category, when clearly this is a very different art form. I've heard memoir described as looking in one window of a person's house. I'm grateful that these writers have so many interesting and well-decorated rooms. When they they continue to invite us inside it forces us to consider our own lives. This will be a standard in every memoir collection and a valuable tool for all who dare write about themselves. Thank-you, Meredith Maran!
May 7, 2017
This book is a wonderful resource for anyone who writes creative nonfiction or memoirs OR anyone who loves reading those genres. This is one I'll come back to time and time again- I've dog-eared, underlined, and highlighted many passages in this book. I also got a great list of new books to read. The general themes are: be honest, be considerate, write with unity in mind. (Or at least that's what I picked up.)
- "Keep writing until you figure out the significance of your most vivid memories." -Kelly Corrigan
- "People are struggling; make yourself useful." -Kelly Corrigan
- "...some of us are designated rememberers. Why do we remember? I don't know. But I think that's why memoir interests us- because we're the ones who pass the stories."- Pat Conroy
- "It's impossible to write about yourself when you're hiding." -Kate Christensen
- "To me, a personal essay is a piece in which I use my own experiences as a lens to look at larger, more universal issues and phenomena." -Meghan Daum
- "Keep writing until you figure out the significance of your most vivid memories." -Kelly Corrigan
- "People are struggling; make yourself useful." -Kelly Corrigan
- "...some of us are designated rememberers. Why do we remember? I don't know. But I think that's why memoir interests us- because we're the ones who pass the stories."- Pat Conroy
- "It's impossible to write about yourself when you're hiding." -Kate Christensen
- "To me, a personal essay is a piece in which I use my own experiences as a lens to look at larger, more universal issues and phenomena." -Meghan Daum
June 10, 2018
I was a little bit underwhelmed by this compilation, however there were definitely gems to be found with persistence. At times it felt like a politically correct role call of every marginal and minority group, some of whom seemed to be included simply for that reason. Maran sacrificed depth for breadth. Wondering why some these authors stories had even been told left me impatient, but also encouraged some useful reflection regards my own memoir aspirations. Wanting not to be a hypocrite, i focused on authors with a dynamic attitude and positive message.
Stephen King's On Writing, or Jackman's The Writer's Mentor are both more inspirational than this compilation. Vorhaus's The Comic Tool Box contains the most effective strategies for making writing more appealing. Get dark, tell about the pain, but then make them laugh. Why do so many people want to write a book? So much evil comes from the stories that never get a chance to be told.
Stephen King's On Writing, or Jackman's The Writer's Mentor are both more inspirational than this compilation. Vorhaus's The Comic Tool Box contains the most effective strategies for making writing more appealing. Get dark, tell about the pain, but then make them laugh. Why do so many people want to write a book? So much evil comes from the stories that never get a chance to be told.
March 12, 2016
I received this through the Goodreads Giveaway Program. Thank you so much!
First off I have to admit that it cleared up a misconception on my part as to what exactly a memoir is. It is so much more than a journal!
Secondly I was struck by the number of memoirists who were also journalists, playwrights, authors of film adaptations and novelists, writers of essays, columns, non fiction and fiction, as well as poets and authors of cookbooks! The number who wrote multiple memoirs was also intriguing.
I guess, above all else, they were simply authors who were driven to write... across genres. Their insights, especially about honesty as a writer, were thought provoking and self-reflective.
If nothing else, after reading this collection, you'll want to pick up a pen and begin, or continue, to record your own history.
First off I have to admit that it cleared up a misconception on my part as to what exactly a memoir is. It is so much more than a journal!
Secondly I was struck by the number of memoirists who were also journalists, playwrights, authors of film adaptations and novelists, writers of essays, columns, non fiction and fiction, as well as poets and authors of cookbooks! The number who wrote multiple memoirs was also intriguing.
I guess, above all else, they were simply authors who were driven to write... across genres. Their insights, especially about honesty as a writer, were thought provoking and self-reflective.
If nothing else, after reading this collection, you'll want to pick up a pen and begin, or continue, to record your own history.
December 9, 2015
I read an advance copy of this through Penguin's First to Read program. I definitely want a copy of my own when it is published, to return to again and again for inspiration. It was great to read the thoughts on writing, life, memory and memoir by so many masters of the craft. However, their thoughts on memoirs were so conflicting that I don't feel any closer to knowing what a memoir should be. "You must tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth!" said some of the writers. "Memoir is how you remember it, and it is okay to leave things out and even embellish as long as you're not outright lying!" said others. I guess that's true of all writing advice - for every five people who believe one way is best, there will be five who say the complete opposite.
January 22, 2016
To commit a life to print, the author makes...
a declaration that ALL is as it WAS...
It adds nothing to a life lived reading about every cankering slight...
life shift, the unfortunate passing of a spouse or a sudden awareness...
driven by self-pity, that the beat-back-death-game is hopeless...
A memoir is a DNA affair, the reader...
led from one subjective deciphering to the next...
really, really, is it true or misremembered?
or is it a, "my take on this" recidivist pumping the page count?
the wistful "back when" introspection isn't any different...
than 100 billion others who are singing a lost youth tune...
Born, live, die...force the eyelids shut - body bag in aisle three. Finite...
A Chris Roberts Review
a declaration that ALL is as it WAS...
It adds nothing to a life lived reading about every cankering slight...
life shift, the unfortunate passing of a spouse or a sudden awareness...
driven by self-pity, that the beat-back-death-game is hopeless...
A memoir is a DNA affair, the reader...
led from one subjective deciphering to the next...
really, really, is it true or misremembered?
or is it a, "my take on this" recidivist pumping the page count?
the wistful "back when" introspection isn't any different...
than 100 billion others who are singing a lost youth tune...
Born, live, die...force the eyelids shut - body bag in aisle three. Finite...
A Chris Roberts Review
February 10, 2016
This is one of the best books about writing I have read in a decade since Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird, only here you get Lamott plus 19 other strong writers talking about the responsibility and craft of writing memoirs. As a memoir writer, myself, I find it most helpful in dealing with the multiple issues of personal writing. The question of responsibility to others and self and truth are spoken of frankly and with much insight from experience. All don't agree, but that is part of the beauty of the book. It's like listening to an interview with each one day at a time. It opens the field and does what memoir seeks to do...tell the truth for each. I strongly recommend it for any writers no matter what the type of writing they are doing.
November 20, 2019
We're all just looking for truth, aren't we.
This is a quick, wonderful and highly informative read! I love memoirs and stumbled upon this book by accident. Not only did it actually bring to light so many things I don't actually think of when I'm reading memoirs but it inspired me to look up every single memoirist I read about and I've added nearly 10 new books that I want to read to my Wish List. That's the power of a good book and excellent writing-- it allows you to want more. I recommend this book wholly for anyone who loves reading memoirs, anyone who simply loves to read and anyone who may need a little nudge as they work on their own personal memoir.
This is a quick, wonderful and highly informative read! I love memoirs and stumbled upon this book by accident. Not only did it actually bring to light so many things I don't actually think of when I'm reading memoirs but it inspired me to look up every single memoirist I read about and I've added nearly 10 new books that I want to read to my Wish List. That's the power of a good book and excellent writing-- it allows you to want more. I recommend this book wholly for anyone who loves reading memoirs, anyone who simply loves to read and anyone who may need a little nudge as they work on their own personal memoir.
March 10, 2016
This collection contains an interesting mix of authors reflecting on their own and other writers memoirs. Many have also written novels which many feel are harder to write than memoirs. Often they teach in MFA programs. My favorites included Edmund White, Anne Lamott, Edwidge Danticat and Sandra Tsing Loh. Many speak about how revealing family secrets was a mistake and they were sorry they offended relatives. Each author gives tips for those contemplating writing their own memoirs. They encourage them to just get started!
July 27, 2018
Another find for 50 cents at the Friends of the Library. I read most of it in one evening and took a few notes on memoirists that I would like to read. Several of them were authors I have read: Edmund White, James McBride, Edwidge Dandicat, Anne Lamott, and Kelly Corrigan. So it was interesting to read their advice and the reasons why they wrote. There were others I don't really care to read with accounts of tragic events, affairs, abortions. I may try to find memoirs by Sue Monk Kidd and possibly Dana Shapiro.
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