Know Not Why

Know Not Why #1

by Hannah Johnson

Howie gets a job at Artie Kraft's Arts 'N Crafts hoping to score with his lady coworkers. After all, girls love a sensitive guy, and what's more sensitive than dedicating your life to selling yarn and ... stuff? (Okay, so maybe it'd be a good idea to actually learn what one sells at an arts 'n crafts store.) But things don't go exactly according to plan. Coworker #1 is Cora: tiny, much-pierced, and way too fierce to screw with in any sense. Coworker #2 is Kristy: blonde, bubbly, unattainable perfection. And Coworker #3 is, well, Arthur. It goes without saying that he’s not an option. Right?

… Right?

Yeah, Howie’s life just got straight up confusing.

Pun intended.

Genres: M M Romance, Romance, LGBT, Contemporary, Young Adult, New Adult, Humor

317 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 23, 2012

About the author

Hannah Johnson lives in Alaska. Know Not Why is her first novel. There are many more in the works!

Reviews

[Julio Genao · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought it was rubbish, thank you for asking.



An ill-advised rhetorical device dooms a promising story to the brackish and mosquito-ridden end of the FML, why-am-I-reading-this-many-words-that-cause-me-pain literary pool.

Some will enjoy this a lot. Check it out; it's not terribly bad—but if you're irritated with the protagonist's early-and-often, inane, repetitive, juvenile and horridly self-centered and ill-tempered monologuing, be advised: it only gets worse.

As for me, all I could think were the following two things:

1. I'm on deadline.

2. What if I died reading this shitty book?

So: chucked.

Further explanation and cruel mockery (plus bonus author malfeasance and poorly-conceived sock-puppetry!) here:

http://www.goodreads.com/user_status/...

(That means I got trolled, Mom.)

[Heather K (dentist in my spare time) · Rating 4 out of 5]

**4.5 stars**

"Know Not Why" is my type of book. I love funny books, anything that shows cleverness and has fast, snappy dialogue. Oh my, this book had that in spades. I wanted to quote every page that I read; the dialog was crazy funny in the best possible way. I couldn't help but adore this book. It was one of those books that makes you happy. It was just so sweet. I also fell in love with all of the characters. Hannah Johnson did a fab job creating unique, fully developed personalities for this book. I could totally picture each and every single one of them and I wanted them all to be my friends.

My minor complaints? I could have used a LOT more heat. Like a LOT. The perv in me wanted vivid descriptions of Howie and Arthur getting it on. VIVID. I also wanted a bit more romance. More special moments between Arthur and Howie. It bordered on a little "buddy-buddy" for me. Overall, this book was very cute and a wonderful read.

[Jaidee · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 "fifteen year old girl" stars!!!

2016 - 2nd Most Fun Review to Write

My bf saw me reading this when I started it....read the description...rolled his big brown eyes...and said...."when you going to pick up Les Miserables again and stop reading this crap". Well he unleased a fifteen year old girl demon inside me and she is insisting on writing this review before she leaves my body.

"Shut up Jaidee. It's hard being inside you. You think a lot about boring stuff and also some stuff that as a fifteen year old I should not be exposed to but I think Robert Downey Jr. is really cute too. Anyways this book was ok....well really it mostly sucked but like at times it was really awesome and made me cry but other times made me like so mad. Jaidee turn off that awful nineties Tori Amos...you can at least put on some Lana Del Rey... we both love her. Anyhow this book drove me nuts like who are the characters...they are like cartoons...I wanted to kill them and like nobody acts like them and the jokes were like really lame but I cried too you know. Jaidee that was your bloody fault...omg I'm saying bloody like you now Jaidee....that really sucks. Anyways some of it was really like sweet. Jaidee don't you dare eat another cupcake...I'm getting soooooo fat inside you. Ok 1 more but you are going to the gym tomorrow and no excuses. Anyways whats with the names of Artie and Howie for the gay guys...that's like so unfuckin sexy....I mean they are not puppies right....neutered dogs more like it...thats not how boys act...come to think of it thats how like teenage girls act...like pretending we think sex is gross but really its not right...in fact Artie and Howie were more like repressed lesbians in their forties...not that I would know about that. Jaidee your in your forties what do you think? O shut up and don't say it Jaidee...your bf is soooo right you can be so tiresome....fuck I love that word...tiresome. Anyhow, like this book mostly sucked but kinda sweet too. I saw you gave it 2.5 stars and like I kinda agree with you but not really. Hey I'm going to tell everyone on Goodreads that you saw the ABFAB movie this week....that's how cliche you are buddy. So like yeah cut out this shit and be a man and go back to reading Les Miserables and that means the book not putting on the soundtrack and singing along. Anyhow Jaidee I'm going to miss you but I'm going to haunt Miss Lindsay Lohan now. By the way my name is Tiffany. Ya the name sucks but even us demons can't choose our names. See ya and lose some weight Jaidee. Just kidding you sensitive idiot but yeah you eat way too many sweets and I won't tell anybody how many diet pepsis you had today. K Jaidee I'm outa here. Ariverderchi Roma."

whew shes gone and ya this book is over......hurrah on both counts ;DD

[M · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm having one of those weeks where I just really need a hug. I really, really needed to read something with no angst, no bitterness, no unnecessary violence; something that's sweet without making me roll my eyes too much and funny enough to keep me entertained. This was it. My literary hug. In a huge way. It was exactly what I needed right now. There's no melodrama, no mystery and very little conflict. It's about (and narrated by) Howie, who, can I just say, is goddamn hilarious. I don't know whether my threshold for funny has been lowered or what, but I laughed my black little heart out. He is the king of side-splitting spastic monologues (and the banter, oh god, the banter!). He's this very ordinary guy, with these very ordinary post-adolescent insecurities. The story revolves around his relationships with the various people in his life. With his attraction to his (male) boss taking a starring role. But, see, this isn't like M/M romance; it's more a coming of age comedy. There's nothing explicit about it, it's just unbelievably sweet and awesome. There's no plot to speak of, and I couldn't have cared less. Plus, I liked every single person in this book. Seriously, ALL OF THEM. That is so rare. That an author can come up with such a diverse cast of lovable characters, all of them unique and every one of them someone I would totally hang out with, is a freaking miracle. I'm not sure if it's just the mood I'm in, but this book was heartfelt and wonderful. So screw all you guys who end up not liking it. It is freaking golden.

[Jilly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, it was ... cute. I guess. And, clean. And mushy.
Hmmm, no wonder I can only rate it a 3. Those are so not my bag, baby!
Give me dirty, sarcastic, and no cheesiness and I'm much happier.

But, for those who like a really sweet romance that is a "figuring out he's gay" deal, here you go. It's adorable.

This guy, Howie, who is as mature as a 13 year old boy, but is 22, gets a job at a craft store because he wants to get girls. But, he ends up having more chemistry with the owner, Arthur. Arthur is as mature as a 65 year old man, but is also in his 20's. So, yeah. It's funny at times and adorable all the time, and there is absolutely NO sex of any kind, so...
yeah.

[Heller · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved, loved, loved this book. Very coming of age that's not quite YA but classified more like new adult, college age.

Howie starts to work at a mom and pop arts and crafts store in the hopes of getting laid. His logic is that the women who work and shop there will see his sensitive, creative side and want to jump his bones.

Not exactly the best plan. ;)

The store is being run by the owners' son, Arthur. A man struggling under the pressure to keep the store afloat when competition from a larger box craft store is a looming threat.

These two guys don't exactly hit it off but then a rain storm, a bunch of shoplifting high school kids, and the store's aisle of fake flowers all conspire together to shift their relationship.

This story is told by Howie and it is delicious. He is at times a horrible, obnoxious guy who can be incredibly sweet and troubled. Lots of quippy banter here and I couldn't get enough of it was so much fun to read.

Fantastic secondary characters here. Friends and family. This is a wonderful coming out story. If I had a quibble it would be that Artie acted far too old for his age, he was no more than two or three years older than Howie but seemed more like ten in some cases Still, that's so minor, and I loved the contrast, tbh.

I want more of this group. It was a satisfying ending but I want to see what comes next for Howie and Artie. Highly recommended read. I know I'll go back to this again and again.

[Tiya Rosa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book owned me, you guys. When I was done, all I wanted to do was pleasure it orally while giving it chaste kisses and then serenading it with As The World Falls Down as I walk it to its door. I love each and every word on its pages and am currently struggling not to stalk Hannah Johnson online.

Howie is 22, lives at home, insistent in his heterosexuality and is a bit of an asshole in his pursuit to prove it. He applies for a job at an arts and crafts store 'cause he thinks it's a perfect place to pick girls up, but finds that not only is he not getting dates, he's also starting to fall for his very male boss, Artie. We read about his everyday misadventures at work, we root for his HEA, and we meet some of the most real and likable people in the genre.

The story is told in the first person by Howie and when we meet him, he's just this spaz with an awesome sense of humor whose employment in a small-town store actually caused his mother to bake a cake.

"Apparently my ability to get a just-over-minimum-wage job that requires (basically) no skills is about as miraculous as the occasion of my birth."

As the story progresses, though, we see what the story is behind his apparent lack of ambition and while I would have loved for there to be a resolution in that area as well, I was cool with it since the glimpse was enough to let us know that hiding behind jokes and wisecracks and inappropriate female-objectifying thoughts is actually a pretty cool guy.

And Arthur, the love of our narrator's life, is a great yin to Howie's yang. He's more mature and stable in his sexuality for one. He doesn't spaz out or tend towards hysterics. He's sweet and understanding and just this solid guy that balances Howie and his jumpy energy.

The supporting characters are also not just labeled "hero's mom", "hero's obligatory fag hag", "hero's too-perfect brother" then given predictable behavior and dialogues based on those labels. I loved that they were actually characters with depth and personalities and such awesome voices that they felt real. Seriously, guys, these characters are all so distinct and brilliant and so well written that you can give me a line from the book and I can identify which character would do or say that.

They were each also essential to Howie's growth and happiness. Because Howie, for all his bravado, is practically a wee wittew boy emotionally and this book is not so much about his romance with the dreamy Arthur as it is his journey towards being an adult male with figurative testicles.

Come to think of it, this was also a bit of a coming of age story of his best friend, Amber. There was a lot of growth in that front and it's a sign of how good this book is that you don't feel that Amber is encroaching in Howie's territory in her side journey towards her own HEA/HFA.

You know what else is a sign of a good book? The fact that there were no genitals shoved into any orifice on-page and I didn't mind. Not one bit. This was fade-to-black sex, people, and I still embraced it in all its non-explicit sexual content-y glory. You're welcome, book.

I also loved the lit references (Aunt Petunia, bitches!), the quick Monty Python nod (orgasm alert!), the most believable drunk narrative I've read in a while, and the fact that Howie's mom wrote an erotica sequel of an Austen novel and called it Mansfield Spark: The Hot Nights of Mr. and Mrs. Bertram.

[Eli Easton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I *adored* this book so much. It's definitely going to be in my best reads of the year list. I've been in the mood for a good, solid, straight-up, slow build contemporary--no shifters or magic in sight--and this was exactly what I needed. There are so many things I loved about it.

First, the first person POV narrative voice was so witty and funny. It reminds me of a kinder, gentler "Tell Me It's Real". It took me a chapter or two to get into it, but then I just floated all the way through, often laughing outloud. I highlighted favorite passages like a wild person.

Second, I love gfy-coming of age stories and this one was ideal. The main MC, Howie, is 22 but he's been living at home helping out his mom after his father's death and he is still a virgin. He thinks he likes girls--until he meets Arthur. At first there's a lot of antagonism between the two, but Hannah places lots of hints that Howie's feelings are mixed, to say the least.

There's a slow-burn romance, which I love, and some lovely UST. Howie and Arthur are very cute together and crazy (obnoxious, funny) Howie helps stiff Arthur come out of his shell.

I loved the setting of the yarn shop and all the secondary characters were fully-fleshed and lovable. Kristy was hilarious! And I loved the Mitch/Amber subplot. Lots of sweet, adorable feels and snarkiness. It doesn't get any better than that!

If there was one thing I would have liked more of, it was the sexy times. Other than a few kisses, all of it was off-page. Which, you know, it doesn't need to be endlessly explicit, but when it's an MC's first time, and first time with a guy, I at least would like to be present for it, even if it's described in a high-level way, because it is rather transformative. But compared to the joy this book gave me, that's a minor nit.

I hope Hannah Johnson writes more. I'll be first in line to buy it. Some of my favorite quotes:


My mind turns back on gradually, clunkily, the way lights go on in a warehouse, row after row, click-buzzz - click-buzzzz - click-buzzzz.

Every piece of me -- every nerve, every hair, every damn cell -- sings out one matching song in perfect harmony, and that song is FUUUUUUUCK.

...all of a sudden it's like, here he is, in the flesh, he's still a flesh-type creature that exists, and it's flesh that's been in contact with my flesh, I wish I would stop thinking the word 'flesh,' you know what's a gross, creepy, weird word? 'Flesh.' I think my brain is melting. I think I've having a stroke. Or a coronary. Or porphyria. I KNEW HE WOULD GIVE ME PORPHYRIA.

"Um," Arthur says. He's looking at me dead-on, like he's forcing himself to do it. God, I wish he would knock it off. I also wish he'd lose his eyelashes in a freak eyelash fire incident. And his lips, too, because all of a sudden I'm looking at them, what is that?"

I miss Lindsay, and we have, like negative chemistry. Innocent bystanders cringed when they saw us within five feet of each other.

"Come in," Arthur says brusquely in response to my knock -- the softest, reluctantest, unknockiest knock in the history of that long, complicated relationship betwixt doors and knuckles.


Well, I could quote this book all day. If you like humor and romance at all you should read this book. I wish I could send it a zillion readers.

[Emma Sea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Smart, funny, adorables. I found it exhausting at times: I want to give Adderall to everyone in it except Emily and Arthur.

The weird thing for me was that Emily's behaviour was seen as so socially transgressive. I identified with Emily a great deal, and I fear I have been offending people IRL unknowingly :(

3.5 rounded up.

[Jyanx · Rating 5 out of 5]

To make what could have been a very long review of gushing, and quoting, and more gushing short: I loved this book. I loved the way the characters talk, their sense of humor, and the way they interact with each other. I love that the way a character first appears does not define that person for the rest of the book. I love them for their mistakes, terrible jokes, their faults and flaws, and the fact that no matter how badly they screw up they kept trying. I love the fact that Howie's mother is so funny, and clever, and not some sort of sexless mother ideal. I like that the female characters as well as the male are fully realized people. I like that the secondary characters are just as interesting as the primary ones. I like the development of the plot. It felt natural, and unforced, and that even though many of the problems of the plot were only in the character's minds it didn't make them any less real, or valid. The writing style is engaging, and fun. It made me laugh, and it made me invested in the characters and their world.

In summation I just flat out loved it.

[Ami · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.85 stars rounded up

I have to be honest, when I first saw the number of words (110.000+ words), I was a bit scared. I had been lullabied with shorter stories since I jumped into the world of m/m romance few years ago, and nowadays, lengthy books worried me. Worried that I might get bored easily. Well, I didn't get bored with this one...

ALTHOUGH, the story probably could do with little trimming (I still thought it was a bit too long), I found Howie's voice to be quite enjoyable to spend few hours with. He might come as annoying at first, with his idea to get the job at Artie Kraft's Arts 'N Crafts hoping to get laid. But he grew on me, after awhile. Especially after that first surprising kiss. Because it was quite wonderful coming of age story.

I loved all the characters here -- they were all so distinct from one another. From Howie's ramblingness (this book has one of the best collections of one-liners, EVER!), to Artie's calmness, to Kristy's bubbliness, to Cora's eccentricness, to Amber's sarcasticness, etc. I loved Howie's development from someone in denial into accepting that yes, he did like guys. I loved his 'two' worlds -- the best friends, Amber and Mitch, and the people from work.

It was also a story without big drama, which was nice. Sometimes I'm bored with over-the-top angst. For a story to work with me on personal level, it doesn't have to work out sadness from all corners of the wind. The story managed to make me all teary eyed when Howie finally told him mother. It was beautiful.

There were few other things that I didn't like much... aside from the length, I didn't adore the dream sequence (weird for such contemporary story). I wish that Amber's story (with Mitch, I hope) was wrapped up nicely.

But overall, I highly enjoyed this.

My favorite line:
I don't think it's worth to deny yourself happiness just so you can stay faithful to the person you think you've become"

Such a wonderful advice ...

[Camy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Freaking hilarious and still substantial. I loved this book! Even got a little "melty" over it when it ended....totally awwwwww/worth it/moving.

ETA: this book remains in my top 5 m/m. It is beyond stellar :-)

[Kaje Harper · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a lovely book, funny and sweet with tug-at-your heart moments. The characters are quirky, almost to the point of caricature, but they don't quite fall off the edge, and you end up rooting for them. Although the MCs are in their early twenties, this is very much a YA-style book. Sex is off page, and this is a first-person account of self-discovery and coming out. That's not to say the story is immature, or shallow, but that these are very young men (especially the narrator) making the mistakes and discoveries and self-conscious blunders that are part of growing up.

Howie is a great narrator - self-centered and yet with underlying compassion, uncertain and willfully-blind, but full of heart. His bumbles and the straightforward voice with which he narrates them are at once funny and a little painful. Artie is perhaps a bit too good to be true, but he's the perfect foil for Howie. The secondary characters are very well done.

If you like that type of story, (and can handle a touch of almost-OTT situational humor), this is the book to read. I loved it, and will definitely reread it. Highly recommended.

[Mandapanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars. Charming story about Howie a 22 year old who puts his studies on hold to stay home and keep his mum company after the death of his father. He gets a dead-end job at an Arts & Crafts store and the people there slowly but surely change his life for the better.

This story is told in the first person POV of Howie. I loved his voice. He's kind of cool in an obnoxious way. He's very confused about girls. And he's full of funny one-liners and slang that are totally in keeping with his character. His attraction to straight-laced boss Artie is delicious and very romantic. I want to write their names, 'Howie 4 Artie' and draw a big heart around it!

It's the kind of story that makes you laugh out loud one minute and tugs on your heartstrings the next. But the sad bits are just as wonderful as the happy bits. And such a strong supporting cast! Everyone goes through some personal growth and no-one is quite what you expect them to be. Especially Kirsty and Emily! There is no sex in the book but there is plenty of warmth and romance to make up for it.

This book ends with really heart-warming Christmas and New Year scenes and I would highly recommend it for anyone looking for a funny, romantic and poignant novel to read over the holiday season. I got it from Amazon for only $5.99. Great bargain!

[Mandy*reads obsessively* · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this story!
Howie's voice takes a bit of getting use to, but once I was quickly immersed in the story!
I don't quite know how to categorize this story, it's partly a coming of age ( Howie is 22) but has sort of been 'stuck', it's also a story of friendship and of course of coming out/ self realization.
I had a few laugh out loud moments and was smiling a lot while reading this, although I can imagine there will be people who might get annoyed by Howie's sense of humor.
This is also a very chaste story no on page sex.
No horrible mothers or homophobic fathers or bashing or big misunderstandings , so all in all a winner.
But, and this is a big but, it is a very expensive ebook, I would read another book from this author, but not for $9.99

[Sheziss · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one is SO funny!



And I absolutely loved it!!!



The humor is absurd, sarcastic, intelligent, black, ridiculous, good, bad, whatever!

I couldn't stop laughing!



But really, the story is great!



Howie has crazy ideas.



He decides to get a job to have a girlfriend. Because, really, it is as simple as that.



But he doesn't feel attracted to any of the girls working in the store.



So, his world will be upside down in a very mad way.



And he will have to face the truth.



And to be able to be proud.



So he can be happy, and people surrounding him can be happy too.



But in the way he can be REALLY stupid.



Sometimes you want him to suffer!



Not much angst here, but laughs are always welcome.

[Kelly (Maybedog) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Five plus stars!

Thank you Plainbrownwrapper,Tiya Rosa,and Julesmarie, for being the reason I read this right away. This book is amazing and anyone who loves M/M humorous romances needs to read this. It's funny, smart, sweet, romantic, everything wonderful. The characters are interesting and fun. The story is completely believable and one of the sweetest romances I have ever read.

For the first fourth of the book, I laughed out loud at least once per page it was that funny. I laughed a good deal later but the story became a little more poignant. It was a feel-good novel through and through and near the end I wasn't sure if the relationship would last but it didn't matter because it was still a happy ending. What I mean is that the romance isn't the only part that is important or gets worked through. Howie coming to terms with his sexuality is equally important.

Yes, Howie is somewhat of a jerk a couple of times but it's completely understandable given the short length of time in which this book takes place. Coming out is hard and he does it really fast considering. And while Arthur is mostly wonderful, he isn't a saint, either. In fact, at one point he is incredibly blunt, I would have left if he had been talking to me. Howie stayed and it was good but Arthur was not at all sensitive during that scene.

There's no sex but that's good because it wouldn't fit. I think this would be a great story for any questioning teen to read even though this is very much a book for adults.

The book is long, longer than it needs to be but I didn't mind because it was so entertaining. The end dragged a tad but it as mostly because I was waiting for something (that didn't actually happen). But it was a great ending. One of the things I liked best: mild the two groups of friends got to know each other but they stayed separate groups, which is realistic.

I loved the literary references and the jokes about ignorance. I loved the complexity of Mitch and even his roommate. The author has excellent taste in music (I love all the bands Howie does--go Femmes!). I particularly loved his observations about grammar.

In short (well, medium), I loved this book to death.

Read it.

[anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

rep: gay mc & li, bi side character

yeah, howie starts out as such an ugly sexist pig thanks to only being on the verge of Figuring Out The Gay Stuff but he grows up so well!! and his shitty behavior gets called out!

and that means we get a really soft romance, a great mother-son relationship, amazing friendships (old and new ones) & an actually Good humour

[Jen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Know Not Why... this book's average rating is 4.3 stars. I only gave it a 2 because I did actually sort of like the other caricatures characters in the book. The only reason I didn't DNF it was because it was a buddy read.

I could spend a lot of time and energy going over why I hated this book, but it's not worth it.

Bottom line? Howie is an immature, selfish asshole to his classmates, his love interest, his best friend, his brother's girlfriend... the list goes on. Sure, he sort of gets over it by the end. But for the first, oh, 95% of the book, I mostly just wanted to run him over with an 80s Volvo.

If the author had spent less time being "fucking ironic" (yes, an actual quote that presumably was thrown in to explain the more-annoying-than-Jack Black-esque narration, and Howie's incredibly trite sense of humor), and more time on actual character development, I might have understood why Arthur fell for Howie. Maybe.

....Okay, maybe not.

[DayDreamer · Rating 5 out of 5]

More like 4.5 stars, but either way I am impressed.

My biggest problem was how accepting everyone was once Howie manned up and told them he was gay and seeing someone. I know we live in a modern society, but even nowadays there's more struggle to accept the different. But hey, maybe they live in an alternate universe in which there are no homophobes - which would be nice, but then Howie's reluctance to tell them makes much less sense.

Not so important for me, just noticeable.

On the other side, I haven't read ya in a while and this one (it's ya, right, I'm not mistaken?) is so, so good.

To be reread.

[Cole Riann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review posted at The Armchair Reader.

4.5 stars

Like yesterday's review of The Other Guy by Cary Attwell, this is another self-published book that I've been encouraged to read by friends and really awesome reviews on Goodreads. It is very different from that book, of course, and not without it's own problems, but the awesomeness of the book and the characters outweighed my frustration with some of the writing issues, leaving me really excited and hopeful that this author will continue writing.

Howie (never Howard) is stuck in his hometown. He and his twin have forged different paths, leaving him perpetually feeling like the loser twin. His brother is going to school to be a doctor, but he's stuck at home after leaving school to help his mother after their father died. They've become quite close, but Howie is stuck feeling like a kid that never grew up. He doesn't go to school, he doesn't have a job, and his mom still pretty much takes care of him. But, in talking with his best friend, Howie comes up with what he thinks is a great plan -- he'll get a job at an Arts and Crafts store to meet women. His reasoning is that girls love a sensitive guy, and knowing about all that knitting and crafts crap is sensitive, right? His best friend, who is in love with his twin, is much more pragmatic. Obviously, she tells him, they'll just think you're gay.

But Howie is determined and lands a job at Artie's Arts 'N Crafts, run by Arthur himself. He immediately sets his eyes on the bubbly and cute Kristy, but finds himself creating a strange love/hate relationship with Arthur, his gay boss. Arthur is everything that Howie isn't. He's stuck up, a complete do-gooder, and a nerd to the core. But Howie soon finds that even if his love life is more complicated than he expected, having a job is helping him anyway, and the people whom he originally hated to work with become a new sort of family.

This is really a coming of age story. Even though Howie is in his early twenties (22? I can't remember for sure), his growth was stunted by his move back home. Being in a rut is a rather simple way to put it, but the jealousy and hatred in having to watch his brother move onwards and upwards in life makes an already uneasy relationship downright difficult. I finished this book feeling like I knew the secondary characters almost as well as Howie, and though the book is long, the writing is somewhat dense, with quite a bit happening in an economy of space. In a way, reading this feels a bit like reading a long serial -- we get to know the characters so well because there is so much time and wealth of words to get to know them, not only in important scenes but in Howie's day to day life and interactions. I didn't have a problem with this because I never felt like any of the writing was superfluous, and it creates a really fleshed out world with complex connections between the characters.

I'm making a broad generalization here, which obviously isn't true for every book and author, but this book epitomizes my reasons for liking to read online original fiction and self published books. Sometimes, when I read something like this, I feel like it's set apart from the m/m community, where the characters (or archetypes) and their actions tend to grow homogenized and feed off one another. We often say or hear things like, we want more realism or more realistic characters, which in all actuality we don't literally want. Maybe it is the absence of editors, or some other difference I'm not sure of, but this book actually felt more real to life. The rough edges aren't buffed out, and while that may be somewhat annoying in the prose, it is pure gold to me in the content when done by an intelligent and talented author. Sure, this author could have been reigned in at times -- the dialogue tends to spiral out of control at points, Howie can be rather infuriating sometimes with long periods of annoying behavior, and a few other things I've forgotten by now -- but in the big picture, they mattered less to me than the central core of the story, which was beautifully written and executed.

I very much hope that this author continues to write and publish, in whatever manner, because I'll remain a reader for life, and I know that I'll continue to read and re-read this book. So I definitely want all of you to read it as well.

[Cassandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

*Update 8/8/16* I boosted the rating to a full five. It's been months and I still quote and babble about this book. I'm also itching to reread it... :)

"He gives me a slight smile. I simultaneously want to, like, build shrines to it and punch it off his face. It’s complicated."

You know when you're fully convinced you did something that you never actually did? I could have sworn I had posted this review, but sure enough, it was just sitting there drafted on my laptop. Also, I couldn't pick just one quote from this book since the whole thing is so freaking quotable.

"You know, I don’t think it’s worth it to deny yourself happiness just so you can stay faithful to the person you think you’ve become."

This book was the perfect fluffy little romance I have been waiting for. A guy trying to work at an arts and crafts store to pick up chicks and things not going as planned? Um, yes please! Also, thanks to Arch for the recommendation. :)

This book was stomach aching funny. Howie's one liners, or even dialogue in general was of a legendary sass level. His jabs at Arthur were the best. There were times when I read an opening line and had to stop and just smirk. I mean, seriously, I'm laughing as I write this just from the memories of Howie and the crew's interactions.

In case you had any doubt, the cast of this book was incredibly diverse and entertaining. The author manages to juggle a dozen characters or so with complexity and diversity. Unlike lots of authors, not all of the character's in this book had similar voices or followed stereotypes. These characters broke the stereotypes and were each their own man. I loved it.

Alright, time to deal with the cutest and most endearing part of this book. The relationship between Howie and Arthur. It wasn't insta-love (more like immediate hatred) and definitely slow build. Which was refreshing for a new adult novel. I loved the many layers given to both Howie and Arthur. Just when you thought you had them pegged, they'd do something surprising and wild. Even Arthur, our resident grandfather in a twenty six year old's body. (I'm not sure about the ago, but around there.)

If you're looking for a laugh out loud, adorable, and romantic new adult novel about a group of odd balls, look no further. You've found one. :)

[Izengabe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Incluyo a Howie y Artie entre mis OTPs adorados porque son eso, adorables, monísimos y supercuquis (con perdón).
Me encantó Artie... awwww, a Howie dan ganas de darle una patada en el culo de tanto en tanto, pero se hace querer.
Para las de mente sucia como yo, aviso que de sexo na de na, pero ni falta que le hace <3 <3 <3

[Anke · Rating 4 out of 5]

4-4.5*

I just finished reading this book and now try to get my thoughts in some orderly written form. First, although the formatting and editing of the book is very good and it's rather long with 100.000+ words, I still think that $9,99 is too expensive for an unknown, self-published author. 2-4$ less would have been a fair price. Especially when thinking of similar quality books sold for 2,99$. Nevertheless the blurb and the cover got me to buying this book.

Now, the story: The first few pages were very nice, got me into the story and I was looking forward to reading on. At about 6% the development was so over the top that I was thoroughly annoyed. On top of that Howie was getting on my nerves with his inner dialogue. I was really thinking of putting this book on my DNF shelf, but having paid this outrageous price, I refused to give up just yet and have to say - I'm glad. At some point the annoying things were toned down and I really started enjoying reading about Howie in denial.

I very much liked the development of Howie, his growth, coming to terms with his being gay and finally accepting his life and even loving it. His relationships with his coworkers, friends and family changed and grew at a believable pace.

Overall I have to say, it was a very good read, even if during the last third of the book I always was waiting for some drama to happen, but nope; it's just one nice story flowing along without any angst, drama or big misunderstanding. Thankfully it's also a story without the 'evil' woman.

So, coming to the end: I will definitely read another book by this author, but only if it's available for a reasonable price.

ETA: What a price slump - obviously you can get it now for 2.99$ from amazon.

[Leanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh, I loved this story!
Howie is an adorable underdog. At 22, the aimless twin of a perfect brother, he has sacrificed dreams of travel and escape from his little town to stay with his mom. He’s outwardly brash and funny as hell but inside he’s mostly sad and insecure. His finding a job at the craft store does so much more than lead him to love. It allows him to start believing in himself, to learn to open up and to trust others. Yes, he does accept the fact that he’s gay with surprisingly few qualms, but the fact that he’s more worried about disappointing others shows the sweetness and sensitivity of this manboy.
There is no sex in the book and, while I would have loved a bit more heat, there is enough warmth of the fuzzy variety to make up for it. (I really didn't miss it. Much.) However, a good balance of snarkiness and poignancy keeps it from being too overly sweet. With a charming cast of supporting characters and great pop culture and literary references peppered throughout ,( in fact, it kind of comes with its own soundtrack) I can totally see this as a John Hughes-type movie. Just what has happened to those fantastic coming-of-age movies anyway? As a teen of the eighties I’m just showing my age here, I guess. ;-P
Sweet, charming, funny and beautifully written – I’ll snap up anything Hannah Johnson writes next.

ETA- Lots of reviewers have commented on the high price. It's now $5.99 at Smashwords. Give it a try. :)

[Audrey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not feeling very review-y articulate, so here are some pretty random thoughts.

- Brilliant and hilarious narrative, even if I'm not normally a fan of (1) first person and (2) present tense.
- Sweet romance.
- A discovering yourself/coming out m/m story.
- Kind of "new adult." (22 y.o. narrator.)
- Great, great, GREAT secondary characters.
- So bummed it was closed door sexytimes. Dammit. I was totally ready to perv on this couple.
- Fun, escapist feel to the storytelling.
- I'm pretty fact-based, so it really bugged me that I didn't know a few facts such as (1) where the heck the story is set and (2) what Howie (the narrator) looks like.
- This one's set around November/December-ish, so it almost felt like a holiday read. Very apropos for this time of year.

Overall, a lovely read, and I thank Tiya for the recommendation and Camille for the Kindle loan. :)

[Sheri · Rating 3 out of 5]

Witty & fun. Tremendously immature. Howie makeover.

Howie is an obnoxious young man trying to grow up. Admirably he gives up his college plans to stay home with his recently widowed mother, and finds himself stuck in a rut. He is pretty much a lazy pig, and realizes the ugly truth about himself along the journey of the story. He takes a job at the local craft store in hopes of scoring a relationship or at a minimum scratching an itch. He is not disappointed, but confused with the desires and ‘who’ he finds himself hoping to be more than friends with.

Arthur owns the craft store, and is in the painful process of ending a long-term relationship. He is attracted to his newest employee, and finds the unexpected and unpredictable suddenly very desirable. He is everything Howie is not, and wants to test the waters if opposites truly do attract.

It was extremely juvenile, and I found myself annoyed with Howie throughout most of the book. What Arthur finds desirable about him is truly a mystery to me. However, I did snicker, giggle and chuckle out loud more than once.
For instance,
“as far as the whole rest of the world knows? I’m straight! And, you know, as far as I know, I’m straight too. I’m just having a slight man-digging episode.”

See, silly fun.
It wasn’t quite YA, and yet it was. Not that I mind YA, but I just wasn’t expecting it. They were in their early 20’s but came across like a bunch of young teens. It just didn’t fit together for me.

Overall, it was good for a laugh but, I certainly never had any connection with any of the characters.

*3 amusingly-adolescent stars*

[Jenn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Probably more like a 3.5 but it cracked me up, so I'm rounding it to a 4.

This really felt like a novel in the big book idea way. Howie is a character that is so layered and witty and real that I couldn't help but fall in love with him. Seriously, the one-liners in this book are priceless.

I ADORED Kristie and even Cora made me laugh. I wasn't really fond of Amber, but she wasn't distracting enough to detract from the rest of the book.

The slow build between Howie and Arthur was a nice change from the insta-love that floods this genre, but I will say the 'romance' was lacking in this for me greatly. Arthur and Howie really felt more like buddies than boyfriends and I can't honestly say I understand why EITHER of them like each other in a romantic way. Truthfully, Arthur is dull as hell.

But all the stars go to Howie and his adventures.

[Hannah]

Rather than leaving the sentence "It's possible I wrote this one. :)" in my review section here for all of time, I've decided to instead bust out a blog post that I wrote upon the date of its release. It was suggested to me that I might use the blog post as a foreword for the book itself; I didn't do that, obviously, but I figure sharing it on goodreads is much more scholarly and prestigious. :)

The full post can be found here.


"So here is how it came about in the first place!

My dear, dear, awesome friend Justine and I were out at Burger King, like, years ago, having a silly conversation, as we are wont to do. It somehow circled around to the fact that one of her male coworkers had once worked in an arts 'n crafts store, and we were trying to speculate why exactly a guy would want to work there. (This premise is, of course, inherently problematic in terms of being pretty sexist, which you will get to hear more about later. Of course guys can work in arts 'n crafts stores. But what can I say? Our humor is edgy, man. Or possibly just unevolved.) We reached the conclusion that, no doubt, his motive must have been to score with the ladyfolk ... but that, in an unfortunate twist, everyone would no doubt just figure he was gay. And, as I do approximately once a day, I believe I went, "Oh my god, that would make the best romcom, THAT NEEDS TO BE A MOVIE BASED ON A BOOK THAT I WILL WRITE."

Soon after that, I busted out the first chapter as a joke-gift for Justine. I printed it out and she spilled her coffee on it -- that cherished first chapter is still hanging out somewhere, coffee-stained and beloved! By me, if no one else. She and my other glorious roomie Renata read it and laughed a lot, as did my wonderful group of online writing pals. And I was totally enjoying the somewhat rare and entirely giddy experience of hanging out in a character voice that had just appeared, fully formed and ridiculous and completely distinct and NOT TO BE SILENCED, and so I very merrily kept writing.

On, like, the day after I started writing this story, Justine and Renata and I went to see Milk. I still very distinctly remember walking out of the theatre into the frigid, too-early, wintery dark, and just feeling despairing and hopeful and discouraged and shaken to my bones. And this story could never quite be just light and funny, after that.

Know Not Why is, admittedly, many many pages of my protagonist's torment over the idea of being openly gay; in the years of grappling with this manuscript after the first draft's completion, I very often felt guilty about that. Around the time that the A Single Man film was being made, I came across a quote from ... I'm pretty sure it was the director, Tom Ford (but my memory is failing me a bit!), about how Christopher Isherwood's work is distinguished by the fact that, though it's about gay characters, their lives don't revolve around being gay and that struggle. I felt awful about contributing yet another woeful 'Alas! Gayness!' tale to a genre that deserves as much diversity as any other kind of love story. I still don't know quite how to feel about this. But I love this story, and I felt my way through this story every step of the way (like, occasionally there was probably weeping?), and I hope that shines through.

I've also come to realize, upon acquiring a bit of distance and perspective after spending so long in this thing, that it is a lamentably accurate reflection of the world we live in. Things have improved by leaps and bounds and Neil Patrick Harrises, but our culture's inherent tendency to equate male homosexuality with femininity and femininity with The Lowest You Can Get If You're A Man is so ingrained that you don't even think to see it most of the time. I watched a wonderful, soul-wrenching documentary called For The Bible Tells Me So a few months ago, and in it, one of the commentators pointed out that male homosexuality is so reviled because it apparently involves casting one of the men in the relationship in the role of a woman -- and there is nothing worse for a man, culture tells us, than to be like a woman. "You throw like a girl." "Sissy." "Pussy." A certain word that starts with C that I won't bust out because this is a wholesome PG-13 rated blog. (Although the fact that that is like the most offensive on our list of swearwords is fundamentally sort of gross and stupid -- oh heavens, not lady parts!!!! I think we all just need to listen to some Medieval Baebes.)

Now, I don't even need to go into how this is sucky on, like, all the levels, because it goes without saying; my point is, it is this, I think, that has Howie so paralyzed. He's sort of comfortably miserable as a slacker and wants to be a totally unexceptional human being, someone whose #1 skill is slipping under the radar and being ignored and unremarkable (except for maybe in terms of having mad quipping skillz). If he agrees to openly acknowledge this part of his life, living in the world that we live in now, he will no longer be perceived as "totally ordinary," and there are always going to be people who hate him on principle. And that is why he's so stuck. And that is why, in his head, there is no greater solution to his whole existence than getting a girl. What's more manly than wanting to tap them ladies, right?

With all that being said, this wasn't written to be a manifesto about the screwed up notions of gender and sexuality in our culture -- although clearly I could prattle on about that forever. In addition to all the soul-searching and anguish and introspection, this book is basically a love story, a love-your-life-and-all-the-great-humans-in-it story. Sure, there's fellas having crushy feelings at each other (and oh my heart how I love their love!), but it's also about loving your family, loving your friends -- the ones who have known you forever and the ones you meet when you're older, and all the joys and the pitfalls.

It is also (I hope) zany and silly and ridiculous, because zany silly ridiculous humor is kinda my favorite.

Having grown up quite the internet nerd, I've always been ensconced in a world where love stories transcend the canonical tales that birthed them. My first experience with this was deciding, at about 13, that Remus Lupin and Sirius Black were clearly in love with each other, which turned a sad and beautiful story into an even sadder and more beautiful one. A conviction that Buffy and Faith kinda wanted to jump each other's bones followed soon after. Fandom culture follows chemistry whither it wanders, with very little regard for heterocentricism (a word that I sort of suspect I just made up; just roll with it!), and there are not words for how much I love and believe in that. Sometimes canon even follows fandom right back -- see, for example, Xena and Gabrielle, a.k.a. the most beautiful freaking love story of all time. (Finally engaged! It's about time, ladies.)

But oh, for a world where gay love stories get to be text instead of subtext! We're heading in that direction slowly but surely; I hope that it will be my generation of storytellers that really makes it mainstream. Stories are such an important reflection of our culture, and the more we see of Brittany and Santana, or Mitchell and Cam, or the thousand-thousand other couples that will follow them (at least a thousand of them near-inevitably provided by me, even if I am only telling audienceless tales to my hard drive), the more bigotry and fear will fade, because you absolutely can't deny that love stories are love stories.

And love stories are lovely, and y'all just know I am going to bombard you with roughly a million of them.

But here's one, just to start."


+


And, a note on the much-mentioned (and with good reason!) price -- I totally agree that $9.99 is a lot to charge for an ebook, and thank you so much to everyone who has purchased it anyway; I cannot articulate how thankful I am! The reason I wound up charging so much was because a) I didn't expect it to catch the interest of this many people who aren't related to me by either blood or my obstinate refusal to stop hanging out with them (ah, friendship!), and b) I spent years with it. This was the first novel I finished; it's my baby, my beloved, many assorted pieces of my soul, etc., etc., and it really holds a special place in my heart. I promise that when I publish more online -- and I am definitely going to be returning to these characters soon (thank you all for the inspiration boost!) -- the price will be much more reasonable.

Reader(s), I totally adore you. Thank you again!

[Madison Parker · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this story. Howie has such a great sense of humor. The other people in his life may look at him and just see your average young guy, but being inside his head, we get to experience all of his wonderfully wacky thoughts.

Although the characters in this book are all at least 22 years old, it had a "young adult" feel to it. I guess Howie was a late bloomer.

I do wish we'd gotten more "alone time" with Howie and Arthur, but I respect the author's choice not to include their intimate moments. The story felt like it was more about Howie and his self-discovery than the romance between him and Arthur. There's romance there, but it's not the focus of the book.

Overall, an entertaining read with a lovable MC.