What do you think?
Rate this book
I Hate Everyone... Starting with Me
“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”
—Elizabeth Barrett Browning, 1850
“How do I hate thee? How much time do you have?”
—Joan Rivers, 2012
Joan Rivers is a groundbreaking, award-winning, internationally renowned entertainment goddess. She’s also opinionated—especially when it comes to people she hates. Like people who think giving birth is a unique achievement. Or well-adjusted, a.k.a. boring, ex-child stars who don’t even have a decent addiction.
With all of her diverse experiences, it stands to reason that Joan has seen, done, said, and heard a lot of hateful things. Thank god, she took notes.
Here—uncensored and totally uninhibited—she gives the best of her worst to First Ladies, closet cases, hypocrites, Hollywood, feminists, and overrated historical figures. And even when letting herself have it, Joan doesn’t hold back in this honest, unabashedly hilarious love letter to the hater in all of us.
—Elizabeth Barrett Browning, 1850
“How do I hate thee? How much time do you have?”
—Joan Rivers, 2012
Joan Rivers is a groundbreaking, award-winning, internationally renowned entertainment goddess. She’s also opinionated—especially when it comes to people she hates. Like people who think giving birth is a unique achievement. Or well-adjusted, a.k.a. boring, ex-child stars who don’t even have a decent addiction.
With all of her diverse experiences, it stands to reason that Joan has seen, done, said, and heard a lot of hateful things. Thank god, she took notes.
Here—uncensored and totally uninhibited—she gives the best of her worst to First Ladies, closet cases, hypocrites, Hollywood, feminists, and overrated historical figures. And even when letting herself have it, Joan doesn’t hold back in this honest, unabashedly hilarious love letter to the hater in all of us.
242 pages, Hardcover
First published June 5, 2012
243 people are currently reading
2561 people want to read
About the author
Joan Rivers
39 books127 followersJoan Rivers (born Joan Sandra Molinsky) was an American comedian, actress, talk show host, businesswoman, and celebrity. She was known for her brash manner and loud, raspy voice with a heavy metropolitan New York accent. Rivers was the National Chairwoman of the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation and is a board member of God's Love We Deliver. Like the ground-breaking Phyllis Diller, Rivers' act relied heavily on poking fun at herself. A typical Rivers joke about her unattractiveness: "I used to stand by the side of the road with a sign: 'Last girl before freeway.'"
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 546 reviews
March 27, 2021
Joan Rivers' achievements in fashion far outweighed her career as a comedian. Before her, the red carpet question was 'What are you wearing' if it was even asked and the outfit just described. Stars dressed themselves at the time or the studio did. Then Joan asked, 'WHO are you wearing?' and that started a new career of stylists.
Stars had always worn fashion house dresses and often paid for them. After Joan, they sent so many to the stars, banking on the massive publicity for their brands from the red carpet coverage, someone was needed to sort through them and accessorise them and then return them after use.
This industry started by Joan is vast, multi-billion. The stylists are not only paid well (and paid off by the fashion houses as well), the publicists have something to write about, the studios love the publicity and the tabloids can forget about proper journalism and just print PR releases. Major fashion distributors adapt the clothes for ordinary people meaning that a season later a lot of sheep will be baa-ing around the place in really awful clothes like the high-low hem and side-boob and the kind of shoes that are terribly uncomfortable and terribly expensive but have red soles! This makes the sheep feel on-trend, edgy, smug and that they are really cool people who have it going on. Really.
This is all living the American dream. This is uber-capitalism. Joan invented a new industry based on that simple phrase, "who are you wearing?" and one with built-in obsolescence needing continual expenditure to keep up. What a genius! No wonder she lived in an $18M apartment, she deserved it. Is it any wonder she won Celebrity Apprentice?
Joan as a comedian? Again a genius. I'm not talking about her stand-up comedy here, I never saw her do a show and her humour although it has some of the edginess of Lenny Bruce, her inspiration, is too American for me to really identify with. I'm talking about Fashion Police. Having built-up this industry of what stars wear, she then developed a show to knock them all down to size again. Such genius!
The person who says they don't have a bit of schadenfreude about them is telling big porkies. It was fun seeing her segments, "starlet or tramp" with the pics with the heads out of shot. It was fun seeing someone who was ultra-styled and looked ridiculous rubbished by the 'judges'. It was fun seeing the stars who had gone too far with the botox and fillers and mammary additions that in shape and size resembled half-canteloupes being exposed as figures of fun rather than exemplers of cool beauty.
Without Joan, Kim Kardashian and her fat arse would have been a flash-in-the-pan sleaze bag story. Her phenomenally boring family would have remained the major shoppers they are. Kelly Osbourne would be an unattractive and untalented daughter of a rock star still desperately trying to monetize her connections. Joan's daughter Melissa would have done what? She only ever hung off her mother's coat-tails anyway. These and many other talentless people benefited from the exposure (and jobs) Joan gave them.
So for Joan, for the author of the book 5*. For the book itself, the audio, to hear Joan, 5*, for content, well let's not go there, this review is dedicated to the late great businesswoman, Joan Rivers. Patron saint of old ladies who will not grow old, and people who do not take themselves too seriously at all. Love her.
Rewritten 27th March 2021
Stars had always worn fashion house dresses and often paid for them. After Joan, they sent so many to the stars, banking on the massive publicity for their brands from the red carpet coverage, someone was needed to sort through them and accessorise them and then return them after use.
This industry started by Joan is vast, multi-billion. The stylists are not only paid well (and paid off by the fashion houses as well), the publicists have something to write about, the studios love the publicity and the tabloids can forget about proper journalism and just print PR releases. Major fashion distributors adapt the clothes for ordinary people meaning that a season later a lot of sheep will be baa-ing around the place in really awful clothes like the high-low hem and side-boob and the kind of shoes that are terribly uncomfortable and terribly expensive but have red soles! This makes the sheep feel on-trend, edgy, smug and that they are really cool people who have it going on. Really.
This is all living the American dream. This is uber-capitalism. Joan invented a new industry based on that simple phrase, "who are you wearing?" and one with built-in obsolescence needing continual expenditure to keep up. What a genius! No wonder she lived in an $18M apartment, she deserved it. Is it any wonder she won Celebrity Apprentice?
Joan as a comedian? Again a genius. I'm not talking about her stand-up comedy here, I never saw her do a show and her humour although it has some of the edginess of Lenny Bruce, her inspiration, is too American for me to really identify with. I'm talking about Fashion Police. Having built-up this industry of what stars wear, she then developed a show to knock them all down to size again. Such genius!
The person who says they don't have a bit of schadenfreude about them is telling big porkies. It was fun seeing her segments, "starlet or tramp" with the pics with the heads out of shot. It was fun seeing someone who was ultra-styled and looked ridiculous rubbished by the 'judges'. It was fun seeing the stars who had gone too far with the botox and fillers and mammary additions that in shape and size resembled half-canteloupes being exposed as figures of fun rather than exemplers of cool beauty.
Without Joan, Kim Kardashian and her fat arse would have been a flash-in-the-pan sleaze bag story. Her phenomenally boring family would have remained the major shoppers they are. Kelly Osbourne would be an unattractive and untalented daughter of a rock star still desperately trying to monetize her connections. Joan's daughter Melissa would have done what? She only ever hung off her mother's coat-tails anyway. These and many other talentless people benefited from the exposure (and jobs) Joan gave them.
So for Joan, for the author of the book 5*. For the book itself, the audio, to hear Joan, 5*, for content, well let's not go there, this review is dedicated to the late great businesswoman, Joan Rivers. Patron saint of old ladies who will not grow old, and people who do not take themselves too seriously at all. Love her.
Rewritten 27th March 2021
December 5, 2017
When people tell you to go easy on the hate--and your instinct is to keep the HATE on high--but you know it's pissing people off--well, thanks to Joan I feel like I, a self-proclaimed HATERRR... well, belong! Finally, the long-awaited BIBLE for HATERS. Reading this, one of the funniest books of all time, is like reading the transcript of one of Miss River's brilliant stand up shows--minus, of course, the "it's just..." after every punch line. This lady is FUCKING intelligent, y'all. Her experience in the glamorous show biz life just fuels her hatred--this is the kind of stuff I naturally gravitate towards unconditionally! I compare it to falling down a rabbit hole & getting tickled until your nose bleeds! Every sentence or two contains a joke, & it is this type of pitch that keeps the giggles going constantly until the inevitable inward chortle is produced.
Read this my friends, & live a very happy-hater life!
PS: R.I.P. Diva!
Read this my friends, & live a very happy-hater life!
PS: R.I.P. Diva!
June 20, 2019
Review to follow at some point:
I love love love love her!
I love love love love her!
March 29, 2016
What can I say.
An over-inflated ego, combined with a sense of self importance and a dire need for survival, are the coloring pencils of this book.
"I hate narcissists. They never talk about me."Yet, the outrageous impolite, often rude comments on everything and everybody, all hid a lonely, loving, well-educated person who had an agent and bank account for every word she ever uttered.
"It all goes back to my childhood. I was not a pretty girl. You know how some people comment on a person’s appearance by saying things like, “She looks like her father”? Well, I actually looked like my father: mustache, man boobs, big thighs, hunched shoulders, sideburns.… All I needed was an enlarged prostate and you wouldn’t have been able to tell us apart. Right from the get-go, my parents didn’t like me. When I was born, my mother asked, “Will she live?” The doctor said, “Only if you take your foot off her throat.” I was the only baby in the maternity ward who had to take a bus home. My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller. For school lunch they’d make me peanut butter and strychnine sandwiches. Instead of a library card I had to carry a DNR warning. In seventh grade, I had a bad hair day and my mother went to court to fight for my right to die. My parents used to give me advice like “Take candy from strangers” and “Ask the guy in the raincoat if he owns a van.”Joan Rivers is obviously not everyone's cup of tea, but she looked at life with a tremendous eye for detail and anti-mainstream. She translated everything into money. For instance, she did not like exercise. The only exercise anybody would get out of her was to throw diamonds on the floor. That would force her to bend her legs.
"Love may be a many-splendored thing, but hate makes the world go round. If you think I’m kidding, just watch the six o’clock news. The first twenty-nine minutes are all about dictators and murderers and terrorists and maniacs and, worst of all, real housewives. And then, at the very end of the show, there’s a thirty second human-interest story about some schmuck who married his cat. I rest my case."She was right about one thing, the most important motto anyone could ever consider, and that is to laugh when it is not expected. It is the only way to get out of heartbreak, tragedy and bad hair days. It was her key to immense fortunes and fortitude. It was her mantra for survival. If you don't have an opinionated in-your-face friend like her, find one. They make a huge difference in our battle for survival.
So, if you need a u-turn in attitude and destiny, try a dollop of Joan. It will change your life forever.
October 8, 2012
“I Hate Everyone Starting With Me, is a “hoot-n-holler,” rollicking-good-read, from the irrepressible Joan Rivers. I had tired of Ms Rivers of late, tired of her constant plastic surgeries and catty, caustic banter. But this book proves why she became famous in the first place. She is side-splittingly hilarious, witty, profane, and obviously a very intelligent woman.
If you are down in the dumps, read this book, you will laugh so much you will forget why you were upset.
This is also a most quotable book and your friends and family will enjoy her wit, even second hand from you!
Joan Rivers may hate everyone starting with herself, but I love her again and so will you if you read this book.
Enjoy!
If you are down in the dumps, read this book, you will laugh so much you will forget why you were upset.
This is also a most quotable book and your friends and family will enjoy her wit, even second hand from you!
Joan Rivers may hate everyone starting with herself, but I love her again and so will you if you read this book.
Enjoy!
August 19, 2017
FABULOUSLY FUNNY!!!
Bought this book in hardcover when it first came out. Love this book so much...that I keep my copy in my vehicle. In the event I forgot to bring a book or I have a long wait somewhere for whatever reason, my daughter or I will pick up this book and read aloud to each other and laugh 'til we have tears in our eyes. We don't even use a bookmark!! Just pick it up and open it to any random page and begin. I do, however suggest you read the book through once, before using our unorthodox method.
PLEASE - Only read the reviews of this book that have 5 star ratings and that truly give it the justice it deserves. I have no idea why I forgot to include this outrageously funny favorite before now.
Oh Joan, my queen of comedy....I miss you!! ♥
Bought this book in hardcover when it first came out. Love this book so much...that I keep my copy in my vehicle. In the event I forgot to bring a book or I have a long wait somewhere for whatever reason, my daughter or I will pick up this book and read aloud to each other and laugh 'til we have tears in our eyes. We don't even use a bookmark!! Just pick it up and open it to any random page and begin. I do, however suggest you read the book through once, before using our unorthodox method.
PLEASE - Only read the reviews of this book that have 5 star ratings and that truly give it the justice it deserves. I have no idea why I forgot to include this outrageously funny favorite before now.
Oh Joan, my queen of comedy....I miss you!! ♥
March 7, 2024
Note to those that hated this book because they were offended, or it was too mean...
Either you don't know Joan Rivers or you didn't read the title of the book. If you were expecting a memoir, you must not have read the beginning of the book either where Joan explicitly states this is not a memoir, it is a comedy book and reads like a long stand-up routine. Ignore that Goodreads tag of autobiography-memoir, it's NOT!
Much like any other comedian, Joan has a persona and part of that comedic persona is vulgarity. Nothing is off limits and it is often about the shocking one-liner, if this is not your brand of humor do not read this book. It's as simple as that.
If you are more interested in the 'real' Joan Rivers I suggest watching her documentary, A Piece of Work, it's amazing.
People who are saying that this book is hateful and bitter must be thick because that is the whole point, it's in the fricken title. Just because YOU'RE offended that doesn't mean the joke isn't funny or that this book is bad.
....
Okay, that brings me to the end of my rant.
This book is enjoyable if you like Joan's brand of humor which is all about the one-liner. I'll admit it does get to be a little long if you read this book from start to finish, there's a reason comedy specials never exceed 90 mins. Plus, I'm a fan, somewhere between follower and avid, and as a result have heard a number of these jokes or ones that are similar. Additionally, I think that some of the magic of Joan's delivery is visual or somewhat conversational in tone and you don't get the full effect by just reading or listening, there's just something extra her presence adds.
I also wish there had been more celebrity brutality, I just love when Joan rips into Madonna or Gwyneth Paltrow, it felt toned down in this book.
Still this book was very Joan, crude, and brash, and fun. She covers just about every group from mothers to Scientologists and every race, religion, and age group.
Some of the passages about death and what her funeral should be like took on an unintended degree of gravitas and when she said she hoped to beat Jack Benny and Phyllis Diller by working into her 100's I might have teared up. I'm sad she's gone and wish she had gotten a little more respect.
Joan, you will be missed, this Joan Ranger salutes you!
Either you don't know Joan Rivers or you didn't read the title of the book. If you were expecting a memoir, you must not have read the beginning of the book either where Joan explicitly states this is not a memoir, it is a comedy book and reads like a long stand-up routine. Ignore that Goodreads tag of autobiography-memoir, it's NOT!
Much like any other comedian, Joan has a persona and part of that comedic persona is vulgarity. Nothing is off limits and it is often about the shocking one-liner, if this is not your brand of humor do not read this book. It's as simple as that.
If you are more interested in the 'real' Joan Rivers I suggest watching her documentary, A Piece of Work, it's amazing.
People who are saying that this book is hateful and bitter must be thick because that is the whole point, it's in the fricken title. Just because YOU'RE offended that doesn't mean the joke isn't funny or that this book is bad.
....Okay, that brings me to the end of my rant.
This book is enjoyable if you like Joan's brand of humor which is all about the one-liner. I'll admit it does get to be a little long if you read this book from start to finish, there's a reason comedy specials never exceed 90 mins. Plus, I'm a fan, somewhere between follower and avid, and as a result have heard a number of these jokes or ones that are similar. Additionally, I think that some of the magic of Joan's delivery is visual or somewhat conversational in tone and you don't get the full effect by just reading or listening, there's just something extra her presence adds.
I also wish there had been more celebrity brutality, I just love when Joan rips into Madonna or Gwyneth Paltrow, it felt toned down in this book.
Still this book was very Joan, crude, and brash, and fun. She covers just about every group from mothers to Scientologists and every race, religion, and age group.
Some of the passages about death and what her funeral should be like took on an unintended degree of gravitas and when she said she hoped to beat Jack Benny and Phyllis Diller by working into her 100's I might have teared up. I'm sad she's gone and wish she had gotten a little more respect.
Joan, you will be missed, this Joan Ranger salutes you!
July 15, 2012
I fucking love this woman. She's at the top of her game in her 70's and come back more successfully from more personal and career bad shit than I can comprehend. And I mean truly at the top of her game; she knows her craft and herself and the business so well that she is untouchable in her particular form of comedy genius. Un-fucking-touchable, y'all. You try it.
Most basically, this book is a collection of one-liners about culture and celebrities and the business which move light and fast and hit hard and move on; it's a joy. I particularly like the spirit of taking on what I think of as a comic challenge - in this case, taking all fifty states and making up new names for them (Missouri, the Show Me state, becomes, the "I Showed You Mine Too and Now I'm in Jail" State.) I made that example up because I didn't want to take up the time to actually read the real one. Sorry, Joan. You did encourage us with a least a couple of "make up your own Snooki joke here", so I'm just running with it.
So in short read this and laugh and get a blast of fresh air. I finished it two days ago and read it again just today.
All hail Joan!
Most basically, this book is a collection of one-liners about culture and celebrities and the business which move light and fast and hit hard and move on; it's a joy. I particularly like the spirit of taking on what I think of as a comic challenge - in this case, taking all fifty states and making up new names for them (Missouri, the Show Me state, becomes, the "I Showed You Mine Too and Now I'm in Jail" State.) I made that example up because I didn't want to take up the time to actually read the real one. Sorry, Joan. You did encourage us with a least a couple of "make up your own Snooki joke here", so I'm just running with it.
So in short read this and laugh and get a blast of fresh air. I finished it two days ago and read it again just today.
All hail Joan!
July 2, 2012
Let me start by saying I have never hated Joan Rivers. In fact, at one time, I loved, loved, loved her. Early in my career, back in her can-we-talk days, I interviewed her for a feature story and I still keep that yellow-edged article in my portfolio because I enjoyed our conversation so much.
But in recent years, I haven't loved her as much as I used to. I saw her live a few years ago and felt like she lost her edge, relying too much on the F-word to get her jokes across. I guess when you get to be her age -- as it should be -- you don't give a fuck what people think or say.
Well, Joan, you've won me over again with your latest book, "I Hate Everyone...Starting with Me" (Penguin Group). Within 10 pages, she had me in tears from laughing so hard. I think it was her definition of a tween: "which is just a teen who hasn't given a blow job yet." Actually, even before the book begins, the dedication page lets readers know they're in for a very un-PC diatribe because she dedicates it to two killers, including O.J. Simpson, because "maybe the lippy ex-wife had it coming."
Too soon? IT'S A JOKE, PEOPLE! And if you don't like that one, you probably won't enjoy ones about 9/11, the Holocaust or abortion, either.
That is the thing I've always loved about Joan: the courage to say inappropriate, funny things that will make people gasp both from horror and from laughing so hard. I believe the phrase "Oh no she di-ent" was first uttered at a Joan Rivers show. I said of her those many years ago after our interview that there were no sacred cows in Joan's pasture. And that statement remains as true today. She'll take potshots at anyone -- ugly babies, dumb children, lip-smacking old people, rude airline passengers, gay wives and lesbian grooms, and especially other celebrities -- skewer them and serve them up with a delicious punchline.
Actually, one of the best chapters is one about food and restaurants. Here's a juicy morsel: "I hate it when the waiter comes to the table and asks, 'Would you like to see a menu?' What's the correct response to that question: 'No. Let me guess what you have in the refrigerator.' Or 'No. I'm not worthy. I'll just eat the crumbs off of the lap of the old lady at table seven.'"
She writes with the same rapid-fire delivery that she uses on stage so that when you're reading the book, it's her voice that you hear in your head saying things like, "I hate 'dry' weddings where they don't serve alcohol. If I want dry, I'll spend time in the Mojave Desert or take pictures of my vagina"; or "I've undergone more reconstruction than Baghdad." As the title indicates, Joan continues to do what she has always done best: make fun of herself.
To be frank (can we talk?) not all of the jokes work and some of the comedienne's references are so dated they show her age. I'm not sure one-liners about Sylvia Plath, Mickey Rooney or baby Jessica falling in a well in 1987 work that well today. But she makes up for it with plenty of current zingers about Jerry Sandusky that are spot on. But Joan knows her audience better than I do; and in the end, it's a testament to her own longevity in show business that she can reference everyone from Clara Bow and Senor Wences to Kim Kardashian and Beyonce in her jokes, or stretch a comparison between Shirley Temple and kidnapping victim Jaycee Dugard.
And it wouldn't be a Joan Rivers book without at least a few Liz Taylor fat jokes. When they come from Joan, those are always funny, even if Ol' Violet Eyes is dead.
And Bea Arthur being a man. Again, always funny. Even if the Ol' Dickless Baritone is dead, too.
Not that she's ever gone away, but in my book Joan is back with a vengeance and a very funny new book. The world would be a happier place if there were more hatemongers like her.
But in recent years, I haven't loved her as much as I used to. I saw her live a few years ago and felt like she lost her edge, relying too much on the F-word to get her jokes across. I guess when you get to be her age -- as it should be -- you don't give a fuck what people think or say.
Well, Joan, you've won me over again with your latest book, "I Hate Everyone...Starting with Me" (Penguin Group). Within 10 pages, she had me in tears from laughing so hard. I think it was her definition of a tween: "which is just a teen who hasn't given a blow job yet." Actually, even before the book begins, the dedication page lets readers know they're in for a very un-PC diatribe because she dedicates it to two killers, including O.J. Simpson, because "maybe the lippy ex-wife had it coming."
Too soon? IT'S A JOKE, PEOPLE! And if you don't like that one, you probably won't enjoy ones about 9/11, the Holocaust or abortion, either.
That is the thing I've always loved about Joan: the courage to say inappropriate, funny things that will make people gasp both from horror and from laughing so hard. I believe the phrase "Oh no she di-ent" was first uttered at a Joan Rivers show. I said of her those many years ago after our interview that there were no sacred cows in Joan's pasture. And that statement remains as true today. She'll take potshots at anyone -- ugly babies, dumb children, lip-smacking old people, rude airline passengers, gay wives and lesbian grooms, and especially other celebrities -- skewer them and serve them up with a delicious punchline.
Actually, one of the best chapters is one about food and restaurants. Here's a juicy morsel: "I hate it when the waiter comes to the table and asks, 'Would you like to see a menu?' What's the correct response to that question: 'No. Let me guess what you have in the refrigerator.' Or 'No. I'm not worthy. I'll just eat the crumbs off of the lap of the old lady at table seven.'"
She writes with the same rapid-fire delivery that she uses on stage so that when you're reading the book, it's her voice that you hear in your head saying things like, "I hate 'dry' weddings where they don't serve alcohol. If I want dry, I'll spend time in the Mojave Desert or take pictures of my vagina"; or "I've undergone more reconstruction than Baghdad." As the title indicates, Joan continues to do what she has always done best: make fun of herself.
To be frank (can we talk?) not all of the jokes work and some of the comedienne's references are so dated they show her age. I'm not sure one-liners about Sylvia Plath, Mickey Rooney or baby Jessica falling in a well in 1987 work that well today. But she makes up for it with plenty of current zingers about Jerry Sandusky that are spot on. But Joan knows her audience better than I do; and in the end, it's a testament to her own longevity in show business that she can reference everyone from Clara Bow and Senor Wences to Kim Kardashian and Beyonce in her jokes, or stretch a comparison between Shirley Temple and kidnapping victim Jaycee Dugard.
And it wouldn't be a Joan Rivers book without at least a few Liz Taylor fat jokes. When they come from Joan, those are always funny, even if Ol' Violet Eyes is dead.
And Bea Arthur being a man. Again, always funny. Even if the Ol' Dickless Baritone is dead, too.
Not that she's ever gone away, but in my book Joan is back with a vengeance and a very funny new book. The world would be a happier place if there were more hatemongers like her.
January 16, 2025
“I hate narcissists…they never talk about me.”
June 4, 2017
Oh Joan, you comedy goddess you...why have you not been inducted into sainthood as the Patron Saint of Crones who Don't Give Two Shits or of simply being a fabulous woman? This here is a feminist icon, ladies and gents...and even after she has left Earth her soul still resides here, making us laugh and being a fashion queen (seriously, her outfits are to KILL FOR).
This book made me miss the woman. R.I.P, Joan.
This book made me miss the woman. R.I.P, Joan.
March 3, 2018
This book was a complete riot! Joan Rivers was one of the funniest, and nastiest, women in the world, this book proves it. Absolutely no one is safe under the judgemental eye of Ms Rivers, she really does hate everyone and everything, especially all the minorities, she hates them the most.
As Joan herself would’ve said, if you can’t take a joke, f**k off. This book is hysterical but only for people that aren’t snowflakes that get offended by everything, a good sense of humour is a must.
As Joan herself would’ve said, if you can’t take a joke, f**k off. This book is hysterical but only for people that aren’t snowflakes that get offended by everything, a good sense of humour is a must.
October 16, 2018
I love Joan Rivers and her sense of humour but this book was below average at best. She was not on her best with her barbs and remarks in this one. Normally I laugh out loud during her jokes in her interviews but nearly 90% of this book left me unamused. I do admire the fact that she leaves no topic when it comes to making bitchy remarks but the quality was seriously lacking in this one. And that's a shame because she was a firecracker with her punchlines.
June 17, 2012
Joan Rivers is one crazy old bitch ... and she makes me laugh!
January 2, 2013
This good needs to have a warning label with it; A LOT of people will get offended by this book. If you wanted to read this book, you need to be open minded, and ready to laugh a lot. This book is very entertaining, and you see why Joan Rivers is very successful in her career. If you don't take what she writes seriously, this will be one of the funniest books you will read. You will laugh at the reasons why she hates everything and everyone; it's a long list, by the way. I read this book within a couple of days. I like the structure of the book, diving the chapters into reasons why she hates children, people, cities, etc. I noticed a few spelling errors, the unintentional ones I should say (read States of the Union and you'll see what I'm talking about). I recommend this book to anyone who wants a quick, funny read, and doesn't take the offensiveness seriously. Great book!
April 11, 2015
Some funny one liners and you have to admire her energy, but a lot of styrofoam peanuts and misfired jokes. Maybe one of her earlier books is stronger.
July 14, 2012
If you're a Joan-Ranger, you'll really enjoy the chapters in this book, where she decimates the topics and people who drive her cray-cray (she would hate that phrase.)
I laughed out loud a lot reading this book. She's just as sharp as she was 30 years ago, with even bigger pop-culture treasures to target and tease. I highly recommend this book as a summer read or if you just want something between a novel and a magazine. Thought I think it's the perfect length, I'm looking forward to the publication of the paperback which is supposed to include even more material.
Here's one of my favorite jokes, from page 203, regarding her hatred of wilderness families on television and in particular, Bonanza:
"Oddly enough, Lorne Greene and Michael Landon were Jewish. Jewish cowboys? 'Watch it, folks. That murderous sidewinder Tex Blickstein is comin' to town tonight with his six-shooter and his tax attorney and he's gonna want to see everybody's federal return from the past five years!'..."
If you like that, you'll like it all. (Also, I'm from Texas and a Jew, so you know, immediately biased on this one.)
I laughed out loud a lot reading this book. She's just as sharp as she was 30 years ago, with even bigger pop-culture treasures to target and tease. I highly recommend this book as a summer read or if you just want something between a novel and a magazine. Thought I think it's the perfect length, I'm looking forward to the publication of the paperback which is supposed to include even more material.
Here's one of my favorite jokes, from page 203, regarding her hatred of wilderness families on television and in particular, Bonanza:
"Oddly enough, Lorne Greene and Michael Landon were Jewish. Jewish cowboys? 'Watch it, folks. That murderous sidewinder Tex Blickstein is comin' to town tonight with his six-shooter and his tax attorney and he's gonna want to see everybody's federal return from the past five years!'..."
If you like that, you'll like it all. (Also, I'm from Texas and a Jew, so you know, immediately biased on this one.)
May 16, 2014
Very funny. Had me laughing through the whole book. This lady is just so good when she can poke fun at her own self. I must say that many of the things she "hates" about are things I hate too. Recommended to anyone who is willing to laugh at themselves and aren't sensitive of heart.
December 25, 2024
A dictionary for haters
May 31, 2023
A relic from the time comedians were unapologetically funny
January 18, 2013
Joan Rivers attacks everything and everybody in her sometimes hilarious but almost always vulgar and vitriolic misanthropic observations about who and what annoys her.
I wasn’t always offended by her attacks – after all, she doesn’t leave anyone out, not even herself. And she makes a point of frequently interjecting remarks so outrageous it is clear she is only joking. Still.
At times, she tackled subjects that just would have best been left alone. I’m not one to find humor in making fun of, for instance, handicapped people.
Also, I do admit to wishing she hadn’t employed foul language so freely. (Although she quite rightly goes after hypocritical people like me who say “f-ing” but get all freaked out over people using the full “F word.”) But I did feel squirmily offended by her frequent gratuitous use of words that are not only crass and deprecatory but, in addition, sexist when referring to females: does she really have to call Anne Frank “that bitch” or call other women the “c-word”?
It’s very interesting to me that so much of what is considered funny today involves sex and/or vulgarity. Certainly for years and years comedians made people laugh through witticisms like clever puns, or lampoons, or even insults, without resorting to raunchiness. Joan Rivers seems to think that her flagrant use of obscenity is funny in and of itself. And sometimes, it is in fact an essential part of the joke. Take this example by Rodney Dangerfeld, who gave his impression of a New York echo as:
But for the most part, I don’t find profanity inherently amusing. Maybe it is so to many people, but I sort of prefer more content to my social satire.
I wasn’t always offended by her attacks – after all, she doesn’t leave anyone out, not even herself. And she makes a point of frequently interjecting remarks so outrageous it is clear she is only joking. Still.
At times, she tackled subjects that just would have best been left alone. I’m not one to find humor in making fun of, for instance, handicapped people.
Also, I do admit to wishing she hadn’t employed foul language so freely. (Although she quite rightly goes after hypocritical people like me who say “f-ing” but get all freaked out over people using the full “F word.”) But I did feel squirmily offended by her frequent gratuitous use of words that are not only crass and deprecatory but, in addition, sexist when referring to females: does she really have to call Anne Frank “that bitch” or call other women the “c-word”?
It’s very interesting to me that so much of what is considered funny today involves sex and/or vulgarity. Certainly for years and years comedians made people laugh through witticisms like clever puns, or lampoons, or even insults, without resorting to raunchiness. Joan Rivers seems to think that her flagrant use of obscenity is funny in and of itself. And sometimes, it is in fact an essential part of the joke. Take this example by Rodney Dangerfeld, who gave his impression of a New York echo as:
Helloooo!
Shut the fuck up!"
But for the most part, I don’t find profanity inherently amusing. Maybe it is so to many people, but I sort of prefer more content to my social satire.
October 14, 2014
I did a buddy-read of this book, in honor of the recent passing of Joan Rivers. I have to admit that I really knew nothing about her comedy, other than little snippets I have seen on TV. I've never seen any of her shows, or even seen any shows she was and what made her famous.
I have to admit I think this book would have been better in audio. The person I read this with listened to the audiobook, which was read by Joan herself. I think her delivery style could have made the "humor" in this book more humorous. For me though, reading it, a lot of it seemed over the top, hurtful, and deliberately mean. Yes, I could identify with some of the basic humorous things, but some of the more hurtful things also hit too close to home, which tended to negate any of the other amusement.
In the end though, I think she delivered what her audiences wanted. They must have liked to hear her skewer people, and she did seem to skewer almost everyone, herself included.
Rest in peace, Joan Rivers. Sad that you died the way you did, but if you were able to come back to talk about your death, I'm positive you would make many jokes about it.
I have to admit I think this book would have been better in audio. The person I read this with listened to the audiobook, which was read by Joan herself. I think her delivery style could have made the "humor" in this book more humorous. For me though, reading it, a lot of it seemed over the top, hurtful, and deliberately mean. Yes, I could identify with some of the basic humorous things, but some of the more hurtful things also hit too close to home, which tended to negate any of the other amusement.
In the end though, I think she delivered what her audiences wanted. They must have liked to hear her skewer people, and she did seem to skewer almost everyone, herself included.
Rest in peace, Joan Rivers. Sad that you died the way you did, but if you were able to come back to talk about your death, I'm positive you would make many jokes about it.
July 3, 2012
I have been a fan of Joan Rivers for a long time, so I was looking forward to reading "I Hate Everyone....Starting With Me". I'm well aware that many people find her to be overly abrasive and "mean", and I have spoken up on her behalf many times because I almost always find her to be very funny. However, this book was a letdown. There were a few funny lines, but many that I have heard before and not enough to make it worthwhile. It surprised me that someone with a reputation for being such a hard worker would release a book that seemed to be casually thrown together - as though she went through her catalog of jokes and just inserted them into chapters with minimal effort.
I will continue to enjoy Joan Rivers on television and in person, and will probably be interested in future books of hers - but I can't recommend this one at all. I found it to be very disappointing and nowhere near as good as the kind of book she's capable of writing.
I will continue to enjoy Joan Rivers on television and in person, and will probably be interested in future books of hers - but I can't recommend this one at all. I found it to be very disappointing and nowhere near as good as the kind of book she's capable of writing.
June 16, 2012
Yes, it's just a collection of jokes. Setup, punchline, setup, punchline. But they are funny jokes, and I bwah-ha-haed many times. So I don't care much if the jokes were originals, recycled, purchased from jokewriters, or taken from bubble-gum wrappers. I like Joan Rivers even when she's awful. Especially when she's awful.
The only weak portion of the book was the reworked state slogans. Bah. And only one for Oklahoma? C'mon Joan, we're easy to mock. The reddest state in the Union. Home of Jim Inhofe and Tom Coburn. Where we're afraid of creeping Sharia Law but not global warming. Too easy, I guess.
The only weak portion of the book was the reworked state slogans. Bah. And only one for Oklahoma? C'mon Joan, we're easy to mock. The reddest state in the Union. Home of Jim Inhofe and Tom Coburn. Where we're afraid of creeping Sharia Law but not global warming. Too easy, I guess.
October 2, 2012
I enjoy Joan Rivers. I think she's smart and funny. And while this book has some hilarious turns of phrase and made me laugh, its one note started getting a little thin. I get that that's the whole point of the book. She's grumpy and complaining. But the "I hate, I hate" started depressing me. Still, I love Joan Rivers.
July 10, 2015
I love Joan, but this book is mostly filler and clearly a late-in-life cash grab. I laughed a handful of times and finished out of respect for her memory, but I can't in good conscience recommend it. She was so intelligent, but this book, for all its fun intentions, insults the intelligence of her fans.
January 24, 2015
As far as I'm concerned, people who call fuck the "f-word" are a-holes.
February 22, 2015
I laughed out loud more often and longer than with any other book I've read.
February 11, 2016
So funny..... laugh out loud hilarious!
July 20, 2020
I never really liked the brash style of comedy that Joan Rivers performed, but I wanted something light and humorous to read for relief from the current global madness, and I stumbled across this while browsing the local library’s ebook collection. It’s basically 249 pages of politically incorrect one-liners, the perfect antidote to today’s neverending media culture wars. Some of the jokes are not that good because Ms Rivers frequently aims for shock value rather than the funny bone – you wonder how her publisher was allowed to put that in print – but she gets away with it all because she doesn’t present herself as better than anyone else. As the title suggests, her first target is herself. Then playing the role of the ageing curmudgeon, she proceeds to poke relentless fun at American society as much as she can. It’s not clever enough to be satire and I wouldn’t even call it wit, but on occasion she elaborates with a little insight that makes her joke more biting. She was so well loved in America during her lifetime, I got the impression at the time of her death that people would think they were successful if Joan Rivers made a wisecrack about them, and they felt that her outrageous social commentary was more affectionate than nasty. This book was published in 2012, in the middle of the Obama presidency, and I was a little disappointed there wasn’t more commentary on the politics and celebrities of the time. However, I enjoyed it more than I expected, and even laughed out loud in a few places, which is quite an achievement for a dead comedienne. I may even try some of her other books.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 546 reviews