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A Zombie's History of the United States: From the Massacre at Plymouth Rock to the CIA's Secret War on the Undead
“Americans have been taught that their nation is civilized and humane. But, too often, U.S. actions have been uncivilized and inhumane.”
—Howard Zinn
Shedding light on 500 years of suppression, this shocking exposé reveals the pivotal role in American history played by its most invisible minority—zombies.
From colonization and revolution to World Wars and global hegemony, A Zombie’s History of the United States tells the powerful and moving stories of this country’s living-dead underclass, including:
•The zombie massacre of European colonists at Plymouth Rock
•The gruesome killing of a zombinated Meriwether Lewis by his fellow explorer William Clark
•The doomed defense of the Alamo against hordes of the attacking undead
•The heroic, platoon-saving charge into a hail of German fire by an undead Lt. Audie Murphy
•The top-secret NASA missions that launched(and often lost) zombies into space
•The anti-terrorist program to stop the weaponization of the zombie virus
—Howard Zinn
Shedding light on 500 years of suppression, this shocking exposé reveals the pivotal role in American history played by its most invisible minority—zombies.
From colonization and revolution to World Wars and global hegemony, A Zombie’s History of the United States tells the powerful and moving stories of this country’s living-dead underclass, including:
•The zombie massacre of European colonists at Plymouth Rock
•The gruesome killing of a zombinated Meriwether Lewis by his fellow explorer William Clark
•The doomed defense of the Alamo against hordes of the attacking undead
•The heroic, platoon-saving charge into a hail of German fire by an undead Lt. Audie Murphy
•The top-secret NASA missions that launched(and often lost) zombies into space
•The anti-terrorist program to stop the weaponization of the zombie virus
240 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 1, 2010
32 people are currently reading
120 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
May 18, 2011
Meh. I read the first 50 pages and wondered what I was still doing holding the book. Let me explain...
This book reads like an high school history book, punching out facts with little flow or desire to intrigue the reader. I was half-hoping that a story would develop but, alas, no such luck. It stumbles through historical landmarks in time giving very little detail and glossing over the whole point of why I bought the book - the zombies.
Each section gives a brief synopsis of the events that took place during a moment in history and then says something to the effect of, "and there were zombies there too". One part explains that the Boston Massacre wasn't necessarily a vicious attack on civilians by British troops but rather those troops firing into a mob of people trying to exterminate a few zombies that were peppered throughout.
I don't recommend this book because, although a parody, it serves no entertainment value whatsoever.
This book reads like an high school history book, punching out facts with little flow or desire to intrigue the reader. I was half-hoping that a story would develop but, alas, no such luck. It stumbles through historical landmarks in time giving very little detail and glossing over the whole point of why I bought the book - the zombies.
Each section gives a brief synopsis of the events that took place during a moment in history and then says something to the effect of, "and there were zombies there too". One part explains that the Boston Massacre wasn't necessarily a vicious attack on civilians by British troops but rather those troops firing into a mob of people trying to exterminate a few zombies that were peppered throughout.
I don't recommend this book because, although a parody, it serves no entertainment value whatsoever.
May 29, 2011
See my review on my book blog: http://quirkyreader.livejournal.com/2...
August 21, 2023
Okay. First a brief anecdote. I was tired of fiction, so I was searching the library for a good history book. As I peruse the non-fiction sorted by release date, Lo and Behold...what do I see listed?
"A Zombie's History of the United States".
Yes...this book is classified as non-fiction. I start reading, thinking this is not really about Zombies. Perhaps its about slavery, or Native Americans. No...its about zombies. That's right...the walking undead that want to eat your brains.
The author (whose name is Worm...which I wonder might be his real name...and would explain much), takes basic American history and weaves the fact that zombies exist in the new world. The Native Americans are familiar with them and have learned to avoid them, but the colonizing Europeans must learn the hard way.
He takes every import historic milestone and adds zombies. He explains that 4 of the 5 people killed at the Boston Massacre were actually zombies (they thought the 5th one was too...but...oops).
Meriwether Lewis (of Lewis and Clark fame) becomes a zombie...explaining his suicide later. In some portions he places zombies side-by-side with real events. For example, large portions of the slavery in the South is actually zombies (you can get one to pull a plow...if you tempt him with some juicy human like a carrot-on-a-stick). Teddy Roosevelt wants to create National Parks to allow zombies a place to roam freely...like buffalo.
Now, don't get me wrong, this whole thing is a joke. And its extremely well done, with a full bibliography at the end of both real and imaginary books. I kept wondering if he was trying to cleverly represent something real with the zombies. But, in the end, I think he was writing a history of the United States in a parallel universe where zombies actually exist.
I think its hilarious that the library was fooled into classifying this as non-fiction. Quite an achievement. One would think the term "Zombie" in the title would have given them a hint.
All in all, I liked it. It was clever, understated, and frankly interesting. His take on this crazy "what-if" is quite compelling. Likewise, his true facts are sometimes surprising. I learned a few things about actual American history I did not know. So, its sort of a non-fiction book I guess...
"A Zombie's History of the United States".
Yes...this book is classified as non-fiction. I start reading, thinking this is not really about Zombies. Perhaps its about slavery, or Native Americans. No...its about zombies. That's right...the walking undead that want to eat your brains.
The author (whose name is Worm...which I wonder might be his real name...and would explain much), takes basic American history and weaves the fact that zombies exist in the new world. The Native Americans are familiar with them and have learned to avoid them, but the colonizing Europeans must learn the hard way.
He takes every import historic milestone and adds zombies. He explains that 4 of the 5 people killed at the Boston Massacre were actually zombies (they thought the 5th one was too...but...oops).
Meriwether Lewis (of Lewis and Clark fame) becomes a zombie...explaining his suicide later. In some portions he places zombies side-by-side with real events. For example, large portions of the slavery in the South is actually zombies (you can get one to pull a plow...if you tempt him with some juicy human like a carrot-on-a-stick). Teddy Roosevelt wants to create National Parks to allow zombies a place to roam freely...like buffalo.
Now, don't get me wrong, this whole thing is a joke. And its extremely well done, with a full bibliography at the end of both real and imaginary books. I kept wondering if he was trying to cleverly represent something real with the zombies. But, in the end, I think he was writing a history of the United States in a parallel universe where zombies actually exist.
I think its hilarious that the library was fooled into classifying this as non-fiction. Quite an achievement. One would think the term "Zombie" in the title would have given them a hint.
All in all, I liked it. It was clever, understated, and frankly interesting. His take on this crazy "what-if" is quite compelling. Likewise, his true facts are sometimes surprising. I learned a few things about actual American history I did not know. So, its sort of a non-fiction book I guess...
May 20, 2011
A clever premise... started strong, then degenerated into incoherence, like the editor bailed out after the second chapter. Tremendous potential, tragically unfulfilled. Someone with a greater grasp of US History would have executed this better. Someone with a greater grasp of US History AND a love of zombies.... hmmm......
December 16, 2015
Miller's idea is intriguing. His realization left me somewhat disappointed.
The idea that the United States had a long-standing and difficult relationship with a zombie population, and that understanding this relationship was actually critical to understanding American history is mildly amusing.
The book is funny in spots and tedious in its self-conscious attempts to be funny in others.
The idea that the United States had a long-standing and difficult relationship with a zombie population, and that understanding this relationship was actually critical to understanding American history is mildly amusing.
The book is funny in spots and tedious in its self-conscious attempts to be funny in others.
March 19, 2013
Tongue in check little history of life with zombies added to your history. A little ridiculous at times like being locked in a room with a lot of conspiracy theorists and trying not to seem impolite by laughing at their tinfoil hats.
May 21, 2011
Very dry parody. Played extremely straight. I thought it was OK, but was a bit uncomfortable with some of the choices of people/scenarios chosen for substituting in Zombies.
December 30, 2018
This was interesting and a cool idea, but...meh. I enjoyed the way it was written and the basic thought behind it, but I feel like it was missing something. It was all very surface level, and maybe that was all that was intended. But I wanted more.
August 4, 2017
It was very meh. Take it with a grain of salt and enjoy it as it is. A little book with a few mentions of zombies that's a quick couch flip through read.
November 17, 2020
Not what I expected.
When I first looked at this book, I was hoping that it would be more humorous. But no, it tries to be similar to Zombie Survival Guide books.
When I first looked at this book, I was hoping that it would be more humorous. But no, it tries to be similar to Zombie Survival Guide books.
November 17, 2012
This is an intriguing book - first off I will admit openly I am terrible at history and I know I should know a lot more but I don't.
Ok that is now out and clear this book is basically the retelling of the last few centuries of world history - from the American view point but with key zombie facts and events interwoven in real work world events.
At one point its like reading a wikipedia page - a history text of events - but with zombie lore and facts (based on the classic Romero definition) woven in. Some times rather dry and at others reading like history lessons (the ones I slept through) the book does have some amazing little articles on how zombies could have really been assimilated in to our culture - just many real life characters, races, locations and creeds have been today. So if your a zombie fan this is a fun read - if your looking for something with more pace or challenge then this is not for you. That said for someone terrible at history I enjoyed it.
Ok that is now out and clear this book is basically the retelling of the last few centuries of world history - from the American view point but with key zombie facts and events interwoven in real work world events.
At one point its like reading a wikipedia page - a history text of events - but with zombie lore and facts (based on the classic Romero definition) woven in. Some times rather dry and at others reading like history lessons (the ones I slept through) the book does have some amazing little articles on how zombies could have really been assimilated in to our culture - just many real life characters, races, locations and creeds have been today. So if your a zombie fan this is a fun read - if your looking for something with more pace or challenge then this is not for you. That said for someone terrible at history I enjoyed it.
February 6, 2016
This book isn't terrible. It integrates zombies nicely into the fabric of American history, often with great humorous effect. However, there are some explanations for various things that could be interpreted as racist or belittling (case in point, Jim Crow laws were originally for zombies, and African Americans were grouped in as an after thought). I found this a little offensive, but it's intended as a humor book and not actual history, so there is some leeway.
What I cannot look past is the absolutely abysmal editing. Two times that mathematical statistics don't add up right, and so many language gaffes that my inner English teacher was gasping for her red pen. Seriously, what do these authors pay editors for?! You can't say "both white, black, and hybrid!" Both. Means. Two. ugh!
So is it a fun read? Yes. Is it phenomenal? No. And honestly, folks, proofread before you print!
What I cannot look past is the absolutely abysmal editing. Two times that mathematical statistics don't add up right, and so many language gaffes that my inner English teacher was gasping for her red pen. Seriously, what do these authors pay editors for?! You can't say "both white, black, and hybrid!" Both. Means. Two. ugh!
So is it a fun read? Yes. Is it phenomenal? No. And honestly, folks, proofread before you print!
November 20, 2015
Max Brooks gjorde det sjovt at gå op opdagelse i en troværdig zombieinficeret verden, mens Seth Grame-Smith gav vampyrerne en plads i de historiske annaler. Under synonymet Dr. Worm Miller blander den amerikanske forfatter og instruktør, Joshua Miller, nu zombier med alternativ historieskrivning. Fra Columbus' opdagelse af USA over borgerkrigen i Amerika videre gennem Den kolde krig og frem til i dag kortlægger Miller overbevisende USA's konstante kampe med de levende døde. Et lag dybere findes den oplagte sociale kommentar; et kritisk kig på landets behandling af alt fra indianere over homoseksuelle til påståede kommunister. Et interessant og anderledes forsøg i en ellers fortærsket genre.
June 2, 2013
How to start reviewing this book? I can only safely say that readers will either think this is genius or crap, and there won´t be many finding middle grounds about it.
I cannot think of a better gift for many people I know than this book, but I also cannot think of a worst gift for others I also know. It is a book that certainly is in no gray area; it´s a love it or hate kind of book.
Read full review
I cannot think of a better gift for many people I know than this book, but I also cannot think of a worst gift for others I also know. It is a book that certainly is in no gray area; it´s a love it or hate kind of book.
Read full review
October 22, 2015
In all honesty I have had this book for years. I tried but couldn't finish it. Then I made a major move to the middle of nowhere, where I had no tv, internet or cell service for about 2 weeks. I needed something to do, so I picked this book up and started over. It is entertaining if you like history, and throwing in zombie's was a nice bit. But really this would have been much better had it been done as a novel. I loved the Lewis and Clark bit that would make a great book in my opinion. If you're bored give it a go, otherwise if you are a die hard zombie genre fan it's a waste of time.
June 1, 2011
Good fun, and better than Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, if only because it's not a one-trick pony. The zombies evolve over time (and some experimentation) to human-zombie hybrids, and strange episodes of U.S. history (Lewis & Clark's expedition, the Alamo, but, amusingly, not the Donner party) are elucidated from the zombie angle. Even the reference list stays to theme. Nicely done.
January 26, 2016
Very quick and easy read but full of very true very historically accurate events. This book is a look into the United States of zombies, or zomboids, existed. Loved the chapter on teddy Roosevelt, it makes him more of a tough guy than he already was. Over all good story, good history, and good use of zombies.
March 15, 2023
I actually really like the storyline of Lewis or Clark getting bitten and using mad-science to turn himself into a revenant or lich or what-have-you. The author should have written a story following that plot, instead of "how can I offensively replace the Native American wars with a zombie clean-up operation?"
February 6, 2012
There are better alternative history books than this. There are better zombie books than this. But I do have to give it credit for creativity. Review available at http://moonlit-librarian.blogspot.com...
July 13, 2012
All in all a decent book but high recognition should be made for the great lengths the author went to for research. The breadth and depth of real historical knowledge that was used (and slightly altered of course) is amazing.
June 13, 2014
Well, I give up, 1/4 of the way in. This is terrible. Promising concept, zombies mixed in with major historical events. Except that is what it is, zombies cut and pasted into accounts of historical events. Like reading a poorly written history book, containing vague mentions of zombies.
Read
March 24, 2011DNF Got bored and walked away.
May 14, 2011
Overall, I liked it. I got a little disinterested in the end.
June 18, 2011
While this is occasionally clever, it mostly just takes the broad strokes of American history and substitutes "Zombie" for blacks and natives.
Read
August 22, 2011Started in Malaysia, Finished in the US
January 7, 2012
Those that don't learn from history, are destined to have their brains eaten!
April 1, 2012
The first page contains both "zomboid" and "zombification virus." That's just stupid. Zomboid? Really?
April 10, 2013
My review can be found here: http://sheneverslept.com/newsandrevie...
June 2, 2014
Perfectly forgettable.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews