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[It's Not That I'm Bitter. . .] [By: Barreca, Gina] [June, 2010]
In a world where eye cream is made from placenta, Gina Barreca is the lone voice calling out "But wait, whose placenta is it?" In this collection of deliciously quotable essays, Gina asks the big Why is there no King Charming? Why does no bra ever fit? Why do people say "cougar" like it's a bad thing? Why do we call it a glass ceiling when it's just a thick layer of men? Barreca packs a hilarious punch while gleefully rejecting emotional torture, embracing limitless laughter, and showing women how they can conquer the world with good friends ("It's not that diamonds are a girl's best friend, but a girl's best friends are diamonds") , sharp wit, great shoes, and not a single worry about VPLs.
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First published January 1, 2009
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About the author
Gina Barreca
15 books81 followersDr. Gina Barreca, author of the new book If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse? Questions and Thoughts for Loud, Smart Women in Turbulent Times is also the author of It's Not That I'm Bitter: How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Visible Panty Lines and Conquered the World. Gina has appeared on 20/20, The Today Show, CNN, the BBC, Dr. Phil, NPR and Oprah to discuss gender, power, politics, and humor. Her earlier books include the bestselling They Used to Call Me Snow White But I Drifted: Women's Strategic Use of Humor and Babes in Boyland: A Personal History of Coeducation in the Ivy League in addition to the six other books she's written and the sixteen she's edited. Gina has been called “smart and funny” by People magazine and “Very, very funny. For a woman,” by Dave Barry. She was deemed a “feminist humor maven” by Ms. Magazine and Wally Lamb said “Barreca’s prose, in equal measures, is hilarious and humane.” Gina, whose weekly columns from The Hartford Courant are now distributed internationally by The Tribune Media Company, is a Professor of English at the University of Connecticut, where she’s won the university’s highest award for teaching.
Her B.A. is from Dartmouth College, where she was the first woman to be named Alumni Scholar, her M.A. is from Cambridge University, where she was a Reynold’s Fellow, and her Ph.D. is from the City University of New York, where she lived close to a good delicatessen. A member of the Friars’ Club and the first female graduate of Dartmouth College invited to have her personal papers requested by the Rauner Special Collections Library, Gina can be found in the Library of Congress or in the make-up aisle of Walgreens. She grew up in Brooklyn and Long Island but now lives with her husband in Storrs, CT. Go figure.
Her B.A. is from Dartmouth College, where she was the first woman to be named Alumni Scholar, her M.A. is from Cambridge University, where she was a Reynold’s Fellow, and her Ph.D. is from the City University of New York, where she lived close to a good delicatessen. A member of the Friars’ Club and the first female graduate of Dartmouth College invited to have her personal papers requested by the Rauner Special Collections Library, Gina can be found in the Library of Congress or in the make-up aisle of Walgreens. She grew up in Brooklyn and Long Island but now lives with her husband in Storrs, CT. Go figure.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 68 reviews
January 27, 2012
January 26, 2012 I made a quick second run through this before passing it on to a friend. Barreca goes beyond a breath of fresh air. She's a right bracing breeze.
This was the perfect choice for whiling away a dreary Sunday afternoon. With a title like that I thought it would be all lighthearted silliness, but she also shares some surprisingly profound wisdom about life in general and societal attitudes toward women. I'm always impressed by and a little envious of people who can put into just the right words what we've all observed about ourselves and those around us. Barreca does this with great wit but also with compassion for her fellow women and the pressures they face (beauty, perfection, people-pleasing, not speaking up for oneself).
Much of the humor is subtle, but there were a few times I had to put down the book and gasp with laughter.
A sampling of her wit and wisdom:
On PMS:
"Worrying about retaining water is important only if you are a boat."
On reincarnation:
"I've decided to remake my will---I'm going to leave everything to myself."
On dating:
"If you think you are 'too much' for a guy to handle, weigh carefully the possibility that he's simply 'not enough' for you."
A gentle suggestion for Hillary Clinton:
"Do you think you could stop referring to women in power as 'cracks' in the glass ceiling? It's such an infelicitous metaphor, don't you think?"
On sex:
"I lost my virginity, but I still have the box it came in."
This was the perfect choice for whiling away a dreary Sunday afternoon. With a title like that I thought it would be all lighthearted silliness, but she also shares some surprisingly profound wisdom about life in general and societal attitudes toward women. I'm always impressed by and a little envious of people who can put into just the right words what we've all observed about ourselves and those around us. Barreca does this with great wit but also with compassion for her fellow women and the pressures they face (beauty, perfection, people-pleasing, not speaking up for oneself).
Much of the humor is subtle, but there were a few times I had to put down the book and gasp with laughter.
A sampling of her wit and wisdom:
On PMS:
"Worrying about retaining water is important only if you are a boat."
On reincarnation:
"I've decided to remake my will---I'm going to leave everything to myself."
On dating:
"If you think you are 'too much' for a guy to handle, weigh carefully the possibility that he's simply 'not enough' for you."
A gentle suggestion for Hillary Clinton:
"Do you think you could stop referring to women in power as 'cracks' in the glass ceiling? It's such an infelicitous metaphor, don't you think?"
On sex:
"I lost my virginity, but I still have the box it came in."
October 26, 2011
I'm now reading this book for the second time because I like it so much. It feels like a conversation with my best friend: hilarious, intelligent, and reassuring. I understand the target audience is a little older than I am, but any woman with an honest eye and half a brain would enjoy this read. Furthermore, any man with the desire to better understand women might also want to check it out.
I never realized I was irreverent until I became an adult and suddenly people found my behavior and opinions odd. Gina Barreca reminds me that although I may be odd, I'm neither wrong nor alone. She makes insightful observations about women, men, and everything between the two. I enjoyed the amusing stories throughout, particularly the ones about Tallulah Bankhead and Liz Carpenter. It's Not That I'm Bitter... is "for Fay Weldon" and Barreca includes a quote from her: "Gina, you must write books that people will read." This is not only great advice for writers, but also obvious inspiration: Gina Barreca writes for readers, which means she makes every detail interesting. Most books I read feel like too much investment and not enough payout, but Barreca is an economical writer: little investment, great payout. As for the claim that her writing leaves anything to be desired, I completely disagree and would challenge such criticizers to cite specific examples. If you like your truth with a side of wit and humor, you'll like this.
I never realized I was irreverent until I became an adult and suddenly people found my behavior and opinions odd. Gina Barreca reminds me that although I may be odd, I'm neither wrong nor alone. She makes insightful observations about women, men, and everything between the two. I enjoyed the amusing stories throughout, particularly the ones about Tallulah Bankhead and Liz Carpenter. It's Not That I'm Bitter... is "for Fay Weldon" and Barreca includes a quote from her: "Gina, you must write books that people will read." This is not only great advice for writers, but also obvious inspiration: Gina Barreca writes for readers, which means she makes every detail interesting. Most books I read feel like too much investment and not enough payout, but Barreca is an economical writer: little investment, great payout. As for the claim that her writing leaves anything to be desired, I completely disagree and would challenge such criticizers to cite specific examples. If you like your truth with a side of wit and humor, you'll like this.
June 8, 2009
It's not that I'm a cynic but in making this a mass-market and not solely academic novel, I think Barreca had to self-deprecate and de-fang some of her arguments--so they'd sell. And part of me is indignant both for her and against her because her "girly way of looking at things" is every bit as valid as someone's "womanly" or "manly" or "boyish" way of doing it and she ought to feel no shame in it. Coyness in a book with a chapter posturing against it is rather, well, stereotypically woman isn't it? We don't fight directly, apparently, and Barreca thinks its an issue but not enough of one for her to be radically redefining the means of debate. She's right: feminism's big problem is that we're at a pile-up right now, not moving forward or backwards and just stuck looking around going "now what?" And this book is narrating that dialogue.
--
I like it better now that I'm fully done, and have seen some other people's opinions. It IS humor and that has exaggerations and whatnot, which I find problematic, but at the same time it is funny and readable! And sometimes it's better to get everyone thinking a little than to get a few people thinking a lot.
--
I like it better now that I'm fully done, and have seen some other people's opinions. It IS humor and that has exaggerations and whatnot, which I find problematic, but at the same time it is funny and readable! And sometimes it's better to get everyone thinking a little than to get a few people thinking a lot.
November 20, 2013
I have seen Gina Barreca live twice this year and she is FUNNY! Very entertaining and tells it like it is – growing up in an Italian household, funny women stories of bonding, shopping and body issues and I could relate since as she starts off her session with what every woman wants to know – how old is she and how much does she weighs. Okay she’s just a few years old than me and a little heavier, but she’s also taller! That said I expected the book to be really funny. This collection of short stories on a variety of subject was entertaining, but also infused with women’s theory and more of a psychological aspect which her highlights her educational degrees. It’s a good read and entertaining – like many books with little short stories some are better than others. But overall a good short entertaining read.
June 3, 2009
Gina's new book is smart, funny, provocative, and weirdly acute about the most frustrating, embarrassing, and bizarre parts of being a woman in the world these days. My favorite bits? Chapter 5: "Why do Women Worry about Everything While Men Worry about Nothing." There's a part of that story having to do with environmental temperature and gender difference that made me laugh so hard I had to dig out my inhaler from the back of the medicine cabinet. Seriously. In short: if you ladies have any plans for summer reading, get _It's Not That I'm Bitter_. It doesn't solve the ills of the world, necessarily, but it helps you laugh like hell at them!
January 7, 2013
Reading It’s Not That I’m Bitter … is like watching a stand up comedy routine, without being subjected to the inevitable annoying heckler in the audience. Unless you count my Siamese if I happen to be reading during his treat time.
The great thing about stand up comics is that they are simply stating facts about everyday life. They just happen to point out what nobody else is willing to, or they put a fantastic spin on the facts.
Gina Barreca has this down to a science when it comes to the daily life of the us over forty gals.
To read the full review visit http://silverandgrace.com/book-review...
The great thing about stand up comics is that they are simply stating facts about everyday life. They just happen to point out what nobody else is willing to, or they put a fantastic spin on the facts.
Gina Barreca has this down to a science when it comes to the daily life of the us over forty gals.
To read the full review visit http://silverandgrace.com/book-review...
December 3, 2009
Amy Bloom says it best:
"Some people are funny in an acid-edged cocktail lounge, like Dorothy Parker, in a smoky French cafe, like David Sedaris, or in a crazy English country house, like P.G.Wodehouse. Gina is funny in your kitchen, in the ladies' room of your favorite restaurant, in the awful dressing room with forty-seven ugly bathing suits around you. Gina Barreca is funny, for real."
"Some people are funny in an acid-edged cocktail lounge, like Dorothy Parker, in a smoky French cafe, like David Sedaris, or in a crazy English country house, like P.G.Wodehouse. Gina is funny in your kitchen, in the ladies' room of your favorite restaurant, in the awful dressing room with forty-seven ugly bathing suits around you. Gina Barreca is funny, for real."
February 12, 2013
Funny, funny, funny! This is a must read for any woman over the age of 40. Witty, sarcastic, and everything you've always wanted to say to the world. It's not that I'm bitter is the kind of book women should leave on the coffee table as a conversation starter!
November 17, 2020
Barreca is indeed bitter. Not only that, but reading this book has made me bitter as well.
There's just not a lot going on here. I could tell the author was an academic because she kept interrupting her conversational tone with long, clunky sentences of analysis, but none of them were particularly insightful or new. I'm having trouble remembering any specific essays, and I only finished the book a week ago. The only one that stands out in my mind is the one about a spam email the author received, because I planned to make some joke in my review about how this book is about as entertaining as clearing out your spam folder.
That said, it didn't offend me in any way. I don't think I disagree with the author's opinions. Or maybe I did? I don't remember because, more than outright bad, this book is just plain dull.
There's just not a lot going on here. I could tell the author was an academic because she kept interrupting her conversational tone with long, clunky sentences of analysis, but none of them were particularly insightful or new. I'm having trouble remembering any specific essays, and I only finished the book a week ago. The only one that stands out in my mind is the one about a spam email the author received, because I planned to make some joke in my review about how this book is about as entertaining as clearing out your spam folder.
That said, it didn't offend me in any way. I don't think I disagree with the author's opinions. Or maybe I did? I don't remember because, more than outright bad, this book is just plain dull.
April 24, 2010
Although this book is probably geared more towards women in their 40's and 50's, I (at 28) still found this book hilarious, relevant, and engaging. Barreca has a way with words that not only disarms the reader but then charms the pants of of them. The book is essentially a series of essays on what it's like to be a woman in this day and age, many including our acceptence of bizarre fashion rituals and societal expectations (just wait until you read the essay on the 'rogue hair,' ladies know what I'm talking about). Despite the superficial appearance of the book and Barreca's light, funny way of writing, she brings up issues of agism, sexism, and marital strife with grace and wit. If you are looking for a humorous take on the life and trials of the average American woman, sit down with Barreca and get ready to laugh!
September 19, 2009
I got this one from the New Books shelf at the library thinking it might be funny after flipping through it; at the same time, I was leery of an author whose occupation is shown as "Professor of English and Feminist Theory". Overall, the book is quite humorous, concentrating upon the many ways that women of a certain age ("between work-study and cremation") beat up on themselves, for lack of a better term. I didn't find her perspective so much anti-male, but that she makes generalizations about men with which I disagree.
Highly recommended
Highly recommended
October 29, 2009
I'm spoiled by essays. See, I expect everything to be as funny as Jen Lancaster or David Sedaris, and when they aren't I'm slightly disappointed, and may judge a perfectly good book of essays too harshly. I may have begun to do that with this book, and then made myself enjoy it on its own merits and it was quite entertaining. Lots of stuff about the crazy things that women do and think. Very relatable
January 20, 2014
This book was at turns thought-provoking and outright funny, but always relateable. My favorite parts were those regarding "incidental mothering" (that's part of my job, too!) and Chapter 21: "Will This Shroud Make Me Look Fat?" Anyone who experiences anxiety over decisions she's made, things she's said, or wants reassurance that she's not alone will enjoy this quick read.
November 6, 2014
Gina Barreca offers the unique kind of wit and wisdom that makes me simultaneously nod my head in empathy and laugh out loud. After having the pleasure of seeing her speak in person, I could mentally hear her relaying each of these stories in her own gifted voice and words. I am only bitter I cannot write like this author. Five stars and two thumbs-up. Barreca is a treasure.
June 26, 2009
"Love is blind" No, love is not blind. ... But love is certainly hard of hearing. If people always heard what other people said, or did not choose to ignore what they meant, it would be impossible to be in love."
Favorite chapter: "How much of a crazy astronaut lady are you?"
Favorite chapter: "How much of a crazy astronaut lady are you?"
August 1, 2009
Very funny! I enjoyed the political commentary as well as the social commentary. My favorite passage was perhaps the one about young women on the beach being like gazelles in their native habitat--something age makes one appreciate more each year!
August 27, 2009
What I know when I finish this book is that (1) I'm guilty of many of her stupid-traps-women-fall-into descriptions and (2) I want her to be my friend! There are some major laugh-out-loud lines in these essays and she really gives you perspective on how ridiculous we can all be.
September 9, 2009
I was looking for a light, funny read and this was just what I wanted. If you like Jen Lancaster or Laurie Notaro, you will probably enjoy this one. Barreca is witty and snarky, but sometimes can be a little bit preachy. This was a very quick read
June 8, 2009
Funny, inspiring, and thought provoking...I kept wanting to write in the margins, but the book belongs to the library!
June 9, 2009
This is a funny book.
April 20, 2010
I loved it. So many
June 14, 2011
Hysterical and fun... can't wait to finish it!
September 8, 2011
I enjoy her style and humor.
December 31, 2011
Fun and funny.
September 9, 2012
Absolutely love it. Laughed the entire first chapter. Sometimes I feel she is writing about me!
October 1, 2012
Some parts are very funny for the right women. Bought the book after seeing the author speak. The book is entertaining and a quick read.
November 22, 2015
Very funny and insightful.
January 19, 2016
This book made me feel 49 years old. And American. Two of the worst things.
May 19, 2020
I love Gina 's wit. She really makes you think about Why we do certain things and the differences between women & men's thought processes. Although she is a feminist, I feel that she never really puts down men, as so many do. Her books always make me smile, but she is just hilarious in person. Wonder what her classes are like? I'm sure they are entertaining as well as educational.
August 10, 2018
3.5 Stars
Like any book which is in essence a compendium of opinions, Gina Barreca's It's Not That I'm Bitter . . .: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Visible Panty Lines and Conquered the World has both hits and misses. As is the usual way of things, opinions you agree with will seem SO true and those you disagree with stupid, banal or plain offensive.
It is made up of a collection of forty short takes on topics from cougars to bras to the supernatural, flossing and female politicians and just about everything else in between. Some of these seem wise and insightful -
"we thought life would be better for women—and men, yes, we thought it would improve for men, too—when women were seen as being productive rather than merely reproductive members of society"
"Women keep renaming ourselves. We have many aliases even when we didn’t plan it that way: childhood names, maiden names, married names, professional names, and nicknames.We make ourselves into nesting dolls and then wonder who’s at the centre."
- others less so (I really don't care how much Barreca has been thinking about psychics or that her grandmother taught her to be grateful when bad things happened to her - seems invalidating, like a prettier form of self-immolation to me). This isn't a major issue. You will never agree with everything.
What IS an issue is that in attempting to make her opinions apply/appeal to wide groups of people, Barreca stereotypes all over the place. Not all women are the same. Not all men are the same. Not all English people have bad teeth and an obsession with sausages. Not all academics dress like stereotypical geography teachers. Feminists are allowed to miss their boyfriends when they're away on holiday. I'm not nitpicking here. Actions like labelling all men as x, y, z doesn't entice men towards feminist thought. Labelling all women as m, n, o defeats the point. People are not defined by what is between their legs.
Barreca's writing hits close to the heart of things... and also misses them by a mile. It is, dare I say it, probably most likely to be enjoyed by women most similar to herself.
Like any book which is in essence a compendium of opinions, Gina Barreca's It's Not That I'm Bitter . . .: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Visible Panty Lines and Conquered the World has both hits and misses. As is the usual way of things, opinions you agree with will seem SO true and those you disagree with stupid, banal or plain offensive.
It is made up of a collection of forty short takes on topics from cougars to bras to the supernatural, flossing and female politicians and just about everything else in between. Some of these seem wise and insightful -
"we thought life would be better for women—and men, yes, we thought it would improve for men, too—when women were seen as being productive rather than merely reproductive members of society"
"Women keep renaming ourselves. We have many aliases even when we didn’t plan it that way: childhood names, maiden names, married names, professional names, and nicknames.We make ourselves into nesting dolls and then wonder who’s at the centre."
- others less so (I really don't care how much Barreca has been thinking about psychics or that her grandmother taught her to be grateful when bad things happened to her - seems invalidating, like a prettier form of self-immolation to me). This isn't a major issue. You will never agree with everything.
What IS an issue is that in attempting to make her opinions apply/appeal to wide groups of people, Barreca stereotypes all over the place. Not all women are the same. Not all men are the same. Not all English people have bad teeth and an obsession with sausages. Not all academics dress like stereotypical geography teachers. Feminists are allowed to miss their boyfriends when they're away on holiday. I'm not nitpicking here. Actions like labelling all men as x, y, z doesn't entice men towards feminist thought. Labelling all women as m, n, o defeats the point. People are not defined by what is between their legs.
Barreca's writing hits close to the heart of things... and also misses them by a mile. It is, dare I say it, probably most likely to be enjoyed by women most similar to herself.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 68 reviews