Beyond the Valley of the Apocalypse Donkeys

by Jordan Krall, Jason Wuchenich (Preface), Gordon K. Smith (Introduction)

A nudist colony. A rare film. A donkey-headed woman.A murder. The hummingbird.Explore identity, marriage, madness, and obsession in a phantasmagoricorgy of violence and voyeurism.

Genres: Bizarro Fiction, Horror, Fiction, Ebooks, Humor

174 pages, Paperback

First published August 15, 2011

About the author

Books include:

TENTACLE DEATH TRIP
FISTFUL OF FEET
MOTEL MAN
KING SCRATCH
BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE APOCALYPSE DONKEYS
PIECEMEAL JUNE
SQUID PULP BLUES
NEWLY SHAVEN SAINT
UNFRUITFUL WORKS
PRELUDE TO SPACE RAPE!
SQUID KILLS
THE PISTOL BURPS
ALL POEMS MUST DIE
FALSE MAGIC KINGDOM
BAD ALCHEMY
THE GOG AND MAGOG BUSINESS
YOUR CITIES, YOUR TOMBS

Reviews

[Dan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Henry Price makes a delivery to a nudist colony and becomes entranced by a naked woman wearing a donkey mask. Gary Lancaster is obsessed with a movie called The Apocalypse Donkeys, a film that may or may not be real, and blueberry pancakes. Bill Stapleton is an aging former daredevil who knows someone is sleeping with his wife. But how are the men linked by the mysterious green hummingbird?

Jordan Krall continues to impress me. I first became a fan of his after Fistful of Feet, his bizarro western. Subsequent books of his like Squid Pulp Blues and King Scratch have reinforced my opinion of him as an author to watch in the future. Then this book came along.

I've read a lot of bizarro fiction in 2011 and this one may have taken the cake. How many other books have you read that prominently feature a naked woman in a donkey mask, a green hummingbird, blueberry pancakes, and a nudist colony? And I didn't even mention references to Small Wonder, that 80's sitcom featuring the little girl robot, or the 66 Ford Futura, the car they used to construct the Batmobile in the 1960's Batman show.

The book starts off just a little odd and becomes positively nightmarish by the end. The nature of identity is explored, as are aspects of voyeurism. The scene near the end with Gary and the coven of naked donkey-masked women was my favorite part of the book.

That's about all I have to say. Krall's rendered me speechless. It's an easy four but expect a helping of uneasiness while you read it.

[Seb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yep, this is Jordan Krall. I had my doubts, seriously. The story was just so smooth, so easy going, so simple to get into,... Not at all what I'd expect from Jordan.

Don't get me wrong, I really liked it and had to keep reading to see what was going to happen. But... Where was Jordan Krall?

And then he finally came out of the corner. Late in the show but here! The hallmarks started to pile up after 70% or so and I got what I came for ^^

In the end, Beyond the Valley of the Apocalypse Donkeys is a really good book, probably the most accessible of Jordan's. If you want to read Jordan Krall, you'll find an easy way in. However, you might not really find here ... Jordan Krall. 🤷

[Mike Kleine · Rating 5 out of 5]

BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE APOCALYPSE DONKEYS could best be described as Jordan Krall’s mini-tour de force, and I say this only because I know that he is still hard at work on that oh-so-perfect-you’ll-know-it’s-perfect-when-you-read-it future novel. To be blunt, BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE APOCALYPSE DONKEYS seems like an unfinished pulp jumble of a novel and reads like a literary journal but like I said earlier, it’s as close as we are going to get to a Jordan Krall magnum opus this early in his writing career. Just to give you a sample of the text, here are a few of the things you’ll find in BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE APOCALYPSE DONKEYS: a nudist colony with a woman who is always wearing a donkey mask, fantasies about pancake batter and bodily fluids, a film aficionado on a bizarre mission to find some larger-than-life cult film, post-modern chapter markers and parentheses galore and four separate essays on BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE APOCALYPSE DONKEYS, presented in the style of: a preface, introduction, foreword and afterward!

Having said that, BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE APOCALYPSE DONKEYS couldn’t be anything but a Krall text. The vocabulary and knowledge about film is impressive and the multi-character narratives have quickly become distinct markers of a Krall text. Fortunately, Krall also strays from some of his usual tropes. As an example, there is no mention of squid within the entire text and though there are some violent bits, the usual ultra-violence has been moderately trimmed to a more tasteful, though not necessarily more interesting, brutality.

The writing style of BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE APOCALYPSE DONKEYS shows a sort of maturity that’s been lacking in some of the other Krall texts and reveals a style of story-telling that, until now, has never been thoroughly explored by Krall. Much of the character dialogue is internalized (which is standard for Krall) but a substantial portion of the novel begs the reader to ask several questions concerning the characters’ credibility and reliability as narrators. As is the case with all Krall texts, nothing seems overly-complicated and the dialogue, if anything, is entirely conversational and easy to comprehend. So while the presentation remains the same in BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE APOCALYPSE DONKEYS, it’s the subject matter that takes us in a new direction. Again, like in several other Krall novels, a handful of questions will never actually be answered but these questions actually manage to satisfy the reading appetite. In other words, Krall employs a clever writing technique where the reader is actually left to assume certain things since nothing is ever made exceptionally explicit. And while some may find this to be bothersome, Krall introduces these moments in a manner that is difficult to detect so many readers will never realize that any of it ever actually happened.

Among other things, the story in BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE APOCALYPSE DONKEYS gradually dwindles into this sort of cosmic fantasy-like delusion, which honestly causes some problems. Though Krall is known for his bizarre imagery and knack for squid-fueled scenarios, his strength lies in the fact that he can make any situation seem almost plausible, however ridiculous. Much of what happens in BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE APOCALYPSE DONKEYS actually seems very credible and BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE APOCALYPSE DONKEYS is probably the least bizarro of all the Krall texts but at the same time, it is also one of his best. In fewer words, BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE APOCALYPSE DONKEYS seems pretty straight-forward (in a way that feels natural and pleasant to read) until the very end.

But endings are not always meant to be pleasant and I think that Krall consciously took the route of the author who is willing to sacrifice the (good?) happy/satisfying ending for the more complicated and ultimately, unsatisfying denouement. Generally, this would severely affect my opinion of the book but considering everything I have said of the text so far, it only makes sense that Krall was able to rouse such a strong emotion from me. In an almost meta-textual style, Krall begins BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE APOCALYPSE DONKEYS somewhat grounded in reality but gradually slips into the unintentional and, if we were to use reductionist terms, creates a story that absolutely feels like a daydream—because it all seems so plausible yet we know it is impossible and cannot be real, which I feel the ending is trying to confirm.

The essays themselves (excluding the lengthy afterword by Matthew Revert) are quite easy to read and frankly, don’t offer much in the way of clarification concerning the text but rather, ask even more questions, without ever offering any plausible answers. At the same time though, it’s quite interesting to read these mini dissertations (that strangely feel like reviews…) and realize that ultimately, they all pronounce BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE APOCALYPSE DONKEYS as a Krall text like no other, a “weird tour de force if ever there’s been one.” But then in the end, we are still left asking ourselves, “what is this story about?”

Well, for starters, I'd say it’s a biography of sorts...

[James Stone · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well, I continue to consume the works of Mr. Krall. This book is in the first, second and third person perspectives. It is, at times, laugh out loud funny; in other cases it is absurd and gross. Being the sort of creature that I am, I enjoyed it immensely.
People in the story act sane, act crazy, act in a bizarre manner and things that seem impossible keep happening. I really can't say more without giving too much away. In some ways, it is a love story, a story of marriages seemingly on the rocks and the desperate acts some people make to either further destroy their marriages out of revenge. Some times they find that their "hurtful" acts actually strengthen the bond between the couple. One character finds that having his wish come true by being given entrance to a nudist colony (where most of the action occurs) only to discover that it is just too crazy for him.
I want to say more but fear giving away too much. It is not a long book, a novella, really, and reads very quickly. There are two related short stories at the end which bring the reader into greater clarity, or do they? I know this, JK's description of the long lost film regarding the Apocalypse Donkeys is brilliantly crazy and shows to me, amazing freedom of the creative process.
If you are looking for something truly odd and different and thought-provoking, then I do recommend this book. If disjointed, seemingly unrelated chapters and characters all caught up in the same story, then this is for you. if you cannot take those kinds of "jumps" from character to character and voice to voice, then this book will likely drive you crazy and I don't recommend it. To fans of the bizarre, creative, gross and new, I recommend this book highly.

[Dustin Reade · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you read anything by Jordan Krall? No? Well then, let me tell you something about the way I think he writes his books.
First, he picks a handful of things he wants to include in the book. Every writer does this. Steven King has his person or person(s) from Castle Rock. Philip K. Dick has his Telepaths.
Jordan Krall has donkeys, sexual fetishism, obscure actors and actresses of the early days of Hollywood, and shellfish.
He then writes a story in a style that has come to be known as "Bizarro Noir". He incorporates all of the aforementioned items into the story by way of character eccentricities, or exceedingly unusual tie-ins.
This, he does to masterful effect.
However, with his latest book, "Beyond The Valley Of The Apocalypse Donkeys", he takes these elements one step further. No longer are they mere character points, they are PLOT points. Indeed, they are the basis of the whole dang book. Donkeys, masks, fetishes, old actresses, film knowledge, and the beautiful stink of the human animal run rampant throughout this one, and the effect is dazzling, which is something I have never, EVER said in a review before.
Krall really is at the top of his game here, and it is a lot of fun to read an author blowing his creative load like this. I got the same feeling reading this book as I got while reading William S. Burrough's "Naked Lunch" for the first time. That excitement of reading something new and unusual.
Krall experiments with everything here: tense, voice, perspective, narrative, poetics...everything.
The imagery is solid and bizarre. The sex is uncomfortably arousing.
It's like a story sandwich with cover bread.


What?

[Donald Armfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

After Henry makes his second delivery to a nudist colony he becomes involved with a woman wearing a donkey mask. Bill the ex-dare devil is her husband who goes on a rampage to find out who is wife is cheating on him with. Then there is Gary the pancake loving movie reviewer.
This outrageous story had me laughing and saying what the F. Jordan Krall does it again with his comedy side.
Its like Exit To Eden meets Bizarro World. A must read

[Vicente Ribes · Rating 3 out of 5]

Un libro de terror bastante surrealista y desconcertante. Un chaval se obsesiona con una extraña película llamada " El burro del Apocalipsis" y se pone em contacto con otro chico que colecciona films antiguos.
Ante la ruda respuesta de este se lo carga y pasa a ocupar su lugar en un campamento nudista. En ese mismo campamento conoce a una mujer que lo seduce y que siempre va desnuda y con una máscara de caballo.
Las cosas se siguen poniendo lisergicas hasta el final que ya es barrabasada. Bastante humorístico y estrafalario.

[Renee Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book just butt-raped me a little bit.

Think David Lynch meets Chloe Sevigny meets that episode of Lost where you find out that Locke was in a wheelchair.

That's how much I loved it.

[Jayaprakash Satyamurthy · Rating 4 out of 5]

full disclosure: this author is publishing a book by me. if he hadn't been, I'd have given this preposterous concoction 5/5.

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Donkeys seems like a pretty straight up bizarro novel and then you get to the end and all hell breaks loose. The book just stops making sense and for a lot of readers that is going to drive them nuts.

Bizarro doesn't follow a whole lot of rules and that's where the appeal lies. When you start reading this it does follow a plot and then when you're done you try and make sense of what you just read. Was this a statement against infidelity or was it all just some crazy dream?

That's why this book is so good. It doesn't explain anything and the surrealism and absurdity just fit right in. Krall is talented enough to throw in all these loose plot threads and then pull them apart. You can discuss this book with four different people and every single one of them will have their own interpretation of what the novel is about. The bottom line is that it's a solid book and one that I highly recommend.

[Jeremy Maddux · Rating 5 out of 5]

Snowed in and dusted this off on my Kindle. Forgot how great it was. It's about a VHS collector/online movie reviewer who's in search of a most rare artifact from the VHS era about a woman in a donkey mask committing horrible atrocities to the flesh and some ritual sacrifice and scarification if I remember correctly. There's also a hummingbird that may or may not relate to the main thrust of the story, tons of insider jokes about the tape trading underground, urine to mouth transference, torture and a stack of pancakes. Still can't rival Krall's Tentacle Death Trip, but it reminds me of certain 'niche', closeknit communities and how impenetrable their secrets and customs may seem to outsiders. It succeeds in making old grainy VHS films what they were always destined to be: myths in the great lexicon of cinema.

[R.A. Harris · Rating 5 out of 5]

What starts off as an innocent enough scenario soon becomes a weird tale where continuity really is a myth. Other reviews no doubt deal with the bulk of the plot, so I'll just suffice to say that the plot is top notch, really fun Lynchian style bizarre mystery/wtf?!. Think Krall's Squid Pulp Blues, but with a female donkey with larger breasts.

The writing is great: some fun dialogue and quirky characters.

The cover is awesome.

I don't have a bad word to say about it.

I read it in one sitting, helped by the bus I was on breaking down.

Recommend for fans of Lynchian movies, bizarre books, and large mammary glands.

[Mongo Rhea · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked that I didn't fully understand it

[Vincenzo Bilof · Rating 5 out of 5]

A vivid dream or nightmare that seems to flicker like a light bulb in a room filled with flies. There is something to see and there is something to not see. Words craft illusion and images that may or may not have been taped by David Croenenberg under an alias. If Croenenberg and David Lynch were asked to write a book together that must be their definition of a "Grindhouse-style" story while watching Stanley Kurbick movies, they might have written something like Beyond the Valley of the Apocalypse Donkeys.

The plot is executed as casually as the prose; the book unfolds like a rare VHS tape with bad tracking, something that is part guilty-pleasure and part novelty. It's the one video in a the adult film store that has a plot, the one video that gets rented and never returned. You could read this book in the same amount of time it takes for a pretentious Quentin Tarrantino dialogue sequence to finish, and you'd get more out of it. Even though I compared this book to a porn film that has a plot, it might be more accurate to suggest that most people underestimate the power of a good breakfast.

A nudist colony. A woman wearing a donkey mask. The search for a cult film that would put Salo to shame, or would at least make cable executives think about putting it on Fox to ensure the Donkey film doesn't get aired. Maybe this book has disturbing imagery, and maybe there's a motorcycle thrown in somewhere. I can't remember. I had more fun "watching" this book than trying to figure it out.

"Figure it out?" I suppose this book should be sitting between Patricia Cornwell and James Patterson on Wal-Mart shelves, but I think this book would be better suited for airport bookstores alongside the likes of Jeffrey Deaver and Nora Roberts. Mystery and romance abound, and maybe there's social commentary on the ramifications of a society that loves casual sex, or maybe there isn't. A nude woman wore a donkey mask in this book, and a bunch of people were killed, or maybe they weren't.

If my review doesn't make sense, that's because you can't look for meaning in a dream or a nightmare that never leaves you. Images and sensations that pop into your brain when you're eating pancakes or watching a movie--this is the subconscious reminding you that you're alive, and that you exist, somewhere. In a couple years, I'll forget I read this book and think that I dreamt it, instead. Such is the power of a good read. I don't recommend this book, because I don't want you to read it. You'll ruin it. This is an all-time personal favorite. Go ahead and try to dissect this book. The donkey apocalypse is coming.

[Sheldon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Upon reading the title, your first thought may be “What exactly is an Apocalypse Donkey?” For the answer to this question, please call 1-800-APOCADONK.

Okay, so my first thought on reading Beyond the Valley of the Apocalypse Donkeys by Jordan Krall was that the author needs to lay off the acid for a bit. This one gets weird. Like, really weird. But then again, it has to. How else can you fit nudists, donkey masks, green hummingbirds, and blueberry pancakes in the same narrative?

Henry delivers sporting goods to a nudist colony for his uncle, Vincent. As such, he's allowed to periodically “hang out” (get it?), and at one points meets an older woman wearing a donkey mask which she never takes off. While the two have their tryst (she's cheating on her ex-dare-devil husband, Bill, although he's well aware of her infidelity, not to mention his own), Henry is also dealing with Gary, who believes (i.e., obsessed) that Henry could get him a copy of one of the rarest movies in existence, “The Apocalypse Donkey.” A murder, a kidnapping, a not-quite orgy, a director's cut, blueberry pancakes, and general mayhem later, and you're left asking “What did I just read?”

But the thing is, like “The Apocalypse Donkey” and blueberry pancakes, it sticks with you. You keep reading, wondering where it's going, and afterwords you keep thinking about it and wonder where it went. This is the mark of a good writer, making you continue to think about the book long after it's done. Like blueberry pancakes, you'll keep digesting it over and over. And in the end, you realize things really couldn't have gone any other way.

When reading this book, you'll also need to be sure that you read the Afterword by Matthew Revert. This is a little gem tucked in at the end that I'm concerned being an Afterword will get largely ignored by many who read the book. Written as an alternate history and telling the tale of the “original” Jordan Krall (as explained in the Foreword) and production and publication of the Beyond the Valley of the Apocalypse Donkeys, the best way I can describe it is “mind-numbingly hysterical.”

Beyond the Valley of the Apocalypse Donkeys by Jordan Krall earns 4 out of 5 stars.

[Justin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let me start by saying there is no easy way to write a review for BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE APOCALYPSE DONKEYS.

For the most part the book centers around a rare film entitled THE APOCALYPSE DONKEY that the main character is searching out that he vaguely remembers from his youth. This automatically brought back nostalgic feelings for me because I have also seen some strange films (Forbidden Zone & Dellamorte Dellamore) on some obscure channel when I was a child and later sought them out.

Beyond this Krall has created some truly ingenious characters including a woman in a donkey mask who is an instant favorite. This book is filled with clever scene after clever scene. Some of which are outright hilarious. Oh yeah, THERE'S ALSO BLUEBERRY PANCAKES!

BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE APOCALYPSE DONKEYS is damn near impossible to put down. I haven't had so much fun reading a book in a long time. Again, this book is hard to describe and needs to be read to be understood. ...And even then?

Overall...BEST BOOK EVER!

[Sam McCanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jordan Krall is back, and in top shape, with Beyond the Valley of the Apocalypse Donkeys... Which means I've just put down the book and am left not quite sure what has just happened to me, but knowing it was a very pleasing experience nonetheless.

The story here, at least in part, is about a much sought-after, long lost film called THE APOCALYPSE DONKEY, and a man who really wants to find it.
Problems abound, including a giant hummingbird, nude women in donkey masks, and a jealous husband.

This book takes you on a scatter-fire journey and then dumps you into a fantastic afterword by Matthew Revert... an afterword in EIGHT(8) parts.
An afterward with it's own afterward, written as a bizarro alternate history.

Loved it!

[Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Women in donkey masks holding the secrets of the universe in their phlegm and spittle, blueberry pancake portals, and the loss of male ego. It sounds a lot more meaningful than it is. But, really, seriously, if you don't get eggs with that, just sit back and take it quietly, whatever your name is.

[Juan Vizcarra · Rating 5 out of 5]

My first read by Jordan Krall was Tentacle Death Trip which was a Mad Max-esque death race to the city of R'lyeh with an ending that's the equivalent of placing your brain in a blender.

This book is a perpetual brain-in-a-blender scenario from beggining to end.
I see a lot of influence from David Lynch in this work with a dash of surreal paganism very reminiscent of movies like Żuławski's Possession.
If you're a fan of analog horror and bizarre narratives, this will be your cup of tea. Absolutely loved this book. The kindle edition comes with a section of flash fiction that complements the ending of the book to close it with a perfect circle.

Will be reading more from Krall very soon.

[Gertrudis Fortinbras · Rating 3 out of 5]

A ver no esta mal, pero podria estar mejor.

[Sadie Forsythe · Rating 3 out of 5]

Every once in a while I get a hankering for a little bizarro fiction. So, I read one, laugh and repeat, "What the hell am I reading?" All the while wondering if there is some deep theme that is flying over my head or under my notice. Voyeurism, love, identity, art? Beyond the Valley of the Apocalypse Donkeys was a bit like that for me. Most the time it felt like some odd, drug induced trauma and I had no idea what was actually happening. A bunch of crazy people's craziness seemed to be intersecting in bizarre ways....or there's a preternatural, killer hummingbird on the loose. Hard to tell. But if you're into a bit of a mind trip, this ones a lot of fun.

[Joel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is high-test nightmare fuel - a great blast of pulp surrealism. Krall's prose is profane yet precise, studded with vivid images dredged from his id, and he has a way of making unlikely situations seem credible.

[Chris Bowsman · Rating 5 out of 5]

everything there is to love about Jordan's writing is here in spades, extra gritty and grimy.

[Jeff Pickering · Rating 4 out of 5]

Big tits and donkey masks, pool boy banging the saucy older cougar lady vibes.. Interesting read in parts but there's nothing worse than an author trying a little too hard to be 'off the wall'.