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Failure Is Not NOT an Option: How the Chubby Gay Son of a Jesus-Obsessed Lesbian Found Love, Family, and Podcast Success . . . and a Bunch of Other Stuff
Patrick Hinds has failed. A lot. In fact, he’s kind of an expert at it—which is why he’s uniquely qualified to say that failure is a good thing.
On paper, the chubby, poor, gay son of a lesbian who wrote pornographic letters to Jesus isn’t the person that you think of when you hear the word “success.” Yet Patrick Hinds has somehow managed to bungle his way through to become the successful co-host of True Crime Obsessed—a podcast with more than 200 million downloads.
Before that, though, he failed at many, many things. Patrick’s life is a series of fiascos, missteps, and just plain bad ideas. An eternal optimist, he’s always thrown himself into everything he’s done, even when he probably shouldn’t have. He devoted himself to becoming an actor even though he was terrible, started a daycare even though he hated kids, and somehow had a disastrous time with Bea Arthur . . . even though he couldn’t be gayer.
Both heartfelt and hilarious, Failure Is Not Not an Option lets Patrick’s signature storytelling style shine—and it’s also the only book to bravely and definitively declare:
1: Failing simply means that you tried (and if you try enough, eventually success will be an option, too).
2: Ted Bundy is. Not. Hot.
By trying, and yes, failing at so many things, Patrick finally found his way—to a great career, a great husband, and a great family. Along the way, there were hurdles to jump, unexpected surprises, and no shortage of laughter. Failure is Not NOT an Option is a fun and outrageous read that will raise you up—and provide a soft landing pad for the next time you fall.
On paper, the chubby, poor, gay son of a lesbian who wrote pornographic letters to Jesus isn’t the person that you think of when you hear the word “success.” Yet Patrick Hinds has somehow managed to bungle his way through to become the successful co-host of True Crime Obsessed—a podcast with more than 200 million downloads.
Before that, though, he failed at many, many things. Patrick’s life is a series of fiascos, missteps, and just plain bad ideas. An eternal optimist, he’s always thrown himself into everything he’s done, even when he probably shouldn’t have. He devoted himself to becoming an actor even though he was terrible, started a daycare even though he hated kids, and somehow had a disastrous time with Bea Arthur . . . even though he couldn’t be gayer.
Both heartfelt and hilarious, Failure Is Not Not an Option lets Patrick’s signature storytelling style shine—and it’s also the only book to bravely and definitively declare:
1: Failing simply means that you tried (and if you try enough, eventually success will be an option, too).
2: Ted Bundy is. Not. Hot.
By trying, and yes, failing at so many things, Patrick finally found his way—to a great career, a great husband, and a great family. Along the way, there were hurdles to jump, unexpected surprises, and no shortage of laughter. Failure is Not NOT an Option is a fun and outrageous read that will raise you up—and provide a soft landing pad for the next time you fall.
240 pages, Hardcover
Published September 26, 2023
91 people are currently reading
802 people want to read
About the author
Patrick Hinds
3 books60 followersPatrick Hinds is the author of "Failure Is Not NOT an Option," released in Fall of 2023. His humorous memoir ascended to bestseller status on both the Wall Street Journal and Publisher Weekly lists. The success of his "Book Party" is a testament to Patrick's ability to captivate audiences, with sold-out events leaving a lasting mark on attendees in both the U.S. and London.
In the world of audio, Patrick Hinds emerges as a groundbreaking figure, serving as the co-creator and co-host of both "True Crime Obsessed" and "The Golden Girls Deep Dive Podcast." Hinds’ distinct fusion of wit and compassion brings a fresh perspective to podcasting. With a notable background in Broadway podcasts like Theater People and Broadway Backstory, Patrick stands as a trailblazer in the entertainment industry.
Patrick and Gillian have garnered an impressive 200 million podcast downloads for TCO. Their historic achievements include being the first podcasters to grace Broadway with a live show in 2022. Separately, Patrick Hinds and co-host Jennifer Simard, dive into “The Golden Girls” universe weekly on "The Golden Girls Deep Dive Podcast." Together, they revisit every episode of the hit sitcom, providing behind-the-scenes stories, trivia, and lighthearted banter.
In the world of audio, Patrick Hinds emerges as a groundbreaking figure, serving as the co-creator and co-host of both "True Crime Obsessed" and "The Golden Girls Deep Dive Podcast." Hinds’ distinct fusion of wit and compassion brings a fresh perspective to podcasting. With a notable background in Broadway podcasts like Theater People and Broadway Backstory, Patrick stands as a trailblazer in the entertainment industry.
Patrick and Gillian have garnered an impressive 200 million podcast downloads for TCO. Their historic achievements include being the first podcasters to grace Broadway with a live show in 2022. Separately, Patrick Hinds and co-host Jennifer Simard, dive into “The Golden Girls” universe weekly on "The Golden Girls Deep Dive Podcast." Together, they revisit every episode of the hit sitcom, providing behind-the-scenes stories, trivia, and lighthearted banter.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 405 reviews
October 2, 2023
Most of the funny stories are ones that have been told on his podcasts. Maybe it’s all of the behind the scenes information that has come to light, but the rest of the stories just felt a little like being with a tone deaf acquaintance who is constantly bragging about their money and brushes with fame.
August 24, 2023
Got this from a friend who went to the book party. Author is basically an open book about his life on his podcast and his social media. So definitely not worth the price. Also seems over the top self congratulatory all while trying to give off the self deprecating vibe. Think how 99% of people answer the “what’s your biggest flaw?” Question in an interview. We all say something to the effect of “I work too hard, I’m too detailed……” blah blah blah. It’s all BS and we know it when it’s coming out of our mouths so why waste $25 and the time it takes to read 250 ish pages of that nonsense. Pass on this one yall!
October 5, 2023
This book is mostly stories already told on the podcast. The only additions were his friendship with an older rich man who treated him with nice things, his celebrity encounters (I personally don't care about celebs at all), and finally background on how they started the podcast. I can't believe he basically outed himself on having no intent but that true crime was profitable. I feel like a sucker for buying this book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 13, 2023
What a waste of money. If I hadn't bought the digital version, I would have returned this. The VAST majority of this book isn't new. Patrick isn't the best storyteller, and getting someone to help him tell his stories better didn't really work. If you were a TCO patreon member and you bought this book, you basically paid for it twice. It also turns out that the author seems to be a pretty terrible person, especially to marginalized people, so I'm pretty upset to have supported that. 0/10 do not recommend.
October 5, 2023
As a long time TCO listener, and someone who did attend the traveling book party, I was super excited to read this book. It was fun, sure. But way too self congratulatory, and name drop-y to actually enjoy the funny celebrity anecdotes. I thought it was an interesting choice to take the time to describe all the made up celebrity stories he told while interning at a radio show, then launch into sharing with readers his other, apparently real celeb stories. Didn’t he just share with us what an unreliable narrator he is? But I get it, he’s showy, and over the top and very much wants to be seen that way.
The entire chapter on his lesbian mother’s sex life was a bit cringey. Not because it wasn’t interesting, but it felt like he was using his mother’s life to be shocking and interesting… and it’s not his story. Also, the entire chapter where he describes renting a private plane with his family to go visit his mother but needing to pee on the flight, read like any modern day celebrity trying desperately to appear relatable to the average person while somehow still being so out of touch with what average people are going through. We get it, Patrick, you’ve done very well for yourself.
I’m left feeling like perhaps having a co-host to check him when he speaks, as GP often does, makes Patrick a little more palatable. While I appreciate the overall message of the book, (you have to fail many times before you find success, and that’s okay!) I found myself rolling my eyes by the time I was finished. But I also have a low tolerance for very capable adults pretending to be incompetent because they think it’s cute and funny. Overall, this book offered a few laughs, and a few sweet moments, but also made me realize one of my favorite podcast hosts is really annoying.
The entire chapter on his lesbian mother’s sex life was a bit cringey. Not because it wasn’t interesting, but it felt like he was using his mother’s life to be shocking and interesting… and it’s not his story. Also, the entire chapter where he describes renting a private plane with his family to go visit his mother but needing to pee on the flight, read like any modern day celebrity trying desperately to appear relatable to the average person while somehow still being so out of touch with what average people are going through. We get it, Patrick, you’ve done very well for yourself.
I’m left feeling like perhaps having a co-host to check him when he speaks, as GP often does, makes Patrick a little more palatable. While I appreciate the overall message of the book, (you have to fail many times before you find success, and that’s okay!) I found myself rolling my eyes by the time I was finished. But I also have a low tolerance for very capable adults pretending to be incompetent because they think it’s cute and funny. Overall, this book offered a few laughs, and a few sweet moments, but also made me realize one of my favorite podcast hosts is really annoying.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 24, 2023
Might as well have called it, the story of narcissism and greed the Patrick Hinds story, or how to use everyone around you under the guise of being your friend until you are no longer of use to be even if that friendship is 20+ years long.
If you really want to read this book I'm sure you can find it all up and down the garbage cans of Dallas Texas, because like the man that wrote it, it's just one big dumpster fire.
If you really want to read this book I'm sure you can find it all up and down the garbage cans of Dallas Texas, because like the man that wrote it, it's just one big dumpster fire.
July 1, 2025
I’ve never seen someone so desperate for fame, anything to be a ‘lebrity, eh?
These stories are not interesting, most have been told to death in other mediums, and half of them are just about fleeting interactions with actual famous people.
The only reason this is a “bestseller” is because the author bought all the books and gave them away at every live show for his podcast.
These stories are not interesting, most have been told to death in other mediums, and half of them are just about fleeting interactions with actual famous people.
The only reason this is a “bestseller” is because the author bought all the books and gave them away at every live show for his podcast.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 7, 2023
Not cohesive not well written and made me dislike the author enough to unsubscribe from his podcast.
January 24, 2024
This book was…
* Every FaceTime call you couldn’t escape
* A one-trick pony as far as humor — aka, quick, make a sex joke!
* A re-gift, because misery loves company
It is a little difficult to separate the stories and attitude of this book from the way Patrick and Gillian have handled the recent Obsessed Fest debacle. And if you haven’t listened to any of his podcasts, most of these stories will be new and maybe entertaining.
But what I walked away with (as an apparently boring heterosexual with a traditional 9 to 5) was a gross feeling in my mouth about the way every single man is described, some of whom were minors described from a present-day perspective, which reinforces a dangerous stereotype. I walked away feeling Patrick hasn’t learned much from his apparent failures, but instead continues to “fall upward” … there’s nothing inspiring here. No lessons to take away and apply to your own life…just wish and believe and stomp your feet when things don’t go your way, and life will turn out great.
Patrick basically wrote an exposé about himself, highlighting how entitled his worldview is. And the book is one more tick in the timeline of odd or lucky choices he’s made.
I can’t see myself ever reaching for it again, and will never share this with anyone else.
* Every FaceTime call you couldn’t escape
* A one-trick pony as far as humor — aka, quick, make a sex joke!
* A re-gift, because misery loves company
It is a little difficult to separate the stories and attitude of this book from the way Patrick and Gillian have handled the recent Obsessed Fest debacle. And if you haven’t listened to any of his podcasts, most of these stories will be new and maybe entertaining.
But what I walked away with (as an apparently boring heterosexual with a traditional 9 to 5) was a gross feeling in my mouth about the way every single man is described, some of whom were minors described from a present-day perspective, which reinforces a dangerous stereotype. I walked away feeling Patrick hasn’t learned much from his apparent failures, but instead continues to “fall upward” … there’s nothing inspiring here. No lessons to take away and apply to your own life…just wish and believe and stomp your feet when things don’t go your way, and life will turn out great.
Patrick basically wrote an exposé about himself, highlighting how entitled his worldview is. And the book is one more tick in the timeline of odd or lucky choices he’s made.
I can’t see myself ever reaching for it again, and will never share this with anyone else.
October 24, 2023
Returning.
October 4, 2023
Tried to read bc someone I knew had the book and was going to toss it in the trash. I should've let her. Terrible.
October 17, 2023
ETA: the below review was written before I knew about the allegations of poor treatment of coworkers and collaborators (most/ all women), shady business practices re: contracts with hosts, and ITN hosts leaving the network over their poor treatment. The allegations, which have been substantiated by reliable sources, taint my view of both Patrick as a person and the book and the stories told in it. Substantially. Edited book stars from 4 (I really did laugh a lot), to 1 (the ick I felt in a few places reading about his alcohol use, money stuff, and diva-like “look at me I’m famous” behavior grew as I learned more about who he was behind closed doors and made me reevaluate my star rating.).
I read the Audible version. I mean, when a podcaster reads their own book, seems right, doesn’t it?
This book is a laugh out loud funny memoir about moments the life of Patrick Hinds. You are more likely the enjoy of you listen to any of his podcasts (Theater People is missed!). But truly anyone can enjoy this book about how sometimes we have to fail, fail, and fail some more to get to our successes, (which he has found in love, family, and podcasting). And why the road full of failure is ok! It lead you to where you are today. Great message.
I read the Audible version. I mean, when a podcaster reads their own book, seems right, doesn’t it?
This book is a laugh out loud funny memoir about moments the life of Patrick Hinds. You are more likely the enjoy of you listen to any of his podcasts (Theater People is missed!). But truly anyone can enjoy this book about how sometimes we have to fail, fail, and fail some more to get to our successes, (which he has found in love, family, and podcasting). And why the road full of failure is ok! It lead you to where you are today. Great message.
November 20, 2023
Let me begin by saying I’m a big fan of the podcast and I’ve been listening for years. But man this book was hard to get through.
It was written so ANNOYINGLY. I get that this was a purposeful decision (bad grammar, lots of !!!! and ???? and choppy sentences) but it made it really hard to read.
If anything, I actually like Patrick less after reading this. He’s an open pathological liar, so when he says “this 100% happened” more than once after a story, I don’t know if I believe him. He seems like a fame-hungry, greedy, annoying dude. Take a shot for he number of times he mentions he’s gay. WE KNOW. Also, he openly ogles other men in front of his husband?
I don’t know, this book just seems unnecessary. Literally nobody asked for this. Patrick mentions more than once that he runs a successful podcast. Sorry Pat, but that doesn’t make you the celebrity you so clearly want to be.
I got this book for free bc I went to the live show. I will now be sticking it in a free little library where it will most likely stay forever because, again, Patrick is just not as famous and important as he thinks he is.
It was written so ANNOYINGLY. I get that this was a purposeful decision (bad grammar, lots of !!!! and ???? and choppy sentences) but it made it really hard to read.
If anything, I actually like Patrick less after reading this. He’s an open pathological liar, so when he says “this 100% happened” more than once after a story, I don’t know if I believe him. He seems like a fame-hungry, greedy, annoying dude. Take a shot for he number of times he mentions he’s gay. WE KNOW. Also, he openly ogles other men in front of his husband?
I don’t know, this book just seems unnecessary. Literally nobody asked for this. Patrick mentions more than once that he runs a successful podcast. Sorry Pat, but that doesn’t make you the celebrity you so clearly want to be.
I got this book for free bc I went to the live show. I will now be sticking it in a free little library where it will most likely stay forever because, again, Patrick is just not as famous and important as he thinks he is.
December 31, 2023
I went to Patrick’s Traveling Book Party and got to hear him read a chapter from his book. It was hilarious and well-written! I cannot wait to read the whole book when it comes out!
Update-I just finished the book and it was great! I don’t read a lot of memoirs and they are usually a struggle for me but I read this quickly and laughed a lot. :)
Update-I just finished the book and it was great! I don’t read a lot of memoirs and they are usually a struggle for me but I read this quickly and laughed a lot. :)
October 5, 2023
I just received this book because I went to a book party way back in February. When I bought the tickets it sounded like we were going to get a copy at the show. I received it in September. I tried to sit down and read it and enjoy it, but after everything has come to light about Patrick’s true character, I’m just sad. I’ve been duped, Steve.
November 5, 2023
Oh man, this was… not good. The stories were repetitive, the grammar was poor and the over-sexualizing of all men gets old.
Patrick was a good podcaster, but even that’s hit a Rocky patch and it’s sounding like his behavior is pretty awful. His book had potential at the beginning but quickly exhausted me & I had to fly through it quickly so I could just be done with it.
Nothing new here.
Patrick was a good podcaster, but even that’s hit a Rocky patch and it’s sounding like his behavior is pretty awful. His book had potential at the beginning but quickly exhausted me & I had to fly through it quickly so I could just be done with it.
Nothing new here.
April 25, 2023
Hilarious! Attending a book reading and it was so entertaining and just plain funny!
April 25, 2023
I love what I’ve read/heard so far and cannot wait to read the rest after it’s released!
October 24, 2023
I really wish I liked this book more than I did. I am a fan of True Crime Obsessed, I listen to it as each new episode comes out. I don't subscribe to the Patreon, and I definitely didn't buy this book (I got it from the library).
That all being said, I trudged through this book. It was a Herculean effort for me. I just... Patrick just really rubbed me the wrong way. While I'm thrilled for anyone who finds success doing something they loved, and I'm a huge fan of autobiographical books, this one just didn't hit for me.
It definitely was a lot of words just for him to tell us how GREAT he is and how WONDERFUL and oh did I mention he's RICH and SO FUNNY!!! I really wish the book had been more. More story perhaps? More tidbits of his life that he hadn't already told us on the podcast? I'm not sure.
But I will give it a solid 2 stars.
That all being said, I trudged through this book. It was a Herculean effort for me. I just... Patrick just really rubbed me the wrong way. While I'm thrilled for anyone who finds success doing something they loved, and I'm a huge fan of autobiographical books, this one just didn't hit for me.
It definitely was a lot of words just for him to tell us how GREAT he is and how WONDERFUL and oh did I mention he's RICH and SO FUNNY!!! I really wish the book had been more. More story perhaps? More tidbits of his life that he hadn't already told us on the podcast? I'm not sure.
But I will give it a solid 2 stars.
October 15, 2023
I truly enjoyed this book. I was nervous since I have been a fan of the podcast that it would disappoint. I enjoyed reading the details of the home daycare Patrick frequently mentions on the podcast. The chapter about his mother is honest and so sweet. It’s hard to learn things that are coming out about Patrick but the book was a delight to read and I laughed a lot.
October 23, 2023
The story of a man so obsessed with himself he lacks any self awareness or accountability and thinks fame is more important than friendships and treating people well.
April 25, 2023
Patrick is a natural (and hilarious!) story teller!
November 5, 2023
Zero stars is not an option. The book is a self-congratulatory mess with stories that most listeners of his podcast will have already heard.
November 9, 2023
A garbage book written by a garbage human. Save yourself the time. If you’ve ever listened to the podcast, you’ve basically heard the book.
June 2, 2024
I swear I’m not just giving it 5 stars because I got it signed by Patrick at the Chicago Meet and Greet. I also swear that I didn’t laugh out loud just because Patrick said he hoped it would. I actually laughed so hard that my neighbors looked over at me with concern.
When I listen to roughly 5 episodes of TCO a week (I’m all caught up on the regular feed, but just joined the Lady Pates at the Level 5), Patrick’s voice just lives in my head constantly. So, it was soooo easy to practically hear him read this to me as if he were also suntanning in my backyard and maybe a nice buttery Chardonnay to accompany us both. But this really did give some great insight to the world of Patrick Hinds and context to some of those deep cut inside jokes between him and Gillian.
Hero bells for you, Patrick.
When I listen to roughly 5 episodes of TCO a week (I’m all caught up on the regular feed, but just joined the Lady Pates at the Level 5), Patrick’s voice just lives in my head constantly. So, it was soooo easy to practically hear him read this to me as if he were also suntanning in my backyard and maybe a nice buttery Chardonnay to accompany us both. But this really did give some great insight to the world of Patrick Hinds and context to some of those deep cut inside jokes between him and Gillian.
Hero bells for you, Patrick.
January 10, 2024
I really liked this book. It was an easy read by someone I very much enjoy. I could hear Patrick narrating it and all the screams 😂 that’s what made the book so enjoyable, being able to hear his voice throughout the whole thing. As someone who reads a lot of books, you can tell this is his first book and that he is not an experienced novel writer. But that’s okay, and it works in this instance. Love Patrick. Love TCO.
April 25, 2023
I absolutely cannot wait to read this book! Patrick is one of my favorite people, and I am excited to learn more about his life. At all times respectful, mindful, and with an eye towards education, Patrick brings so much joy and laughter to our lives through his podcasts (even if she doesn't go here anymore. Iykyk) Welcoming, open and sincere, Patrick is the best friend of millions of true crime listeners.
October 8, 2023
Longtime TCO listener, I've been a patreon member for years and I received this book for free after attending a live TCO show in New York. That being said, my first reaction to hearing about this book was "who asked for that?". Patrick has generally seemed to be an open book on the podcast, but this book was far too self congratulatory for my liking. Gillian helps even out Patrick's over the top demeanor and brings him back to earth when he wont stop on the pod, and I think his story could have used some dampening down by the editors. Not for me.
November 15, 2023
Very cute and Very gay!!!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 405 reviews