Pretty

by Jillian Lauren

An electrifying debut novel from the New York Times bestselling author of Some Girls . Bebe Baker is an ex-stripper, ex-Christian, ex-drug addict, ex-pretty girl. It's been one year since the car accident that killed her boyfriend left her scarred and shaken. Flanked by an eccentric posse of friends, she is serving out a self-imposed sentence at a halfway house, while trying to finish cosmetology school. Amid the rampant diagnoses, over-medication, compulsive eating, and acrylic nails of Los Angeles, Bebe looks for something to believe in before something--her past, the dangerously magnetic men in her life, her own bad choices--knocks her off course again.

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, Young Adult, Dark, Drugs, Addiction, Audiobook

288 pages, Paperback

First published August 30, 2011

About the author

Jillian is the author of the USA Today bestseller, BEHOLD THE MONSTER: Confronting America's Most Prolific Serial Killer, EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED, and the New York Times bestselling memoir, SOME GIRLS: My Life in a Harem, and the novel, PRETTY.

BEHOLD THE MONSTER: CONFRONTING AMERICA'S MOST PROLIFIC SERIAL KILLER: New York Times bestselling author and lead of the Starz docuseries, Confronting a Serial Killer, Jillian Lauren delivers the harrowing report of her unusual relationship with a psychopath. But this is more than a deep dive into the actions of Samuel Little. Lauren's riveting and emotional accounts reveal the women who were lost to cold files, giving Little's victims a chance to have their stories heard for the first time.


SOME GIRLS, chronicles Jillian's time spent in the harem of the Prince of Brunei, and has been translated into eighteen languages.

EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED is the story of Jillian's most radical act - learning the steadying power of love when she and her rock star husband adopt an Ethiopian child with special needs.

Jillian has an MFA in Creative Writing from Antioch University. Her writing has appeared in The Paris Review, The New York Times, Vanity Fair, Los Angeles Magazine, Elle, Flaunt Magazine, The Rumpus, The Nervous Breakdown, Salon, and many other publications. Her work has been widely anthologized, including in The Moth Anthology and True Tales of Lust and Love.

Jillian is a regular storyteller with The Moth and performs at spoken word and storytelling events across the country. She did a Tedx talk at Chapman University in 2014. She has been interviewed on The View, Good Morning America and Howard Stern, to name a few.

She blogs at Today Moms on MSNBC, The Huffington Post and JillianLauren.com, which was named a top 100 mom blog of 2012 by Babble Magazine.

Jillian is married to Scott Shriner, the bass player for Weezer. They live in Los Angeles with their son.

Reviews

[❤︎ ⸆⸉ Chelsea. · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this because 'Some girls' wasn't what I expected and I wanted to give Jillian Lauren a second chance - I won't be reading anything else she writes. This book is about Bebe (Beth) & her delusional life in a half-way house, beauty school and sobriety while she dates a psycho. So fucking stupid. There's a little talk of God, drugs, and her obviously selective memories.... IDK I liked that she for the most part doesn't give into her old habits of drugging and stripping but overall - getting knocked up by an insane person and keeping it is retarded.

But I guess Jillian didn't want to write TWO books about a drugging ex-stripper who ends up pregnant and gets an abortion. To be a little different she had this one keep her baby. I wouldn't tell anyone to read either of Jillian's work.

[Audacia Ray · Rating 4 out of 5]

Disclaimers up front: Jillian is a pal of mine who has performed at my reading series, and she had her publisher send me a copy of her book.

I really enjoyed Pretty and look forward to reading more fiction from Jillian. The prose is careful and glittery, with the weight of bad decisions and challenging life stuff all over the place. I love that the shitty and wild things have already happened to the main character, Bebe. The book isn't about partying, it's about what happens next, after you wake up with scars and try to figure out how to live your life.

[Dan Gibas · Rating 1 out of 5]

The summary on the back of the book made it sound like it was going to be the second coming of Invisible Monsters, but it was so tedious to read that I gave up about 80 pages into it because I just didn't feel any sympathy for the main character and had no desire to find out how it was going to end

[Eye-shuh · Rating 2 out of 5]

Eh...it was OK. It was interesting. There is a lot of unnecessary repetitiveness that makes me think that either the author mistakenly thought that would be good to add to the experience of the book basically being the main character's train of thought or she just isn't that great of an author yet and should have had a bit more practice before getting published. It's the kind of book that's suppose to seem unpolished but it's clear the author didn't do that on purpose, she just didn't get the writing quite right. Or at least, it's not done with any finesse.

The story itself is the interesting part and a couple of the characters make it worth sticking around to the end. There are quite a few boring bits that are easily skipped over; this is especially true for some of her remembered "flashback" moments. Some of them matter in a "how did she get to this point" kind of way but a lot of them are just pointless filler.

The ending was weak which was the real disappointment because a strong ending really could have saved the book for me. It was too rushed to be very meaningful.

I will probably watch this author. I hope she writes more, because I think she has an interesting writing style that could be very gripping. She's just not there yet and this book really shows that.

[Knitpurlgurl · Rating 2 out of 5]

Pretty is the story of Bebe (Beth) Baker. Bebe, raised by an alcoholic mother, whose father, an alcoholic jazz musician, dies while she is very young, meets Aaron, a confident trumpet player in a jazz band and leaves her town of Toledo, OH behind to follow him to California. While living in LA, a speedbump on the way to San Francisco, Bebe takes a job as an exotic dancer and becomes an alcoholic/addict. After a fight with Aaron in a bar, the two of them, wasted, get in the car and end up in a motor vehicle accident which leaves Aaron in a coma. Eventually, Aaron's brain activity has ceased and his mother consents to pull the plug. Vowing that she will never talk to God again, Bebe is left to start anew.

Bebe ends up at a state-sponsored halfway house, Serenity, where she lives with other clean and sober women who are trying to put the pieces of their lives back together. While living at Serenity, Bebe and her roommate, Violet, receive training at Moda Beauty Academy to become cosmetologists. Although Bebe is less than enthusiastic about her training, she looks at it as a step in her journey of sobriety. During this time, Bebe becomes involved with a man from the men's Serenity halfway house, Jake, who is an ex-marine, recovering addict, and schizophrenic who occasionally thinks he's Jesus.

With her boyfriend off his meds and now in a psychiatric ward, pregnant, about to lose her only real home, and a bad influence from her past trying to wedge his way into her 'now,' Bebe finds herself having to make some tough choices. Does she look to her future? Does she reach out to someone from her past? Does she stay clean and sober or let it slide away along with her pain? As Bebe explores these questions, the story comes to it's climax and Bebe realizes, in the Moda supply closet, that life goes on. That there is a future for her. And that maybe for the first time in her life, she is seeing things clearly.

I found the plot and characters to be predictable. I thought the story lacked any real depth. That's not to say that there wasn't sufficent grit. I think it had great potential to be a good story, but wasn't realized in this abridged context. I would've like to see Lauren form the characters a tad more, give them more depth than a two sentence description of the character's background. -Especially since Vi & Bebe are such good friends and then there's Buck and Javi. I'd have liked to read more of their stories. I would have liked to read why when Bebe seems so numb and disconnected from life, that she has these friends. Like I said, the story has terrific potential, but it left me feeling like I read an abridged version of a book. Also, I'm not entirely convinced by the Jake storyline. It just doesn't fit well in the book.

[Quincy Small · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think to enjoy this book you have to be patient, appreciate quirkiness, and also relate to having been in a rut in your life where you look around and ask yourself, “is this it?!”

Favorite moment of the book that had me LOLing:

“You know I like you, Beth, but you have committed some very serious infractions here. Do you have an explanation for why you stayed out all night, violating your curfew and making your friends sick with worry? I’ve already called the police and reported you as a missing person.”

“Not far off the mark, I guess. But I hope to find myself soon.”

[Susan · Rating 1 out of 5]

At first, I thought this would be good. The beginning was gripping and laid groundwork for an intriguing plot. A car accident, a death, drug addiction, guilt, rehab, trauma.

But, cut to present day, the main character is a pick-me "I'm so damaged" recovering addict who is in cosmetology school and a halfway house and ungrateful for every damn second of it. She's dating a delusional man who literally thinks he's Jesus, and she has a quirky nonsensical mantra that she repeats in her head all day. She's not like other girls. She’s constantly, embarrassingly, telling the reader what a Bad Ass she is.

This was a shallow, sanitized version of addiction recovery and mental health issues. This is written for white women to read on the beach and feel edgy. It tried to get raw towards the end, but it was too late. I already knew it was going to get tied up with a big squeaky clean bow. It didn’t for a second ring true. The side characters were all stock stereotypes ("I'm a sad goth!" "I'm a sassy gay dude!" "I'm a butch lesbian! Named Buck!") who had absolutely no development or purpose but to swoop in for the protagonist when needed.

[Stephanie Benson · Rating 2 out of 5]

*Loud sigh* 🤦🏼‍♀️ I honestly don't even know where to start. It's not that the writing was horrible because it wasn't, I think this just isn't my type of novel. Recovering drug addicts in half way houses working their way through cosmetology school dating people who literally think they are Jesus just isn't my cup of tea 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really, I think I would rate this more of a 3.5. This book was different. I actually really liked the writing, I think Jillian Lauren is a really great writer, but I don't know that the subject intrigued me as much as I thought it would. Parts of it were a little less interesting a little harder to get through, but overall, I didn't hate it.

[Deborah · Rating 5 out of 5]

"There's a blaze of light in every word

It doesn't matter which you heard

The holy or the broken Hallelujah"

Leonard Cohen






Jillian Lauren begins her brilliant novel with this gorgeous, well-known refrain, then she takes that Hallelujah and sings it as her story like a bird whose heart thumps to break through its throat. This is a magnificent book. It will take you through every emotion you have and some you may not have known you had. Lauren is a wise woman with a truth to tell that will set you free of strings and things that may have tangled you up. If you get this book, prepare to sit with it alone until the experience is over, and then email me, you'll want to talk.




Here is the story of the agony of a life held hostage by lost love. Bebe learns early in life that all that matters is love, and when love is gone (in the form of her drunken father's death) hardly anything else makes life worth living. There's an empty place he's left and the earth-shattering pain around it won't stop.



When Bebe becomes a pretty young adult, she is inevitably drawn into a disastrous relationship with a jazz musician similiar to her father. She loses herself with him in drink and drugs, and their life spins out of control in a fatal car accident which kills him and leaves her broken physically, emotionally and psychologically.



It is Bebe's story of survival and the savage battle for sobriety she fights that Lauren tells us in "Pretty." Having landed in LA with her boyfriend before his death, Bebe's scars, both physical and emotional, now leave her decidedly not pretty in a place mostly concerned with that image! She gut-toughs it out thorough cosmotology/beauty school as she tries to find her way to another life, free from emptiness and pain.



This is a blazing, unpretty, fiercely honest look into the heart of darkness; the soul of a spiritually, heart broken young woman who believes she has nothing to live for. Jillian kicks away all the toys when she uncovers the raw emotions and honest feelings of recovering addicts. But, she does it with such humor and panache it makes one laugh with joy when her characters "win" the smallest of victories, even when they do it on the wrong side of "right."




Lauren's use of the redemption of Jesus for the lost, and of people for one another is powerful in her novel. She writes of it grounded in reality, and with humor, irony, insights into humanity, and with hope. It's a magnificent tribute, and a characterization of the truth of spiritual health and power.



Light plays a large part in "Pretty," and this metaphor lends depth to the novel and enjoyment to the reader as it's used to work through Bebe's different stages of awareness and well-being. Just a brilliant mechanism in Jillian's hands. We are constantly made aware of things coming full circle through her humor, as well. I had a great time reading this book.




This is a very likeable novel. It's fluid, profound, filled with quirky, irreverent, loveable characters who are light-hearted, yet, deeply wounded at the same time. It's a grand story of healing. It's a story of light and enlightenment, a story of lost and found love, and restored faith. There are messages here from each of the characters.




I found a message of hope here for the many who wonder why they should take another step, another day, on this side of life. I'm a forever fan of Jillian Lauren. No wonder her name was so big on her book cover!

[Leah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Pretty is a novel that is hard to define. It doesn’t seem to really be able to place itself in any kind of genre, at least not one I read so I presume that that probably makes it literary fiction. It’s not a teenage read, it’s not really Chick Lit… so I think it’s trying to be a literary novel. It’s not a pretty novel, either. Here there are no pies in the sky, no happily ever after, just a girl struggling to get her life together after her boyfriend dies in a drug-fuelled car crash. Bebe is an ex-lot-of-things. But now she’s clean and sober, trying to get through Cosmetology school (hair-dressing/make-up, that kind of thing) and trying to not fall off any of the wagons she’s so precariously been balanced on for a year, since the accident.

I admit, I was immediately intrigued by the novel and the opening chapter where Bebe tells us how Aaron died was both tragic and sad and I was interested to know how it would go from there – I don’t read many books about drug addicts/strippers and I was intrigued as to where Lauren would take Bebe’s story. As it is, we pick up a year later as I’ve said above. I found the novel hard-going. It’s not a pleasing read. It’s not a book where I get to the end and find myself smiling. It’s a difficult novel, hard to swallow, even harder to read about. I have no idea what it’s like to have a drug addiction, what it is to crave alcohol and to know that someone like Bebe, like all the girls in her halfway house, are all struggling every day to stay clean made me sad. Some say I have an idealistic view of the world – I wouldn’t even know where to buy drugs, never mind anything else and all I felt while reading the novel was sadness. For all the people who aren’t lucky enough to have good parents like I have, that despite Pretty being fiction, there are hundreds, thousands even, of people out there like Bebe and books like this do bring it home that the world isn’t perfect.

I did struggle to finish the book. Bebe’s life was just really, incredibly depressing, incredibly sad and mainly I read books to make myself happy, to get a happy ever after and whilst I knew what I was reading about when I started reading it, I truly didn’t expect it to be as sad as it was. It’s a brilliantly written novel, although the amount of Cosmetology lessons bordered on boring after a while, but it is an incurably sad novel and I did have to force myself to finish it, skimming the pages on my way to the end because I just couldn’t cope with Bebe’s horrible life. It was as if the novel – and by extension Bebe herself – had no hope. There was no light seemingly at the end of Bebe’s tunnel. I applaud Jillian Lauren for writing the novel and there will be loads of people who do love the book and are able to connect to the characters and perhaps see the book for what it really is, but I prefer my books to be a tad lighter, to be a tad happier. Pretty is not a pretty novel, but it is very well written and tells the tale of a very difficult subject. I’m just not its target audience.

[Caitlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I was a little girl I used to tell people that I wanted to be an adventuress when I grew up. I'll admit that I was influenced by a Marlene Dietrich movie - Morocco (1930) - in which she plays a night club singer (Amy) who falls in love with Gary Cooper's character (Tom), a private in the French Foreign Legion. Although she is engaged to Adolphe Menjou's character (La Bessiere - a wealthy Frenchman), Amy realizes at the end of the film that she is truly in love with Tom. The film ends with her walking off into the desert, following the French Foreign Legion. Directed by Josef Sternberg, this film and Dietrich's character struck me as having all of the doomed romance a girl could ever want. Later there was Lady Brett Ashley (The Sun Also Rises), Greta Garbo in The Green Hat and Camille, and any number of other women who made unconventional choices in search of love and adventure.

Later in life I rethought these women as role models. I still love the notion of an unconventional life filled with risk-taking, but the consequences of certain kinds of risks seem stark and uncompromising. What happens to Amy in the desert in her high heels and cocktail dress? Both the Garbo characters end up dead and Lady Brett Ashley becomes ever less appealing as you re-read the book in adulthood. It's hard to make unconventional choices and not end up crazy, dead, or alone with a lot of cats for company.

Ms. Lauren's first novel, Pretty, is much in keeping with this tradition, although as it plays out in its more modern form. Reminiscent in ways of Prozac Nation, in today's world we are more easily confronted with the reality of the aftermath of a life of adventure. Sure, following the sexy jazz musician out of the club, onto the tour bus, and into the night is all about adventure, but just as the aftermath of the other imagined adventures in my fantasy life is suboptimal, Bebe's aftermath is equally fraught with the consequence of poor choices.

For all its consequences played out across the novel, Pretty manages to be surprisingly hopeful. You can learn to make better choices or at least to live with the consequences of the risks you take - regret optional. Adventure can be found in many different places and men don't always have to be unavailable and bad for you. I liked Bebe, flaws and all, and I liked her story. As with the other fictional ladies I admired she takes her chances and isn't afraid to pay the toll, but best of all is that she is equally unafraid to face life on the other side of the risks.

Ms. Lauren has things to say and says them without apology or cliche. She can write. Highly recommended.

[Candice · Rating 3 out of 5]

Snappy dialogue and clear individual and entertaining voices of her supporting characters. I suppose this is the "new" lost generation, a story of redemption among young-ish female addicts who are trying to find their way out of caged helplessness to meaning. She does a good job of painting a bleak yet ironically humorous observant picture of her transition from detached depression to hope. Fast read. Now I'm curious of her other novel, "Some Girls."

[Tonya Chiarodo · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh. I skimmed this book like a pro. Writing about mental health and alcoholism was intriguing but I felt there wasn't enough, enough of what I'm not sure. The book was just lacking. I kept wondering what would happen to Bebe. I obviously cared enough to finish the book but wish that I stopped reading it when I first felt I should. Once I get more than a few pages in my book guilt sets in and I finish unless it's that bad. Since i forced myself to finish, I'll give it two stars.

[Lesley Peck · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just received the book yesterday. UPS was having issues. :( But I did start reading it and am about half way through. All I can say is WOW. This book is riveting. It's just amazing. I find it hard to put into words just how I feel. It seems very real. You find yourself wanting Bebe to do better and overcome. Truly emotional.

[Julia Lange · Rating 2 out of 5]

I abandoned this book and I’m not sorry. As much hope as I had for it, the book didn’t seem to have much of a plot and it seemed like it has been done time and time again. The redeeming factor that kept me going as far as I did (about 60-70% through) is that the author has a way with words. This isn’t a book I’d recommend personally.

[M · Rating 2 out of 5]

Honestly, it took me forever to get through this book because I kept getting bored. Bebe is a compelling character, but the plot has no depth. I found myself skipping pages just to find out that I didn’t really miss anything.

[Amanda Peterson · Rating 2 out of 5]

The concept of an addict falling off the wagon can be compelling depending on the writer. There were moments I could follow this story well, then there were moments I could not. Maybe it is due to the characters or could be the world of the writer. Kind of disappointed.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I chose this book specifically because Julia Whelan is the narrator, and she does not disappoint. I've accumulated a vast collection of her books, and for good reason – she's always pitch-perfect. This was my first book by Jillian Lauren, but hopefully it won't be my last. She weaves a gripping and raw tale of Bebe Baker's struggles with her past, her search for belief and her journey towards redemption. With a cast of eccentric characters, drama and a winner of a narrative, “Pretty” held my attention and never let go. This heartwrenching plot follows Bebe as she tries to rebuild her life after a personal tragedy. With the attempted help of her peculiar friends, she struggles to find her place in society. Amid the chaos in the city of lost angels, she searches for something to believe in before her past is repeated. Highly recommended and worth a credit, however I snagged it during Audible's recent sale. Epic, indeed!

✍️🗣️🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟✍️🗣️

[Therese · Rating 4 out of 5]

Books let you become the people you're never going to be. This book let me be a person I'd never want to be. Bebe isn't special, besides being a little pretty. She is exactly who a person who's never had addiction or mental problems would imagine would be living in a halfway house, knocked up by a loser boyfriend, going to beauty school. She's kind of a loser, she makes terrible decisions and isn't particularly smart, funny or gutsy. But I liked her. I liked being with her in her terribly unimpressive life. I learned what she tells herself and why she does what she does. I learned she was good, without being anyone's hero. It was a quiet voyage of empathy for the sort of person I'm usually pretty judgy of. I appreciated it.

[Sacha Makkinga · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this one as it is narrated by Julia Whelan, whenever I'm without a book to read, I find one that she or January LaVoy have read and I'm happy!

Bebe has had a rough life. She is a recovering addict, an ex-stripper. When her boyfriend dies in a car accident, Bebe tries to find a way forward. She lives in a half-way house with other addicts with acronyms after their names tallying their various mental illnesses. Bebe is almost at the end of her 12 month cosmetology school training. Her social worker wonders if she'll be able to follow through or if Bebe has a fear of success.

It was a gritty story of women and men living at the fringes. I loved the family Bebe cobbled together between women from her half way house and the people in her program. I think it would make a good movie!

[Sarah · Rating 1 out of 5]

I so wanted this to be good, but it's not. I don't think the author realised that she can write more than 1 book. Instead her main character has seen and done it all. The bad, the worse and the horrible. The main character sounded like she was trying to be bad-arse, but I found her grating and annoying. I gave it a good go, but at just over half way I disconnected and couldn't care less what happened in the story, so I gave up.. it's going back to the 2nd hand book store I got it from.
I hope Jillians writing gets better as she goes along, but I can't say I would be rushing out to find out.

[Katyak79 · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ms. Lauren writes very well and this book checks a lot of boxes for me, and I should have loved it but for some reason I didn't. I can't quite put my finger on why, but there's just something here that didn't quite do it for me. Maybe it's the fact that i found Bebe's life before to be much more interesting than her current situation, and just didn't find the whole thing with Jake to be very believable. This aside, I do want to read the author's other books.

[Maureen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book will probably appeal to a specific reader and is definitely not a one size fits all. It may be too dark, dismal, and depressing for some readers. However, anyone who has felt the grip of addiction will have a silent and painful understanding of this book.

[Theresa Ivy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jillian Lauren did a great job with the characters and how you could really see and almost smell them.
This story is one I’ve never been apart of but enjoyed reading about, especially how she fought to not be an addict anymore.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would give this one a 3.5, it was a really quick read, but just felt like a not as great version of Girl in Pieces. The story line has a really somber mood without much lightness to it, but is engaging despite that.

[Pam Smoot · Rating 3 out of 5]

IT was just ok.

[Robyn Martin · Rating 3 out of 5]

C+. Audible

[Martha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting read, except it is just one long narrative in this person's life.

[Sara · Rating 1 out of 5]

Meh. Should’ve abandoned this one. The blurb on the back of the book sounded intriguing, but it wasn’t worth my time reading beyond that.