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Baby's First Book of Seriously Fucked-Up Shit
From an orgy between God, Satan, Adam and Eve to beauty pageants for fetuses. From a giant human-absorbing tongue to a place where God is in the eyes of the psychopathic. This is a party at the furthest limits of human decency and cruelty. Robert Devereaux is your host but watch out, he's spiked the punch with drugs, sex, and dismemberment. Deadite Press is proud to present ten stories of the strange, the gross, and the just plain fucked up from one of the most original voices in horror - Robert Devereaux.
168 pages, Paperback
First published March 14, 2011
12 people are currently reading
355 people want to read
About the author
Robert Devereaux
36 books75 followersRobert Devereaux made his professional debut in Pulphouse magazine in the late 1980's, attended the 1990 Clarion West Writers Workshop, and soon placed stories in such major venues as Crank!, Weird Tales, and Dennis Etchison's anthology MetaHorror.
Two of his stories made the final ballot for the Bram Stoker and World Fantasy Awards. Robert has a well-deserved reputation as an author who pushes every envelope, though he would claim, with a stage actor's assurance, that as long as one's writing illuminates characters in all their kinks, quirks, kindnesses, and extremes, the imagination must be free to explore nasty places as well as nice, or what's the point?
His first novel Deadweight interweaves a King-like plot, penile implants, and splatterpunk extremes of sex and violence, managing all the while to be a sensitive, spot-on portrayal of an abused woman incapable of relinquishing her role as victim.
Walking Wounded, his next novel, explores the dilemma of a good woman able to heal with her hands, but also to harm even unto death, whose discovery that her husband is cheating on her moves her, against her every humane impulse, to activate his Huntington's Disease and take him down.
Robert went on to shock the bluenoses with Santa Steps Out, in which Santa Claus's gradual recall of his prior existence as Pan leads to an affair with the Tooth Fairy, while a voyeuristic Easter Bunny tries to twitch and wiggle his way into Mrs. Claus's good graces. Santa Steps Out, which won much praise for its mythological underpinnings and the breathtaking sweep of its transgressions, also had the honor of being banned in that cultural backwater of intolerance and censoriousness known as Cincinnati.
Robert's fourth novel, Caliban, borrows a page from John Gardner's Grendel to retell Shakespeare's Tempest through Caliban's eyes.
Robert lives in sunny northern Colorado with the delightful Victoria and their melodious cat Sigfried, making up stuff that tickles his fancy and, he hopes, those of his readers.
Two of his stories made the final ballot for the Bram Stoker and World Fantasy Awards. Robert has a well-deserved reputation as an author who pushes every envelope, though he would claim, with a stage actor's assurance, that as long as one's writing illuminates characters in all their kinks, quirks, kindnesses, and extremes, the imagination must be free to explore nasty places as well as nice, or what's the point?
His first novel Deadweight interweaves a King-like plot, penile implants, and splatterpunk extremes of sex and violence, managing all the while to be a sensitive, spot-on portrayal of an abused woman incapable of relinquishing her role as victim.
Walking Wounded, his next novel, explores the dilemma of a good woman able to heal with her hands, but also to harm even unto death, whose discovery that her husband is cheating on her moves her, against her every humane impulse, to activate his Huntington's Disease and take him down.
Robert went on to shock the bluenoses with Santa Steps Out, in which Santa Claus's gradual recall of his prior existence as Pan leads to an affair with the Tooth Fairy, while a voyeuristic Easter Bunny tries to twitch and wiggle his way into Mrs. Claus's good graces. Santa Steps Out, which won much praise for its mythological underpinnings and the breathtaking sweep of its transgressions, also had the honor of being banned in that cultural backwater of intolerance and censoriousness known as Cincinnati.
Robert's fourth novel, Caliban, borrows a page from John Gardner's Grendel to retell Shakespeare's Tempest through Caliban's eyes.
Robert lives in sunny northern Colorado with the delightful Victoria and their melodious cat Sigfried, making up stuff that tickles his fancy and, he hopes, those of his readers.
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
April 10, 2023
Trash, but FUN trash, and honestly much better than I expected to be. Also I learned a new word “unencunted”
I was a bit dissatisfied with the way Clap If You Believe just kind of …ends.
More weird than fucked up in my opinion (except for the Beauty Pageant story, that one was fucked up)
I was a bit dissatisfied with the way Clap If You Believe just kind of …ends.
More weird than fucked up in my opinion (except for the Beauty Pageant story, that one was fucked up)
October 7, 2013
Robert Devereaux approaches some very messed up concepts with the words of a poet.
October 12, 2022
This one was better than I expected, for short stories they are very well written and the audible narration is great!
July 24, 2011
I found Robert Deveraux's new short story collection "Baby's First Book of Seriously Fucked-Up Shit" by way of horror master Brian Keene's move to Deadite Press publishing. Deadite is making a big push into the horror niche market and Deveraux is deffinitly one of their spotlight writers. I purchased the book on title alone, how could you not?
Deveraux's writing chops are deffinitly there. His mind is a dark and twisted place when left to run wild. Some of the places he explores in this ten story collection are truely bizzare. The plots are genius, yet most seem to end abruptly.
That is where my contentions with the book lies. Nearly every story starts off brilliant and well developed. Practically every story could have been developed further into a more richer, fuller story. Yet the endings seem to just drop off suddenly and come to a quick end. This makes them seem somehow forced to conclusion. I felt there was more in the stories to be told.
The good outweighs the bad though and I intend to read Deveraux again. Given this is a short story collection and my first jaunt with the writer I feel the chops are deffinitly there for me to further enjoy. He has a reasonable catalog of full scale novels. Check out Robert Deveraux and the rest of the twisted minds at Deadite Press!
Deveraux's writing chops are deffinitly there. His mind is a dark and twisted place when left to run wild. Some of the places he explores in this ten story collection are truely bizzare. The plots are genius, yet most seem to end abruptly.
That is where my contentions with the book lies. Nearly every story starts off brilliant and well developed. Practically every story could have been developed further into a more richer, fuller story. Yet the endings seem to just drop off suddenly and come to a quick end. This makes them seem somehow forced to conclusion. I felt there was more in the stories to be told.
The good outweighs the bad though and I intend to read Deveraux again. Given this is a short story collection and my first jaunt with the writer I feel the chops are deffinitly there for me to further enjoy. He has a reasonable catalog of full scale novels. Check out Robert Deveraux and the rest of the twisted minds at Deadite Press!
November 14, 2014
Varias historias bastante buenas, sin embargo el final de éstas siempre deja la sensación de que fueron forzados, de que el autor pudo haberse extendido páginas y páginas hasta darle un buen acabado, lástima que no fuera así. A ratos bajaba mi kindle miraba hacia el horizonte y me preguntaba "¿por qué sigo leyendo esta clase de libros? pero luego lo retomaba y explotaba de risa.
February 17, 2020
Some of the pieces in this collection of short stories with controversial content are highly original and entertaining. Others, especially the last story, get bogged down in the writer's focus on language and therefore knock the reader out of the fictional dream. "Li'l Miss Ultrasound" is a brilliant satirical piece that explores the American obsession with female sexuality through the lens of a prenatal fashion show. "Clap If You Believe," the most literary of the selections, details a man's romantic relationship with a tiny fairy. One cannot refute this author's willingness to delve into taboo subject matter.
August 31, 2022
I can’t figure out this if I hate or love the title of this one. It did put me off on reading it for a while because…I don’t know why…
It has grown on me however mostly because it was really f’n good. Really f’n good.
The writing was crisp, stories paced perfectly and of course it had plenty of seriously fucked-up shit. Just the way I like it.
A carousel of cruelty, pizza topping cheek flesh, boobies - nature’s bounty, clown anatomy lessons, sexing Tink, melting strawberry popsicles, failed vulvectomy, and a bucket of crimson confetti.
Yep. Seriously fucked-up shit.
It has grown on me however mostly because it was really f’n good. Really f’n good.
The writing was crisp, stories paced perfectly and of course it had plenty of seriously fucked-up shit. Just the way I like it.
A carousel of cruelty, pizza topping cheek flesh, boobies - nature’s bounty, clown anatomy lessons, sexing Tink, melting strawberry popsicles, failed vulvectomy, and a bucket of crimson confetti.
Yep. Seriously fucked-up shit.
September 30, 2022
A wonderfully bizarre mix of erotica and violence
The narrator does an excellent job with this one
If you’re looking for a different experience the title says it all
I received a free review audiobook and voluntarily left this review
The narrator does an excellent job with this one
If you’re looking for a different experience the title says it all
I received a free review audiobook and voluntarily left this review
May 6, 2024
Same as I've said before, short stories either draw me straight in or I just cannot get past the first couple. I'm not crazy on the author's writing style, not entirely sure why honestly and some of the stories I just found hard to actually follow. DNF
June 6, 2021
Title says it all.
April 3, 2023
This sophomoric piece of garbage was so overshadowed by it's incessant, cliche, trashy romance novel writing style that any serious conveyance of "horror" was completely lost on me.
April 27, 2023
EROTiC • HORRiFYiNG • ViViD • iRREVERENTE
& WELL FUCKiN' WRiTTEN
Deveraux has a knack for DiRTY TOUGHTs and
the NAUGHTiEST of THiNGs. iF you made it past
the TiTLE you'll probably be o.k.
I'm savoring it so I'm not finished yet but wanted
to start reviewing it while it is fresh in my mind.
It's already one of my FAVORiTEs and I'm sure to
come back again.
Edoardo Ballerini's VOiCE performance makes it even better.
the Author takes you places that are uncomfortable
or that you shouldn't be only to veer to safety, although
he doesn't always change course and you are dashed on the rocks.
“Showdown at Stinking Springs” - A tall-tale faceoff in a dusty town. No guns drawn, just two seductive sex-slingers pitched against each other in a town due to be consumed in a series of libido-whipped firestorms.
“Clap If You Believe” - When Alex courts a winged pixie no taller than his index finger, it falls to her normal-sized parents to determine if he’s the right kind of weirdo to properly love and care for their daughter.
“Ridi, Bobo” - Clown noir told strictly in mime. A cheating wife, her suspicious husband, two young sons, and a weepy-faced detective spin this tragic tale of the Big Top.
“Lil’ Miss Ultrasound” - A beauty contest for third-trimester fetuses, ferocious competition among their pregnant moms, and a judge with a most peculiar perversion indeed.
“Bucky Goes to Church” - A young teen takes his revenge on a bullying town, only to receive an unexpected visit from God Almighty herself.
“Fructus in Eden” - Suppose Adam and Eve had been forgiven their first transgression. And their second transgression. This Edenic foursome might have been the result.
“One Flesh: A Cautionary Tale” - A savage tale loaded with unspeakable acts as a reincarnated - or so they believe - father-and-son pair spars over the choicest body parts of their widows.
“The Slobbering Tongue That Ate the Frightfully Huge Woman” - A story that pays homage to the B-movie schlock shown at '50s and '60s drive-ins. Climax: a human dildo at the Grand Canyon.
“Holy Fast, Holy Feast” - Gurus, zombies, and young folk trying to survive in downtown Montreal struggle in this metafictional stew of love, lust, and terror.
& WELL FUCKiN' WRiTTEN
Deveraux has a knack for DiRTY TOUGHTs and
the NAUGHTiEST of THiNGs. iF you made it past
the TiTLE you'll probably be o.k.
I'm savoring it so I'm not finished yet but wanted
to start reviewing it while it is fresh in my mind.
It's already one of my FAVORiTEs and I'm sure to
come back again.
Edoardo Ballerini's VOiCE performance makes it even better.
the Author takes you places that are uncomfortable
or that you shouldn't be only to veer to safety, although
he doesn't always change course and you are dashed on the rocks.
“Showdown at Stinking Springs” - A tall-tale faceoff in a dusty town. No guns drawn, just two seductive sex-slingers pitched against each other in a town due to be consumed in a series of libido-whipped firestorms.
“Clap If You Believe” - When Alex courts a winged pixie no taller than his index finger, it falls to her normal-sized parents to determine if he’s the right kind of weirdo to properly love and care for their daughter.
“Ridi, Bobo” - Clown noir told strictly in mime. A cheating wife, her suspicious husband, two young sons, and a weepy-faced detective spin this tragic tale of the Big Top.
“Lil’ Miss Ultrasound” - A beauty contest for third-trimester fetuses, ferocious competition among their pregnant moms, and a judge with a most peculiar perversion indeed.
“Bucky Goes to Church” - A young teen takes his revenge on a bullying town, only to receive an unexpected visit from God Almighty herself.
“Fructus in Eden” - Suppose Adam and Eve had been forgiven their first transgression. And their second transgression. This Edenic foursome might have been the result.
“One Flesh: A Cautionary Tale” - A savage tale loaded with unspeakable acts as a reincarnated - or so they believe - father-and-son pair spars over the choicest body parts of their widows.
“The Slobbering Tongue That Ate the Frightfully Huge Woman” - A story that pays homage to the B-movie schlock shown at '50s and '60s drive-ins. Climax: a human dildo at the Grand Canyon.
“Holy Fast, Holy Feast” - Gurus, zombies, and young folk trying to survive in downtown Montreal struggle in this metafictional stew of love, lust, and terror.
September 10, 2012
This book is hilarious.
Sexy cowboys and cowgirls having apocalyptic-scale super sex. An orgy in the garden of Eden. A b-movie style short featuring a giant woman and a massive tongue ;). Beauty pageants for foetuses...
Robert Devereaux is quite simply an awesome writer. I can't recommend this collection of short stories enough. I don't think there was a single one I didn't enjoy. From a cautionary tale featuring a father and son reborn into a single body, and still trying to maintain their relationships with the loves of their lives, through to a tale of true love featuring everybody's favourite fairy Tinkerbell, each has its own voice and charm.
The stand-out story of the bunch, for me, was probably "Ridi Bobo", a noir tale of clown love gone wrong that really hits the mark. So poignant, and full of black humour. It made me feel things I didn't think possible... Such a mix of emotion....
If you like your horror stories to be depraved and yet still make you laugh throughout then this is one for you. A wide variety of subject matters and execution, but all masterfully done, this book doesn't fail to live up to its exceptional title.
If you haven't purchased this book already... what the hell are you waiting for?! It's seriously effin good is what it is! Buy it! Buy it! Buy it now!
Sexy cowboys and cowgirls having apocalyptic-scale super sex. An orgy in the garden of Eden. A b-movie style short featuring a giant woman and a massive tongue ;). Beauty pageants for foetuses...
Robert Devereaux is quite simply an awesome writer. I can't recommend this collection of short stories enough. I don't think there was a single one I didn't enjoy. From a cautionary tale featuring a father and son reborn into a single body, and still trying to maintain their relationships with the loves of their lives, through to a tale of true love featuring everybody's favourite fairy Tinkerbell, each has its own voice and charm.
The stand-out story of the bunch, for me, was probably "Ridi Bobo", a noir tale of clown love gone wrong that really hits the mark. So poignant, and full of black humour. It made me feel things I didn't think possible... Such a mix of emotion....
If you like your horror stories to be depraved and yet still make you laugh throughout then this is one for you. A wide variety of subject matters and execution, but all masterfully done, this book doesn't fail to live up to its exceptional title.
If you haven't purchased this book already... what the hell are you waiting for?! It's seriously effin good is what it is! Buy it! Buy it! Buy it now!
July 29, 2012
This is a collection of short stories that are are all weird, and, as the title suggests, seriously fucked up. Stories vary from: two epitomes of sexual appeal fucking a town to dust, an prebirth fetal beauty pageant, a giant woman-devouring tongue, and other equally messed up, but entertaining stories. There is no decency or subtlety in this book, and it's awfully fun to see just how far it goes. There's a deep depravity within these pages that you won't find anywhere else.
Don't get me wrong, though, this isn't just a book of senseless shocks. These stories do have some interesting characters and plots. The stories are all really short, but you'll certainly like the characters for that length of time.
As with all Bizarro books, disregard any beliefs and realities, and be ready to go to whatever far-reaching places this book will take you.
Don't get me wrong, though, this isn't just a book of senseless shocks. These stories do have some interesting characters and plots. The stories are all really short, but you'll certainly like the characters for that length of time.
As with all Bizarro books, disregard any beliefs and realities, and be ready to go to whatever far-reaching places this book will take you.
August 9, 2011
Robert Devereaux is an author whose stories do not play by conventional norms. This book is a fine example of that. In this book you will find stories that range from 50's B-movie sci-fi to surreal psychological horror, to the just plain odd. The content in this book is quite graphic with scenes of sex and rampant violence throughout and may offend the most sensitive of readers. If you have a taste for the odd and nasty this book is for you.
Happy Reading!
Happy Reading!
June 18, 2013
This was a very strange book. It was a set of short stories tat were all a bit weird. The first one I enjoyed once I got used to how it was written, and the other one that stands out for me at least was the one with the fairy in it. I think the book is for older people, definitely not for younger readers, but if you like weird and strange you should give it a go.
March 2, 2013
Devereaux's one of those author's you're either going to hate or love. This collection of short stories is a wonderful representation of his abilities as an author to repulse you while stringing together some of the most beautiful passages put to paper.
June 2, 2011
This book was sick and fun. Loved, Loved, LOVED it!
Not a weak story in the bunch!
Not a weak story in the bunch!
July 27, 2012
The title explains it all! For the hardcore reader only!
September 28, 2014
review coming soon
May 10, 2011
As suggested by the title, these stories are messed-up. Review to come soon.
January 3, 2012
the book certainly lives up to it's title
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews