Ordinary People as Monks and Mystics: Lifestyles for Self-discovery

by Marsha Sinetar

An organizational psychologist looks at the stories of ordinary people who choose a solitary lifestyle to find wholeness and self actualization.

Genres: Spirituality, Psychology, Mysticism, Nonfiction, Self Help, Philosophy, Religion

182 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 1986

About the author

I began my professional life as a first-grade teacher, and quickly fell in love with the whole wide world of learning -- particularly learning how to learn, and how to love learning. Our favorite authors must share that love. My published biographical notes show that I moved through the ranks of public instruction- including administration, curriculum design, and more--, then followed the Divine prompt to start my own leadership firm -- mostly for the private sector, Fortune 500 types. I still serve in an advisory, ombudsman-"sounding board" fashion, still love that work, sensing that, in a way, we're somehow all just kids at heart, living in a lesson world, and learning our greater strengths, capacities, wisdom every day.

Writing developed as I matured. As did my pen-and-ink art, etchings, graphics and such. Although I have a good formal education, it's clear that when we love what we do -- be it parenting, truck driving, technology, theology, crafts, or cooking -- we'll learn what we need in surprising, often self-governing, intuitive ways. The older I get, the more I trust that "small, still voice" within to guide my own learning-- academic or otherwise.

Reviews

[Jennie Floyd · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book. This was actually the second time I read it, and I felt I understood it better this time. I have always been kind of a solitary person who prefers my own company to be in a group, and I enjoy living alone. This book tells me why, and helps me feel like that is perfectly normal for some people. It is uplifting and spiritually affirming. If you have been accused of being a "loner" all your life, you might want to read this book. It could be helpful in understanding why you enjoy being alone.

[MountainAshleah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a bit dated, but I enjoyed it, especially the final chapter. The study was, in my opinion, very flawed, especially with the selection of the so-called mystics. There were some LOL moments--particularly the "mystic" stay at home yoga-loving mom --but there were also some revealing moments on the nature of solitary individuals. Yes, we do not have to be extraordinary souls to achieve a level of inner peace/deep satisfaction with our quiet lives. For example, I gave up television 10+ years ago and don't miss it ever. I live without a dryer, doorbell, the latest gadgets, not even an electric coffee maker. Almost all of my clothes are found/Goodwill/long out of style--and I don't care. I thrive on books and nature, and I'm lucky enough to live in a completely natural environment. I do have a good job, but I'm not at all ambitious. Outside of work, I spend 99% of my free time completely alone.I have no children, partner, family etc. And yet I have no regrets or sadness or the ubiquitous depression. I don't say this because I'm so special, but because I absolutely am not. That's the point of this book, and I recommend it for anyone who has an interest in solitude/self awareness, etc.

[Ambrose Miles · Rating 4 out of 5]

I first read this book in the summer of 1986 just before entering seminary. I was a Third Order Franciscan (TSSF) in the Episcopal Church and married. Now having read the book again, and it seems completely different from the mindset wherein I read this book 38 years ago. No, I should say things are very different today. I am no longer married and have taken life vows as a professed monk in an Eastern Orthodox Monastery in upstate New York. 38 years ago I had a romantic view of life as a religious person as a monk, friar or someday, a mystic. Now I am a monk and hardly a mystic. None of what is said in Sinetar’s book is untrue, there are people living the life, but not in a monastery. I wanted to be one of those people, once, but that was not the trail on which I traveled. Here I am living amongst monks and dogs. Not a bad combination.

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this in the 1990s and was fascinated by the study Sinetar conducted. It reminded me of an abbreviated work like that done by the two social scientists who wrote "Cultural Creatives". I love the fact that people have the courage to live creatively sideways in this matrix-like culture. BRAVO!

[Staci Grimes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've finished this book, but I'm going to keep it close at hand. How lovely to read about others who are following intrinsically-inspired paths, however unconventional they may be.

[Mladen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not really keen on the idea of mysticism nor really any idea of transcending the self. That being said, this book has some pretty cool insights into the lives of people who decided to go beyond the norms of contemporary life, and how they perceive themselves. It doesn't matter if you agree with the author or not. This book served me as a nice tool for better understanding the people that aren't limited by the framework of social norms. I see why one would find solace from living in solitude but the religious element is, for me, dubious at best. Plus, who wouldn't want to try living in a cabin in the woods, totally isolated from society, at least for a while. Overall, a pretty cool read.

[Doranne Long · Rating 5 out of 5]

Worth reading and reading again every year; wonderful wisdom.

[David Zubl · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book will not appeal to everyone, but is applicable to anyone.

In it, the author describes lifestyles and - more importantly - mindsets involving social-transcendence (monks) and self-transcendence (mystics) that lead to “wholeness”.

Sinetar describes wholeness as similar to, but more than, authenticity. In addition to cultivating a deep honesty (with ourselves and others) regarding our unique self, it also involves identifying, befriending, and integrating all aspects of ourselves, including our shadows. In this aspect of personal growth and actualization, Sinetar echoes C.J. Jung, Fritz Perls (the father of gestalt psychology) and the ideas in Thomas Moore’s book, The Care of the Soul.

This is not a gimmicky book, with easy-to-follow steps to wholeness. Sinetar emphasizes (repeatedly) that meaningful growth towards actualization - the highest level of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs - not only is hard work, but takes time.. perhaps a lifetime. However, it’s also clear that with intention, courage, and creativity, anyone can embark on and make progress in this journey.

While Sinetar frequently uses Judeo-Christian allusions (such as “monks” and “mystics”) to illustrate the concepts she explores, she draws liberally on other spiritual traditions as well, in addition to the research and writings of psychologists. And she is very clear that actualization can be pursued by anyone, of any - or no - faith tradition.

With its focus on the interior journey to wholeness, and its acknowledgment of the time and effort required for progress, this book won’t appeal to everyone. And even among those who are interested in its message, not everyone will be in a place to act on its ideas. But anyone who feels an inner prompting to more fully inhabit and express their wholeness will likely encounter kindred spirits in these pages. If nothing else, they’ll know they aren’t alone, wherever they are on their journey.

[Tony · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thhought this was a pretty amazing book. It spoke to who I am and gave me new insights about other things. This is not a book about monks and mystics but a survey of them.

[Bpaul · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mediocre book, in that it didn't reach very far. But it was helpful to hand to my parents when I was living in a fire lookout.

[Valerie Gangas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank God this book was written. It explained so much and gave me a deeper understanding to why I am the way I am. Great read!

[Carlos · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don’t recall how this book came to my attention but I remember being intrigued by the idea of “ordinary” people acquiring the inner peace that seems to be only associated with monks and mystics. I also, crucially, did not pay attention to the subtitle of the book. While Sinetar is quite inclusive of the spiritual traditions that she includes in her discussions, she is firmly committed to placing the experiences of the people she writes about within a spiritual framework, even when they themselves would rather not do so. Perhaps unsurprisingly, considering I’m an atheist, this over-emphasis on spirituality is the thing that annoyed me the most about the book. The book starts out fine, with Sinetar recounting the lives of people who chose to take a step back from mainstream culture and follow a path they felt better addressed their needs. While some of these people were religious and interpreted this path in religious terms others simply sought solitude and a space for inner reflection. From here the book goes on to explore those people who felt they have experienced a transcendent calling, whom the author calls mystics, and tries to explore the historical and theological traditions of this mysticism. Finally, she ends the book with a series of techniques for allowing everyone to hear that “inner voice”. Perhaps someone less biased against spirituality will find the rest of book more useful but I was only able to enjoy her exploration of the reasons and strategies that people took to be truer to themselves even if it didn’t align with society’s expectations.

[Kathy Shimpock · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book looks at outliers - who live in ways that align with their moral values. These are the ordinary people who live as modern day monks, mystics and activists. Sinetar bases her work on long -term, case studies. Her research looks at the lives and psychological insights of those who have achieved "social transcendence" and "self-transcendence." Part One of the book focuses on "The Way of the Monk" and its aim toward stewardship. Part Two describes "The Way of the Mystic." Part Three details the insights the author has derived from her research which she calls "The Way of Wholeness." This is an important read for anyone who seeks to live a life in alignment with their vales but aren't quite sure how to do so.

[Nguyet Minh · Rating 3 out of 5]

Biết thêm 1 trường phái vốn khá quen thuộc với phái nam trong nhà như ba, như anh trai, những người thường cất lời về các nghi thức cúng bái theo truyền thống phật giáo với con mắt 'sao mà làm rường rà quá', họ có lẽ thuộc về nhóm "người huyền bí" - nhóm người đi theo "con đường" riêng, không bị gò bò dưới nguyên tắc nào của giáo hội, điều lệ, miển là họ thấy điều đó đúng và điều đó sẽ giúp cho họ tiến đến "Lẽ Phãi"(the truth). Cuốn sách này tương đối khó đọc vì rất nhập nhằng lồng ghép đa đạo giáo; Cơ Đốc, Hồi giáo, Tin Lành, Phật giáo, Đạo giáo,...
Vẫn chưa thể đọc lại lần 2.

[Andy Lind · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first part of the book about modern monks who are laity was excellent. The simple lives these people led are inspiring and very much reminded me of how Thoreau lived in WALDEN

The second part of the book about modern mystics who are laity was a little out of this world for me.

The third part of the book wrapped up the whole thing in a short summary that I felt could have and should have been longer.

[Kaitlyn Whitten · Rating 3 out of 5]

3🌟

It was good, but there were some things I wasn't crazy about; grammatical and spelling mistakes, slight demonization of the mentally ill, and slight glorification of the dissociation and survival techniques of children who were greatly abused. Also, the mystic part seemed quite a bit larger than the monk part and made it feel a little unbalanced. Overall it was insightful, intriguing, thought-provoking, and a great philosophical, spiritual, and entertaining read. Definitely worth a try!

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author interviewed authenticated individuals in an attempt to find some common denominators in their character and lives. She uses that data intertwined with the wisdom of greats like Abraham Maslow, Walt Whitman, Jesus Christ and Thomas Merton to define the process of self-actuating. She concludes that it is possible to be an authentic person within the boundaries of many lifestyles, not just within the role of what one might traditionally define as that of monk or mystic. If you are an oddball like me and choose to unfold life's mystery in a way that mainstream society defines as non-traditional, this book is a comfort and validation. You are not alone.

Easy read. Starts out strong but fades a little, though well worth the time.

You shouldn't read this book if ...

•you believe beauty has to do with pedicures and highlights.
•you believe success is measured by promotions and your paycheck.
•you avoid nature because you might get sweaty, dirty or encounter bugs.
•you believe thought-provoking literature is historical romance.
•your preferred mode of transport is a fast drive rather than a slow walk.
•your treasured day off is spent at the mall.
•your quiet time means watching TV.
•you believe stewardship is a dutiful display of virtue necessary to prove your charitable heart.
•you believe compassion is forgiveness you are worthy of granting.
•you believe that biblical teachings are the one and only directive of your moral compass and your mind is closed to other sources of wisdom.

[Joyce · Rating 3 out of 5]

Only 3 stars as an overall rating is such a paradox because this book totally uplifted me. I needed the gist of this book. She conducts a small study of unique people who seem to be living their own lives with their own rules...and somehow they connect to something (higher?) that makes their living successful.

[John · Rating 3 out of 5]

An "OK" book. I had a hard time getting through it. It came across as very dry and I was looking for something with a bit more impact. In the end it wasn't very compelling.

[Amy Terhorst · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another in my spiritual education section.

[David · Rating 1 out of 5]

What I learned was nothing.
Vague and generalities. Boring. Nothing nice to say about the book.

[Mckinley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading about the alternative lifestyles of the folks she interviewed. Gave me food for thought.

[Susan Labudde · Rating 4 out of 5]

An all time favorite. I read it every ten years and wish, wh can't I be like that!

[Jackson Burnett · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ordinary People as Monks and Mystics probably teaches some profound lessons. I haven't finished the book, and may not ever, because the paths described simply seem too stark.

[Judy · Rating 4 out of 5]

An easy read but loaded with insight. Read slowly. Discuss!!

[Julia Ohl · Rating 4 out of 5]

I used to love this book. I think I've read it too many times, or maybe my ideas have changed. But it's still a good book.

[J Crossley · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book examines the lives of people who view themselves as lay monks and lay mystics. The author looks into their lifestyles, how they conduct themselves, and how they started on these paths.

[Jorge Rodighiero · Rating 3 out of 5]

great first half, but under-used case studies