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The Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms
Want to learn how to achieve 487 different kinds of orgasms?
If so, you’re reading the wrong guidebook. Despite what many in the media would have you believe, there’s no such thing as a rainbow variety of orgasms—and you’re not sexually inadequate if you aren’t having them every night, all night.
Believe us when we tell you: there is only one kind of orgasm. And this is very good news!
Orgasms are simply the explosive release of sexual tension. How that tension is generated doesn’t matter—and humans, (particularly females), can have orgasms from nearly any kind of stimulation, given practice and a sexy context.
That’s what this guide is all about. You and your partner are going to learn loads about the female body and how it works, get to know your sexual response and arousal, discover how to locate—and stimulate—your g-spot, and even explore fun, sexy stuff like multiple and simultaneous orgasms.
If so, you’re reading the wrong guidebook. Despite what many in the media would have you believe, there’s no such thing as a rainbow variety of orgasms—and you’re not sexually inadequate if you aren’t having them every night, all night.
Believe us when we tell you: there is only one kind of orgasm. And this is very good news!
Orgasms are simply the explosive release of sexual tension. How that tension is generated doesn’t matter—and humans, (particularly females), can have orgasms from nearly any kind of stimulation, given practice and a sexy context.
That’s what this guide is all about. You and your partner are going to learn loads about the female body and how it works, get to know your sexual response and arousal, discover how to locate—and stimulate—your g-spot, and even explore fun, sexy stuff like multiple and simultaneous orgasms.
96 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 15, 2010
10 people are currently reading
822 people want to read
About the author
Emily Nagoski
37 books2,975 followersThe official bio is:
"Emily Nagoski has a PhD in Health Behavior with a doctoral concentration in human sexuality from Indiana University (IU), and a master’s degree (also from IU) in Counseling, with a clinical internship at the Kinsey Institute Sexual Health Clinic. She has taught graduate and undergraduate classes in human sexuality, relationships and communication, stress management, and sex education."
What all that means, really, is that I am here to teach women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies. It's a small goal in the grand scheme of things - I'm not trying to bring peace to the Middle East or repair the ozone layer - but it's a goal that I think truly does have the power to change lives and, ultimately, the world.
You can find me online:
Twitter @enagoski
Facebook Emily Nagoski
Medium @emilynagoski
Blog
"Emily Nagoski has a PhD in Health Behavior with a doctoral concentration in human sexuality from Indiana University (IU), and a master’s degree (also from IU) in Counseling, with a clinical internship at the Kinsey Institute Sexual Health Clinic. She has taught graduate and undergraduate classes in human sexuality, relationships and communication, stress management, and sex education."
What all that means, really, is that I am here to teach women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies. It's a small goal in the grand scheme of things - I'm not trying to bring peace to the Middle East or repair the ozone layer - but it's a goal that I think truly does have the power to change lives and, ultimately, the world.
You can find me online:
Twitter @enagoski
Facebook Emily Nagoski
Medium @emilynagoski
Blog
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Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
February 11, 2022
Drive My Car (Ryusuke Hamaguchi, 2021)
June 18, 2018
Female Orgasms is not so much as a book, as a really tiny set of chapters that are barely connected to each other. Emily Nagoski is frustrated by the way male standards are used to judge all sexuality and makes a point in this booklet that it is unhelpful, at best. However, while some of the ideas in the book are interesting, to me it seemed as a list of ideas and ramblings gathered together in order to form a volume, with most of the things either really basic or without any narrative or connection to others. 100 ebook pages and 26 chapters, that's saying something.
The book is oriented towards women, with men as a secondary audience. It is not a self-help book for men to become gods in bed, it is a self-help book for women on how to become more aware of their sexuality and enjoy themselves better. Some of the ideas I found interesting are mostly related to expectations. If we know 95% of women masturbate with clitoral stimulation, why do we even consider the necessity for women to orgasm from vaginal intercourse? It's nice when it happens, but as opposed to men, women don't orgasm predictably nor is the orgasm the end purpose of sexual encounter. Another interesting fact is that women are mostly responsive to erotic stimulation, as opposed to men who just wake up one moment wanting to have sex. It's a statistical fact, but still, one to take into consideration. One idea that the author wanted to make clear is that there is only one orgasm: the explosive release of sexual tension. How that tension is generated doesn’t matter (to the orgasm).
An important concept that Nagoski is making efforts to popularize is the one of arousal nonconcordance. In other words, while for men there is a strong correlation between physical sexual arousal and the desire or openness for sex, for women it's not quite so. Experiments of people watching porn while devices compare their sexual arousal and also take their reported input of how aroused they feel show consistently this is true. I do feel, though, that the author pushes a little too far, attempting to completely decouple the declarative and physical arousal. Considering some men use opposing ideas as justification for non consensual sex ("your body wants it, so you must want it" kind of logic) that is understandable, but less scientific than I would have liked.
This book is part of a series about sexuality, written by different authors, called Good in Bed Guide. I found it basic, but probably helpful for a lot of people. I wish it would have been better written and edited, though. Also, try reading this on the subway with a straight face.
The book is oriented towards women, with men as a secondary audience. It is not a self-help book for men to become gods in bed, it is a self-help book for women on how to become more aware of their sexuality and enjoy themselves better. Some of the ideas I found interesting are mostly related to expectations. If we know 95% of women masturbate with clitoral stimulation, why do we even consider the necessity for women to orgasm from vaginal intercourse? It's nice when it happens, but as opposed to men, women don't orgasm predictably nor is the orgasm the end purpose of sexual encounter. Another interesting fact is that women are mostly responsive to erotic stimulation, as opposed to men who just wake up one moment wanting to have sex. It's a statistical fact, but still, one to take into consideration. One idea that the author wanted to make clear is that there is only one orgasm: the explosive release of sexual tension. How that tension is generated doesn’t matter (to the orgasm).
An important concept that Nagoski is making efforts to popularize is the one of arousal nonconcordance. In other words, while for men there is a strong correlation between physical sexual arousal and the desire or openness for sex, for women it's not quite so. Experiments of people watching porn while devices compare their sexual arousal and also take their reported input of how aroused they feel show consistently this is true. I do feel, though, that the author pushes a little too far, attempting to completely decouple the declarative and physical arousal. Considering some men use opposing ideas as justification for non consensual sex ("your body wants it, so you must want it" kind of logic) that is understandable, but less scientific than I would have liked.
This book is part of a series about sexuality, written by different authors, called Good in Bed Guide. I found it basic, but probably helpful for a lot of people. I wish it would have been better written and edited, though. Also, try reading this on the subway with a straight face.
April 27, 2021
This is a short, quick read but packed with a lot of information of all kinds - practical advice, scientific data, and... I don't want to say self-help, but a bit of self-help, of the good kind.
To address some of the criticisms mentioned in other reviews:
- I personally didn't find the editing terrible; there were no mispelled or extra words in my copy.
- This might not be new material to anyone who has read "Come as you are" or the author's blog; I'm not familiar with either, so it wasn't a problem for me that some of her ideas where repeated.
- The author never once says that orgasms don't matter and that caring about having an orgasm is wrong - this is called a guide to female orgasms after all, ffs! She spends pages telling you how you can have one, or several! She does take enormous care to reassure people that there's nothing wrong in not having orgasms every time, or through penetration alone, or quickly. And. There. Isn't. If you want to have an orgasm every time, and you can do it, or you want and can help your partner do it, more power to you! You'll find some advice on how to achieve or perfect that here! The author is just trying to naturalize the notion that it's okay to enjoy sex and masturbation without pressuring yourself or your partner to have an orgasm every time. This to me was something of great value.
- The book does acknowledge people other than cis women and men and non-straight relationships at several points. Since it's mostly aimed at people with vulvas, and the advice is about how you can achieve orgasms with your body, if you are in a relationship with another person with vulva the advice still applies. Then, it has a section on how to achieve orgasms with a male partner, both because of anatomical considerations as well as societal/cultural factors that, although can still be present in women, can be stronger in men. The author's address of the later is why the book can feel like it focuses a lot on straight relationships.
Tl;tr: I personally found valuable information here that I hadn't seen anywhere else, and it was also incredibly soothing, psychologically speaking. I think if you have a vulva or are curious about people with vulvas, it might be worth checking it out - you won't lose that much time! Maybe not for you if you have already read the author's content elsewhere or have a vast knowledge of the subject - it's just a booklet, after all.
To address some of the criticisms mentioned in other reviews:
- I personally didn't find the editing terrible; there were no mispelled or extra words in my copy.
- This might not be new material to anyone who has read "Come as you are" or the author's blog; I'm not familiar with either, so it wasn't a problem for me that some of her ideas where repeated.
- The author never once says that orgasms don't matter and that caring about having an orgasm is wrong - this is called a guide to female orgasms after all, ffs! She spends pages telling you how you can have one, or several! She does take enormous care to reassure people that there's nothing wrong in not having orgasms every time, or through penetration alone, or quickly. And. There. Isn't. If you want to have an orgasm every time, and you can do it, or you want and can help your partner do it, more power to you! You'll find some advice on how to achieve or perfect that here! The author is just trying to naturalize the notion that it's okay to enjoy sex and masturbation without pressuring yourself or your partner to have an orgasm every time. This to me was something of great value.
- The book does acknowledge people other than cis women and men and non-straight relationships at several points. Since it's mostly aimed at people with vulvas, and the advice is about how you can achieve orgasms with your body, if you are in a relationship with another person with vulva the advice still applies. Then, it has a section on how to achieve orgasms with a male partner, both because of anatomical considerations as well as societal/cultural factors that, although can still be present in women, can be stronger in men. The author's address of the later is why the book can feel like it focuses a lot on straight relationships.
Tl;tr: I personally found valuable information here that I hadn't seen anywhere else, and it was also incredibly soothing, psychologically speaking. I think if you have a vulva or are curious about people with vulvas, it might be worth checking it out - you won't lose that much time! Maybe not for you if you have already read the author's content elsewhere or have a vast knowledge of the subject - it's just a booklet, after all.
May 6, 2016
I really like Emily. I do not like the editor of this guide, whoever it may have been. There are misspellings and extra words all over the place, not to mention a risidual reference to some material being previously posted to the blog.
January 4, 2020
A small book that shows how men and women are different sexually. Of course talking about female orgasm, it focuses more on female sexuality but the book is equally useful for men, specially those men that want to build a good sexual understanding with their partners. Mindfulness is important in sex as well! Some cultural myths about sex are also dismissed in the book. And most importantly, for women, it’s about what their mind is telling them, not their body, while for men it’s more about body and less about mind.
November 21, 2019
Problem number 1 - this book barely mentions not straight women. Not cool.
Problem number 2 - I disagree with the author. Orgasms do matter. There's nothing wrong in wanting to fully enjoy sex/masturbation every time you do this.
Problem number 2 - I disagree with the author. Orgasms do matter. There's nothing wrong in wanting to fully enjoy sex/masturbation every time you do this.
April 27, 2021
This book is so poorly edited that I really struggled to finish it despite the fact that it's extremely short.
November 27, 2022
I really like Nagoski's work, but I didn't learn that much about my body because I live in it.
October 8, 2024
There are some nice ideas in the book. But G-spot?.. Oh really?
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August 25, 2015One cannot know too much ;)
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews