Girl, Nearly 16: Absolute Torture

Jess Jordan #2

by Sue Limb

Just when things were going so well.

Jess had the perfect summer She and Fred, lounging in the park, gazing into one another’s eyes and engaging in witty repartee. It was going to be so romantic. And then her maddening mum stepped She suddenly announced a two-week “road trip” to Cornwall to visit Jess’s dad, something Jess might have enjoyed, actually, were it not for the monstrously bad timing. Not only will this force Jess and Fred apart for two whole weeks, it will also leave the darling and handsome Fred in the clutches of Jess’s blindingly beautiful best friend, Flora—who, you might recall, expressed an interest in Fred not too long ago. As if all this weren’t enough, Jess’s mum seems to expect her to weep at the grave of every departed literary hero in Britain’s long history. It’s absolute torture. And little does Jess know, a huge surprise awaits her when she visits her dad at his home for the first time in years.

Genres: Young Adult, Teen, Humor, Chick Lit, Romance, Fiction, Contemporary

216 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2005

Reviews

[Arminzerella · Rating 2 out of 5]

Jess Jordan has just found her true love (Fred) and they’ve made all sorts of plans for their summer vacation when Jess’ mom announces that they’re off on holiday to St. Ives. Jess has been longing to go down to St. Ives to visit her father, but this is just the absolute worst timing. If she leaves now, then Fred will be left all alone to potentially fall in love with some other girl. And worst of all, Fred’s just surprised Jess with tickets for them to go to Riverdene (a music festival).

It’s one hardship after another for Jess as she and her mother and granny travel down to the coast. Mom wants to stop at all of these depressing places, and grandma has been carrying grandpa’s ashes so that she can sprinkle them into the sea – it’s not been the most uplifting vacation. Plus, Jess’ nerves are shot as she contemplates the many infidelities Fred may be committing in her absence. Naturally, everything turns out for the best. Fred sells their tickets and surprises Jess by showing up in St. Ives. Jess is able to tell her parents that she’s got a boyfriend and no one freaks out too badly. And grandma is able to scatter her husband’s ashes into the sea in a private ceremony. Major Crises Averted!

Jess’ adventures are pretty amusing – she’s a funny character – and there are many laugh-out-loud moments in this book. But, her insecurity started to irritate me after awhile. Yes, she’s just gotten her first boyfriend, but she seems way preoccupied with him running off with some other girl. This is a guy she’s known most of her life, and they’ve been best friends, so it’s hard to imagine that she doesn’t know him better than that. Her adventures continue in a sequel to this book, and I hope that she grows up a bit, and becomes a bit more confident.

[Loubna El]

This book was very amusing. While I was reading this book I literally Laughed Out Loud! I chose to do a review on this book because it was funny and found it interesting. I didn't want the book to end, I wanted it to keep going! :)

Shout Out

The book "Girl, Nearly , Absolute Torture" by Sue Limb is a fascinating book. It's about a girl that has divorced parents. her parents got divorced when she was young and how she wants to go and visit her father which lives in a different town. but she is torn because she also wants to hang out with her boyfriend. i liked many things about this book. what i liked the most about this book was the concept. i also liked the coverof the book it was like a Mona Lisa spin off. the third thing i liked about this book is the description. an issue that has stuck with me since finishing this book is children with a gay parent. one way that this book changed the way i see the world is that everyone is the same no matter who they marry.




Creative Response
Dear Diary,
Omg I can’t believe my dad is not with another woman. But he’s with another man. Wat ??? Is that what he left mom for? Wow but hey if that’s what he wants he could have that as long as that makes him happy. I always thought my dad had another wife and like 5 other children. But I guess not he just has a boyfriend. I like dad’s boyfriend, he’s kind of cute. At least my dad has good taste  ! I wonder what dad’s boyfriend thinks about me lol. I wish my boyfriend was a surfer. I can’t believe Fred came to see me. He made my year by coming all the way over here to just see me normal old JESS! My mom knew that dad was with a man this whole time but she couldn’t tell me. I wonder why? I mean come on it is my father after all I’m always going to love him no mater what. Maybe she thought it would be better if I found out on my own or if dad told me. yeah more about Fred. Aaaaw he came all the way to this NO HWERE town to see me. It made me so happy and I cant believe my dad met my boyfriend before my mom did. It’s a good thing dad likes him and its good I like dads boyfriend too.

love , jess



Dear Journal,

Should I show my boyfriend to Jess? What will she think? Will she accept me for being gay? I have to do it. It’s now or never. I want to tell Jess but I don’t want her to think I left her mother for another man. I guess I have to tell her everything when she comes over. I hope it all goes good. After I tell her I don’t have to hide myself from her anymore hopefully. But I still love her mother as person and I love Jess to death too. So I have to be real with my daughter and I want her to be real with me. I don’t want her hiding anything from me either so I need to just tell her about my guy FRIEND and get it over with!


Sincerely Jess’ father.

[Sophie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This had me giggling, smacking my gob and crying over the absence of a Fred in my life. Totally melted my otherwise frozen heart. Ugh.

[Saylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don' t like Madeliene very much she's selfish and barely pays any attention to her daughter. Is it that Sue Limb wanted us to believe that she was only this horrible because her ex-husband was gay? I do feel for Madeliene though Tom only married her to chase the gay away-selfish if you asked me? Now she's left to rebuild her confidence while Phil butters up Tom by telling him it's not his fault. It is his fault. Poor Jess though it's no wonder that her self confidence is friends with the earth's inner core.

[Amy the book-bat · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jess jumps to conclusions too much. Her mom was driving me crazy. The story was still kind of fun, though.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book was fair to middling. I appreciate that it handled her father's orientation well, and there were no scenes of teen sex for teen readers. Overall, however, the book fell somewhat flat for me. Maybe the British 'humour' flew right over my head, but it all seemed overdone.

[Jennifer Wardrip · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reviewed by Jaglvr for TeensReadToo.com

Welcome back to more crazy adventures of Jess Jordan.

School is out and Jess has nothing more planned than to spend her time with her newly turned boyfriend, Fred. But it doesn't take long before disaster strikes. Of all times, Jess's mom has decided to take a vacation. They're to take a road trip so that Jess can visit her father in St. Ives. They'll stop at all sorts of historical and literary sites along the way. She surprises Jess with the news hours before Fred surprises her with tickets to the Riverdene concert. Typical of Jess's life.

Leaving Fred behind, Jess, her mom, and her dear grandmother (along with her grandfather's ashes) head off on the trip. With intermittent phone and text connections with Fred, Jess's mind starts coming up with far-fetched ideas of his indiscretions. Jess's best friend, Flora, has canceled her vacation when Flora's mom winds up with a broken leg. Earlier in the year Flora was keen on Fred. So leaving the two back home without a chaperone could spell a breakup for Jess.

The trip wouldn't be nearly so bad if it weren't for the timing of it. Jess tells her story with anguish and comedy, leaving the reader in hysterics and wanting to learn more. The reader can tell what is about to happen, but the anticipation of Jess's twisted reality is what makes the story so much fun.

Eventually, they get to St. Ives, where Jess finds out the truth about her parents' divorce and what Fred has really been up to while she's been gone.

This installment of Jess Jordan's life picks up where GIRL, 15: CHARMING BUT INSANE left off. And after reading this, I'm already eager to get my hands on GIRL, GOING ON 17: PANTS ON FIRE. I can't imagine what other situations Jess can manage to get into.

[Courtney · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jess's new boyfriend (and long-time best friend), Fred, can kiss like no other -- literally, we're talking fireworks & melting knees! So of course, her mother decides that they (and her murder-obssessed grandmother) must go on vacation to visit her father. Who is being terribly weird, by the way -- very evasive and strange. If only Jess could tell her feminist mother about her new boyfriend! Now she's stuck trying to unravel why her parents broke up in the first place... and jealously imagining Fred being left alone with beautiful women back home. Oh dear.

Jess's voice is hysterically funny yet again, describing the extreme emotions that all teens deal with in a tongue-in-cheek way. Her discovery of her father's life partner is light-hearted -- after all, what a great piece of gossip it will be at school to have a gay father! It's almost too bubbly, but it's true to Jess's character. The culminating scene of the book (where she must confront her jealousy) is pithy and funny. All in all, a great installment!

[Clarabel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Toujours aussi irrésistible ! Jess Jordan doit passer ses vacances en famille, lesquelles consistent à errer dans la campagne anglaise pour visiter les églises médiévales, en compagnie de sa mère et de sa grand-mère, voilà donc un programme qui ne l'enchante guère car Jess est follement amoureuse de Fred et veut passer tout son temps libre auprès de lui. Là où ça se corse, c'est que sa mère ignore l'existence de cette relation amoureuse, essentiellement parce que sa mère est fâchée avec la gente masculine (plus pour longtemps, je vous rassure !). La séparation temporaire du jeune couple est donc vécue comme une véritable torture, Jess se languit de son Fred et devient jalouse à en crever rien qu'à l'imaginer avec sa meilleure amie Flora, soudainement trop belle pour être honnête. Bref, c'est anglais, drôle, adolescent et impertinent, ça se lit en deux coups de cuillère à pot et on en redemande ! Dans ce tome, Jess apprend aussi la raison de la séparation de ses parents. Des retrouvailles au top !

[Mia Sebti · Rating 4 out of 5]

The next morning Fred called to tell Jess he had gotten tickets to the camping festival. Jes was very exited she had always wanted to go to the festival.
She now needded to find a way to tell her mother about the camping festival.
It had to be a lie because she couldnt tell her mom the truth about fred.
When Jess decided to tell her mom she panicked and told her it was an invitation from flora .Her mom was appreciative and found that so nice she wanted to call floras's mom to thank her.
Jess quickly told her mom that Flora’s mom was sick and couldn't answer the phone. She rushed to her room to call Fora to tell her what she had to say when her mom called.
After Jess called flora ,Jesses mom called home and Flora rushed down to answer the phone but it was too late her mom had already answered.
Both mothers agreed that they were too young to go to the festival.
She had to try and think of another way. Then Freds mom called and asked her mom if she thought they needed one or two tent ? Now her mom new the truth and was furious!

[Pearl · Rating 4 out of 5]

*Do not read this if you have not yet red "Girl, 15, Charming, but Insane" because this is a sequel to that book.

There is something very likable about this couple. Most of the time you would get so bored because you're so happy that the best friends get together and you don't wanna read the sequel because the romance get's kinda boring... But I really like Fred and Jess together. Fred is kinda that funny weird kid but at the same time he's pretty cool and he would seem nice to hang with. He's also the kind that's not male-model handsome but he has unique features that make him really charming, cute, and likable.(my kind of guy!) Yes Jess + Fred is not your average couple. The only reason why i couldn't give it a full five stars is because it was kind of a drag reading it through the middle when Jess' family goes through historical routes. You just have to be patient to pass that part and that's when it get really interesting! OK then now off to the next book!

[Riski Oktavian · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Aku sibuk banget dengan kesengsaraan orang lain sampai nggak punya waktu untuk menikmati kesengsaraanku sendiri." -hal. 144

Membaca novel ini bisa menjadi semacam penyegaran terlebih dengan setting waktu pada saat liburan musim panas, sehingga waktu baca novel ini vibe summernya memang kerasa banget.

Bercerita tentang Jess yang berniat menghabiskan liburan musim panasnya bersama pacaranya, Fred. Jess yang sudah membayangkan momen indah tersebut harus menerima kenyataan bahwa ibunya mengajaknya dalam sebuah perjalanan liburan mengunjungi ayahnya.

Biasanya Jess akan excited namun karena ketidakcocokan kondisi pada saat itu, membuat Jess justru semakin gundah. Ditambah beberapa pikiran-pikiran yang aneh yang mulai merayapi diri Jess yang membuatnya berpikir apa yang akan Fred lakukan saat Jess tidak ada di dekatnya.

Namun liburan itu tanpa diduga membawa Jess untuk menemukan kejutan-kejutan kecil hingga Jess barulah menyadari bahwa terlalu banyak kejutan yang terjadi di dunia ini. Dan Jess jadi lebih memahami bagaimana kehidupan di sekelilingnya berjalan.

Aku suka dengan message dari novel ini dan juga bagaimana penulis bertutur, yang terkesan blak-blakan dan apa adanya. Namun dari hal tersebut menjadikan cerita ini enak banget buat dibaca dan juga bikin aku kesedot sama ceritanya.

Sayangnya di sini terlalu repetitif penggunaan kata "banget" yang somehow bikin aku terganggu. Selebihnya untuk ceritanya aku nggak merasa ada yang kurang, malah di sini ada plot twist-plot twist kecil yang jujur kocak banget!

3,8 stars.

[Stacey Adams · Rating 2 out of 5]

There was a lot of whining, lies and teenage angst in this book. The main character, Jess, had the perfect summer planned, with her new boyfriend Fred. Then her mother threw a wrench in it. Jess and her mom were traveling to see Jess' father, they would be gone for weeks. Jess begins to connive to make her mother change the plans. She isn't very good at making up lies and following through so she gets caught which just makes her mother mad. Now she's in a car with her mad mother, her grandmother and her grandfathers ashes as they head to Jess' dads. To make matters worse her mother makes it an educational trip by stopping along the way and dragging Jess through museums and other places where a learning experience may occur. Jess hates it and is grumpy, not getting anything out of the experiences but frustration. Even worse is that Fred is going to the big music experience without her....and er best friend who had a crush on Fred is also at the concert. Jess' imagination gets the better of her making her think terrible things are going on....she's jealous and upset for no real reason. The whole trip is a disaster because of Jess and her negative thoughts. I thought Jess was selfish, extremely untrusting of her boyfriend and cruel to her mother throughout the book. I always want to latch onto the main character and root for them but I just wanted to throw Jess out of the car and let her stew in her own juice without bothering anyone else. She wasn't very likeable to me.

[Jenny Blaszczyk · Rating 2 out of 5]

A fun quick read. I, in all honesty, forgot that this was a sequel. Thankfully it doesn’t read like one. I didn’t really connect with the main character, Jess, but I think that’s because I am not interested in this type of book anymore. Maybe if I was 16 when I read this I would have enjoyed it more.

[Emma Milli · Rating 3 out of 5]

⭐️3.5/5⭐️

Easy and light book full of angst and the dramatics of what it’s like to be a teenaged girl. In a nostalgic way it brought me back to high school… maybe it’s also cause I got this book from my high school haha

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars—very cute and hysterical at times.

[Sue · Rating 2 out of 5]

Somewhat humorous, but predictable.

[Annelize · Rating 1 out of 5]

Good

[Victoria · Rating 5 out of 5]

So cute! And funny!

[Squirrel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun, just the right mix of torture and family, longing and revelations, on a comfortable level. Well penned, with little surprises adding smiles along the way.

[Juniper Shore · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is the sequel to Girl, 15, Charming but Insane, and picks up where the previous book left off. This volume can stand on its own but contains numerous spoilers for the earlier book.

Jess is a wildly effusive narrator. Every event is either the pinnacle of human experience or an irretrievable catastrophe. Much of the humor comes from the over-the-top style, described in increasingly absurd metaphors. She's a fun travel companion, but I think she would be infuriating to live with.

The previous book was all about wackiness--Jess has a wacky family and wacky friends, and her life is full of wacky happenings. This book is far more restrained, which takes a lot of the humor out. Instead of being silly, Jess' mood swings start to seem pathetic, more like Bridget Jones's Diary and less like The Trolls. As in the earlier novel, Jess is a bit obtuse for a 15-year-old; most readers will see the plot twists far, far in advance.

The audiobook version is read by Katherine Kellgren, who has an amazing variety of accents and speaking styles at her fingertips. I didn't agree with all her choices but the characters are easily distinguishable and the narrative flows along smoothly.

This is excellent lighthearted fluff for younger teens. Adults and older teenagers may find it a bit dull.

[Natalie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jess thinks that life is just about perfect. She has her slighlty ape-ish, yet absolutely adorable boyfriend Fred and the summer hols are just about to kick off...then her mom springs it on her - summer road trip to adore all kinds of history and nature. Disaster! Of course Jess wants to see her lovable Dad and finally force the secret of why he and her mum split up, but she wants to snuggle with Fred more.

Sue Limb is brilliant at humor, that's all there is to it. Jess is hilarious. I think all girls, be they old or young can relate to the extreme emotions Jess feels as she tries to deal with a neurotic nature-loving mum and the thoughts of all the girls adoring Fred in her absence.

[amaldae · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's been a week since I last finished a book, so naturally I needed something quick.

I'm rather dismayed at my choice, actually. Sure, "Girl, 16" is quick to read, it's light and stupid but not the stupidest thing ever seen. For all that, it could have been a summer read worth the cents I spent on it.

Still, it's terribly out of my comfort zone. Jess is exactly the kind of a heroine who makes people laugh at YA literature - namely, overly jealous, superficial, and so funny it mosty makes the reader want to cringe and stop reading (or at least, this reader reacted like that).
But then again, maybe that's just me pretending to be better than I really am.

2 stars for reminding me of the silly horse stories that once were so popular. Without mentioning any horses (or ponies).

[Emily Watters · Rating 5 out of 5]

Girl, (Nearly) 16, Absolute Torture by Sue Limb is the sequel to Girl, 15, Charming but Insane. This crazy sequel follows the beloved characters of Jess Jordan, her mom, Granny. The genre of this book is realistic fiction because it takes place in England as the terrific trio venture across England as a summer vacation, with the finial destination being St. Ives, down by the sea. Funky twists and turns have you reading on edge every time you flip the page, with one too many plot twists. I rated this book 5 stars because in my opinion, Sue Limb is one of my favorite authors and this book has so much comedy it's almost like comedians' monologues thrown into a book, spread out into a series.

(BOOK REPORT FOR JANUARY)

[Steprkh · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is about a girl that has a boyfriend and has a boyfriend and sha has not tould her parents. Her parents are divoursed because her father is gay. Her mother tskes her to a trip with her mom and she takes a bus to get faster and left her mom behind. When she got their she found her dads house and sleeped thair for somedays. The next days her mom came and drop of her stuff and said she was going to be in a hotel.Days passed and her boyfriend came and had a good time together. She finally got the guts to tell her parents and that she had a boyfriend and intruduced them to him. Also she met her dads boyfriend and hanged out with him and had a good time.

[Rosina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think I first read this when I was about..14? And then re-read it about a year ago. From what I remember, I really enjoyed it. A lot of that was down to it being creepily relatable. I went on a lot of holidays with my mum and nan when I was younger and they acted so much like Jess' mum and nan. I ended up showing my mum a billion bits of the book and we'd crack up together at how much it was like us. The story's quite sweet as well, and I may have got a little teary eyed at the end. If I re-read the series, I'll update this review :)

[Nana Stormborn · Rating 5 out of 5]

No puedo decir de este libro más que cosas buenas, tal vez por el amor obsesivo que le profeso desde hace 8 años, ya sea merecido o no; por lo que cualquier opinión que pudiera expresar no sería realmente objetiva.
Adoro este libro, adoro releerlo al menos una vez al año y, pese a la poca fama que ha tenido, me siento feliz de haber descubierto a Jess y haber compartido con ella cuatro maravillosas aventuras, y las que me quedan por explorar en los otros tres libros que no han sido traducidos al español y que leeré en inglés para no quedarme con las ganas.

[treehugger · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was another fun listen, with the same FANTASTIC narrator, but the story was just ok. I felt myself hoping for it to end, which is unlike me. So...3 stars. Funny, but pretty transparent, and the overly flamboyant characters started to get on my nerves like they never did in the first book - DON'T read this one first if you're considering these! And if you only read 1, read Girl, 15, charming but insane.

[Theresa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another great book to listen to. This one picks up where the previous book left off with Jess just starting to date Fred while her mom has planned a whole summer vacation for Jess and her grandmother. Jess does finally find out why her parents separated and is actually very okay with what happened.

While there were some funny parts, it wasn't as funny to me as the first one. But the narrator was awesome.

[Catherine Medina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this book was very good especially for young adults. Right when Jess gets what she wants, a nice stable relationship her mother arranges a trip to see jess's father. Although she loves her father and wants to see him Jess had made plans with Fred and is worried someone might take him away from her. It is a bit suspenseful and also nice story of teens trying to keep a long distance relationship.