rape in fiction
There's something that's been bothering me. It has to do with Game of Thrones (TV) and a reviewer who made the comment that she was uncomfortable with the idea of Daenerys Targaryen falling in love with her husband Khal Drogo after he rapes her repeatedly. I completely understand where the reviewer is coming from. But I think she might be wrong.
This post is my attempt to explore the use of rape in fiction and it's probably going to be messy and convoluted. Sorry. But I'd like to hear your thoughts. Maybe you think it should never be used. Maybe rape in fiction doesn't matter to you. Feel free to say anything, I just ask for civility in any exchanges.
Normally I don't use rape in my books. I think it's frequently too easy to do it badly. Specifically, if someone is raped, then she (he too, but I'm going to use she since that's the norm in fiction) can't just get over it. So it has to happen to a minor character, or else you've got a main character who HAS to react to all sorts of things for the rest of the book, and likely the rest of the series. She may do a lot of things, from changing the way she dresses, to avoiding men, to drinking or taking drugs, to becoming an automaton, to countless other things. But you can bet that the rape is going to overwhelm in her life in many unpredictable ways. I'm not sure I can do that sort of experience real justice.
If you're telling the story of a rape, then that works. But too often, it's the story of something else and a rape happens to happen and the heroine is hurt and then gets over it because it's inconvenient to the story to have her deal with it in any realistic sort of way.
Rape is frequently used as a shorthand to: Look, this asshole is evil. See him be evil. It's also a shorthand way to make a strong heroine instantly vulnerable and sympathetic. I'm not saying all writers do this, but it happens fairly often. I also despise the stories (and there are plenty of them) where the heroine is raped (though it's usually couched in terms of really, deep down, she was in love with the rapist but just didn't know it) and then she comes to passionately love her rapist and they live happily ever after having lots of sex. Pardon me while I puke.
So if I hate that sort of story, then why is it that I think the reviewer might be wrong about the Daenerys plotline? Her husband certainly raped her, and yet she comes to seemingly love him, and he her. Why do I think that works?
Okay, I'm not sure I buy it entirely, but I can let it go by without argument. Here's the thing. Her's is an arranged match. She goes into it with the expectation that she will have to have sex with this man. She may not want it, but from her point of view, he's entitled. Is it rape? I think so. But because of her mindset at that point, she doesn't necessarily hate him. After all, her brother has done horrible things to her all her life and she loves him. Maybe she's just a victim who clings to abusers. Except that she comes out a lot stronger and more independent than that as the plot develops.
But when I think about women in the Victorian period who got married and were not expected to enjoy sex, and who were famously told "lay back, close your eyes, spread your legs and think of England," I think that they also went into marriage with the supposition that sex was not to be enjoyed (which was part of the culture--sex for women was not to be enjoyed, but was to create babies), but to be endured and to make children.
For Khal Drogo, he has sex with his new wife in order to prove his dominance and to make her pregnant. He does it in a way that presupposes women are vessels to be used and not respected. But he doesn't do it out of malice and I think that's what makes the difference to Daenerys eventually becoming attached to him. Both accept their roles and don't perceive the rape as rape, so much as expected behavior. In fact, I'm surprised he does it in privacy. In many cultures from the medieval period (which this is fantasy, but still in the style of medieval fantasy), the king's first sexual experience with the new bride was frequently witnessed by multiple people to guarantee that indeed the king was virile, and that if she turned up pregnant, it was his. Also it verified that she was a virgin. Yeah, women have had it great, haven't they? (puking again).
Later, she learns and teaches him how to have sex for pleasure and that leads them to more intimacy and feelings for each other, especially as he shows her a level of respect that she's not experienced before. So possibly her feelings are faked in order to gain this respect and better treatment, although I think the writing points to real feelings for both of them.
So for me it comes down to the mental context for Daenerys. She doesn't think she's been raped. Or rather, she's knows she's been sexually violated against her will, but she also believes that that is appropriate and doesn't blame him, nor does she think it should have happened otherwise. She doesn't think he should have wooed her. That would be truly magical out of the box thinking for her, and definitely out of character.
I think because of her mindset, and because she's been abused for so long by her brother, she also doesn't respond as a typical rape victim. She accepts that badness has been done to her and that it's part of her life. It's the nature of things. She's experienced worse. That it comes at the hands of her husband who is essentially a barbarian, is only to be expected. She has scars, but because no trust was broken, because her sense of self hasn't changed, because her sense of the world remains the same, she doesn't react as another woman would who expected men to respect her and treat her in a non-violent way.
So what are your thoughts? Do you think I'm off base? Do you think there's any way to make a rape work in a story? (I think Patty Briggs did a good job in the Mercy series).
This post is my attempt to explore the use of rape in fiction and it's probably going to be messy and convoluted. Sorry. But I'd like to hear your thoughts. Maybe you think it should never be used. Maybe rape in fiction doesn't matter to you. Feel free to say anything, I just ask for civility in any exchanges.
Normally I don't use rape in my books. I think it's frequently too easy to do it badly. Specifically, if someone is raped, then she (he too, but I'm going to use she since that's the norm in fiction) can't just get over it. So it has to happen to a minor character, or else you've got a main character who HAS to react to all sorts of things for the rest of the book, and likely the rest of the series. She may do a lot of things, from changing the way she dresses, to avoiding men, to drinking or taking drugs, to becoming an automaton, to countless other things. But you can bet that the rape is going to overwhelm in her life in many unpredictable ways. I'm not sure I can do that sort of experience real justice.
If you're telling the story of a rape, then that works. But too often, it's the story of something else and a rape happens to happen and the heroine is hurt and then gets over it because it's inconvenient to the story to have her deal with it in any realistic sort of way.
Rape is frequently used as a shorthand to: Look, this asshole is evil. See him be evil. It's also a shorthand way to make a strong heroine instantly vulnerable and sympathetic. I'm not saying all writers do this, but it happens fairly often. I also despise the stories (and there are plenty of them) where the heroine is raped (though it's usually couched in terms of really, deep down, she was in love with the rapist but just didn't know it) and then she comes to passionately love her rapist and they live happily ever after having lots of sex. Pardon me while I puke.
So if I hate that sort of story, then why is it that I think the reviewer might be wrong about the Daenerys plotline? Her husband certainly raped her, and yet she comes to seemingly love him, and he her. Why do I think that works?
Okay, I'm not sure I buy it entirely, but I can let it go by without argument. Here's the thing. Her's is an arranged match. She goes into it with the expectation that she will have to have sex with this man. She may not want it, but from her point of view, he's entitled. Is it rape? I think so. But because of her mindset at that point, she doesn't necessarily hate him. After all, her brother has done horrible things to her all her life and she loves him. Maybe she's just a victim who clings to abusers. Except that she comes out a lot stronger and more independent than that as the plot develops.
But when I think about women in the Victorian period who got married and were not expected to enjoy sex, and who were famously told "lay back, close your eyes, spread your legs and think of England," I think that they also went into marriage with the supposition that sex was not to be enjoyed (which was part of the culture--sex for women was not to be enjoyed, but was to create babies), but to be endured and to make children.
For Khal Drogo, he has sex with his new wife in order to prove his dominance and to make her pregnant. He does it in a way that presupposes women are vessels to be used and not respected. But he doesn't do it out of malice and I think that's what makes the difference to Daenerys eventually becoming attached to him. Both accept their roles and don't perceive the rape as rape, so much as expected behavior. In fact, I'm surprised he does it in privacy. In many cultures from the medieval period (which this is fantasy, but still in the style of medieval fantasy), the king's first sexual experience with the new bride was frequently witnessed by multiple people to guarantee that indeed the king was virile, and that if she turned up pregnant, it was his. Also it verified that she was a virgin. Yeah, women have had it great, haven't they? (puking again).
Later, she learns and teaches him how to have sex for pleasure and that leads them to more intimacy and feelings for each other, especially as he shows her a level of respect that she's not experienced before. So possibly her feelings are faked in order to gain this respect and better treatment, although I think the writing points to real feelings for both of them.
So for me it comes down to the mental context for Daenerys. She doesn't think she's been raped. Or rather, she's knows she's been sexually violated against her will, but she also believes that that is appropriate and doesn't blame him, nor does she think it should have happened otherwise. She doesn't think he should have wooed her. That would be truly magical out of the box thinking for her, and definitely out of character.
I think because of her mindset, and because she's been abused for so long by her brother, she also doesn't respond as a typical rape victim. She accepts that badness has been done to her and that it's part of her life. It's the nature of things. She's experienced worse. That it comes at the hands of her husband who is essentially a barbarian, is only to be expected. She has scars, but because no trust was broken, because her sense of self hasn't changed, because her sense of the world remains the same, she doesn't react as another woman would who expected men to respect her and treat her in a non-violent way.
So what are your thoughts? Do you think I'm off base? Do you think there's any way to make a rape work in a story? (I think Patty Briggs did a good job in the Mercy series).
Published on June 18, 2011 19:04
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