Highsmith: A Romance of the 1950's

by Marijane Meaker

Patricia Highsmith, author of such classics as The Talented Mr. Ripley and Strangers on a Train, was a writer who defied simple categorization. Gore Vidal called her: "One of the greatest modernist writers." The Cleveland Plain Dealer rightly commented: "Patricia Highsmith is often called a mystery or crime writer, which is a bit like calling Picasso a draftsman."

To young novelist Marijane Meaker, however, Highsmith was more than a role model. Shortly after the two met in a New York City lesbian bar, they became lovers and embarked on a two year romance amidst the bohemian set of Greenwich Village and the literary crowd of Fire Island. There, the pair navigated the underground lesbian scene, lunched with literary stars like Janet Flanner, shared intimacies, and gossiped with abandon. Written with wit and brassy candor, Highsmith: A Romance of 1950s is a revealing look at the controversial icon of popular American fiction.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, LGBT, Biography, Lesbian, Queer, Biography Memoir

216 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2003

About the author

Marijane Meaker is also known as M.E. Kerr, Ann Aldrich, and Vin Packer.

Reviews

[MichelinaNeri · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fast read! And fun, if lesbian gossip from the Fifties is your thing. Besides her relationship with Highsmith, Meaker paints a vibrant portrait of the scene in New York. The bars, the restaurants where you could go even if you were two women wearing pants, the kept women of the Upper East Side. Young Highsmith had her moments - she was a romantic, and could be very sweet as a lover, though she was always intolerant and her racism seemed to worsen as she aged. Meaker has written a very fair account of their relationship, neither whitewashing Highsmith's bad sides, nor using them as an excuse to erase her own flaws.

[Faith Reidenbach · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's hard to separate my opinion of this book from my opinion of Meaker, which I revised sharply downward after reading this memoir. The publisher bills it as a look into gay New York in the 1950s (the culture of rich white gay people, it's supposed to go without saying), and the book is interesting for that. But mainly, it's interesting as a psychological study of someone who mentions the personal failures and character defects that others have pointed out to her, but who apparently doesn't take responsibility for them.

Meaker (aka Vin Packer, M.E. Kerr, Ann Aldrich, and Mary James) is prolific but a B- or C-list writer, whereas Highsmith was one of the great writers of the 20th century. Meaker spends a lot of energy suggesting that their writing is on a par with Highsmith's, not just in 1959-1961 when they were lovers but also now. She paints Highsmith as an alcoholic (which she was) and complains that she (Meaker) had to drink too much to keep up, but even writing in the early years of this century she seems to be unfamiliar with the concepts of co-alcoholism, enabling, or codependence.

Meaker was pathologically afraid that Highsmith might return to a certain former lover. For example, Meaker had to be talked down from having that woman's mail forwarded to her own address so she could tell whether Highsmith was writing to her. Yet she never agreed to take one of the steps the other woman had taken to keep Highsmith happy, which was to travel to the European countries that Highsmith loved. Instead, Meaker convinced Highsmith to move to "the country" (Bucks County, PA), where she could have her to herself, then blames their isolation for the end of their relationship.

The memoir ends with a fascinating 4-day reunion between Meaker and Highsmith, near the end of Highsmith's life. Meaker wishes to emphasize Highsmith's racism and anti-Semitism—she alludes to having kept written records of what Highsmith said. But she also describes spectacularly self-centered acts of her own without seeming to realize how bad her behavior was and how she took advantage of Highsmith. I left this book wanting to read more of Highsmith and have nothing more to do with Meaker.

[Lucy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this book up in ‘Gays The Word’ bookshop; it was a choice between this book and a huge biography also on Patricia Highsmith. When the movie 'The Talented Mr Ripley' came out I was unaware of her or any of her work. I didn't like the film as it portrayed a gay man as a murderer. I thought it was just a typical portrayal of gay people as evil characters so took an instant dislike to the film. It wasn't until years later that I realised the author was in fact herself gay, when I read her book 'Carol'. So I decided this book would give me a better insight into her character.

I enjoyed the book; I felt Marijane Meaker told it as it was - a two year relationship with a temperamental alcoholic author. I got involved in the characters; I wanted the relationship to survive even though I knew it hadn't.

It starts in a lesbian bar in New York where the two meet and then takes you on the journey that was their two year relationship, the gay friends they had and the closet cases they knew.

I thought the life they made for themselves in Pennsylvania sounded so idyllic when they first moved into the house, these two women moving in together at a time when that wasn't really done, very big and bold. I loved the imagery of them sitting on their front step awaiting the arrival of the removal men, considering their future together. So I was sad when the relationship suddenly ended.

At the end of the book you get to see the woman Patricia Highsmith had become, sadly not a very attractive image. I enjoyed the book; it gives you real insight into what it was like to be a lesbian in New York City in the early 60's.

I think I would have thoroughly enjoyed the world during that era.

[carlageek · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this memoir of her three-year relationship with the writer Patricia Highsmith, Marijane Meaker offers a very dishy mixture of juicy, romantic reminiscences and remorseless armchair psychoanalysis of her subject. Meaker is brutally honest about herself, too, confessing her own errors of judgment and trust that ultimately unraveled their relationship. Indeed, it becomes a tough read as the relationship implodes, because it all seems so sad and preventable, this squandering of what must have been a pretty electric connection. And the epilogue is even more painful, picking up a quarter of a century later with a harrowing picture of Highsmith at the end of her life, given to paranoid rants, broken from lung cancer, and nearly deranged by a lifetime of hard, hard drinking.

But the real treasure in this book - even more than the engaging humanity of the two women - is the priceless record of gay life in and around New York City in the late 1950s and early 60s. From the rotation of gay-owned and gay-friendly bars and restaurants in the Village, to the uptown restaurants that would not admit women in trousers (no matter how dapper a cravat Highsmith might have worn with hers), to the fledgling scene on Fire Island, there is much fascinating chronicle here.

[Frankie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This memoir reads like lesbian pulp fiction and I was ENGROSSED. Utterly obsessed with Patricia Highsmith now, wow. This book paints a vivid picture of 1950s queer NYC. I learned so many cool things:

-Highsmith dated Vin Packer, one of the most famous lesbian pulp authors (and author of this memoir)
-she was also friends with Filipino writer José Garcia Villa who was apparently gay???
-she was friends with tons of queer figures from that era and I wish I could know about them all
-apparently women could be barred from restaurants just for wearing PANTS. And butches could be banned from using both the female and male bathrooms. Honestly, insane that this was only 70 years ago. My grandparents were teenagers then. This is so recent and it blows my mind how much queer history has been forgotten in 2024
-gay businessmen leaving for a weekend trip to Fire Island by wearing "tighter" trousers and cardigans in ice cream colors. So funny. Grandpa gay, things haven't changed!!
-another anecdote about Meaker stumbling towards her Fire Island villa at night, being frightened because she was being followed by a naked man, only for the lights to go on and both of them screaming because he didn't realize she was a woman 😭 helppp
-the anectode about a lesbian couple that set a timer on their lights so that neighbors would think they slept in separate bedrooms... So sad
-highsmith was not a very pleasant person; she was damn cool but also an alcoholic asshole with severe mommy issues. Carol makes so much sense now.
-lesbians have been u-hauling since the 1950s lol
-authors used to make a shitton of money... Comparatively speaking
-mixed (as in MLM and WLW) bars were rarer back then because it was so easy for straight people to stumble inside. But also, gay bar tourism was already a thing in the 50s and you could be outed just for being spotted at gay establishments
-oh and of course, lesbian pulp had to either end in tragedy or the MC becoming straight otherwise the postal service would not deliver the books! Oh publishing.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I flew through this book. I've been fascinated with Patricia Highsmith since I discovered her, and I was very interested in the dynamics between her and Meaker because they were both writers. It's also educational to get a peek at what it was like to be a lesbian in the 50's and 60's. However, the ending was a bit hard to get through because Highsmith became such a racist curmudgeon in her later years. Meaker sort of ended the memoir abruptly with little assessment, and she didn't really take us through (even with broad strokes) her own life after her romance with Highsmith ended. I found I had become invested in Meaker as a person, and I wanted to know more about what her life was like post-Pat. It really revealed that the narrative was very much about Highsmith, and maybe that is indicative of what their relationship was like.

[Juuso · Rating 5 out of 5]

Meaker looks back but not in anger to her romance with Patricia Highsmith in the late 50's. Meaker's writing is as excellent as always and if you are interested in 50's american (well, NY) gay culture and lezzie scene, the book offers a great view right into the heart of that.

[lucy black · Rating 4 out of 5]

So, slightly obsessed with these two women but aslo pretty sure I wouldn't have liked them in real life. This is the story of a love affair during the fifties between Marijane (who later became wellish known as M.E Kerr, a brilliant YA writer) and Patricia Highsmith, the strange and celebrated crime writer. I liked this book in two ways; I liked the almost diary retelling of their lifes and what it was like for queer ladies in the 50s, how they lived, where they went, how they related to each other. I also liked, although I'm sure Meaker didn't intend for this, the underlying story of Meaker's feeling for Highsmith. Her jealousy, her confusion and imitation of Highsmith add a lot to the narrative. Both fascinating characters that you think you have got your head around and then you read the epilogue, yikes...

[Whitney · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't really identify with some of the negative reviews here, because I thought this book was pretty insightful, hilarious even. I'm really glad to have read it, and it makes me like Patricia Highsmith even more. The only part I found disconcerting was the epilogue, which discusses Meaker's meeting with Highsmith in 1992, but even that is, at least, interesting.

[Kathryn Hyde · Rating 3 out of 5]

In the main part I really enjoyed it. Later on it started to feel oddly voyeuristic.

[Jody · Rating 2 out of 5]

In this memoir, Marijane Meaker writes about her tumultuous relationship with Patricia Highsmith. I think what interested me most was that she is also known as the young adult author, ME Kerr. I’ve read several of her books as a teen and enjoyed her writing. I wish I could say the same for this memoir. For lack of a better description, it just seemed like one of those ‘tell-all’ books that was definitely slanted to put Meaker in a favorable light and Highsmith as the drunk, prejudiced, unstable and cruel lover. I felt I had gotten a more balanced perspective of this relationship from the The Talented Miss Highsmith: The Secret Life and Serious Art of Patricia Highsmith.
I don’t regret having read this as it contains some interesting tidbits that I didn’t know about Highsmith and it was a fast read. I’m just not sure whether it's a completely credible account, though. I gave it only two stars for this reason. I feel somewhat protective of Patricia Highsmith now that I've been on a Highsmith bender.

[Gina Rheault · Rating 4 out of 5]

Easy, quick and interesting, its a conversational account of an intense relationship between two very successful mystery/suspense authors who were part of the NYC lesbian scene in the 1960's. For me it was another aspect of Patricia Highsmith's work, her interest in animals, the origins of some of her characters, and how she navigated her life as a member of a then secret, despised gay minority.

But the real surprise for me was Marijane Meaker herself who is still alive today, and who herself made the same journey as Highsmith, ie, writer and lesbian. She is prolific, popular, and well-paid, and to all accounts a pretty nice person, and how the heck have I missed her? Or maybe with all the pseudonyms I have not? This book has spurred my interest in both Marijane Meaker and the 1960's gay scene in NYC.

[Rosamund Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fascinating account of both Highsmith and Meaker's relationship, and of lesbians in New York in the 50s. Meaker's writing style is precise and conversational, and the narrative really flows. I enjoyed her insights into writing, relationship, and the character of Patricia Highsmith.

[Doug · Rating 3 out of 5]

A rather straightforward story of a lesbian literary relationship between two star writers, one who shone brighter than the other.

It is for this reason, i.e., Highsmith's greater fame than the author of this memoir, Marijane Meaker, that I took the story for what it's worth. Not to say that the author is disingenuous, but at times it seemed she softened her own edges while sharpening Highsmith's. When the inevitable breakup comes, seemingly out of nowhere, one wonders why the author couldn't bring herself to write honestly about the jealousy that was almost surely at the base of the split.

Not that as a writer Meaker was any slouch. She wrote popular mysteries and later young adult novels to great success. Still, with Highsmith's "Strangers on a Train" adapted for the classic Hitchcock film, she was the toast of the literary world for a time and cast a much longer shadow than her lover.

Anyone who has read anything about Highsmith's life knows that in later years she became rather disagreeable and unfortunately well-known for the virulent strain of antisemitism that appalled those in her circle and beyond.

But this story -- where two lovers escaped the demanding world of NYC to create their own heaven in rural Bucks County, Pennsylvania -- predates Highsmith's most intense hate for Jews, as well as her general misanthropy that reached epic proportions by the time she checked out. Before her demise the two met at Meaker’s home on Long Island -- this, many years after their tryst -- and she found her former partner's attitudes to be intolerable, leaving her no choice but to distance herself once and for all from the antagonistic Highsmith and her hate-filled rants..

An entertaining enough tale of writers and the publishing world of the '50s (until the later Highsmith appears, her former witty and intelligent personality now destroyed by her hate) the book isn't a tell-all, which tends to work against it: "So-and-so who worked at a well-known literary magazine..." type entries leave the reader in the dark or feeling that only a small part of the big picture is being offered.

Ultimately, Meaker's story is tastefully, if blandly, rendered, while so many details seem to be missing that I didn't believe I got either the author or Highsmith in full, but only in misty and sometimes vanishing outline.

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have trust issues with memoirs and their writers, which can at times feel like unreliable narrators. (Did these people really say these things?) But I am a raging fan of the history of lesbian literature and in that regard this was such a heartwarming, eye-opening read. Having read works by both these authors, and understanding their differences as writers, made this all the more satisfying.

Barring the very real possibility that Meaker’s writing of Highsmith was blurred through the lens of time, and possibly her own self-consciousness when it came to being compared to Highsmith, she wrote so lovingly of their brief partnership and of ‘Pat’ herself that I found myself rooting for them even when I knew things didn’t work out in the end. (Marijane, you selfish darling, why didn’t you just go to Paris?)

This reads as a deeply impressionistic event in Meaker’s life. She paints a lively, vivid picture of gay times in NY in the 1950s; I learned many new things surrounding the culture in that period. Meaker writes in a way that feels smart and charming, romantic and reminiscent. There were a number of witty anecdotes that I found myself smiling or outright laughing at.

There are glaring issues present between both parties (infidelity, racism, anti-semitism) that feel at times poorly addressed. Although writing so candidly about these ugly truths may be part of the memoir process, the epilogue was such a hard section to swallow. The things said there may have been completely true, they may have been exaggerated (herein lies my trust issues), their inclusion is understandable yet sour. The epilogue sits at the end of the book, near the end of their lives, seemingly as Meaker’s somber reminder that there were some things they never would have ‘gotten past’.

Regardless, what a reader will get out of this depends on what they go into it looking for. For me there remains a deep respect for both of these authors who helped pave the way for lesbian storytelling. The fact that they had romance together, however brief, still warms my heart and blows my mind. I loved having this personal look into that rapport.

[Sandra de Helen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This memoir by Ms. Meaker is a tell-all about her two year relationship with Patricia Highsmith. She knew Pat, as she was called, as well as anyone. M. J. had a crush on Pat long before she knew her, in fact wanted to be her before they met. Although Pat was published in hard cover, and more well-known, M. J. made more money from her own work than Pat ever did. M. J. had many pseudonyms: Vin Packer, M. E. Kerr, Ann Aldrich and others. Her Vin Packer books were reviewed in the NY Times, just as Pat's were. Still, she looked up to Pat, and became insanely jealous after a time. It was the jealousy that ended their relationship. Unlike most lesbian couples, they did not remain friends. Pat's anti-semitism drove the final nail in that coffin. Well written, interesting, great detail about place, time, and people.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well if this isn't a book that makes you say "boy, Pat Highsmith sure was a piece of work" I'm not sure what will be. But I'm personally in the small literary minority who will read this book with a greater interest in Marijane Meaker's literary output than Highsmiths. I being a reader of lesbian history more than of mystery novels. And this seemed a fair treatment of Highsmith's abundant flaws. But it was more so appreciable as a treatment of the experience of looking back on one of the great loves of one's life with the benefit of hindsight and the opportunity to revisit that relationship. And I think it gave me enough of that, in the end - especially in its epilogue. I wish this were a more complete memoir of Meaker's experiences, personally. But this encapsulation of her relationship with Highsmith was very worthwhile.

[alessandra falca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Se quando trovi un libro della Highsmith, che ne ha scritti tantissimi, lo leggi con piacere, cosa dire di questo libro che racconta la storia di Pat con Mj, nell'America di fine anni '50?
Un personaggio complesso, la Highsmith: alcolista, instabile, mancina, amante dei gatti, scrittrice. Soprattutto scrittrice. Anche lei relegata alla letteratura di genere mentre invece era molto di più. Scapperà infine dall'America, per andare a vivere in Europa dove si era sempre trovata bene (in Francia, in Italia, in Germania, in Svizzera) e dove è stata accolta meglio rispetto al suo paese d'origine. Se non avete mai letto la Highsmith cercatela tra le bancarelle dell'usato e qualunque libro comprerete non sbaglierete.

[Holly LaPat · Rating 4 out of 5]

This wasn't as satisfying for me as the author's short autobiography (written as M.E. Kerr), but it offers more candid insights into her personal life. It deals with a two-year relationship that we know didn't last. That's probably why a certain melancholy hangs over it. It vividly reflects the day-to-day lives of two writers during the 1950s, and it's interesting to see their different attitudes about the social mores of the times. The book doesn't put a neat bow on the relationship by defining why it didn't work out, or what came out of the experience, but I think that's deliberate. The author isn't a fan of tidy endings in her fiction, and real life is naturally messier than that.

[Amris · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5
I really enjoyed reading about the queer New York subculture of the late 1950s, but I found that the depiction of Highsmith and Meaker's relationship really fizzled in the latter half of the book. The epilogue was so detailed and dramatic, and I wish that level of detail and energy was consistent throughout the book. However- the epilogue covers a short reunion between the exes in the early 90s, 10 years before the book was published. The rest of the memoir covers their fairly short relationship over 40 years before, which probably explains the lack of detail.

[Kaori Hall · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked up this book to meet an author I recently have come to adore, Pat Highsmith. But now I know that she was a huge bigot.

Meaker tells stories of things that happened during and after her relationship with Pat, venerating her while also pointing out many of her flaws. I'm glad I read this after reading The Price of Salt and before I read any of MJ's books from during the fifties, as I now somewhat know the headspace she must have been in and her biggest pet peeves she chose to write about.

[Brett · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eh, whatever. The remembrances of an old flame - who knows what the years have done for the memories. I always wonder when people write about being in close proximity to someone from their past who is famous how much is embellished - especially when most of the end of this relationship happened in some remote house in Bucks, Co. PA. All I know is more people read Highsmith's worst book than read Meaker's best. Scoreboard: Highsmith.

[Jules · Rating 4 out of 5]

Was looking for a building in Highsmith but this is all my library has. Wow! What a cool book to come across. This has so much lesbian history of New York City (and USA lesbian culture) and the literary crowd between 1940s-70s. This is the soft light side of Stone Butch Blues.

Also I really loved this author and how she wove the story together. Her honesty about her own insecurities and jealousy was refreshing. I'm excited to read more of her work.

[Kay · Rating 4 out of 5]

A light, quick read, and a satisfying piece of scenery as I build up my picture of the gay 1950s.

A line that stuck, about their romance: “I had grown used to her ways and not yet tired of them.” If that isn’t a relationship stage, I don’t know what is.

[Historically Close · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ll say this much… if my ex that I dated for two years went on to almost 50 years later write a biography about what it was like dating me after I already died? I’m rolling in my mf grave. Revive me and kill me a second time. Are u kidding me?

[Kenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very nice, intimate look as to what it was like being gay in the 1950's, among other things. I really enjoyed learning about Patricia Highsmith in such a personal way, as well as Meaker herself

[Steph · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating snapshot of an interesting, complicated woman and
writer and lesbian life in the 50s.

[David Macpherson · Rating 4 out of 5]

A sad incisive look at Patricia Highsmith and the difficulty of being a gay woman in the 1950s. Meaker is a fine writer and this book was excellent.

[Abby Karstrand · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow. That lady sucked.

[Kelly Kittens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Page-turning memoir. Psychology of the torment of an incompatible couple during an oppressive time in history.