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Endpapers
In this page-turning novel set in 2003 New York City, a genderqueer book conservator feels trapped by her gender presentation, her ill-fitting relationship, and her artistic block—until she discovers a decades-old hidden queer love letter and becomes obsessed with tracking down its author.
It's 2003,and artist Dawn Levit is stuck. A bookbinder who works at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, she spends all day repairing old books but hasn’t created anything of her own in years. What’s more, although she doesn’t have a word for it yet, Dawn is genderqueer, and with a partner who wishes she were a man and a society that wants her to be a woman, she’s struggling to feel safe expressing herself. Dawn spends her free time scouting the city’s street art, hoping to find the inspiration that will break her artistic block—and time is of the essence, because she’s making her major gallery debut in six weeks and doesn’t have anything to show yet.
One day at work, Dawn discovers something hidden under the endpapers of an old the torn-off cover of a lesbian pulp novel from the 1950s, with an illustration of a woman looking into a mirror and seeing a man’s face. Even more intriguing is the queer love letter written on the back. Dawn becomes obsessed with tracking down the author of the letter, convinced the mysterious writer can help her find her place in the world. Her fixation only increases when her best friend, Jae, is injured in a hate crime for which Dawn feels responsible. But ultimately for Dawn, the trickiest puzzle to solve is how she truly wants to live her life.
A sharply written, page-turning, and evocative debut, Endpapers is an unforgettable story about the journey toward authenticity and the hard conversations we owe ourselves in pursuit of a world where no one has to hide.
It's 2003,and artist Dawn Levit is stuck. A bookbinder who works at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, she spends all day repairing old books but hasn’t created anything of her own in years. What’s more, although she doesn’t have a word for it yet, Dawn is genderqueer, and with a partner who wishes she were a man and a society that wants her to be a woman, she’s struggling to feel safe expressing herself. Dawn spends her free time scouting the city’s street art, hoping to find the inspiration that will break her artistic block—and time is of the essence, because she’s making her major gallery debut in six weeks and doesn’t have anything to show yet.
One day at work, Dawn discovers something hidden under the endpapers of an old the torn-off cover of a lesbian pulp novel from the 1950s, with an illustration of a woman looking into a mirror and seeing a man’s face. Even more intriguing is the queer love letter written on the back. Dawn becomes obsessed with tracking down the author of the letter, convinced the mysterious writer can help her find her place in the world. Her fixation only increases when her best friend, Jae, is injured in a hate crime for which Dawn feels responsible. But ultimately for Dawn, the trickiest puzzle to solve is how she truly wants to live her life.
A sharply written, page-turning, and evocative debut, Endpapers is an unforgettable story about the journey toward authenticity and the hard conversations we owe ourselves in pursuit of a world where no one has to hide.
336 pages, Hardcover
First published February 7, 2023
58 people are currently reading
11889 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 277 reviews
February 14, 2023
Endpapers by Jennifer Savran Kelly is a stunning genderqueer book that follows one woman as she grapples with her gender identity.
Dawn Levit, an aspiring artist, works as a book conservationist at the Met in NYC. She feels as though she is at a standstill both career-wise and in her relationship with her boyfriend, Lukas. She’s envious of her peers who have already begun their art careers. On top of that, Dawn struggles with finding a balance between her gender identity and expression. Lukas keeps her at a distance and seems to prefer her masculine side. While at work, the thought of dressing more masculine terrifies Dawn, not knowing what her coworkers would think.
With all these thoughts churning in her mind, one day, when repairing a book, Dawn discovers a torn-off book cover from the ‘50’s inserted into the endpapers. The cover depicts a woman looking into a mirror and seeing a man in the reflection with a handwritten love letter on the back.
Dawn becomes obsessed with finding the author of this letter and believes it will help her work through her problems.
This a character-driven story with wholly believable characters. Dawn and Jae will surely capture readers’ hearts.
Endpapers is set in 2003 and discusses the lingering effects of 9/11. It also examines the homophobia and violence rampant in the 50s and their presence still felt decades later.
I knew I would love this book right from the first page. The writing style was immediately engaging. It is literary but with none of the disconnect that I sometimes feel when reading this genre. Parts of it are incredibly sad, but there is hope and light in there, too.
Learning a bit about bookbinding and repair was a nice addition as well.
If you enjoy character-driven novels with vibrant settings, I recommend giving this book a try, it will not disappoint.
Thank you to Algonquin Books for providing me with an arc via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
https://booksandwheels.com
Dawn Levit, an aspiring artist, works as a book conservationist at the Met in NYC. She feels as though she is at a standstill both career-wise and in her relationship with her boyfriend, Lukas. She’s envious of her peers who have already begun their art careers. On top of that, Dawn struggles with finding a balance between her gender identity and expression. Lukas keeps her at a distance and seems to prefer her masculine side. While at work, the thought of dressing more masculine terrifies Dawn, not knowing what her coworkers would think.
With all these thoughts churning in her mind, one day, when repairing a book, Dawn discovers a torn-off book cover from the ‘50’s inserted into the endpapers. The cover depicts a woman looking into a mirror and seeing a man in the reflection with a handwritten love letter on the back.
Dawn becomes obsessed with finding the author of this letter and believes it will help her work through her problems.
This a character-driven story with wholly believable characters. Dawn and Jae will surely capture readers’ hearts.
Endpapers is set in 2003 and discusses the lingering effects of 9/11. It also examines the homophobia and violence rampant in the 50s and their presence still felt decades later.
I knew I would love this book right from the first page. The writing style was immediately engaging. It is literary but with none of the disconnect that I sometimes feel when reading this genre. Parts of it are incredibly sad, but there is hope and light in there, too.
Learning a bit about bookbinding and repair was a nice addition as well.
If you enjoy character-driven novels with vibrant settings, I recommend giving this book a try, it will not disappoint.
Thank you to Algonquin Books for providing me with an arc via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
https://booksandwheels.com
February 4, 2023
Oh, this book. I've just finished it and am floating on a sort of meditative calm it's left me with. Not everything that happens in it is "good," in whatever sense of the word one means—but it's a remarkable novel of coming into one's own.
The central character, Dawn, born female, but in terms of identity non-binary, is an artist who works as a book restorer in the Met Museum in 2003—only two years after 9/11. They are so uncertain about how to be themselves that they continually attempt both to meet and to rebel against others' expectations. At roughly 24 years old, Dawn is still doing a lot of navel gazing, but with good reason given the time, place, and body they're living in. When they discover a love letter written in German from one woman to another, and secreted beneath the endpaper of a book they're restoring, Dawn become obsessed with finding the the writer and the recipient of the letter and learning their stories.
This isn't one of those tidy, lost-letter-leads-to-everyone-singing-Kumbaya-at-the-wedding-reception sort of novels. It's a genuine-imperfect-people-who-simultaneously-question-themselves-and fumble-about-trying-to-make-the-right-choices sort of novel. One gets impatient with the characters at times, but one never loses affection for them.
Today, most people grasp the concept of non-binary, even if they don't "understand" it. Twenty years ago that wasn't the case. In 2003 "non-binary" hadn't yet entered the everyday lexicon—and how can they be themselves when there's no word for who they are?
This title is an absolute must-read: clear-eyed, compassionate, and making real an identity that is still relatively rare in the world of mainstream fiction.
I received a free electronic review copy of this title from the publisher via NetGalley; the opinions are my own.
The central character, Dawn, born female, but in terms of identity non-binary, is an artist who works as a book restorer in the Met Museum in 2003—only two years after 9/11. They are so uncertain about how to be themselves that they continually attempt both to meet and to rebel against others' expectations. At roughly 24 years old, Dawn is still doing a lot of navel gazing, but with good reason given the time, place, and body they're living in. When they discover a love letter written in German from one woman to another, and secreted beneath the endpaper of a book they're restoring, Dawn become obsessed with finding the the writer and the recipient of the letter and learning their stories.
This isn't one of those tidy, lost-letter-leads-to-everyone-singing-Kumbaya-at-the-wedding-reception sort of novels. It's a genuine-imperfect-people-who-simultaneously-question-themselves-and fumble-about-trying-to-make-the-right-choices sort of novel. One gets impatient with the characters at times, but one never loses affection for them.
Today, most people grasp the concept of non-binary, even if they don't "understand" it. Twenty years ago that wasn't the case. In 2003 "non-binary" hadn't yet entered the everyday lexicon—and how can they be themselves when there's no word for who they are?
This title is an absolute must-read: clear-eyed, compassionate, and making real an identity that is still relatively rare in the world of mainstream fiction.
I received a free electronic review copy of this title from the publisher via NetGalley; the opinions are my own.
August 1, 2023
The basic idea is great: It's 2001, and Dawn, a book conservator, struggles with her genderqueer identity (the book uses female pronouns for Dawn). Not only do her parents and her surroundings have a hard time grappling with the concept, her genderqueer partner's desires and her own also start to diverge. At work at the Met, Dawn discovers a secret message in the endpapers of a vintage lesbian pulp novel - and she starts searching for the author, Gertrude, who turns out to be a woman who fled Nazi Germany with her family and, in 1950's America, dreamed of a city where everyone could be free no matter their gender. But Gertrude is haunted by a dark secret...
The pacing of the book is painfully slow, which is a shame, because the questions it revolves around are all very interesting: What trauma haunts Gertrude? What's up with her ideas from the 1950's? Will Dawn find her identity and become the artist she aspires to be? There is too much filler material though, too many drawn out scenes, and the pacing is off. I liked how the text tackled the trope of the tragic lesbian / genderqueer person and shows how the characters try to fight the idea that their existence cannot be joyful, while also being to submitted to discrimination, which is of course the true root of their misery, not their queer identity as such.
It's also great that this novel takes an intensely personal perspective, illuminating the very close space around the characters instead of taking on a wide political agenda - of course, these spheres are interconnected, but to portray the effects of an abstract discussion on very concrete people is important and effective.
I just wish this text had some more panache, speed, and power - it's a little too tame.
The pacing of the book is painfully slow, which is a shame, because the questions it revolves around are all very interesting: What trauma haunts Gertrude? What's up with her ideas from the 1950's? Will Dawn find her identity and become the artist she aspires to be? There is too much filler material though, too many drawn out scenes, and the pacing is off. I liked how the text tackled the trope of the tragic lesbian / genderqueer person and shows how the characters try to fight the idea that their existence cannot be joyful, while also being to submitted to discrimination, which is of course the true root of their misery, not their queer identity as such.
It's also great that this novel takes an intensely personal perspective, illuminating the very close space around the characters instead of taking on a wide political agenda - of course, these spheres are interconnected, but to portray the effects of an abstract discussion on very concrete people is important and effective.
I just wish this text had some more panache, speed, and power - it's a little too tame.
March 19, 2023
Thank you to the author Jennifer Savran Kelly, publishers Algonquin Books and Workman Publishing Co., and as always NetGalley, for an advance digital copy of ENDPAPERS.
Dawn has commitment issues. She isn't sure how she feels about almost ever major factor in her life, and each of them, one by one, suddenly require her attention and focus. Dawn is genderqueer and, perhaps central to the rest of her commitment issues, she's struggling with the question of how to express her gender to herself, and consequently, the world. She doesn't know how she feels about her boyfriend, Lukas, but knows for them both something has to change. She doesn't know if she likes her work anymore, and agonizes about gender conforming when she's there. She doesn't know how to continue with her art, how to express herself there when she has closed down so many other channels inside her. She knows only that she loves her friends, Jae and Gertrude, and they center Dawn, and this book. Through the growth of those relationships, Dawn faces her inability to commit and all the pain it caused in her life.
As you might be able to tell from my description of this book above, the form of this novel is pretty brilliant. Like a hurricane of indecision with the three main relationships being the eye of calm through the middle. The pacing is fantastic. The tension builds steadily toward the major plot points. The ending feels predictable, but in a way that's intended. As if to say, after everything Dawn has been through, she's earned a little predictability.
This is my trigger warning for terrible violence against queer people, hospitalization for violence, post violence injuries, and ptsd descriptions.
Rating: 📖📖📖📖📖 / 5 antique books
Recommend? Absolutely!
Finished: March 15 2023
Read this if you like:
🏳️🌈 LGBT+ rep
🏳️⚧️ Trans rep
📚 Book binding
🌃 New York
🎨 Art (collage)
Dawn has commitment issues. She isn't sure how she feels about almost ever major factor in her life, and each of them, one by one, suddenly require her attention and focus. Dawn is genderqueer and, perhaps central to the rest of her commitment issues, she's struggling with the question of how to express her gender to herself, and consequently, the world. She doesn't know how she feels about her boyfriend, Lukas, but knows for them both something has to change. She doesn't know if she likes her work anymore, and agonizes about gender conforming when she's there. She doesn't know how to continue with her art, how to express herself there when she has closed down so many other channels inside her. She knows only that she loves her friends, Jae and Gertrude, and they center Dawn, and this book. Through the growth of those relationships, Dawn faces her inability to commit and all the pain it caused in her life.
As you might be able to tell from my description of this book above, the form of this novel is pretty brilliant. Like a hurricane of indecision with the three main relationships being the eye of calm through the middle. The pacing is fantastic. The tension builds steadily toward the major plot points. The ending feels predictable, but in a way that's intended. As if to say, after everything Dawn has been through, she's earned a little predictability.
This is my trigger warning for terrible violence against queer people, hospitalization for violence, post violence injuries, and ptsd descriptions.
Rating: 📖📖📖📖📖 / 5 antique books
Recommend? Absolutely!
Finished: March 15 2023
Read this if you like:
🏳️🌈 LGBT+ rep
🏳️⚧️ Trans rep
📚 Book binding
🌃 New York
🎨 Art (collage)
March 4, 2024
"Sometimes, being lost is an opportunity."
This incredible book snuck up on me. It's an honest and fascinating character study of a mid-20s struggling artist and bookbinder named Dawn. Dawn is a gender fluid bi Jewish person living in Brooklyn with her boyfriend (also bi). She isn't sure how to get out of her artist's block, she isn't sure about how to embody her gender fluidity, she isn't sure how to support her best friend who is in the hospital, and she isn't sure whether her current relationship fits her anymore.
When she discovers a queer love letter written on the back of a lesbian pulp novel cover from the fifties -- hidden inside the endpapers of a book she's repairing at work -- she becomes obsessed with finding the woman who wrote it, thinking talking to her will somehow help her self actualize.
We are firmly in Dawn's perspective the whole novel; when she feels uncomfortable or self-doubting -- which unfortunately for her is not uncommon -- it is visceral. But when she triumphs, it feels like you are too. Despite her many mistakes, I often wanted to give Dawn a hug (as well as a push in the right direction).
The story is set in 2003, after 9/11, and there's a clear connection made between that era of government surveillance, nationalism, and hate to the McCarthyism and institutionalized homophobia the letter writer experienced in the 50s. The book also has a lot to say about the process of art making, gender identity and presentation, and how to live an authentic life.
I loved this book! Recommended as an audiobook read by Dani Martineck, who does a wonderful job mirroring Dawn's moods and gender expressions, as well as doing unique voices for supporting characters. Martineck also performs Dead Collections by Isaac Fellman, one of my favourite books from 2022 -- check that out too!
Content warning: two scenes of homophobic violence.
This incredible book snuck up on me. It's an honest and fascinating character study of a mid-20s struggling artist and bookbinder named Dawn. Dawn is a gender fluid bi Jewish person living in Brooklyn with her boyfriend (also bi). She isn't sure how to get out of her artist's block, she isn't sure about how to embody her gender fluidity, she isn't sure how to support her best friend who is in the hospital, and she isn't sure whether her current relationship fits her anymore.
When she discovers a queer love letter written on the back of a lesbian pulp novel cover from the fifties -- hidden inside the endpapers of a book she's repairing at work -- she becomes obsessed with finding the woman who wrote it, thinking talking to her will somehow help her self actualize.
We are firmly in Dawn's perspective the whole novel; when she feels uncomfortable or self-doubting -- which unfortunately for her is not uncommon -- it is visceral. But when she triumphs, it feels like you are too. Despite her many mistakes, I often wanted to give Dawn a hug (as well as a push in the right direction).
The story is set in 2003, after 9/11, and there's a clear connection made between that era of government surveillance, nationalism, and hate to the McCarthyism and institutionalized homophobia the letter writer experienced in the 50s. The book also has a lot to say about the process of art making, gender identity and presentation, and how to live an authentic life.
I loved this book! Recommended as an audiobook read by Dani Martineck, who does a wonderful job mirroring Dawn's moods and gender expressions, as well as doing unique voices for supporting characters. Martineck also performs Dead Collections by Isaac Fellman, one of my favourite books from 2022 -- check that out too!
Content warning: two scenes of homophobic violence.
April 21, 2023
gender✨
read as part of 202-Queer 🌈✨
april reading: 17/26
read as part of 202-Queer 🌈✨
april reading: 17/26
Read
December 16, 2022I really love books about gender identity exploration done thoughtfully and with nuance, and while I've found a few in YA, I think this is the first one I've read in adult that's really centered on it A) outside in the binary and B) in literary fiction. I can already tell I'll be recommending this one a lot, and it was an extra delightful surprise to find that it's Jewish as well.
I did think it was going to be more about books and less about art, as far as creative passions of the main character - I understand how the bookbinding plays in and also that it's an art form in itself, and I'm not saying it's a flaw of the book but a case of my own mismanaged expectations, perhaps? Like I was really amped up for a character like Joe from You (in this element specifically, obviously) and Dawn is not that, but if you're very into visual arts, I think this will be a pleasant surprise for you. Anyway, I definitely recommend it!
I did think it was going to be more about books and less about art, as far as creative passions of the main character - I understand how the bookbinding plays in and also that it's an art form in itself, and I'm not saying it's a flaw of the book but a case of my own mismanaged expectations, perhaps? Like I was really amped up for a character like Joe from You (in this element specifically, obviously) and Dawn is not that, but if you're very into visual arts, I think this will be a pleasant surprise for you. Anyway, I definitely recommend it!
February 9, 2023
I really wanted to like it being about a non-binary person as it is but the prose and the politics are way too simple, so much so that the novel gives off very YA vibes and that wasn't what I expected nor wanted.
April 19, 2023
So hard to figure out what to say about this book. I liked it, for the most part, I just kept wanting more from the characters.
Jae was such a lovely character and I was right there with Dawn being worried about him, but ultimately we don't get to know a whole lot about him, since he was absent for the second half of the book for no real reason imo. I would have loved for him and Dawn to actually talk about their issues, maybe even have Dawn finally open up to someone about her dysphoria and gender identity. Though I absolutely would have settled for an actual conversation about what Jae wants out of life, why he and Dawn are even friends and what's keeping them apart while also holding them together now. Instead I'm left with this vague knowledge that things are going to be better, but I don't even understand why they were struggling in the first place.
Lukas felt entirely too inconsequential for how important he supposedly is to Dawn. Their relationship didn't at all feel like something worth fighting for and so I didn't care about the issues they were having. I also think his characterization was very insensitive, Dawn kept thinking how he "doesn't react like a normal human being would" and blaming him for not being in love with her. Well, maybe that is something you should address? We're supposed to believe that they've been together for quite a while and yet their relationship feels absolutely undefined while Dawn whines about how much she loves him... In a character based story, I just need some more insight.
Dawn is a very engaging character. She struggles with her gender identity, feels unwelcome in queer spaces while also struggling to connect with straight peers, she struggles with her art, her life, her parents, religion, basically: She's struggling. Very relatable all around. But the thing is- she supposedly grows during the course of the story and beyond. We leave her in a place where she seems to have finally come to terms that she's never going to figure herself out if she doesn't allow herself to figure herself out and while I found this ultimately hopeful message a nice ending, it didn't leave me very satisfied. I just wanted more! Dawn has a few wonderful people around her and I get that she doesn't feel ready or comfortable to talk to any of them about her brand of queerness, isn't allowing herself to open up to anyone in that way, but this whole story is about her coming to terms with that- and then we don't even truly get to see it.
Maybe this boils down to me not really being a fan of subtlety (or able to pick up on hints), but I would have loved some more actual talk, even if it was just a true inner monologue.
Still, I loved the bookbinding parts and the art parts and all of Dawn's inner struggle, I even loved her obsession with the letter she finds and her interactions with the dying old lady (yes, I have forgotten the name, sue me). Her story was so tragic and intriguing and I, once again, would have loved just a tad bit more detail.
Overall I did enjoy reading this book. It's quiet and relatively calm with a few bad situations and tragic moments, various instances of queerphobia and two homophobia related hate crimes that were very hard to stomach. The book addresses racism in the US after 9/11 and deals heavily with internalized transphobia. It's not exactly an easy read, but it also doesn't leave you hopeless or depressed.
It is a bit too shallow for my personal enjoyment, I would have loved to get to know our characters and their relationships even more.
The genderqueer part felt very organic and realistic to me and I'm glad we got to see at least some moments of mild gender euphoria (though please take my statement on this with a grain of salt as I am not genderqueer myself).
Jae was such a lovely character and I was right there with Dawn being worried about him, but ultimately we don't get to know a whole lot about him, since he was absent for the second half of the book for no real reason imo. I would have loved for him and Dawn to actually talk about their issues, maybe even have Dawn finally open up to someone about her dysphoria and gender identity. Though I absolutely would have settled for an actual conversation about what Jae wants out of life, why he and Dawn are even friends and what's keeping them apart while also holding them together now. Instead I'm left with this vague knowledge that things are going to be better, but I don't even understand why they were struggling in the first place.
Lukas felt entirely too inconsequential for how important he supposedly is to Dawn. Their relationship didn't at all feel like something worth fighting for and so I didn't care about the issues they were having. I also think his characterization was very insensitive, Dawn kept thinking how he "doesn't react like a normal human being would" and blaming him for not being in love with her. Well, maybe that is something you should address? We're supposed to believe that they've been together for quite a while and yet their relationship feels absolutely undefined while Dawn whines about how much she loves him... In a character based story, I just need some more insight.
Dawn is a very engaging character. She struggles with her gender identity, feels unwelcome in queer spaces while also struggling to connect with straight peers, she struggles with her art, her life, her parents, religion, basically: She's struggling. Very relatable all around. But the thing is- she supposedly grows during the course of the story and beyond. We leave her in a place where she seems to have finally come to terms that she's never going to figure herself out if she doesn't allow herself to figure herself out and while I found this ultimately hopeful message a nice ending, it didn't leave me very satisfied. I just wanted more! Dawn has a few wonderful people around her and I get that she doesn't feel ready or comfortable to talk to any of them about her brand of queerness, isn't allowing herself to open up to anyone in that way, but this whole story is about her coming to terms with that- and then we don't even truly get to see it.
Maybe this boils down to me not really being a fan of subtlety (or able to pick up on hints), but I would have loved some more actual talk, even if it was just a true inner monologue.
Still, I loved the bookbinding parts and the art parts and all of Dawn's inner struggle, I even loved her obsession with the letter she finds and her interactions with the dying old lady (yes, I have forgotten the name, sue me). Her story was so tragic and intriguing and I, once again, would have loved just a tad bit more detail.
Overall I did enjoy reading this book. It's quiet and relatively calm with a few bad situations and tragic moments, various instances of queerphobia and two homophobia related hate crimes that were very hard to stomach. The book addresses racism in the US after 9/11 and deals heavily with internalized transphobia. It's not exactly an easy read, but it also doesn't leave you hopeless or depressed.
It is a bit too shallow for my personal enjoyment, I would have loved to get to know our characters and their relationships even more.
The genderqueer part felt very organic and realistic to me and I'm glad we got to see at least some moments of mild gender euphoria (though please take my statement on this with a grain of salt as I am not genderqueer myself).
February 24, 2023
TITLE: ENDPAPERS
AUTHOR: Jennifer Savran Kelly
PUB DATE: 02.07.2023 Preorder now
SYNOPSIS: An accessible, character-driven story set in 2003 New York City about a genderqueer book conservator who feels trapped by her gender presentation, her ill-fitting relationship, and her artistic block, as she discovers a decades-old hidden queer love letter and becomes obsessed with tracking down its author.
Thoughts:
I loved it!
Endpapers is a story about gender identity and a coming of age story with adult characters, yay finally. In this intimate and emotional portrait of a book binder who is looking for inspiration, Dawn discovers a love letter written behind a lesbian pulp novel cover, hidden in the endpaper of an old book. In search for answers and quest to live an authentic life, this beautiful novel portrays a life of a genderqueer, Jewish New Yorker in a compelling and satisfying story. I love the writing, the character driven plot, and how engaging the story is. I am so glad to have had the chance to read this fantastic story.
AUTHOR: Jennifer Savran Kelly
PUB DATE: 02.07.2023 Preorder now
SYNOPSIS: An accessible, character-driven story set in 2003 New York City about a genderqueer book conservator who feels trapped by her gender presentation, her ill-fitting relationship, and her artistic block, as she discovers a decades-old hidden queer love letter and becomes obsessed with tracking down its author.
Thoughts:
I loved it!
Endpapers is a story about gender identity and a coming of age story with adult characters, yay finally. In this intimate and emotional portrait of a book binder who is looking for inspiration, Dawn discovers a love letter written behind a lesbian pulp novel cover, hidden in the endpaper of an old book. In search for answers and quest to live an authentic life, this beautiful novel portrays a life of a genderqueer, Jewish New Yorker in a compelling and satisfying story. I love the writing, the character driven plot, and how engaging the story is. I am so glad to have had the chance to read this fantastic story.
April 5, 2023
This was a really great debut featuring a Jewish genderqueer/trans book conservator living in post 9/11 NYC who finds a note in a book they're working on and goes to great lengths to find out who wrote it and who it was written for. Featuring a cast of queer characters, this book has amazing trans rep with a bookish mystery in the vein of Possession. Great on audio narrated by Dani Martineck.
November 18, 2022
Dawn is uncomfortable, defensive, awkward at times, incredibly creative, full of love, and very, very real. We've all been Dawn, in some fashion, or know and love someone who is just like her. And that's before we even talk about gender expression or identity.
What makes this book so powerful is that it is about a genderqueer person and it's also about how a person finds themselves and the painful process that often is. Acceptance of oneself, for a variety of reasons, can be so very hard, and when you're surrounded by a society who says you aren't okay in your own skin, it can feel impossible.
Thank you, Jennifer Savran Kelly, for writing this story. I want Dawn's artwork to exist in real life, so that I can see it with my own eyes. Thank you for evoking that feeling. Thank you for talking about pieces of world and American history that we pretend (or actually think) doesn't exist.
What makes this book so powerful is that it is about a genderqueer person and it's also about how a person finds themselves and the painful process that often is. Acceptance of oneself, for a variety of reasons, can be so very hard, and when you're surrounded by a society who says you aren't okay in your own skin, it can feel impossible.
Thank you, Jennifer Savran Kelly, for writing this story. I want Dawn's artwork to exist in real life, so that I can see it with my own eyes. Thank you for evoking that feeling. Thank you for talking about pieces of world and American history that we pretend (or actually think) doesn't exist.
June 28, 2023
I can't believe this book wasn't on my radar at all. Someone returned it at the library last week and I happened to read the blurb, not because the cover pinged my gaydar, but because I'd been having a conversation recently about what endpapers are. This seemed like a magical coincidence, especially since I've been struggling to find books that speak to me. The blurb of this practically yelled at me to read it: gender! books! secrets! lesbian pulp!
While this didn't grab my heart fully, it did end up speaking to me. It felt familiar, yet new. I've read many stories of hidden history with struggling protagonists who meet the older person at the heart of these secrets, but this book felt messier, more real. That aspect wasn't the sole focus, either.
For me, this was a timely exploration of how to be more honest, how to trust one's self and the people in one's life. I left the book wishing Dawn a happy future, and kind of regretful that I could not be there to see it.
While this didn't grab my heart fully, it did end up speaking to me. It felt familiar, yet new. I've read many stories of hidden history with struggling protagonists who meet the older person at the heart of these secrets, but this book felt messier, more real. That aspect wasn't the sole focus, either.
For me, this was a timely exploration of how to be more honest, how to trust one's self and the people in one's life. I left the book wishing Dawn a happy future, and kind of regretful that I could not be there to see it.
November 12, 2022
Originally, I gave this debut novel 4 start, then wanted to puff it out to 4.5, so I opted to go the full 5. Why? Because this book checked a lot of boxes.
✅ Engaging story
✅ A main character who was completely human
✅ A complicated relationship that more about convenience than love (to which I totally relate)
✅ Exposure to a world I know very little about
✅ Taught me about a specialized skill without confusing me
It's a wholly gratifying, endearing, heartbreaking, and breathtaking novel.
✅ Engaging story
✅ A main character who was completely human
✅ A complicated relationship that more about convenience than love (to which I totally relate)
✅ Exposure to a world I know very little about
✅ Taught me about a specialized skill without confusing me
It's a wholly gratifying, endearing, heartbreaking, and breathtaking novel.
Read
March 4, 2023I am not sure if I liked this or not. I think the premise is interesting, but it wasn't a compelling story, despite having the potential to be one. I didn't particularly like any of the characters, with the exception of Gertrude, but also I can't tell if that's because I'm not supposed to like them or if the writing is just kind of "meh."
January 26, 2023
Thank you to Netgalley for an ARC in exchange for my honest review.
4 stars, for the moment. I may change that rating after I’ve had some time for this novel to sink into my bones a bit more, because I feel like there was so much to it that I haven’t fully sorted out internally.
I found the main character, Dawn, both endlessly frustrating and somehow endearing. Her friends were beautiful accompaniments, while feeling like full characters in their own rights. The writing was easy, at times stunning, and I flew through the pages. Dawn’s journey in regards to her gender sometimes felt almost like voyeurism, with its vulnerability, and the starkness with which her struggles were painted. I enjoyed it immensely, but I have a feeling this will be a polarizing read.
4 stars, for the moment. I may change that rating after I’ve had some time for this novel to sink into my bones a bit more, because I feel like there was so much to it that I haven’t fully sorted out internally.
I found the main character, Dawn, both endlessly frustrating and somehow endearing. Her friends were beautiful accompaniments, while feeling like full characters in their own rights. The writing was easy, at times stunning, and I flew through the pages. Dawn’s journey in regards to her gender sometimes felt almost like voyeurism, with its vulnerability, and the starkness with which her struggles were painted. I enjoyed it immensely, but I have a feeling this will be a polarizing read.
March 25, 2023
You had me at gender-queer-bookbinder-discovers-secret-love-letter-and-chases-down-little-old-people-who-ran-away-from-the-Nazis!
December 17, 2023
I enjoyed this right up until the end when I found myself thinking “that doesn’t sound like the proper way to put endpapers on.”
So, you know, if you’re wondering if I can still be an insufferable git who ignores a bit of artistic license to support a story, because her brain wants so badly to be right, the answer is yes.
Seriously, though, I was really troubled by how self-obsessed Dawn was, especially where Gertrude was concerned. Dawn becomes “obsessed” with Gertrude’s life and tracks her down, then seemingly is more interested in the fictional story she’s created for Gertrude than the real one that’s happening right in front of her. Dawn! This sick elderly woman has told you she’s in hospice and you keep forgetting to call her back? She gives you her time, her advice, an irreplaceable gift, and you just think “well, that was nice”?!
So, you know, if you’re wondering if I can still be an insufferable git who ignores a bit of artistic license to support a story, because her brain wants so badly to be right, the answer is yes.
Seriously, though, I was really troubled by how self-obsessed Dawn was, especially where Gertrude was concerned. Dawn becomes “obsessed” with Gertrude’s life and tracks her down, then seemingly is more interested in the fictional story she’s created for Gertrude than the real one that’s happening right in front of her. Dawn! This sick elderly woman has told you she’s in hospice and you keep forgetting to call her back? She gives you her time, her advice, an irreplaceable gift, and you just think “well, that was nice”?!
March 11, 2023
Character driven novel, in which Dawn is exploring her gender identity and comes across a note in a book which leads her to a connection across the decades. I wish the author had gone a little deeper with the character, but overall a good read.
April 23, 2023
Endpapers are a literary mystery about a genderqueer bookbinder struggling in her artistic life, her relationship, and her gender identity. It's set in the early 2000s before pronouns or other identifiers such as nonbinary or genderqueer. Near the beginning of the book, Dawn, the main character, finds a letter underneath the endpapers of a book that she's repairing at work. It's on the back of the torn-off cover of a lesbian pulp novel from the 1950s. It's a love letter from one girl to another. That's all she knows because it's written in German. This sets her on a journey to find out who wrote this letter and how their life unfolded, hoping that it might help Dawn make sense of her identity and the issues she's having.
The book is written in the first person, present tense. It's a story of Dawn's journey towards self-discovery and self-acceptance. The story was compelling - some mystery, the intricacies of relationships, and the gender and identity issues we face today. Although Dawn is an adult, the themes in the book resemble a coming-of-age story because it's about a girl coming to terms with her sexuality and finding out who she is.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://www.momsdonthavetimetoreadboo...
The book is written in the first person, present tense. It's a story of Dawn's journey towards self-discovery and self-acceptance. The story was compelling - some mystery, the intricacies of relationships, and the gender and identity issues we face today. Although Dawn is an adult, the themes in the book resemble a coming-of-age story because it's about a girl coming to terms with her sexuality and finding out who she is.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://www.momsdonthavetimetoreadboo...
February 1, 2025
read like a fanfiction almost...the main character i found to be mostly insufferable...at least i can rant at book club next week
April 10, 2024
ENDPAPERS is a rich and moving depiction of a woman trying to figure out her place in the world and to find people who will love her for who she is.
It's New York City, 2003. The main character is a genderqueer bookbinder at the Met Museum, where she does her best to present her feminine side; for her queer boyfriend, she feels she can only show her masculine side. One day, she find a torn off paperback cover hidden in the binding of an old book. The cover shows a woman, looking in the mirror and see a man in her reflection, and on the inside of the cover is a love letter from one woman to another. Seeing herself in the letter's author, she is seized with the determination to find her and understand who she was and what happened.
This was a terrific combination of sharp writing and short scenes that keep the book moving quickly. The relationships, in particular, are wonderfully drawn, showing all the insecurities one has about being accepted and the ups and downs they can have. As someone who lived in NYC in the early aughts, I particularly loved the description of the city - it was like riding a wave of nostalgia. Kelly manages to capture the little details about what I love about this place.
This was an excellent book. I definitely expect to see it on awards lists this year!
Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for the ARC!
It's New York City, 2003. The main character is a genderqueer bookbinder at the Met Museum, where she does her best to present her feminine side; for her queer boyfriend, she feels she can only show her masculine side. One day, she find a torn off paperback cover hidden in the binding of an old book. The cover shows a woman, looking in the mirror and see a man in her reflection, and on the inside of the cover is a love letter from one woman to another. Seeing herself in the letter's author, she is seized with the determination to find her and understand who she was and what happened.
This was a terrific combination of sharp writing and short scenes that keep the book moving quickly. The relationships, in particular, are wonderfully drawn, showing all the insecurities one has about being accepted and the ups and downs they can have. As someone who lived in NYC in the early aughts, I particularly loved the description of the city - it was like riding a wave of nostalgia. Kelly manages to capture the little details about what I love about this place.
This was an excellent book. I definitely expect to see it on awards lists this year!
Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for the ARC!
February 22, 2023
This book was ecstatic to read, a feast of small clean sentences. The sense of place and recognition and the struggle of an experience of gender that didn’t yet have a widely spoken name, the way it cuts across history, both lived and felt, the precise way of rendering feelings that resonate with a deep familiarity, Judaism and the rituals of family and binding books, the Lavender Scare and the unremembered history, trauma and fear and hiding, the unbelonging of in-between… This was one of those books that felt like coming home. An absolute accomplishment. There's so much I want to say about how it felt and what it meant to read this, but nothing I can say better than the book already did.
November 11, 2024
I have written a lot of positive reviews and I don't want that to diminish the quality of this one. I have read a lot of good books, great books even, but this THIS is a new favorite book. A sweet simmering sweaty sting. Brutal, warm, harsh, beautiful, and bold. There's the backdrop of post 9/11 New York City, the confusing landscape of gender and expectations and wardrobes and what that all really means, with an all too compelling mystery of a hidden artifact found by the right person at the right time. I can't say much more other than go read it yourself. Especially if you are Queer or Gender Non-conforming, or both. "Go forth boldly, my dear."
April 9, 2023
2.5 stars. Rounded up for the fascinating descriptions of book repair. Of course I like a literary mystery. I often enjoy stories with non-binary characters. Alas, here the coincidences were too contrived. I made it to the halfway mark before realizing I'd lost patience. A hidden book cover just happens to contain a decades-old message that so closely mirrors the main character's current situation that it helps her gain clarity about her own life? I don't believe it.
February 5, 2023
The most personal--as opposed to polemical, or political, or pedagogical--novel about life as a gender nonconforming person that I've ever read.
March 9, 2023
Deeply unlikable and messy characters that made it hard to keep reading. The ending was decent and maybe I cried a little so I don't know how tf I feel about this one.
March 27, 2023
This debut novel kept me turning the pages and became a 2-day read. For a book to get that much of my attention, it has to be fantastic. Jennifer Savran Kelly is an exquisite writer and has weaved a story that combines New York City, art, queerness, transness, relationships, and friendship in one place.
The story follows Dawn who is an artist working at the MET binding books while she tries to figure out what her next art project will be. One day, as she is binding, she comes across a book cover with a letter on the back that has been hidden - for years - in the endpapers of this art book. Reading the letter, it would seem possible that the writer (Gertrude) is confessing her love for (Marta). Later we learn that this happened shortly after both of their families came to the United States to escape the holocaust. Dawn becomes obsessed with determining who these people are and how their story ended.
Within the plot you start to see Dawn exploring her own queerness and gender identity. You see the clash with societal expectations and her complicated relationship with her lover - Lukas- and her best friend - Jae.
Through this mystery, Dawn begins trying to track down both Gertrude and Marta. Does she find out what happened? Does she meet them? How do her own relationships and anxieties resolve? Read the book to find out.
I loved how this book explored the politics and social expectations of queerness and transness in both today's world and in the 1950s New York/United States. It was clear that the author did their research and put together a stunning volume. I think this one could be a contender for a literary prize - or at least a nomination.
5 big stars to this debut!
The story follows Dawn who is an artist working at the MET binding books while she tries to figure out what her next art project will be. One day, as she is binding, she comes across a book cover with a letter on the back that has been hidden - for years - in the endpapers of this art book. Reading the letter, it would seem possible that the writer (Gertrude) is confessing her love for (Marta). Later we learn that this happened shortly after both of their families came to the United States to escape the holocaust. Dawn becomes obsessed with determining who these people are and how their story ended.
Within the plot you start to see Dawn exploring her own queerness and gender identity. You see the clash with societal expectations and her complicated relationship with her lover - Lukas- and her best friend - Jae.
Through this mystery, Dawn begins trying to track down both Gertrude and Marta. Does she find out what happened? Does she meet them? How do her own relationships and anxieties resolve? Read the book to find out.
I loved how this book explored the politics and social expectations of queerness and transness in both today's world and in the 1950s New York/United States. It was clear that the author did their research and put together a stunning volume. I think this one could be a contender for a literary prize - or at least a nomination.
5 big stars to this debut!
March 26, 2023
The book is set in 2003, in NYC (mostly Brooklyn, Upper east side manhattan and Long Island).
We follow Dawn, the narrator a genderqueer/fluid person trying to figure out their identity.
Dawn works in the Metropolitan museum of art as a bookbinder, mostly restoring/repairing books. But really would love to make their own work. Dawn finds a bookcover and letter in German hidden in a book, writting by Getrude to Marta.
Dawn dives into an adventure of sorts, trying to find out more about her. About themselves.
The book also had a very realistic and beautiful platonic friendship between Dawn and Jae.
The book has a beautiful quality to it and discusses heavy topics in a fluid, natural way, where we as the reader are taken along a journey. It’s written very unpretentiously in an easy way with short, packed chapters, that make you want to keep reading. I think the editing was great in this book, as what is left feels necessary. I will absolutely read more by Jennifer.
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