Someday Mija, You'll Learn the Difference Between a Whore and a Working Woman

by Yvonne Martinez

At eighteen, Yvonne Martinez flees brutal domestic violence and is taken in by her dying grandmother . . . who used to be a prostitute. Before she dies, her grandmother reveals family secrets and shares her uncommon wisdom. "Someday, Mija," she tells Yvonne, "you'll learn the difference between a whore and a working woman." She also shares disturbing facts about their family's history--eventually leading Yvonne to discover that her grandmother was trafficked as a child in Depression-era Utah by her own mother, Yvonne's great-grandmother, and that she was blamed for her own rape.

In the years that follow her grandmother's passing, Yvonne gets an education and starts a family. As she heals from her own abuse by her mother and stepfather, she becomes an advocate/labor activist. Grounded in her grandmother's dictum not to whore herself out, she learns to fight for herself and teaches others to do the same--exposing sexual harassment in the labor unions where she works and fighting corruption. Intense but ultimately uplifting, All She Was is a compelling memoir in essays of transforming transgenerational trauma into resilience and post-traumatic growth.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Biography Memoir

245 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 18, 2022

About the author

Yvonne Martinez is a retired labor negotiator/organizer. She has been published by ZyZZyVa, Crab Orchard Review, Labor Notes, and NPR. She also formerly wrote a local labor blog in the San Francisco Bay Area. Her forthcoming memoir in essays, Someday Mija, You’ll Learn the Difference Between a Whore and a Working Woman, covers her childhood in Salt Lake City/South Central/Boyle Heights and her work as a labor negotiator/organizer in California and the Pacific Northwest. Her play Scabmuggers is based on her experience as a National Fellow of the Harvard Trade Union Program in 1994. Yvonne lives in Berkeley, CA, and Portland, OR.

Reviews

[JoAnn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an intensely powerful memoir; Martinez’s life is a scar tissue of intergenerational wounds. Someday Mija, You’ll Learn the Difference Between a Whore and a Working Woman is a serious treatment of what the traumas of racial violence, poverty, and sexual exploitation can do to a child and a family, and how Yvonne was able to weave these histories — her own, her mother’s, her grandmother’s, her family’s and her community’s — into a lifetime of “doing better.” This is not a memoir to be undertaken lightly.

Someday Mija, You’ll Learn the Difference Between a Whore and a Working Woman is divided into two halves, the first reads like a novel and documents Martinez’s experiences as a child and growing up in a dysfunctional family. The second half addresses Yvonne’s life afterward, as an adult and specifically as an activist in the service of her community, as an organizer, and educator.

The two halves are intertwined: it is Martinez’s experiences growing up in an abusive and violent home that shapes her ability to understand the traumas that envelop her community. This shared experience is one not easily addressed by public health programs or the simple piling on of more and more education. Oppressive systems stemming from cultures steeped in patriarchy, sexual violence, and colonization cannot be wiped away, even replaced that easily. These cultures exist within even larger systems of oppression.

In Martinez’s case, however, these experiences also spurred them to take on systemic racism, sexism, violence, and poverty as institutions to be dismantled. This is a case of an individual working from within, for one’s own community (and for all communities). Change must be internal as well as external for it to sustain; Martinez’s life is proof of that.

A profound and consuming memoir that is in equal parts disturbing, saddening, and inspiring.

[Cynthia Guerra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley for the eARC. I fully enjoyed this book. I loved each moment of it. I could totally relate to this girl and how she grew up and her family members , having to go to the neighbors to call the cops, all of it. a must read

[Sarah Faichney · Rating 3 out of 5]

For me, this was an interesting insight into another culture and a tough read in places. Yvonne Martinez has dug deep within her family to produce this work of memoir and I truly hope she found some peace through the process. 

[Bitchin’]

For more of my reviews, follow me on instagram @bitchin.bookclub

[Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
This book is pretty fascinating. The treatment of Mexicans in Mormon dominant Utah was awful. The author does a good job of weaving her family's history together.

[Darcie R · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very powerful memoir, and certainly one that was at times difficult to read.

The book was written in the form of mini essays and was split into two parts; the first half discussing the author’s life as a child taken in by her grandmother, and the second discussing the author’s life as an adult after her childhood experiences.

It was not only sad, but also disturbing to read of the trauma the author faced growing up. While this section was at times hard to read and get through, it was important to understanding how the author was able to leverage this trauma into her adult years, and advocate for members of her community experiencing oppression and abuse.

Overall, this was a very inspiring memoir and I would recommend it to anyone who wants to read something moving.

[Penny lurkykitty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Someday Mija, You'll Learn the Difference Between a Whore and a Working Woman is a powerful memoir about surviving and healing from intergenerational trauma. Told in a series of small essays, Yvonne Martinez first describes her childhood in a family of Mexican immigrants living in Utah, then Los Angeles. Members of her family experienced racism, xenophobia, misogyny, poverty, domestic violence, mental illness, and sexual abuse. The second part of the book details her adulthood and work as an activist and union organizer, as she tenaciously exposes corruption, racism, and sexism in union and municipal leadership, and society in general.
Yvonne Martinez's writing is raw, honest, brave and compelling. Admirably, Yvonne has leveraged her trauma, resilience and survival skills into an ability and desire to advocate for community members experiencing abuse and oppression. Although sad and disturbing, this memoir is also inspiring, and the reader is better off for having their eyes opened by Yvonne Martinez's experiences. Thank you to BookSparks, Yvonne Martinez, and She Writes Press for a copy to review.
@BookSparks #BookSparks #SomedayMija #YvonneMartinez #FallPopUps

[JoAnn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an intensely powerful memoir; Martinez’s life is a scar tissue of intergenerational wounds. Someday Mija, You’ll Learn the Difference Between a Whore and a Working Woman is a serious treatment of what the traumas of racial violence, poverty, and sexual exploitation can do to a child and a family, and how Yvonne was able to weave these histories — her own, her mother’s, her grandmother’s, her family’s and her community’s — into a lifetime of “doing better.” This is not a memoir to be undertaken lightly.

Someday Mija, You’ll Learn the Difference Between a Whore and a Working Woman is divided into two halves, the first reads like a novel and documents Martinez’s experiences as a child and growing up in a dysfunctional family. The second half addresses Yvonne’s life afterward, as an adult and specifically as an activist in the service of her community, as an organizer, and educator.

The two halves are intertwined: it is Martinez’s experiences growing up in an abusive and violent home that shapes her ability to understand the traumas that envelop her community. This shared experience is one not easily addressed by public health programs or the simple piling on of more and more education. Oppressive systems stemming from cultures steeped in patriarchy, sexual violence, and colonization cannot be wiped away, even replaced that easily. These cultures exist within even larger systems of oppression.

In Martinez’s case, however, these experiences also spurred them to take on systemic racism, sexism, violence, and poverty as institutions to be dismantled. This is a case of an individual working from within, for one’s own community (and for all communities). Change must be internal as well as external for it to sustain; Martinez’s life is proof of that.

A profound and consuming memoir that is in equal parts disturbing, sad, and inspiring.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

At eighteen, Yvonne Martinez runs away from a home filled with domestic violence and is taken in by her grandmother. Before her passing, her grandmother reveals old family secrets, including how she used to work as a prostitute. This book is written as a series of essays documenting how one family can be broken by transgenerational trauma but still be able to find residence and healing to come through stronger on the other side.

I was really captivated by this memoir from the beginning. The way the history is told is just like hearing bits and pieces from various family members. Yvonne Martinez is a strong an courageous woman and her writing reflects it.

Thank you so much to @booksparks for the advance reading copy!

[Kari · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a giveaway item for me. I had a hard time reading through it. I got about 1/3 of the way through and struggled with reading it...it was too much of a downer for me.

I've read Night by Elie Weisel before and that was very intense and moving. The feeling of this book was very different from a domestic abuse view, but I couldn't get through it. It's hard to follow and jumps around a lot. I feel for the struggles of the author, but at the same time, I'm not interested enough in the writing style to finish it.

I was expecting more excitement, but this is slow stories of being yelled at and afraid of Mom.

[Helen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A powerful and reflective book of growing up and family dynamics. The history and repercussions of racial prejudice and the effects on her family life.
Being able to graduate college and career progression was fascinating, not a traditional route but one who uses life to inform choices and makes it work.
No judgement but admiration for the career and sticking power.

[Linda Garcia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Couldn’t get into the book by halfway through reading it. It dragged and there were some memories that I didn’t understand why they were put in the book. The story seemed to be all over the place. This was a giveaway win from Goodreads and the write up was interesting but didn’t quite deliver in the 50% of the book I read.

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully told

This memoir is powerful. I can imagine being there when she visits her family in Mexico and takes a shower with sans that never goes away. She tells of not just her childhood but also of her struggles in organizing and union work.

[Deandra · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was really bad. There was no flow, no rhyme or reason behind the stories shared and the last hundred pages were exhausting to read unless you have in depth knowledge of unions. I read this for a book challenge, otherwise I would never have finished it.