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Confessions of a Puppetmaster: A Hollywood Memoir of Ghouls, Guts, and Gonzo Filmmaking
“Confessions of a Puppetmaster is a fast, funny, wild ride through some wild times. Plus, Charlie compares me to Harrison Ford, so I’m all in!” —Bill Maher
Renowned producer, director, and “B movie” showman Charles Band takes readers on a wild romp through Hollywood’s decidedly un-Oscar-worthy underbelly, where mayhem and zombies reign supreme, and cheap thrills and entertainment are king
"This book is a blast. It made me want to stay up all night and watch terrible movies." —Peter Sagal
"One of the most entertaining film bios ever." —Larry Karaszewski
"Reads like a Tarantino film written by Hunter S. Thompson." —Booklist
Zombies, aliens, a little skin, lots of gore—and even more laughs—the cinematic universe of Charles Band is legendary. From the toilet-invading creatures of Ghoulies to the time-travelling bounty hunter in Trancers to the pandemic-crashed Corona Zombies, Band has spent four decades giving B-movie lovers exactly what they love. In Confessions of a Puppetmaster, this congenial master of Grindhouse cinema tells his own story, uncut.
Born into a family of artists, Band spent much of his childhood in Rome where his father worked in the film industry. Early visits to movie sets sealed young Charlie’s fate. By his twenties he had plunged into moviemaking himself and found his calling in exploitation movies—quick, low-budget efforts that exploit the zeitgeist and feed people’s desire for clever, low-brow entertainment. His films crossed genres, from vampire flicks to sci fi to erotic musical adaptations of fairy tales. As he came into his own as a director, he was the first to give starring roles to household names like Demi Moore, Helen Hunt, and Bill Maher.
Off set, Band’s life has been equally epic. Returning to his beloved Italy, he bought both Dino De Laurentiis’s movie studio and a medieval castle. After Romania’s oppressive communist regime fell, he circumvented the U.S. State Department to shoot films in Dracula’s homeland. He made—and then lost—a moviemaking fortune. A visionary, Band was also at the vanguard of the transition to home video and streaming, making and distributing direct-to-video movies long before the major studios caught on.
In this revealing tell-all, Band details the dizzying heights and catastrophic depths of his four decades in showbiz. A candid and engaging glimpse at Hollywood’s wild side, Confessions of a Puppetmaster is as entertaining as the movies that made this consummate schlockmeister famous.
Renowned producer, director, and “B movie” showman Charles Band takes readers on a wild romp through Hollywood’s decidedly un-Oscar-worthy underbelly, where mayhem and zombies reign supreme, and cheap thrills and entertainment are king
"This book is a blast. It made me want to stay up all night and watch terrible movies." —Peter Sagal
"One of the most entertaining film bios ever." —Larry Karaszewski
"Reads like a Tarantino film written by Hunter S. Thompson." —Booklist
Zombies, aliens, a little skin, lots of gore—and even more laughs—the cinematic universe of Charles Band is legendary. From the toilet-invading creatures of Ghoulies to the time-travelling bounty hunter in Trancers to the pandemic-crashed Corona Zombies, Band has spent four decades giving B-movie lovers exactly what they love. In Confessions of a Puppetmaster, this congenial master of Grindhouse cinema tells his own story, uncut.
Born into a family of artists, Band spent much of his childhood in Rome where his father worked in the film industry. Early visits to movie sets sealed young Charlie’s fate. By his twenties he had plunged into moviemaking himself and found his calling in exploitation movies—quick, low-budget efforts that exploit the zeitgeist and feed people’s desire for clever, low-brow entertainment. His films crossed genres, from vampire flicks to sci fi to erotic musical adaptations of fairy tales. As he came into his own as a director, he was the first to give starring roles to household names like Demi Moore, Helen Hunt, and Bill Maher.
Off set, Band’s life has been equally epic. Returning to his beloved Italy, he bought both Dino De Laurentiis’s movie studio and a medieval castle. After Romania’s oppressive communist regime fell, he circumvented the U.S. State Department to shoot films in Dracula’s homeland. He made—and then lost—a moviemaking fortune. A visionary, Band was also at the vanguard of the transition to home video and streaming, making and distributing direct-to-video movies long before the major studios caught on.
In this revealing tell-all, Band details the dizzying heights and catastrophic depths of his four decades in showbiz. A candid and engaging glimpse at Hollywood’s wild side, Confessions of a Puppetmaster is as entertaining as the movies that made this consummate schlockmeister famous.
285 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 16, 2021
24 people are currently reading
268 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 70 reviews
December 23, 2023
If you are a fan of B-movie schlock and exploitation, you probably know about Charles Band, or at least seen some of his films. I knew a little about Band, and have seen many of his films, and his memoir proved to be a real pleasure to read, and absolutely engaging to boot! Band and Felber divided Band's life into discrete chunks, following major events in Band's life and movie 'empire' alongside astute notes on how the film industry changed from the 1970s to now.
What struck me the most about Confessions concerns the incredible amount of energy Band infused his life and work with; the guy is bombastic as hell and it really shows! Band's specialty was horror and science fiction, although I learned here that he also produced some erotica and family fare; you know, what ever was selling at the time. Band pi0neered the direct to VHS/DVD market and tales of various escapades while making films in Italy, Romania and California were the icing on the cake.
My only issues (few) are that I wished he discussed his films more, although given that he has directed and/or produced several hundred movies, that would really be another book. I also would have liked to have seen more pictures, although the ones included were excellent-- who knew Marilyn Monroe used to be a babysitter for little Charlie! Along the way Band drops lots of names and this often read like a who's who in the film underground.
The ups and downs of Band's life are amazing; when it rained it poured, but the highs were really highs-- owning a huge castle in Umbria, one of the largest film studios in Europe (Empire) for the highs; being arrested in Florida for unpaid debt in the oughts was probably the biggest low. In some ways this chronicled the rise and fall of several film empires which mirrored the rise and fall of various media formats for film itself. Altogether, a memorable read for sure. Now, off to watch some of Band's classic schlock! 4.5 stars, happily rounding up!
What struck me the most about Confessions concerns the incredible amount of energy Band infused his life and work with; the guy is bombastic as hell and it really shows! Band's specialty was horror and science fiction, although I learned here that he also produced some erotica and family fare; you know, what ever was selling at the time. Band pi0neered the direct to VHS/DVD market and tales of various escapades while making films in Italy, Romania and California were the icing on the cake.
My only issues (few) are that I wished he discussed his films more, although given that he has directed and/or produced several hundred movies, that would really be another book. I also would have liked to have seen more pictures, although the ones included were excellent-- who knew Marilyn Monroe used to be a babysitter for little Charlie! Along the way Band drops lots of names and this often read like a who's who in the film underground.
The ups and downs of Band's life are amazing; when it rained it poured, but the highs were really highs-- owning a huge castle in Umbria, one of the largest film studios in Europe (Empire) for the highs; being arrested in Florida for unpaid debt in the oughts was probably the biggest low. In some ways this chronicled the rise and fall of several film empires which mirrored the rise and fall of various media formats for film itself. Altogether, a memorable read for sure. Now, off to watch some of Band's classic schlock! 4.5 stars, happily rounding up!
June 24, 2022
Wow, what a life. What a risk taker. And for horror fans, we appreciate everything he's done for the genre...and continues to do. Not only one of the most fascinating autobiographies I ever read, but inspirational as well. So far, my favorite read of the year.
January 23, 2023
“My new movies weren't going to fund themselves. Things were changing. I did what I always do when I need to clear my head. I went to my castle.”
Read about 96% of this in one day. Hard to put down. Wild life and career, both worth exploring.
Read about 96% of this in one day. Hard to put down. Wild life and career, both worth exploring.
July 29, 2024
This was a really interesting and nostalgic read for me. So many of the movies talked about here defined my childhood and I loved hearing the story of how they came to be. A fun, easy read.
December 9, 2021
Fantastic look under the hood at Empire Pictures and Full Moon. Band has some great memories, and I would love to see a sequel - especially with stories about some real-life friends, like Tom Devlin (mentioned on page 274).
October 15, 2021
it's been a solid while since i last devoured a book this quickly. i definitely got home from work at 11:30 last night and read until nearly 1am, then immediately picked it back up again after making a cup of coffee, not really doing much of anything else until i'd completely blazed through it.
this is a real delight to read, and i appreciate the sheer exuberance which shines through in the director's storytelling. not since bruce campbell or lloyd kaufmann's first books has there been such an unabashed love of making movies, with a real sense of honestly about working down in the b-movie trenches.
this is a real delight to read, and i appreciate the sheer exuberance which shines through in the director's storytelling. not since bruce campbell or lloyd kaufmann's first books has there been such an unabashed love of making movies, with a real sense of honestly about working down in the b-movie trenches.
December 8, 2021
Holy Cow!
Only got this because Felber was the author. I listen to "Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone". His other book I read was very good. This is absolute garbage I would think wouldn't exist after the 80's. This is male garbage. I wasted my 1 FREE Audible download (cuz I just bought a Amazon Fire tablet) on this crap. I would've saved it for the #1 Ladies' Detective Agency --written by an author who, though male, understands women as intelligent beings of autonomy that are to be treated with dignity instead of dimwits who are to prance around half-naked, as eye-candy toys for males.
Never again, Felber. You're now on the naughty list. You lost customer.
BTW, I'm only on Chapter 2.
Holy Cow! From Elizabeth Gilbert to this dude: pro-life with a hint of truthiness. If this dude wasn't a white male, he definitely wouldn't get away with the crud he did. And, if a woman, he wouldn't be bragging about the thuggish ways of his youth. But again, I'm not buying half this story.
And will he quit whining g about his medical issues? If I wanted to hear this, I'd go to the local senior citizen centre and try to have a convo.
Yup, I was right! Now he's going on a tour cross-border! Just like Gilbert! Methinks Felber saw how good the PWP lit worked for her, so he followed her outline.
IT'S TOTAL GILBERT KNOCKOFF. He just used the word "sherpa" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I went running through my trailers house yelling, repeatedly, "He used the word 'sherpa'"!
I truly don't want to hear about his slutty ways. That's the MALE part of the 'priv' in this story. Women wouldn't get to brag about sleeping around ~ESP when they do it while married. We'd be slut-shamed to the point where it would be on all the media, trash-talking the female wuthor.
Ok, to get through this ---& I'm determined to get through it because I wasted my 1 FREE book from Audible-----I'm going to just update my complaints of blatant privilege in this book.
Here's one: Who 'scrapes together' $2,500 for some nonsense newspapers? One 'scrapes together' a few hundred bucks to pay the rent or the co-pay for the dialysis one's mother's going to need. If one can have the privilege of even thinking of buying old newspapers, one's not having to 'scrape up' the money to do so.
And, now who doesn't just adore this dude? Even when whoring around on her, his love interest forgives him because he's just 'all that'.
Another Gilbert tactic. Everyone adores her.
And the male part of this priv is that he brags about his trashy ways. No woman would ever get away with this. Gilbert got a lot of heat just for wanting to leave the country while her divorce was being finalized. And she got a ton of negative GR reviews for having a relationship so soon after her divorce. Yet this dude's jocularly talking about sleeping around on his CURRENT relationship and we're all suppose to let that slide by. Then he wants to name a business after the person he was whoring with? I truly feel for any woman who has to deal with this misogynist.
Wait, we're suppose to just laugh off the fact he destroyed someone's house and left a phony number as a call-back? OK this is both total male and white privilege part. No POC would be able to get away with this. The POC who did this would be labeled 'thug' and there'd be a call to action for some retroactive compensation and jail time.
He could somehow 'scrape up' a couple thousand dollars for newspapers but not for his business expenses? And he avoided paying his dues while forking out thousand for future films.
Oh how noble of you to not force sex (aka, rape) the actresses. If someone has to point this superb personality trait out in themselves, methinks someone might be lying. Thou doth protest too much.
The voice of the male narrator's getting on my nerves. His inflection makes me want to reach through the Cloud & punch him.
Just for your info: If you give his movies a bad review, it's your fault for not 'getting it'. It's definitely not this movie maker's fault.
"people wanted to be at my place". . luckily I bought a heavy-duty case for my Amazon Fire. Remember: EVERYONE loves this dude.
And let me now brag about not being home for my child's birth, then say that I was 'only 26 years old' and I had to grow up. Jesus Christ!!!!!!!!!
" We" were raising a child? There's a typo in this book.
OK, making a huge bad financial business decision when you have a partner & child. This dude is completely self-centered. And he's blaming it on youth. Dude's almost 30! And he has a family? Did he selfishly put his wife's name on the loan?
And of course the person who comes into the store, complaining that the video didn't play when they put it on the TV, was a woman. UGH!
Oop. . . . methinks he's going to tag credit for ValleySpeak.
Wait, so this married dude would have sex with actors if they were interested in him? And now he brags about whoring around on his wife? Then he claims 'I'm not proud of this' AFTER he tells this, full of details, to an author who's going to put this in a publicly-accessible book?!?!?!
Read, "I'm not proud of this [wink,wink. We all know I'm bragging because I'm a male and I can do this whereas a woman wouldn't be able to], but . . . . ."
I'm waiting for this slut to say he split the atom. He's claiming to be the inventor of so many ideas in the movie industry, why stop there?!?!?!
I let a LOT slip by, as it would be beating a dead horse.
Chapter 9: "I got Meta (sp? Listening to the audioversion , so not sure on the spelling) a house . . ." I abhor when men do that. Methinks Meta can 'get' her own doggone house. Or are you really trying to say that the courts ordered you to pay child support so your ex-partner could babysit your kids for you while you move onto the next relationship that you'll treat like, unbeknownst to THAT partner, as a polyamorous one?
I'm supposed to be cleaning the house for this weekends' guest, not spending time on this tablet, ranting about this dude's oblivious privilegeness. I completely hate this h----. He states something to the effect 'imagine 100 hobos broke into your building, urinated all over, then they all left except one of them who died'. So nice of a person of immense wealth to casually disregard the incredibly disadvantaged (relativity, my dude) people's life so tongue-in-cheek. I sure hope you wouldn't think of me in them terms back when I was homeless. Of course you wouldn't. You'd have objectified me, promising me a nonexistent part in an upcoming movie if only I'd have relations with you.
I now have permission to completely hate on this old white dude.
BTW, 'hobo' is a highly offensive, outdated term, Daddy-O.
This white dude is so self-centered. He doesn't care at all how his actions affect (effect?) others. It seems, to get to the point, he gets jollies off of messing up other people's lives or property. Now this is, again, the privilege only a white male could take to the public. A woman would be called a sl#t ----even if her actions didn't include anything sexual-----and a MOC would be called a thug who needs to be imprisoned. A WOC would get the worse of both worlds. And I assure you the police would find some way of retroactively pressing charges-----somehow skirting any statutes of limitations.
This person can confidently talk about this stuff with impunity because he knows this society will let him slide, even laughing off all the illegal and harmful stuff he's done. Not once would society, other than me, refer to him as a thug who deserves prison time.
Chapter 9: This white dude can't possibly believe the cinematographer felt good about being fired. This white dude has his head so far in the ground, the ostriches are concerned about his oxygen supply.
Quit with the name-dropping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Deano-Baby.
Hold your palanquins!!!!! I see a plot theme here! He's going to somehow 'scrape up' $2 million to buy the castle!
Oh good! What a relief! I thought he was going to have to file bankruptcy. He got a great deal for a measly $1 million.
I had a literal LOL moment with him claiming,subtly, that he invented Harry Potter. He best watch out, his head all explode if he inflates it any more.
OMG! "He's A dw@rf"?!?!?! Is the 'N'-word going to make an appearance by the end of the book?!
This jerk constantly shirks responsibility. He repeatedly brushes off taking control of situations when he creates havoc ----this is glaring in the " Crawl Space" bit. Just send them back to work, that'll solve the problem of the homicidal actor.
The homophobic slur made an appearance! I'm waiting for the grand finale.
Now we've successfully polarized the Asian demographic. You couldn't use the thesaurus to come up with 'bounce back and forth'?
I'm just here to watch this thing implode.
And now we pat ourselves on the back for giving someone the disgusting old breakroom couch with the sunken-in cushions and the stink that could kill a cat (the one you're going to wrote off on the taxes) to someone who doesn't have one? Move over, Freedom Riders, we got a new nomination for the statue for City Square.
"I'm not saying they plagiarized me, but his movie DOES have a lot of obscure similarities."
OK, his idea of what audiences want to see excludes aces, straight women, gay men and people who aren't interested in seeing nudity on screen. So he's making movies for a very small margin of audience.
Did this rich h---- just say he had 'nothing to my name', except maybe a couple of properties?!?!?!
I'm sure his wife works, but since she's just another 'bimbo', I'm sure her petty scans income doesn't amount to much. I mean you didn't mention your first wife's occupation, and you had to 'get' her that house cuz apparently she's too stupid to figure out how to apply for a mortgage . . .
The part about buying the land in Romania was too far over the top to even try to believe.
Yeah! More slurs against homeless people!
Still waiting for the finale. Want to see the fireworks.
OMG, he refers to 'my castle' one more time . . .
I hate when rich people refer to the service industry employees who work for them as 'my____ [enter person's profession here]'. Like they own the person.
You're going through, allegedly, financial hard times (though most of the world would've still considered you extremely wealthy) and you say you had 'no reason to stay in America.'. In womanspeak, we call that 'deadbeat dad'.
Ok, I had so much housework to do that I couldn't comment on all the ridiculousness.
I'm glad he didn't narrate this. He has a terrible voice. How many packs does he smoke per day?
The end is just a bunch of name-dropping---most already mentioned in this book, but just in case you forgot . . . .
If I could give this negative stars, I would.
Felber owes me "The Joy and Light Bus Company".
MORAL OF THIS STORY: Never mention luck in the presence of 'self-made' men.
Edited for auto-correct my tablet insisted on. I still think I got the 'pro-life' wrong. I don't know what idea I was thinking about at the time, though, so I'm going to leave as-is for now.
Only got this because Felber was the author. I listen to "Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone". His other book I read was very good. This is absolute garbage I would think wouldn't exist after the 80's. This is male garbage. I wasted my 1 FREE Audible download (cuz I just bought a Amazon Fire tablet) on this crap. I would've saved it for the #1 Ladies' Detective Agency --written by an author who, though male, understands women as intelligent beings of autonomy that are to be treated with dignity instead of dimwits who are to prance around half-naked, as eye-candy toys for males.
Never again, Felber. You're now on the naughty list. You lost customer.
BTW, I'm only on Chapter 2.
Holy Cow! From Elizabeth Gilbert to this dude: pro-life with a hint of truthiness. If this dude wasn't a white male, he definitely wouldn't get away with the crud he did. And, if a woman, he wouldn't be bragging about the thuggish ways of his youth. But again, I'm not buying half this story.
And will he quit whining g about his medical issues? If I wanted to hear this, I'd go to the local senior citizen centre and try to have a convo.
Yup, I was right! Now he's going on a tour cross-border! Just like Gilbert! Methinks Felber saw how good the PWP lit worked for her, so he followed her outline.
IT'S TOTAL GILBERT KNOCKOFF. He just used the word "sherpa" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I went running through my trailers house yelling, repeatedly, "He used the word 'sherpa'"!
I truly don't want to hear about his slutty ways. That's the MALE part of the 'priv' in this story. Women wouldn't get to brag about sleeping around ~ESP when they do it while married. We'd be slut-shamed to the point where it would be on all the media, trash-talking the female wuthor.
Ok, to get through this ---& I'm determined to get through it because I wasted my 1 FREE book from Audible-----I'm going to just update my complaints of blatant privilege in this book.
Here's one: Who 'scrapes together' $2,500 for some nonsense newspapers? One 'scrapes together' a few hundred bucks to pay the rent or the co-pay for the dialysis one's mother's going to need. If one can have the privilege of even thinking of buying old newspapers, one's not having to 'scrape up' the money to do so.
And, now who doesn't just adore this dude? Even when whoring around on her, his love interest forgives him because he's just 'all that'.
Another Gilbert tactic. Everyone adores her.
And the male part of this priv is that he brags about his trashy ways. No woman would ever get away with this. Gilbert got a lot of heat just for wanting to leave the country while her divorce was being finalized. And she got a ton of negative GR reviews for having a relationship so soon after her divorce. Yet this dude's jocularly talking about sleeping around on his CURRENT relationship and we're all suppose to let that slide by. Then he wants to name a business after the person he was whoring with? I truly feel for any woman who has to deal with this misogynist.
Wait, we're suppose to just laugh off the fact he destroyed someone's house and left a phony number as a call-back? OK this is both total male and white privilege part. No POC would be able to get away with this. The POC who did this would be labeled 'thug' and there'd be a call to action for some retroactive compensation and jail time.
He could somehow 'scrape up' a couple thousand dollars for newspapers but not for his business expenses? And he avoided paying his dues while forking out thousand for future films.
Oh how noble of you to not force sex (aka, rape) the actresses. If someone has to point this superb personality trait out in themselves, methinks someone might be lying. Thou doth protest too much.
The voice of the male narrator's getting on my nerves. His inflection makes me want to reach through the Cloud & punch him.
Just for your info: If you give his movies a bad review, it's your fault for not 'getting it'. It's definitely not this movie maker's fault.
"people wanted to be at my place". . luckily I bought a heavy-duty case for my Amazon Fire. Remember: EVERYONE loves this dude.
And let me now brag about not being home for my child's birth, then say that I was 'only 26 years old' and I had to grow up. Jesus Christ!!!!!!!!!
" We" were raising a child? There's a typo in this book.
OK, making a huge bad financial business decision when you have a partner & child. This dude is completely self-centered. And he's blaming it on youth. Dude's almost 30! And he has a family? Did he selfishly put his wife's name on the loan?
And of course the person who comes into the store, complaining that the video didn't play when they put it on the TV, was a woman. UGH!
Oop. . . . methinks he's going to tag credit for ValleySpeak.
Wait, so this married dude would have sex with actors if they were interested in him? And now he brags about whoring around on his wife? Then he claims 'I'm not proud of this' AFTER he tells this, full of details, to an author who's going to put this in a publicly-accessible book?!?!?!
Read, "I'm not proud of this [wink,wink. We all know I'm bragging because I'm a male and I can do this whereas a woman wouldn't be able to], but . . . . ."
I'm waiting for this slut to say he split the atom. He's claiming to be the inventor of so many ideas in the movie industry, why stop there?!?!?!
I let a LOT slip by, as it would be beating a dead horse.
Chapter 9: "I got Meta (sp? Listening to the audioversion , so not sure on the spelling) a house . . ." I abhor when men do that. Methinks Meta can 'get' her own doggone house. Or are you really trying to say that the courts ordered you to pay child support so your ex-partner could babysit your kids for you while you move onto the next relationship that you'll treat like, unbeknownst to THAT partner, as a polyamorous one?
I'm supposed to be cleaning the house for this weekends' guest, not spending time on this tablet, ranting about this dude's oblivious privilegeness. I completely hate this h----. He states something to the effect 'imagine 100 hobos broke into your building, urinated all over, then they all left except one of them who died'. So nice of a person of immense wealth to casually disregard the incredibly disadvantaged (relativity, my dude) people's life so tongue-in-cheek. I sure hope you wouldn't think of me in them terms back when I was homeless. Of course you wouldn't. You'd have objectified me, promising me a nonexistent part in an upcoming movie if only I'd have relations with you.
I now have permission to completely hate on this old white dude.
BTW, 'hobo' is a highly offensive, outdated term, Daddy-O.
This white dude is so self-centered. He doesn't care at all how his actions affect (effect?) others. It seems, to get to the point, he gets jollies off of messing up other people's lives or property. Now this is, again, the privilege only a white male could take to the public. A woman would be called a sl#t ----even if her actions didn't include anything sexual-----and a MOC would be called a thug who needs to be imprisoned. A WOC would get the worse of both worlds. And I assure you the police would find some way of retroactively pressing charges-----somehow skirting any statutes of limitations.
This person can confidently talk about this stuff with impunity because he knows this society will let him slide, even laughing off all the illegal and harmful stuff he's done. Not once would society, other than me, refer to him as a thug who deserves prison time.
Chapter 9: This white dude can't possibly believe the cinematographer felt good about being fired. This white dude has his head so far in the ground, the ostriches are concerned about his oxygen supply.
Quit with the name-dropping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Deano-Baby.
Hold your palanquins!!!!! I see a plot theme here! He's going to somehow 'scrape up' $2 million to buy the castle!
Oh good! What a relief! I thought he was going to have to file bankruptcy. He got a great deal for a measly $1 million.
I had a literal LOL moment with him claiming,subtly, that he invented Harry Potter. He best watch out, his head all explode if he inflates it any more.
OMG! "He's A dw@rf"?!?!?! Is the 'N'-word going to make an appearance by the end of the book?!
This jerk constantly shirks responsibility. He repeatedly brushes off taking control of situations when he creates havoc ----this is glaring in the " Crawl Space" bit. Just send them back to work, that'll solve the problem of the homicidal actor.
The homophobic slur made an appearance! I'm waiting for the grand finale.
Now we've successfully polarized the Asian demographic. You couldn't use the thesaurus to come up with 'bounce back and forth'?
I'm just here to watch this thing implode.
And now we pat ourselves on the back for giving someone the disgusting old breakroom couch with the sunken-in cushions and the stink that could kill a cat (the one you're going to wrote off on the taxes) to someone who doesn't have one? Move over, Freedom Riders, we got a new nomination for the statue for City Square.
"I'm not saying they plagiarized me, but his movie DOES have a lot of obscure similarities."
OK, his idea of what audiences want to see excludes aces, straight women, gay men and people who aren't interested in seeing nudity on screen. So he's making movies for a very small margin of audience.
Did this rich h---- just say he had 'nothing to my name', except maybe a couple of properties?!?!?!
I'm sure his wife works, but since she's just another 'bimbo', I'm sure her petty scans income doesn't amount to much. I mean you didn't mention your first wife's occupation, and you had to 'get' her that house cuz apparently she's too stupid to figure out how to apply for a mortgage . . .
The part about buying the land in Romania was too far over the top to even try to believe.
Yeah! More slurs against homeless people!
Still waiting for the finale. Want to see the fireworks.
OMG, he refers to 'my castle' one more time . . .
I hate when rich people refer to the service industry employees who work for them as 'my____ [enter person's profession here]'. Like they own the person.
You're going through, allegedly, financial hard times (though most of the world would've still considered you extremely wealthy) and you say you had 'no reason to stay in America.'. In womanspeak, we call that 'deadbeat dad'.
Ok, I had so much housework to do that I couldn't comment on all the ridiculousness.
I'm glad he didn't narrate this. He has a terrible voice. How many packs does he smoke per day?
The end is just a bunch of name-dropping---most already mentioned in this book, but just in case you forgot . . . .
If I could give this negative stars, I would.
Felber owes me "The Joy and Light Bus Company".
MORAL OF THIS STORY: Never mention luck in the presence of 'self-made' men.
Edited for auto-correct my tablet insisted on. I still think I got the 'pro-life' wrong. I don't know what idea I was thinking about at the time, though, so I'm going to leave as-is for now.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 15, 2023
Hugely entertaining and hilarious whistle-stop tour of the B-movie entrepreneur's life and work, highs and lows and remarkable ability to leap on the next cash-bringing bandwagon when money runs out and most would have given up. Encounters with Demi Moore, Gary Busey and the "tightie whitie" clad male stars of David DeCoteau's offerings are among the highlights.
January 31, 2025
The audiobook narrated by Charles himself is a fascinating he’s easy to listen to and the sheer amount of stories he shares about full moon pictures and his ventures are good. Hopefully his other book goes into more detail on the puppet master series and sons of his other gems.
Recommended if you are a cult horror fan.
Recommended if you are a cult horror fan.
January 24, 2022
I had no idea Charles Band had such a colorful history! I adore horror movies and was a huge fan of Full Moon Entertainment in its heyday. Subspecies was my favorite and The Puppetmaster saga is right up there too.
September 6, 2022
This book was a real joy to read. Band has so many great stories that I didn't want it to end. It's good to know that he's still plugging away though.
August 30, 2023
I wish this book was twice as long.
March 2, 2025
In today's world of infinite distractions, if I can't put a book down that is a testament to the quality and power of a true storyteller. Band captured me and never let go. Even through the bad times.
July 12, 2023
This is an interesting and funny look at the life and career of a fascinating man. Being a fan of all things shlokey I couldn't put it down.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 11, 2022
****1/2
I love the films of Ingmar Bergman, Eric Rohmer, Martin Scorsese . . . true artists whose cinematic creations have as much merit as the paintings of van Gogh or the sculptures of Michelangelo. These directors, among others, have managed to create true art in a medium that's been linked to business since its inception. It's informative and usually entertaining to read books about the giants of Hollywood and foreign film, the men and women who've created the films that will stand the test of time.
But . . . it's also great fun to read about Mr. Charles Band, a master of the exploitation film, the B movie, the direct-to-video eighty-minute creature feature. In his autobiography, "Confessions of a Puppetmaster," Band explains his artistic drive and the movies he gravitates toward, and is also very up front about the fact that his movies typically received the greenlight based on which poster art and brief plot synopsis most interested the money men at festivals. Band would come up with the movie idea, have his people put together the art, collect money from interested investors, and THEN commission the script and plan what the actual movie would be.
"Confessions" takes the reader from Band's early years, traipsing around Europe with his family, learning the movie business from his producer/director father, Albert Band. He discusses the birth and decline of his 1980s company, Empire, and the subsequent birth, death, and re-birth of Full Moon, his company from 1990 to the present. He's got plenty of stories, amusing anecdotes about some of the stars he's worked with, difficult folks like Gary Busey and Klaus Kinski. If you've seen Charles Band on his road show in the early 2000s, or caught him at a convention, you may have heard some of these stories. Reading this book feels very much like listening to him speak at one of his events.
Band is honest about his lack of business sense, and blames most of his failures on himself. He's got an optimistic attitude throughout, though; when one idea doesn't work, and even when he's faced with drastic financial difficulties, he never seems to let the bastards gets him down, and just keeps on with what he loves, which is making horror and scifi movies with a comedic bent, often about terrifying puppets, dolls, or monsters whose height tops out at about two feet.
This book goes excellently with the (unauthorized) history tome, "It Came From the Video Aisle". Full Moon fans would do well to check out that book and then fire up "Confessions" immediately after.
I love the films of Ingmar Bergman, Eric Rohmer, Martin Scorsese . . . true artists whose cinematic creations have as much merit as the paintings of van Gogh or the sculptures of Michelangelo. These directors, among others, have managed to create true art in a medium that's been linked to business since its inception. It's informative and usually entertaining to read books about the giants of Hollywood and foreign film, the men and women who've created the films that will stand the test of time.
But . . . it's also great fun to read about Mr. Charles Band, a master of the exploitation film, the B movie, the direct-to-video eighty-minute creature feature. In his autobiography, "Confessions of a Puppetmaster," Band explains his artistic drive and the movies he gravitates toward, and is also very up front about the fact that his movies typically received the greenlight based on which poster art and brief plot synopsis most interested the money men at festivals. Band would come up with the movie idea, have his people put together the art, collect money from interested investors, and THEN commission the script and plan what the actual movie would be.
"Confessions" takes the reader from Band's early years, traipsing around Europe with his family, learning the movie business from his producer/director father, Albert Band. He discusses the birth and decline of his 1980s company, Empire, and the subsequent birth, death, and re-birth of Full Moon, his company from 1990 to the present. He's got plenty of stories, amusing anecdotes about some of the stars he's worked with, difficult folks like Gary Busey and Klaus Kinski. If you've seen Charles Band on his road show in the early 2000s, or caught him at a convention, you may have heard some of these stories. Reading this book feels very much like listening to him speak at one of his events.
Band is honest about his lack of business sense, and blames most of his failures on himself. He's got an optimistic attitude throughout, though; when one idea doesn't work, and even when he's faced with drastic financial difficulties, he never seems to let the bastards gets him down, and just keeps on with what he loves, which is making horror and scifi movies with a comedic bent, often about terrifying puppets, dolls, or monsters whose height tops out at about two feet.
This book goes excellently with the (unauthorized) history tome, "It Came From the Video Aisle". Full Moon fans would do well to check out that book and then fire up "Confessions" immediately after.
November 25, 2021
I finished Charles Band’s CONFESSIONS OF A PUPPETMASTER this morning and absolutely loved it. What a wild, inspirational life - a tale of true perseverance through the ups and downs experienced in a life in show business. Read it!
May 10, 2022
Wow. This is a shockingly forthcoming memoir by one of Hollywood (and the world's) most notorious movie schlock icons, Empire and Full Moon producer/director Charles Band.
Sex with a young married Demi Moore? DMV fraud? Trouble with the mob? All on the table here, along with all of the great behind the scenes stories about meeting Stuart Gordon, selling movies based on poster art and no script, and so much more.
I put this on to burn a few hours on a drive to Las Vegas and finished the entire thing without even looking at my podcasts (I had to finish it on the drive back, but still).
Band and his crew have always pushed the envelope so I guess I should've expected this more, but so many memoirs (even great ones) are forced to change names and water things down. Charles Band does not give a crap, clearly, but he also made Goulies with that toilet ad (what a story!) so that fits.
Everyone with even a passing interest in movies should read this book.
Sex with a young married Demi Moore? DMV fraud? Trouble with the mob? All on the table here, along with all of the great behind the scenes stories about meeting Stuart Gordon, selling movies based on poster art and no script, and so much more.
I put this on to burn a few hours on a drive to Las Vegas and finished the entire thing without even looking at my podcasts (I had to finish it on the drive back, but still).
Band and his crew have always pushed the envelope so I guess I should've expected this more, but so many memoirs (even great ones) are forced to change names and water things down. Charles Band does not give a crap, clearly, but he also made Goulies with that toilet ad (what a story!) so that fits.
Everyone with even a passing interest in movies should read this book.
September 19, 2021
One problem with biographies of movie industry professionals is that they never go into all their films, and it is true in this book, as well. There is a lot of personal information (which is great) and focus on key elements of their professional life (which is also great) but many film titles simply get a brief mention and are glossed over as though they don't matter (which isn't great). This book is a must-have for fans of Full Moon Pictures.
Thank you NetGalley and William Morrow and Custom House for the opportunity to read an advance reading copy.
Thank you NetGalley and William Morrow and Custom House for the opportunity to read an advance reading copy.
March 21, 2022
Entertaining and fun to hear about all of the horror movies that terrified me when I was little. The book didn't go deep with anything though. I was hoping for more insight on the development of the monsters and formation of the movie ideas but the book was more like, "then we made this movie and we had fun then I made that movie then I got married..." No good personal insights either, he'll fall in love, have a baby and get divorced and use 4 sentences to sum it all up. I wanted to hear more about the creative monster making\movie making process, and more on set stories.
August 3, 2021
charlie band u lovable scamp!
February 10, 2023
As a producer, Charles Band has made more than 350 movies and additionally, has sat in the director’s chair on more than 70 occasions. In the 1980s he headed Empire Pictures, and in the 1990s created the direct-to-video company Full Moon Entertainment. The exploits of these companies were covered a few years ago in the book
It Came from the Video Aisle!: Inside Charles Band's Full Moon Entertainment Studio
(authors Dave Jay, William S. Wilson and Torsten Dewi) through a series of extensive interviews with those who lived it. Now, Charles Band has tired of letting others tell his story and has penned his memoir, Confessions of a Puppetmaster: A Hollywood Memoir of Ghouls, Ghosts and Gonzo Filmmaking.
He is one hell of a storyteller and is not afraid to confront his past, warts and all. To say he has lived a wild life would be an understatement, as he is known for taking big chances and his gambles frequently pay off.
You can read Robert's full review at Horror DNA by clicking here.
He is one hell of a storyteller and is not afraid to confront his past, warts and all. To say he has lived a wild life would be an understatement, as he is known for taking big chances and his gambles frequently pay off.
You can read Robert's full review at Horror DNA by clicking here.
August 26, 2024
Fun memoir. I don't think I've seen any of his movies but now that I've listened to the story of how they were made, I kind of want to go on a B move binge. Who would have thought you could make so many movies in four weeks each?
There's a ton of stuff in here. Early near-death sojourns in eastern European hospitals, a teenage road trip that ended with a stint in a Mexican hospital after eating nothing but nuts for three days, starting an underground nightclub in Rome at age 15, buying a big Italian castle, charming his way out of trouble over and over. Tidbits about familiar names like Demi Moore and Jon Lovitz and Helen Hunt who were involved with Band's movies early on in their careers. Plenty of financial shenanigans, in which Band takes risks with his own and other people's money and careens from boom to bust, even to a Florida jail at one point, not to mention the enforcers who firebombed his house.
Band is my age (I'm 72 as of 2024) so I didn't have as much trouble with the personal misbehavior as I might have if I'd grown up in a more judgmental era. He's still friends with his ex-wives, so who am I to judge?
I really enjoyed all the behind-the-scenes stuff about making those movies, like the bit about the process for stop-motion filming. Some of the movies he mentioned sounded like other, bigger movies, for instance Parasite has a creature that sounds an awful lot like the alien in Alien. As he tells it, Band made 'exploitation' movies, not in the Blaxploitation sense but movies that exploited the zeitgeist, gave people what they were in the mood for at the moment. And he made them so incredibly fast! I think the number he gave in the beginning was 340 movies.
There's a ton of stuff in here. Early near-death sojourns in eastern European hospitals, a teenage road trip that ended with a stint in a Mexican hospital after eating nothing but nuts for three days, starting an underground nightclub in Rome at age 15, buying a big Italian castle, charming his way out of trouble over and over. Tidbits about familiar names like Demi Moore and Jon Lovitz and Helen Hunt who were involved with Band's movies early on in their careers. Plenty of financial shenanigans, in which Band takes risks with his own and other people's money and careens from boom to bust, even to a Florida jail at one point, not to mention the enforcers who firebombed his house.
Band is my age (I'm 72 as of 2024) so I didn't have as much trouble with the personal misbehavior as I might have if I'd grown up in a more judgmental era. He's still friends with his ex-wives, so who am I to judge?
I really enjoyed all the behind-the-scenes stuff about making those movies, like the bit about the process for stop-motion filming. Some of the movies he mentioned sounded like other, bigger movies, for instance Parasite has a creature that sounds an awful lot like the alien in Alien. As he tells it, Band made 'exploitation' movies, not in the Blaxploitation sense but movies that exploited the zeitgeist, gave people what they were in the mood for at the moment. And he made them so incredibly fast! I think the number he gave in the beginning was 340 movies.
July 22, 2022
Charles Band has led a life as unique and colorful as his movies. The creator of Full Moon Pictures (as well as Media Home Entertainment and Empire International Pictures), who was a forerunner of the home video market with such titles as Dolls, Puppet Master, Trancers, Subspecies, Laserblast, and Tourist Trap tells his story from his childhood in Italy with his father, producer/director Albert Band (I Bury The Living; A Minute to Pray, A Second to Die) up to the present year of 2022. Band manages to keep his story moving swiftly while giving lots of anecdotes about his personal life as well as the ups and downs, successes and pitfalls of someone who’s dedicated his life to the movies. Known for his low-budget B-movies, we get a personal tour of his dedication to film and fans despite of (or because of) critical reactions to his brand of entertainment. It’s a very entertaining read from someone who may not be as famous as other producers (currently credited with 353 productions as of this writing- IMDb) or as other directors (73 credited titles), but his mark on the movie and home video scene are undeniable. Definitely worth reading.
September 19, 2022
I didn't realize how much of my childhood was shaped by this one man. Ghoulies, Puppetmaster, Dollman, Demonic Toys, Trancers, Re-Animator among others. All of these were big influences on me and remain guilty pleasures late in life. Charles Band seems to have lived the Life of Reilly and thoroughly enjoyed doing so. The book covers the rise of his early films and companies, culminating in the rise and fall - almost fall - of Full Moon entertainment. Anyone familiar with the company knows their "throwing everything against the wall and seeing what sticks" style. Just a casual reading of the book shows Band to be an impulsive madman who seems to have amassed and lost several fortunes in his life. Several people seem to dislike him and this book and I can't see why. What the hell else did you expect? It is a fun, fast read. Like Band's movies, this book cuts out the boring bits and gives us the the good stuff right up front.
August 20, 2021
Band has had a long and crazy career that all gets covered here. The book moves quick, not stopping on any topic too long; but most of what you want to hear about gets covered. However, the sequels to things like Puppet Master - which surely have tales to tale don't get anything beyond a brief mention to set up the time lines.
The truth is probably Band was spinning so many plates he didn't have any insight on some of the movies, but it's still disappointing as a fan. There's a lot of name dropping with little reason to bring up the person other than they're famous. Band also loved buying real estate and there is probably too much real estate talk than necessary. Overall, Band is honest and funny; so as a fan it's a must read.
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I received an ARC from the publisher for an honest review.
The truth is probably Band was spinning so many plates he didn't have any insight on some of the movies, but it's still disappointing as a fan. There's a lot of name dropping with little reason to bring up the person other than they're famous. Band also loved buying real estate and there is probably too much real estate talk than necessary. Overall, Band is honest and funny; so as a fan it's a must read.
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I received an ARC from the publisher for an honest review.
September 18, 2024
Making a movie called Corona Zombies at the start of Covid-19. Charles Brand could make a movie from conception to birth, idea to release in 28 days. He would exploit what was cool at the time and make exploitation movies. When makers would take time investigating he would buy dozens of cars, crash them, blow them up for his movie and still be paying the DMV. Act and don't think. He would own and castle, make movies in Romania. Having made companies, lost companies, had his hand in 350 plus movies, be balls deep in Demi Moore, think up a brilliant franchise about Puppets making 15 movies, and deal with an insane Gary Busey on set of the awesome Gingerdead Man, Charles has done it all. Having a love of his B movies, his entertaining style, bat shit crazy personality, this makes you want to watch his entire back collection, losing brain cells for the absurdity of his movies is appealing.
March 6, 2022
If you’re a cineast and you grew up in the 80s and 90s video store world, you probably have a good bit of nostalgia and/or affinity for Charles Band and his Empire/Full Moon movies. He’s made hundreds of movies, and out of those only a handful are classics, but they’re strong, game-changing classics: Re-Animator, From Beyond, Trancers, Dolls, Puppet Master, etc.
This is a light memoir about his rise and fall and partial rise again with some good stories interspersed throughout. Not quite a lot of discussion about the movies — he was always more of a business/idea guy than the actual creative force behind his films (that was Stuart Gordon) — but if you like his stuff you’ll like this memoir well enough.
This is a light memoir about his rise and fall and partial rise again with some good stories interspersed throughout. Not quite a lot of discussion about the movies — he was always more of a business/idea guy than the actual creative force behind his films (that was Stuart Gordon) — but if you like his stuff you’ll like this memoir well enough.
September 27, 2022
Confessions of a Puppetmaster ended up being a light, breezy, really fun memoir, but maybe not as in depth as I would have liked, in the end. Band is an engaging narrator and storyteller, and he has lived a fascinating life, I just wish there were more details in there!
But as a surface level summation of a very, VERY full life, it's a great read. His self confidence is off the charts, but he's also so empathetic, because he never comes off as arrogant or a braggart. He legitimately feels thrilled to have lived the life he's lived.
That also comes across in his interviews, where he legitimately sounds proud and excited by the sheer number of Evil Bong movies he's made.
But as a surface level summation of a very, VERY full life, it's a great read. His self confidence is off the charts, but he's also so empathetic, because he never comes off as arrogant or a braggart. He legitimately feels thrilled to have lived the life he's lived.
That also comes across in his interviews, where he legitimately sounds proud and excited by the sheer number of Evil Bong movies he's made.
January 27, 2022
Dudes! What an incredible roller coaster ride this book is. The creator of Empire Productions and Full Moon Features takes the reader on the whole wild ride - from his birth as the son of filmmaker Albert Band through the ups and downs of his career as an independent filmmaker himself. It's an anazing story and if you ever enjoyed even one of his hundreds of movies you will enjoy this book. This one rates a very high recommendation.
February 25, 2023
Full of fascinating stories, and like 5% as sleazy as I figured it would be. I recognize that any memoir is going to present oneself in the best possible light, but let’s just say this isn’t the book Jim Wynorski would have put out. I enjoyed spending time with Charles Band the person a lot more than I’ve enjoyed spending time with a lot of his movies, to the point that I have a new perspective on his work, even. Solid stuff!
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