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Overcoming Insecure Attachment: 8 Proven Steps to Recognizing Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Styles and Building Healthier, Happier Relationships
The definitive guide for defeating anxious, anxious-avoidant, and avoidant attachment issues; dealing with the drama triangle; and building stronger, more successful relationships.
Written by a behavioral relationship expert, Overcoming Insecure Attachment provides actionable steps on how to overcome insecure attachment styles and the problems they spawn with self-value, self-awareness and self-responsibility. Going beyond what traditional attachment theory books focus on, readers will follow eight proven steps that they can customize and organize in the way that best suits their unique needs, all the while being bolstered and championed by Tracy Crossley’s friendly, bold tone.
Permanently stop fear and anxiety from smothering the way you live your life, and stop settling for relationships that aren’t right for you. Overcoming Insecure Attachment will teach you how to break down your subconscious beliefs and create emotional connections with yourself and others for a happier, better life.
Written by a behavioral relationship expert, Overcoming Insecure Attachment provides actionable steps on how to overcome insecure attachment styles and the problems they spawn with self-value, self-awareness and self-responsibility. Going beyond what traditional attachment theory books focus on, readers will follow eight proven steps that they can customize and organize in the way that best suits their unique needs, all the while being bolstered and championed by Tracy Crossley’s friendly, bold tone.
Permanently stop fear and anxiety from smothering the way you live your life, and stop settling for relationships that aren’t right for you. Overcoming Insecure Attachment will teach you how to break down your subconscious beliefs and create emotional connections with yourself and others for a happier, better life.
280 pages, Paperback
Published October 26, 2021
47 people are currently reading
261 people want to read
About the author
Tracy Crossley
5 books9 followersTracy Crossley is a Behavioral Relationship Expert, Author and Podcast Host, who specializes in treating individuals with unhealthy LIFE and relationship patterns. Tracy helps clients transform, impostor syndrome, insecure attachment, negative belief systems, breaking the cycle of narcissistic damage, destructive self-talk, and more. With a background in psychology, an innate emotional intuition, which draws from her own personal experience. Tracy shows her clients how to PERMANENTLY change the repetition of the unhealthy, unhappy and unfulfilled cycles personally and professionally.
Tracy's popular weekly mental health podcast, Freedom From Insecure Attachment offers listeners a different perspective when it comes to breaking the cycle of unhealthy behaviors that keep them stuck repeating pain-inducing actions on auto-pilot. The podcast addresses folks who want to deal with their emotional baggage and get unstuck, happy, and have a clear mindset.
Each Thursday at 9amPT/NoonET she also hosts a Facebook/Youtube Live on Overcoming Insecure Attachment.
Tracy's book: Overcoming Insecure Attachment! 8 Proven Steps to Recognizing Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Styles and Building Healthier, Happier Relationships is the quintessential guide in how-to overcome attachment issues.
Tracy's popular weekly mental health podcast, Freedom From Insecure Attachment offers listeners a different perspective when it comes to breaking the cycle of unhealthy behaviors that keep them stuck repeating pain-inducing actions on auto-pilot. The podcast addresses folks who want to deal with their emotional baggage and get unstuck, happy, and have a clear mindset.
Each Thursday at 9amPT/NoonET she also hosts a Facebook/Youtube Live on Overcoming Insecure Attachment.
Tracy's book: Overcoming Insecure Attachment! 8 Proven Steps to Recognizing Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Styles and Building Healthier, Happier Relationships is the quintessential guide in how-to overcome attachment issues.
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
August 8, 2024
Recomand
December 22, 2022
I did not care for the tone or writing style of this book. It felt like drill sergeant + toxic masculinity + an ounce of therapist.
Some select quotes:
“Speak your truth and handle your emotions like an adult” (a subheading)
“So many people strive for perfection to cover up feeling like they’re screwed up. Striving for perfection is a lonely club, as you know, especially after reading about all the ways you might have chosen to torture yourself. Happy people are screwed up; sad people are screwed up; everyone is screwed up, including you. Welcome to the club. It’s a big club, and it has a motto: “be happy, even though you’re screwed up.“ It includes making choices for the authentic you from a place of happiness, rather than fear.”
“As you make movement with your choices from love, another interesting thing happens: the dick in your head starts to shut up. Things on the inside will get quieter and calmer, rather than loud, and obnoxious. The critical voice that was keeping you on a roller coaster of anxiety and trying to be good enough will stop.”
I skimmed this book and tried to find information I could use/apply. It does have some beneficial points, but I had to dig through muck to find them. The “tough love” approach was so distracting.
Obviously, I don’t recommend this book. But if you got/get something helpful out of it, great.
Some select quotes:
“Speak your truth and handle your emotions like an adult” (a subheading)
“So many people strive for perfection to cover up feeling like they’re screwed up. Striving for perfection is a lonely club, as you know, especially after reading about all the ways you might have chosen to torture yourself. Happy people are screwed up; sad people are screwed up; everyone is screwed up, including you. Welcome to the club. It’s a big club, and it has a motto: “be happy, even though you’re screwed up.“ It includes making choices for the authentic you from a place of happiness, rather than fear.”
“As you make movement with your choices from love, another interesting thing happens: the dick in your head starts to shut up. Things on the inside will get quieter and calmer, rather than loud, and obnoxious. The critical voice that was keeping you on a roller coaster of anxiety and trying to be good enough will stop.”
I skimmed this book and tried to find information I could use/apply. It does have some beneficial points, but I had to dig through muck to find them. The “tough love” approach was so distracting.
Obviously, I don’t recommend this book. But if you got/get something helpful out of it, great.
February 22, 2022
"You just let go, because you realize you do not care what the outcome is anymore. You realize you are willing to do just enough and not deplete yourself. And when you know that, you will no longer overexert yourself to force anything, you are getting to happiness."
No book has read me this hard before. Ok but like this book is like my therapist bestie telling me what's up and that I need to focus less on other people (stop becoming attached to outcomes, stop manipulating others, stop people pleasing, stop assuming and personalizing others' intentions and actions) and to focus on myself, my own emotions and feelings, first (understand and accept my fears, be authentic, be emotionally vulnerable, receive from others and myself, take ownership of my actions, break my own rules).
However, this book's title is misleading in that it never explores, let alone defines, the 2 attachment styles (avoidant and anxious) and I really wished it had.
No book has read me this hard before. Ok but like this book is like my therapist bestie telling me what's up and that I need to focus less on other people (stop becoming attached to outcomes, stop manipulating others, stop people pleasing, stop assuming and personalizing others' intentions and actions) and to focus on myself, my own emotions and feelings, first (understand and accept my fears, be authentic, be emotionally vulnerable, receive from others and myself, take ownership of my actions, break my own rules).
However, this book's title is misleading in that it never explores, let alone defines, the 2 attachment styles (avoidant and anxious) and I really wished it had.
February 20, 2022
Dit boek heeft oprecht een shift teweeggebracht in mijn perceptie van geluk en zelfbewustzijn. Dit boek overanalyseert geen attachment-stijlen onderbouwd met zware theorie en testen waarvan de uitslag je in een hokje plaatsen. Het voelt meer als een no bullshit therapy session waar ik op een luchtige manier werd geconfronteerd met mijn avoidant behavior. Het boek staat bol van de wisdom nuggets en schrijfopdrachten om tot de kern van je gevoel te komen in plaats van intellectualizeren. Het enige wat ik jammer vind is dat er veel overlap is in de opdrachten. Daarnaast voelde het alsof dit boek voor mij geschreven is en luister ik ook vaak Tracy's podcasts, dus ben wel picie biased 😋🤪
April 27, 2024
This book is like your ex, who gaslighting you. "You're crazy, if you have this reaction! It's your problem, not mine!"
If you act like piece of sh*t, be sure, you'll my reaction. I was so angry for this book!
And you can say "It's not a book, it's respond from your trauma" Not, if book says, that my feelings aren't valid, it should go and fu*k itself!
Thanks for attention!
If you act like piece of sh*t, be sure, you'll my reaction. I was so angry for this book!
And you can say "It's not a book, it's respond from your trauma" Not, if book says, that my feelings aren't valid, it should go and fu*k itself!
Thanks for attention!
February 15, 2025
Maybe 2.5 is better because it was just alright. I took what was helpful and left what wasn't, or didn't align with my personality.
I wasn't a huge fan of the writing style, and while I know that self esteem, love, and confidence are important sentiments to build...I found some advice a little too individualistically minded for my tastes.
I wasn't a huge fan of the writing style, and while I know that self esteem, love, and confidence are important sentiments to build...I found some advice a little too individualistically minded for my tastes.
April 10, 2023
Love this book. Must be read and workbook activities engaged in, then it can truly help you change. I’ve loved doing this in the mornings—it’s been a spiritual/emotional practice of sorts to reflect deeply on where I’m at and where I’m going.
August 13, 2022
.............
April 1, 2023
A very easy step by step approach towards understanding the trademarks of the attachment style.
Each learning section is followed by self-paced exercises.
Each learning section is followed by self-paced exercises.
June 1, 2023
This book changed my life!
November 30, 2023
This is a very good book for all type A folks to live authentic life.
April 25, 2024
There are a lot of good, well researched, accessible books on this subject. This book is not one of them.
August 25, 2024
I didn't really learn much 😕
April 30, 2022
Overcoming Insecure Attachment feels like me to a tee. I felt like I could relate to almost everything Tracy Crossley wrote as I read.
This is not meant to be read in one go and for you to say, “I’m done!” You have to take the time to read and implement the exercises. Reading without putting the information into action is pointless. At that point, why even bother reading it at all? You must read the foundation in order, but once you get to the sections about the steps, you can skip around as you please. Overcoming Insecure Attachment is something that I will read again and use when I need to.
This is not meant to be read in one go and for you to say, “I’m done!” You have to take the time to read and implement the exercises. Reading without putting the information into action is pointless. At that point, why even bother reading it at all? You must read the foundation in order, but once you get to the sections about the steps, you can skip around as you please. Overcoming Insecure Attachment is something that I will read again and use when I need to.
June 4, 2022
Great read if you rely on other people to make you happy. Lots of moments in the book that point out things you unconsciously do to people please or play victim to receive love. Actionable items require lots of journaling.
Tracy also has a podcast is great which I visit weekly to help retain information in this book.
Tracy also has a podcast is great which I visit weekly to help retain information in this book.
February 2, 2022
A surprisingly readable, accessible and actionable book, to which "insecure attachment" was only a starting point.
Unlike Lovenheim's text, which tended to pathologise people into neat bland boxes and leave them there, this book challenged readers to contemplate their life in specific and measurable ways, and see what they could do to improve it.
Unlike Lovenheim's text, which tended to pathologise people into neat bland boxes and leave them there, this book challenged readers to contemplate their life in specific and measurable ways, and see what they could do to improve it.
October 30, 2023
Awesome book.... Helped me alot...
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews