Can't Stop Thinking: How to Let Go of Anxiety and Free Yourself from Obsessive Rumination

by Nancy Colier, Stephan Bodian (Foreword)

“Read this book and experience the freedom to create your reality.”
—Deepak Chopra, MD, author of Total Meditation

Don’t believe everything your mind tells you.

Are you a chronic overthinker? Do you obsess to the point of feeling anxious, hopeless, angry, or stressed out? Have you ever tried to “think your way out” of one of these negative thought spirals, only to fall in deeper? Let’s face trying to escape your thoughts—or control them—just doesn’t work, and can actually make you more  miserable in the long run. So, how can you overcome your addiction to thinking?
 
In  Can’t Stop Thinking , psychotherapist and spiritual counselor Nancy Colier offers the keys to breaking free from the obsessive rumination that drives stress, worry, and anxiety. Using powerful tools grounded in the ancient wisdom of mindfulness and evidence-based acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), you’ll learn how to observe and gain distance from troubling thoughts, put an end to harsh self-criticism, and manage difficult feelings like resentment and shame.

If you’re ready to discover a life beyond your thoughts—one of self-compassion, presence, and peace—it’s time to stop thinking and start  living .
 

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Audiobook, Mental Health, Science, Adult

160 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 2021

About the author

A longtime student of Eastern spirituality, Nancy Colier is a psychotherapist, interfaith minister, and the author The Emotionally Exhausted Woman: Why You’re Feeling Depleted and How to Get What You Need (New Harbinger, 2022), as well as numerous other books. She is a thought leader and national speaker on women’s empowerment, wellbeing, and mindful technology, and has been featured on Good Morning America, The New York Times, and countless other media. She is also a regular blogger for Psychology Today. In addition, Nancy spent 25 years as a nationally top-ranked equestrian and serves as a performance consultant to professional athletes and artists.

Reviews

[Vui Lên · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nhiều đoạn có giá trị lắm nhen, mà nhiều đoạn nó cứ rối lên luôn vậy.

Mình đọc profile tác giả thấy cũng được lắm.. Phần mở đầu cũng xịn luôn nhưng càng đọc càng thấy mơ hồ.

Bố cục sách cũng làm mình thấy rối. Thành ra đọc cuốn sách về gỡ rối nhưng lại thêm phần bối rối.

[Dianna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think all of us humans had enough when it comes to anger, resentment, guilt felt because we spoke too soon, without thinking and overall negative vibrations. This book I’m reading is here to help me, us but especially you to stop being a pain in the ass for yourself and the ones you care about and love. You have to care for yourself and start doing things for yourself and this is why this journey of change can only be made alone. Just you walking this road and it depends only on you, enough with the dumb excuses, aren’t you ashamed of saying lies after lies and keep throwing that victim card over and over again?

You are in charge of your own life, thoughts and feelings and only you can make yourself great or a victim with no reason to be one.

In Can’t Stop Thinking, psychotherapist and spiritual counselor Nancy Colier offers the keys to breaking free from the obsessive rumination that drives stress, worry, and anxiety. Using powerful tools grounded in the ancient wisdom of mindfulness and evidence-based acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), you’ll learn how to observe and gain distance from troubling thoughts, put an end to harsh self-criticism, and manage difficult feelings like resentment and shame.

I know this may sound repetitive especially on my blog but meditation does wonders, practice is the only med you need to help you conquer your mind, thoughts and feelings. It does wonders! It’s not easy to change but it isn’t impossible either and you have to do it dude, because otherwise you’ll end up horrified of your own actions and alone. Truth.

This book can give you a heads up and also can help you find yourself and get rid of all this bs you’ve been making up for your own demise.

[Cyndi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This has a lot of practical advice and it’s repeated so that the reader will really learn and understand. This is one that I will be re-reading.

[Rebecca · Rating 2 out of 5]

Fun fact: every time this book used the word “ruminate” (which was a lot), the image of a cow just flashed unbidden into my mind.

~~~

Podcast episode on this one up on Two Retired Homeschoolers! https://youtu.be/E4UorV3zBps

[Leslie McKee · Rating 3 out of 5]

As someone who overthinks, I was looking forward to reading this book.

The author does a nice job of providing a quick overview of overthinking and how easy, and destructive, it is to get stuck in the cycle of obsessive thinking. She provides information on mindfulness and various tips to help the reader move beyond their unhealthy thinking. The author provides various tasks throughout the book to give the reader a chance to apply the concepts. There are lots of personal stories, which readers will likely find relatable. If you suffer from overthinking, this could be a helpful book to check out. While it won't provide a quick fix, it does give a lot of food for thought on reducing negative thinking.

Disclaimer: I received a complimentary copy, but I wasn't required to leave a positive review.

[Esther · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would have rated this book 5 stars if it was setup in a more practical way. There is so much good stuff, so much wisdom and common sense there, but when presented in this textbook-like format with no way to easily browse back, find and re-read a certain topic of interest...sigh...there is no way that this book could be practically used as a standalone book. I feel it's not a great reference work. Perhaps only for therapists as complementary to sessions.

The exercises are all over the place and could have been put together in a separate booklet. Such a shame. I really appreciate everything that I've read, but I won't remember most of it, because of the way the text (isn't) organised.

Free ARC by Netgalley.

[Bojan · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good!

[Panda Incognito · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good book for people who struggle with overthinking, worry, self-blaming thoughts, rehearsing past grievances, and intrusive thoughts. However, even though I would recommend it, I deeply disagree with many of the author's philosophical presuppositions, and was only interested in the practical advice.

This book also could have been organized in a more helpful way. Sometimes, the exposition is overly long-winded, burying key practical points in the author's life reflection. It would also be easier for readers to remember and apply the author's advice if the book had included self-evaluation checklists and lists of key ideas, and if the practical exercises had appeared at the end of each chapter, instead of appearing at random intervals within the text.

[The Rev. Dr. Matthew]

Not going to give this one a rating as I did not engage with the exercises as intended and treated this as more of an intellectual understanding of the role of thoughts and thinking. I tried to do some of the exercises, but much of it requires sitting down or at least being still which wasn't going to happen for me while I was listening to it as I was walking and cleaning.
The thesis is basically twofold; thinking is the source of a lot of mental pain and worsening of our mental wellness. Being able to understand how to stop thinking and bring ourselves into the moment is important, but also understanding the role thoughts play in our wellness will help overcome some of the pain they bring us.
Overall it was very helpful in reframing my relationship with thinking and what exactly my thoughts represent. There's a lot to work with, but persistence and consistency will be key to fully embracing it which is difficult given that thoughts not being objective or just being an opinion is simply not what we are evolutionarily built to understand. But our modern day life isn't exactly what evolution prepared us for is it?

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

*Can't Stop Thinking* by Nancy Colier offers a thoughtful exploration of how our minds can become trapped in an endless loop of overthinking. Drawing from her experience as a psychotherapist, Colier delves into the root causes of our obsession with constant thought and provides insights on how to break free from this mental habit. The book is rooted in mindfulness and encourages readers to cultivate awareness and presence as a way to escape the cycle of relentless thinking.

While Colier's insights are valuable and relatable, the book can feel repetitive at times. The message of mindfulness is emphasized throughout, but it may not offer much new for those already familiar with mindfulness practices. The writing is straightforward and accessible, making it a good introduction for readers new to the topic, but those looking for deeper or more advanced strategies might find it lacking.

That said, *Can't Stop Thinking* does a good job of validating the struggles many people face with overthinking. Colier’s compassionate tone and practical advice provide comfort to readers who feel overwhelmed by their thoughts. She offers exercises and techniques to help quiet the mind, which can be helpful for those looking for actionable steps to reduce mental chatter.

Overall, the book provides a solid introduction to mindfulness and the concept of stepping back from overthinking. While it may not be groundbreaking, it's a helpful resource for those seeking a gentle reminder to live more mindfully and find peace amidst the noise of their thoughts.

[Seth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Going into this book, I thought that it might include things regarding religion and spirituality considering the author’s beliefs, but I was pleasantly surprised when everything was very down-to-Earth and relatable, regardless of one’s beliefs.

I feel like there were plenty of things I previously didn’t consider regarding my thoughts that were discussed in this book, and other things I understood but couldn’t quite put into words myself that were laid out very clearly. A lot of things resonated with me and helped me understand the way I think as well as the way others may think a bit more.

All around, there’s plenty of good advice, relatable suggestions, and actual exercises on how to deal with and eventually overcome anxiety and obsessive rumination. It’ll take much more than reading one book to let go of all the overthinking that’s been built up over a lifetime. There’ll still be a lot of work to do beyond reading this book, at least I know there is for me, but this book is a great place to start on that journey.

[Logan N Keseg · Rating 3 out of 5]

Can’t Stop Thinking by Nancy Colier was a decent read.

The book covered various styles of suffering from obsessive thinking, self criticism, and catastrophizing. When the main styles were all stated Nancy then went onto explain the different types of tools that could help someone who overthinks too much.

Much of this information was not new to me, but was still good to read about as it helped pre-existing solidify ideas/exercises in my mind.

If there was one major takeaway for me personally, it would be that “We are not our thoughts, but simply the awareness that identifies them.”

Overall, I’d say it’s a solid read for someone who has trouble getting their mind to quiet down & also for the person who has trouble enjoying being in the moment.

[Lowry Mainereader · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are some books that are well written and calmly reassuring. This book that reminds us that we control nothing but our own thinking and encourages us occasionally turn off our busy minds, is one.

[Jessie · Rating 5 out of 5]

very helpful in giving concrete, simple ways to combat overthinking. Early on in reading I felt the benefits of the exercises, and have called upon them in moments when I feel my thoughts becoming unmanageable.

[Broken Lifeboat · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great content but poor organization. Can't Stop Thinking encourages mindfulness and intentional awareness to counter the "addiction to thinking".

This book is a good addition to a continuing mindfulness practice and helpful for seeing your thoughts as things that are separate from your self.

[Erika · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

[Mia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing amazing amazing - actually helpful if you have chronic anxiety or OCD, ACTUALLY helpful. I got this out from the library but I am going to purchase it to keep when I can afford it :-)

[Kristine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I definitely do obsess over things that happen and also tend to rethink about resentments and mistakes often, so this book was really great for me. It gives practical advice on how to notice you are falling into a pattern of just following whatever your brain thinks at the moment. The author does a great job saying you are not your thoughts. It is possible to just accept obsessive, negative, or irrational thoughts and shut them down.

This will take practice. The idea that thinking everything through is necessary is not true. If you just repeatedly think about something does not lead to better decision making. It has the opposite effect. Instead it causes dread, anxiety, and feeling overwhelmed. So, that makes complete sense to me.

The next big point was about constantly assigning blame to others behavior as though we are mind readers. Then this can lead to resentment and anger. We often think our perception is the only one and it is often wrong. It would be much better to simply let others think as they like and not have to be ‘right’. That sounds easy, but I think it is often hard to do, but it would make life much easier.

Last, liked suggestion that you come up with a saying that you repeat that is productive. If you are stuck in a negative thought pattern, remind yourself you can handle it, want to be calm, and can stop doing this. It is possible to look at things in a different way.

The only suggestion I have is I wish the book had the reading part and a separate section for the exercises to practice. That would make it easier to have a section to refer to and practice the exercises.

Overall though, I thought this book was very helpful. I usually don’t like self-help books much, but this one recommends accepting responsibility for our actions and then actively doing something fairly simple to stop this. The goal is to make progress and not seek perfection. We can acknowledge making a mistake, take responsibility for it, make amends, and then drop it. We do not need to then revisit what happened and think it over a little more.

Thank you NetGalley, Nancy Colier, and New Harbinger Publications for a copy of this book.

[Tara · Rating 3 out of 5]

‘Can’t stop thinking’ is a quick, easy read exploring the ins and outs of the kind of overthinking that makes the world feel like it’s ending immanently. I picked this book up because I’m constantly in one cycle of obsessive thinking or another and thought it couldn’t hurt to get some pointers.

The book provides a gentle introduction into the use of mindfulness and acceptance and commitment therapy to help the reader disconnect from their unhealthy thoughts, and become more aware of when their thoughts are more harmful than helpful.

I really enjoyed the chapters talking about self-imposed victimhood, because shamefully they felt like a real reflection of my negative headspace.
‘With all our righteous rightness, we succeed only at building ourselves a cage of anger, dissatisfaction and victimhood in which we then have to live’.
I felt that. Going into reading this book I expected it to be simply filled with tasks to complete, but I was actually faced with a narrative that made me realise there were more than a few instances where I’d previously thought my diligent overthinking was ‘thinking carefully about the situation’ but now realise was actually ‘stupid and anger-provoking’. It felt good to be hit on the head with some common sense, backed up by the warm promise that it’s both normal and avoidable.

I found that the narrative provided plenty of opportunities for self-reflection, but I think it would have benefitted from a structure on how to implement the strategies in everyday practice as is suggested. This is largely left up to the reader, which could benefit those looking for positive suggestions as opposed to an entire rehaul of how they approach thinking.
I also felt that the bulk of the text centered on providing arguments for why changing your thinking is a positive, and perhaps slightly lacked in ways to actually go about this changing. While mindfulness and ACT are genuinely good approaches I felt that they weren’t the main focus of the narrative at times.
I would recommend this book to anyone who suffers from chronic overthinking as it (ironically) gives you plenty to think about in terms of positive change. While it, like many other self-help books, will not be the answer to all of your problems, it’s an excellent beginners guide to reducing the impact of your negative thoughts.

[Marjorie Fuchs · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautifully written, short gem of a book that I will no doubt pick up again and again.
I have become increasingly interested in mindfulness and meditation – both doing it, and reading about it. This is not just another book on “how to” meditate or “how to” do mindfulness, of which there are many out there. This book offers something even more valuable than that. Whether you are a meditator or not, “Can’t Stop Thinking” will help you to disengage from the non-stop loops, the rabbit holes, and the runaway trains of thoughts – usually negative ones – that consume our minds, cause us to suffer, and prevent us from feeling fulfilled and at peace. Nancy Colier tackles these loftiest of questions, which lie at the intersection of the psychological, the spiritual and the philosophical, and she does so with compassion, modesty, practicality, wisdom, honesty and humor.
Ms. Colier identifies the various ways we get stuck in negative thought loops – ruminating, blaming and resenting others, blaming and criticizing ourselves, worrying about the future, regretting and rehashing the past. Most humans, I suspect, can relate to one if not all of the scenarios she describes. But far more importantly, she provides tools, guidance and exercises to learn how to get unstuck and find joy and peace in the here and now. These lessons are delivered through beautiful prose, short digestible chapters, relatable anecdotes, and short exercises, and always in a tone of kindness and compassion.
As Ms. Colier acknowledges and explains, recovering from our addiction to ruminating and over-thinking is a life-long process, not an overnight fix. This is one of those books that I will keep on my bedside table and pick up for a quick refresher course and dose of inspiration, as and when needed.

[Amy Belkin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Take note: Can’t Stop Thinking by Nancy Colier is a radical book! In a mere 146 pages, it has the potential to transform the reader’s life to its core. Presenting information from anthropology, psychology, and spirituality as well as offering evocative questions and contemplative exercises, Colier helps us understand our frequently dysfunctional relationship with thinking so as to release its hold on who we “think” we are. What a relief! The numerous subjects, many with provocative titles such as “Discover the You That’s Bigger Than Thought,” led me to profound contemplations, and I suggest that readers take time to allow each topic’s valuable insights to emerge and become a part of their lives. Actually, this book deserves to be read several times for it is abundant with wisdom and revelations. In truth, Nancy Colier is a gifted teacher who compassionately and skillfully presents a clear path to move us beyond our identification with incessant everyday thinking. But then she goes even further and reveals a greater perspective of who we are and the freedom that’s possible beyond the chains of thought.

[Elise Farand · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author provides a solid introduction to overthinking and thinking as an addiction. Several real-life examples from clients are included, and - if you’re an over thinker - will likely resonate with you. Hello, validation!

In terms of tools, I was hungry for more. The exercises that are included provide a good starting point; however, they did not feel groundbreaking. The book essentially encourages mindfulness and “getting out of your head” by realizing that you are not your thoughts. For me, this did not provide enough guidance for proper behaviour intervention. It is, however, good food for thought!

[Pamy Nguyễn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Trong quá trình thực hành ngừng suy nghĩ, mình đã phải ngừng đọc quá nhiều vì mình ngừng suy nghĩ nhiều quá đến nỗi mình không nghĩ được gì và đi ngủ luôn :))

[Andreas Peterson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every page of this book was what I needed in order to move to the next stage of my journey to conquer anxiety and overthinking. It covers many of the concepts I've found elsewhere, including in therapy and in other books such as "The Happiness trap," but this book has some profound differences that really opened my eyes.

The author discusses something revolutionary that at first glance seems like heresy: Thinking is the PROBLEM, not the SOLUTION. Thinking is an ADDICTION. Just as healthy eating or sex or social media use can be twisted into addictive behaviors to numb out, our thinking often becomes a means of escape, a means of problem-solving just as useless as trying to find answers in the bottom of a wine bottle. We are in love with and find comfort in escaping into our minds, certain that if we just problem-solve HARD enough, we'll fix past problems or avoid future troubles. But it's all fiction. We won't actually feel better with MORE thinking or MORE control.

Additionally, she really helped me understand the concept of mindfulness, which has always felt elusive and "woowoo" to me. Instead she uses the term AWARENESS (or observation). Instead of using our faculties to analyze thoughts about the past or future, we can use them to observe things as they are in the moment, finding that calm space of addressing the here and now instead of the (often false) narratives and analysis of what the past meant or what the future might be.

A very valuable read, I made many notes for myself while reading, and am sure to re-read it to really solidify the concepts for myself.

[Readers Prescription · Rating 3 out of 5]

Would you like to learn how to exit from repetitive thinking, rumination,and destructive self criticism?
All you need are some tools , to bring about some self-compassion, peace of mind, and to have a more joyous life !!

SIGN .ME .UP!!!

The newest research , and easy to read book is called , CAN’T STOP THINKING by Nancy Colier!
How do we respond to our life?
Life is not always pleasing or painless.
This book shows us how to relate to our thoughts. You know those bouncing, rollercoaster ,
terrifying,
disastrous ones?
“Disastrous thinking is the thief of joy!”
The horror of these thoughts are only thoughts. They don’t exist anywhere except within our mind. “Our thoughts are NOT us!!”
This book, Can’t Stop Thinking, offers you powerful tools to shut off the excessive thinking. Imagine that for a few moments. (Yes, think about it :) )
Our minds are not always the appropriate tool to improve our life.
The exercises in this book are designed to help you to observe and navigate your mind.
Through awareness , you will find a better way of living , you will also find a sense of peace that surpasses all the understanding of the negative thinking.
The author provides personal stories and exercises to use yourself.
I feel this book is very timely especially during this COVID 19 pandemic era.

Special thanks to NetGalley and New Harbinger Publications, Inc. for sharing this digital review copy with me in exchange for an honest review.

#CantStopThinking #NetGalley

[Bob Colwick · Rating 5 out of 5]

"There are roads which must not be followed, armies which must not be attacked, towns which must not be besieged, positions which must not be contested, commands of the sovereign which must not be obeyed." - Sun Tzu, The Art of War

These are wise words from a wise man; previous study of them led me to focus on my own external threats, problems, and strife. However, until I read Can't Stop Thinking: How to Let Go of Anxiety & Free Yourself from Obsessive Rumination, I had never considered the inherent truth (and freedom) of the threat being internally-generated and not aggressively analyzing every thought that wandered into my head. My logic was as follows: if my brain creates a thought, it must exist for a reason...if the reason isn't inherently understandable, then it must be rigorously examined until it makes sense. Lather, rinse, repeat ad infinitum...

As a result, my logic was draining the life out of me.

Instead of weeding out the stray thoughts ("why did Joe look at me that way?", "what if my younger son joins a gang?", "I can't believe Susie treated me so horribly five years ago", etc), my life to date has consisted of letting each and every one have their say and then leave me trying to figure out the meanings. New thoughts would then enter my mind before I was through examining other thoughts, and the cycle persisted with no end in sight.

Thankfully, author Nancy Colier teaches readers how to recognize intrusive thoughts, understand the merit (or lack thereof) they contain, acknowledge that we are not our thoughts, and then pass them out of our conscious thought without letting them stop and cause damaging rumination. Before reading this book, I was unaware of this vicious cycle that has been churning in my brain for over 47 years; now I am well-equipped to see it happening and fight back by letting go.

[Nicole · Rating 3 out of 5]

Still, the question goes unanswered, how do I let go of anxiety and free myself from obsessive rumination?

I found Can't Stop Thinking a bit dry, and for a shorter book, it felt long, but it did have some decent practical takeaways. Anyone with an overactive, overthinking mind will be able to resonate or find the content in the book applicable.

There is no 'OFF' button with addictive thinking, and we'll think, why am I still thinking about this? I want to stop. Why can't I stop? It can be astoundingly tough to pull our attention away from negative thought loops. We are physically, mentally, and emotionally hooked, intensely resistant to the idea of letting go of the thoughts, no matter how much pain they're creating or how much we hate thinking about them. We are at war with our thoughts and ourselves at the same time.

The point of the book is to help you build awareness to cultivate more consciousness and a relationship with your thoughts, break free from thought compulsion, and be content regardless of your thoughts.

[Sashka Stojakov · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an ARC by Netgalley.

This book partially gave me what I expected: I wanted ideas on how to stop ruminating, examples as well as exercises, this is all that awaits you. Examples were good, most of them reminded me of myself or someone close to me. However, I didn’t enjoy the exercises that much because I had the feeling they would work better only if you did them on a therapy session. When I tried doing them on my own, I would often end up skipping or ignoring, then returning to them until I have completed them. Had these exercises been created differently, it would have been less complicated for the reader.

In addition, I enjoyed certain ideas in the book. Until reading the book, I didn’t realize how much thoughts can be burdening and overwhelming, especially when we are creating the problem out of nothing.

I am happy I had the chance to read this book and learn something new which I will try to implement in the future.

[Kati · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really liked the first half of this book and there were even some quotes that I wrote down to come back to them later, when I feel a little lost. I saw myself in many of the model situations mentioned here. But the second half... I started to feel like a cartoon character who's listening to someone talk and talk and talk until little planets start circling her head and her eyes turn into those funny little spirals. It felt like amassing pages for the sake of it.

Also, when Colier started talking about the "real me" which is, apparently, neither our physical body nor our thoughts since neither is permanent, both are ever-changing, but we do have a "real me" that's beneath all that. And though she called it many times, at no point did she mention a soul even though she's an "inter-faith minister" (whatever that means). I found that... interesting. Why not? Why avoid calling our "real me" our soul? I think that for many readers that would be less esoteric than any other term.

[David Leech · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not too many books would I put right up there as life-changing, but this is one of them. I feel I've done a lot of work over the last couple of years trying to focus more on feeling and less on thinking, and this book arrived at just the right time. It was a few months ago that I worked on recognizing the space between emotions and feelings, and this book did a similar leap, in helping me recognize the difference between thinking and awareness. Thank you Nancy Colier. I judge that you have a wonderful balance between rational thinking, mindfulness and small-s spirituality. You should be up there with all the Ivy League folk invited to the podcasts of Sam Harris, Sean Carroll, Glennon Doyle and their ilk.