The Twentysomething Handbook: Everything You Actually Need to Know About Real Life

by Nora Bradbury-Haehl

“For an age group overwhelmed with information, Bradbury-Haehl finds a way to make it all manageable.” --Publisher’s Weekly Let’s face adulting isn’t easy. That’s why young-adult minister Nora Bradbury-Haehl created this essential guide to help you avoid the mistakes, missteps, and financial failures that took others years to learn. Each chapter includes practical, actionable advice that addresses the full range of life’s challenges, including how Whether you’re seeking meaning and purpose in your life and career or just feeling stuck and confused about your next steps, within these pages you’ll find answers to your most pressing questions and advice, encouragement, and inspiration from others who want to help you through these challenging years—together.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Audiobook, Adult, Psychology

320 pages, Paperback

Published March 9, 2021

About the author

Nora Bradbury-Haehl is an author, speaker, and a nationally recognized voice in the conversation about youth and young adults. Her book The Freshman Survival Guide has sold over 130,000 copies. She’s worked as a development editor at Saint Mary’s Press, the leading Catholic publisher of religion and spirituality texts for teens in the United States. Nora came to publishing from more than twenty-five years in the trenches, working directly with teens and twenty-somethings. As a church youth worker, she has spent her life creating supportive communities for young people and helping them navigate the challenges of adolescence and early adulthood.
The Freshman Survival Guide emerged from Nora’s youth work. A popular article she wrote for BustedHalo.com, grew into an online sensation and was downloaded over 30,000 times. The article became a book and agent Joelle DelBourgo sold the book at auction to the Center Street imprint at Hachette Book Group.
It was featured in a surprisingly lengthy segment—five and half really funny minutes!—on The Late Show with David Letterman. https://youtu.be/cuidDukQyfE
Nora is a leader in interfaith work in her hometown of Rochester, New York . She is chair of the annual Global Citizenship Conference, a local interfaith program that gathers over 700 high school students with diverse faith leaders to build interfaith understanding and cooperation. She also directs the Global Citizenship Immersion program each summer for the Hickey Center for Interfaith Studies and Dialogue at Nazareth College.
Nora is an experienced public speaker, retreat and workshop leader. She has been a frequent presenter at the National Catholic Youth Conference, leading workshops for large groups of young people (500-1500 teens) and their adult leaders.

Reviews

[Ashley Adams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Surprisingly helpful, even though I'm a thirtysomething. I'd buy this as a gift for college-goers in my life. It reads really quickly and is full of relevant, useful information. Still, not overwhelming and with a light, humorous tone.

[Alicia Bayer · Rating 2 out of 5]

As the parent of two twenty-something year olds and more coming along, I had high hopes for this book. I don't think my kids are its demographic for one thing, as it starts out assuming that the reader has now moved to a new city away from everybody. Why is this the assumption? I get that it's frequently the case, but my kids have purchased homes in our tiny town and live nearby. Some kids in this age bracket are even still at home (this is touched on later), and I'm sure plenty of others are at least in the same town they grew up in. There's also just a lot of assumptions about life choices, lifestyles, work, etc. There's much more focus on dealing with issues than real-life skills you may need. I recommend browsing it first and seeing if it's a good fit for yourself or your recipient.

I read a temporary digital ARC of this book for review.

[Patricia Oates · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought I was going to DNF this because I’m self-help book avoidant. There was actually some really practical advice in here for people adjusting to the “real world” after graduating college. Felt big sister-esque

Learning to love where you are & finding purpose elsewhere if not in career

[Ancillar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Huge thanks to the publisher for my ARC in exchange for an honest review

I could have used this book when I turned twenty but nevertheless, some of the advice is still quite worthy emulating even though I have missed up along the way. Nora Bradbury-Haehl offers wisdom in these pages that we all need at some point in our lives. The chapters are short, easy to grasp, practical, and interesting to read. It read as a lunch date with your BFF (that's how awesome it was) Bradbury-Haehl addresses topics like managing debt, workplace drama, and characters you will encounter, and also family dynamics.This book will make a perfect gift and I highly recommend it

[Emily · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thank you to Netgalley for the ARC!

I found the advice to be not only vague, but incredibly basic. Some of the advice might have been helpful when I was getting ready to leave home for the first time at 18, but by 24, a lot of it made me just feel like “well, duh…” For example, “Be a courteous coworker.” It's not that it's bad advice, it's just not that helpful.

Another example: the section on landlord/tenant relations: I think this potentially could be very helpful for a 20-something to know, but as someone who has dealt with landlords in the past and is about to finish law school where I learned the legal rights and requirements for leasing, I could probably write this section myself.

So overall, I don't think this is a bad book, I just think that the targetted audience is off. I'm 24, so I should be right in the demographic for a "twentysomething handbook", but I felt like the advice was much too young for me.

[Mark McElreath · Rating 2 out of 5]

The vast majority of this book would be helpful for young adults starting to "adult" on their own and who may have little to no understanding of house hunting, starting a career, living on their own, taxes, etc. The book's overt tone of secularism and acceptance of sinful lifestyles is unhelpful and just brings more confusion to those in an already confusing stage of life.

[Theresa Monahan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nora Bradbury-Haehl's new book, The Twentysomething Handbook, is well worth the read for anyone in their twenties and who needs support in learning how to handle life. There is a lot to know about how to be a responsible, kind, caring adult. The Twentysomething Handbook is a wonderful, amazing guide in teaching important life lessons. It gives one advice from not only the author but from other twentysomethings as well. With this book, one can learn how to overcome difficult life lessons from living in a new city to dealing with making oneself fulfilled with purpose. Anyone can learn from it.

[Mary Sweitz · Rating 3 out of 5]

This would be good to read as an 18-year-old. Any older than that, and this all feels very surface level, middle school advice column. There are a few tidbits of knowledge but generally not too helpful for me.

[Don Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nora has insights not just from years of working with the age group, but from consulting them! You are getting wisdom from the author AND twenty-somethings that really applies to real life.

[Kat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whether you’re just turning 20, or you’re already on your 2nd apartment and 3rd full time job, this book is for you! Nora’s book gives you guidelines for starting off, but also how to adjust your current life to be the best you can make it if you’re in the middle of it all. This book is great because it can be read straight through, or you can pick it up on a certain chapter about something in your life you’re working on (like how do I learn how to cook for myself or find the right apartment?!). I’ve always wanted an easy go to for #adulting. And Nora provides you with information to work on your life. Being a 20something in the 21st century is really hard. It’s so different than the way our parents lived and it’s hard to find advice out there that doesn’t sound tone deaf. Nora shares relatable pieces of advice and reminds you that you’re not in this alone. This is a MUST HAVE for high school and college graduates! Even if a topic in the book doesn’t apply to the reader currently, it’s still a great resource to keep for the future if or when the topic does apply. This isn’t just a read once and forget it. This is a sticky notes, highlighted sections, notes in the margins book. You will have comfort in knowing you have the tools and resources to navigate your 20s (and 30s, 40s, 50s, etc.).

[Jamie · Rating 3 out of 5]

“When someone from an older generation says to you, “when I was your age...,” whatever comes after that needs to be tempered by the understanding that the social constructs that supported them are often entirely different or nonexistent today.”
_________

✨
Almost out of my TwentySomething’s, I decided to pick up this book because self-help books are some of my favorites to read. There is just something about a complete stranger telling me how to manage anxiety, put up healthy boundaries, and reinforce self-care techniques that I really love. I’ll start by saying, this book was not written for “late TwentySomething” folks but definitely “early TwentySomething” folks. There is a lot of good information in here - from budgeting to cooking - that I could have used 5 to 7 years ago when I was cooking oatmeal and tortellini on my Disney College program because I did not know how to make, nor know how to budget for actual food. However, I still enjoyed it. At the end of each chapter, a question or a statement helping you reflect on what you read. I wrote down and processed some really great thoughts on my career, relationship with food, bad habits, and mental health. Like I mentioned, this book was liked by 28-year-old Jamie but would have been loved by 22-year-old Jamie who definitely could have used this to put things in perspective.
____________

✨
You’ll love this book if you love:
- Relevant Self-Help
- Self-Reflection
- Young Adult Self-Help
- Books that feel like you are talking to friends

⭐️⭐️⭐️

(Book 1/24 for GRPL’s Read-A-Thon).

[Ivy Digest · Rating 2 out of 5]

What a great promise! If only. It's not everything you need to know.

Nora has worked with young adults for over 25 years so she’s aware of their pressures and anxieties. She helps them maintain their confidence, well-being, and sanity as they transition into full adulthood.

Se doesn’t want youths to worry. So she aims to give them basic information as they begin their independent life: how to find a job and rental; familiarize yourself in your new neighborhood; live alone or with roommates; eat healthily; and save money.

Nora prioritizes mental health so she gives great advice to identify and deal with various issues like anxiety, anger, addiction, abuse.

It’s also important to maintain family ties; make friends; be a good partner; change bad habits; deal with loss; grieve; support those who grieve; when and how to apologize; forgive yourself and others; and increase your diversity awareness.

Apart from a basic budget and how to build your credit score, this book lacks solid financial advice, a major concern for youths—especially those with student loans and dependents.

This is more about being calm and more contented.

For work, love, money, faith, fitness, parenting, buying a house, and building skills--you need to read elsewhere.

@IvyDigest

[Cat · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's so difficult being a young adult these days. I often wonder where we went wrong as a society for our 20 somethings to be so bewildered at becoming adults. Oftentimes I've been asked by middle aged parents how do you motivate your children? My reply has been the same since my daughter was born: Don't raise children; raise adults! Those who did had kids who turned out self sufficient and went on to have lives, those who didn't have children, and others, like Nora Bradbury-Haehl are trying very hard to guide those ones to adulthood. Lots of common sense advice on being adults in this book. I like that everything is careful explained. Especially the part of getting along with room mates, coworkers, and other folks in general. I have read on several occasions how lonely they are. This book will probably help them in that department. I think it's rather sad that so many young adults have no clue how to be adults any more. I hope this book helps them. Or that they find an adult mentor to guide them along.This book might make a great gift for some poor lost soul. Well written book!

I received a Kindle arc from Netgalley in exchange for a fair review.

[Whitney Bak · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the privilege of receiving an advanced copy of this book, courtesy of the publisher.

Where was this book when I was entering my twenties—or even midway through my twenties? Nora Bradbury-Haehl offers wisdom in these pages that took years of mistakes, missteps, and financial investment (read: therapy) for me to learn. Every chapter is full of practical, actionable advice that reads less like an instruction manual and more like a helpful conversation over coffee with the older sibling I wish I'd had to guide me through my blunder years.

Interspersed with down-to-earth "Twentysomething Talk" sections, which are chock-full of advice from others who have "been there," Bradbury-Haehl addresses topics like managing debt, dealing with roommates, and navigating changing family dynamics, among many others. I'm already creating a mental list of young twentysomethings I could gift this book to—the greatest gift I may ever give them.

[Ashley Mauer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book as part of a Goodreads Giveaway. I think there is definitely a need for a book like this, there are so many “adult things” that people just aren’t taught how to do. However, I’m not sure this book really fills the need. It’s focus is too broad and there aren’t enough details to actually walk you through filing taxes or planning a funeral, instead it just points the reader in the right general direction and wishes them well. The overall attitude throughout is very positive and encouraging, which people struggling with these issues probably need, and it does make a stab at being inclusive by going over a handful of LGBTQ+ related vocabulary, so it does get credit for that.

[Brittany · Rating 3 out of 5]

*I received an eARC of this book in exchange for my review. All opinions are my own.*

This was okay. The information was pretty basic, but useful. It was a little hard to read format wise, because everything was squished together, and I'm assuming an actual cleaned up copy would address this. However, I feel like my library personally has a few books that are similar to this one. I guess it also needs to be said that I'm not the target audience, since I turned 30 in September.

"The Twentysomething Handbook" was published on 3/9/21.

[Aries.Pisces · Rating 5 out of 5]

This author could make a small fortune if she marketed this book to high schools. Whether a class or seminar is built around it or whether it is one that the schools give away, every graduating senior should have a copy of this book. Although the book is titled The Twentysomething Handbook, the information contained is basic information that every person should know, and the sooner the better.

In an age where teens and twentysomethings are raising themselves based on reality TV and social media, The Twentysomething Handbook is that dose of reality that says, "No, no. This is what the real world has in store. This is how you pay bills, rent a place, get along with roommates or your parents if you remain at home. This is what to look for in a job and how you behave once you have one. This is how you make friends and build community.. This is how you take care of yourself and stay sane in the midst of all this adulting." This book is the bridge between the safety net of the family home and the hard truth and expectations of real world.

Interestingly enough, as one who is no longer a twentysomething, I found value in the book as well. If you are newly divorced and having to start over again, a grown child who has had to move back in with their parents, a mother who has recently gone into the workforce after staying home to raise kids, an empty nester trying to establish a new identity....whatever the circumstance, there is valuable information for you as well. No matter what, we all need to know how to build, nurture and maintain community. We certainly need to know how to take care of our physical and mental health. Regardless of age or stage, this book has a lot of wisdom in an intelligently thought out and easy to read package.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I must admit, I picked up this advanced reader copy because all my kids are twentysomethings, and I wanted to see what kind of advice was being offered to that generation. I expected to just scan through it very quickly to see what it covered, but found that I read almost every word - it was a terrific guide to the basics of adulting! It included so much basic info from housing (including what you should expect from landlords and roommates,) to family relationship boundaries, to how to fit into a new community, to job hunting, and even some of the basic things to watch out for in romantic relationships, and on and on. It didn't address some of the confrontational issues young folks are facing today, but more the basics of living in our society today. It is sometimes geared toward a US audience (ie landlord expectations, etc.,) but a lot of the principles will be useful universally. I thought the applicable quotes from several twentysomethings themselves were the perfect touch. Fantastic summary, Nora Bradbury-Haehl. I might just be purchasing copies of this for each of my kids!

#TheTwentysomethingHandbook #NetGalley

[Ellen (Paperback Dietitian) · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a newly minted 30-year-old *gag* I feel like I have a better perspective as far as the applicability and advice offered in this book. It's spot on. I moved into my own apartment (but stayed local) after high school - so had to deal with a range of roommates. Then moved further away to another state for grad school. And then another move to a town and state where I knew no one and felt like a had a very hard time fitting in. Even if you follow all of the advice, some places are just not YOUR place and you're not meant to be there for a long time. I really appreciated that the author included information about mental health, abusive relationships, and self-care as these are all things that I struggled with in my 20s (and somewhat still now - yay for therapy though!). I wish that more financial information was included aside from budgeting as I still don't really understand investing or retirement accounts (401k, 403b, Traditional IRA, Roth IRA, etc.). Would definitely recommend for any new college grads (and high school grads! as many will be moving away from home for the first time).

(Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an eARC in exchange for an honest review.)

[Lisa Konet · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even though this book is for people in the early to mid-twenties, I think this is still relevant information for anyone who never learned or was taught this information in school or from their parents. I wish there would have been classes on these topics when I was in high school almost twenty years, it would have made me a functional adult in today's world. I can balance my checkbook just fine, but I do not understand investments and percentages when it comes to apartments and housing market; or what if it is better to finance or take a loan out for a car. Glad my father is in financial managements and has taught me these things and I have read other books on these topics.

An important book for anyone who has questions or is still confused by these things. Not everyone learns about these topics in their 20s but it is the expectation for everyone as they age.

Recommended and neceassary.

Thanks to Netgalley, Nora Bradbury-Haehl, and Nelson Books Thomas Nelson for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Available: 3/9/21

[Another_Book_to_Ponder · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book to give your adult kids as they launch into the world. We all know how they want to not call and ask questions because that would mean they don’t know something and they feel they aren’t being independent… I know some of our adult children don’t do that but the ones that are bent on finding their own way will appreciate this book.

Nora is like the big sister and helps guide TwentySomething’s through all the things. Your TwentySomething’s might take the advice more willingly. Check it out. I’m highly recommending this to friends whose kids are getting ready to launch.

Topics Include: Finding a job, Apartment hunting, Roomates, Cooking, Cleaning, Budgeting, Navigating family relationships as an adult, Self Care, Relationship things like forgiveness…. and more!

I received a complimentary ARC of this book from NetGalley on behalf of the Publisher and was under no obligation to post a favorable review.

[Jessica Bian · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was ok, very easy and quick read. It was not super useful nor did it provide a lot of new information; the chapter titles all sounded great but the actual content was shallow and ridden with obvious insights. "You can save money by meal-prepping." Wow! Shocker! A lot of the content was very obvious, kind of like reading a wikihow page on how to be a 20 year old. The latter half of the book was slightly better than the first half. It wasn't a completely useless read, but it was disappointing.

My fav insights from the book:
- right now is a pivotal time of 1. exploring who you are in life, work, love 2. instability in life, work, love 3. obligations and focus to self vs others increases 4. feeling in between, in transition 5. possibilities and optimism
- I should take an art class, improv troupe or class, volunteer for a campaign effort, find a book club, participate in writing critique class

[(a)lyss(a) · Rating 2 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book through the Amazon Vine program in exchange for an honest review.

This book wasn't for me. I don't think I'm really the demographic to begin with.

This book seems like it's for late teens, very early 20s given both the range of advice and how generic some of it is. The book also seems to assume the default for readers are white people, the book includes quotes like an individual who is reconsidering what they think of as safe by living in all-Black neighborhoods and there's a section about diversity near the very end that treats the idea of including people not like yourself as a secondary, fun adventure and not someone's everyday life.

It's high level and not necessarily super helpful.

[Christi · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a homeschool mom I wanted to check this book out to see if it would be useful as a "life skills" book for my two teen daughters. While I did get a few ideas, this book wasn't my favorite for that use. But I can see this book being useful for recent college graduates with no family to fall back on and no previous "life skill" training so if that fits you, I would definitely recommend taking a look. Overall it's got a great friendly tone and some wonderful advice, and the inclusion of mental health is a nice change from the normal "worldly" stuff. Overall, I'd recommend this book for those looking for something in the "I'm an adult, now what do I do" category.

Thanks to NetGalley for providing an advanced copy of this book for my honest review.

[Maude · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have a young brother who just turned 20, and this would be the perfect book for someone in his situation : moved to a new city with his family some time ago but hasn't managed to make it feel like home yet, has no idea how to do his taxes, find an apartment, or figure out what he wants to do in his life... he pretty much doesn't know anything about "being an adult", and I'd wager he's not the only one in this situation. For those young (lost) adults, this would be an excellent gift! It's full of practical advice and useful tips, nicely separated into all pertinent topics and illustrated with a lot of examples that help you figure out what exactly is this "adulting" thing.

[sinag · Rating 4 out of 5]

4/5 stars!

I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

This is a very helpful book for a twentysomething like me who's just started to navigate independence in the adult world. I loved how concise the tips and information gave by the author. Though I've already known and have been practicing most of what I've read here, I still think it can be of great help to other people, especially those that are still starting to navigate adulthood.

[Mario Miranda · Rating 2 out of 5]

There´s a couple or more gold nuggets but all the other stuff are no brainers, my favorite tips/ideas from this book are:
- When you come up to a new city/place to live, try to discover it, have new favorites and vinculate with it in any way (history, parks, art, coffee shops, etc).
-The "forgiveness" section is about forgiving one self and others, how to apologize, etc... It's a great reminder!

The section "Twentysomthing talk" it could be helpful at moments, but many times I speedread those chunks unless something resonated with me.

[Em · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this in a Goodreads giveaway.

It's graduation season! This would be a great book to give to students graduating from high school and college. Honestly, don't wait until you graduate from college to read this. Start now. I'm a Gen Xer, but this is a great book for people who are new to being an adult. I remember looking for books such as this when I graduated from college. I still hate the term "Adulting" though, and it's used in this book.

[Paula · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nora's down to earth voice makes her the perfect author to mix reflection and practicality for everyone who is setting out "to adult" in the world.

Also: I'm honored to be quoted in this book. I guess if someone far in the future tries to prove whether or not I was a real person, there's now some sort of evidence, right? :D

But for real: this book is BURSTING with great advice on a wide range of topics. I'll certainly be gifting it to folks I know and love!

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the most applicable books I’ve ever read. Bradbury-Haehl expertly summarizes everything someone should know as a twentysomething while also including the frequent reminder that everyone is figuring things out and to give yourself grace. I only wish I could have had this book when I graduated college, but found it affirming for the areas I have grown in throughout my twenties.