What do you think?
Rate this book
How We Learned to Lie
A voice-driven and explosive novel about friendship, love, and letting go, from the author of Little Wrecks
Violence in the small, suburban town of Highbone, Long Island, is escalating, and best friends Joan and Daisy are finding themselves in the center of it.
Joan has always been fascinated by the inner workings of living things: dogfish, eels, stingrays. But the more she sees of life outside her microscope, the more she realizes that people aren’t as easy to read as cells on a slide, and no one, not even Daisy, tells the truth.
Daisy’s always wished he had a family more like Joan’s, and that desire has only grown since his dad went to jail. But not even Joan can help Daisy keep his deadbeat older brother from putting everyone close to them in more danger.
When tragedy strikes too close to home, Joan and Daisy need each other more than ever. But no matter how hard they try, their secrets and lies have driven them apart. It’s only a matter of time before their friendship, just like their town, goes up in flames.
Sharp-edged and voice-driven, Meredith Miller’s How We Learned to Lie is a keenly observed story about friendship, violence, and life in a town on the brink.
Violence in the small, suburban town of Highbone, Long Island, is escalating, and best friends Joan and Daisy are finding themselves in the center of it.
Joan has always been fascinated by the inner workings of living things: dogfish, eels, stingrays. But the more she sees of life outside her microscope, the more she realizes that people aren’t as easy to read as cells on a slide, and no one, not even Daisy, tells the truth.
Daisy’s always wished he had a family more like Joan’s, and that desire has only grown since his dad went to jail. But not even Joan can help Daisy keep his deadbeat older brother from putting everyone close to them in more danger.
When tragedy strikes too close to home, Joan and Daisy need each other more than ever. But no matter how hard they try, their secrets and lies have driven them apart. It’s only a matter of time before their friendship, just like their town, goes up in flames.
Sharp-edged and voice-driven, Meredith Miller’s How We Learned to Lie is a keenly observed story about friendship, violence, and life in a town on the brink.
376 pages, Hardcover
First published July 31, 2018
14 people are currently reading
1872 people want to read
About the author
Meredith Miller
8 books79 followersI grew up in the suburbs of Long Island, in New York. I've lived all over America but these days I live and teach in Wales. I'm a published academic now writing fiction (and still a lot of critical stuff). I like to write novels featuring hard-boiled women. I also love language, sometimes to distraction.
I made this profile as an author, but I really enjoy being a reader here. I am happy to answer questions about my books, but also just to chat about whatever people are reading. I love nineteenth-century novels, geeky non-fiction and contemporary genre stuff, when it's well written.
I made this profile as an author, but I really enjoy being a reader here. I am happy to answer questions about my books, but also just to chat about whatever people are reading. I love nineteenth-century novels, geeky non-fiction and contemporary genre stuff, when it's well written.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
August 7, 2018
How We Learned to Lie by Meredith Miller reeled me in with its vivid description. I was fascinated by the concept of two friends growing apart due to the insurmountable weight of their own lies and the roles they play in the violence seeping into their town.
In this slow burning, coming-of-age tale, the characters steal the show. Joan and Daisy have been through thick and thin together, an unlikely duo that has just clicked for as long as they can remember. Joan is strong-willed and stubborn with an insatiable appetite for facts. She'll dissect anything to get to the truth, both metaphorically and physically when it comes to her interest in marine life. Daisy, on the other hand, is more reserved but loyal to a fault. He's much less willing to question the status quo if doing so would threaten his friends or family, but for his friends or family, he would go to the ends of the earth. When things begin to fall apart and Joan turns her attention inward, putting everything under a microscope in her search for the truth, Daisy looks outward, finding solace in the telephone lines he can engineer and manipulate to broaden his horizons beyond his hometown.
How We Learned to Lie is such an honest and real look at a friendship crumbling apart even when both participants are trying so hard to cling to the remnants. As violence and drugs begin to plague their small town, Daisy and Joan's relationship becomes fraught with half-truths and outright lies that can't help but spiral. It's an incredibly relatable and well-thought character study of how, once you start lying, it can become almost impossible to stop.
Be warned, this is not a fast-paced novel. It's not the plot-driven mystery I thought it was going to be when I picked it up. Instead, it's a vivid and unapologetically self-aware coming-of-age tale that really explores every facet of its lead characters. I do wish the mystery element had been a bit stronger, though. There's some wonderful meta commentary throughout the book, where both Joan and Daisy actively call out moments and wonder why they didn't tell the truth, but some of that meta commentary builds up foreshadowing that fell flat for me because the book always opted to shine a light on the characters rather than the plot.
If you're looking for a novel that really gets into the heads of its characters and picks apart how well-intentioned lies can wear down even the strongest of friendships, consider giving How We Learned to Lie a shot!
Blog • Instagram • Twitter • Bloglovin'
In this slow burning, coming-of-age tale, the characters steal the show. Joan and Daisy have been through thick and thin together, an unlikely duo that has just clicked for as long as they can remember. Joan is strong-willed and stubborn with an insatiable appetite for facts. She'll dissect anything to get to the truth, both metaphorically and physically when it comes to her interest in marine life. Daisy, on the other hand, is more reserved but loyal to a fault. He's much less willing to question the status quo if doing so would threaten his friends or family, but for his friends or family, he would go to the ends of the earth. When things begin to fall apart and Joan turns her attention inward, putting everything under a microscope in her search for the truth, Daisy looks outward, finding solace in the telephone lines he can engineer and manipulate to broaden his horizons beyond his hometown.
How We Learned to Lie is such an honest and real look at a friendship crumbling apart even when both participants are trying so hard to cling to the remnants. As violence and drugs begin to plague their small town, Daisy and Joan's relationship becomes fraught with half-truths and outright lies that can't help but spiral. It's an incredibly relatable and well-thought character study of how, once you start lying, it can become almost impossible to stop.
Be warned, this is not a fast-paced novel. It's not the plot-driven mystery I thought it was going to be when I picked it up. Instead, it's a vivid and unapologetically self-aware coming-of-age tale that really explores every facet of its lead characters. I do wish the mystery element had been a bit stronger, though. There's some wonderful meta commentary throughout the book, where both Joan and Daisy actively call out moments and wonder why they didn't tell the truth, but some of that meta commentary builds up foreshadowing that fell flat for me because the book always opted to shine a light on the characters rather than the plot.
If you're looking for a novel that really gets into the heads of its characters and picks apart how well-intentioned lies can wear down even the strongest of friendships, consider giving How We Learned to Lie a shot!
Blog • Instagram • Twitter • Bloglovin'
August 6, 2018
You know how someone will say something is strange but in a good way? That is exactly what I think when I am reading books by Meredith Miller. Strange but definitely in a good way that makes you want to know more. How We Learned to Lie is one of those books with whimsy, tons of allure and a heavy focus on character development.
The story begins with blood and ends with blood. Joan and Daisy are best friends. They have been ever since that fateful day when Daisy found Joan in the river. He thought she was dead but she was just testing the limits of holding one's breath. Joan has a mother who would rather run a theatre than be at home with her kids and Daisy has a mother who is pretty much DOA. His father is in jail while Joan's father is actually in her life. Many things about their lives bond them together... but one thing tears them apart and sends their worlds spinning out of control. Daisy's brother, Robbie, showing up at Joan's doorstep with blood all over his hands. Daisy and Joan need each other now, more than ever, but too many things are wrenching them apart.
The author gave us the point of view of the same events from both Daisy and Joan. I enjoyed seeing the same thing from both perspectives. When we were with Joan, we really didn't get to know Daisy very well because he was quiet, kept to himself and was always tinkering with something. I thought Joan would understand Daisy's tinkerings because of how she felt about science and cutting things open but she always seemed to try and push him further than she should have. I actually liked Daisy's perspective a bit better. It seemed a bit more real and a whole lot sadder. I could definitely see how they drifted apart. Doesn't make it any less heartbreaking, though.
Aside from the character development, the book also had a mystery-ish plot. There were violent acts, murders, and drugs being sold/taken. All of this happening doesn't sound so strange but considering the size of the town and the fact that the book took place in the early 1980's, it was definitely concerning. And the person who MIGHT be doing these things? Even more concerning, especially for Daisy and Joan.
In the end, I loved how this book, though not connected, took place in the same town as the author's previous book, Little Wrecks. It felt nice to read the name Highbone and actually recognize it. I always enjoy when authors give us readers those little tidbits to hold on to.
Overall, I gave the book 4/5 stars.
The story begins with blood and ends with blood. Joan and Daisy are best friends. They have been ever since that fateful day when Daisy found Joan in the river. He thought she was dead but she was just testing the limits of holding one's breath. Joan has a mother who would rather run a theatre than be at home with her kids and Daisy has a mother who is pretty much DOA. His father is in jail while Joan's father is actually in her life. Many things about their lives bond them together... but one thing tears them apart and sends their worlds spinning out of control. Daisy's brother, Robbie, showing up at Joan's doorstep with blood all over his hands. Daisy and Joan need each other now, more than ever, but too many things are wrenching them apart.
The author gave us the point of view of the same events from both Daisy and Joan. I enjoyed seeing the same thing from both perspectives. When we were with Joan, we really didn't get to know Daisy very well because he was quiet, kept to himself and was always tinkering with something. I thought Joan would understand Daisy's tinkerings because of how she felt about science and cutting things open but she always seemed to try and push him further than she should have. I actually liked Daisy's perspective a bit better. It seemed a bit more real and a whole lot sadder. I could definitely see how they drifted apart. Doesn't make it any less heartbreaking, though.
Aside from the character development, the book also had a mystery-ish plot. There were violent acts, murders, and drugs being sold/taken. All of this happening doesn't sound so strange but considering the size of the town and the fact that the book took place in the early 1980's, it was definitely concerning. And the person who MIGHT be doing these things? Even more concerning, especially for Daisy and Joan.
In the end, I loved how this book, though not connected, took place in the same town as the author's previous book, Little Wrecks. It felt nice to read the name Highbone and actually recognize it. I always enjoy when authors give us readers those little tidbits to hold on to.
Overall, I gave the book 4/5 stars.
August 5, 2018
I should have remembered how much I disliked Meredith Miller’s LITTLE WRECKS before preordering HOW WE LEARN TO LIE.
DNF mostly because:
-HOW WE LEARNED TO LIE takes place in 1979/80 (you’d never know from the blurb).
-Daisy is a boy, a nickname for Anthony (WTF).
-Timeline switches without telling the reader.
-Boring.
-Lackluster writing.
I’m not engages enough to write a full review.
DNF mostly because:
-HOW WE LEARNED TO LIE takes place in 1979/80 (you’d never know from the blurb).
-Daisy is a boy, a nickname for Anthony (WTF).
-Timeline switches without telling the reader.
-Boring.
-Lackluster writing.
I’m not engages enough to write a full review.
August 9, 2018
This book was provided to me from Edelweiss and The Fantastic Flying Book Club in exchange for an honest review. I swear on my bookshelf that this has not affected my opinion of the book.
This review and other bookish shenanigans can be found on my original blog, Crazy for YA.
Anyone who has friends (which I hope includes everyone reading this) knows that friendship is not always pretty. Friends bicker over food, directions, clothes. Contrary to popular belief best friends are not the same person--friendship does not erase a person's unique personality. However, when friendship is even addressed (which is not as often as I would like) the focus is on the happy, sunshine version of friendship that involves warm, fuzzy feelings without the hardships of friendship. Friends are supporting characters and stay true to their assigned role--supporting the character in everything that they do without much conflict.
How We Learned to Lie thankfully does not cater to the picture-perfect vision of friendship or life. Highbone is not a nice town and Daisy and Joan's friendship is not perfect. And they are both interesting in their imperfections. You may not like Highbone, but you will love to hate it. You will learn who works it, how it works, and maybe even why it works that way it does.
The story is told through the alternating perspectives of both Daisy and Joan, with each voice distinctive and evocative. I didn't even need the chapter headings to tell which character was speaking. At some points, I couldn't even believe that the POVs were written by the same author. Daisy and Joan aren't opposites exactly, but they are complements to each other, both in style and personality. Each one was fully fleshed out as a character with their own worldviews, desires, and complications. I have to admit that I liked Daisy's chapters more (probably just because I can relate to him more) but Joan's chapters were also enlightening. Miller's descriptive and thoughtful style pervades both voices and adds consistency in a world driven by disaster.
How We Learned to Lie is very much a character-driven story. Daisy's and Joan's experiences and contrasting perceptions of those experiences create the entire story. Even though I enjoyed both of their voices, I wished that there was more action. The beginning of the novel started off slowly, with more foundation for suspense than action. The novel is told as if Daisy and Joan are actually telling the reader a story around a campfire, a scary story with more background and underlying tension than forward motion. There were constant hints about something huge happening, but the pay-off was very small in the first two-thirds of the story.
As a character-driven novel, How We Learned to Lie excels in telling a story focused on friendship, family, and all of the relationships that define our lives, the good, the bad, and the deadly. The nasty and gritty details of life are not sugar-coated, but rather dealt with through the struggles of two brutally honest teenagers. Despite the title, this story does not lie about the hardships of life or the difficulties of being a teenager in a world that wants to eat you alive.
This review and other bookish shenanigans can be found on my original blog, Crazy for YA.
Anyone who has friends (which I hope includes everyone reading this) knows that friendship is not always pretty. Friends bicker over food, directions, clothes. Contrary to popular belief best friends are not the same person--friendship does not erase a person's unique personality. However, when friendship is even addressed (which is not as often as I would like) the focus is on the happy, sunshine version of friendship that involves warm, fuzzy feelings without the hardships of friendship. Friends are supporting characters and stay true to their assigned role--supporting the character in everything that they do without much conflict.
How We Learned to Lie thankfully does not cater to the picture-perfect vision of friendship or life. Highbone is not a nice town and Daisy and Joan's friendship is not perfect. And they are both interesting in their imperfections. You may not like Highbone, but you will love to hate it. You will learn who works it, how it works, and maybe even why it works that way it does.
The story is told through the alternating perspectives of both Daisy and Joan, with each voice distinctive and evocative. I didn't even need the chapter headings to tell which character was speaking. At some points, I couldn't even believe that the POVs were written by the same author. Daisy and Joan aren't opposites exactly, but they are complements to each other, both in style and personality. Each one was fully fleshed out as a character with their own worldviews, desires, and complications. I have to admit that I liked Daisy's chapters more (probably just because I can relate to him more) but Joan's chapters were also enlightening. Miller's descriptive and thoughtful style pervades both voices and adds consistency in a world driven by disaster.
How We Learned to Lie is very much a character-driven story. Daisy's and Joan's experiences and contrasting perceptions of those experiences create the entire story. Even though I enjoyed both of their voices, I wished that there was more action. The beginning of the novel started off slowly, with more foundation for suspense than action. The novel is told as if Daisy and Joan are actually telling the reader a story around a campfire, a scary story with more background and underlying tension than forward motion. There were constant hints about something huge happening, but the pay-off was very small in the first two-thirds of the story.
As a character-driven novel, How We Learned to Lie excels in telling a story focused on friendship, family, and all of the relationships that define our lives, the good, the bad, and the deadly. The nasty and gritty details of life are not sugar-coated, but rather dealt with through the struggles of two brutally honest teenagers. Despite the title, this story does not lie about the hardships of life or the difficulties of being a teenager in a world that wants to eat you alive.
July 17, 2020
Reading a book by someone you like personally is always worrying, reading a book by some one you have huge amounts of academic respect for, even more so- what if I don’t like it? What if it isn’t good? What if I don’t understand it?
Thankfully this book pushed all of those worries away very quickly! This book gave just enough to keep the reader interested and engaged while we bonded with the characters, through well executed direct addresses to the reader.
Is it a book I enjoyed? No. But for positive reasons, it’s not a narrative you’re supposed to enjoy, for me it was similar to reading Still Alice in that respect, I’d recommend it, and I would say it was a damn good book but it was heartbreaking and intense, as you would expect a book driven by mistakes, lies, and the failings of adults to be, but certainly not ‘enjoyable’
‘Silence isn’t just the lack of sound. It’s distance. It’s weight’ a quote from the book reinforced throughout, what is not said in this book, what is not discussed, or at times even thought about is just as important as the words written. The silent parts of this book are the heaviest and often the most heartbreaking. I often race through books wanted to absorb them at once but this book didn’t let me, it forced its own pace, the silent and quiet sections seemed to move in slow motion, as events began to snowball. And once that momentum has built up there was no stopping it, the pacing with it, waiting for the inevitable of the unstoppable force meeting an immovable object.
I’d heavily recommend this book to others, it doesn’t wave bells and whistles, or put in unnecessary tropes to temporarily thrill the reader, but it doesn’t need to, it’s an honest, believable, atmospheric, narrative done extremely well, often feeling more like a memoir than fiction.
Thankfully this book pushed all of those worries away very quickly! This book gave just enough to keep the reader interested and engaged while we bonded with the characters, through well executed direct addresses to the reader.
Is it a book I enjoyed? No. But for positive reasons, it’s not a narrative you’re supposed to enjoy, for me it was similar to reading Still Alice in that respect, I’d recommend it, and I would say it was a damn good book but it was heartbreaking and intense, as you would expect a book driven by mistakes, lies, and the failings of adults to be, but certainly not ‘enjoyable’
‘Silence isn’t just the lack of sound. It’s distance. It’s weight’ a quote from the book reinforced throughout, what is not said in this book, what is not discussed, or at times even thought about is just as important as the words written. The silent parts of this book are the heaviest and often the most heartbreaking. I often race through books wanted to absorb them at once but this book didn’t let me, it forced its own pace, the silent and quiet sections seemed to move in slow motion, as events began to snowball. And once that momentum has built up there was no stopping it, the pacing with it, waiting for the inevitable of the unstoppable force meeting an immovable object.
I’d heavily recommend this book to others, it doesn’t wave bells and whistles, or put in unnecessary tropes to temporarily thrill the reader, but it doesn’t need to, it’s an honest, believable, atmospheric, narrative done extremely well, often feeling more like a memoir than fiction.
November 19, 2018
This story is an engaging account of a friendship that is at once strong and fragile, beautiful and volatile. All the while there is a maelstrom of tragedy around and within Daisy and June. Miller has a magical way of grounding the reader solidly into the place of the story and creates characters that are complex, quirky and very real. The writing itself has an edginess that allows the reader to feel the characters as they grapple with the world both around and within them. I really enjoyed this book.
did-not-finish
June 30, 2018DNF'ed at 13%
I was sent this book for review as a part of the teenreads.com Teen Board and I just couldn't get into it. This book made literally no sense. I was confused from the beginning and nothing about what was going on was explained. It didn't feel worth my time so I decided to give up on it.
I was sent this book for review as a part of the teenreads.com Teen Board and I just couldn't get into it. This book made literally no sense. I was confused from the beginning and nothing about what was going on was explained. It didn't feel worth my time so I decided to give up on it.
September 7, 2018
Not for me. So terribly boring.
April 28, 2018
Summary: Joan Harris and Daisy McNamara have been childhood friends ever since the day that Daisy found Joan floating in the river and thought she was dead (Joan was really just trying to see how long she could hold her breath). They were forever friends, until one night changes all that. Joan runs into Daisy's older brother, Robbie, covered in blood and this single event causes their world to spiral out of control. Their friendship had always been built in trust and love and now Joan and Daisy are lying to each other, without meaning to. This is a story of a friendship that should have lasted.
Opinion: The writing in this book is beautiful and lyrical and heavily focused on character development. Miller has a way with words that makes me salivate and dream about my own writing style achieving the same level as her. The style reminds me quite a bit of Celeste Ng and it's mostly this writing style that helped the book earn all it's stars.
This one is one that focuses more on character development than anything else. We get to see how sixteen years old best friends, Daisy and Joan, are inseparable until one violence-filled summer changes that all. The two start lying to each other, without realizing that they are and they just can't seem to stop.
We see phone-phreaking (look it up--it's a real thing) obsessed Daisy struggle to keep his failing family apart. With an older brother who seems to be directly involved with the violence in the town, a father who's in jail for a white-collar crime, and a mother who barely gets out of bed, Daisy only has Joan as his constant... until he doesn't.
Then there's observant, science-obssessed Joan who lives with her Grampa, father, two older brothers, and a mother who "lives at home" but spends all her time living in the city to follow her dream of being in theater. Her rock and constant was Daisy... until he wasn't.
Everything changes on the night that Joan runs into Daisy's older brother, Robbie, and Robbie's hands are covered in blood. Joan suspects the worst when another guy, Ray, disappears from school. This is the first lie Joan tells Daisy, just to protect him, but it proves to spiral their friendship.
Miller structures the book with each chapter being from the point of view of Joan or Daisy, which works because we get to see two different sides of the same event.
What doesn't work about this is the timeline of events in the story. At the same time that the story moves forward, it also takes steps back. For example, Daisy explained the night of the hurricane in detail and Joan's next chapter starts discussing from the day before the hurricane. So it made things kind of confusing until I got used to the style at about 25% of my Kindle ARC.
Also, the subplot--as it was--with the drugs, murders, and violence take on a super twisted turn and it just seemed ridiculously far-fetched. I didn't like that this was a subplot but it's because I'm a fiend for murder mysteries.
The story, overall, does focus on those times in our lives when we grow apart from our closest friends. It's happened to us all and this story really captures this process. That's why I gave it as many stars as I did even though some may argue that "nothing happened."
Opinion: The writing in this book is beautiful and lyrical and heavily focused on character development. Miller has a way with words that makes me salivate and dream about my own writing style achieving the same level as her. The style reminds me quite a bit of Celeste Ng and it's mostly this writing style that helped the book earn all it's stars.
This one is one that focuses more on character development than anything else. We get to see how sixteen years old best friends, Daisy and Joan, are inseparable until one violence-filled summer changes that all. The two start lying to each other, without realizing that they are and they just can't seem to stop.
We see phone-phreaking (look it up--it's a real thing) obsessed Daisy struggle to keep his failing family apart. With an older brother who seems to be directly involved with the violence in the town, a father who's in jail for a white-collar crime, and a mother who barely gets out of bed, Daisy only has Joan as his constant... until he doesn't.
Then there's observant, science-obssessed Joan who lives with her Grampa, father, two older brothers, and a mother who "lives at home" but spends all her time living in the city to follow her dream of being in theater. Her rock and constant was Daisy... until he wasn't.
Everything changes on the night that Joan runs into Daisy's older brother, Robbie, and Robbie's hands are covered in blood. Joan suspects the worst when another guy, Ray, disappears from school. This is the first lie Joan tells Daisy, just to protect him, but it proves to spiral their friendship.
Miller structures the book with each chapter being from the point of view of Joan or Daisy, which works because we get to see two different sides of the same event.
What doesn't work about this is the timeline of events in the story. At the same time that the story moves forward, it also takes steps back. For example, Daisy explained the night of the hurricane in detail and Joan's next chapter starts discussing from the day before the hurricane. So it made things kind of confusing until I got used to the style at about 25% of my Kindle ARC.
Also, the subplot--as it was--with the drugs, murders, and violence take on a super twisted turn and it just seemed ridiculously far-fetched. I didn't like that this was a subplot but it's because I'm a fiend for murder mysteries.
The story, overall, does focus on those times in our lives when we grow apart from our closest friends. It's happened to us all and this story really captures this process. That's why I gave it as many stars as I did even though some may argue that "nothing happened."
December 17, 2018
How We Learned to Lie by Meredith Miller is a teen realistic fiction novel. Joan Jensen is a 15 year old African American, girl living in Highbone, Long Island, and her best friend, Daisy is a caucasian teen who doesn’t understand her. Joan is straightforward and speaks her mind, which occasionally causes her trouble. She has always been very factually orientated and takes interest in her new biology teacher. Daisy couldn’t be more different as he loves to think and understand the meaning of life. He is fascinated by the phone system where he can communicate with others and share his feelings. Both Joan and Daisy’s families are dysfunctional, leaving them to discover themselves and the mysterious world around them. Joan and Daisy need each other when things go awry, but the lies they tell and information they withhold only makes it more difficult to help one another. I liked this book because it makes you think while you read, creating an engaging atmosphere.
The book’s thought provoking lines are spaced throughout the novel. While reading the book, the reader must stop and think about what the characters are saying. Not only are some of the quotes philosophical, but the analogies the author makes are interesting. For example, Daisy realizes the lies and oblivion of Joan and himself isolates them as he reflects, “All the heavy atoms and alkaloid molecules that shape us and then break us apart”(126, Miller). The book switches between the different viewpoints of the two main characters, Joan and Daisy, allowing the reader to have a better understanding of the characters’ thoughts and feelings which creates interesting perspectives. I would give the book a four out of five stars. The author’s thought provoking quotes, analogies, and variation in view points makes the book captivating.
The book’s thought provoking lines are spaced throughout the novel. While reading the book, the reader must stop and think about what the characters are saying. Not only are some of the quotes philosophical, but the analogies the author makes are interesting. For example, Daisy realizes the lies and oblivion of Joan and himself isolates them as he reflects, “All the heavy atoms and alkaloid molecules that shape us and then break us apart”(126, Miller). The book switches between the different viewpoints of the two main characters, Joan and Daisy, allowing the reader to have a better understanding of the characters’ thoughts and feelings which creates interesting perspectives. I would give the book a four out of five stars. The author’s thought provoking quotes, analogies, and variation in view points makes the book captivating.
August 5, 2018
A dark and explorative read, How We Learned to Lie is about a community and how its violence weaves into the lives of children. The small town atmosphere of the novel is filled with tension; this book focuses deeply on its characters whose emotions are vividly described on the page. Miller’s writing style twists itself to build on the lies told by the characters. The voices are gritty, mean, and yet so full of grief.
Although the main characters of the book, Daisy and Joan are simply bystanders in the harmful lifestyle of their suburban town, Highbone. Joan immerses herself in facts and science to get away from the absence of her mother while Daisy invests time talking to a woman he has never seen. This is the story of children who grow up and apart; it is an examination of how children cling to each other in the turmoil of change, of the secrets they keep trying to cling to the only constant in their life: their friendship. I especially loved how Miller portrayed the confusion of these children and how they would rather confide in strangers than each other. It really captures the difficulty of growing up and trying to understand one’s identity apart from their family and friends.
There are subplots of murder and drugs, abuse and corruption, told from the perspective of Daisy and Joan. We know that a community shapes its children and in How We Learned to Lie, Miller reveals the struggle of those who try to escape it.
How We Learned to Lie is a very slow moving read; for some it may feel like nothing is happening but those who like books that are more like an examination of people will enjoy this read.
Camillea Reads
Although the main characters of the book, Daisy and Joan are simply bystanders in the harmful lifestyle of their suburban town, Highbone. Joan immerses herself in facts and science to get away from the absence of her mother while Daisy invests time talking to a woman he has never seen. This is the story of children who grow up and apart; it is an examination of how children cling to each other in the turmoil of change, of the secrets they keep trying to cling to the only constant in their life: their friendship. I especially loved how Miller portrayed the confusion of these children and how they would rather confide in strangers than each other. It really captures the difficulty of growing up and trying to understand one’s identity apart from their family and friends.
There are subplots of murder and drugs, abuse and corruption, told from the perspective of Daisy and Joan. We know that a community shapes its children and in How We Learned to Lie, Miller reveals the struggle of those who try to escape it.
How We Learned to Lie is a very slow moving read; for some it may feel like nothing is happening but those who like books that are more like an examination of people will enjoy this read.
Camillea Reads
April 11, 2021
From the beginning of this novel you were told things would get bad, which usually makes a book very hit-or-miss. There's this build-up that makes you expect a spectacular ending, so it was a bit of a let down when everything was revealed with such nonchalance. This book had an atmosphere that made it feel like it should've had a supernatural or fantasy twist to it, but it does not. There were moments that I felt nostalgic for childhood, but I never once really felt for any of the characters, maybe Daisy. I think this author has potential and I would pick something up from her again, but there needs to be more of a focus on the depth of the characters and their relationships. Daisy and Joan never felt like friends to me, we were just told they were, but it was never really shown. Also, there wasn't really conversations. The characters talked at one another, but neither listened and then there were some metaphors thrown in and that was that. I was confused by motives a lot because I didn't understand the characters in the first place.
August 11, 2018
How We Learned to Lie by Meredith Miller is a gritty young adult contemporary—which I’m totally here for. I appreciated the characters in the book—especially because they were all flawed—and I enjoyed its darker elements. (I received this book from Edelweiss and The Fantastic Flying Book Club in exchange for an honest review.)
Joan and Daisy’s friendship was interesting in that they were so completely different. Though it wasn’t the focus of the book, I thought their conversations about these differences were important, and not just because Joan is into marine biology and Daisy is into phone-phreaking. Daisy is white and identifies as a male, and Joan is black and identifies as a female. Daisy is continuously ignorant about how Joan’s experiences are different than his own; he doesn’t think about his privilege, which Joan calls him out on occasionally, and the concerns and fears and struggles that Joan faces because of her race and gender.
Even though both Joan and Daisy both had positive qualities, Joan aggravated me to my core throughout the novel. At times I did not like her. She was judgmental and critical, even though she herself made decisions that were selfish and stupid. Ugh. But she was a well-rounded, passionate character, though.
I also did find the timeline of the book confusing, which made it hard to get into at first. For the first chunk of the book, there are flashbacks and the events are not in order, and I think the book would have been stronger if it followed a forward-moving timeline.
Last, I thought the darker elements in the book could have been further developed to make the terrible things that go down more believable.
All that said, though, I thought it was solid and appreciated its gritty (super, super gritty) elements.
Check out my full book review and the original book tag I made for this book over on my blog! https://morganvega.com/2018/08/04/how...
Joan and Daisy’s friendship was interesting in that they were so completely different. Though it wasn’t the focus of the book, I thought their conversations about these differences were important, and not just because Joan is into marine biology and Daisy is into phone-phreaking. Daisy is white and identifies as a male, and Joan is black and identifies as a female. Daisy is continuously ignorant about how Joan’s experiences are different than his own; he doesn’t think about his privilege, which Joan calls him out on occasionally, and the concerns and fears and struggles that Joan faces because of her race and gender.
Even though both Joan and Daisy both had positive qualities, Joan aggravated me to my core throughout the novel. At times I did not like her. She was judgmental and critical, even though she herself made decisions that were selfish and stupid. Ugh. But she was a well-rounded, passionate character, though.
I also did find the timeline of the book confusing, which made it hard to get into at first. For the first chunk of the book, there are flashbacks and the events are not in order, and I think the book would have been stronger if it followed a forward-moving timeline.
Last, I thought the darker elements in the book could have been further developed to make the terrible things that go down more believable.
All that said, though, I thought it was solid and appreciated its gritty (super, super gritty) elements.
Check out my full book review and the original book tag I made for this book over on my blog! https://morganvega.com/2018/08/04/how...
December 13, 2023
A compelling story set in 1979-80 about the coming of age of a black girl and a different-drummer white boy who struggle to maintain their childhood friendship amid complications spawned by their individual family dysfunctions. Neither has a regular mother figure and both have troubled older siblings. Joan has a love and curiosity for all things biological as well as an inappropriate relationship with her HS Biology teacher. Anthony (AKA "Daisy") is all about electronics. Drug abuse and racism are heavily featured.
June 30, 2018
I received this book in exchange of an honest review. I was unable to finish this one because it wasn't interesting enough to me, but what I read was decent. This is the story of two friends and how they start lying to each other. Daisy' s brother is up to no good and so far the main character has been obsessed with finding out what he is up to. If you like a slower book or books about where friendship goes wrong this one might be for you!
September 1, 2018
“And we dove.” Loved this story.
Joan and Daisy are authentically and skillfully drawn characters. I was invested in them from beginning to the last page. As events unfold, inner dialogues and evocative place descriptions create feelings of hopelessness and dread.
As Joan and Daisy struggle to move through very difficult times Miller adeptly moves us through the uncertainty, anxiety, and grief they experience. At once dark and delightful this book is a thoughtful and satisfying read.
Joan and Daisy are authentically and skillfully drawn characters. I was invested in them from beginning to the last page. As events unfold, inner dialogues and evocative place descriptions create feelings of hopelessness and dread.
As Joan and Daisy struggle to move through very difficult times Miller adeptly moves us through the uncertainty, anxiety, and grief they experience. At once dark and delightful this book is a thoughtful and satisfying read.
June 19, 2019
Extremely slow. The plot was laid out over with way too many pages. The author would go off describing things that were in no way important to the character's experience or the plot. The skipping around really confused me.
Just one thing: The beginning grabs you with promises of more and more but doesn't full-fill these promises. Anti-climatic in the least.
Just one thing: The beginning grabs you with promises of more and more but doesn't full-fill these promises. Anti-climatic in the least.
May 24, 2020
This book was so so so slow. By the time it picked up, I was too over it to really get into it. The ending was so much better than the beginning. I didn't really like the characters but I wanted to like them. It grappled with really tough concepts, but didn't explore them the way they deserved. It would have been a DNF if I hadn't powered through to the end.
June 17, 2024
I honestly can't wait to read Little Wrecks (which is set in the same town as this book) again, because I genuinely think that on a reread it will be bumped up to five stars. This book is just excellent. Such wonderful descriptions, characters who feel so real, a tiny little town where chaos is always under the surface. Truly, truly an amazing book.
March 4, 2019
DNF after chapter 1! I’m guessing after that first chapter that Joan - and maybe the entire story - is very disjointed and all over the place. The writing had too much of a stream of consciousness feel to it, and I don’t enjoy reading that style.
June 8, 2021
Less of a mystery and more of a character study about two kids growing up in a town that's been taken over by drugs in the late 70's. World building wasn't as strong as it was in her other novel, and i wish it was.
September 11, 2021
This was an up and down read, with a character that I wasn’t entirely sold on, until I stayed up through the night... Finishing it at 6:30AM 😂
A dark, noir-like coming-of-age set in gothic suburbia.
A dark, noir-like coming-of-age set in gothic suburbia.
January 1, 2019
I’ve never read a book that dragged on so much. I kept waiting for action and never found it. It was a waste of time. 👎🏼
February 15, 2019
I finished it but honestly it was a struggle...
March 28, 2019
I think this is a good book for someone, but that someone isn't me.
December 22, 2020
This book is not very well written and very uninteresting. Would not recommend.
February 24, 2021
Pretty good - definitely unique with its short chapters, swapping narrators each time. Takes place on Long Island and mentioned Bay Ridge twice!
August 8, 2018
Summary: Joan Harris and Daisy McNamara have been childhood friends ever since the day that Daisy found Joan floating in the river and thought she was dead (Joan was really just trying to see how long she could hold her breath). They were forever friends, until one night changes all that. Joan runs into Daisy's older brother, Robbie, covered in blood and this single event causes their world to spiral out of control. Their friendship had always been built on trust and love and now Joan and Daisy are lying to each other, without meaning to. This is a story of a friendship that should have lasted.
Mrs. Theander’s Opinion: The writing in this book is beautiful and lyrical without being a poetic book. Miller has a way with words that makes me salivate and dream about. The style reminds me quite a bit of Celeste Ng and it's this writing style that helped the book earn all its stars. This one is one that focuses more on character development than anything else. We get to see how sixteen years old best friends, Daisy and Joan, are inseparable until one violence-filled summer changes that all. The two start lying to each other, without realizing that they are and they just can't seem to stop.
We see phone-phreaking (look it up--it's a real thing) obsessed Daisy struggle to keep his failing family apart. With an older brother who seems to be directly involved with the violence in the town, a father who's in jail for a white-collar crime, and a mother who barely gets out of bed, Daisy only has Joan as his constant... until he doesn't.
Then there's observant, science-obsessed Joan who lives with her Grampa, father, two older brothers, and a mother who "lives at home" but spends all her time living in the city to follow her dream of being in theater. Her rock and constant was Daisy... until he wasn't.
Everything changes on the night that Joan runs into Daisy's older brother, Robbie, and Robbie's hands are covered in blood. Joan suspects the worst when another guy, Ray, disappears from school. This is the first lie Joan tells Daisy, just to protect him, but it proves to spiral their friendship.
Miller structures the book with each chapter being from the point of view of Joan or Daisy, which works because we get to see two different sides of the same event.
What doesn't work about this is the timeline of events in the story. At the same time that the story moves forward, it also takes steps back. For example, Daisy explained the night of the hurricane in detail and Joan's next chapter starts discussing from the day before the hurricane. So it made things kind of confusing.
The story, overall, does focus on those times in our lives when we grow apart from our closest friends. It's happened to us all and this story really captures this process. That's why I gave it as many stars as I did even though some may argue that "nothing happened.”
Mrs. Theander’s Opinion: The writing in this book is beautiful and lyrical without being a poetic book. Miller has a way with words that makes me salivate and dream about. The style reminds me quite a bit of Celeste Ng and it's this writing style that helped the book earn all its stars. This one is one that focuses more on character development than anything else. We get to see how sixteen years old best friends, Daisy and Joan, are inseparable until one violence-filled summer changes that all. The two start lying to each other, without realizing that they are and they just can't seem to stop.
We see phone-phreaking (look it up--it's a real thing) obsessed Daisy struggle to keep his failing family apart. With an older brother who seems to be directly involved with the violence in the town, a father who's in jail for a white-collar crime, and a mother who barely gets out of bed, Daisy only has Joan as his constant... until he doesn't.
Then there's observant, science-obsessed Joan who lives with her Grampa, father, two older brothers, and a mother who "lives at home" but spends all her time living in the city to follow her dream of being in theater. Her rock and constant was Daisy... until he wasn't.
Everything changes on the night that Joan runs into Daisy's older brother, Robbie, and Robbie's hands are covered in blood. Joan suspects the worst when another guy, Ray, disappears from school. This is the first lie Joan tells Daisy, just to protect him, but it proves to spiral their friendship.
Miller structures the book with each chapter being from the point of view of Joan or Daisy, which works because we get to see two different sides of the same event.
What doesn't work about this is the timeline of events in the story. At the same time that the story moves forward, it also takes steps back. For example, Daisy explained the night of the hurricane in detail and Joan's next chapter starts discussing from the day before the hurricane. So it made things kind of confusing.
The story, overall, does focus on those times in our lives when we grow apart from our closest friends. It's happened to us all and this story really captures this process. That's why I gave it as many stars as I did even though some may argue that "nothing happened.”
May 4, 2022
This book almost feels less like a book and more like a logic puzzle (I mean that in the best way)! I’m a very logic-based person, and I found taking the time to detangle all the timelines and watch everyone start to fully make sense was the perfect activity for my brain. I also can definitely see we if this is not what you look for in a book you would not enjoy this, but I absolutely loved the challenge!
June 1, 2020
I received this book for a Goodreads giveaway. Really struggled to get into it as the plot was VERY slow. Was not a huge fan.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews