Why First Borns Rule the World and Last Borns Want to Change It

by Michael Grose

There are many factors affecting a child’s personality and their transition into adulthood, including biological and social influences. The least understood but most emphatic influence on personality is birth order. The implications of the impact of birth order for parents, teachers, and adults involved with children are many. This insightful guide provides answers to a broad range of questions about the personality and behavior of colleagues, life partner, friends, and siblings. Addressing multiple births, special needs children, genetic engineering, blended families, gender balance, single children, and birth-order balance in the workplace, this resource challenges parents to raise each child differently according to his or her birth order.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Psychology, Sociology, Science, Childrens, Adolescence

208 pages, Paperback

Published June 1, 2003

About the author

Michael Grose is the author of nine parenting books and a past parenting columnist with both Fairfax and News Ltd. Michael, through his company Parentingideas, supplies over 30 parenting articles every year to nearly 1500 Australian schools. An experienced media performer, he’s been a regular commentator in the Australian media for over a decade, with regular appearances on the Today Show, The Circle, The Project and many other television and radio programs.

Reviews

[Cav · Rating 3 out of 5]

Why First Borns Rule the World and Last Borns Want to Change It was a somewhat interesting read.

Author Michael Grose is one of Australia's leading parenting and educational writers and speakers. He is the author of nine books for parents, including this one.

Michael Grose:


The book gets off on a good foot, with a decent preface. The author notes that 3 child homes are becoming rarer as a general trend recently. Adding to this, he notes that much of the "first, second and last" born paradigms covered here may need to be a bit flexible.
Grose has a decent writing style; for the most part. However, I did find large chunks of this book a bit superfluous, as well as long-winded at times, particularly near the end. Sadly, this detracted from my enjoyment of what is otherwise an interesting subject matter.

Grose introduces the reader to the concept of Austrian medical doctor Alfred Adler's birth order theory early on. He also mentions the limitations of this theory; culture, gender, mixed families, etc...

The book broadly talks about how birth order affects many areas of your life; from social interactions, to job placement, to personality proclivities, and more.
Grose says that firstborns are status achievers and leaders. However, they score the highest in trait neuroticism as well.
Middleborns are more social; tend to have more friends. This is a byproduct of negotiating with siblings on either end of their birth order.
Last borns tend to be more adventurous and flexible; as they are always trying to find their suitable niche.
The conservative author Thomas Sowell mentions much of this research in his books.

Grose tells the reader of the "Prince Harry" effect seen in many younger siblings. Given Harry's many public faux pas and general entitlement issues; this seems about right, LOL.
In the latter part of the book, he breaks down different family dynamics; for a bit more time than it was worth...

*********************

Why First Borns Rule the World was a decent book, but I found my attention wandering more than a few times here...
A more rigorous editing could have made this one more engaging, IMHO.
2.5 stars.

[Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent excellent excellent. Husband will be glad I have finished it so that I stop reading him excerpts about why he's the way he is and the kids are like they are!

[Karla · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars

[Tara van Beurden · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have always been rather fascinated by the impact birth order has on a person, and I was hoping to learn more than I already knew reading this book. Whilst I enjoyed this read, it probably didn't illuminate a heap more. What it did do was allow me time to reflect on how myself, my siblings, colleagues, friends, and story characters might fit (or not) their birth order position. It also explained about functional positions (i.e. the position you take up, rather than the position you are strictly born into) which was fascinating. I don't agree with everything Grose outlines, but there's a lot that makes sense. My main gripe was with the constant implication that first-borns aren't creative, and later-borns are - as a first-born who's by far and away the most creative of my siblings, I personally think the distinction is more around freedom. First-borns often don't get the freedom to express their creativity, at least not until they are established adults (this is certainly my experience). But that's a minor gripe, and probably my first-born perfectionism and competitiveness coming out! I certainly think this book will make me think differently about how I interact with my siblings, how I might parent (one day!), how I might lead, and how I write some of my story characters!

[Roy Van Den Brande · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't know who this book is for. It reads like a book on starsigns. The middle child of three will have an itchy right toe, but only if the oldest child is at least 4 years older, a different gender and has ADHD, and the youngest is a professional athlete. I'm exagerating ofcourse but not by much. It's psuedo-science at best, and on top of that very ethnocentristic.

But... For therapists that have a basic understanding of systems therapy, it can give a few ideas of the impact of family dynamics. Just ignore the generalisations and read the schema's and patterns that can emerge from certain family dynamics.

[Jade O'Donohue · Rating 3 out of 5]

“Perfectionists are hard to live with. They make demanding partners and anxious children. They can be critical of those around them just as they are highly critical of themselves. Their attention to detail can be infuriating. Their inflexibility can be enraging particularly if you are an easygoing second or middle child. Perfectionists usually want to be better than anyone else.
You can pick a perfectionist at 1000 metres.”

[Claudette · Rating 5 out of 5]

(Audiobook) A great insight in how birth order of children shape their character, their personality and behaviours. It’s a great insight into how personalities are acquired. Now it’s a matter of reflecting on this understanding and adopting it into a classroom setting (for teachers).

[S · Rating 3 out of 5]

agreed about 50% of the time

[Iqra Tasmiae]

https://www.parentingideas.com.au/blo...

[Maz · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting breakdown of birth order. It would be great to have a more detailed breakdown that included neurodivergence etc in the analysis.

[Alex · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting

[Александрович]

Everything, it makes so much sense!

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book and found it interesting as an only child!

[Kay · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very interesting read. Only skimmed it, but basically explained how birth order tends to affect the development of people's personalities and the extenuating factors that can change that kind of development.

[Alyssa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book overall, though it got a little too clinical and dry for me in places. I liked how the author talked about how our birth order and the birth order of our parents influenced how we parent, especially.

[Rachael]

Very interesting read, particularly if an actor or into psychology. Very easy to read and understand.

[Zabetta Camilleri]

Nothing new really

[J Guerrero · Rating 5 out of 5]

havent finished it yet but it is like they would be talking about my life.