Amelia Applebaum isn’t in love with Walter Holland. He just happens to be her favorite moderately famous, chaotically bisexual YouTuber. Who she just happened to invite to prom. (But it’s fine. No, for real. If you delete the post, it didn’t happen.)
Okay, maybe her friends are right: She’s slightly parasocially infatuated. But Amelia just knows sparks would fly—if only she could connect with Walter for real.
If only he would host a meet and greet.
If only it were just a short road trip away.
And if only Amelia could talk her best friends into making it the perfect last hurrah before graduation—even her newly single, always-cynical, guitar-toting best friend Natalie.
One thing’s for sure: All roads lead to butterflies.
But what if Amelia’s butterflies aren’t for Walter at all?
Becky Albertalli is the author of the acclaimed novels Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda (film: Love, Simon), The Upside of Unrequited, and Leah on the Offbeat. She is also the co-author of What If It's Us with Adam Silvera. A former clinical psychologist who specialized in working with children and teens, Becky lives with her family in Atlanta. You can visit her online at www.beckyalbertalli.com. add blog
Love, Simon might be Becky Albertalli’s most popular book, but in my opinion, Imogen, Obviously is her best so far. And now, I got to read Amelia, If Only. From the moment I started reading, my hands were shaking a bit, and my heart thudded in my throat. Would this one even be better than Imogen?
Amelia, If Only is by far Becky’s loudest novel. Amelia is just more than a little crazy (not meant negatively). Her mind! Amelia herself calls it the Amelia brain ecosystem. It just keeps going and going and going, and sometimes, I found it hard to follow her leaps of thought. But she’s also so hilarious. I laughed out loud about all these nicknames, and Markillean Freddie Markury was the funniest (even though my autocorrect disagrees since it tried to correct the name at least five times).
Have you ever been a fan of someone? And wanted to know everything about them? Even to the point where you count that artist, or influencer, or athlete, or whoever it may be among your personal friends while you've never met that someone in person? Or even secretly dreamt about a romantic relationship with that person? Yep. That’s what this story is about, and Becky did a fantastic job portraying what it means to be a fan or a stan of someone and how it influences lives. In between Amelia’s story, the reader gets an insight into an insane fandom through YouTube transcriptions, Twitter-, Reddit-, and Instagram threads. And I loved reading those snippets. It was so real! Just like Amelia, I wanted to meet Walter so badly. And I have to admit, it was a slow, slow, slow burn until that first meeting. All those transcripts and threads hyped me up so much and kept me flying through the pages.
And did you know that Imogen and Tessa appear in this story? Oh, and there's an Adib Khoram reference! I smiled so hard when I read those passages!
So, is this story even better than Imogen, Obviously? Well, I loved the friend group, laughed out loud about Amelia’s unhinged thoughts, and couldn’t tear my eyes from all those transcriptions and threads. I loved, loved the overall story, and yes, I think I liked this story even more than Imogen. Yes, dear readers, it’s true! This story is better than Imogen’s. So, preorder it now!
Oh, and Becky? Please let those two cinnamon buns be the couple in your next story!
Thank you, HarperCollins Children Books and NetGalley, for this crazy, witty, and sweet story!
Becky Albertelli’s gift is being capable of describing most accurately the experience of having a crush and putting into words those fleeting feelings that, barely a month after, you can't even justify to yourself.
Even if “queerness” is still the main subject and I love how she focused the entire story on the difficulties of understanding what “being bisexual” looks like and feels, I also appreciated the importance of explaining that parasocial crushes can be used as a healthy tool to escape reality — since you already know nothing will ever happen, what’s so bad in dreaming about it? But we also see the ugly part of it, things that people who ever had a “fan-girl phase” know well — those posts and accusations gave me war flashbacks, especially knowing that so many people still think is their right to speculate about other people’s sexuality.
I love BA’s stories and the easy way I feel part of them, even if I'm not her targeted audience anymore. But there's always something that holds me back; essentially, I just think her stories are a lot. I don't mean it negatively but, for example, Amelia here is a lot to take as a person and her friends will inevitably act like kids because, as someone in their 20s, that's how I perceive them. Their problems and crises rightly feel like the end of the world to them but not to me, and even if I can convince myself that both POVs are okay, I can't help but cringe at times. I appreciate her stories more for the good they do in speaking about sexuality or the lack of it, the absence of intentionally creating drama and accepting ourselves for who we are — flaws and all —, more than the plots and whatnot.
↠ 3.5 stars
Thanks to HarperCollins Children’s Books, HarperCollins and NetGalley, who provided me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest opinion.
p.s.: I also specify that this is a stand-alone, so you won't need to read any other book to understand this story, but Tessa and Imogen (here girlfriends 🥰) come from Imogen, Obviously
4 stars. Zany, nostalgic, and perfect for a summer read, reading Amelia, if Only brought me right back to the way it felt to be a teenager in the way only a Becky Albertalli novel can.
Every time I see a book about fandom and/or parasocial relationships I approach with caution and don’t expect much because the last time I didn’t it was a big disappointment(I’m looking right at you I was born for this). On the other hand, I just couldn’t not read a Becky Albertalli book, she basically single handedly got me into reading again. That’s to say I was extremely conflicted. In the end, this was not what I expected but at the same time exactly what I thought it would be, it’s confusing I know. This is a Becky Albertalli book, so it is extremely wholesome, filled with queer characters, great friend groups that make you wish you were there with them, and couples so cute you want to hug them. Like I said I wasn’t expecting much in the fandom part of the book, but Albertalli surprised me with a very nuanced and actually good take on it. Like many gen z kids I grew up on the internet, I was actively a part of various fandoms and got to have so many great experiences because of it. However, when you grow up you start to see the dark parts of it, namely parasocial relationships. I think she did a great job in showing the bad parts but also the good, the famous character didn’t just whine about the fans and how terrible they were, it’s not all black and white, and I’m glad this was acknowledged. Some parts made me shuckle because I am pretty sure I know exactly where she took some inspiration and I kept playing back younger me reading similar things years ago. This is a very great book, but what else would you expect from the queen of queer ya books.
Thank you Netgalley and HarperCollins Children’s Books for the ARC!
I enjoy Becky Albertalli's books but sometimes the characters aren't a good match. Perhaps as I grow older, the behaviors of high schoolers or younger adults become too separated from reality. Angsty, drama-ridden, speaking in riddles... I found myself rolling my eyes too often. It doesn't mean it's not a good book, just that I'm no longer the ideal audience... but if the characters can annoy me that much, then the writer has depicted them quite well.
who wrote this. MY becky? no, no this was baloney. it’s all about modern day parasocial relationships and falling in love with your best friend but everything was weird! the humor- always on point though but it doesn’t make up for anything else about this book 😭
thank you to netgalley and harpercollins for the arc
ok i did feel that the first half was slow; i appreciated the background blurbs of walter's online stuff and fandom related bits esp as this tackles fandom and shipping discourse, but it did slow the story down for me sometimes.
however, the latter half improved. i thought the friend group was so adorable and amelia is such a character. overall, super cute story!
Prior to this, I've only read one book by Becky Albertalli. And while I'm a fan of her writing, this was just an okay read for me. Though I appreciated the friendships and the commentary on parasocial relationships and how they impact both the creator and the viewer, I wasn't as invested in the story as I wanted to be. Nevertheless, I think that this will be a book that teens will appreciate for both its representation and it's real to life topics. If you want to know more about my thoughts, check out my video here: https://youtu.be/LLCj2yVoq6M?si=pG2Ee...
Let's start with a confession: starting off, I wasn't sure if I was going to enjoy this. I thought it was all painfully cringy, which I'm typically not easily bothered by, but it was almost too much for me here. Almost, because once I'd gotten properly invested in Amelia and the story, it didn't bother me at all anymore. It was so worth sticking with it, because this book became better and better the longer it went on. At first Amelia as a main character had to grow on me a little, but I ended up so endeared by her, and she's just hilarious. I also loved the small nods to Kiss & Tell by Adib Khorram and If This Gets Out by Cale Dietrich and Sophie Gonzales, and the larger nod to Imogen Obviously. I feel terrible for doubting Becky Albertalli initially, because she totally came through, of course she did, with another wonderful read full of amazingly loveable characters.
3.5 stars! I was so excited for this book, you actually have no idea. “Imogen, Obviously” is probably in my top 5 reads of all time, so naturally I knew I needed more Becky Albertalli books in my life.
With that being said, this book is not exactly what I was expecting. It wasn’t bad, but I didn’t really get invested until probably the halfway mark. I thought the characters needed more development, and the romance did not really start until the story was almost over. When it did start, it came out of nowhere?
But there were some things I loved!
Appearances from Imogen and Tessa?? I was THRILLED. This singlehandedly made this story so much more enjoyable for me. As one of my favorite fictional couples of all time- I am glad I read this, just for them! You won be back Becky.
As always, I have high level of appreciation for Albertalli’s takes on bisexual experience. The whole idea of “If I liked girls, I would know by now. But if I didn’t like them, why would I be thinking about it so much?”. I think she brings a unique voice into the space.
I like how wholesome the story is, and by the end I really was rooting for the main characters, even if I didn’t really feel the romance vibes from them. At one point I was actually so anxious for them to get their feelings out, I was probably biting my nails.
Anyway, this was pretty good! but maybe not as great as I thought it would be? I still liked it though, and I’m glad I read it.
Nothing says true love like a parasocial relationship with a semifamous YouTuber—or so Amelia figures. So they've never met in person and their only interaction was in the comments section...surely, if their lives overlapped, there'd be...well, not necessarily sparks. But maybe. There'd be a chance.
Oh, teenagers.*
You know going into an Albertalli book that it's going to be a fun romp, and this is no exception. The energy reminds me a little of Sophie Gonzales's The Perfect Guy Doesn't Exist—the way that, in Perfect Guy, Ivy writes this genuinely terrible fanfic and is perfectly okay with it (still my favourite thing about the book), while here, Amelia throws herself into appreciation of what sounds like a pretty (intentionally, as far as the book is concerned) mediocre YouTube channel and refuses to hear any criticism. It all feels very human, I guess; I love YA in which teenagers get to be average teenagers instead of award-winning prodigies or whatever.**
Anyway, cue a road trip with friends who are browbeaten into submission so that Amelia can finally, finally meet this guy in person. This is set in the same universe as Imogen, Obviously, so some of those characters pop up again, and it's nice to see how much of this is about friendship as much as it is about relationships. I think this is probably 3.5 stars for me—it's not likely to be one I'll return to—but I'm here for the chaotic energy and the lack of a true bad guy. (Do I think Amelia will last with her paramour? Not really. But it's YA, so it probably is eternal true love.) I wouldn't be sorry to see another book in this universe.
*I mean, I know adults who think this way too. So maybe it's more of an "oh, humanity"?
**I also love YA in which someone is a movie star or secretly a princess or goes to med school at sixteen (though in the latter case I usually end up shouting at the book). I'm like an onion, okay? Onions have layers.
Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.
I wish I could forget everything that I just read. Imogen obviously was such a fantastic book but this one might be the worst book I’ve encountered in A LONG TIME.
First of all what kind of plot was that ??? Everything happened within 3 days or something and everything was so rushed like I couldn’t breathe at all.
Second of all my main struggle with the book : AMELIA. Look we all were teenagers once that were obsessed with YouTubers ( yes me too ) but her obsession with Walter was definitely kind of parasocial if you asked me. Wdym you want to go to prom with a guy that you never met before ????
It also bothered me a lot that she forgot Natalie constantly throughout the book and then suddenly she realized she’s in love with her at the end ? Nah no one can convince me of that. That love story was SO POORLY executed it didn’t EVEN EXIST since the "OMG IM GOING TO MEET WALTER" -Plot took the majority of the space in the story.
And then her constantly cringy nicknames and her cringy behavior. The "I’m not like other girls" sentence was the final straw for me. Like you’re not special if you don’t ship actors/ stars/ famous persons in real life. It’s normal behavior btw ( she compared herself to the shippers in the book that shipped to those YouTubers and called herself a non shipper ).
That was probably the only good thing about this book that were not supposed to SHIP REAL PEOPLE WITH EACH OTHER.
Lastly i officially died when i saw Gretchen’s tweet. That girl will never stop gatekeeping bisexuality huh ?
Overall I never want to think about this book again.
Becky Albertalli has a way of making her characters so likeable. This was a cute YA sapphic romance. A friends to lovers trope with humor, and adorable characters.
We follow Amelia and her group of friends as they take a road trip to meet Walter, Amelia's favorite YouTuber. She has a bit of an obsession with him and her friends home with her, that she is in love with him. Through the trip though, she starts to develop some unexpected feelings for her BFF. I read this one really quick. Becky had me laughing at these characters' dialogue. Too funny. Makes me miss being young.
This is a slow burn, as it took me a bit to get to where it pulled me in but I still enjoyed it. Amelia has such a fun and witty personality. I loved her expressiveness with how she's managing her feelings with her own sexuality. It also touches on parasocial relationships with how Amelia felt towards Walter. That's definitely something that is more common nowadays with all of the social media shows and podcasts and such. Overall, a quick , enjoyable escape!
Thank you to the publisher and netgalley for the gifted copy. All opinions are my own.
"We're living so many moments at once, Amelia. So many."
The thing is...I think this is Albertalli's most profound work yet? Don't get me wrong I love all of her books but this one? I feel like I learned so much about myself while reading it.
You know when you read a book that portrays fandom and shipping and thinks it's super accurate when it's actually so cringe and over the top you lowkey want to jump out of a window to escape it? Yeah, no, Amelia, If Only is the exact opposite of that. Fandom (and shipping and conspiracy theories etc.) is portrayed so realistically that, in the right hands, this book could change the way you view being a fan, reevaluate your own actions and where the line is between getting invested in someone's art and thinking you have a right to comment on their personal lives - and why you shouldn't cross that line. All that paired with an amazing friends-to-lovers arc, a supportive friend group and the most unhinged and relatable MC makes this story pure art. ✨️
did i stay up reading this until 3 am? yes, because becky albertalli's writing will do that to you.
okay, WOW. i am also an amelia (and a sapphic, and i also live in westchester, and this book begins on my literal birthday, but i promise i'm not stealing your life lol). obviously if i see a lesbian romance with my name, i'm going to pick it up. and it takes place in my county? cut the cameras...
so this is definitely a read for the chronically online fifteen hours of screen time social media in the 2020s. if you're not part of that crowd, you'll be very confused and also probably shut the book within forty pages. the lingo is very much like a tiktok comment section - i mean, the word milf is written an alarming amount in a published book. however, this did not really sway my rating because i think it just works in this context. it's actually quite hilarious.
this is so fast-paced and enjoyable. the flow of the story moves smoothly and takes place over only four days, and you're likely going to devour this in way less time than that. i don't know, it's just something about a queer friend group that has me swayed. the story is mainly dialogue driven, where a lot of the chapters begin off with setting and thoughts, then it is carried mostly by the characters. and i love that - i love character driven stories, not plot driven. i want to be reading about people and their relationships, and this delivered.
that being said, i do think my enjoyability would've been higher if i was given more character descriptions and a little bit more background at the start of the story. thank goodness for the cover - i had looked at the characters and tried to figure out which ones were twins from the cover art. i know that this was probably a choice because the characters are already drawn on the cover, but i still do think it is always nice to get more of a sentence or two of their appearance for clarity.
also, i'm not the biggest fan of becky albertalli's use of verbiage. sometimes i was thinking no one really talks like this. but you know, young adult books.
not everything you'll read is going to be this show-stopping award-winning piece of literature, and this book doesn't try to do that. it's a fun, lighthearted and hopeful queer read. i think that it is exactly what it needs to be.
This was my first Becky Albertalli book, and I can see why she’s popular. However, I don’t think her writing style is for me. I felt like she was trying really hard to emulate the dialogue style of Gilmore Girls. The very fast paced, witty back and forth that keeps you hooked. It’s definitely entertaining, but it quickly becomes tiring and overdone. Nobody truly talks like that.
It’s one thing to have a character who hides her feelings behind humour, it’s another to have a character who doesn’t have a personality and the humour is trying to distract you from it. Can we stop cracking jokes for two seconds and have a real conversation? Natalie does call Amelia out on this, but we still never get a true heart to heart between them. I don’t feel like I ever got a true grasp on any of our characters.
I do think this is an important book for teens in fandom spaces. The way it tackles parasocial relationships and the dehumanization of celebrities is necessary in our hyper-online world. The conversation around queerbaiting accusations is one that I know is close to Becky’s heart. I appreciated the way this book portrayed and handled Amelia’s feelings while still steering her into a healthier mindset.
Content warnings: biphobia and homophobia, references to outing.
Rep: Amelia (MC) is cis, white, Jewish, and bisexual. There is also no on-page ADHD confirmation, but she gives big ADHD vibes. Side queer characters, side POC characters.
This was a lot of fun! I didn't read the blub before starting this one, so it was a surprise to me what the plot was.
Amelia is a chaotic little bunny. She is hilarious and witty. I adored her friendship group, and how everyone was down to go on a last minute road trip so she could meet a YouTuber she loves.
Also, I am 99.9% sure that my nemesis, Gretchen, from Imogen's book, appeared in twitter convos. I hope she steps barefoot on a lego.
Becky Albertalli has SUCH a chip on her shoulder about the queerbaiting thing. Her last two books have just been a relitigation of 2018 Twitter drama. Enough already.
I liked Imogen's book a lot more than this one--although this one was just as snappy and funny, the plot wasn't quite as tight and the romance is very much a nonevent. I didn't even realize who the other romantic lead was until I was halfway through the book, because there's just no tension or spark whatsoever. I'm just not huge on friends-to-lovers arcs, so it was admittedly already a tough sell for me, but it was veryyy thin regardless of my personal preferences.
These sorts of things usually come in threes, so I'm hoping the third book isn't yet another polemic against too-online gatekeepers of the queer experience. That's now been covered.
I’m a big fan of Becky Albertalli. One might say she’s one of my favorite authors. A number of years ago an employee of mine went on and on about a book that they loved. This book was one they’d read multiple times and it meant a lot to them… they wanted me to read it. I can’t express how much that book would come to mean to me. I’ve now read Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda at least 10 times, watched the movie far too many times to count and the spin-off show, Love Victor, as well as all of her subsequent novels that followed.
I like to think that all of her characters live in the same world (which would make sense since they are contemporary) and even though these books aren’t part of the “Simonverse,” that Simon and Blue or Victor could just pop up at any moment. I mean, I wasn’t really expecting Imogen to make a cameo and she did, so really anything is possible.
Amelia is such a relatable character. For me and many other people, we have those celebrities that we will fangirl over to the extreme. I don’t send messages to actors (that I can remember), but if I did, I hope they were as well received as hers were. She got an eventual friendship out of hers. Most people get blocked or a restraining order for the amount of obsession that goes into a fandom. I would hope that I’d never be that dedicated.😂
I enjoy the type of slow burn, friends to lovers stories that I’m starting to equate with Becky’s books. It takes a lot of work to be as delusional as Amelia is that she kept her own feelings a secret from herself. It took her getting it spelled out in smoke signals from her friends before she even thought about it. But while it may have taken most of their life to figure it out, that’s the kind of relationship that stands the test of time.
Now, when we finally get the next book, is there a chance we’ll get more cameos? Maybe a Leah Pop-up? I’d beg, but I’m afraid that once I got down on my knees, I’d be too tired from staying up way past my bed time finishing this to get back up.
Thank you to Epic Reads for sending me a finished copy of the book.
I loved Imogen obviously and I'm quite disappointed at how unreadable I found this to be. The writing is choppy and all over the place, the audiobook narrator who also narrated Imogen obviously was somehow giving me a headache on this one and I just don't think I can continue reading it. Loved the Imogen cameos though! She will forever be my baby.
This book is a true smorgasbord of things I absolutely love - road trip, friends to lovers, unapologetic nerdiness, AND exploration and discussion of parasocial relationships in fandom space?? Pinch me, I must be dreaming! Amelia, as a protagonist, is loud and funny and just the right amount of annoying that she feels like a real person. I loved every single character in this book, to be honest, and I would very much like them to all be my friends. The journey (both physical and metaphorical) that Amelia goes on to finally understand her feelings for her best friend was so sweet, and frustrating, and relatable - exactly as it should be!
I'm such a fan of the epistolary form in novels, and interspersing social media exchanges and transcripts of YouTube videos is such a perfect modernisation of this. I think it had the potential to slow the pace of the story, but, for me, it just helped to build the tension between chapters while giving me sneaky little peaks into the wider world that these characters inhabit.
If I had but one criticism, it would be that we didn't get to spend enough time with Amelia and Natalie post-discovery of their feelings for one another. I loved seeing the two of them finally come together, but I'm not going to pretend it didn't leave me ever-so-slightly wanting to see a bit more of their romance blossoming.
Thank you so much to NetGalley and HarperCollins UK for this eARC in exchange for an honest review!
amelia i understand you because i have been known to say on multiple occasions that i believe julien baker and i would be good friends if we had met under the right circumstances and she was not a beloved creature inside the spotify app. also really funny to read this book as someone who was on tumblr surrounded by dan & phil/larry discourse. becky i Know where you’ve been
I loved Imogen, it was a real highlight for me so I was super hyped for this one as well! Sadly I felt a little thrown into the plot, the characters weren’t really introduced and I had a hard time getting into it. It took me a while to understand the fandom Amelia was into too. I liked the second half of the story a lot more, the road trip and meet and greet was fun and I loved the talk about parasocial relationships, the toxic side of fandom and assuming people’s sexuality as well as the talk about bisexuality. I honestly didn’t feel the romance at all in this, there was no spark in my opinion and most of the book Alwmia is so fixated on Walter and the love interest is continuously connected to her ex girlfriend. I liked the ending though!
I struggled with rating this one because I just loved how bi teens were handled in this - no one does queer youth identities quite like Becky Albertalli - but this was my first exposure to her and this book didn't completely work for me, mostly because of the romance and the story. I definitely saw myself in these amazing out and proud neurodivergent bisexuals though and related to how they questioned themselves before realizing who they were.
This is set in the same universe as Imogen, Obviously but I never felt like I was missing anything by not reading any of the other books. Amelia, obsessed with her favorite bi Youtuber, Walter, sees that he's holding a meet and greet on the campus of her friend's college, so she and her friend group make a road trek to meet her idol. Along the way she realizes she's in love with her best friend Natalie.
I did enjoy the fandom stuff and the peek into parasocial attraction and how crazy and creepy fans can get through glimpses of text messages, Reddit forums and Twitter strings. And again the bi rep was excellent.
But there was a lot of banter and telling that bogged down the pace for me and I'm not really a cute banter fan. And I was told instead of shown that there was a slow burn between Natalie and Amelia but I didn't even feel the burn, it was barely there. I kind of saw it by the end, but I wish I had gotten more backstory into their friendship to really get emotionally invested in them as a couple.
So Becky Albertalli fans will love this but... it just didn't quite work for me, though I did love a lot of things about it.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the advance review copy. I am leaving this review voluntarily.