What do you think?
Rate this book
295 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 29, 2024
“Have you ever been in a rat’s anus, honey? You’d want to forget too.”
“Birds! (Silence, everyone completely focused) For too long the humans have drawn their lines on shared soil and claimed ownership of what they cannot own. (Lots of nodding and muttering in assent) Tomorrow we shall march into the big field and eat. (Big cheers) And then we shall eat in the other fields too. (Even bigger cheers) We shall eat in the wheat fields; we shall eat in the barley fields. (Much bigger cheers) We shall eat the oats and the legumes! (Deafening cheers) And when they throw manure at us, well, perhaps we shall eat that too. (Went a bit quiet) And we shall never surrender! (Huge cheers and applause)”
“2 am—Bowel movement: After a bedtime enema, His Majesty awoke to perform a strong and persistent discharge, contents of which were full and firm, indicating complete evacuation. A long and sustained note marked the finish, of which the Royal trumpeter would be proud.”
![]()
“More than anything, I hope these stories serve as a reminder that nobody is really a nobody. We can’t all be famous Renaissance masters or constipated kings, but when the human race finally bows out of the cosmos in who knows how many years, each and every one of us can be safe in the knowledge that, without us, nothing would’ve been the same.
I think it was Marie Antoinette’s dog sitter who once said, “No one is too small to make a difference, even if they have just been made up to give attribution to a fabricated quote,” which was just so like her.”