The Malice of Inanimate Objects

by M.R. James

A short ghost story by the British author M.R. James. It is the penultimate story which M.R. James wrote and the last of his stories to be published during his lifetime. It first appeared in print in the June 1933 issue of the Eton College magazine The Masquerade. It was not included in any of the anthologies of James' works which were published in the 1930s and was not published again until 1984 when it appeared in the sixth issue of the newsletter Ghosts & Scholars.

The story describes how a vengeful ghost uses a variety of everyday objects to take revenge on a wrongdoer.

Most of the first three paragraphs of the story are made up of a retelling of the Brothers Grimm fairy tale"Squire Korbes" ("Herr Korbes" in the original German), in which someone who was "either a very wicked or very unfortunate man" is made to suffer by a group of animals and inanimate objects.

Genres: Horror, Fiction, Short Stories

ebook

First published June 1, 1933

About the author

Montague Rhodes James, who used the publication name M.R. James, was a noted English mediaeval scholar & provost of King's College, Cambridge (1905–18) & of Eton College (1918–36). He's best remembered for his ghost stories which are widely regarded as among the finest in English literature. One of James' most important achievements was to redefine the ghost story for the new century by dispensing with many of the formal Gothic trappings of his predecessors, replacing them with more realistic contemporary settings.

Librarian note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

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Reviews

[Peter · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some guys have all the luck and others not. This little tale tells how the malice of inanimate objects influences the situation of some fellows. You can say it was bad luck. Maybe it was something else that lead to your end. Interesting story but not too intriguing or creepy. Read a bit old fashioned and stilted. For M.R. James fans only!

[Bill Kerwin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This last M.R. James’ short story to be published during his life—printed in the Eton College magazine The Masquerade in 1933—is a step up from the occasional pieces and bagatelles that constitute his last works. The key to its success, I think, is to be found in the title of the story, for James’ here adopts a distinct modern tone, straight out of “The Age of Anxiety” or the early paranoid short stories of Philip K. Dick. He describes a world in which the most common everyday objects may be actively endeavoring to kill us, and the fate of one poor chap to whom this horrible thing occurs:

In the lives of all of us, short or long, there have been days, dreadful days, on which we have had to acknowledge with gloomy resignation that our world has turned against us. I do not mean the human world of our relations and friends: to enlarge on that is the province of nearly every modern novelist. In their books it is called ‘Life’ and an odd enough hash it is as they portray it. No, it is the world of things that do not speak or work or hold congresses and conferences. It includes such beings as the collar stud, the inkstand, the fire, the razor, and, as age increases, the extra step on the staircase which leads you either to expect or not to expect it. By these and such as these (for I have named but the merest fraction of them) the word is passed round, and the day of misery arranged.

[Tom · Rating 4 out of 5]

This tale concerns the theory of 'Resistentialism'. Resistentialism is a jocular theory to describe "seemingly spiteful behavior manifested by inanimate objects", where objects that cause problems (like lost keys or a runaway bouncy ball) are said to exhibit a high degree of malice toward humans. Hellwig,Paul. 1989. Insomniac's Dictionary: The Last Word On The Odd Word.. New York: Facts on File. (p. 142)


The theory posits a war being fought between humans and inanimate objects, and all the little annoyances that objects cause throughout the day are battles between the two. The ending of this story has Mr. Burton traveling home by train. There are no other people in the train carriage in which he is traveling, and it is not connected to any other carriages by a corridor. Nevertheless, he is found dead there with his throat cut by a shaving razor. Written in red on a white napkin on his chest is, "GEO W. FECI."
The message could be understood as meaning, "George Wilkins did this." The literal translation of the Latin phrase, however, is, "Geo W. made me", suggesting that George Wilkins created an avenging demon.

[John Yelverton · Rating 2 out of 5]

This story could have been absolutely amazing and horrific based off of the title, but sadly, the author goes for laughs rather than horror.

[Nekrotikk · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Malice of Inanimate Objects by M. R. James

Originally I wrote this review thinking about the collected works of M. R. James. I use it here because although this story didn't appear in a collected edition of his work in his lifetime it does have the same style and quality as his other stories and I read it along with them.

M. R. James was a master of his craft so his ghost stories have influenced many authors and filmmakers. Each of his short stories evokes the most vivid images even though James tends to limit his descriptions, allowing the imagination of the reader to run wild. A lot has changed since James wrote these stories, but the ghosts can still scare. Imagine putting the book down and seeing a shape close by, not too dissimilar to the one you'd just read about... Did an entity from the mind of M. R. James find its way into this world..? Or perhaps, after all, it was nothing more than a shadow.

I love M. R. James and tend to read his ghost stories every year around Halloween.

[Elias Carlson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This little short story suffers from its length and humor. This could have been an amusing scare of how objects turn againts us, but sadly its used for laughter. Great story but i wish it was more horror themed and alot longer.

[Ursula Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another great short story from MR James. The title aptly describes the tale. Either the gentleman was was very bad or very unlucky. Excellent narration for a creepy tale.

[Dave · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting story......

[Forked Radish · Rating 4 out of 5]

I.C.U. 'Look out! I'm coming.' GEO. W. FECI.

[Tony Ciak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great story by great author and great narration by great narrator.

[Paulina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Surprised this was written on 1933, when inanimate objects were not as much an important part of our lives as today.
interesting reading.